Boasting About Our Weaknesses

Yesterday I wrote that if I see Yi-ge again today, I would sit down and chat with him. Well, I did not get to meet him when I was on my way to the MRT station but I met his maid. It was good that I chanced upon her. I asked her a couple of questions - apparently Yi-ge speaks Hokkien and Mandarin and he had a stroke about two years ago. He was totally immobilised when he first got the attack but his condition has improved since.

All these information are useful to me as they will aid me in my conversation with Yi-ge. He can also read Chinese books so I was thinking of getting him a Christian literature - maybe a testimony about someone who was in the same predicament as he is.

May the Lord provide for me accordingly.

I have this feeling I am going to fall sick again - I am sniffing and feeling a little lethargic. It did not help that during the Missions Committee meeting in church just now, one of my siblings-in-Christ is down with flu. I am praying for the Lord to protect me physically due to my service as a worship leader this Sunday.

Talked about the Missions Committee meeting, I would like to thank God for guiding us through it. I was not looking forward to the session as there are just too many major matters to discuss. I felt really helpless and weak but God once again showed me that His power has been made perfect in my weakness. He saw us through the two hours spent together. I left the room with more excitement than fear. Thanks be to God for that! There are still many things to look into but I shall remind myself that my God will be there to see me through them all! One thing to also give thanks to Him for - many more in the church are coming forth to express their desires to be involved in the work of missions. It is very encouraging to note this wind of change in the church.

When I came home and after I had a nice, refreshing bath, a dear sister sent me a song called "Look On The Bright Side Of Life" over the MSN as an encouragement. Though it is a secular song, it served as a good reminder that I need to look on the bright side of life and not let troubles or disappointments take away the joy of living. Funnily, my body began to sway left and right as I listened to it. After playing the song a couple more times, my body seemed to sway even more vigorously and everything else around me also seemed to be swaying. Anyway, praise the Lord for the timely gift from my sister-in-Christ!

It has been a day of uncertainties but God cleared the air for me! Oh ya, before I end, I want to share that today machines and I did not get along well. I was in the church office - I was shredding some papers and the shredder jammed; I was photostating some documents and the machine jammed; my notebook hung when I was reading some past minutes of the Missions Committee meetings. Well, in the end all problems were resolved though. Hallelujah!

"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." 2 Corinthians 12:9

The Powerful Name Of Jesus!

Today I have a couple of interesting encounters to share. A few months ago I wrote about this man in my estate who suffered from stroke and is partially immobilised and how Sasha, my doggy, jumped onto his lap one fine morning when he was seated at the void-deck. I also shared about how he had never smiled till that day when Sasha did her leap of friendship. The gentleman's name is Yi-ge.

I hesitated about writing this earlier but now I want to see it as a sign from God for me to reach out to this man. It is just so "coincidental" that every day, no matter what time I leave my home, I would bump into Yi-ge. What are the chances of this happening more than once? Each time we met, he would be the first to smile at me and I would return that kind gesture by asking him whether he has eaten. He would nod his head as he was unable to speak properly. After that I would wave goodbye to him and move on.

The next time I meet him, I will want to sit down and speak to him. May the Lord give me that opportunity soon and may He use me to minister to this child of His.

I was with my God-sister at the Millennia Walk Coffee Bean in the afternoon where she was doing her revision for her 'O' level preliminary examinations while I was preparing for a Missions Committee meeting tomorrow. We ordered a couple of drinks and food. I want to thank God for the friendship that I have made with some of the staff at this branch. As I was not that hungry, I decided to order a kid's size pasta. Yes, a big Andy Chew eating a kid's portion. Anyway, one of the supervisers informed me that the dish would be served to us so my God-sis and I headed back to our table. When the food came, the portion was much bigger and the superviser told me she has given me more. I was quite touched by her kind gesture. Haha. Maybe she thought the kid's portion might not be enough for me.

It has never occurred to me that even in a restaurant that we sometimes frequent can give us opportunities to make friends if some efforts are being made to know the names of the staff. After a few more smiles; a conversation made; and a few words of appreciation for their services rendered, a friendship can develop from here. I guess we just have to be more aware of the people whom we usually come across. Instead of just treating them as passers-by, we should use every opportunity to go a step further and maybe in that extra effort taken, something good might come out of it.

We always say it is tough. I used to think it that way but trust me, after trying a couple of times, it is not that difficult. It is a matter of whether we want to or not.

The third incident was the most bizarre. Scary, as a matter of fact. I was walking towards the stairs which leads to my flat when I bumped into one of the old folks who usually plays Chinese chess at the void-deck. I could see him talking to himself and when I walked closer to this elderly man, I could hear him bumbling about the void-deck being so crowded when I could not even see a soul around us.

I asked the man what he was saying and he commented that tonight there are exceptionally more people around compared to other days. As I was sure there was no one at the void-deck except the both of us, I told him so. I felt the jitters and the goose-bumps though. As I sensed there might be some spiritual elements in our midst, I prayed in the name of Jesus for all these "things" to flee. You know what? Almost immediately when I finished my prayers, the uncle told me "bo lang liao" - it meant in Hokkien as, "no one already." I did not utter my prayers out loud - that basically takes away the possibility of the uncle hearing what I said to God. I would say that this was an encounter with the spiritual forces. But as always, the name of Jesus is more powerful than any other names.

I am not sharing this because it is the seventh month of the lunar calendar where many believe it is the period where the gates of hell are opened for the spirits to wander and find food, etc. As a Christian, I believe that spirits are everywhere any day, any time so this is possibly one of the rare incidents where I am the one encountering it. I am glad I had my God with me just now.

