Wednesday, August 22, 2007

See The Good In Every Individual

This morning I woke up thinking that I needed to bring mum for her radiotherapy treatment. When I looked at the time, I thought I was going to be late and in my blur state, I jumped out of bed. It was only when I opened my wardrobe to get my new set of clothes that I realised there was no need to go to the hospital anymore. It felt weird but it was a good feeling, knowing that mum is well again.

Mum and dad just came back from their holiday to Vietnam and I praise the Lord that they had a good and relaxing trip. Glad to see them come back with a big smile on their faces. I am intending to cook the family a nice feast for dinner. I thought before I do my grocery-shopping that I come to my favourite coffee joint to blog and also to do some reading first.

Yesterday I received an anonymous email from someone whom I think is a lady. She asked me about how she can learn to accept someone whom she cannot stand. She mentioned that each time she sees this person in office, she would try to avoid him. She knows it is the wrong thing to do and she cannot always avoid him since they are working in the same department.

Since this is an anonymous note I thought I reply on the blog instead so that we can all learn from our experiences as to how we can overcome situations or people as mentioned above.

We need to admit that every person has his good and bad character traits. Some people put us off more than others. I do not know whether it is fair to mention this - we can make things better for ourselves if we can learn to accept the person regardless of the difficulty to do so.

How can we try to accept someone who seems to always irk us? I think for us humans, we tend to always look at the bad points of a person. When that happens, we are affected by him. The challenge for all of us perhaps is trying to do the opposite - why not look at his good points instead? I am sure there are a couple. If we can learn to do that, I am sure over a period time, our impression of the person will change for the better.

Of course this may not be a full-proof solution. Another thing we can do is to perhaps speak to the person and let him know your impression of him. I think it is also good to share with him how we are sometimes irked by his actions. Confrontation is never an easy thing to do but for the sake of both parties, sometimes it is essential. There may be awkwardness and perhaps tension but if this can solve a long-term matter, I think it is worth the while.

Well, if after much consideration, we still think you find it hard to confront, then maybe we can share with someone (not too many lest it becomes a gossip) who is close to this person. He or she will then be able to convey our thoughts to the individual.

We have to be realistic enough to acknowledge that it will take time for relationships to improve. In the meantime, I guess it is vital that we try to live in harmony with each other.

This may not be applied to some - another thing we can do is to pray - first, for ourselves to love the person as God would and to see the person with God's eyes. Then we pray for that individual that God would allow him to be aware of his actions and perhaps cause him to be more sensitive to the people around him.

The worst thing we can do is to do nothing at all. Then our lives will always be miserable. My two-cent worth. It is of course easier said than done but it is possible. I have tried and others have already tried towards my own irritating behaviour. I learnt when someone makes the effort to tell me my shortcomings and from there, I would try to make amends and change for the better. I guess this is how we grow.

Well, I guess that is all.

"He who listens to a life-giving rebuke will be at home among the wise. He who ignores discipline despises himself, but whoever heeds correction gains understanding." Proverbs 15:31-32

Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing." 1 Peter 3:8-9

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