Wednesday, June 27, 2007

God Is My Shelter

Mum vomited twice this morning after her radiotherapy treatment. She felt a little light-headed too. Her rashes are still there but under control. I do not know whether later she will have more of them - usually they will appear after the treatment. Well, no point for me to guess whether they will surface or not. It is my prayer they will not but if they do, then I shall trust that the Lord will heal her accordingly.

I had wanted to go back with my parents because I was concerned for mum but dad told me he could manage. Well, we went on our separate ways. I headed for Botanic Gardens to spend some time in quiet with the Lord.

I was praying for mum that she would be completely healed after all the treatments. I can feel her pain and discomfort. Sometimes I know she does not want to show it but I could see that she is suffering in silence.

I cannot deny that I am frustrated especially when I find myself helpless in easing her struggles. Sometimes it reaches to a point where I would just want to scream my lungs out! I have gone through pain before hence I can understand mum's struggles. When I was going through those dialysis treatments, I asked the Lord that my loved ones (family and friends) will not go through this same agony but now mum is experiencing it.

Am I blaming God for putting her through this? I guess not. I could have been angry with Him but I know He allows certain things to happen for our good; for the building of our characters; to achieve certain of His purposes; etc. I also know He loves us so much that He will not allow us to suffer beyond what we cannot bear.

I am still tired trying to deal with the matters at home and in my life. I pleaded with the Lord to sustain me; to continue to give me the joy during this trying period so that I can continue to bring hope to my family. Sometimes when I know I am going to break, I would just go out of my home and break somewhere before coming back to carry on with where I left off. So far, I am thankful to God that He is able to refresh me.

I am now in Ngee Ann City Coffee Bean writing this blog. Shall spend some time here doing some stuff for the Missions Ministry and perhaps do some reading later. I also need to run some errands later for dad and for some friends.

Oh yah, I have an answered prayer to share though it is nothing big. Before the mission team left for Cambodia earlier this month, a magazine company donated a certain amount of money to an orphanage. When the team came back, I was told that they did not obtain a receipt from the staff. It worried me because I needed to pass the receipt to the company as an accountability. The magazine staff even called to enquire about it. I prayed about it and even sent an email to the orphanage staff. Guess what? Yesterday, two days after I wrote an email, I received a letter and in it was the receipt. I have been anxious and God, in His grace, took it away by answering my prayers. Hallelujah!

Well, I shall end here for now. It will be a good day especially when I know God has a hand in it.

"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble." Psalm 46:1

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