Well, so much for all that. Tomorrow is the first day of COMEX, an annual IT Fair, in Suntec City. Should I go or should I avoid it? Haha. Knowing me, I will be there in one of the four days. I remembered what my Assistant Pastor preached about last Sunday as in his challenge for us to consider whether are there other better things for us to do than spending a few hours looking at the latest gadgets and best bargains? I shall pray about this later before I sleep.

Thanks be to God for everything today - for His providence, for the experiences He has given me, for His protection upon me.

"Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you." James 4:7

"This girl followed Paul and the rest of us, shouting, "These men are servants of the Most High God, who are telling you the way to be saved." She kept this up for many days. Finally Paul became so troubled that he turned around and said to the spirit, "In the name of Jesus Christ I command you to come out of her!" At that moment the spirit left her." Acts 16:17-18

Real Friends Are Gems, Not Pests!

I just met a dear brother-in-Christ. He was my ex-student, now serving as a full-time youth worker in his church. I am blogging this with his permission as I felt the need to include this in today's blog. He called me last night to request for a meeting as he has been very discouraged with his ministry.

Just as much as he is trying his best to reach out to the youths, he said it is just so tough to minister to them especially those whom he has a burdened for. I shared the same feeling as my brother as I am going through the same experience now. He was telling me how some of them live their lives as if the world owes them something - very bitter, hostile and always angry. Vulgarities are commonly used to express their frustrations.

A couple of times he was told off by them not to be such a busybody and to just mind his own business. Some simply just ignored his calls and smses. There were many occasions he wanted to give up but he said if Jesus did not give up on the people He was reaching out to, why should he?

I reminded my dear brother that the price one has to pay in reaching out to people is that of rejection and pain. There will be some who appreciate our ministry to them and there are others who do not. What matters, above all else, is that we continue to press on and surrender these persons to God. It is so easy to judge those who treat us negatively but we must always see every one with the eyes of God and to continue to love them no matter what.

I want to encourage those who are in people-ministries to always believe that God will one day touch the lives whom we have a burden for. The worst thing that can ever happen is simply washing our hands off those who are not so nice to us because these are the very people who need the love and care and support. The devil wins if we were to just raise the white flag. Some may not appreciate us for now but eventually if we show them our sincerity in wanting to be a friend to them, I believe God can bless these souls through us.

I want to encourage all my siblings-in-Christ who are serving the Lord to be in an accountability group. I have two groups and I must testify that it has been an encouraging journey that we are going through together - sharing with one another the joy and pain of ministry. Having a few like-minded friends in accountability makes our service to God and His people a more pleasant experience even during occasions where they are rather demoralising.

I would also want to say something to those whom their friends are trying to reach out to. Please appreciate these persons - I believe it is because they love and care for you that they want to be a part of your life. They could have simply walked away and be angry by all the remarks you make against them. The fact that they are discouraged showed how much you mean to them. I am sharing this not to put you down but to simply remind all of us that we cannot walk our life's journey alone. It is possible but it is a lot harder as compared to having friends being there to travel with you and carrying the loads when the going gets tough. There are times when you want to be alone, I am sure your friends will respect that but do not shut them out completely.

The world does not owe us anything but we do owe God the favours He has shown us (especially the one painful thing He did on the cross - setting us free from the bondages of sin and death) and our friends the love and care they shower upon us. Surely we all have feelings - if you could feel the pain and injustices in your life, I believe your friends would also feel the hurt when you treat them harshly and insensitively.

Well, let us all learn to glorify God in all that we do, at the end of the day. May God also be our help in times of need. He will never fail us.

Those who have been reading my blogs may have now concluded that I am a Coffee Bean fanatic. Yup, I am now at the Millennia Walk branch. After talking to my brother, I decided to stay on and catch up with my reading and do all the other usual stuff. Just in the span of an hour, I bumped into two friends - one from my church and the other who is not but joins a small group in the church. I am glad to have caught up with them even though it was just for a short while.

"If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others." Philippians 2:1-4

"Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing." 1 Thessalonians 5:11

"Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching." Hebrews 10:23-25

It's Not That Bad Afterall

I just finished preparing for the worship session for this Sunday's 11:15am service. I am scheduled to lead again. Though it was just two weeks ago that I served as a Worship Leader, I am fine with being rostered again as it is always a joy to serve the Lord and also to worship Him with the rest of my siblings-in-Christ! It is my prayer that the Lord will be pleased with the offerings we give to Him as a church.

In one of my blogs I wrote not too long ago, I shared about this particular Coffee Bean staff in the Ngee Ann City branch who did not smile whenever I smiled at him. I also shared that in one of my visits to this joint, he returned a smile. Well, yesterday another progress was made. He was cleaning the table next to mine and as always, I would just smile at him. To my surprise, other than returning the smile, he also spoke to me. As this gentleman is intellectually slower than others, he was trying to tell me that he would be knocking off from work soon. He took out his watch and showed me the time which he would be going home.

I praise the Lord for allowing the both of us to know each other better and breaking the ice. I have yet to know his name and I will try to ask him the next time I see him. I am actually at the branch now but he seems to be off-duty today. Another time, I guess.

Another thing I want to praise the Lord for. Yesterday when I reached home, I greeted my parents and thanks be to God, they acknowledged it. Well, we are not talking as much yet but I think this is already a progress. This morning mum asked whether I wanted to eat breakfast and I basically declined as I was not hungry. I hope later when I go home, there will be more opportunities for us to interact.

