I just finished all the paperwork for grandma's transfer to the Tan Tock Seng-Ren Ci hospital. She is there now for her rehabilitation programme which will probably take a month or so. Intensive physio-therapy sessions will also be carried out. I pray all these will aid grandma in the recovery process and that she will be able to walk again in no time! :)
I am spending some time now in the Coffee Bean outlet located at Millennia Walk. I decided to take some moment to be on my own and reflect on the year which has been tumultus but thanks be to God for pulling me through it.
Just the other day when I was feeling super-stretched having to take care of grandma and mum's hospitalisation and dealing with dad who is not taking responsibility in consuming his medication regularly, I told the Lord what a lousy year it has been.
That was my conclusion initially. It cannot be good when all these unpleasant events were experienced throughout the course of this year - at the beginning of 2011 I decided to take a break from work so as to pursue my desire to serve in the mission field but with my parents' ill-health and grandma's dementia, I had to shelf the idea.
Then came the stomach ulcers which I had to battle with. They were so painful that sometimes I could not even do or eat anything. They became so bad that I had to undergo a surgery to have a nerve removed and the ulcers patched up.
I had to also deal with issues involving my relationships with two individuals - one of them being very dear to me. It sometimes made me wonder whether it is worth it at all to invest so much of my time and effort in their lives when what I get in return is misunderstandings. Instead of fostering a closer bond, now a rift has formed and I do not know whether it would ever be mended. I am still praying daily that it would but that is all I can do for now. I have done whatever I could but situations remain as they are. One thing I learnt is this - as much as I love and care for these individuals, I realised at the end of the day, it is their lives and they are free to choose how to live them though I have sounded off my concerns. I have also learnt to be more tactful in sharing my burdens for them.
All these took a toll on me physically, emotionally and mentally. With the advice of some friends, I decided to go on a personal retreat to The Netherlands and that was a refreshing one for me - being away from the cares of this world and just spent time with God and on my own. I am grateful to two dear siblings-in-Christ's hospitality when I was there and also for their counsel.
Just when I thought the worse is over, it was not. Grandma was hospitalised when I was in the United Kingdom. She was admitted after having fainted at home. She was discharged a few days later after being nursed back to health. The reason for her fainting spell was related to her dementia where sometimes she forgot to eat. This led to her feeling weak and also having a Vitamin B12 deficiency which affected her memory power.
I thought the month of December would be a quiet one for me to prepare myself to go back to my teaching profession but again it was not to be. On the first day of the mission trip to Cambodia, grandma complained of an excruciating pain on the hip. She was rushed to the hospital and the doctors found out that she had a hip fracture after a x-ray was done. She sustained it when she had a fall at the market. She did not inform anyone about it and I only noticed her limp on the day when I was about to fly off to Cambodia. That same night she was admitted.
To add to my stress and anxiety, three days later, my brother message to inform me that mum was also admitted. She was down with Urinal Tract Infection and her blood glucose level was very high. I was on the verge of cutting short the mission trip so as to go back to help my brother but he told me to concentrate on my work with the mission team.
When I arrived home, I realised no decision was taken regarding grandma's fracture and it has already been more than a week. What angered me was the part where my cousins were not in favour of an operation, citing the reason that it may not be cost-effective due to grandma's old age.
When is it that age should be the deciding factor as to whether one deserves an operation or for that matter to live or die? EVERYONE deserves the right to live a good quality of life regardless of age! I told everybody off and reminded them that she is our grandmother and a human who deserves all the right to have her fracture rectified.
The most baffling thing is that the specialist has even recommended surgery after observing that grandma is fit to undergo the procedure despite of her old age.
Then when the day of surgery came, it had to be postponed because of diaper rash and urine infection. This added to everyone's concerns and stress level. Last week it reached a peak where it affected the mood of every member at home. Mum and dad quarreled. It did not help that my brother heard about it and decided to handle the squabble. I had to rush home to be the mediator.
When everything had calmed down, I just retreated and went somewhere to cry out to God for His intervention in all the above-mentioned. I felt very frustrated not being able to help grandma, my parents and my brother. I told the Lord I was at my wit's end.
If I had just concentrated on all the negative events above, then of course, the year is truly a nightmare. Then came these past few days when I decided to focus on the good part of the year and there were many too.
First of all, I get to rest from work and the fact that I am not working, I am able to handle all that had happened at home. It would have been more exhausting if I had to work and at the same time take care of the matters concerning home.
