Bye, 2009. Hello, 2010!

It is the eve of the new year. I am now in church, waiting for a youth programme, "Surrender," to begin. It is a time for the youths to come together and evaluate on the year 2009 and for them to surrender their plans for the next year to God.

Time flies that we are now going into the first decade of the millennium which seems to zoom by so quickly.

2009 has been a year of turmoil (not necessarily bad if I may just add) for me - considering what is the next step God wants me to take and to actually obey Him regardless of whether I like the directions He is showing me, which usually are those that stir the comfort zone I have been in.

It has been 11 years since I entered the teaching profession - I have to say they have been wonderful moments especially in the many lives I have encountered each year. As much as I enjoyed being a teacher, there is still a void in me which has been causing me to consider the calling I have received from God many years back (when I was in the Methodist Youth Fellowship) to go into the full-time ministry.

I shelved this idea as I have been advised by my mentors to consider teaching in an academic institution as a mission field. No doubt it has been but after all these years, I felt it is time for me to consider the next step. There is no confirmation as yet but I shall make concrete plans to see how and where God is leading me. The year 2010 will be that period for me to search.

2009 has been a trying year too as I have to handle a lot of issues at home especially mum's health. All thanks and praise to God that she has recovered and is now up and running though I have to caution her once in a while to go easy. I had to also deal with grandma and dad who were very affected but God is always good to see them through their anxieties.

The last few months of this year have not been good for my walk with the Lord as I suddenly felt this sense of tiredness - not to the point of burning out but more so feeling very drained wondering what God wants me to do with my life. A lot of things I have to handle in the Missions Ministry also took up a lot of my energy but praise God the Missions Committee members were there to share the load.

The above-mentioned sometimes led to frustrations and it is obvious especially to those who are closer to me.

Anyway, I am looking forward to the year ahead. Whatever the Lord wants me to go through, I shall do so. I also need to start to get back on track again so that I can listen to God more clearly as I pray; as I read His Word; and as I be still and let Him speak.

I shall end here for now. :)

Have a blessed and adventurous 2010, everyone!!! :)

“This is what the LORD says— he who made a way through the sea, a path through the mighty waters, "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.” Isaiah 43:16, 18-19

A Short Break I Need

I am now at the airport, waiting to board the plane to Kuala Lumpur to link up with a few friends who drove up to the Malaysian capital this morning. Though it is not a trip to a faraway land, I am still looking forward to a good break after a hectic two weeks of being away in Cambodia and also coordinating two dear friends' weddng which ended this afternoon. In fact it has been a hectic couple of months, having to prepare for three mission/Vacation-With-A-Purpose trips.

Praise the Lord the wedding went as planned. Indeed He is good! I enjoyed myself coordinating the whole event and I am happy that two more friends have tied the knot and now living their lives together as one. May the Lord continue to lead and guide them as they enter this new chapter of their lives.

As always, the parents of the bride asked when it would be my turn and my answer will always be if God so desires me to have a life partner, surely He will show me that someone who shares the same calling in serving the Lord actively. And for those who know me well enough, that also means praying for courage to make the move. I have regretted not doing so not too long ago - though I regret it now but I guess it is a lesson learnt.

Anyway, the mission trip with the youths was good as I got to know each one of them better but out of the 12 of us who went, 11 (including me) came back with suspected food poisoning of varying intensity. I had to see the doctor twice in order for my tummy to get well. Two youths had to be hospitalised as a precautionary measure but praise God they are now discharged and reccovering well.

Of the more than 20 times I have been to Cambodia, this is the worst of them all but God is merciful and good to restore us back almost to full health.

There were a few times during the trip when I wanted to call it quits in leading youth teams because it is a heavy responsibility having to take care of sons and daughters of parents who have painstakingly brought them up to who they are now. Sometimes the fear is there that something might happen to them and I am to be blamed for it.

Anyway, in the end I learnt that God is in charge. With that, I guess I will continue to lead teams up to anywhere in the world so that God's name may be preached to those who have yet to hear of Him.

Well, time for me to end here.

I shall write more soon.

Have a blessed week, everyone! :)

Compassion for My Neighbours

I have been busy the past few weeks that I did not have the time and energy to blog. I decided to do so today - better than never, I guess.

Anyway, on my way back just now, I saw this elderly man standing in front of me. He is probably in his late seventies. Ever had this experience where you see someone and suddenly you feel like crying? Well, that was precisely how I felt. I think he has cataract on both his eyes. He was frail and in his pocket was a slip of paper where the man's particulars were on it. I guess it is to allow strangers or the relevant authorities to send him home should he get lost.

Well, I was quite disappointed that no one in the train offered their seats to him, even for those who were sitting on the "reserved" seats for those who need them most. Anyway, I asked him whether he needed a seat and it was then that I realised the lady behind him was either his daughter or relative. She said it was alright.

As I continued on my journey, I suddenly felt the need to pray for the man. I asked the Lord to restore his sight so that he can see clearly again. I hope my faith in the Lord will cause the man to be healed. I guess I need not see it to believe so I shall leave it to God to do the healing process.

Well, tomorrow onwards I will be seeing more who are like this man when I go to Cambodia on a mission trip with the Youth Ministry team. Sometimes it can be emotionally draining when you see the injustices of this fallen world. I guess I shall channel my disappointment to one of hope as I pray for the Lord to remove the pain and poverty of many around us - our neighbours, those who are in need basically.

I covet the prayers of those who are reading this blog as 11 youths and I spend 6 days in Phnom Penh - these few days may not be enough to change the world but if we can make a difference in at least one person's life, all thanks to God! :)

Time for me to stop here and do some packing.

Till I blog again, the Lord bless and keep you all. :)

"On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. "Teacher," he asked, "what must I do to inherit eternal life?" "What is written in the Law?" he replied. "How do you read it?" He answered: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'" "You have answered correctly," Jesus replied. "Do this and you will live." But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, "And who is my neighbor?" In reply Jesus said: "A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he fell into the hands of robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, took him to an inn and took care of him. The next day he took out two silver coins and gave them to the innkeeper. 'Look after him,' he said, 'and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.' "Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?" The expert in the law replied, "The one who had mercy on him." Jesus told him, "Go and do likewise." Luke 10:25-37

Accountability To One Another

Last Sunday I thought my busy week was over but came Monday, I realised it was not to be. Another week has gone by and I should think this new week would be a more breathable one. Haha.

I am now at the airport waiting for the arrival of the mission team from the Women Society of Christian Service ministry. They have been in Cambodia since Thursday- I pray their time spent with the Khmers was a fruitful and ministering one.

It has been a long day for me. After attending the 8.45am service, I went out to have brunch with my sister. It was a merry-go-round for us. We were planning to eat dim sum in the East but the restaurant has closed down. We then headed to the one in the North but realised it was not the branch of the one in the East. In the end, we settled for sushies. :)

Anyway, it was back to church again to prepare for the Youth Ministry Mission Team meeting. We started at 2.00pm with devotion and prayer, followed by a run-through of the activities which we will be doing in Cambodia. After that we practised the magic tricks and balloon-sculpting we learnt in the early phase of the training segment. Before we closed I conducted a security and trip briefing.

By then it was already 5.00pm. I was so tempted to go home and rest for a while but decided against it as I knew then I would not want to go out again. Anyway, I headed for town to run some errands before taking the train to the airport.

I just finished dinner - had pasta at a fusion restaurant and I am now at a cafe waiting for the ladies to leave the baggage area.

Well, yesterday I attended a leaders' training session where it touched on accountability. I was reminded of the importance to account my life to a group of closer siblings-in-Christ so that they can help keep my walk in check and in step. I have two accountability groups - one with brothers around my age and the other to a group of younger brothers.

As much as I would love to spend more time with them, I realised lately it has been tough due to family commitments. It has been a struggle to fellowship with all 6 of them. I am praying and working on being regular again.

I learnt yesterday that if I cherish accounting my life to others, then I would make time to meet my siblings-in-Christ. If I really cannot, I probably could update my status to them via email. I guess the essential thing is not to break the communication.

Okie, time for me to stop here. I shall blog again soon.

Have a blessed week ahead!

My Alabaster Jar

ALABASTER JAR

Verse 1:
This alabaster jar is all I have of worth.
I break it at Your feet, Lord,
it's less than You deserve.
You're far more beautiful,
more precious than the oil.
The sum of my desires
and the fullness of my joy!