I just met my friends' friend who happened to pop by the cafe for a drink and also to do a tele-conferencing to China. I did not notice her and felt quite weird when I noticed this lady walking towards me and standing next to me. She was one of the helpers for my friends' wedding a few years back and I was surprised that she still remembers me. We forgot each other's names so we had to re-introduce ourselves to one another.

Well, I guess situations like the three I mentioned above do make one's day just as much as on some other days we may be faced with unpleasant incidents which tend to affect us in a negative sense.

No matter what, thanks be to God for them. I am learning not to let unpleasant matters to affect me easily but to look at them as opportunities for me to learn and overcome my weaknesses and shortcomings.

“You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you.” Isaiah 26:3

"Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken." Isaiah 62:5-6

DANGER: Bend Ahead!

I am now in Ngee Ann City Coffee Bean after I had lunch with three brothers and one sister-in-Christ at Ang Mo Kio Hub. I was thinking of going home but in the end I changed my mind. I thought I come by my favourite joint to do my usual activities of blogging, reading and also journalling.

Frankly I want to stay out longer as I know situations at home have not settled down yet. I am not escaping from it but I just need to gather my thoughts and see how to deal with them.

This morning I woke up with a heavy heart - I decided to send a friend a message to ask her to pray for me. She replied by encouraging me to set it right as soon as possible. I also wish that to happen but I guess it will take time. I did make a move though by messaging my parents to apologise as I know I will not be right if I carried on serving the Lord in drumming without taking any active steps to seek reconciliation. Frankly there is this part of me that keeps telling me that I need not make any moves as I was not in the wrong but I guess I must do what is vital. I may have my pride and all but sometimes it does not matter when what needs to be done right in the sight of God supercedes other factors.

I really hate conflicts with my family and friends as they stick out like a sore thumb and affect me badly. I do not wish all these to happen but they do turn up unexpectedly at times. Hope all these situations will teach me to deal with the next one better.

This morning's sermon challenged me to think of what are some of the things/areas in my life that control me more than God does. On my way to the cafe, I was pondering on them in the train and I guess the followings are a few:-

1) Emotions.

I get affected by people and situations easily. When that happens, it affects my mood - most of the time I would feel disappointed and sad and there were occasions where I get angry. There were yet other times when I feel discouraged.

2) Perfectionism

This is another area of struggle where when I set my mind to do something either for myself or for people or for a ministry or a project, I would want to do it well. I cannot deny that I want the approval of others when I strive for excellence but thanks be to God, I am learning to overcome this motive. Anyway, back to the part on excellence - this can get to my head to the point where I become too driven and aggressive. I become insensitive to the people around and for that matter, I even forget that God is there. I have mellowed but I am still struggling with this.

3) Lack of Confidence

This is probably a scar (or I should say "scars") in me for the past failures that I have experienced which in the present have caused me to not have the confidence in what I do and say. I tend to have fears in me which will then stop me from doing a lot of things that sometimes I feel led to do or say. I would get too conscious of what people would think of me.

4) Gadgets

I am a gadget person. Cameras, computers, Personal Digital Assistants (PDAs) and mobile phones intrigue me to the point where sometimes I wish I can own most of them, if not, all. So in occasions where there are IT Fairs and all, I would just go and spend hours looking at these stuff. This tend to distract me from doing the more important stuff like saving the money for better use and also not to cause others to stumble when I keep changing these equipment. To me, it may seem alright but in the end, others might think that I am showing off or that I am not a good steward of what God has given me.

5) Solitude

This sounds weird but I have decided to include it here. I used this word, "weird," as in a lot of people perceive me to be outgoing and activity-driven person but I am actually one who prefers to be in solitude than be with the crowds. I guess I am in a more "visible" and "public" ministries like worship-leading, music ministry, missions that others tend to see me as what I have mentioned in the first line of this paragraph. This can sometimes become a bad point to the extent where I just do not have the desire to be with the masses. Even if I may be with these crowds, I tend to put up a front which I feel is not good.

The warning my Assistant Pastor gave is to let God control me rather than the above-mentioned. I must admit at times it is tough but I am learning. I pray I will just let God take control of all I do and say and not be too much of a control-freak. If not, one day I would miss the bend along my life's journey, lose control and veer off the road and crash badly.

He offered three points for the congregation to consider in order to let God take control of our lives than people or situations when faced with a dilemma:-

a) Pause

Always take pitstops to reflect and evaluate. What is the state of our lives - are we feeling joyful or discouraged; happy or angry; etc?

b) Prioritise

We need to consider what are the more important things in life - God or ambitions; God or work; God or money; God or people; God or situations; etc? What are the things that rule over us or share the same position as God?

c) Pay

For the decisions we make, we have to pay the price for them. Are we willing to pay for the choices we make? Are we willing to even lose certain pursuits of our lives for something more vital or essential or crucial?

Food for thought, I guess.

This is again a timely reminder - recently I was just asking myself will I one day be a grouchy old man -full of pessimism and bitterness. Of course I do not wish to be one and I guess this is where I need to learn to let go of the things I control too tightly and let God have full control of my life.

I have written enough for today. Thanks be to God for guiding me in playing the drums and for seeing me through the day. I still need His help later as I make my way back that situation at home will improve and that I will not let pride get the better of me when I see my parents.

To God be the glory!

