Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Thy Will Be Done

Later in the late morning I have to be in hospital for another check-up for my stomach ulcer. In a period of two weeks, I have visited the hospital three times: once for the above-mentioned and twice for my jabs. I am too drained to think about it anymore. I will let the Lord's will be done - if He wants me to learn something from all these, I shall seek for His revelation in my life.

Anyway, I am supposed to be working now but have no mood to do so. Hence I thought I blog first.

Today I've been hearing this voice constantly telling me, "Andy, why are you so stupid?" "Why waste time?" There were a lot other questions I heard but I shall leave them as that.

Am I really stupid to do some of the things I am doing? Am I wasting my time and energy? Sometimes I feel I am (especially when disappointments set in - just felt like giving up loving and caring altogether) but I will press on if I know in my heart I am doing them for the sake of someone's well-being or for God's glory.

If I stop, then I have conceded defeat to the devil. He can bark all he wants to stop me from doing things - eventually a barking dog will grow weary. Hopefully he gets the message and shuts up!

I have to confess sometimes I am doing things in my own strength - this is where I am still learning to trust God completely especially at times when I know He wants me to go easy and let Him do the rest.

Lately I feel that my pilgrim's journey has hit a snag. I pray the Lord will lift my spirit and allow me to breathe afresh His Spirit in me.

Alright, I think I should get on with my work. I do not know what the outcome of the medical examinations hold - I am anxious but trying my best to channel the anxieties to God.

Anyway, thanks be to Him for everything!

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:2

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