Pre-Chorus:
Like you spilled Your blood,
I spill my heart
as an offering to my King.

Chorus:
Here I am, take me,
as an offering.
Here I am, giving every heartbeat
for Your glory.
Take me.

Verse 2:
This time that I have left
is all I have of worth.
I lay it at Your feet, Lord,
it's less than You deserve.
And though I've little strength
and though my days are few,
You gave Your life to me
so, I will live my life for You.

I am leading worship at the 11.15am service on Sunday. Since last week, I have been considering what songs should be used. Though on Monday I sent out the list to the Worship Team, I was still not satisfied with the choices. It was mainly due to the songs being sung too many times already. There is nothing wrong in that but I just did not have the peace. There was a time when I asked the Lord to just provide me with at least a new song though I have not updated myself with the latest.

Anyway, in the course of this week I was in church to print out the Missions Ministry Newsletters to be distributed to members and friends on Sunday as it is Missions Emphasis Sunday. One of the church staff was reading the introduction I wrote and it reminded her of a song she sang in the church her husband is pastoring.

Last night she emailed me a link in YouTube where she introduced me the above song by Gateway Worship. I listened to it and immediately it clicked - the words are so appropriate for this week's theme. After viewing the clip, I emailed the Worship Team - sent them the link and the lyrics with chords and messaged them to read the mail.

Well, we met just now for a rehearsal and the song linked well with the rest! Hallelujah! :)

I like the words where they speak of giving God our all and not just a fraction of our lives or time or only when we have some spare moments then we avail ourselves for Him to use us.

I was just sharing with the team that even if we give our all to Him, it pales in comparison what God has given to us or done for us - his death on the cross for our sins and the gift of eternal life for those who believe in Him!

I guess it is the same to answering to the Great Commission Jesus has given to His children. It is not only when we have the time or when we feel like it then we tell others about God. It is about obedient to this command (not a request, mind you) - it is about sharing with others what God has done all the time.

Well, I learnt one thing about sharing God with others all the time - I need to have a living relationship with God daily. If I am constantly learning from the Lord, encountering Him, then it would be a natural thing for me to want to tell others about Jesus. In fact people will see Jesus in my life because of the way I live.

It is a challenge and struggle but it is not impossible. I pray that I will continually grow in the Lord and I am praying this for my siblings-in-Christ too.

I have a lot of things to share concerning this week but I will leave them to another day! Looking forward to the "A Day of Prayer for Missions" tomorrow! :)

Good night, all! Have a restful weekend ahead!

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will — to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding. And he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ, to be put into effect when the times will have reached their fulfillment—to bring all things in heaven and on earth together under one head, even Christ. In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, in order that we, who were the first to hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory. And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession—to the praise of his glory. For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way." Ephesians 1:3-23

God - My GPS

I am actually very tired but I want to jot some thoughts down before I sleep. I just realised it has been a while since I last blog - very busy lately. Praise God for His sustenance all these while. :)

Anyway, it has been a wonderful day spent at the United World College (South East Asia) located along Dover Road. I was there with two dear brothers-in-Christ manning a stall at the school's Christmas Fair selling children's clothings and quilts of a social enterprise - Cheeky Monkey. We also did that on Thursday at the Singapore American Club.

Though sales were not that great but we still thank God for allowing us to sell some items and also giving us chances to tell others of this ministry. It has been great interacting with people of different races, nationalities and religions. I enjoy doing this because it gives me opportunities to speak to strangers and occasionally bringing God into the picture in our conversations.

As much as it was fun, it is also very tiring. Anyway, all thanks and praise to God for allowing me to participate in this area of His work. :)

On our way home after dinner, we happened to drive alongside this van and my God-son's father pointed out the three GPS (Global Positioning System) devices that are installed on the dashboard of that vehicle. We were laughing that the driver probably did not want to get lost or that he has a couple of places to go. It was a funny sight but as we drove on, it dawned upon me that as much as we need a GPS device to point us to the correct way in order to reach our destination, in my Christian journey I also need a GPS to show me the way. That GPS of my life is none other than God Himself.

It is sometimes sad to note that we acquire a device to guide us physically but when it comes to our spiritual journey, we cast aside THE GPS who is the Way, the Truth and the Life!

I am challenged never to push God aside in all areas of my life - be it my thought, word or deed. In life we only need one GPS. Not two or three because once God is enthroned in my life, I know I will always be brought back to the path that leads to life eternal. Of course I may sway to the left and right occasionally because of my sinful nature but my God will bring me back on track! :)

Well, I guess that is the lesson I learnt today.

As I have been telling some friends and also in my Facebook, next week will be a super-busy one for me - I have to carry out my duties as a soldier in a reserved unit of the army; prepare for the 11.15am service I will be leading the following Sunday and also the Worship Team rehearsal on Friday; prepare and print the Missions Ministry Newsletter by Wednesday; prepare and attend the "A Day of Prayer for Missions" next Saturday; and lastly hold a briefing for a mission team going to Cambodia this month and attend another mission team's preparation the following Sunday.

The above schedules look scary but to a certain extent, I am also looking forward to them all. All I need is for the Lord to see me through one day at a time. I need to basically turn on my life's GPS. Haha.

Okie dokes, I shall end here. Time to sleep so that I will be all refreshed for church tomorrow!

Good night, world!

"Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." John 14:6

Make Your Blogs Public

I am blogging now at MacRitchie Reservoir while waiting for the running gang to finish their exercise. I am still nursing my knee and ankle injuries of old - still not able to run which I really yearn to do soon.

Anyway, my tummy has been unwell for the past two days or so. I have been having bouts of diarrhoea. I took some medication - hopefully that will solve the problem.

At the Youth Ministry session this morning, the lesson taught was on "Blogging and Facebook." I was asked to share about how and why I started my blog and in the course of the sharing, it served as an evaluation for me.

I was once again reminded of the objectives. Over the months, my blogging has not been as regular as when I first started - not that the interest is waning but more so, I want to give more thoughts to what I write. I still want to share my pilgrim's journey with people especially in testifying to them of God's goodness in my life as I struggle with life as a human who has his shortcomings and struggles.

Up till now, I still have to say my God has not failed me and He has now seen me through 24 years as a Christian. All thanks and praise to Him for that. I can also confidently say that God will still be walking by my side till the day I die. Amen to that!

To those of you (especially if you are a Christian) who are reading this and have a blog of your own, may I challenge you to make your blog public. Not that you want attention to yourself but more so for others to be drawn to Jesus as you share of His goodness and faithfulness. Whether others believe this Jesus as you do, we will leave it to them to decide as forcing someone to believe in Him will never be the same as he experiencing God himself.

Do not be ashamed to share your struggles (but do watch your words used especially when you are in the midst of one) because life is afterall a journey. Do not just dwell in your struggles though but share also how you intend to deal with them, with God as your help. Then when you have overcome the trials, blog again about it so that others who may be going through the same predicament can learn from you.

I guess this is one way we can make God known to the world without even having to force it down someone's throat. :)

Well, that is what I want to share for today.

I will write again soon. My God-son is back from his walk and I shall entertain him now.

Keeping Passion In Check

My heart is very heavy as I am blogging my thoughts.

Two things which happened this evening reminded me not of myself but others whom many would categorise as "unfortunate"; "not so blest"; "unlucky."

I was supposed to go for a dinner but there was a sudden change of plan where the timing was to be brought forward but I was not too keen of that alternative as I felt it was too early. I suggested cancelling the appointment. Of course I was disappointed as I was looking forward to a great evening of feasting and fellowship.

Anyway, as I was dwelling on that, it reminded me of the people in Cambodia whom I know many are finding it tough to even afford a dinner. In fact, some families may not even have the luxury of at least one meal a day. That led me to not let the cancellation of the evening's plan affect me. Instead I took some time to pray for the Khmers and others in the world who are starving.

Then I got a short message to inform me that a plan which the mission teams were planning to do for the next two Sundays may need a permit from a particular governing authority. As much as I know God will make a way, I was still discouraged.

Sometimes I wish there is an ideal world which I can live in where there is perfect trust in every human being but of course there is no such place, except heaven, because of the fallen nature of man.

Anyway, I am just saddened that while trying to help others in need, there need to be justification of this and that which take time to process. In the course of these all, we sometimes forget the urgency in rendering aid to those suffering, while back here in the land of lesser suffering, we are busy answering queries to the cause.

