Just Focus On The ONE!

I just finished all the paperwork for grandma's transfer to the Tan Tock Seng-Ren Ci hospital. She is there now for her rehabilitation programme which will probably take a month or so. Intensive physio-therapy sessions will also be carried out. I pray all these will aid grandma in the recovery process and that she will be able to walk again in no time! :)

I am spending some time now in the Coffee Bean outlet located at Millennia Walk. I decided to take some moment to be on my own and reflect on the year which has been tumultus but thanks be to God for pulling me through it.

Just the other day when I was feeling super-stretched having to take care of grandma and mum's hospitalisation and dealing with dad who is not taking responsibility in consuming his medication regularly, I told the Lord what a lousy year it has been.

That was my conclusion initially. It cannot be good when all these unpleasant events were experienced throughout the course of this year - at the beginning of 2011 I decided to take a break from work so as to pursue my desire to serve in the mission field but with my parents' ill-health and grandma's dementia, I had to shelf the idea.

Then came the stomach ulcers which I had to battle with. They were so painful that sometimes I could not even do or eat anything. They became so bad that I had to undergo a surgery to have a nerve removed and the ulcers patched up.

I had to also deal with issues involving my relationships with two individuals - one of them being very dear to me. It sometimes made me wonder whether it is worth it at all to invest so much of my time and effort in their lives when what I get in return is misunderstandings. Instead of fostering a closer bond, now a rift has formed and I do not know whether it would ever be mended. I am still praying daily that it would but that is all I can do for now. I have done whatever I could but situations remain as they are. One thing I learnt is this - as much as I love and care for these individuals, I realised at the end of the day, it is their lives and they are free to choose how to live them though I have sounded off my concerns. I have also learnt to be more tactful in sharing my burdens for them.

All these took a toll on me physically, emotionally and mentally. With the advice of some friends, I decided to go on a personal retreat to The Netherlands and that was a refreshing one for me - being away from the cares of this world and just spent time with God and on my own. I am grateful to two dear siblings-in-Christ's hospitality when I was there and also for their counsel.

Just when I thought the worse is over, it was not. Grandma was hospitalised when I was in the United Kingdom. She was admitted after having fainted at home. She was discharged a few days later after being nursed back to health. The reason for her fainting spell was related to her dementia where sometimes she forgot to eat. This led to her feeling weak and also having a Vitamin B12 deficiency which affected her memory power.

I thought the month of December would be a quiet one for me to prepare myself to go back to my teaching profession but again it was not to be. On the first day of the mission trip to Cambodia, grandma complained of an excruciating pain on the hip. She was rushed to the hospital and the doctors found out that she had a hip fracture after a x-ray was done. She sustained it when she had a fall at the market. She did not inform anyone about it and I only noticed her limp on the day when I was about to fly off to Cambodia. That same night she was admitted.

To add to my stress and anxiety, three days later, my brother message to inform me that mum was also admitted. She was down with Urinal Tract Infection and her blood glucose level was very high. I was on the verge of cutting short the mission trip so as to go back to help my brother but he told me to concentrate on my work with the mission team.

When I arrived home, I realised no decision was taken regarding grandma's fracture and it has already been more than a week. What angered me was the part where my cousins were not in favour of an operation, citing the reason that it may not be cost-effective due to grandma's old age.

When is it that age should be the deciding factor as to whether one deserves an operation or for that matter to live or die? EVERYONE deserves the right to live a good quality of life regardless of age! I told everybody off and reminded them that she is our grandmother and a human who deserves all the right to have her fracture rectified.

The most baffling thing is that the specialist has even recommended surgery after observing that grandma is fit to undergo the procedure despite of her old age.

Then when the day of surgery came, it had to be postponed because of diaper rash and urine infection. This added to everyone's concerns and stress level. Last week it reached a peak where it affected the mood of every member at home. Mum and dad quarreled. It did not help that my brother heard about it and decided to handle the squabble. I had to rush home to be the mediator.

When everything had calmed down, I just retreated and went somewhere to cry out to God for His intervention in all the above-mentioned. I felt very frustrated not being able to help grandma, my parents and my brother. I told the Lord I was at my wit's end.

If I had just concentrated on all the negative events above, then of course, the year is truly a nightmare. Then came these past few days when I decided to focus on the good part of the year and there were many too.

First of all, I get to rest from work and the fact that I am not working, I am able to handle all that had happened at home. It would have been more exhausting if I had to work and at the same time take care of the matters concerning home.

Though I am unable to serve as a missionary, I was able to focus on the Missions Committee which I was still chairing in the first 9 months of the year. I was also able to serve in the Youth Ministry which is another area of ministry dear to me.

Being able to go for a surgery to rectify my stomach ulcers was also something good though I had to go through the initial painful process. Now that it is over, I am free from the pain and the chances of having a recurrence are low.

The trips to The Netherlands, United Kingdom and Cambodia were also very refreshing for me. I cherished every moment especially marveling at the wonderful creation of God in other parts of the world.

I am also grateful to God for allowing me to enjoy an alternative sport which is cycling. Because of past injuries, I am unable to run or play any contact sports but when I participated in the Charity Bike 'n' Blade as a photographer, I was introduced to the world of cycling. I also made a lot of new friends from the event.

A dear friend, whom I got to know from the cycling trip, and I decided to check out some racing bikes when we came back. Each of us bought a bike after having visited several shops and we have been cycling since. It is a sport I now enjoy thoroughly because it has helped me do some exercise and I have lost a considerable amount of weight since. :)

I also praise God for allowing me to know friends like the one I mentioned in the above paragraph. Though it has just been a few months, I am glad that we have got to know each other better through the cycling sessions and also over meals and other leisure activities.

I have also joined three cycling groups - The Fellowship of the Ride, The Love Cycling Singapore and also The Christ Methodist Church Cycling Club! Though I only know most of them for a couple of months, some of them have already touched my life by praying for me during this difficult period.

That said, I am really thankful to God for giving me friends who have been there for me. They went the extra mile to ask for my prayer needs. Some even messaged me daily to ask how I am. Some even spent time with me over meals. They have indeed been a blessing and I will always remember their love and care forever.

I have to admit that if it were not for them, I would not have been able to pull through this period! God knows I am unable to handle matters on my own and He graciously provided these precious individuals to help me share the load! They have my promise that I will be there for them in their times of struggle. In helping one another, our journey here on earth is made easier to trod. :)

So is it still a lousy year? Nah! It is a matter of perspective. If I focus on the WHOM (God, that is), every trouble pales in comparison because my God is great and nothing is too big for Him to handle especially when it involves His children.

That said, my struggles will still be there but going into the new year, I will fix my eyes on Him and Him alone. Soon, all will come to pass and there will be many more years (whatever that is left) for me to look forward to. :)

If you think I am going to share my resolutions next... well, nope. I will save them for another day. :)

To God be the glory for 2011! :)

"Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever." Psalm 107:1

Trusting My God Who Holds The Future

I just finished a couple of housework. I did the laundry, swept the floor and ironed a mountain of clothes from the previous wash. I was initially hesitant to do them all as I was tired after coming back from a day of outing with the youths from my church to Sentosa.

Anyway, my approach to doing work is this - why procrastinate and suffer? I might as well just complete them now and enjoy myself after that.

That said, housework is done and I can now sit in the comfort of my room and blog some thoughts.

It has been a tough week as my brother and I have been trying to prepare grandma for her physio-therapy sessions which commenced on Tuesday. She was unable to stand on Tuesday but yesterday she was able to do so for a while. She was also able to sit on the chair. To me, that is progress as she had been bedridden since the first day of hospitalisation.

Though she is complaining that the operated area is still painful and uncomfortable, she is able to move that leg on her own without the aid of the nurses or any of the family members.

She is also less dependent on painkillers and anti-depressant medication. Her sun-down dementia does not seem to deteriorate. Praise God for that as well.

All the above-mentioned look positive but I must say that going through them is not easy. I am tired physically, mentally and emotionally. On top of that, I have to take care of mum and dad. I am glad that mum is recovering well though she is feeling a little restless at home.

There are still a couple of outstanding matters which I need to look into: one is to look for a community hospital for grandma. This is to allow her to do her physio-therapy and also to recuperate. I also need to look for a domestic helper which proves to be quite a headache. I prefer one from Indonesia because of the language as grandma speaks Malay but then they are quite expensive and limited. I am also considering helpers of other nationalities and this is where I am praying for God to give me discernment and wisdom in my decision-making.

Anyway, these are some inconveniences I have to go through but they will all come to pass soon.

During this period, it is easy for me to be engrossed in dealing with home matters but when I was spending time praying some time last week, I was reminded to go easy and do other activities away from home so as to keep my sanity as well as to just be refreshed from time to time.

Well, last week I did just that - meeting a dear friend to have dinners, watch a movie, do a little shopping and also cycling. I basically enjoyed the time with her.