Though I am unable to serve as a missionary, I was able to focus on the Missions Committee which I was still chairing in the first 9 months of the year. I was also able to serve in the Youth Ministry which is another area of ministry dear to me.
Being able to go for a surgery to rectify my stomach ulcers was also something good though I had to go through the initial painful process. Now that it is over, I am free from the pain and the chances of having a recurrence are low.
The trips to The Netherlands, United Kingdom and Cambodia were also very refreshing for me. I cherished every moment especially marveling at the wonderful creation of God in other parts of the world.
I am also grateful to God for allowing me to enjoy an alternative sport which is cycling. Because of past injuries, I am unable to run or play any contact sports but when I participated in the Charity Bike 'n' Blade as a photographer, I was introduced to the world of cycling. I also made a lot of new friends from the event.
A dear friend, whom I got to know from the cycling trip, and I decided to check out some racing bikes when we came back. Each of us bought a bike after having visited several shops and we have been cycling since. It is a sport I now enjoy thoroughly because it has helped me do some exercise and I have lost a considerable amount of weight since. :)
I also praise God for allowing me to know friends like the one I mentioned in the above paragraph. Though it has just been a few months, I am glad that we have got to know each other better through the cycling sessions and also over meals and other leisure activities.
I have also joined three cycling groups - The Fellowship of the Ride, The Love Cycling Singapore and also The Christ Methodist Church Cycling Club! Though I only know most of them for a couple of months, some of them have already touched my life by praying for me during this difficult period.
That said, I am really thankful to God for giving me friends who have been there for me. They went the extra mile to ask for my prayer needs. Some even messaged me daily to ask how I am. Some even spent time with me over meals. They have indeed been a blessing and I will always remember their love and care forever.
I have to admit that if it were not for them, I would not have been able to pull through this period! God knows I am unable to handle matters on my own and He graciously provided these precious individuals to help me share the load! They have my promise that I will be there for them in their times of struggle. In helping one another, our journey here on earth is made easier to trod. :)
So is it still a lousy year? Nah! It is a matter of perspective. If I focus on the WHOM (God, that is), every trouble pales in comparison because my God is great and nothing is too big for Him to handle especially when it involves His children.
That said, my struggles will still be there but going into the new year, I will fix my eyes on Him and Him alone. Soon, all will come to pass and there will be many more years (whatever that is left) for me to look forward to. :)
If you think I am going to share my resolutions next... well, nope. I will save them for another day. :)
To God be the glory for 2011! :)
"Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever." Psalm 107:1
I am spending some time now in the Coffee Bean outlet located at Millennia Walk. I decided to take some moment to be on my own and reflect on the year which has been tumultus but thanks be to God for pulling me through it.
Just the other day when I was feeling super-stretched having to take care of grandma and mum's hospitalisation and dealing with dad who is not taking responsibility in consuming his medication regularly, I told the Lord what a lousy year it has been.
That was my conclusion initially. It cannot be good when all these unpleasant events were experienced throughout the course of this year - at the beginning of 2011 I decided to take a break from work so as to pursue my desire to serve in the mission field but with my parents' ill-health and grandma's dementia, I had to shelf the idea.
Then came the stomach ulcers which I had to battle with. They were so painful that sometimes I could not even do or eat anything. They became so bad that I had to undergo a surgery to have a nerve removed and the ulcers patched up.
I had to also deal with issues involving my relationships with two individuals - one of them being very dear to me. It sometimes made me wonder whether it is worth it at all to invest so much of my time and effort in their lives when what I get in return is misunderstandings. Instead of fostering a closer bond, now a rift has formed and I do not know whether it would ever be mended. I am still praying daily that it would but that is all I can do for now. I have done whatever I could but situations remain as they are. One thing I learnt is this - as much as I love and care for these individuals, I realised at the end of the day, it is their lives and they are free to choose how to live them though I have sounded off my concerns. I have also learnt to be more tactful in sharing my burdens for them.
All these took a toll on me physically, emotionally and mentally. With the advice of some friends, I decided to go on a personal retreat to The Netherlands and that was a refreshing one for me - being away from the cares of this world and just spent time with God and on my own. I am grateful to two dear siblings-in-Christ's hospitality when I was there and also for their counsel.
Just when I thought the worse is over, it was not. Grandma was hospitalised when I was in the United Kingdom. She was admitted after having fainted at home. She was discharged a few days later after being nursed back to health. The reason for her fainting spell was related to her dementia where sometimes she forgot to eat. This led to her feeling weak and also having a Vitamin B12 deficiency which affected her memory power.