Well, I also spent time praying about this.

I also learnt another lesson today - to not let my passion for something cause me to sin against God and others.

I have to confess lately I have been feeling that way - I want to do so many things to bless the people around me but when faced with the limitations, it affects me and in turn, I affect others by the way I react.

I need to change this attitude because then I am not trusting God, who is the Provider of all things, to open the floodgates of blessings.

Anyway, these are just some thoughts I have for today.

“I desire to do your will, O my God; your law is within my heart.” Psalm 40:8

"Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom. Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will not be exhausted, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Luke 12:32-34

Our Sole Business Is Soul Business

I do not know why I am having the inertia to blog though I want to. Anyway, rather than not, I will try.

The past one week, my knees are giving me problems. They are painful. The right one is quite bad - it is not just painful but also loose. I am now wearing a knee-guard to alleviate the pain and discomfort. It is actually helping. Praise God. :)

I came back from Cambodia three days ago. I was there for only two-day one night. I basically needed to go to Phnom Penh to bring back some children's clothings to be sold at a fair next week. Thank God I was able to bring quite a bit back.

Other than that, I had a fruitful time catching up with my missionary-friends. It is times like this that I cherish the fellowship as it is difficult to correspond via email. Though the trip was very short (I wish it could have been longer if not for some prior appointments I have made), it gave me the urgency to make full use of every minute. At the end of it all, I thought it was a great time spent! :)

One topic which we spoke about is my desire to go to Cambodia as a tent-maker. I am still praying about it but this trip sort of confirmed my desire. I shall continue to seek God in this in the months to come. It was great to have been given counsel by my missionary-friends. I have noted their points and shall ponder on them.

Well, I was sad to have to leave so soon but I am looking forward to the next trip in December when I go with the Youth Ministry Mission Team. It will be a six-day trip and I think it is going to be a blessed one for all. :)

Lately I have been thinking about this phrase - "Our Sole Business is Soul Business." How true that is if we are called God's children. It gave me the challenge to make that my business. It is my prayer that I will experience God every day to the point that I want to share the joy of knowing Him to the people around me. Whether they choose to believe or not, I cannot force but if they do, then all thanks and praise to God!

It is also my desire that in living out my faith, my life will also challenge my other siblings-in-Christ to see that God can work through us if we allow Him to and if our walk is alive. I have concluded that I cannot be a witness for God if my walk is dead. God has given me life and I think I should live it that way. Not easy but I will try. Haha. :)

Anyway, looking forward to the weekend.

Have a restful weekend, everyone! :)

“It is the LORD your God you must follow, and him you must revere. Keep his commands and obey him; serve him and hold fast to him.” Deuteronomy 13:4

We Are All The Same!

I am actually going to sleep because my cold is still not getting any better but after reading the news articles on the Channel NewsAsia website, I thought I just jot my thoughts down first.

There has been the recent hype on the Miss Singapore World, Ris Low - first for her English proficiency and second for her two-year probation related to a credit-card fraud.

Singaporeans have been making so much hoohah about them that I feel every one is simply HYPOCRITES! Come on, every one, before we pass judgments on others, do not forget that we are no different from those who have been convicted of a crime committed. Just consider ourselves 'lucky' that we are not caught for our wrongdoings, that's all! And please do not tell me you have not committed anything wrong.

Still insistent that you are upright?! Then ask yourselves whether you have committed the followings:-

1) When tearing the carpark coupons, you added a few more minutes to the actual timings you were supposed to reflect;

2) When your carpark coupons have expired, you decided not to add on new ones;

3) When in Malaysia or other parts of the world, you bought pirated DVDs;

4) When online, you downloaded illegal music MP3 or movie files;

5) When the traffic light turned red, you just zoomed passed it;

6) When you decided to wash your car, you used the public taps;

7) When using the public toilets, you decided not to pay the 10 cents or 20 cents required as entrance fee;

8) When in office, you photostated documents for personal usage;

9) When the company supplied stationeries, you brought them home;

10) When someone paid you more in change, you kept quiet instead of returning the extra;

11) When you were supposed to use the pedestrian crossings, you jaywalked;

12) When you were taking an examination, you had a peek or two on someone else's paper;

13) When you boarded the bus, you tapped your card but way before reaching your destination, you tapped again so that you need not pay more;

14) When you have completed your 'O' or 'A' Level examinations, you still used your student-card to enjoy the various concessions;

15) When you knew you were underage to watch certain adult movies, you decided to use someone else's identity card;

16) When you saw something you liked but did not have the money to buy it, you decided to steal;

17) When you were in an aircraft on your way to a holiday destination or when you were in a hotel, you decided to help yourself to the items (towels, hangars, fork and spoon, etc) provided;

18) When you are in the public and your wi-fi function is on and you saw a few unsecured accesses of other people's internet accounts, you decided to tap on one of them;

19) When you knew your maid needed a rest and it was already late, you still insisted that she continues with her work and the following morning, you woke her up very early and the vicious cycle carried on;

20) When you found someone's wallet, you decided to help yourself to the contents in it rather than making an effort to locate the owner with the justification that it is a case of "finder's keepers."

Well, the above-mentioned are just some examples. At least once in our lives, we would have committed a crime except that we were fortunate not to get caught. Are we then different from those who have been caught and charged? WE ARE THE SAME! You might not have been caught but the action you did was as wrong as those who were nabbed. Whether the wrongdoing is big or small, a sin is a sin is a sin!

So please next time when you read a news report similar to that of Ris Low's, do not be too quick to judge and let us say this together, "WE ARE ALL THE SAME!"

As for her English, let us also not be too quick to conclude that her proficiency in the language is bad when ours are no better than hers. All of us also speak broken English. Next time before we comment on someone's language, ask ourselves whether the motive is to correct the usage or simply to criticise. If it is the latter, then please shut up. You are no better, I say again!

Okay, I have released the hot steam in me.

"Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." He also told them this parable: "Can a blind man lead a blind man? Will they not both fall into a pit? A student is not above his teacher, but everyone who is fully trained will be like his teacher. "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,' when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye." Luke 6:37-42

Working Out The Physical And Spiritual Body

Today has been a day of working out. Not in the park, not in the gym, but right in my own home.

After I woke up, I bathed my doggy, Sasha and my birdie, the Peach-Face Lovebird. So far no name after more than a year. We just conveniently called it "Bird-Bird." Anyway, it can be a handful giving these two creatures a bath - one would try to fly away and the other would want to catch it. Then when the furry one got a bath, not only it would get wet but the one bathing it as well. Sometimes I wonder why I ever bothered to take these two as my pets. Haha.

Anyway, after that I washed all the stand-fans in my home; cleaned the air-con filters; removed the dust off the furnitures and electrical appliances; swept the floor; mopped the floor; and swept the floor again! Man, where do all these dust come from?! In all, it was a 4-hour work-out. It felt good but of course tiring.

When I was done with the house-work, I washed up and went to Borders and Kinokuniya Bookstores to check out the photography magazines and also shopped around Wisma Atria, Ngee Ann City and also Suntec City. Yes, up to Marina area as I was lured to the Harvey Norman "Help Clear the Store" sale. Surprisingly I did not buy anything except an Auntie Anne's cinnamon-sugar pretzel while I was on my way to the store.

Oh yah, before all the window-shopping, I detoured to the florist in Thomson Road to drop off the unity candles for a wedding I am coordinating this Saturday. I just wanted to get that over and done with.

Praise God yesterday's worship-leading went pretty okay. Missed one or two notes but such things happen. In the midst of leading the praise and worship, suddenly there was a tinge of sadness when I looked into the eyes of the people in the congregation. I do not know why I felt that way but I sensed something was missing in the worship - that something got to do with the hearts of my brothers and sisters-in-Christ. I felt that many are paying lip service.

I felt a little discouraged but had to go on leading. I was also convicted myself during the time of praise. I was prompted to look deeper into my own worship lifestyle - basically the challenge to spend more time daily to worship God.

After the service I spent some moments talking to a family about missions. I praise God that they are interested to play a bigger part in this area of ministry. :) I just hope more like them will come forward and respond to the Great Commission God has given to all who believe in Him.

