I am now in Ngee Ann City Coffee Bean after I had lunch with three brothers and one sister-in-Christ at Ang Mo Kio Hub. I was thinking of going home but in the end I changed my mind. I thought I come by my favourite joint to do my usual activities of blogging, reading and also journalling.
Frankly I want to stay out longer as I know situations at home have not settled down yet. I am not escaping from it but I just need to gather my thoughts and see how to deal with them.
This morning I woke up with a heavy heart - I decided to send a friend a message to ask her to pray for me. She replied by encouraging me to set it right as soon as possible. I also wish that to happen but I guess it will take time. I did make a move though by messaging my parents to apologise as I know I will not be right if I carried on serving the Lord in drumming without taking any active steps to seek reconciliation. Frankly there is this part of me that keeps telling me that I need not make any moves as I was not in the wrong but I guess I must do what is vital. I may have my pride and all but sometimes it does not matter when what needs to be done right in the sight of God supercedes other factors.
I really hate conflicts with my family and friends as they stick out like a sore thumb and affect me badly. I do not wish all these to happen but they do turn up unexpectedly at times. Hope all these situations will teach me to deal with the next one better.
This morning's sermon challenged me to think of what are some of the things/areas in my life that control me more than God does. On my way to the cafe, I was pondering on them in the train and I guess the followings are a few:-
1) Emotions.
I get affected by people and situations easily. When that happens, it affects my mood - most of the time I would feel disappointed and sad and there were occasions where I get angry. There were yet other times when I feel discouraged.
2) Perfectionism
This is another area of struggle where when I set my mind to do something either for myself or for people or for a ministry or a project, I would want to do it well. I cannot deny that I want the approval of others when I strive for excellence but thanks be to God, I am learning to overcome this motive. Anyway, back to the part on excellence - this can get to my head to the point where I become too driven and aggressive. I become insensitive to the people around and for that matter, I even forget that God is there. I have mellowed but I am still struggling with this.
3) Lack of Confidence
This is probably a scar (or I should say "scars") in me for the past failures that I have experienced which in the present have caused me to not have the confidence in what I do and say. I tend to have fears in me which will then stop me from doing a lot of things that sometimes I feel led to do or say. I would get too conscious of what people would think of me.
4) Gadgets
I am a gadget person. Cameras, computers, Personal Digital Assistants (PDAs) and mobile phones intrigue me to the point where sometimes I wish I can own most of them, if not, all. So in occasions where there are IT Fairs and all, I would just go and spend hours looking at these stuff. This tend to distract me from doing the more important stuff like saving the money for better use and also not to cause others to stumble when I keep changing these equipment. To me, it may seem alright but in the end, others might think that I am showing off or that I am not a good steward of what God has given me.
5) Solitude
This sounds weird but I have decided to include it here. I used this word, "weird," as in a lot of people perceive me to be outgoing and activity-driven person but I am actually one who prefers to be in solitude than be with the crowds. I guess I am in a more "visible" and "public" ministries like worship-leading, music ministry, missions that others tend to see me as what I have mentioned in the first line of this paragraph. This can sometimes become a bad point to the extent where I just do not have the desire to be with the masses. Even if I may be with these crowds, I tend to put up a front which I feel is not good.
The warning my Assistant Pastor gave is to let God control me rather than the above-mentioned. I must admit at times it is tough but I am learning. I pray I will just let God take control of all I do and say and not be too much of a control-freak. If not, one day I would miss the bend along my life's journey, lose control and veer off the road and crash badly.
He offered three points for the congregation to consider in order to let God take control of our lives than people or situations when faced with a dilemma:-
a) Pause
Always take pitstops to reflect and evaluate. What is the state of our lives - are we feeling joyful or discouraged; happy or angry; etc?
b) Prioritise
We need to consider what are the more important things in life - God or ambitions; God or work; God or money; God or people; God or situations; etc? What are the things that rule over us or share the same position as God?
c) Pay
For the decisions we make, we have to pay the price for them. Are we willing to pay for the choices we make? Are we willing to even lose certain pursuits of our lives for something more vital or essential or crucial?
Food for thought, I guess.
This is again a timely reminder - recently I was just asking myself will I one day be a grouchy old man -full of pessimism and bitterness. Of course I do not wish to be one and I guess this is where I need to learn to let go of the things I control too tightly and let God have full control of my life.
I have written enough for today. Thanks be to God for guiding me in playing the drums and for seeing me through the day. I still need His help later as I make my way back that situation at home will improve and that I will not let pride get the better of me when I see my parents.
To God be the glory!
"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in sinful man, in order that the righteous requirements of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the sinful nature but according to the Spirit. Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace; the sinful mind is hostile to God. It does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so. Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God. You, however, are controlled not by the sinful nature but by the Spirit, if the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Christ. But if Christ is in you, your body is dead because of sin, yet your spirit is alive because of righteousness. And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit, who lives in you. Therefore, brothers, we have an obligation—but it is not to the sinful nature, to live according to it. For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live, because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory." Romans 8:1-17
Frankly I want to stay out longer as I know situations at home have not settled down yet. I am not escaping from it but I just need to gather my thoughts and see how to deal with them.
