Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Build Up; Not Tear Down

I was at the rooftop of my office spending time with the Lord reading His Word and praying. I needed God to speak to me during this time of anxieties over my health and also one other issue.

Since I started blogging last year I struggle as to how much to share about my life to whoever is reading it. Some stuff I still keep them private but I try my very best to share as much as I can. Some friends did tell me it is tough to share private stuff publicly. It is true but it is not impossible.

Early this morning in my last blog, I shared about times when I feel like giving up loving and caring for people. I will still love and care regardless of how difficult the process may be but it is definitely not an easy thing to do - probably because we are all humans.

I have been discouraged lately because it occurred to me how fragile a friendship or relationship can be. I have also concluded that the best test of how strong a bond between two persons is is during times of crisis. But it is also during these times of struggles and trials that a bond can be strengthened - it is my prayer that this will happen rather than the opposite.

It really hurts when I know someone is struggling and when I try to help or be there for the person, I got shut out. It is even more painful especially when I have come to the realisation that I am now insignificant in that person's life.

I thank God for teaching me more about friendship and relationship. Till the day I die, there will always be these two elements in my pilgrim's journey and I pray God will train me to be a better and effective friend to another. Sometimes I will fail because of my shortcomings but I pray my friends will bear with me.

Well, I will continue to be a friend to another. Again I was reminded that when I give, do not expect to receive something in return because when it does not happen, I will feel discouraged or short-changed. It is tough to live by this radical attitude because as humans we always want something in return.

I guess returning gratitude and showing appreciation to another friend is important but it has to come from the receiver's free-will to do so and not the giver always expecting it.

For me, I always tell myself this (I am not saying I have fully grasp this - if not I would not have shared the pain and hurts I am going through now) - if I am doing this for God's glory and for the love I have for my friend, that is more than enough. If my friend appreciates what I do for him or her, then that is an added bonus.

I have to also remember that one day I may be on the receiving end when someone is encouraging me when I am down. Will I want to treat my friend the way I do not want others to treat me?

The Golden Rule, I guess - "Do to others as you would have them do to you." Luke 6:31

I praise the Lord that there are some friends standing by my side now as I struggle with my health again. I thank God for providing them to me during this time when I know I cannot go through it alone.

Well, time to leave for home. Shall rest for a while before I head for the hospital.

"Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." Ecclesiastes 4:12

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