I also felt quite burdened for the Youth Ministry Mission Team - after yesterday's session, there would be a break of about 7 weeks as it is exam period for every one in the team. I do not know how the past 11 weeks have prepared these young lives for the trip - not so in the activities we will be doing but the attitude and motive in going. As much as we should enjoy ourselves in preparations and also during the trip, it is my prayer that every team member knows that it is lives that they will be dealing with and how this should not be taken too lightly.

Well, I guess as the mentor to the group, I just have to pray for every single person in the team and trust that God will use these lives to be instruments of peace in where God will be bringing them to.

Anyway, yesterday when I was in the car of one of the MacRitchie Running Fellowship members, on our way to Zion Road Hawker Centre, we witnessed an accident involving a car driven by a lady and a motorcyclist. The left side of the car banged into the motorcycle and the man on it was flung quite far from his bike. He was still moving but could not get up and we could also see the lady-driver walking to the man. There was a shock look on her and by the car, we could see her husband carrying their child.

Myy friend slowed down his car so that every vehicle behind would also do likewise, This is to prevent someone from running over the motorcyclist should he or she is not alert to the accident. Anyway, we did not stop as there were people from the bus-stop rendering assistance. As we drove away, I prayed with every one else in the car for the injured man and the terrified lady.

Well, I guess that is all for this blog. I am quite tired - shall just relax after this. :)

"Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. 24God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth." John 4:23-24

"Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it—he will be blessed in what he does. If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless. Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." James 1:22-27

Have You Noticed The Poor And Oppressed?

The past few days I have been pondering on the sermon outline given to me by my church's assistant pastor on God's compassion for the poor and oppressed. The more I gave thought to this, the more my eyes are opened to the needs of many individuals whom we sometimes fail to notice or, if I may put it truthfully, choose not to notice.

If we do the latter then it would probably mean we have to do something about it. Many times, for the sake of convenience, we would rather ignore than let God's prompting in our hearts to do something good for the poor and oppressed.

This is not just happening when we are walking in the streets, even in church we choose to turn a blind eye to the needs of members and friends.

I am guilty of the above-mentioned and it is something I pray God will help me change my attitude.

I was running around town area looking for candles which I need to buy for a couple whose wedding I am coordinating next week. When I was at Paragon Shopping Centre, I saw an old lady who is a familiar face in that vicinity, walking towards the bus-stop in front of Lucky Plaza after a day of selling packets of tissue papers. She was totally hunched and needed a walking stick to aid her movement. I have seen this lady for more than a year already and there was something on her which I noticed have deteriorated - the lump on her has grown considerably. I suspect it could be cancerous.

I decided to pace her to the bus-stop as there was a road ahead. The thing about her crossing the road is that she never stopped to look at oncoming traffic. She basically just crossed. As I noticed a couple of cars coming her way, I decided to do something which I know may have irked the drivers - I basically became a traffic warden and stopped the vehicles.

I thanked God the drivers were patient enough to let the lady trod slowly to the bus-stop. When she sat down on one of the concrete seats, I asked the lady which bus she was waiting for. She said she needed to take service 7. I looked at the electronic signboard which indicated the estimated time of arrival of buses, I noticed it would take another 7 minutes for that particular bus to arrive. I decided to wait with her.

After a while, the bus came. I assisted the lady as she boarded the bus. As the bus rode away, I prayed for God to have mercy on that aunty especially for that lump on her forehead.

During times when I chose to ignore rather than help, the main reason is that it will be a great hassle for me. If I may challenge myself and all who are reading this blog, let us begin to change our mindset - helping someone usually brings joy and satisfaction because we know a need was met. That was what I experienced today and during those times when I was aware of the needs of the people I come across.

Let us try one person at a time and if that little action can make someone's day. praise the Lord! :) Showing compassion to the poor and oppressed is definitely one responsibility a Christian cannot avoid.

Well, I guess today's encounter should aid me in my worship-leading preparation for Sunday. I have just been informed that the drummer scheduled for this Sunday has to go for an operation and will not be able to play. As much as I know it is alright not to have the drums, I also am struggling for the fact that it will change the dynamics of the songs which I have chosen. Hopefully the coordinator will be able to find a replacement. Even if he cannot, the worship still goes on and prayerfully God will make good of this new arrangement.

Time to end here. :)

"This is what the Sovereign LORD showed me: a basket of ripe fruit. "What do you see, Amos?" he asked. "A basket of ripe fruit," I answered. Then the LORD said to me, "The time is ripe for my people Israel; I will spare them no longer. "In that day," declares the Sovereign LORD, "the songs in the temple will turn to wailing. Many, many bodies—flung everywhere! Silence!" Hear this, you who trample the needy and do away with the poor of the land, saying, "When will the New Moon be over that we may sell grain, and the Sabbath be ended that we may market wheat?" — skimping the measure, boosting the price and cheating with dishonest scales, buying the poor with silver and the needy for a pair of sandals, selling even the sweepings with the wheat. The LORD has sworn by the Pride of Jacob: "I will never forget anything they have done. "Will not the land tremble for this, and all who live in it mourn? The whole land will rise like the Nile; it will be stirred up and then sink like the river of Egypt. "In that day," declares the Sovereign LORD, "I will make the sun go down at noon and darken the earth in broad daylight. I will turn your religious feasts into mourning and all your singing into weeping. I will make all of you wear sackcloth and shave your heads. I will make that time like mourning for an only son and the end of it like a bitter day. "The days are coming," declares the Sovereign LORD, "when I will send a famine through the land — not a famine of food or a thirst for water, but a famine of hearing the words of the LORD. Men will stagger from sea to sea and wander from north to east, searching for the word of the LORD, but they will not find it. "In that day "the lovely young women and strong young men will faint because of thirst. They who swear by the shame of Samaria, or say, 'As surely as your god lives, O Dan,' or, 'As surely as the god of Beersheba lives' — they will fall, never to rise again." Amos 8:1-14

The Fist

The title of today's blog sounds like an upcoming movie involving Jackie Chan but sorry to disappoint all fans of his, it is not. I will elaborate further on this title as I write on.

I had wanted to blog since coming back from the Young Methodist Leaders' Conference (YMLC) on Monday but I could not. It took me two days to recover from the 4-day Conference. Haha. Spiritually I was refreshed but physically I was drained. I was also having a slight flu which thank God by Thursday I was well. :)

After coming back I had to run some errands for the family. I also had to prepare for two dear friends' wedding. Yesterday and the earlier half of today, I had to help at a fair at Loewen Road where two brothers and I had a stall selling children's clothings and quilts from Cheeky Monkey, a social enterprise which we decide to commit ourselves to.

The sale for the whole of yesterday (from 9.30am to 6.00pm) was dismal but still thanks be to God for the four dresses and one quilt sold. Though today's was from 9.30am to 2.00pm, the response from the expat community was overwhelming where 30 dresses and 2 quilts were sold. All glory to God for prompting us to press on and believing that He will send the customers.

In fact one of the brothers and I were considering whether to open the stall today as we were quite discouraged from yesterday's experience but we decided to go ahead and it was something we did not regret since. :)

Towards the middle of the fair this morning, we targetted to sell 30 dresses. Just before closing we sold only 28. We were still happy though. Then as we were packing up and doing stock-check, a lady came and browse the dresses which were still on the rack and guess what? She bought two and that hit the target we set. Hallelujah!

God is indeed good. :)

Anyway, back to the title of the blog. On the second morning of the conference, the youth leaders, Pastors and mentors met for a time of prayer at 6.30am. After a time of praise and short devotion, we were divided into smaller groups and we were challenged to pray for the person on our right based on what the Lord has instilled upon our heart.

The person who interceded for me was a pastor. He said while he was asking God what message He has for me, the pastor was given a vision of a fist. The fist was a sign that I am trying to penetrate into the lives of others; to punch through injustices and struggles of people. When that prayer was said for me, I just broke down as I knew that was what God wanted to confirm in something which I have been wrestling for a few months already - the consideration to serve in the mission field.

Well, I guess I will act upon it with the counsel of some leaders and older siblings-in-Christ of my church and see how God leads me from there.

That morning was such a moment of refreshing for me.

I also had a great time fellowshipping with the group I was mentoring. Though not much time was allocated for longer sharing, I still praise God for allowing me to know 8 new siblings-in-Christ from different churches. I also managed to catch up with a few other siblings-in-Christ whom I already know. I enjoyed a particular one where I had a good chat with a sister about missions.