I was so happy when I cycled for about 60km on Monday. I have not done it for close to a month already. My friend and I cycled all the way to Dempsey Road where we had our breakfast at Jones the Grocer. We then checked out a few new restaurants in the vicinity. Next was to cycle along Orchard Road before heading to StarBucks at The Playground in East Coast Park for a coffee break. We also took the time to read the papers and magazines provided by the cafe. After drinking our Macchiato and reading, we cycled some more before calling a day by having lunch at this restaurant called Claypot Fun at The Playground. The food, recommended by my friend, was good!!! :) We ate and chatted about our friends' kids as in how cute they are but also acknowledging the difficulty of parenthood.

Well, I am already looking forward to the next cycling session but I am not sure when as yet.

Oh yah, I received an email just now and it was about my terms of employment. I realised that I am only due back office on 9 January 2012 and not 3 January. It was a pleasant news as that would give me more time to deal with home matters and also to take that period to rest. Praise God for that!

Before I key off, I want to share that I do not know what the future holds in terms of the physical well-being of grandma and my parents but one thing I know is that they are all in the good hands of my Father in heaven. I am reminding myself that there is no point to worry so much about things I cannot predict but to put my hope on the One who holds the future and the One who has been faithful and good in my life. He has seen me through many difficult times in my life and He will continue to do so. That is why I am thankful to Him for even the littlest thing because He is a God who cares about everything.

To Him be the glory! :)

It Will Come To Pass!

I was happy when the doctor informed me that grandma is fit for surgery and one has been scheduled for her tomorrow. Her condition has taken a toll not just on her but the family as well.

Yesterday I think every one reached the peak of their frustration. Grandma was very grouchy when I visited her in the hospital. She kept insisting on going home. It did not help that my brother called me to say that mum and dad were quarreling and that he was going home to handle the matter. Knowing my brother's temper, I decided to rush home just so that he is kept in check. Well, every one was edgy and sometimes I feel very helpless, not knowing how else to tell them that things will get better no matter how bad we see the situation as at that point of our frustration.

Anyway, I prayed while I was in the taxi. Thank God that by night-time, every one has cooled down. I was very stressed the whole of yesterday. It did not help that dad has not been taking good care of himself too - not taking his diabetes medication regularly and always not happy when being advised to watch his health.

While I was praying, I sensed God telling me that all these will come to pass and I rested in that assurance. I am also thankful to three persons praying for me - my dear sister, pastor and a staff in my church.

Well, this morning everything did turn out to be much better. Mum and dad are in talking terms again. Grandma was in a good mood and she was able to eat most of her lunch. Then the news that she can go for her operation.

Just now while praying for the surgery and in my prayer requests sent to the church prayer network, I pleaded with God to let grandma walk again after her operation. She has always been active and knowing that she wants to be able to walk again, I just felt that I needed to ask God for this special request. As a grandson, I cannot make her walk. I can only do what I can by agreeing to the surgery just so that she have some chances of walking but ultimately it is God who can do the impossible. Hence, this is my cry. I know He has heard me.

This evening I was planning to go cycling with a dear friend but as the weather was overcast, we decided to watch a movie but that also did not happen as the tickets were sold out. In the end we settled to do some window-shopping and have dinner together at Sakuraya.

Well, we ordered our favourite sword-fish sashimi. We also had salmon sashimi, tori karagge and also a bowl of mixed sashimi don. And of course we had our Calpis drink... we tried the grape flavoured one and it was not bad. I almost forgot about it until my friend reminded me about it. :)

During shopping we actually had some things we needed to buy but we shelved them till after dinner but by the time we finished our meal, the shop where we were supposed to buy some papers has closed; the standing fan which I was supposed to buy was out of stock. My friend wanted to buy a pair of Fit-Flops but they are more expensive in the shop compared to that sold in Amazon.com. She decided to order online.

It was a great evening. A great day in general. Praise the Lord!

It Is Worth It!

There are many times in my life when I just feel like giving up showing love and care for the people close to my heart. Today is one of those many times. I was just wondering to myself earlier why should I even bother!

I love. Therefore I care. I care. Therefore I advice. What do I get in return? An individual full of pride and arrogance. Why must I turn out to be the bad guy when all these while, the intention was meant for the good and benefit of the person so dear to me?

I seriously do not understand why it is so difficult for a person to swallow his pride and accept the counsel of others?

I am basically very frustrated and exhausted! Something happened at home this morning which led to all the above-mentioned. It basically caused me to reflect on whether it was all worth it.

This year there have been so many setbacks I have faced pertaining to loving and caring for certain individuals. I have tried to be there for one individual and suddenly one day that person gave me the cold shoulder.

A loved one whom I cherish a lot is now so distant that we are like strangers now. All the effort I have put in all these years seem to have gone down the drain.

Why is it that sometimes those who care for someone becomes that person's enemies when those who do not really care are still his or her friends? It may sound like an unfair statement but that is what I feel sometimes.

Back on my reflection on whether it was all worth it. My answer is yes because in the eyes of God, everyone is worth dying for, hence Jesus' death on the cross for man's sin. If that is how God sees every individual, then who am I to see them otherwise?

I must remind myself this though - I can love. I can care. I can advice. But that is how far I can go and much I can give. It is up to the person to decide whether to receive my love, care and counsel. If he or she does not, so be it. I have done as much as I can but do I stop there? No.

I will now have to commit these individuals to God and let Him guide them along. The worst thing ever as a friend to someone else is to give up on him or her. It is easy for me to say but many times tough to practice but I will press on. I just hope I am not a friend who fails.

Anyway, another appliance broke down this morning. The fan in the hall overheated and the motor is burnt. I will need to go buy a new one after I jot these thoughts down. I wonder what is the next thing which will be break down.

I shall key off here. I just needed to release my frustration by blogging the above thoughts.

Love God. Live Life. Take Risk

This morning I woke up sniffing a little. I guess it has been the lack of rest since the start of the mission trip till now when after being back here I still cannot rest as I need to handle the health matters of grandma and mum.

It does not help that one thing happens after another. Grandma was scheduled for surgery yesterday but it was postponed because there were a few emergency surgeries which the hospital needed to handle.

Then this morning I was told that she would be going for her operation. One hour later, I received a call from the hospital that it has to be postponed again as grandma has rashes around the hip area.

Just about an hour ago, my brother called to inform me that grandma's appetite has been bad and she is feeling nauseous. She is also experiencing some discomfort on her affected leg.

I feel very helpless whenever I receive news like the above-mentioned. I cannot deny that it can be frustrating and sometimes I wish something can be done there and then. At the end of it all, I just have to trust that God knows what He is doing and I will let Him deal with all these by simply praying about it.

I decided not to visit grandma and mum in the hospital as I did not want to let my flu-bug affect them. I took the time to do some housework by bathing the pets, sweeping the floor and doing the laundry.

After that, I felt like going out to catch a breather. I went to town for a while wanting to shop but with the crowd and all, I decided against it. I just walked around and after two hours or so, I decided to head home.

I was doing some reflections as I was walking and I remembered three things which a missionary from Ireland shared during the mission trip. His name is Jonny Hamill. He shared with the team that in our life's journey, we should always love God first with no compromise on this whatsoever.

Having that priority right enables us to live life to the fullest, knowing full well that God is in control and that no matter how tough the going may be, we can still live joyfully knowing that God will pull us through. Many are struggling because the element of God's presence is missing hence they are always feeling alone, having to fight life's battle on their own. When exhaustion sets in, that means the end for the person.

Sometimes living the Christian life is not about playing it safe but having to take risks which many may not dare to do so. Many times God calls His children to live their lives different from what the society calls for. In all occasions we are told to stand out and not blend in - being a light basically, always shining. If one has the guts to do so, he will be scrutinised, mocked and persecuted but if doing so can win souls for God, it is all worth it.

It is easy for me to write all the above-mentioned but I know in reality it is tough but that should not stop me from trying. If I fail, I will try again and this goes on till I succeed one day.

Well, a very good counsel from my Irish brother-in-Christ. Praise the Lord for him! May God use him and his wife, Jill, mightily in Cambodia.

Struggling Together

It has been an exhausting experience since coming back from Cambodia on Wednesday. In fact throughout my seven days there my mind was not at peace because on the first day when the mission team arrived in Phnom Penh, my brother messaged to inform me that grandma has been admitted into hospital due to a fractured hip.

I already suspected something was not right with her when I was about to leave for the airport. I noticed she was limping badly and I asked dad to monitor her.

I am now in the hospital waiting for grandma to go for her operation. She is placed on the waiting list as there was an emergency case and that had to be attended to first. I hope the wait will not be too long as she seems to be getting anxious by the hour.

I have spending a lot of time praying. I asked God to guide the surgeons' hands and that in the course of the surgery, there will not be complications of stroke or lung/urine infections due to grandma's old age. She will also be on local anesthesia and I pray her eyes will be fixed on Jesus and not on the surgery.

I have been running around, meeting doctors to discuss about the best treatment for grandma; going to the hospital's business centre to settle the cost of the operation. I had to also make enquiries with maid agencies to see which maid to engage so that grandma's physical needs will be taken care of.