"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in sinful man, in order that the righteous requirements of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the sinful nature but according to the Spirit. Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace; the sinful mind is hostile to God. It does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so. Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God. You, however, are controlled not by the sinful nature but by the Spirit, if the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Christ. But if Christ is in you, your body is dead because of sin, yet your spirit is alive because of righteousness. And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit, who lives in you. Therefore, brothers, we have an obligation—but it is not to the sinful nature, to live according to it. For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live, because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory." Romans 8:1-17

Got Devoured Today!

On my way home just now around 6 plus, I told myself I would not let this morning's incident of my polo-tee to affect my relationship with mum. But... yup, there is a but. When I got home, mum made this comment as to why I made such a big fuss about the stains when she could not see them at all. That detonated the fuse in me and I told her it is not about whether the stains are there or not, it is about being more careful next time. What disappointed me was the fact that I took about an hour to use various sorts of stain-removers available at home to deal with the damage and yet what I got from her was an insensitive remark.

I do not know whether this is a spiritual attack or not. When I rebutted, dad told me not to be rude to mum - which part of our conversation was I being rude? I was merely stating facts and giving a reminder and for that I was deemed to be rude.

Anyway, I could have blown the matter way out of proportion to justify what I have mentioned but I chose not to and walked away. I went out again to Chjimes to watch the Sunderland-Liverpool match. I had to go out of the house as I knew it would not do every one good if I had remained at home.

Tomorrow I am serving the Lord in the Worship Team and I have unsettled matters with my parents. How am I going to be fully focused and also to worship God wholeheartedly? Sigh.

I just got home. When I was walking to the MRT station at Raffles City, I prayed and asked the Lord to help me. I know what I need to do and that is to be reconciled with my parents. I just hope they will be more reasonable and understand what I was trying to say to them earlier in the evening. Anyway, I am just going to say sorry to them and nothing else as I believe I have already made my point and there is no need to repeat them.

Never knew an incident like a polo-tee can escalate to the point where three persons are affected. I guess this is a classic example of the devil being depicted as a roaring lion prowling around waiting to devour any one in its path.

I was looking forward to a restful and meaningful weekend but nothing of that sort so far. In fact, I am more tired now than any other days combined.

Anyway, I guess God did answer my prayers on the part of removing the stains. There are still very faint patches of the dye from mum's blouse but they should go away after a few more washes.

One of those adventures in life that I would rather avoid but it was not to be for the above-mentioned. If you were in my shoes, would you have reacted like I did? If Jesus was in my shoes, what would He have done? I wonder.

"Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." 1 Peter 5:8

One Of Those Days...

The beginning of the weekend did not start off well for me. I did all my laundry this morning and was about to hang them up when I noticed a dark-coloured blouse (belonging to mum) was placed next to my yellow polo-tee. I panicked as I was afraid the colour of mum's top might stain mine. True enough, my fear came true.

Three brown patches of different sizes were marked on the lower part of the polo-tee. I was fuming mad as I knew it would be difficult to remove them. I also knew the top was not cheap and it was a gift from someone. I called mum and questioned her why did she not think about the risk of staining my clothes or for that matter anybody else's? Though she apologised, I still did not cool down.

I tried my best to remove the stains but they were still there. I decided to soak them in detergent and hot water. After that I had to go out for lunch with some friends. I have no idea whether I can solve this problem. It would be such a waste that nothing can be done about it. Sigh.

I know I could have tried to cool down. Not trying to justify for my blow-up but I have been rather patient in other incidents where the same thing happened. This time I felt I needed to say my piece as I cannot let this keep going on where one after another of my clothes are being destroyed by other people's carelessness. It is very irritating to see such situations happening when I make an effort to take care of the things I have. Yes, I can always buy a new piece of polo-tee but that is not the point.

I have more or less cooled down but the pain of knowing that the damage on my polo-tee may not be reversed pains my heart. I spent some time in prayer to seek the Lord's forgiveness if I had sinned against Him in the process of this. I also asked Him to help me remove the stains. I also prayed for my parents and every one in the family that they will be more careful the next time they wash their clothes. Mum has destroyed three of my tops (inlcuding this one), dad and bro each damaged one and grandma stained two (both occasions when she was dying her hair). Seven in total - how can I not be angry? It is really a waste.

I went for a walk with my doggy when I woke up at around 7am. I tried to run but struggled as the pain around my knees still lingers. Sigh. In the end I just walked - I wonder how much calories I burnt doing that. Anyway, praise God that I still have the ability to walk. I have this fear one day I may not be able to. Even my Senior Pastor commented that I am limping more these days. So be it if one day I have to be confined to a wheelchair.

Okie, shall stop here. I shall go to Kinokuniya and Borders to check out some books after this.

"Strengthen the feeble hands, steady the knees that give way; say to those with fearful hearts, "Be strong, do not fear; your God will come,... he will come to save you." Isaiah 35:3-4

Is Our Alignment Off?

I brought mum to the hospital to collect her medical report. It is now confirmed that she is cleared of all cancer. Thanks be to God for that. The condition of her diabetes is still quite bad and the doctor advised her to control her diet and also to monitor the condition regularly. Mum and dad decided to go out for lunch while I am back in Millennia Walk Coffee Bean to do my usual stuff. I guess I do not have much time left to enjoy such leisure activities before going back to work proper next month.

I got an email this morning from a brother-in-Christ. He is apparently from Scotland. He asked how and why is it wrong to gain the acceptance of man? I did not say that it is wrong for one to do so. I basically used the word "saddens" and I also thought I share my thoughts so that we can evaluate on this area of our lives.