I am already looking forward to the next YMLC. It is a commitment I have made to be a mentor for three years. Next year would be the last instalment of the three-year cycle.

Well, time for me to stop here and just rest after standing almost throughout the two days at the fair.

Tomorrow is my church's 53rd Anniversary. Looking forward to it already! :)

Find Solace In Places Of Joy And Sorrow

On Monday, my sister and I happened to walk past the Istana Park. I told her that dad used to bring me there when I was a small boy. It was then that there were flashes of the good memories I had. I was also prompted to share this because there seems to be a message God is trying to speak to me which I think may be applicable in the lives of others too. I will try my best to share this as clear as possible.

Now that I am much older, I have to confess my relationship with dad is not as close as before. There were several conflicts I had with him which caused the rift to widen.

Anyway, this morning I decided to visit the park again. I sat where I remembered where dad always brought me to. There used to be a pond but it is no longer there now. We went there often because of Plaza Singapura where Yaohan used to be located in and also Cathay Cinema where almost twice a month dad would bring me to go watch movies.

Now as I reflect on those good times, I missed them a lot.

As I sat on one of the seats, I told the Lord my desire to draw closer to dad again and of course mum and grandma too. I confess that sometimes I find them a burden because I have to take care of all their needs (and it is very tiring) but I also know it is my turn to take up this responsibility as they used to do that when they had to take care of my growing up needs.

Anyway, I shared with God that in the remaining years that my parents and grandma have here, I want to make them as happy as possible. I also jotted down what were some of the causes of our conflicts and submitted them to God - asking Him to make right what went wrong.

The one hour I spent at the park, though not long, brought a lot of healing in me.

I want to share this because I know there are many out there who are experiencing the same struggles with their loved ones. When I walked past the park on Monday, I felt God prompting me to visit all the happy and sad places which I had been to involving my family and to reflect on why we were so happy then and not much now and what are some of the things which are causing us to drift away from each other.

I found solace this morning. Praise the Lord!

The above-mentioned worked for me and I pray it will for you too.

I am blogging this in the library now. I decided to come here to get some work done.

"Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it." Psalm 34:14

Never Be Satisfied

It has been a week since I last blogged. It has been a tiring five days for me as I had to do a couple of things - interestingly, they are all related to the Missions Ministry which I am involved in.

On Monday and Tuesday I was reflecting, evaluating and putting my thoughts into words for a report which I need to write for the last Local Conference - compulsory for all ministry leaders in the church.

Anyway, I shared in my report that I struggle to list out the number of projects and programmes which the ministry has done for the past year. As I have stated before, I always feel that being a church one should not be too engrossed with statistics. The danger comes when we give each other a pat on the shoulders for a job well done and after that we fall into complacency.

Perhaps it is the nature of the ministry I am doing where the committee members do not just deal with administrative matters but issues concerning lives of individuals. This being my fifth year being the chairperson of the ministry, I learnt that the work of missions will never end till Jesus comes again. There are still many lives to be touched and every Christian should continue to be mindful of the people around us so that we can shine God's light so that others may be drawn to us, curious to know who is this God whom we are worshipping.

My conclusion is that the church can do more and every member should be involved in the harvest field where the labourers are always few. Well, my prayer is that God will move more to step out of their comfort zones and be bold to let the love of Christ overflow in their lives to their neighbours. :)

Yesterday I was helping out at a fair where I helped two dear brothers-in-Christ sell children's clothing and bedding items at Lock Road. This is the first time I am involved in such a fair where there were 45 stalls, majority manned by the expat community. Even majority of the customers are expatriates.

Though the hours were long, I enjoyed myself thoroughly especially when I mingled with the children. It was also a good training for me especially in how I interact with my customers and promote the products accurately. At the end of the day, I learnt one precious lesson which I do not know whether it would be an idealistic thing to do in the long run. That lesson was the attitude towards the business - that it is not just for the sake of selling the mechandise and making profits but also to make friends so that the love of Christ is shared to them.

Well, in the next few months there will be a few more fairs which I will be assisting, I shall trust the Lord to lead me accordingly and probably learn more lessons as I go along. :)

After the fair, I had to rush to the Mission Committee's monthly meeting. I was slightly late as I had to grab a bite. As always, I enjoyed the time of fellowship with members of the Committee. It is always wonderful to work with people who have the same heart for a cause we are doing - probably "cause" is not the right word. I guess "calling" would be more accurate since it was a Commission given to all Christians by Jesus Himself.

We deliberate on matters concerning the ministry and we also spent a considerable time praying.

Though it has been exhausting mentally and physically, spiritually I was refreshed. I am glad the weekend is here. I shall try to find some rest.

God is always good! Hallelujah!

"He told them, "The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field." Luke 10:2

Ministry Evaluation

I just received an email from the Church Administrator requesting for all ministry chairpersons to hand in their annual reports by the beginning of next month. Since then I have been reflecting and evaluating on what had happened in the past one year in the ministry which God has entrusted me.

In a recent blog I wrote, it is my prayer for the church that every leader and member do not fall into the trap of playing church by showing statistics that we have accomplish this and that and after that just feel good about it, giving each other a pat on the shoulder and then carry on the same cycle again.

Perhaps it is the nature of my ministry that makes me think of this one thing I want to share - how many of us Christians, regardless of which church we worship in, really live out our lives where others can see Christ in us? I also wonder how many of us see where we are - be it in school, at work, at home, and even in the church (I include the church in because sometimes I do not see love being shown to one another in there) - as a mission field where we are touching lives with the love of Jesus which we have experienced ourselves?

The above questions are precisely something I am pondering in relation to my own church. I am not trying to judge every member who are in the congregation but more so, crying to God that He will use each one to reach one with the kind of lifestyle we embrace.

Well, even for my own life, I am assessing whether I have been a good testimony to Christians and non-Christians alike. For now, all I can say is this - there is room for improvement.

Back to the report, I guess I will begin writing my thoughts down tomorrow and may God lead and guide me accordingly. May His name be glorified!

“I have set the LORD always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.” Psalm 16:8

"They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved." Acts 2:42-47

"You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men. "You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven." Matthew 5:13-16

Jesus Is NOT A Product

I do not know how to start my blog for today because I am going to share about something pretty touchy in Singapore - a main topic brought up by the Prime Minister during his speech at the National Day Rally.

Well, it has been the talk of the town since then - religious harmony in Singapore. A Christian couple were also mentioned by Mr. Lee Hsien Loong for how they have been distributing tracts to people of different faiths and as a result for their insensitive acts, they have been charged and sentenced to imprisonment.

Many times Christians have been targetted by many as ones who are enthusiastic (sometimes overly enthusiastic) in spreading the Good News of Jesus Christ to others.

When it comes to this, I can see two groups of Christians here: one who sincerely want to share with others how God has touched their lives; the other who just want to sell Jesus Christ as if He is a product.

Let me just touch on the first group because in doing so, we can see the futile effort of the other, which usually gives a bad name to Christianity.

In my 24 years as a Christian, I have been in both groups and my conclusion is this - let your lifestyle speak the loudest. Christianity to me is not a religion. Another 'r' comes to mind - it is a relationship between God and me. If I cherish this relationship, whatever God teaches me from the Bible; speaks to me during prayers; spurs me during my fellowship with my siblings-in-Christ, I will surely want to be transformed and not be conformed any longer to the patterns of this world. If I constantly keep in step with Him, surely there will be a marked change in my life.

Then, in my speech and action, people will see the difference - they will see Christ in me. Though I am still work in progress (as I still have my weaknesses and flaws), I have shared Christ to people about my testimony when they asked about my faith and why I embraced it. I will then leave it as that. Once in while I will pray for them and allow the Holy Spirit to touch their lives.

With this, I want to encourage my siblings-in-Christ reading this blog to have a genuine relationship with God. This also serves as a reminder for me. In the process, we do not have to sell Jesus to others but in turn, they will be curious to know who He is and that is when we can testify to them about God's transformational power in our lives. If they so conclude that this God is real, then nothing more need to be said. They themselves will naturally be drawn to Him.

Well, I hope I make sense in what I have written. Let us be people of God who attract and not repel.