I am actually quite disappointed that in the past one week, no one dared made any decision. Apparently the main reason was whether it was worth it to send grandma for the operation due to her old age and also whether it was worth it spending so much on the whole procedure!

When I came back, I had to put my foot down and bring to attention that money should not be the deciding factor as to whether grandma should go for the surgery or not. She may be 87 years old but she deserves every right to live comfortably. It is sad that in times like this when a decision needs to be made fast that everyone is caught up with rationalizing whether it is cost effective or not. This is a life we are talking about!

All these does not help that I have to also look into the needs of my mum who is hospitalized too due to urinal tract infection. She is recuperating in an isolation ward. I pray she will be discharged soon.

I posted a thought on FaceBook just now - I am basically thankful to God for the fellowship of my siblings-in-Christ because in times of need, they are there to pray and encourage me. This makes my struggles easier to bear. Praise the Lord for them all!

I would like to blog about the mission trip but not now. There are so much to share and I will find the time to do soon.

I shall end here. I do not know when all these will end but I'm trusting God to pull me and every one at home one day at a time.

Bye, Singapore. Hello, Cambodia!

In a couple of hours I will be with 15 other siblings-in-Christ at the airport, preparing to leave for our mission trip to Phnom Penh.

After 5 months of preparation, the time has come to put all the plans to action. While I was praying yesterday, I was reminded that these plans must be accompanied with God's guidance and a love for His people (the Khmers)!

Well, I guess the team members must remind each other on the above-mentioned as we go through each day of ministry. I pray for God's name to be glorified and His people edified in this 7-day stint in Cambodia.

I just finished packing and praise the Lord that everything is able to fit into my mid-size luggage. There are so many things to bring - medical bag, portable photo-printer with the papers and cartridges, stuff which I am bringing on behalf of some friends, my clothes and other personal belongings.

It has been a tiring week as there were a couple of things to do before I leave - bringing grandma for her jab which I forgot to do so on Monday, cleaning the house, doing the laundry, settling outstanding bills, buying groceries, bathing the pets, etc. I was also trying to recharge myself after an epic camp last week. :)

Anyway, I was quite concerned for grandma. When I was chatting with her, I asked her why she was walking with a limp and she told me she had a fall while going marketing. As much as my heart went out to her, I was also angry because I have told her several times not to go out but she still does it once in a while without the family members' knowledge. Sigh. She is the kind who cannot sit still at home so I cannot blame her when she sneaks out of the house secretly.

All I can ask of the Lord is to protect her when she goes out and that while I am away, everything would be fine. Nowadays I cannot leave home without worrying for the old folks.

Well, I shall leave all these to God and concentrate on the work in Cambodia, at least for the next one week.

There are a couple of other loved ones I am thinking about too but that is all I can do for now.

Time to end here.

I shall blog as and when I have wi-fi connection.

Bye, all!

When Jesus Died, We Died Too

The next programme only starts at 8.30pm. While waiting, I decided to blog some of my thoughts about today's teaching session by Rev. Reuben Ng. I am trying to bear with the noises created by two groups of campers rehearsing for their skits. I am also their DJ because they want to incorporate some music into their plays and I have just searched the soundtracks they requested for. Very creative, these young ones! I am so proud of them. :)

This morning, Pastor Reuben reminded me in his message that when Christ died for our sins, we also died with Him. Not as in a physical death but a spiritual one. Meaning to say that we have been cleansed from all our sins and we are no longer held ransom by them. They have no power anymore. We have basically died to sin!

The reason why many still struggle with sins because we allow ourselves to but in actual fact, we are no longer bound by the slavery of sin and death. It was liberating to know that.

Pastor Reuben brought up an example about how we sometimes judge others. If we allow sin to come into play, then nothing positive will ever come out of our perception of that person we have a problem with. The scary thing is it will only get worse. Slowly it leads from prejudice to a grudge and then to hatred.

The opposite is this - if we know well in our hearts that sin is no more a master, then our view will be governed by how Jesus would look at the person we have a problem with. Simply put - we will see that individual as Jesus would. We will shun off all evil thoughts and allow love to lead the way.

Praise God for the above-mentioned! :)

Well, these are my thoughts for now. I shall write more later.

"What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We are those who have died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? Or don’t you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life. For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we will certainly also be united with him in a resurrection like his. For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body ruled by sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin — because anyone who has died has been set free from sin. Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. For we know that since Christ was raised from the dead, he cannot die again; death no longer has mastery over him. The death he died, he died to sin once for all; but the life he lives, he lives to God. In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus. Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires. Do not offer any part of yourself to sin as an instrument of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer every part of yourself to him as an instrument of righteousness. For sin shall no longer be your master, because you are not under the law, but under grace." Romans 6:1-14

He Did Not Wait

I have just posted on my Facebook that I woke up with a heart of thankfulness, simply knowing that while I was helpless, ungodly and a sinner, Christ died for me! Praise the Lord for that!

The above-mentioned was preached by Rev. Reuben Ng in his first session to the campers. It was a simple message not only for the young but for a believer like me who has been a Christian for 26 years. Sometimes I myself need to be reminded of such a message, which, interestingly, was the reason why I turned my life to Christ. I guess, along the way, I have forgotten about it because it has been so long or simply for the fact that I have been dragged along the flow of this world where there are so much distractions that God became so small in my life.

It is always heartening to know that God did not wait till we become perfect or reach a certain level of 'holiness' then He sent His Son, Jesus Christ to die for us. He did not simply tell us that He loves us. Instead He put love into action! He meant what He said! Christ died for all. Period!

Yesterday during ministry time I was challenged to live out my Christian faith boldly and not be afraid of being scrutinised by the people around me. Many times we are hesitant in telling people we are a Christian because we still do not want to let go of some of our past - perhaps some pet sins or unfinished business we have with someone or a hatred we are harbouring, etc. Hence we fear that people will mock us for not being authentic because these areas are still stifling us.

As Christ did not wait for us to be perfect before He died for us on the cross, I think we also should not wait any longer by revealing our identity to the world. So long as each day we are overcoming the sins or shortcomings of our lives, we are always one step closer to godliness and holiness.

Well, the real test is always when I am out of church because in church it is always easy to be a Christian but when out of it, it is a totally different thing. Oh yah, Pastor Reuben mentioned this and I thought it made a lot of sense! Going to church does not make one a Christian. It is the same as going to McDonalds does not make one a hamburger!

Where is God in my heart? Where is God in your heart?

Wait no more!

"You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:6-8

Buy! Busy! Busy! Fun! Fun! Fun!

Tomorrow will begin a hectic two-week schedule, beginning with the Youth Camp at the BB/GB Campsite in Sembawang. I am looking forward to the five-day adventure with the youths from my church and also their friends. This year's response is exceptional because out of the 100 attending, 45 of the campers are actually guests. It is also one of the biggest camp we have ever held in years. Praise the Lord!

What I am praying for now is that at the end of it all, it is the quantity which matters but more so the lessons these youths can take home with them after the camp. Well, that one I will leave to God to do the transformation. :)

Just bumped into my sister's friend and had a chat with her. It is wonderful to see all of them working now and building their careers.

Anyway, back to the busyness I was sharing about. After the camp will be the Youth Ministry's Mission Trip where 16 of us will be leaving for Cambodia to hold another youth camp but this time for the Khmer youths. It is just a 2D/1N camp but I am sure all will enjoy each other's fellowship and also the activities planned.

The team is also heading to a village project some three hours from Phnom Penh. This is a first for the youths. Though we do not know what exactly to expect, we are still anticipating a great time of doing community work for the villagers.

I am also looking forward to this trip though going to Cambodia is like heading back to my second home. I cannot believe that I have been there for close to 30 times since my first in 2010. It is something I have committed myself because of that one Khmer boy who asked whether I will be back again. It was a sincere question as he was wondering whether others who have come and gone on mission trips actually care for people like him.

In all these visits, I have also learnt a lot from the Khmers and I will always cherish them in my heart. Some are tough to practice especially in an affluent country like Singapore but I will press on. :)

I have been feeling a little exhausted too having to take care of grandma's medical needs. Bringing her to and from hospital for her check-ups have been trying for both her and me or sometimes my brother. I just pray that God will continue to sustain everyone and may He make my grandma well soon so that everyone can get on with their lives.

I shall stop here for now.

Have a blessed day, everyone! :)

A Divine Nudge

It has been almost a week since I last blogged.

I decided to do so today because I want to give thanks to God for giving me a divine nudge (as commented by my pastor) to check on grandma in her room. When I opened the door I was shocked to see her sprawled on the floor. She could not get up as she was feeling very drowsy from the medication that she took.

Anyway, she pee-ed on the floor and I had to change her clothes and clean her up before mopping the floor. I am thankful to God for protecting her from any injuries. She is now sleeping and I pray she will feel better tomorrow.

I just finished doing the laundry and will probably carry on doing an article which I am supposed to submit by tomorrow afternoon. I am almost 75% done. I should be able to complete them before I hit the sack.

