This may sound weird but I almost could not remember my user name and password to this blogspot. Well, this shows how long I have been absent from blogging and my apologies to those who have faithfully been reading my entries.
As much as I do not want this to happen but the past few months have not been well for me: I have been overwhelmed by the numerous situations which are happening at home - mainly having to deal with grandma who is suffering from dementia and also ensuring that my parents' health are in check; having to deal with the pressing matters concerning the ministries I am serving in church - mainly the missions ministry; I have also been down several times in terms of my health - always catching a cold, etc.
I am not saying that I am any better now. In fact it has reached a stage a few weeks back where I had to ask a few co-workers to pray for me as I was burning out. I just feel very choked up by almost everyone and everything crying out for attention.
Well, the thing about my current situation is that not many people know I am struggling with burning out. As much as I can I do not want to show it for the main reason that I just do not wish to burden others. I know that is wrong hence that day when I had to ask a few people to pray for the current status I am in.
Anyway, I am blogging today because it is the eve of Christmas. It has not been a particular good day for me - just had to deal with grandma who has been calling some relatives up to say that she wants to die and that every one in the family is going against her, etc; before that I had to go back to Vivocity to exchange the 25 photo-frames which I bought in the afternoon as the size was wrong; I was also feeling frustrated during shopping as I do not know what gifts to get for some siblings-in-Christ.
Two questions suddenly popped in my mind - is that what commemorating Christmas is about? What really is the meaning of Christmas?
The simple answer to the second question is this - it is about the birth of the Christ-child. With that leads to the answer of the first question - to commemorate Christmas is simply be still and know that He is God. Not the hustle and bustle that the world has made Christmas to be.
Some might say, "Oh, that would make Christmas so boring and dull." It may be true in the worldly sense but Christmas is about Christ being sent to earth so that He can eventually bring redemption to man's sin by His death on the cross!
If that does not set in my heart and mind, then I have lost the meaning of Christmas. That is probably the reason why I have been so frustrated today! That is also probably the reason why I am in my current burnt-out state because I have lost the whole crux of my relationship with God and also the purpose of my service to Him and His people.
If I am serving simply because I need to get the work over and done with then that is not service at all. I need to treat everything I do as a form of worship to God so that His name will be proclaimed - that the Body of Christ be edified and that those who have yet to know Christ will know Him by the way I live my life and the attitude I have in serving Him and His people.
This fundamental aspect of my walk needs to be there - I have lost it, I confess, but I am trusting God to bring that back so that I can begin to surrender 100% of my life to Him again. When that happens, I can live in peace and leave the worries of my family and ministries completely to my God Almighty.
Christmas isn't Christmas till it happens in my heart. How about yours?
Let us pray that we will hold on to this as we celebrate Jesus' birthday - giving of gifts is secondary; knowing the GIFT is primary!
"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13
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