I thought the month of December would be a quiet one for me to prepare myself to go back to my teaching profession but again it was not to be. On the first day of the mission trip to Cambodia, grandma complained of an excruciating pain on the hip. She was rushed to the hospital and the doctors found out that she had a hip fracture after a x-ray was done. She sustained it when she had a fall at the market. She did not inform anyone about it and I only noticed her limp on the day when I was about to fly off to Cambodia. That same night she was admitted.
To add to my stress and anxiety, three days later, my brother message to inform me that mum was also admitted. She was down with Urinal Tract Infection and her blood glucose level was very high. I was on the verge of cutting short the mission trip so as to go back to help my brother but he told me to concentrate on my work with the mission team.
When I arrived home, I realised no decision was taken regarding grandma's fracture and it has already been more than a week. What angered me was the part where my cousins were not in favour of an operation, citing the reason that it may not be cost-effective due to grandma's old age.
When is it that age should be the deciding factor as to whether one deserves an operation or for that matter to live or die? EVERYONE deserves the right to live a good quality of life regardless of age! I told everybody off and reminded them that she is our grandmother and a human who deserves all the right to have her fracture rectified.
The most baffling thing is that the specialist has even recommended surgery after observing that grandma is fit to undergo the procedure despite of her old age.
Then when the day of surgery came, it had to be postponed because of diaper rash and urine infection. This added to everyone's concerns and stress level. Last week it reached a peak where it affected the mood of every member at home. Mum and dad quarreled. It did not help that my brother heard about it and decided to handle the squabble. I had to rush home to be the mediator.
When everything had calmed down, I just retreated and went somewhere to cry out to God for His intervention in all the above-mentioned. I felt very frustrated not being able to help grandma, my parents and my brother. I told the Lord I was at my wit's end.
If I had just concentrated on all the negative events above, then of course, the year is truly a nightmare. Then came these past few days when I decided to focus on the good part of the year and there were many too.
First of all, I get to rest from work and the fact that I am not working, I am able to handle all that had happened at home. It would have been more exhausting if I had to work and at the same time take care of the matters concerning home.
Though I am unable to serve as a missionary, I was able to focus on the Missions Committee which I was still chairing in the first 9 months of the year. I was also able to serve in the Youth Ministry which is another area of ministry dear to me.
Being able to go for a surgery to rectify my stomach ulcers was also something good though I had to go through the initial painful process. Now that it is over, I am free from the pain and the chances of having a recurrence are low.
The trips to The Netherlands, United Kingdom and Cambodia were also very refreshing for me. I cherished every moment especially marveling at the wonderful creation of God in other parts of the world.
I am also grateful to God for allowing me to enjoy an alternative sport which is cycling. Because of past injuries, I am unable to run or play any contact sports but when I participated in the Charity Bike 'n' Blade as a photographer, I was introduced to the world of cycling. I also made a lot of new friends from the event.
A dear friend, whom I got to know from the cycling trip, and I decided to check out some racing bikes when we came back. Each of us bought a bike after having visited several shops and we have been cycling since. It is a sport I now enjoy thoroughly because it has helped me do some exercise and I have lost a considerable amount of weight since. :)
I also praise God for allowing me to know friends like the one I mentioned in the above paragraph. Though it has just been a few months, I am glad that we have got to know each other better through the cycling sessions and also over meals and other leisure activities.
I have also joined three cycling groups - The Fellowship of the Ride, The Love Cycling Singapore and also The Christ Methodist Church Cycling Club! Though I only know most of them for a couple of months, some of them have already touched my life by praying for me during this difficult period.
That said, I am really thankful to God for giving me friends who have been there for me. They went the extra mile to ask for my prayer needs. Some even messaged me daily to ask how I am. Some even spent time with me over meals. They have indeed been a blessing and I will always remember their love and care forever.
I have to admit that if it were not for them, I would not have been able to pull through this period! God knows I am unable to handle matters on my own and He graciously provided these precious individuals to help me share the load! They have my promise that I will be there for them in their times of struggle. In helping one another, our journey here on earth is made easier to trod. :)
So is it still a lousy year? Nah! It is a matter of perspective. If I focus on the WHOM (God, that is), every trouble pales in comparison because my God is great and nothing is too big for Him to handle especially when it involves His children.
That said, my struggles will still be there but going into the new year, I will fix my eyes on Him and Him alone. Soon, all will come to pass and there will be many more years (whatever that is left) for me to look forward to. :)
If you think I am going to share my resolutions next... well, nope. I will save them for another day. :)
To God be the glory for 2011! :)
"Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever." Psalm 107:1
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