The past three days have been busy with the Trinity Annual Conference meetings at Toa Payoh Methodist Church. I did not go yesterday as there were enough delegates representing my church.

Since coming back from London, it has been dealing with home matters especially grandma's health condition. My brother and I took turns to bring her for her medical check-ups. Sometimes in the middle of the night I would wake up abruptly just to ensure that grandma is okay.

It has been draining physically, emotionally and mentally but I praise God that spiritually He is keeping me going. I am constantly being reminded that He is in control and that no worries can help me solve any matters. All I can do is to trust God to help me do what I can and to carry out my role as a occasional care-giver joyfully.

Yesterday I decided to take a break from home matters to just go out and chill. A dear friend and I went to Johor Bahru after we queued up to register for the OCBC Cycle Singapore 2012. We thought the goodie-bags for the first 300 were full of good stuff but we were deeply disappointed. Anyway, we quickly got over that as we concentrated on our day trip to Malaysia.

We drove in but the weather was horrendous as it began to pour "dinosaurs and rhinos" as my friend would categorise it. We had bak kut teh (pork ribs soup) for lunch. It was good. We also ordered the pork knuckles cooked in dark soya sauce. We each had a bowl of rice but we could not finish them. As usual the meal was good and cheap!

Next was to Tebrau City where there is this huge supermarket. We spent the remaining part of the afternoon in that mall. We snacked a little here and there. We window-shopped. It was the grocery-shopping which was the finale. We bought quite a lot of groceries and other household items as they were cheaper.

The trip ended with a seafood dinner at the same restaurant that my other friends and I always patronised. As it was just the two of us were ordered only three dishes - one crab cooked in salted egg gravy with a tinge of curry powder and leaves; one kilogram of buttered crayfish; and also the tau-hu cooked in maggi light sauce.

That meal was good too. We could not finish them but we had them packed so that my friend could bring home. We did not want to waste the food. I was told she had the meat of the crab and crayfish made into sandwiches which she had them for lunch this afternoon. :)

Before we went back to Singapore, we bought a premium durian and also two soursops at a roadside stall. We also had the petrol tank topped up. By the time we arrived home, it was already almost 11pm.

Well, we got lost twice but thanks be to God for bringing us back on track.

Okay, I would want to write more but I have my article to do.

Good night, all! God is good in all situations! :)

Celebrate Both Life And Death

I am blogging now at Island Creamery after doing a recce at Botanic Gardens for the mission team retreat tomorrow. It rained when I arrived but decided to go ahead with the recce. A little drenched but I am contented that I now know the ground. I am also relieved that there are big fields for the team to do their activities and also shelters which are large enough to accommodate all 16 of us should the weather turn against us.

I ordered two scoops of ice-cream as I had a sudden craving for it.

It has been a very busy day for me. In the morning, I attended a funeral of my church's assistant pastor's mother. In a short message given by a Chinese-speaking pastor, I learnt from him that death is to be celebrated as it would mean leaving this world to another place more glorious; where there is no more suffering.

I am reminded too that whilst I am still here that I should also celebrate life even in the midst of the struggles which no one can escape from. I was also challenged to cherish my loved ones while they are still around. There will be times when we get on each other's nerves or step on each other's toes but they are nothing compared to this special relationship God has given us. This then reminded me that if I am an imperfect being, why should I hold a grudge against another who is also the same as me? I guess by having this in mind, it would help me to be more tolerant of others because surely I would want them to do the same of my shortcomings - bearing with me while I learn to change.

Well, praise God for the above-mentioned.

I had lunch with my senior pastor and two other siblings-in-Christ after the funeral. We went to have Indian food at Casuarina Road. I ordered a plate of maggi mee goreng and a cup of iced milk tea but both were below average. Anyway, bad or not, I still thank God that I still have food to eat each day. :)

It was to church next as I need to print out the retreat materials. Well, it did not take me long to do that and I am glad I was able to finish preparing them. I have been praying for God to provide for me the necessary materials and it was only yesterday that all the inspiration came. Phew!

My router died on me when I came back from London. The technical staff tried to help me salvage it but to no avail. In the end I had to buy a new one but praise God I got a good deal as I was given a discounted price by the same staff mentioned above. I shall install it when I head home later.

Yesterday was the first time I cycled after more than two weeks. I enjoyed the time thoroughly with five other friends. We met at East Coast Park and it was then off to Changi Village and back. I am looking forward to another ride this weekend with a dear friend. As much as I can, I will try to ride more before I start work on 2 January 2012. I hope I will still have time to cycle after that. Even if I do not, I will make time as I cannot let work govern my life as it is only a mean to meet my daily needs and that of my loved ones and perhaps save a little for rainy days. :)

On the second day of my return from the United Kingdom, I met a dear friend for lunch at a restaurant in Chinatown. The food was good and I also enjoyed the time of catching up and passing her some stuff I bought during the trip. :)

With all these shared, I am glad to be back home with my family especially grandma. I am grateful to God for making her well again though she is still recuperating. There are many check-ups to bring her to but so long as they would aid in her recovery, it would be worth the effort.

Okie, I guess I should stop here and head home.

Praise God for everything and above all, this life He has given me. There are joy and pain I am and will be experiencing but I shall take heart that He will see me through them all! :)

Getting To Know Strangers

I just finished packing all the items which I do not need to use in the remaining two days of my stay here in London. Surprisingly I am able to pack everything in my luggage. The only concern I have is that it may have exceeded the weight limit. Well, I shall pray that the check-in staff will close an eye to it. :)

I have bought most of the things I need except for an item or two which I will purchase tomorrow. I will probably spend some time with God reading the Bible and praying in my favourite park - Hyde Park. I love reading in the parks, be it in Cambridge or in London, as the weather is so conducive to do so.

Anyway, this afternoon while I was in Debenhams window-shopping, I saw two of the staff rushing to a section where there was a crowd around this elderly gentleman lying on one of the sofas. I asked the staff what happened and she told me that the man was experiencing chest pain. I told them that I am trained in first aid and also in using the defibrillator.

I kept talking to the man as I did not want him to lose consciousness. While doing so, I got to know his name as Mr. Paul Cawthorne. He is 81 years of age. We had small talks as I did not want to strain him too much. Not long after, the medics came and took over from there.

They suspect it is a heart-attack and quickly brought him to the hospital after running some checks on him. Well, as they wheeled him away, I prayed for him that God will protect and heal him.

After that I went to Covent Garden as I needed to buy some stuff from there. As I walked past one of the street entertainers who was taking a break, I decided to speak to him. I have seen his performance - he dressed himself like a Roman soldier and he has such a rubber face that one cannot stop laughing as he teases the passers-by.

I told him he was good. He smiled and thanked me. He has been doing this day in and day out for more than 10 years already. Anyway, I wished him well and went on my way.

After everything was done, I went to meet a dear brother-in-Christ for dinner and we had fish and chips near Victoria Station at this restaurant named SeaFresh. The meal was not bad.

Anyway, before I leave, I am going to visit the Italian restaurant next to where I have been living. I have bought pizzas a couple of times from this elderly gentleman named Pannier. When I first visited his restaurant he dawned upon me as a grouchy old man but after buying from him regularly, he has been more friendly.

He has his business for more than 10 years but it has not been doing well with only about 10 customers daily. Anyway, I affirmed him that his pizzas are one of the better ones I have tried and he smiled. His son is a pilot for a private Swiss airline.

Well, I guess that is all.

I feel a little sad that I will be leaving London in two days but at the same time I am also looking forward to going home though with a heavy heart as I know there are a couple of matters to attend to. The main one being grandma. Well, I have been praying for God to use me to encourage grandma and I shall see how He can do that. One step at a time, I guess.

Good night, all, in this part of the world and good morning to the rest of you at the other side. :)

Trials Are Not Bad

Once in a while my heart is saddened when I thought of how things have changed in my relationship with someone I hold dear to. It is not a romantic relationship, if you readers are wondering.

Many times I asked God why it has to be what it is now. The answer I always receive is that both parties need to put aside our pride/grudges/frustrations/bitterness/unforgiveness in order for reconciliation to happen. Every day I pray for this to happen but it has yet to happen. Communication has ceased. Everything is swept under the carpet. There is no more openness and transparency. Promises made were broken. There seemed to be no more trust.

As I was spending some time in a park with God near where I am staying, it just baffled me how things have become what it is now. As I was reflecting, I realised there were many false assumptions made. There were distrust. Care shown became suspicion that there were more to what it is.

Anyway, I am not ashamed to share this struggle because I am a human. I struggle with relationship with another but my desire is that I want to make right should I err. That is why every day I still pray about it.

Well, that was the burden in my heart this morning. I spoke to my brother to obtain an update about grandma. I thank God that the sleeping tablet she took has lost its effect on her and that she is less sleepy now. I also praise the Lord that she is able to eat better and that she is alert to the surroundings and that she is responding to my brother and parents. I do not want to speak to grandma as I do not want her to worry about me.

