Eventful Period

Yesterday I spent a considerable amount of time praying in my room. Dad will be discharged on Friday. The hospital rejected my request to ward him for a longer period. My main reason for that is due to the fact that there may be complications related to his tube-feeding. I found out about this on Monday when I went for the Caregiver's Training session.

At one of the feeding sessions, I had to do a litmus test using some stomach contents which I needed to pump out from my dad. The nurse who was supervising also could not. She said it is important to have the litmus test to ascertain a possibility of infection.

Following that observation, I asked how often would such cases be especially when dad needs to be fed six times. The nurse said it could be as often as once daily. When this happens at home, dad would have to be sent to either a General Practitioner ("GP") or Polyclinic or to the Accident and Emergency ('A&E") Department so as to have his stomach checked.

When my brother and I heard that, it worried us more as we really cannot afford the time to always send him to one of the above-mentioned due to our work and all. If it is going to be so regular, then it would be better off that he stays in hospital till the tube-feeding is weaned off.

Anyway, as mentioned, the request was rejected and now we will just have to accept the fact that dad may be going in and out of the house often to have his stomach checked should there be regular cases of infection.

Yesterday when I was considering all the adjustments which need to be made at home for all, I felt very overwhelmed because my work has been affected badly and I seriously do not know how situation will be when dad is back home. As much as I would love him to be discharged, I am frankly not looking forward to it because of the above complications which may happen.

I surrendered to the Lord all my burdens and concerns because I am at my wit's end. Only He can help me and everyone else at home. Above all, I pray there will be no cases of infection. I also prayed for God to help me bear with these current inconveniences. I also concluded that during this period, the focus is not about me but dad. I will just have to go through this period with joy and walk with dad through this period of recovery.

So much for that. I have not been training as often as I should for the Charity Bike 'n' Blade 2012 which is just one month from now. I simply cannot because of dad's condition. Even at times when I could, I was just simply exhausted.

That said, I did push myself to cycle longer distances twice last week, covering more than 80km. Today, though I am feeling tired and also having to get some work done in office, I will have to get over the inertia and just ride and hopefully to cover above 100km.

As of now, I am only short of $621 before hitting my target of $30,000 that I am raising for the event. But the overall target of $350,000 set by the organising committee is still short of $80,700. Since I still have 30 days or so left, I will try to raise as much as possible.

It has been a tiring process to get the funds in but I have been very encouraged by all my family and friends who have donated. I have never imagined being able to raise the current amount. Truly, glory to God for helping me and I know He will continue to help me as I press on.

I need to work my schedules so that I can put in more training sessions even though I have to handle matters at home. It seems impossible but I shall pray that God will help me manage my time better.

The past one and a half weeks, I have basically encountered incident after incident involving individuals needing medical care. I was at home two Saturdays ago when I heard a loud crash. At the cross junction near my apartment block was an accident involving two cars and a motorcycle. As I am trained in first-aid, I rushed down to help. Thank God out of the six victims, only one was seriously affected with neck and possibly spinal injury. I had to immobilise the lady while waiting for the ambulance to arrive. The rest had superficial injuries.

Then last Wednesday when I was cycling past a school in the east, I noticed a lady-driver vomiting in her car. She was slouched on the driver's seat and her daughter was trying to help her. I was informed that the lady is an ex-stroke patient. As I was not going to take any chances, I wanted to call the ambulance but not long after, the lady's husband came and told me that he would be sending her to the National University Hospital where her medical records are.

Two days ago when I was in Chinatown looking for dad's milk formula, I came across a young man suffering from cerebral palsy. He was shaking violently on his wheelchair and fell onto the gound. I carried and placed him back onto the chair but he fell again. I decided to call the police to come and assist me but another passer-by had earlier called for an ambulance. Soon both came. After checking that the young man was okay and having obtained his address, we all accompanied him home. It was later that I was informed by a neighbour that the man was upset that his parents had recently abandoned him and he is now in the foster care of his aunty.

All of the above have reminded me of how frail life can be and how one should help another so that the road to recovery will be much easier to trod. Hence, these have motivated me to keep doing what I can for the two beneficiaries: St. Luke's Hospital and Eldercare, which the Charity Bike 'n' Blade 2012 is trying to bless.

Okay, I shall stop here. A long account especially when I have not blogged for so long.

God is still good even though I am in a situation which I have no desire to be in. He will see all of us through and dad will be healed in the name of Jesus! :)

Pressing On

Last evening after I left the hospital, I was very tired but I did not feel like going home. In the end, I headed for Sentosa Boardwalk to just spend some time with God and also to do some reading. The weather was unusually very cool as the skies were overcast. It really made the whole atmosphere more conducive to just chill after a whole day of talking with doctors and nurses and encouraging dad to persevere even though he is in pain.

I started to reminisce those times when I was still very young when dad brought me to so many movies at the old Lido, Odeon and Capitol cinemas. I also missed those times we spent together shopping at Yaohan and playing in the open fields of the Botanic Gardens.

I also remembered moments when dad would shield me whenever mum caned me. She was the disciplinarian. I still have the first Sony Walkman which he got for me because I love listening to music.

Then over the years we drifted. The reason is mainly I have my commitments and schedules and hardly had the time to spend with him. We had our quarrels and disagreements too.

