Once in a while my heart is saddened when I thought of how things have changed in my relationship with someone I hold dear to. It is not a romantic relationship, if you readers are wondering.
Many times I asked God why it has to be what it is now. The answer I always receive is that both parties need to put aside our pride/grudges/frustrations/bitterness/unforgiveness in order for reconciliation to happen. Every day I pray for this to happen but it has yet to happen. Communication has ceased. Everything is swept under the carpet. There is no more openness and transparency. Promises made were broken. There seemed to be no more trust.
As I was spending some time in a park with God near where I am staying, it just baffled me how things have become what it is now. As I was reflecting, I realised there were many false assumptions made. There were distrust. Care shown became suspicion that there were more to what it is.
Anyway, I am not ashamed to share this struggle because I am a human. I struggle with relationship with another but my desire is that I want to make right should I err. That is why every day I still pray about it.
Well, that was the burden in my heart this morning. I spoke to my brother to obtain an update about grandma. I thank God that the sleeping tablet she took has lost its effect on her and that she is less sleepy now. I also praise the Lord that she is able to eat better and that she is alert to the surroundings and that she is responding to my brother and parents. I do not want to speak to grandma as I do not want her to worry about me.
Another thing I learnt while I was spending time with God this morning is that yes, there will be times when one has to face a lousy situation. More often than not, we dwell in this misery and becomes negative and bitter. Today I was reminded that I should be encouraged that as much as I have to go through this trying period, so long as I am doing something about it - something as easy as saying a prayer or doing something as difficult as being thankful for what I am going through - it is already a step to making the situation better. Eventually it will be overcome and life carries on.
I told God that I am ready to face what is ahead of me when I go back to Singapore so long as know He is with me at all times in dealing with grandma's forgetfulness, bearing with her when she throws her tantrums, encouraging my brother or parents when they get frustrated, having to go through the inconveniences of having to bring grandma for her check-up, etc.
Well, I did a little shopping - bought a couple of shirts and I am also thankful to God that an online order I made went through smoothly. I have received the item and the price is really cheap due to a ongoing promotion and also being able to claim the VAT returns.
I came back to the hotel to rest for a while before going out to have dinner with a friend. We ate at an Italian restaurant and I simply enjoyed the pizza which is supposed to be very spicy but when I took the first bite, it was not even close to mild. Haha. I asked for more cut chillies and the waitress was shocked when I finished the whole bowl of it. :)
I am now in my room again. I am actually quite tired. I shall sleep soon as I have to be in Cambridge tomorrow to meet my ex-course supervisor.
Praise God for today. The reflections this morning have allowed me to once again surrender everything to God when I am at my wit's end. In His time, He will bring about reconciliation in my relationship with my loved one. In His time, my grandma will be well again. In His time, I will learn more of Him and myself. :)
Many times I asked God why it has to be what it is now. The answer I always receive is that both parties need to put aside our pride/grudges/frustrations/bitterness/unforgiveness in order for reconciliation to happen. Every day I pray for this to happen but it has yet to happen. Communication has ceased. Everything is swept under the carpet. There is no more openness and transparency. Promises made were broken. There seemed to be no more trust.
As I was spending some time in a park with God near where I am staying, it just baffled me how things have become what it is now. As I was reflecting, I realised there were many false assumptions made. There were distrust. Care shown became suspicion that there were more to what it is.
Anyway, I am not ashamed to share this struggle because I am a human. I struggle with relationship with another but my desire is that I want to make right should I err. That is why every day I still pray about it.
Well, that was the burden in my heart this morning. I spoke to my brother to obtain an update about grandma. I thank God that the sleeping tablet she took has lost its effect on her and that she is less sleepy now. I also praise the Lord that she is able to eat better and that she is alert to the surroundings and that she is responding to my brother and parents. I do not want to speak to grandma as I do not want her to worry about me.
Another thing I learnt while I was spending time with God this morning is that yes, there will be times when one has to face a lousy situation. More often than not, we dwell in this misery and becomes negative and bitter. Today I was reminded that I should be encouraged that as much as I have to go through this trying period, so long as I am doing something about it - something as easy as saying a prayer or doing something as difficult as being thankful for what I am going through - it is already a step to making the situation better. Eventually it will be overcome and life carries on.
I told God that I am ready to face what is ahead of me when I go back to Singapore so long as know He is with me at all times in dealing with grandma's forgetfulness, bearing with her when she throws her tantrums, encouraging my brother or parents when they get frustrated, having to go through the inconveniences of having to bring grandma for her check-up, etc.
Well, I did a little shopping - bought a couple of shirts and I am also thankful to God that an online order I made went through smoothly. I have received the item and the price is really cheap due to a ongoing promotion and also being able to claim the VAT returns.
I came back to the hotel to rest for a while before going out to have dinner with a friend. We ate at an Italian restaurant and I simply enjoyed the pizza which is supposed to be very spicy but when I took the first bite, it was not even close to mild. Haha. I asked for more cut chillies and the waitress was shocked when I finished the whole bowl of it. :)
I am now in my room again. I am actually quite tired. I shall sleep soon as I have to be in Cambridge tomorrow to meet my ex-course supervisor.
Praise God for today. The reflections this morning have allowed me to once again surrender everything to God when I am at my wit's end. In His time, He will bring about reconciliation in my relationship with my loved one. In His time, my grandma will be well again. In His time, I will learn more of Him and myself. :)
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