The past one month or so has been a learning process for me. I did not see this situation coming but now that I am in it, I will have to learn and in the hard way, I must say. But while doing so I still made mistakes and have in the process disappointed a few people especially my loved ones since they are the closest to me. For that I am sorry to those whom I have hurt.
I do not mean to disappoint them - it is just that I was trying my best to salvage whatever damages I have made though it was not my intention for these to happen. All these while I just wanted to be there for my loved ones for the simple fact that I love them. I have learnt from this episode though that not all the time they want me to be there for them.
Now that I have gathered my thoughts after much personal reflection and evaluation, and receiving counsel from some siblings-in-Christ, I will act on them for the sake of those involved and myself. I pray in doing so, the relationship broken will one day be restored. :)
I am reminded yet again that dealing with relationships is a delicate matter. One moment you may think that a strong bond has been built over time but due to circumstances, the whole thing may just crumble in an instance. It is a blow but I have learnt not to take my loved ones for granted and accept them as who they are in the present journey they are going through.
This period has also taught me that not all the time, people want to listen to my concerns or opinions despite of how much I am burdened for them. They probably want to venture into the unknown on their own. Though I may see the dangers ahead but if they so choose to still not take heed after my concerns have been shared, then I will have to let them go and let God take over. He knows best and if I truly say I trust Him, then I should take comfort that He will do what is best for His children whom He loves. :)
I have to deliberately tell myself to give my loved ones space. In front of my computer table, I have to write post-its like "Do not message so and so. Give so and so space."; "Give thanks to God for so and so"; "Remember to pray for so and so." All these have helped me restrain myself from taking things into my own hands again but simply be a prayer warrior for them.
Being a human, there will be tendencies when negative thoughts are planted in my mind against my loved ones. I used to entertain them and even air them on FaceBook and all but I have come to terms that all these do more damage than help. I hope it is not too late realising this mistake. Now when such thoughts come, I will just pray against them and ask God to help me see these persons as He would. When I do that, disappointments, frustrations, resentments towards them simply just disappear.
I also make an effort to jot down good attributes which I know of my loved ones in my phone. In doing so I realise their weaknesses/shortcomings do not matter anymore and it helps me to give thanks to God for them. :)
I wrote this in my previous blogs before and I will write again here... I must always be mindful that the devil will use the people closest to me to affect me but I have to tell myself time and time again that they are not my enemies. By doing so, I will always say a prayer of protection on them and myself so that we do not fall into the trap of the evil one by seeing wrongly who the real enemy is.
In closing, I used to ask God why is He making me go through all these but now, I am learning to ask what is His will for me in this and what I can learn from here.
It is not an easy journey for me to trod but I still have to go through the process. Hopefully this will mould me to be a better person and that my life will still be a blessing to the people around me.
I do not mean to disappoint them - it is just that I was trying my best to salvage whatever damages I have made though it was not my intention for these to happen. All these while I just wanted to be there for my loved ones for the simple fact that I love them. I have learnt from this episode though that not all the time they want me to be there for them.
Now that I have gathered my thoughts after much personal reflection and evaluation, and receiving counsel from some siblings-in-Christ, I will act on them for the sake of those involved and myself. I pray in doing so, the relationship broken will one day be restored. :)
I am reminded yet again that dealing with relationships is a delicate matter. One moment you may think that a strong bond has been built over time but due to circumstances, the whole thing may just crumble in an instance. It is a blow but I have learnt not to take my loved ones for granted and accept them as who they are in the present journey they are going through.
This period has also taught me that not all the time, people want to listen to my concerns or opinions despite of how much I am burdened for them. They probably want to venture into the unknown on their own. Though I may see the dangers ahead but if they so choose to still not take heed after my concerns have been shared, then I will have to let them go and let God take over. He knows best and if I truly say I trust Him, then I should take comfort that He will do what is best for His children whom He loves. :)
I have to deliberately tell myself to give my loved ones space. In front of my computer table, I have to write post-its like "Do not message so and so. Give so and so space."; "Give thanks to God for so and so"; "Remember to pray for so and so." All these have helped me restrain myself from taking things into my own hands again but simply be a prayer warrior for them.
Being a human, there will be tendencies when negative thoughts are planted in my mind against my loved ones. I used to entertain them and even air them on FaceBook and all but I have come to terms that all these do more damage than help. I hope it is not too late realising this mistake. Now when such thoughts come, I will just pray against them and ask God to help me see these persons as He would. When I do that, disappointments, frustrations, resentments towards them simply just disappear.
I also make an effort to jot down good attributes which I know of my loved ones in my phone. In doing so I realise their weaknesses/shortcomings do not matter anymore and it helps me to give thanks to God for them. :)
I wrote this in my previous blogs before and I will write again here... I must always be mindful that the devil will use the people closest to me to affect me but I have to tell myself time and time again that they are not my enemies. By doing so, I will always say a prayer of protection on them and myself so that we do not fall into the trap of the evil one by seeing wrongly who the real enemy is.
In closing, I used to ask God why is He making me go through all these but now, I am learning to ask what is His will for me in this and what I can learn from here.
It is not an easy journey for me to trod but I still have to go through the process. Hopefully this will mould me to be a better person and that my life will still be a blessing to the people around me.
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