"We always thank God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, when we pray for you, because we have heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and of the love you have for all the saints — the faith and love that spring from the hope that is stored up for you in heaven and that you have already heard about in the word of truth, the gospel that has come to you. All over the world this gospel is bearing fruit and growing, just as it has been doing among you since the day you heard it and understood God's grace in all its truth. You learned it from Epaphras, our dear fellow servant, who is a faithful minister of Christ on our behalf, and who also told us of your love in the Spirit. For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding. And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light. For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins." Colossians 1:3-14

Aspire To Inspire Before We Expire

Remember yesterday when I mentioned perhaps the dream where I was running away from the T-Rex was interpreted by me as running away from something? I gave quite a bit of thought to that and there is one thing I am definitely running away from.

That one thing is that of going deep in my fellowship with my siblings-in-Christ and in my interaction with people outside church. This is where I mentioned in my past blogs which showed the introvert side of me.

Though I may be involved in ministries like missions, youth and music where they are very people-oriented, as much as I can I would love to steer clear of interacting much with people. It is very tiring in the first place and it can also be very discouraging when people you are trying to reach out to shut you out completely.

I attended a talk this morning where it dealt with relationships with people. As much as I am discouraged that there is superficiality in today's Christian fellowship, I was reminded and challenged that I should not just dwell in misery but to do something about it.

A statement (paraphrased) by Socrates, the philosopher, opened my eyes yet again, It says, "He who wants to move the world must first move himself." How true that is. Many times Christians want to move the world when they see so many things that need to be transformed but when they are overwhelmed by the immense work to be done, they just talk about them but never act upon them.

In the example I stated above where I mentioned about Christians being superficial - if I want to change that, I have to go deep first myself. As I was praying about it after the talk, I told God that it is not easy for me since I have to drag myself to open up to others but I also told Him that I want to. Someone needs to start no matter how difficult the going may be.

I am praying those who are reading my blog especially the siblings-in-Christ from my church to start living out as a church (where lives are constantly being transformed by being interested in each other's walk) instead of playing church (by merely going through the motion and once in a while giving statistics to show that we have done this and that).

As for being a minister in the market-place, I also need to show others that I am interested in their lives by being real myself. Many in this world (myself included) are wearing a mask as they do not wish people to invade their privacy. As much as I respect that, Christians need to bring the presence of God everywhere they go - to let others know that we are genuine in wanting to know them as who they are and not judge them; to shower God's grace upon them in their struggles.

How long are we going to wait till we allow God to use us to touch the lives of others; or for that matter to let others have a chance touch our lives? Do not wait too long before it is too late. As the blog title states. "Let us aspire to inspire before we expire." Yes we are expiring so let us make good use of our lives as God purposed it for.

Well, these were some thoughts which ran through the whole of today.

"Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching." Hebrews 10:23-25

"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." Colossians 3:12-17

The Tale Of The Dinosaur

These few days I do not know why I tire easily. Yesterday my head felt pretty light when I was on my way home, the same feeling I had a couple of weeks ago. I took my blood pressure and the readings were low but then again when I went to donate my blood just now at around 4.30pm, the doctor who attended to me said my pressure was a little high. Hmmm...

Anyway, I shall monitor the above-mentioned and if I still feel tired and my blood pressure still erratic, I shall go for a medical examination.

My mum went for her medical check-up and scans on Wednesday and today. The doctor said she is improving but I shall take that result with a pinch of salt. That was said in her last check-up and in the end, mum ended up in hospital again.

I still feel mum is weak as she has been sleeping early. In the afternoon she naps quite a bit too. She has been going out which I think is good but I just hope she is watching her diet.

I had a very weird dream two nights ago where in it I was chased by a T-Rex, not in Jurassic Park but in my very home. I was running everywhere and very fast. When I thought I have shaken off the pre-historic monster by hiding behind my fridge, its giant foot caught hold of me from above it. The dream ended there. So weird.

I shall not ask for that dream to be interpreted lest I get some interesting divine message. Haha. I actually gave a thought to it and my interpretation was this - no matter how we try to hide from God, He still knows where we are as He is omnipresent. Am I running away from something? I shall reflect on that and should there be anything, I shall blog it the next time.

I still think of the blog I wrote on "The Consequences of Procrastination." I would love to let it go but it is not easy. It has been a while since matters of the heart have bothered me and when it happens, it means I am serious about it except the part on courage which always let me down.

Every night I pray I ask God to take that burden away but I am still bothered by it.

Anyway, some dreams I guess are meant to be released after one reaches a certain age.

I guess that is all. I shall sleep early as I have a leadership training session to attend tomorrow in church.

Praise God for seeing me through the week. :)

"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:33-34

Plans Down The Drain

This is the worst National Day I have ever had. I missed most part of the event as I was late. I had to wait for the MacRitchie Running Fellowship members to finish their run. In the first place every one started late (run supposed to start at 4.30pm but they only started at 5.15pm) and by the time they completed their route, it was already quite late.

We did not park at the correct location. We were in Shenton Way area which was far from the main show and by the time we tried to walk to the ideal spot, there were already road blocks erected by the authorities.

What I was really disappointed about is the fact that I missed completely the capturing of the fireworks display in photos, the march-past and also taking the pledge with the rest of my fellow Singaporeans. Where was the running gang in the end? Up on the 52nd storey of Capital Tower which did not give us a clear view of the fireworks display! Argh! The club also did not participate in the pledge-taking as every one was busy eating. How sad!

Anyway, I learnt two things from the above-mentioned - one, if ever I want to photograph events like fireworks display, I should do it with only a handful of people who are like-minded - photographers basically. They also must practise the discipline of being punctual as it is not fair to others who are punctual and excited over the event. Two, it is sometimes a blessing not to have a car as it can be a problem especially in finding a suitable place to park. That is why I still do not see the need for me to get a car hence no urgency to get a license. Too bad to those who disagree with me in this.

Well, I thought I could post some nice pictures as I had set all the functions of the camera to its ideal mode in capturing the light-works but I guess I have to wait for another occasion to do so.

Okie, I shall not dwell on this further.

Sleep would be a good thing to do next.

Good night, all. Enjoy another day of holiday tomorrow and have a blessed week ahead!

Consequences Of Procrastination

I am dead tired but I just needed to blog to release something that has been bothering me the whole day.

Sometimes I feel I lack the courage in acting upon something that is close to my heart. Majority generally see me as someone who is confident, outgoing and sometimes outspoken but there is a part in me which I am insecure especially of myself.

Since this is a blog to share about my life's journey, I have to be frank that there are some areas where I have doubts of myself - especially in the area of what others would think of me. Because of this I rationalise a lot and at the end, it may be too late for me to work on what I have been thinking.

Well, at this age that I am at already, I guess there are some pursuits which I should probably give up and be contented with the life I am living now. It is painful but I have to live with some procrastinations I have made in my journey. Please do not get me wrong that it is bad to procrastinate - sometimes it is good not to rush into things but to give ample time of consideration and seeking especially for God's answers to what we are burdened for. Then again, there is also the other extreme where one thinks too much and at the end it becomes too late.

Sorry if I sound vague but that is as much as I would like to share for now.

It is something I am praying God will continue to teach me. As much as I regret not acting upon this particular burden in my heart, I guess it is a lesson learnt which have strengthened my character.

Anyway, it has been a long but enjoyable day for me. Eversince mum fell ill three months ago, I have not had the opportunities to spend time with my God-sons. Today I thank God I had a great time with them - going to Botanic Gardens to feed the fish and swans; had brunch there; then to Island Creamery for ice-cream; it was off to a good friends' home next to visit their baby; after that I went to my God-sons' home to rest; for dinner we went to Changi Village for fish-head curry; and then shopping at the flea market; then back to my God-sons' home again.

I came back only about two hours ago. I am not sleeping yet as I am still doing the laundry which should be done soon.

Well, I guess that is all. Praise God for life's experiences! He allows them to happen to help us learn as we trod this pilgrim's path! :)

Family - God's Gift To Us

I attended a funeral of a dear church member who was one of the few individuals who got me interested in singing when I was a young Christian. I remembered Aunty Daisy coaching me when the church staged a musical, "Friends Forever," in 1989. Her guidance showed me the need/importance to obtain proper vocal coaching should I want to serve in the Music Ministry. I took up a couple of courses and till date I have not regretted going for those trainings as they have aided me in my service as a worship leader, a wedding singer and once in a while a chorister.

It pained my heart to see another individual who has made an impact in my life leave this world but I also rejoice because I know Aunty Daisy is now with the Lord. It won't be long before we meet again because life here on earth is short. I cannot wait to have a reunion with the many who have gone ahead.