Another thing I learnt while I was spending time with God this morning is that yes, there will be times when one has to face a lousy situation. More often than not, we dwell in this misery and becomes negative and bitter. Today I was reminded that I should be encouraged that as much as I have to go through this trying period, so long as I am doing something about it - something as easy as saying a prayer or doing something as difficult as being thankful for what I am going through - it is already a step to making the situation better. Eventually it will be overcome and life carries on.

I told God that I am ready to face what is ahead of me when I go back to Singapore so long as know He is with me at all times in dealing with grandma's forgetfulness, bearing with her when she throws her tantrums, encouraging my brother or parents when they get frustrated, having to go through the inconveniences of having to bring grandma for her check-up, etc.

Well, I did a little shopping - bought a couple of shirts and I am also thankful to God that an online order I made went through smoothly. I have received the item and the price is really cheap due to a ongoing promotion and also being able to claim the VAT returns.

I came back to the hotel to rest for a while before going out to have dinner with a friend. We ate at an Italian restaurant and I simply enjoyed the pizza which is supposed to be very spicy but when I took the first bite, it was not even close to mild. Haha. I asked for more cut chillies and the waitress was shocked when I finished the whole bowl of it. :)

I am now in my room again. I am actually quite tired. I shall sleep soon as I have to be in Cambridge tomorrow to meet my ex-course supervisor.

Praise God for today. The reflections this morning have allowed me to once again surrender everything to God when I am at my wit's end. In His time, He will bring about reconciliation in my relationship with my loved one. In His time, my grandma will be well again. In His time, I will learn more of Him and myself. :)

Grandma Will Be Well!

I just had a sumptuous Indian dinner with a dear brother-in-Christ. I always thought that those in Singapore are delicious... well, after tonight's meal, I must admit that this restaurant serves better food. We had chicken briyani served in a claypot, garlic naans and also chicken mirch masala. There was a complimentary cup of soup. For starters, there were papadoms with six different kinds of dips.

Anyway, grandma has been discharged from the hospital. It is not just because she is well but the doctor felt that if she stays any longer, her dementia condition may worsen. My brother updated me on this in the middle of the night when I was sleeping... due to the time difference between Singapore and the U.K..

After that I could not really sleep as I was thinking how the family and I can help affirm grandma as her memory slowly slips away. I spent a considerable time praying for her and also asking God for solutions.

Well, in the midst of just being still, I roughly know what I need to do when I go back. Well, it is not the kind of return I would love to look forward to but I cannot have this kind of thoughts. After all, it is grandma I am talking about - the one who took care of me from babe to who I am now.

I guess I will spend more time with her in prayer and also reading the Word of God so that she will be reminded that God is always there to help her and in times when she feels helpless, she can depend on Him for help. I also need to call her a few times a day just to let her know that she is remembered and to assure that I am there for her anytime. This is to ensure that she eats her meals regularly. The doctor suspected that her fainting spell is due to her forgetting to eat her meals regularly.

I need to speak to my parents and brother and also my cousins and uncle to see how we can all unite together to help grandma. It is going to be a bit of adapting to but I feel every one needs to play their part in ensuring that grandma is at no time feeling unwanted or useless.

On my part, I will pray for grandma daily that God has mercy on her and also to sustain her in whatever remaining days she had on this earth.

After praying, I corresponded with my sister and also a dear friend about grandma. I felt better after that.

I am supposed to be in Cambridge today but it had to be postponed as my ex-course supervisor had a staff meeting to attend at the last-minute. It was changed to tomorrow but I received a message earlier that it had to be postponed again. I could understand his busyness as it is also the examination period. Well, I hope before the weekend we could meet. If not, I guess we may not be able to catch up at all.

I did not really have much mood to do anything. I basically went to buy the cycling shades for my friend and I. After days of visiting various optical shops, I decided on one which I felt was reasonable and friendly. Praise God it was the right choice made - not only did the kind gentleman allowed me to change one set of lenses to the photo-chromic ones, he also gave 20% off to both pairs of sunglasses bought. In the end, they cost much cheaper than those sold in Singapore.

I felt bad that I could not get the one my friend wanted as that particular model is sold out. Even for me, I had to settle for another colour because the one I wanted, though there was one available, it had a scratched on it.

Anyway, praise God that the deal was done. :) I also needed to buy a DAB radio for another friend and when the purchase was done I headed back to the hotel to rest.

It was still early but I wanted to just stay in as I did not have sufficient sleep. The other reason was also due to a slight fever I had last night, coupled with a sore throat. Thank God after taking some medications, I am well now.

I shall end here. Oh yah! I finished one out of the two books I brought. I hope I can finish the other before going back to Singapore. :)

Appreciating Worship

This morning I went to All Souls Church for the 9.30am service. Whenever I am in London, this is the church I will attend. The late John Stott used to be the rector of the church. It is sad that he is no more with us but I am also happy that this faithful servant of God is now in heaven.

Today's sermon is taken from Revelation 11:1-19. In context with this passage one thing hit me hard. The preacher shared that sometimes we do not appreciate praising God because we have not experienced suffering enough to know how blest we are and how good God is in our lives. Many times we take our blessings for granted and forgotten from whom these come from.

Usually it is those who are going through hardship and persecution who are more thankful to God for the little things in life. Even the opportunity to live through yet another day warrants them a time of praise to God for His grace and mercy.

Food for thought for the above-mentioned. It was a rebuke for me and I was humbled. After the service I spent some time in prayer asking God to help me be thankful at all times. I also prayed and asked God to help me live a life which is pleasing in His sight and edifying to the people around me. First things first, I will always seek to glorify God. I hope I will be able to press on.

I called home to find out the status of grandma's condition. So far, the doctor confirmed that grandma lacks vitamin B12 and they are now going to supplement her with that deficiency. For her recent weight loss, the medical staff will have to do a CT scan as well as a scope but these can only be done tomorrow. I pray nothing serious will come out of that.

I sent out prayer requests to my sister, cell group and also the mission team to ask them to intercede for granny. Those who saw my FaceBook posting also affirmed me that they will be praying.

I hope all these effort will bring healing to grandma.

Well, after service I brought a dear brother-in-Christ to a steak-house, named Hawksmoor, for lunch. It is also to celebrate his super-belated birthday. The food was not bad and we were very full and satisfied.

My brother-in-Christ left after the meal while I stayed back in Covent Garden to watch the street performances. After that I went to a bike shop in London Bridge area to buy two cycling jerseys - one for a dear friend and the other for me. We thought the design is unique and since the price is right, the purchase was made.

I went next to Selfridges next to buy for another friend some Nespresso capsules.

When all these were done, I was drained physically. Before I went back to the hotel, I bought kebabs for dinner.

Praise God for today. :)

Prompted To Pray

After lunch today I decided to go to Hyde Park to spend some time in reflection and prayer. I could have gone to shop or check out more bike shops but I felt the need to put that aside for a moment.

I sat on one of the benches and prayed for my family and other loved ones. I specifically prayed for healing for grandma as I have been burdened for her health since a few days ago when I was informed that she has been unwell.

Then came the message from my brother informing me that grandma has been admitted into hospital. She apparently blacked out while in the kitchen. Thank God my brother was there to catch her before she fell. She was unconscious for a while.

She was sent to the Accident and Emergency Department and is now admitted for observation. The doctors will also be running some tests to ascertain the cause of the black-out. I just pray that there is nothing serious and that the medical staff will know how to help grandma.

My brother will update me accordingly and he assured me that everything is in control and there is no need for me to go home.

Anyway, I went for a walk along River Thames. Again I prayed for grandma. I was supposed to watch some fireworks display but I had no mood to do so. I headed back to the hotel after spending some time in quiet and also feeling super cold from the sudden drop of temperature.

Other than the shock I received back home, I had a great breakfast at this cafe called Latana Cafe where they serve very very delicious English Breakfast. After that I followed a dear brother-in-Christ to buy some computer stuff and also a new backpack. We headed next to Portobello Market and then for lunch at Bayswater.

After Hyde Park, I went to Greenwich to check out a bike shop and it was here when I receive the message from my brother about grandma.

Well, I am tired. I will share more about my reflection soon.

Praise God that He has everything under His control and I know He will make all things beautiful in His time.

Goodbye Singapore, Hello UK!

I am shivering as I am typing. It is very cold in my hotel room. I just turned up the heater and hopefully it would be warmer soon. Time flies that it is already my fourth day here in London.

Eversince I touched down, it has been helping a dear brother-in-Christ settle into his hostel as he prepares for his PHD programme. We went to do the necessary paper work and also buying of all the items needed for his accommodation. Well, we have settled most of the stuff and it is now for him to unpack and to arrange the room as he deems appropriate.

I just moved to another hotel. I was initially at Earl's Court but I am now in Hammersmith. There will be a couple of commuting to do the next few days. I will be in Liverpool on Saturday, attempting to buy a ticket for the Liverpool - Swansea match. On Monday I will probably be in Cambridge to visit my supervisor. I am considering visiting Ireland but I am not sure yet.