I think we need to always be cautious when we try to win the favours of others. Usually in doing so, we tend to make some compromises. Some points for us to consider:-

1) What are our motives? Are we manipulating others?

2) Do we reach a point where we belittle ourselves, suck up to others and lose our dignity and pride in the process?

3) Are we losing the joy in our lives and in the things we do? Are we feeling tired? Do we get frustrated and angry easily?

4) Are we beginning to doubt ourselves, losing confidence in what we do?

If our answers are mostly, "yes," and negative then the alarm bell should ring loudly in us. God is probably prompting us not to sell our souls just so that we can have a place in this world.

The other sure test is this - where is God in all these pursuits to win the favour of man and find our worth in the standards set by the world? Have we ever consulted Him?

If He is totally out of the equation, then our alignment is off. How can the God of our lives not be included in all the above-mentioned when He should have the biggest say in our thoughts and actions?

Well, I hope I have answered the queries of my Scottish brother-in-Christ.

I guess that is all I have to share on this. I need to head to church later for the Worship Team rehearsal. A brother-in-Christ was supposed to play the drums for this Sunday but because of the demise of his grandpa, he is unable to do so now. I decided to replace him when a request was made by the Worship Leader to cover the vacant slot.

I am feeling super cold here. Cannot wait to get out of here soon.

"A good man obtains favor from the LORD, but the LORD condemns a crafty man." Proverbs 12:2

"Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to win their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord. Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. Anyone who does wrong will be repaid for his wrong, and there is no favoritism." Colossians 3:22-25

Win God's Favour, Not Man's

I am actually very tired now and it is only 4:30pm. I could not sleep this morning when I went to bed. Tried as best as I could, I still tossed and turned and basically stared blankly at the ceiling. In the end I just took the time to pray and read a book. That went on till around 4 plus in the morning.

In the course of my reading, I was inspired to write a poem - not perfect as compared to some of the greatest we have heard but I thought I still share it in this blog.

Journey of Faith

The journey of life
is filled with nothing but strife.
Obstacles big and small pave the way,
sometimes they make one's life sway.
I asked God why must things be so?
He told me to trust Him,
as these struggles make me grow.
I replied, "my human strength is but limited."
"Do not be afraid," my Lord repeated.
What lies ahead of me I do not know,
only in Christ alone will He show.
To Him now I commit my hurt and pain
For there is no one else to break my chain.
Life will always be a faith-journey,
may God continue to make my legs sturdy
to withstand life's agony.
To God be all the glory!

I wrote this because there are still a lot of uncertainties in some areas of my life. Sometimes I tried to deal with them in my own abilities but all I get in return is pain and disappointments. It can be tiring but I have no choice but to face them. I just hope I will remember to include God in the picture.

I had a good time of fellowship with my accountability group. We decided to meet over lunch as later we need to attend a wake of a brother-in-Christ's grandfather. Today we shared about our weaknesses so that we can help one another overcome them with God's help. I am glad we were able to be opened and willing to share our shortcomings. I hope these will remind us that on our own we may not be able to gain victory over our struggles but when we come together to help one another, it will be a lot easier.

One topic we shared saddens my heart. It is regarding the struggle with always trying to gain people's acceptance. How sometimes we find our worth based on the standards set by the world. It will always cry out to us, "If you do not meet these criterion then you are never good enough."

My question is, "When will it ever be good enough?" To me, this strife will go on and on and on and one will never ever be satisfied. Even Christians fall into this trap and we go along with the patterns of this world.

It is not wrong to be ambitious and to work towards excellence but if we believe that our worth can only found in this world then let us re-evaluate. Where is God in all these pursuits? Do we care about what He thinks of us? Do we do things for the sake of the Lord? Are we honouring Him or man?

Life, to me, is to be enjoyed because this is just a transition. We will not always be on this earth forever. Why let strife take away the joy of living? Does it matter that much what people think of us? So what if we are different from the perception this world has of all mankind? Does it make us weird? In fact, as Christians, we are told to be different. The question is "Do we dare to be so?" Have we got the guts to stand against the norms? I am also reflecting on these questions because it is never easy but it is also not impossible.

Well, may God be our help. I sure hope I will not leave God out in everything I do. I am sure if I honour Him, He will honour me in return and it will definitely be far more than I ever imagine.

I am in a very reflective mood these few days. I hope I can learn some lessons during this period.

I am now in Millennia Walk Coffee Bean. The time now is 5:45pm. I took so long to write this blog because as I was in the midst of typing, one of the supervisers came over to speak to me. She was curious to know why I come so often to this joint for the past few weeks and asked me about my occupation and all. Well, I answered her questions accordingly. When she heard that I blog regularly, she asked whether I could give her my blog details. I hope she will be blest as she reads what I write.

Well, I am waiting for 6pm to come... all cakes will be sold at 50% off. Actually this is one of the reasons why I like to visit this branch as it is the only one I know which gives such good discounts. I hesistate to give out this information as it would mean some who are reading my blog will know of this good deal and compete with me in buying the yummy desserts. :) Nah, it is good to share such deals so that all can enjoy.

Time to go. Thanks be to God for what I am going through now. It will come to past soon.

"Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you." Romans 12:1-3

See The Good In Every Individual

This morning I woke up thinking that I needed to bring mum for her radiotherapy treatment. When I looked at the time, I thought I was going to be late and in my blur state, I jumped out of bed. It was only when I opened my wardrobe to get my new set of clothes that I realised there was no need to go to the hospital anymore. It felt weird but it was a good feeling, knowing that mum is well again.