As I was reflecting on the above-mentioned, all I conclude is that good times need not only be reminisced. It can still happen now and also the future; it is just how we want to make it to be.

I told the Lord that things are changing in my family. My grandma and parents are all getting very old. Instead of giving excuses that there is a generation gap, I will want to spend quality time with them before it is too late. Basically to enjoy each other's company.

I left the hospital a while ago after ensuring that dad is okay. As he was feeling sleepy, I thought I let him rest. A nurse on duty informed me that dad pulled out the tube which was inserted into his nose cavity this morning. As he needs to be fed through the tube, they had to re-insert it even though it is uncomfortable for dad. I had to spend some time with him to explain the whole purpose and the challenge to him is that he tries his best to endure the pain but only for a short while. I told him if he can do that, he will get well sooner and after that he can again eat and drink normally through the mouth.

I prayed with dad for a while and hope this will allow him to be aware of God's presence in and around him. I also trust that God's peace be upon dad and this will then calm him down and rest much.

I did not sleep well last night as I was thinking of a lot of things - not just matters concerning dad but also my relationship with some individuals. For some we have drifted and I am praying that things will improve over time. It is my desire that I do not take relationship for granted but to cherish those whom God has given me the honour to know as friends.

Well, just some thoughts for this period. I am trying to find time to cycle this week. I need to remind myself that life needs to go on as normal as possible. Tough but it has to.

Okay, I shall stop here.

Only God Can Heal

Yesterday has been a traumatic day for all in my family especially my brother and I as we had to be at the Accident and Emergency Department of Tan Tock Seng Hospital twice.

Dad fainted at the bus-stop while he was on his way to church. Two strangers called for the ambulance and he was rushed to the hospital. I was informed about this when I was in church and I had to rush to the A&E. My brother came shortly after.

After checking his psycho-motor skills and running some blood tests, he was given the green light to go home when the results did not reveal anything serious. I was a bit skeptical about the discharge as I suspected dad was having a stroke as his speech was a bit slurred and he was still weak in terms of his mobility. I reminded the doctor that my dad is a ex-stroke patient and I even asked twice whether he was sure that dad could be discharged. When he assured me, I took his word for it and we all headed home.

Things got worst when dad came home. He fell three times within a span of two hours. My brother and I also noticed that his mouth was not normal. He simply could not walk anymore. That was when we decided that he needed to go back to the A&E.

This time a M.R.I. was carried out. After all the tests were done and the results released, it was confirmed that dad has a stroke and needed to be warded.

This was when all the frustrations surfaced. We were instructed to go up to the ward to obtain detailed information about dad's condition from the neurologist on duty. We did just that.

When we were in the ward, we asked the nurse on duty whether there was a need for us to stay back to wait for the doctor's update or should we just go home and obtain the update today. We were told to stay back.

The Medical Officer came. Five times he was aware of our presence: once when he entered the ward; once when he took dad's medical file, twice when he took some tissue papers to blow his nose and once when he was talking to one of the nurses.

Then came another doctor who is the Registrar. When he came in, he asked the M.O. whether he had eaten. The M.O. said no. Then together they examined dad's medical file. After 45 minutes, they stood up and left. I could hear one of them said, "Let's go for dinner."

My brother and I were surprised by that and asked the nurse on duty what was going on. As she was unsure, she called one of the doctors and after making the enquiry, she updated us that they had to attend to an emergency.

Having already overheard that they were going for dinner, I told the nurse that was a blatant lie. The nurse was stumped because I told her, as a matter of fact, that they were not attending to an emergency but was on the way to have their dinner. She quickly apologised. We expressed our disappointment to her though it is not her fault.

I understand totally that doctors are humans and they too need to eat but do not lie especially when they knew my brother and I were there and yet did not spare a minute or two to update us.

She advised us to go home. Before we left, we requested that a doctor call us in the morning to update us but no one called. It was only when I was in the hospital and having to request for a doctor to speak to me that I was updated that there were three issues pertaining to dad's condition: one was hemorrhaging of the brain on both sides; a blood clot on the right; and a chest infection.

The tricky part is that the hemorrhaging and blood clot cannot be treated together. Hence aspirin cannot be given to thin the blood to remove the clot as this may worsen the hemorrhaging. But this would also mean that more clots may be formed. Both will affect dad's stroke. Doctor is taking a one-step-at-a-time approach and see how. The next one week will be crucial. Another CT scan will be done next week to see whether his condition does improve.

I am basically quite tired from this episode and I think it is also for my brother. On top of having to handle dad's hospitalisation, we also need to ensure that mum and grandma are okay too.

Looking on the bright side, I am able to see God's hand in all these. He provided two strangers at the bus-stop to catch dad when he fainted and then they called the ambulance. Next was how my brother and I detected the anomaly of dad's mouth which made us decide to send him back to the A&E. This decision was later affirmed by the neurologist who told me that if dad had not been admitted earlier, he may even fall into a coma.

As much as I did ask God, "Why this again?!", I also know He will be the only One who can heal dad. I am also glad my church is also praying for him. I was especially touched to know that the congregations from both services yesterday interceded for dad.

A big "Thank You" to those who have been praying. I still covet more of your prayers.

Okay, time to stop.