I was supposed to go hunting with an ex-coursemate but he just informed me that it may not be possible due to the cold spell.

Though I mentioned that I have been helping my brother-in-Christ with his lodging matters, I have also been visiting various bike shops to check out some wheels for my bike and also shades for a dear friend. I am basically just making price comparisons before I decide when and where to buy them.

As much as I am enjoying myself so far, my heart has been burdened by grandma's health. I called home earlier and was told that she is not feeling well. I spoke to her and she sounded weak. I pray that God will heal her as soon as possible.

Though I am on holidays, I cannot just simply tell myself that I do not care about matters at home. Hence I still keep in touch with my family and friends via WhatsApp, sms or phone-calls. It also helps me to know what I can pray for them when I spend time with God here.

Anyway, praise God that He has taken care of all matters so far and I shall continue to trust that He will do so till I go back on 15 November 2011.

Well, nothing much to share for now but will write more in the next few days. :)

Being On The Same Boat

It has been a great weekend for me but a part of my heart is troubled and burdened over a matter concerning a loved one. Well, I can only pray about it for now (and I have been doing so for a few months already). All I can do is just hope for the better.

Anyway, since Friday it has been running of errands and ensuring that everything at home is in order before I leave for London tomorrow on a two-week getaway. I stocked up the refrigerator and also the kitchen cabinets, cleaned the house and did all the laundry.

On Friday evening, a dear friend and I went to check out some cycling shades at Parkway Parade and Queensway Shopping Centre and had dinner together at a Japanese restaurant (Sakuraya) in Anchor Point. We did that again this afternoon at Novena Square and had lunch at an Indonesian/Thai restaurant, named Bali-Thai Restaurant, but the food was not great. No matter what, I thank God for His blessings that we, as Singaporeans, still have food to consume daily.

Well, from the two days of enquiries and looking at the different brands of shades, we have decided on the one we are comfortable with. When in London I will do a price comparison and from there purchase the item accordingly.

On Saturday morning, the same friend and I went cycling together. Instead of covering the usual route to Changi, we headed towards the Marina Bay area instead. It was an impromptu plan but it was fun as we explored and found new paths leading to the Marina Barrage. After that we went to this cafe (named Loysel's Toy) in Kallang Basin and had our breakfast. We cycled back to East Coast Park after that.

Overall, I had an enjoyable time and I praise God for that! I enjoyed the time of catching up and also working out. :)

This morning as I was doing my devotion, I learnt something which humbled me. Many times I get disappointed with people because of their shortcomings but today I learn that I should not be feeling that way because of the fact that no one is perfect... not a single human being on this earth. Who am I to be disappointed with another when I myself am not perfect. What benchmark am I using to be feeling that way towards another.

What is the alternative then? I guess, first of all, we must bear with one another. This does not mean that we tolerate their shortcomings. Instead we should help one another in overcoming our weaknesses or struggles so that these can be turned to strengths. It will take time but we must not give up on each other. Instead we should walk with one another.

If we cannot have the patience and perseverance in doing the above-mentioned, then we will always remain the same and it will be a vicious cycle where the disappointment and frustration will come back to haunt us again in another circumstance.

If we are in the same boat, let us steer it in the correct direction rather than rock it and in the end have everyone fall into the water and drown.

Anyway, I will try to blog once in a while during the trip. I am going to miss cycling for two weeks but will look forward to it when I come back. :)

I guess that is all. Take care everyone and have a blessed new week ahead!

A Humbling Experience

This weekend has been a humbling experience for me. Nothing serious but it has to do with my recent interest in cycling. I joined this riding group called the Fellowship of the Ride ("FOTR") - it was an invitation by a dear brother-in-Christ. It started off with a few Christian siblings-in-Christ and it now has 101 members.

Yesterday morning I decided to join some of them for a 90.5km ride from Thomson Road to the western part of Singapore. As I was looking forward to the trip the whole week, I thought it should be a breeze since I have been 'training' for the past one month or so. Having covered an average of 60km per ride and maintaining a constant speed of 28kph, I thought I was good to go.

Boy, was I wrong! Two areas I totally were not prepared for - the hills and also the mental aspect in conquering them. Right from the start already, I encountered one after another up-slope! Though my brother-in-Christ was there to pace me, I could not keep up after 30 minutes and I felt bad as we were quite far from the rest.

In the end I decided to ask him to go ahead. He respected my decision and went on. For me, it was a battle - to turn back and go home or to press on in the route I have more or less memorised. I chose the latter, knowing jolly well that there will be more hills ahead.

As I went on, I told God that I really did not think I was up to it but I was determined to cover at least the majority part of it. I went ahead to roads I have never been before and in the cover of darkness as the sun was not up yet.

I told a dear friend that I intend to cycle to my workplace which is Nanyang Technological University and yesterday I did. I was so proud of myself. Haha.

Anyway, I cycled a total of 68km. 8km more than my average and I praise God for that because that is a new record for me. I covered a couple of up-slopes which sometimes felt as if my legs were going to drop off. There was one point I had to take a pit-stop, eating my energy bar and also drinking my electrolyte enhanced drink.

I started at 5.00am and I arrived at my estate at 8.30pm. By that time, my thighs were cramping up and they felt so tight. My bum was painful due to some abrasions. My arms were a little sore too. But I was happy and satisfied. :)

Throughout the trip, from the point I cycled alone, I reflected on my walk and I was just asking God - "Lord, what can I learn from this?" Well, below are some thoughts I had.

Many times I feel that I know God enough that I do not need to know Him anymore. Whatever knowledge I have of Him, I thought it would have been sufficient for me to experience life. But the encounter I had with the up-slopes yesterday humbled me that there is never enough when it comes to knowing God. Hence I prayed and asked Him to help me not be complacent in my walk with Him so that everyday I will continue to yearn for Him by reading His Word, praying and even being still before Him.

I also learnt that in my life's journey, there are seasons to rest and seasons to press on. Just like the ride, I could have turned back when the going got tough but in choosing to press on, I learnt to trust God to show me the way and also to strengthen the areas where I am weak. The process may be slow at times but it will still get me to the destination.

Then comes the other discipline where I also need to stop to recharge... just like when I needed to eat the energy bar and drink the water. It is the same for my life. If I had gone on, I would have fainted. This is where personal retreat away from the routines is important to re-organised my life and to chuck away those areas which are not beneficial for me.

Of course, encouragements from a dear friend and my brother-in-Christ helped. I remembered what they told me and as I went on and during times when it was just so painful, having remembered their words spurred me on. :)

Well, praise God for the above-mentioned.

On Friday I was riding too. I went with my dear friend and another new friend from East Coast Park to Changi Village. I met the former earlier as I needed to repair her bike and also to pass her a couple of things. We then cycled to Bedok Jetty to chat.

The whole journey was fun and it was also food-ful as I had my dinner of nasi lemak at Changi Village.

This morning I was at Changi Coastal Road to cheer some of the FOTR members in their participation in the Cyclone Race Series 2011. For the Fun Quad Category, they came in third and that was great result as this is their first time. After that we went for breakfast before heading back to the event ground for the prize presentation. I basically the photographer for the day. :)

Okie, there are more which I did but I shall stop here as I am tired.

Good night, all, and have a blessed week ahead!!! :)

"I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:14

Memories Fading; Hope Rising

I just looked at grandma as she laid on her bed and my heart suddenly sank. Sometimes I feel sad for her especially when I see the emptiness in her eyes. Suffering from dementia, sometimes I cannot fathom what is running in her mind (if at all).

Eversince she has been diagnosed with dementia, my prayer for her has always been asking God to take away all the bad memories first so that the good ones will continue to drive her on in life (whatever that is left of it). Sometimes I also pray (which I hope is a right kind of prayer) that if there is no more meaning for her to live on, that God take her soon so that she can enjoy a life of eternity in heaven with Him.

I have ever been advised to send her to an old folks' home so that proper care can be administered. As much as that is a convenient thing to do, my love for her does not compel me to do so. I have shared this before and I will share again.

Grandma has been the one who has taken care of me since I was a baby and she is still doing so now that I am an adult. No matter how bad her condition is, I will be there for her physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually till she is no more with us. I want her to know that she is still wanted in whatever condition she is in now. All I pray daily is that God gives me that perseverance and also the wisdom to know how to care for her appropriately and also to shower love which I hope will bring a certain sense of peace and assurance in her heart.

Well, I am going to join her to do some marketing after this and hope little things like this will make her day. :)

I am also looking forward to meeting a long-time friend whom I have not met to catch up for a real long time. We are planning the venue and time now and I cannot wait to have a time of fellowship with her.

After that I have to run some errands and then a time of cycling with some dear friends. I am going to take it easy tonight as I have a 90km ride tomorrow from 5.00 to 8.00am. It is a challenge I have taken up for myself and like what a dear brother-in-Christ has encouraged me - finish or not is not the goal. It is the doing and the endurance which matter. :)

Have a great Friday, everyone and a restful weekend ahead! God bless!