Mum and dad just came back from their holiday to Vietnam and I praise the Lord that they had a good and relaxing trip. Glad to see them come back with a big smile on their faces. I am intending to cook the family a nice feast for dinner. I thought before I do my grocery-shopping that I come to my favourite coffee joint to blog and also to do some reading first.

Yesterday I received an anonymous email from someone whom I think is a lady. She asked me about how she can learn to accept someone whom she cannot stand. She mentioned that each time she sees this person in office, she would try to avoid him. She knows it is the wrong thing to do and she cannot always avoid him since they are working in the same department.

Since this is an anonymous note I thought I reply on the blog instead so that we can all learn from our experiences as to how we can overcome situations or people as mentioned above.

We need to admit that every person has his good and bad character traits. Some people put us off more than others. I do not know whether it is fair to mention this - we can make things better for ourselves if we can learn to accept the person regardless of the difficulty to do so.

How can we try to accept someone who seems to always irk us? I think for us humans, we tend to always look at the bad points of a person. When that happens, we are affected by him. The challenge for all of us perhaps is trying to do the opposite - why not look at his good points instead? I am sure there are a couple. If we can learn to do that, I am sure over a period time, our impression of the person will change for the better.

Of course this may not be a full-proof solution. Another thing we can do is to perhaps speak to the person and let him know your impression of him. I think it is also good to share with him how we are sometimes irked by his actions. Confrontation is never an easy thing to do but for the sake of both parties, sometimes it is essential. There may be awkwardness and perhaps tension but if this can solve a long-term matter, I think it is worth the while.

Well, if after much consideration, we still think you find it hard to confront, then maybe we can share with someone (not too many lest it becomes a gossip) who is close to this person. He or she will then be able to convey our thoughts to the individual.

We have to be realistic enough to acknowledge that it will take time for relationships to improve. In the meantime, I guess it is vital that we try to live in harmony with each other.

This may not be applied to some - another thing we can do is to pray - first, for ourselves to love the person as God would and to see the person with God's eyes. Then we pray for that individual that God would allow him to be aware of his actions and perhaps cause him to be more sensitive to the people around him.

The worst thing we can do is to do nothing at all. Then our lives will always be miserable. My two-cent worth. It is of course easier said than done but it is possible. I have tried and others have already tried towards my own irritating behaviour. I learnt when someone makes the effort to tell me my shortcomings and from there, I would try to make amends and change for the better. I guess this is how we grow.

Well, I guess that is all.

"He who listens to a life-giving rebuke will be at home among the wise. He who ignores discipline despises himself, but whoever heeds correction gains understanding." Proverbs 15:31-32

Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing." 1 Peter 3:8-9

Make The Best Of Today

I came back about two hours ago from the home of two dear brothers-in-Christ whose grandfather passed away suddenly in his room. I was in church msn-ing a few people and was preparing to go home at around 7pm when I got a message from one of the above two brothers informing me that his grandpa has stopped breathing. Though he said he has called his father, I still did not feel at ease and decided to head for his place to see whether I could assist in any way. Thanks to one of the church staff who gave me a lift, I was able to reach their place quickly. I shall leave it as that and not write further. I stayed on to help as much I could. I pray the Lord will prepare the way for the family especially tomorrow in the funeral arrangements.

The incident above has reminded me again how fleeting life can be. One will never know when his time on earth will last. If that is case, why worry so much about what the future holds when what matters is the today we need to enjoy and find meaning in? I guess it is a timely reminder for me especially in what I shared in my previous blog about how frustrating it can be trying to find out what my future (relationship with God and people, ministy prospects, marriage, career, etc.) lies. The future does not matter when one cannot even enjoy and find purpose in the present.

Well, there are still a few things in my life that I need to surrender fully to God and also to seek what His will is. Whatever and however I can, I will continue to dwell in the goodness of the Lord and let Him use me accordingly.

Thanks be to God for the every day He gives us!

"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:33-34

Trusting God For The Unknown

This morning I went to MacRitchie Reservoir to spend some time with the Lord. When I saw people running, I felt kind of sad that I am unable to run for the time being. Though I am thankful to God that my knees are much better, I guess I will not strain them again by running so soon.

I had a good time spent with the Lord though I went to the reservoir with a heavy heart. I basically shared with Him some areas of concern regarding my life and just took the time to worship Him and also to read His Word. It was refreshing though I still do not know what His answers are for me yet.

Sometimes it is frustrating not knowing exactly what the future holds but I was reminded that I have to continue to trust and seek the Lord constantly so that He will show me the way. Well, life is a journey - I guess it is for me to press on and do what is right in the eyes of God and man.

I am now in church. I had a meeting with the Youth Ministry intern to discuss with him about the mission trip to be held in December. Though there are a lot of uncertainties as in the people going and the objectives, we submitted to the Lord in prayer and trust that He will provide the people and also to direct us accordingly as to what we can do for the Khmer people.

Well, I have got nothing much to write today. I will blog again should there be anything else.

“By day the LORD directs his love, at night his song is with me— a prayer to the God of my life.” Psalm 42:8

"The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song." Psalm 28:7

Consequence Of Uncompromised Living

I do not know why but after leading worship yesterday at the service, I felt so exhausted that I did not have anymore energy to do anything else. After lunch, I went home and basically rested. This is the first time I experienced this.

I want to thank God for leading and guiding me throughout the service. Even just before it commenced I was still battling with this motive of winning the favours of man, as I have shared in my previous blog. The temptation was so great that I just did not feel like leading at all.