As I was sitting behind the sanctuary listening to the testimonies of Aunty Daisy's life by a few individuals, I was prompted by the Lord to reflect on my family that He has given me.

As I was pondering, one thing I have to accept is my family's imperfection because of our sinful nature. Sometimes I wish for an ideal family but I have to admit there is no such thing. I can work on improving the ties but it takes time and effort. I was also reminded of this one word "affirmation" which I shared yesterday with the leader and assistant leader of the Youth Ministry Mission Team.

Evaluating now on the way I carry myself at home, I think there is a lacking in affirming my parents, grandma and brother. Most of the time we fault each other's weaknesses and misdeeds but we hardly affirm our strengths.

Well, I prayed and asked God to give me the desire to do just that - to at least learn to look at the good side of my family members and work on that to bring the ties closer. It won't be easy but with this prompting I received I shall try and keep trying.

It has been an emotional day. I am tired.

"Lord, all the days of my life are in Your hand; use me as You deemed appropriate."

"Lord, you have been our dwelling place throughout all generations. Before the mountains were born or you brought forth the earth and the world, from everlasting to everlasting you are God. You turn men back to dust, saying, "Return to dust, O sons of men." For a thousand years in your sight are like a day that has just gone by, or like a watch in the night. You sweep men away in the sleep of death; they are like the new grass of the morning - though in the morning it springs up new, by evening it is dry and withered. We are consumed by your anger and terrified by your indignation. You have set our iniquities before you, our secret sins in the light of your presence. All our days pass away under your wrath; we finish our years with a moan. The length of our days is seventy years — or eighty, if we have the strength; yet their span is but trouble and sorrow, for they quickly pass, and we fly away. Who knows the power of your anger? For your wrath is as great as the fear that is due you. Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. Relent, O LORD! How long will it be? Have compassion on your servants. Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days. Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us, for as many years as we have seen trouble. May your deeds be shown to your servants, your splendor to their children. May the favor of the Lord our God rest upon us; establish the work of our hands for us — yes, establish the work of our hands." Psalm 90

Live To Die

I had a very good sleep just now. I cannot say it was a nap as I dozed off for more than two hours. I woke up much fresher and alert. The past few days have been trying and draining having again to deal with mum's ill-health and also matters at home. Everything is always linked and when I mention "matters at home" - that means having to calm grandma down and assure her that everything is fine; making sure that dad has enough rest; etc.

I had to get out of the house once in a while as it helps to keep my sanity intact, basically to just be away from the stress I sometimes face at home. I have to confess it can be very straining both mentally and emotionally.

It is not that I am trying to control everything with my own strength. It is just that the human side of me has its limits though I know clearly God is in charge.

I cried out to God again before I slept last night that every one in the family has suffered for the past three months. I pleaded with Him to have mercy on my parents, grandma, brother and me. I requested of God to help carry the load as I could see the strain already on my dad and grandma. My brother and I are feeling it too but being younger, I guess it is easier for us to handle though at times we feel like giving up too.

Since last Sunday, I have come across so many incidents of deaths and friends falling sick: last Sunday, a dear brother-in-Christ's mother passed away because of cancer; yesterday another brother-in-Christ lost his mum to cancer too; today, a member of the Children's Ministry Vacation-With-A-Purpose team had to mourn the passing of her dad, also to cancer. Then last Sunday I was informed of one of my Missions Committee member suffering a stroke while he is in China. Thank God he is back in Singapore for treatment and has been discharged today. Another dear brother-in-Christ, who is a missionary, had to come back for a medical examination due to an infection of his legs. Even the online seller whom I bought my handphone battery and screen protector had to deal with some funeral arrangement at home hence his inability to send out the items I bought on time.

While I was praying for the above persons, I learnt one thing. As much as there is life after death for Christians, I learnt that in our transition here on earth, we basically live to die. Yet many times, many of us (myself included) live as if there is no end here. We are pursuing earthly treasures as if we can store them forever in our barns here on earth but forgetting that we entered this world with nothing and so the same when we depart.

I hope and pray that we will not sell our souls to what is temporal and forget that there are much to live for when in eternity.

Sorry for my reflective mood today but sickness and death always reminds me of the above thoughts. I guess that is one way God speaks to those who are still living.

Anyway, I visited mum this afternoon and am glad she is looking well. Dad got it wrong when he told me yesterday that mum would be transferred to Singapore General Hospital today. What it should have been is that mum will go there for her future medical check-ups after her discharge as her renal specialist is posted there.

I came home early to make sure grandma is okay. I praise God that she is.

Okie, time to sleep again.

Good night, all! Many thanks to those who have been praying for mum. :)

"For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain." Philippians 1:21

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. "The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness! "No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money." Matthew 6:19-24

"And he told them this parable: "The ground of a certain rich man produced a good crop. He thought to himself, 'What shall I do? I have no place to store my crops.' "Then he said, 'This is what I'll do. I will tear down my barns and build bigger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods. And I'll say to myself, "You have plenty of good things laid up for many years. Take life easy; eat, drink and be merry." ' "But God said to him, 'You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?' "This is how it will be with anyone who stores up things for himself but is not rich toward God." Luke 12:16-21

Another Visit To The Hospital

I just came back from the hospital after rushing mum to the Accident and Emergency Department. She ran a temperature of 40.3 degree Celsius; her blood glucose and pressure were high too.

She is now admitted for urinal tract infection and irregular heartbeat. Her condition has been stabilised. Praise God for that.

Since her fall this morning, I sensed something was not right with mum. Every now and then I would check on her. It was at around 3am that she experienced cold sweat and had difficulty urinating. That was when I ran all the tests and the results were bad. As she was too weak to walk, we had to call for the ambulance.

I am tired. I shall try to catch some sleep now.

I covet your prayers should you read this blog. Thank you.

Be Quick To Reconcile

I decided to get out of the house after I had a quarrel with dad. I am just so disappointed with him. Sorry to say this but I am.

When dad and mum were not back from the acupuncture appointment in the late morning, I called them and was told that they were on their way up. I opened the gate and waited for them.

What shocked me next was how I saw mum took a tumble as she lost her balance. Dad while trying to catch her also fell. I ran to them and was glad that there were no visible injuries on them.

As I sensed something amiss regarding mum's health. I had to persistently ask her whether she is okay. What I did not like was the fact that dad kept budging in and said mum is okay. He always says that when in actual fact, I know mum is not right physically. It had happened a few times already and I am beginning to doubt his care-giving ability.

It reached a point when he got a little unreasonable that I asked him to shut up. I just could not take it anymore that he always thinks he is right when most of the time he is not. I am not trying to advocate rudeness against parents but there need a time when I had to put aside respect for the elders and speak some senses into them.

Anyway, took mum's blood glucose and the level was high. I took her blood pressure and it was high too. She was also running a fever. I gave her two paracetamols and after ensuring that she was resting that I left the house.

I am just so fed-up sometimes with the way my family members treat each other. I do not know whether I have shared this before but as much as possible, whenever you have something against another family members be it in a quarrel or misunderstanding, try to clear it up as soon as possible. It may not have to be immediate but when all have calmed down, try to resolve matters. If not, a quarrel will lead to a grudge; a grudge to unforgiveness; unforgiveness to hatred; hatred to the dysfunction of a family.

As much as I do not wish to admit this but my family is going through that even though things are improving since my parents and grandma have become Christians. But being Christians does not mean all our struggles have been overcome because as humans still, there are still past experiences which will be brought to the present when a quarrel happens.

As much as possible, I am praying for my family and other families not to fall into the trap of taking each other for granted. It is just so easy especially towards family members.

I am still in the process of learning how to cope with the struggles in my family. It is just so tiring but I will continue to press on in bringing harmony in the household by being the first to live in peace with one another. Many times I fail but with God's help, I pray my family will one day bear with one another and not be too quick to hurt each other by our words and actions.

I am having a terrible heachache now. I shall end here.

"Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. For, "Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech. He must turn from evil and do good; he must seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayer, but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil." 1 Peter 3:8-12

Illnesses And Death

This whole week I have been down. On Monday I already felt quite weak but thought I could fight the bug by pumping Vitamin Cs. It seemed to work for a moment but towards the evening, it got worse again.

