This morning when I woke up, I decided to go for a walk. I headed for the park and basically spent about an hour just walking and talking to God. I needed to commit to Him certain questions and burdens I have. I used to keep everything within me and there came a point where I simply cannot handle them anymore.
As much I do share with some closer siblings-in-Christ about my struggles or certain thoughts I am reflecting, I realised it is easier to talk to God because I do not really need to explain myself to Him as He already knows my thoughts and motives.
I also have the assurance that I will not be misunderstood because there is no way for me to hide anything from Him as He knows even my innermost thoughts. It is as simple as just pouring out my woes and concerns (for others and myself) to Him and just take heart that He has heard my cries and is already in the process of answering my prayers.
That said, please do not misunderstand that those whom I confide in are always misunderstanding me. It is just that sometimes it is difficult for them to understand where I am coming from and there were moments where I do not know how else to explain to them especially in issues which seem to be out of the ordinary. I really appreciate them being there for me and their inputs do give me insights to what I am struggling with.
It is basically very tiring on my part but I need to try my best to be as clear to them as possible. To me, being accountable to some of my spiritual family members is important. I also know God can speak through them especially those who understand the issues I am battling with.
As much I do share with some closer siblings-in-Christ about my struggles or certain thoughts I am reflecting, I realised it is easier to talk to God because I do not really need to explain myself to Him as He already knows my thoughts and motives.
I also have the assurance that I will not be misunderstood because there is no way for me to hide anything from Him as He knows even my innermost thoughts. It is as simple as just pouring out my woes and concerns (for others and myself) to Him and just take heart that He has heard my cries and is already in the process of answering my prayers.
That said, please do not misunderstand that those whom I confide in are always misunderstanding me. It is just that sometimes it is difficult for them to understand where I am coming from and there were moments where I do not know how else to explain to them especially in issues which seem to be out of the ordinary. I really appreciate them being there for me and their inputs do give me insights to what I am struggling with.
It is basically very tiring on my part but I need to try my best to be as clear to them as possible. To me, being accountable to some of my spiritual family members is important. I also know God can speak through them especially those who understand the issues I am battling with.
I still do not have answers to the many questions I have but this is the hope I am placing in God that one day He will reveal them to me.
Anyway, I have been informed just now that an acquaintance has committed suicide just a few days ago. It was apparently due to depression. Sigh. May God be with the family during this difficult period. :(
I shall go have my lunch now.
"You have searched me, LORD, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, LORD, know it completely. You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain. Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand — when I awake, I am still with you." Psalm 139:1-18
Anyway, I have been informed just now that an acquaintance has committed suicide just a few days ago. It was apparently due to depression. Sigh. May God be with the family during this difficult period. :(
I shall go have my lunch now.
"You have searched me, LORD, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, LORD, know it completely. You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain. Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand — when I awake, I am still with you." Psalm 139:1-18
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