As I stood in front of the congregation, I whispered a prayer to ask God to transform my thoughts. In the file in front of me were the words I wanted to share. I basically ignored those scripts I prepared and told the Lord I would just let Him speak through me as the service progressed. I did that so that I could remind myself that I had no other choice then but to trust fully in Him to lead me along.

This is the drastic measure I had to take just so that all glory went to my God Almighty and also to not let my pride got the better of me. I asked a few dear friends to pray for me in this struggle and I want to thank them for interceding for me throughout.

I enjoyed the worship so much that even though I stood in front of the church, I was oblivious to their presence but just praised God with all that I had. I was soaked in the very presence of my Lord and I hope the congregation experienced that too. I shared a thanksgiving with the church about mum's healing. Even before I could finished my first sentence, I was choked with emotions as I was overwhelmed by God's goodness in my life. Thank God I managed to compose myself and testified His faithfulness and mercy upon mum to my siblings-in-Christ! Hallelujah!

Yesterday's sermon was on "The Consequences of Uncompromised Living." Usually when the word "consequence" is being used, it refers to a result or effect that someone had to bear for something he did. Usually it has a bad or negative connotation but the message delivered at the service showed us that there is also a result and effect in living an uncompromised life but something good instead will come out of it.

The church was challenged to know God deeper and to find our identity in Him. In doing so, we will then know what God has to say on issues we struggle with and as His children, we would choose to please Him and obey what He tells us. In knowing who God is also assures in us that what He wants of us is always for our good and benefit. Basically we were urged to say "yes" to godliness and holiness and "no" to sin! The message also caused the people to consider the way we carry ourselves as Christians in this world we live in - are we being a good testimony to the people around us or are we stumbling them by the constant compromises we make?

As I was praying before I went to bed last night, it brought to my realisation that what I struggled with in terms of winning glory to self in my role as a worship leader prior to the service was exactly what the sermon was trying to hit on. If I had compromised, probably I would not have been able to share about the above-mentioned, as in the Lord's goodness. I would continue to feel lousy and guilty but now that I know I did the right thing, there is no fear in me of anyone accusing me of doing anything wrong. Thanks be to God for allowing me to experience literally the consequence of uncompromised living.

On Saturday I wrote I wanted to share the "Manifesto of a Lion-Slayer" once I have obtained the powerpoint file from my senior pastor. Well, here goes:-

1) Quit living as if the purpose of life is to arrive safely at death.

2) Grab life by the mane.

3) Set God-sized goals

4) Pursue God-ordained passions.

5) Keep asking questions. Keep making mistakes. Keep seeking God.

6) Stop pointing out the problems and become part of the solution.

7) Stop repeating the past and start creating the future.

8) Consider the sparrows and the lilies.

9) Don’t let what is wrong with you keep you from worshipping what is right with God.

10) Blaze a new trail.

11) Criticize by creating.

12) Worry less about what people think and more about what God thinks.

13) Laugh at ourselves

14) Don’t try to be who you are not.

15) Quit running away.

16) Chase the lion!

Food for thought as we ponder on each of the above 16 points. Yesterday evening I went to a birthday cum farewell party for a brother-in-Christ. There was a band engaged by my friend's father and during the gig, a few of us were invited to play the instruments with the professionals. I played the drums when the song "La Bamba" was being sung and it was fun to just jam along. It was stressful though - playing with a band that has been in the music business for so many years and also doing so in front of 30 over people. :) Fumbled here and there but enjoyed myself thoroughly.

Well, time to stop. Can write more but shall leave that to some other time.

To God be all thanks and glory!

“I have set the LORD always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.” Psalm 16:8

Be A Man Or Woman Of Your Words

Just as much as I do not want to give the devil too much credits, I also cannot deny that he is up to his no good. He is basically distracting me from my preparation for tomorrow's praise and worship session that I am leading at the 11:15am service. A few things happened and they all got to do with people whom I know.

One of them is grandma. As every one at home is away overseas (mum and dad in Vietnam and my brother in China), she kept calling me a few times to ask me to come home quickly. Reasons were: to feed my dog when she could have just taken two scoops of the pellets and place them in the bowl; to clear the pooh from the tray which she could have just left them as they were since the tray was for the purpose of containing Sasha's droppings. This is the first time she asked me to do all these and I do not know why.

My brother messaged me to say that he is extending his stay in China by another day. As I knew grandma was expecting him to be back in Singapore today, I decided to call home to inform her of my brother's extension. Then grandma became paranoid and kept calling me to ask why my brother is not coming back; whether he is alright; is there something wrong with the plane; etc. I understood her concerns - that is why the first few times when she called I was calm and explained to her about the reason and assured her that all is fine. But when the calls became too frequent, they kind of got on my nerves. Sigh.

Then I got a message from a sister-in-Christ who informed me that she could not help me with a project. I was hoping she could but failed to persuade her to do so. I was fine with this but what saddened my heart was another agreement we had which I took it as a promise from her but she kind of broke it. Then it reminded me of a few other promises that my other friends and siblings-in-Christ recently broke too. It is just so disappointing when such incidents happened especially from people whom I cherish. I always expect my friends to keep their promises just as much as I myself, as a friend to them, am trying to keep my words. This is not to boast but to illustrate that we need to be men and women of our words. Yes, I cannot deny that we do fail at times due to circumstances and all but when it is happening too frequently by the same person, then I really question the kind of friendship we have.