The following afternoon I went to see the doctor and was given some medication. The fever subsided but I felt weak. For the whole of Tuesday and the first half of Wednesday, I was in bed, just resting.

On Wednesday night the Missions Committee had an important meeting. I was contemplating whether to go or not. I actually told my Pastor-in-Charge to chair the meeting on my behalf but in the end I felt well enough to attend.

It was a decision that I did not regret as I gathered a lot of information from this pastor from another church who is very involved in a mission field which my church is interested in adopting. I am unable to disclose the location as yet but it is my prayer and I believe the prayers of those present at the meeting that one day my church will be involved in this land where many are still unreached.

My parents, grandma and uncle left for Genting Highlands that same Wednesday night for a short holiday. They will be home tomorrow and it is my prayer that this trip is doing mum some good to her body. At the same time I am praying she will watch what she eats and drinks and that she is still taking her medication regularly.

Now back to my health again. Last night I had dinner with my sister in Orchard. Just before the meal, I suddenly felt very light-headed. I thought it was due to my hunger so we quickly ate something at a Chinese restaurant. Even after that I did not feel good. I decided to come home early, took some medication and rested. I felt better though my blood pressure was a little on the high side.

This morning, the giddy spell came again. I decided to visit the clinic and the doctor told me I have a mild hypertension which may be due to the fever I had a few days ago. I was given more medication and now as I blog, I am actually feeling much better though once in a while my fingers feel as if there are pins and needles.

I was in church for a while as I needed to practice some songs for the worship session I am leading at The Day of Prayer for Missions session tomorrow afternoon. Thank God all went well and the rehearsal was a brief one.

I guess I shall sleep early tonight. Oh yah, I am saddened by a news I received this evening that one boy from an orphanage that my church is supporting in Cambodia has passed away. Philemon fell off the bed some time last week when he had a convulsion due to meningitis. There was a haemorrhage in his brain, was operated on, placed on life-support machine but still did not pull through. Well, though he is now gone, I know Philemon is with Jesus in a place far better than earth.

I am more concerned for his father who lost his wife just nine months ago and his daughter to the same illness as Philemon's a few years ago. I pray God's peace will still be upon him.

Well, time for me to stop here.

Till the next blog, have a restful weekend! I am praying God will heal me soon! :)

Christians For A Cause

I watched a documentary late last night entitled "Stars for a Cause" by Mediacorp's Channel U. The country featured was China where there were scenes of children not having the luxuries of education, basic hygiene and parental love.

It was timely for me to watch this because yesterday I was complaining about many things: what and where to eat for dinner and when I could not decide on one, my mood changed for the worse; not happy with the way my family members and I behave (always taking each other for granted); angry with the phone bill I received where I had to pay an extra $47.24 because I failed to cancel a mobile line which was given to me free for 12 months and now that the promotion has expired, the telco began charging me for it. On top of that, I realised when I was given a new mobile-phone on my birthday by my sister, I forgot to de-activate an auto data download function where each kilo-byte costs me 1.03 cents which amounted to $28.24; being angry with the wireless@sg service for failing to connect.

I think if the above complaints are mad.e known to the children featured in the programme, they would have concluded how 'lucky' I am for having so many luxuries. They would probably wonder too why is it that I am still complaining when I have such a good life.

I felt ashamed when I pondered on the above-mentioned. I guess those who read this blog would agree that many in Singapore are spoilt and that we complain too much unnecessarily: not liking school or work (where many are uneducated and jobless); not liking their parents (where many are orphans); hate their hairstyles (where many are losing theirs to cancer treatment); not having enough clothes or shoes or make-up or accessories (where many do not even have a piece of cloth to warm their bodies); sanctuary too cold (where many do not even have a church to call their own); church Sunday bulletins too much announcements or fonts not nice (when what is more important is praying for the people involved in the ministries being done); car too small or not of certain luxurious brands (where many have to walk miles to reach a destination); house not big enough or located in a prime area (where many do not even have a roof over their heads; even if they do, they are riddled with holes); not pampered with enough spas, massages, pedicures or medicures (where many are covered with sores because of the lack of hygiene); computers too slow (when many do not even have a pen and paper to write); etc; etc; etc!

The complaints of humans are never-ending.

Sometimes when I ask God to bless my family and I, I wonder whether that is the right thing to do because when I have more, I complain I do not have enough.

I think I need to start counting my blessings and cease complaining. It is also time that I do more for others who are in need than to dwell in my discontentment which many times are uncalled for.

Being a child of God and also very involved in the work of missions, I need to be a Christian for a cause. Only when I learn to bless others will I see how blest I am and stop complaining but be thankful. Frankly I have enough, it is time to give to those who do not have enough.

Before I key off... I just met an elderly church member who happened to step into the church office. I asked her how she is and she said she is not okay. When I heard that answer, my heart sank and became heavy. A prompting came to me that she is not doing well physically. I wanted to pray for her but she needed to rush home as someone is giving her a ride. Perhaps I will do so on Sunday when I see her again. May God bless and keep her for now.

Time to go.

"If anyone teaches false doctrines and does not agree to the sound instruction of our Lord Jesus Christ and to godly teaching, he is conceited and understands nothing. He has an unhealthy interest in controversies and quarrels about words that result in envy, strife, malicious talk, evil suspicions and constant friction between men of corrupt mind, who have been robbed of the truth and who think that godliness is a means to financial gain. But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs. But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses." 1 Timothy 6:3-12

Enjoy And Cherish Life

I am blogging this in StarBucks after spending some time at Borders, reading magazines on cameras and mobile-phones. I was also at the Photography section and was immersed in the numerous books on this topic.

As I was reading on, it got me interested in Wedding Photography and I bought a book on this. Thanks to a brother-in-Christ who gave me a Borders gift-card on my birthday. I got 20% off due to a print-out discount voucher which Borders sent me via email. On top of that I got another 10% off as I am a preferred card member. Upon payment, I was informed that the membership card had expired last month but the staff still gave me the extra discount. Praise God for him!

In the end, I paid a small amount for an expensive book! I cannot wait to read up on the professional tips featured in there and hope this would aid me should I do more wedding photography in future. :)

During this period of break from work, with the main purpose of taking care of mum who is still recuperating, it has also given me opportunities to do other things which I love: doing ministry (especially missions); cooking; reading on topics of interest like photography, weddings, computers, mobile-phones, etc; photography especially macro-photography (I have decided to do this once a week); wedding coordinations (four this year and two in the early part of next year); meeting up with friends.

The above-mentioned reminded me that there is more to life than just working and selling one's soul to the company. Though companies would love to have such staff but one cannot deny that he should also have a life outside work.

Though many will find me crazy, I have decided that when I go back to work again, I would like to opt for a four-day week (I was actually thinking of a three-day work-week) so that I can use the one extra free day to do all of the above interests. I pray my boss will agree to that (even if that would mean a pay-cut). I know I can still deliver though I am working four days less in a month.

I have friends telling me that I should slog first when I am young so that I have a reasonable kitty in my bank to enjoy an early retirement. As much as that sounds logical, I do not really subscribe to the idea as I believe at every stage of one's life, there is something for him to do and enjoy which at other stages, it may not be possible anymore.

One example is one's health. Yes, I can work hard and be a slave to my company when I am younger but who can guarantee me that I will enjoy life when I am older? What happens if I am inflicted with a disease and succumbed to it? Then all the savings I have would come to naught.

Well, I am at peace having made this decision regarding work. I am sure God will provide regardless of whether I am on a four-day or five-day work-week. :)

I did a cook-out for the church office staff on Wednesday, Praise God the laksa dish was cleared in a matter of an hour by 15 persons - 6kg of noodles, two pots (one big and one medium) of gravy, 2kg of prawns, 1kg of cockles, 1kg of bean-sprouts, 8 big fish-cakes, 2 cucumbers, one container of chillies, one container of laksa leaves, 50 fried bean-curds, 20 kuniyaku jellies and one Peranakan layered cake (done by a brother-in-Christ).

Well, all thanks to grandma for teaching me cooking. It is always a joy when I see friends enjoy the dish I cooked. I pray the Lord will continue to teach me more on this so that I can continue to bless others. Haha. :)

I shall end here for now. Got a couple of stuff to prepare.

God is always good!

"I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart; for whether I am in chains or defending and confirming the gospel, all of you share in God's grace with me. God can testify how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus. And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God." Philippians 1:3-11