Sunday, July 24, 2011

Pain Persists But Prayer I Insist

Chest oh chest, I feel you.
The funny sensation makes me ill.
It could be a signal for something grave.
Healing from God I ask and pray.
May His mercy be upon me.
Grateful always will I be.
Pray for me, oh fellow men,
I now end with an "amen."

The whole day my chest has been feeling uncomfortable. It has been so since last night when I was awoken from my sleep and since then it has persisted.

It was at its worst when I was at the missions training session. I basically prayed against the pain and took the medication. It felt slightly better.

I shall monitor the situation and see how. If it is still not well by tomorrow, I will see the doctor. I am actually due for a review next week. If I can persevere till then, it would be good.

I am quite puzzled as to why the discomfort is there when I have gone through the medical examinations and was told my heart is okay.

Seriously I do not know why lately I have been inflicted with so much pain - physical, emotional and mental. As mentioned in my previous blog, I have stopped asking God why. Instead I am still seeking for His will in this.

Though I am doing that, I cannot deny that sometimes I want instant answers but I am not receiving any. There were moments when I asked God to just take my life away as I cannot take it anymore. Well, that did not happen so what can I do? I guess I can only keep seeking but perhaps with an attitude of waiting upon the Lord.

I have learnt lately that the pilgrim's journey is not just about going on and on till we reach the end. There will be moments when I have to stop and take stock. I guess I am going through that now.

Anyway, last night I wrote to my pastor and informed her that I have decided to decline an offer to assume a leadership position for the next church year. I told her I basically need a break - maybe for a year and see how. I love serving God and His people but there are seasons when perhaps I should just rest.

I am also considering an option where I am still seeking the Lord in and obtaining counsel from some siblings-in-Christ. I will not share now but when I am more certain, I will blog about it. All I can say is that it would be a drastic move but I think it may do me good.

Well, I will end here. I do not know how the week is going to be but I shall try to look forward to it.

Be still I will be before my God
His wise counsel to be sought
Answers in His time will be conveyed
I simply pray I will obey

"Therefore, since the promise of entering his rest still stands, let us be careful that none of you be found to have fallen short of it." Hebrews 4:1

"Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has ascended into heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." Hebrews 4:14-16

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