Memories Fading; Hope Rising

I just looked at grandma as she laid on her bed and my heart suddenly sank. Sometimes I feel sad for her especially when I see the emptiness in her eyes. Suffering from dementia, sometimes I cannot fathom what is running in her mind (if at all).

Eversince she has been diagnosed with dementia, my prayer for her has always been asking God to take away all the bad memories first so that the good ones will continue to drive her on in life (whatever that is left of it). Sometimes I also pray (which I hope is a right kind of prayer) that if there is no more meaning for her to live on, that God take her soon so that she can enjoy a life of eternity in heaven with Him.

I have ever been advised to send her to an old folks' home so that proper care can be administered. As much as that is a convenient thing to do, my love for her does not compel me to do so. I have shared this before and I will share again.

Grandma has been the one who has taken care of me since I was a baby and she is still doing so now that I am an adult. No matter how bad her condition is, I will be there for her physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually till she is no more with us. I want her to know that she is still wanted in whatever condition she is in now. All I pray daily is that God gives me that perseverance and also the wisdom to know how to care for her appropriately and also to shower love which I hope will bring a certain sense of peace and assurance in her heart.

Well, I am going to join her to do some marketing after this and hope little things like this will make her day. :)

I am also looking forward to meeting a long-time friend whom I have not met to catch up for a real long time. We are planning the venue and time now and I cannot wait to have a time of fellowship with her.

After that I have to run some errands and then a time of cycling with some dear friends. I am going to take it easy tonight as I have a 90km ride tomorrow from 5.00 to 8.00am. It is a challenge I have taken up for myself and like what a dear brother-in-Christ has encouraged me - finish or not is not the goal. It is the doing and the endurance which matter. :)

Have a great Friday, everyone and a restful weekend ahead! God bless!