I just came back from the Worship Team rehearsal. I did not feel right throughout the practice and I was quite bothered by that. I also do not know why suddenly I just could not focus my eyes on God when throughout the week I was looking forward to this day and also on Sunday.
My heart did not feel right physically - felt kind of congested just now during the rehearsal. This morning I woke up with a sharp pain but it subsided as quickly as it appeared.
Well, I guess I just have to pray and trust that God will make all things right by Sunday. I am totally not prepared.
Perhaps it was a spiritual attack. Anyway, I believe God will protect me accordingly.
I went to collect my medical report this afternoon. I will probably be scheduled for a surgery (called laporoscopic treatment) in two weeks' time. It is a keyhole procedure where an incision will be made near or through my belly button. The device inserted will apparently burn the ulcer and it should eradicate the problem once and for all. I hope it will as I am very exhausted having to deal with one health issue to another.
For now I am on H2-Blockers (to reduce acid build-up) and anti-biotics (to destroy the H-pylori bacterium) medications.
The biopsy result confirmed that my ulcer is benign. Praise the Lord for that and for everything mentioned above.
Well, my life is in God's hands - I will let Him do whatever He deems appropriate.
There are a lot of friends asking me not to worry about this and that. Easier said than done especially when it involves people. Yes, there is the avenue of prayer but isn't prayer coming before the Lord with a heavy heart? I cannot help it but to be affected at times. I have submitted everything I could unto God's throne of grace but that does not mean I totally have no feelings whatsoever for the people I am burdened for.
That is why sometimes I wish God could just give me a cold heart but I know deep down He did not create me that way as this is not the image of God. So long as I have a heart, I will continue to feel for everyone I know and love.
I am drained. I feel very punctured today. However I know tomorrow I will be better. My God-sister shared this with me once that when she is not okay today, tomorrow she will be better. It is true because every new day is a brand new start. The Lord will refresh!
The song below brought some peace in my heart. It reminded me that I need to surrender my life to Jesus who is the Lover of my soul.
Jesus, Lover Of My Soul
Verse 1:
Jesus, lover of my soul.
All consuming fire is in Your gaze.
Jesus, I want you to know
I will follow you all my days.
For no one else in history is like you
and history itself belongs to you.
Alpha and Omega, You have loved me
and I will share eternity with You.
Chorus:
It's all about You, Jesus
and all this is for You;
for Your glory and your fame.
It's not about me
as if You should do things my way.
You alone are God
and I surrender to your ways.
"Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:8-10
My heart did not feel right physically - felt kind of congested just now during the rehearsal. This morning I woke up with a sharp pain but it subsided as quickly as it appeared.
Well, I guess I just have to pray and trust that God will make all things right by Sunday. I am totally not prepared.
Perhaps it was a spiritual attack. Anyway, I believe God will protect me accordingly.
I went to collect my medical report this afternoon. I will probably be scheduled for a surgery (called laporoscopic treatment) in two weeks' time. It is a keyhole procedure where an incision will be made near or through my belly button. The device inserted will apparently burn the ulcer and it should eradicate the problem once and for all. I hope it will as I am very exhausted having to deal with one health issue to another.
For now I am on H2-Blockers (to reduce acid build-up) and anti-biotics (to destroy the H-pylori bacterium) medications.
The biopsy result confirmed that my ulcer is benign. Praise the Lord for that and for everything mentioned above.
Well, my life is in God's hands - I will let Him do whatever He deems appropriate.
There are a lot of friends asking me not to worry about this and that. Easier said than done especially when it involves people. Yes, there is the avenue of prayer but isn't prayer coming before the Lord with a heavy heart? I cannot help it but to be affected at times. I have submitted everything I could unto God's throne of grace but that does not mean I totally have no feelings whatsoever for the people I am burdened for.
That is why sometimes I wish God could just give me a cold heart but I know deep down He did not create me that way as this is not the image of God. So long as I have a heart, I will continue to feel for everyone I know and love.
I am drained. I feel very punctured today. However I know tomorrow I will be better. My God-sister shared this with me once that when she is not okay today, tomorrow she will be better. It is true because every new day is a brand new start. The Lord will refresh!
The song below brought some peace in my heart. It reminded me that I need to surrender my life to Jesus who is the Lover of my soul.
Jesus, Lover Of My Soul
Verse 1:
Jesus, lover of my soul.
All consuming fire is in Your gaze.
Jesus, I want you to know
I will follow you all my days.
For no one else in history is like you
and history itself belongs to you.
Alpha and Omega, You have loved me
and I will share eternity with You.
Chorus:
It's all about You, Jesus
and all this is for You;
for Your glory and your fame.
It's not about me
as if You should do things my way.
You alone are God
and I surrender to your ways.
"Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:8-10
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