A Thin Red Line

I did my secret cycling training last night and my legs almost fell off as I tried to maintain a constant speed of 30kph. I started from my place all the way to the Changi Coastal Road. It was when I reached the National Service Resort and Country Club ("NSRCC") that I picked up my pace and kept between the 25 to 30kph speed. I could feel my thigh cramping up but I pressed on.

I had a pit-stop at the Changi Village hawker centre where I drank a can of 100 Plus and a plate of fruits. It was here I met a veteran cyclist who owns a classic Conalgo bike. As we were travelling back the same direction, we cycled together. It was here I saw how fit he was. He is probably in his late forties or early fifties but as we ride on, he began to pick up speed. I managed to keep up but slowly I lagged behind because he went on between 35 to 40kph. I kept to my 30kph... sometimes dropping a little as my legs were sore!!!

When we reached back NSRCC, we slowed down and chatted as we cycled towards Marine Parade. We went on our separate way when I reached just opposite Parkway Parade as I needed to find out whether my friend needed me to fix her saddle. I was already at the underpass leading to her place. As she was just on her way home and mentioned that she was super tired, we did not meet and I went on my way home. During that ride, I also maintained the 30kph speed.

By the time I reached home, I was dead tired and I struggled to carry my bike up to my home though it was light. It was a great feeling though but I will probably have to tell a dear brother-in-Christ that I may not be able to keep up with him this Saturday as I joined him on a 80km ride at a constant speed of 30kph. Stamina not there yet. Haha.

Anyway, so much for the training. I like cycling and talking to God at the same time. I did that last night as I shared with Him some burdens I have for a particular loved one whom I have not spoken for a while already. I basically asked God to take away all our differences, forgive each other for the hurts inflicted, understand each other's differing views on certain issues and see how we can support one another. It saddens my heart that we are at where we are now. I also told God I am willing to wait for that day when all will be resolved and reconciled. I know He will make it happen so long as my loved one and I are willing to put away our pride, our disappointments, frustrations, etc.

Though we do not interact like we used to, I still intercede for this individual daily. It is the only thing I can do for now. :)

On another topic now - since last month I have been going through a phase where I have to be careful in a decision that I am considering. This sharing will be vague as it is not time for me to go into the details yet. It will be something which I have to be careful especially in the area of handling the matter and also not to be a stumbling block to others especially my siblings-in-Christ.

There are a couple of things I want to do but I have to weigh my motives and sometimes it is a very fine line. That is why I pray daily that God gives me wisdom and also the discernment to know what I am doing.

So far I know where my stand is and I have accounted this to some closer siblings-in-Christ just so that they can bring me back should I go off-tangent. I have been reflecting and evaluating daily and this process is also teaching me how I can use the lessons learnt to counsel others in future who may be going through the same struggle.

Well, sorry to keep you people in suspense. I may or may not share this again. I will see how as the time passes by. :) All I ask is that I will glorify God in this. :)

Time to go.

Living With The Leaving

I am trying to rush an article which I am to submit to my faculty by tomorrow. I am almost done but I am not satisfied with one portion. Anyway, I should be able to get it done just slightly after lunch time. I want to have it sent out by today so that tonight I can concentrate on my cycling training. Weather permits, that is.

Praise the Lord for the weekend which has just passed. Yesterday I participated in the World Hospice Day ride from Tan Tock Seng Hospital to East Coast Parkway Carpark F2. Prior to that I cycled to Marine Parade to link up with a dear friend who was riding, for the first time, a longer distance on the road. I thought I accompany her just to ensure that she was safe.

Well, praise God for His journey mercies upon my friend and I... and not forgetting the 300 over other cyclists. For the both of us, it was our first time riding with such a big group and we both concluded that it was just too congested. It was an experience though.

One thing I felt upon reflection of the event is that the focus was more on the cycling rather than on the work of the hospices. I thought it would have been more meaningful if we could have visited some of the patients and bring a little cheer to their lives. Probably that may move some to do volunteer work at the different hospices in Singapore.

Towards the end of the event, my friend and I left for lunch at the East Coast Lagoon hawker centre. We both had bak kut teh with pork knuckles and also tau pok. They were delicious. We chatted as we ate and it was another great time of catching up.

The ride home, after walking my friend back to her place, was torturous as I was pretty full and the weather was so hot and humid. Thank God I made it back alive. I had to hydrate myself along the way though.

A cold bath was so heavenly and the bed looked tempting but I had to resist a nap as I needed to rush to church to join the youths in the mission trip planning. I was very encouraged by their enthusiasm in brainstorming the activities together. It was just so heartening to see most of them did not lose steam even though we have not met for a month due to the examinations. I am so looking forward to serving the Lord and the Khmers in December. :)

Next was The All Blacks vs The Wallabies match of the Rugby World Cup semi-final 2. The former won! I cannot wait for next Sunday when they play against France, It should be a good game and I hope The All Blacks will win the trophy!

I was tired when the match ended but I wanted to do photography of the moon. Two dear brothers-in-Christ joined me for dinner at Ramen Champion in Iluma and then it was off to Marina Barrage but the moon rise was at 10.09pm. We decided to go to Singapore Swimming Club to bowl first in the meantime.

Well, the photography attempt was a failure. The moon was not round. We were on a pedestrian bridge which had vibrations when people walked past. The wind was strong and the lens kept swaying. None of the shots were clear enough. After a while we gave up.

Well, an eventful day I had.

Okie, back to my article. :)

An Enjoyable Day

I woke up early this morning as I needed to go for a shooting practice as part of my reservist obligation. I almost forgot about this until an army buddy of mine reminded me. Praise God all went well and by about 10.30am, I was done.

I left for Marine Parade to meet a dear friend to pass her some items and also to re-assemble her cyclo-computer which measures speed and cadence. The last time I did it for her, I made a mistake and since both of us are going on a cycling campaign tomorrow to commemorate World Hospice Day, I thought I get them rectified.

Once that was done, I also helped her clean and lubricate the chains so that tomorrow's ride will be a smooth one.

We had lunch at my favourite Japanese joint - Sakuraya. It was a great time of catching up and getting to know one another as we chomped on the yummy sashimi and a couple of other dishes. While eating both of us concluded that we prefer the Sakuraya at West Coast but it has since closed down.

Next was to a bicycle shop along Race Course Road where my friend needed to get her road-bike's handle-bar and saddle adjusted. The boss of the shop, whom we both like, helped us with that. We also met some representatives from the Wilier group, Italy, who were there to negotiate some deals with the shop owner.

Well, thank God that everything has been settled. My friend gave me a lift home while she went on to meet her good friend for their weekly activities. Looking forward to riding with her tomorrow along with some other cycling buddies from the Charity Bike 'n' Blade group.

I came home and did some housework while I watched the Wales - France match of the Rugby World Cup Semi-Finals 1. Well, I was hoping for Wales to win but they lost by one point. The final score was 8 - 9.

I am going to sleep early tonight as I need to be up by 5.30am to meet my friend at 7.00am. I am riding to the East to meet her first before we head for Tan Tock Seng Hospital. I am so looking forward to it. :)

Well, enjoyed myself today. In the morning, I was burdened for someone but I committed that person to God. :)

Happy Birthday, Dad!

Today is dad's 77th birthday. We had a simple celebration over dinner at a Japanese restaurant, named "Shin Yuu" located in Greenwood Avenue. Mum had a craving for Japanese food and since dad did not mind, all six of us (dad, mum, grandma, brother, sister-in-law and I) had a great time of feasting together.

I had my birthday celebration in the same restaurant and it was with a dear brother-in-Christ back in June. It would have been my third time there but the second one did not happen.

Anyway, in the late morning and whole afternoon, my parents and my uncle with another friend were in Johor for shopping and eating. I am glad they all had fun and I praise God for sustaining mum, who is physically weak, throughout.

Well, this morning after I prayed for dad, I wrote a short poem which I read to him over the dinner table. It read, "A God-blessed birthday to you, dad. The sacrifices you've made for me, I will always remember that. You watch me grow from a babe to an adult, your love for me is without a doubt. Our relationship as father and son have never been prefect but this is a reminder that our lives are works in progress. I'll praise God always for Georgie Chew, for giving me a unique father like you."

Dad and I have our differences but over these past few months, things have improved and I want to thank God for that. I feel that it is pointless to bicker over matters which are sometimes trivial but blown out of proportion. Instead I want to channel those energy to building relationships not just with dad but with everyone at home. There is still room for improvement and with God's help, I know our bond will be much closer in the near future.

We are supposed to celebrate dad's birthday yesterday as I have cell group meeting tonight but I decided that we should celebrate on the actual day itself. Cell group meetings fall every fortnightly but one's birthday comes only once a year. I guess missing one meeting is alright for the sake of family bonding.

I guess that is all.

Happy Birthday once again, dad!

Being Spiritually Inflated

I was planning to go cycling alone this morning. Initially a dear friend was supposed to join me but she told me that it was quite unlikely that she could as she had to work late last night and she wanted to sleep in this morning.

