A Mysterious 2011 Ahead

I am supposed to be at the Watchnight Service as I would usually do on the eve of the new year. This year I have decided to do something different - I'm staying home to do some reflection and to rest.

It may sound boring but on the contrary, I am actually enjoying this quiet time with the Lord - away from the crowd, from all the counting down, from shaking hands with people around and wishing them "Happy New Year!", from staying up late with friends, etc.

The above-mentioned are not wrong - just something I want to break away from, at least for once in my life. :)

A new year dawning. Another year and decade have passed! Sometimes I feel I am trying to catch up with time because it is just flying by so fast. One thing I have decided to do in 2011 is to slow down and spare a thought for myself.

This does not mean I do not care about others - it is just that I need to consider my well-being. The whole of 2010 has been about my parents who had their stroke in the early part of the year, grandma who has been giving the family a lot of inconvenience due to her dementia, and also the ministries I am serving in church - I was planning to release one of my responsibilities but had to stay on for another year because there was no one to fill the empty position.

Yes, all of the above-mentioned are important in my life and I love them all but I need to watch out for myself too. I have to remind myself that I am a human though I am a Christian.

I also need to remind myself that though I am concerned for my parents, grandma and the ministries in church, ultimately it is God who will heal and protect, lead and guide! I simply need to just trust. This year I have been trying to handle all these areas with my own strength.

The other area has got to do with what I want to do next as in my career. I resigned this year from teaching thinking that I could go into full-time ministry - one consideration was to be a missionary. This had to be shelved because of the health issues of the three old folks at home.

I am not disappointed that I could not go ahead with my plan but it is more as to where I should go from here. I cannot remain unemployed for a prolonged period.

One lesson from this is that God has His timing. I guess I just need to let Him make all things beautiful in His time and not mine.

It is going to be an exciting but mysterious 2011 but I shall go through it anyway with Christ above every area of my life. I am also not going to run ahead of Him.

Time to stop here for now! A God-Blessed New Year, everyone!!! :)

“This is what the LORD says— he who made a way through the sea, a path through the mighty waters, “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” Isaiah 43:16, 18-19

Know the GIFT this Christmas!

This may sound weird but I almost could not remember my user name and password to this blogspot. Well, this shows how long I have been absent from blogging and my apologies to those who have faithfully been reading my entries.

As much as I do not want this to happen but the past few months have not been well for me: I have been overwhelmed by the numerous situations which are happening at home - mainly having to deal with grandma who is suffering from dementia and also ensuring that my parents' health are in check; having to deal with the pressing matters concerning the ministries I am serving in church - mainly the missions ministry; I have also been down several times in terms of my health - always catching a cold, etc.

I am not saying that I am any better now. In fact it has reached a stage a few weeks back where I had to ask a few co-workers to pray for me as I was burning out. I just feel very choked up by almost everyone and everything crying out for attention.

Well, the thing about my current situation is that not many people know I am struggling with burning out. As much as I can I do not want to show it for the main reason that I just do not wish to burden others. I know that is wrong hence that day when I had to ask a few people to pray for the current status I am in.

Anyway, I am blogging today because it is the eve of Christmas. It has not been a particular good day for me - just had to deal with grandma who has been calling some relatives up to say that she wants to die and that every one in the family is going against her, etc; before that I had to go back to Vivocity to exchange the 25 photo-frames which I bought in the afternoon as the size was wrong; I was also feeling frustrated during shopping as I do not know what gifts to get for some siblings-in-Christ.

Two questions suddenly popped in my mind - is that what commemorating Christmas is about? What really is the meaning of Christmas?

The simple answer to the second question is this - it is about the birth of the Christ-child. With that leads to the answer of the first question - to commemorate Christmas is simply be still and know that He is God. Not the hustle and bustle that the world has made Christmas to be.

Some might say, "Oh, that would make Christmas so boring and dull." It may be true in the worldly sense but Christmas is about Christ being sent to earth so that He can eventually bring redemption to man's sin by His death on the cross!

If that does not set in my heart and mind, then I have lost the meaning of Christmas. That is probably the reason why I have been so frustrated today! That is also probably the reason why I am in my current burnt-out state because I have lost the whole crux of my relationship with God and also the purpose of my service to Him and His people.

If I am serving simply because I need to get the work over and done with then that is not service at all. I need to treat everything I do as a form of worship to God so that His name will be proclaimed - that the Body of Christ be edified and that those who have yet to know Christ will know Him by the way I live my life and the attitude I have in serving Him and His people.

This fundamental aspect of my walk needs to be there - I have lost it, I confess, but I am trusting God to bring that back so that I can begin to surrender 100% of my life to Him again. When that happens, I can live in peace and leave the worries of my family and ministries completely to my God Almighty.

Christmas isn't Christmas till it happens in my heart. How about yours?

Let us pray that we will hold on to this as we celebrate Jesus' birthday - giving of gifts is secondary; knowing the GIFT is primary!

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13