This morning I woke up with a heavy heart - I decided to send a friend a message to ask her to pray for me. She replied by encouraging me to set it right as soon as possible. I also wish that to happen but I guess it will take time. I did make a move though by messaging my parents to apologise as I know I will not be right if I carried on serving the Lord in drumming without taking any active steps to seek reconciliation. Frankly there is this part of me that keeps telling me that I need not make any moves as I was not in the wrong but I guess I must do what is vital. I may have my pride and all but sometimes it does not matter when what needs to be done right in the sight of God supercedes other factors.
I really hate conflicts with my family and friends as they stick out like a sore thumb and affect me badly. I do not wish all these to happen but they do turn up unexpectedly at times. Hope all these situations will teach me to deal with the next one better.
This morning's sermon challenged me to think of what are some of the things/areas in my life that control me more than God does. On my way to the cafe, I was pondering on them in the train and I guess the followings are a few:-
1) Emotions.
I get affected by people and situations easily. When that happens, it affects my mood - most of the time I would feel disappointed and sad and there were occasions where I get angry. There were yet other times when I feel discouraged.
2) Perfectionism
This is another area of struggle where when I set my mind to do something either for myself or for people or for a ministry or a project, I would want to do it well. I cannot deny that I want the approval of others when I strive for excellence but thanks be to God, I am learning to overcome this motive. Anyway, back to the part on excellence - this can get to my head to the point where I become too driven and aggressive. I become insensitive to the people around and for that matter, I even forget that God is there. I have mellowed but I am still struggling with this.
3) Lack of Confidence
This is probably a scar (or I should say "scars") in me for the past failures that I have experienced which in the present have caused me to not have the confidence in what I do and say. I tend to have fears in me which will then stop me from doing a lot of things that sometimes I feel led to do or say. I would get too conscious of what people would think of me.
4) Gadgets
I am a gadget person. Cameras, computers, Personal Digital Assistants (PDAs) and mobile phones intrigue me to the point where sometimes I wish I can own most of them, if not, all. So in occasions where there are IT Fairs and all, I would just go and spend hours looking at these stuff. This tend to distract me from doing the more important stuff like saving the money for better use and also not to cause others to stumble when I keep changing these equipment. To me, it may seem alright but in the end, others might think that I am showing off or that I am not a good steward of what God has given me.
5) Solitude
This sounds weird but I have decided to include it here. I used this word, "weird," as in a lot of people perceive me to be outgoing and activity-driven person but I am actually one who prefers to be in solitude than be with the crowds. I guess I am in a more "visible" and "public" ministries like worship-leading, music ministry, missions that others tend to see me as what I have mentioned in the first line of this paragraph. This can sometimes become a bad point to the extent where I just do not have the desire to be with the masses. Even if I may be with these crowds, I tend to put up a front which I feel is not good.
The warning my Assistant Pastor gave is to let God control me rather than the above-mentioned. I must admit at times it is tough but I am learning. I pray I will just let God take control of all I do and say and not be too much of a control-freak. If not, one day I would miss the bend along my life's journey, lose control and veer off the road and crash badly.
He offered three points for the congregation to consider in order to let God take control of our lives than people or situations when faced with a dilemma:-
a) Pause
Always take pitstops to reflect and evaluate. What is the state of our lives - are we feeling joyful or discouraged; happy or angry; etc?
b) Prioritise
We need to consider what are the more important things in life - God or ambitions; God or work; God or money; God or people; God or situations; etc? What are the things that rule over us or share the same position as God?
c) Pay
For the decisions we make, we have to pay the price for them. Are we willing to pay for the choices we make? Are we willing to even lose certain pursuits of our lives for something more vital or essential or crucial?
Food for thought, I guess.
This is again a timely reminder - recently I was just asking myself will I one day be a grouchy old man -full of pessimism and bitterness. Of course I do not wish to be one and I guess this is where I need to learn to let go of the things I control too tightly and let God have full control of my life.
I have written enough for today. Thanks be to God for guiding me in playing the drums and for seeing me through the day. I still need His help later as I make my way back that situation at home will improve and that I will not let pride get the better of me when I see my parents.
To God be the glory!
"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in sinful man, in order that the righteous requirements of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the sinful nature but according to the Spirit. Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace; the sinful mind is hostile to God. It does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so. Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God. You, however, are controlled not by the sinful nature but by the Spirit, if the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Christ. But if Christ is in you, your body is dead because of sin, yet your spirit is alive because of righteousness. And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit, who lives in you. Therefore, brothers, we have an obligation—but it is not to the sinful nature, to live according to it. For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live, because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory." Romans 8:1-17
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