Before I left, I messaged to fill her in that I was setting off and to my surprise, my friend replied and informed me that she was up and that she was going to join me. It was great to have a cycling partner.

Both of us were inspired to take up cycling when we volunteered at a Charity Bike 'n' Blade event in early September. When we came back, we went to check out road-bikes. She got hers first - a Specialised Roubaix. A while later I got mine - a Wilier Izoard XP. Through the recommendations and advice from other regular bikers, we bought them at quite a good deal. Praise the Lord!

This morning, we met at the end of Fort Road and from there we cycled all the way to Changi Village where we had a simple breakfast. We shared a table with this guy named Ming and he was a cyclist too and we talked about cycling. Wow! Not too difficult to guess that, right? Haha.

I wanted to visit this elderly lady who sells wanton (dumpling) noodles but her stall is closed today. I have known her since my army days and that was back in the 90s. Well, another day, I guess.

Anyway, my friend and I went on the Changi Coastal Road on our way back to East Coast Parkway. She has not been on the road because she was not too confident as yet and since I am riding with her today, we decided to do so. I stayed behind her to ensure that no vehicles came near her and thank God it was a pleasant one! In fact, riding on the road was much smoother than on the pavements of the Park Connectors.

Although a little tired, I am proud of my friend who made it to and fro! :)

We had a light lunch at Komalas and it was a great time of catching up and also knowing each other better since we only became friends last month. Praise God for her!

After walking my friend home, I cycled back. The sun was intense and the road was actually quite busy but thank God for His journey mercies!

I would like to share a lesson I learnt this morning when I was cycling from my place to Fort Road. Nearing the destination, I felt that the road was suddenly very bumpy. As I looked around, I suddenly noticed that my front tyre was flat. I went off the road onto a pavement and checked whether there was a puncture but I could not find any. As I observed further, I realised that the valve was loose and air was actually escaping through it. I took out the pump and started filling the tyre with air again. Thanks be to God, it was inflated fully and I was able to carry on.

The above experience can be an analogy to one's walk with God. Along the journey, some of us may have lost steam in our walk and our lives suddenly become very bumpy. The main reason could be that God is no more pre-eminent and something or someone else has taken His place. I have come to realise as I reflected on this is that the only way to get ourselves back on track is to have God injected into our lives again so that we can move on ahead! One other thing we have to note though - He cannot take second place in our lives.

Only by doing so will we know exactly what God's will is for our lives and also be aware of what pleases Him and what does not. This was my morning reflection while doing something I like. :)

That said, when I came back, I did some maintenance on my bike, followed by doing some housework by bathing my pets and also sweeping the floor and doing the laundry. At the end of it all, I was tired but I felt satisfied for an enjoyable day I had!

Oh yah! In the midst of doing all the above-mentioned, I was also watching the Rugby World Cup quarter-final matches: one was between Wales and Ireland which the former won; the other was England versus France and the latter won. I am so looking forward to tomorrow's one especially the match between The All Blacks and Argentina!

Well, I guess that is all. Time to rest and also to play the guitar... it has been a while since I touched it. :)

"Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit." Galatians 5:24-25

Cycling, Reading, Praying And Chatting!

It has been a couple of days since I blogged. I thought this week would be freer for me since I am not helping out at a dear sister-in-Christ's office as she is away on a holiday with her hubby. As I sat down and looked at my schedules, I realised there are a couple of research which I need to do this week as they are due next Monday.

Well, thank God I managed to get most of them done. My fingers are basically numbed from all the typing and now as I close my eyes, all I see are words and more words. Looks like I am not used to all these since I have been away from work for a while but this is a good preparation for me as I look forward to going back on 2 January 2012. :)

Today has been filled with meetings - three in all. Two I had to chair as they come under my purview and one was a long one which I had to attend as it would involve my area of research. It does not help that when I woke up this morning, my thighs weighed like a ton of bricks. Haha. Thank God towards the evening, they are more relaxed and I am already looking forward to an evening of cycling tomorrow with a dear friend - weather permits, that is.

I felt the strain on my legs this morning as I cycled about 60km in total yesterday. 30km to and from my place and another 30km with three brothers-in-Christ from another church. We started from East Coast Parkway carpark F2 all the way to the end of Changi Beach and back to East Coast Parkway hawker centre where we had a drink together.

The ride along the coastal road alongside the runway of Changi Airport was long and straight but it was mentally challenging as the stretch felt like infinity. When you think you are reaching the end, the next thing you know you see another set of street lamps. Certain places were quite dark too, as warned by a dear friend, and one has to be careful especially in spotting a bend. It is quite strange that in the dark, a bend looks like a straight path so one had to be alert. One of my friends fell off his bike because of that. He had some superficial wounds on his arm but thank God he was alright generally.

Anyway, I spent some time with God at the Bedok jetty before I met up with the cycling gang. I basically read the Bible on my iPhone and prayed for a few matters and people. Though in my postings and generally in my blogs, I have been joyful and having fun doing the things I like but in my heart, I still have my burdens for certain people whom I cherish a lot. I also prayed about something which I hope one day will come to fruition but I told God also that it is alright if it does not. Well, He knows what is best for me and I shall trust Him to give me what is beneficial. :)

In my burdens for certain of my loved ones, I told God sometimes I do not know what to do. I am sometimes confused as to whether certain things I do or say will make matters worse. Then when I choose not to do anything about it, I also do not know whether these loved ones will think that I am holding a grudge against them which I am not.

Well, I will continue to keep praying and hope one day everything will fall in place. :)

Oh yah, before I headed home last night, I popped over my god-sis's place and had a chat with her elder sister. I am so happy that she is happily engaged and in the process of looking for a home. It is always a joy to see two individuals coming together and preparing to spend their lives in marriage. :) We did not chat for too long as it was very late and I needed to cycle home but it was a great time spent. Praise God for that!

Okie, I shall stop here. I need to really sleep now.

Good night all and have a great TGIF tomorrow! :)

“Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD, the LORD himself, is the Rock eternal.” Isaiah 26:4

So What If We Are Now Adults?

I am actually very tired but I guess I shall blog a little before I sleep.

It has been a great weekend of workout. Yesterday was the first time I went riding on a longer distant - 47km in total. I rode to the east to link up with a dear brother-in-Christ, Timothy, and then it was off to East Coast Parkway and then to the Changi Coastal Road and back.

I really went by faith, asking God to protect me as I was travelling on the road most of the time. I was a little nervous as I have not done this for a while. Anyway, I told myself it is now or never so with all the courage I could muster, off I went!

The ride was very pleasant and I have to say I am very pleased with the bike. Though to me 47km was really a feat, I managed to do so with much ease as in I did not experience much of a pain to my thighs or other parts of my legs. I was also afraid that my butt would hurt but nope, nothing of that sort... thanks to the invention of biking shorts with the padding. :)

I started at around 4.00pm and got home at slightly part 10.00pm. It was not all the time that I cycled. We took pit-stops and also had dinner at East Coast Hawker Centre. Tim's wife, Val, joined us there by car and it was a feast. I wanted to eat my favourite wanton noodles which my sister and I used to eat regularly but it was closed yesterday. Sigh.

On my way back I messaged a few friends to see whether they were home as I was passing. I managed to get hold of two of them (who are a couple) and I popped by their place for a chat. It was a great time of catching up. :)

After I got home, it was maintenance time as I cleaned the bike and did my laundry. I was so exhausted after that. I slept pretty early as I had to be in church by 8.00am just now.

Today is the distribution of t-shirts for those who ordered in support of the Youth Ministry's mission team's fundraising effort. We were hoping that all would collect by today but apparently not. Looks like we have to set up the booth for another Sunday to give out the remaining ones.

Overall praise God for a great time in church!

In the evening I went for a run. There was an inertia to do so but I felt the need to do so and off I went on a 5km jog. I did not want to strain my knees so I took it slow and steady. It felt good after I reached the finishing point. :)

In the morning before I left for church, I took some time to pray for some people and matters I am burdened about. One thing I learnt is this - reaching adulthood does not mean that one can always tell right from wrong. The motive of the heart usually blurs the line. Have the humility to seek the godly counsel of others so that one's decision made is wise and informed.

We must not fall into the trap that once we become adults mean we know all. We are always learning and we must constantly seek the counsel of others who may guide us through certain phases of our lives. This will then show us whether the decisions we are about to make on certain matters are in accordance to will of God.

It is those times when we refused to seek counsel that we know certain decisions made are not right hence we did not want to listen to the right advice which others would give us.

Well, that is the danger of entering into adulthood thinking that we can do what we want and that no one can control us anymore. We can choose not to be accountable to others but eventually we have to be accountable to God Himself.

I am just burdened by the above-mentioned and it pains my heart that while trying to help some of these individuals that they still choose to go against what they already know or have been told about.

I can only keep praying whenever I am affected by this.

Anyway, I shall end here.

Have a blessed week ahead! :)