Anyway, maybe I hold dear to all the relationships I have with people. That is why I am feeling this way. I am learning to be gracious but sometimes I must admit that it is tough - I guess I am still training myself to be patient and more understanding.

I just reached home. I was out with the running gang for dinner and then went up to the 37th storey of Standard Chartered Building to watch the last episode of the Fireworks Festival done by a team from China. The view from where we were were spectacular. It was a waste I did not bring my camera as I was at the Leaders' Retreat. Anyway, I enjoyed viewing the pyrotechnic display.

Before I came online to write this blog, I spent some time in prayer and shared with the Lord what I wrote above. I pray I will still fix my eyes on Him as I lead tomorrow and that I will not let circumstances distract me. I do not know why but in my heart there is this feeling that I am trying to impress people with my service tomorrow than having the desire to glorify God. This is a concern for me as I do not want to let pride to come into the picture as the heart of worship is all about God - not me, the music, the words, the atmosphere, etc.

Well, I pray God will be my side as I lead. May He increase and I decrease during the time of praise and worship.

I shall try to sleep soon. For those going to church tomorrow, have a wonderful time blessing the name of Jesus and learning from His Word. Those hesitating for whatever reasons, I pray you will try to go no matter how you are feeling and let God minister to your heart as you worship Him.

Let everything that has breath praise the Lord!

"Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue lasts only a moment." Proverbs 12:19

"Let everything that has breath praise the LORD. Praise the LORD." Psalm 150:6

Be A Lion-Slayer!

I am now in The Coffee Conniosseur along Boat Quay. I am meeting the running gang later for dinner after their run and also to watch the last episode of the Fireworks Festival along Marina Bay. I missed the first yesterday as I was at the Worship Team rehearsal. I heard from friends who went that it was good! Sigh. Anyway, I am thankful I can watch today's.

I attended the Leaders' Retreat from 9am to around 3pm. It was a good session as we evaluated what the church did for the past one year - giving thanks to God for the many things that went well and seeking His forgiveness for those that we fumbled. We also discussed a little of what the church is to do next year.

I like the devotion that my Senior Pastor gave at the beginning of the session. She urged the leaders not to let the past mistakes that the church did and the conflicts that we had with one another to haunt and stifle what we are to do for the future. Instead she encouraged us to move on and let God lead us accordingly from where we left off.

She also spurred the leaders to not let difficulties faced in ministries to discourage us but instead to be ready to face the odds. This then will allow us to trust in God totally as we know we will not be able to deal with them in our own strength and understanding. She parallelled the odds we sometimes encounter as that of a lion suddenly pouncing onto our path. The natural reaction is for us to run away. Instead she told us to be a lion-chaser. To run after the lion and kill it. She challenged the leaders to be revolutionaries and not reaction-aries. She shared at the end a manifesto which I failed to note down in my PDA. I have requested for her powerpoint file. When I get it, I will share them in the next blog. Below is the Bible reference that my pastor used to illustrate her points.

Well, I left the retreat refreshed unlike previous years when I was more disheartened than encouraged. It has also excited me to consider ways to steer the Missions ministry since next year's theme is on "Outreach - His Commission." Of course I need the Lord to help me.

I am also looking forward to tomorrow's worship session at the 11:15am service. May the church have a wonderful time worshipping the Lord and may God be pleased with it. :)

Thanks be to God for today!

"Benaiah son of Jehoiada was a valiant fighter from Kabzeel, who performed great exploits. He struck down two of Moab's best men. He also went down into a pit on a snowy day and killed a lion. And he struck down a huge Egyptian. Although the Egyptian had a spear in his hand, Benaiah went against him with a club. He snatched the spear from the Egyptian's hand and killed him with his own spear. Such were the exploits of Benaiah son of Jehoiada; he too was as famous as the three mighty men. He was held in greater honor than any of the Thirty, but he was not included among the Three. And David put him in charge of his bodyguard." 2 Samuel 23:20-23

My Identity Is In Christ Alone!

Today has been a super-long day for me. Started at 6:30am when I met my accountability group for a time of fellowship. Then it was to my church before heading to Paya Lebar Methodist Church for the Young Methodist Leaders' Conference mentors' prayer meeting.

It was a great time spent praying for the mentors and also for the participants. I am looking forward to the conference next month - it will be my first time leading a group at the retreat and I still do not know what God can do through me. I guess I shall take the next few weeks to seek Him in this.

I went back to my own church after that and spent the whole afternoon preparing for the Worship Team rehearsal and also for Sunday's service. By then I was already drained.

I met a brother and sister-in-Christ just before the practice to discuss with them about their wedding plans at the end of the year. I am glad to be able to help coordinate their big day. Last Sunday I was asked by my Assistant Pastor to help another couple in their wedding preparations. Though I do not know them, I agreed since God has given me this experience. May the Lord use me to lighten the loads of these my siblings-in-Christ. I also hope to know them better and to make their wedding a memorable one.

A dear brother, who is supposed to be the drummer for this week, could not join us tonight as he could not secure an air-ticket back to Singapore from Thailand. We managed to cope without him when another brother, who is rostered to play the bass, covered the percussions instead. The rehearsal was a refreshing time for me as the words of all the songs ministered to me. I want to share the lyrics of the closing song - I was affirmed of my identity in Christ and it brings comfort and joy that I have a mighty God as my source of strength and help when in need.

Who Am I?

Verse 1:
Who am I? That the Lord of all the earth
would care to know my name, would care to feel my hurt.
Who am I? That the bright and morning star
would choose to light the way, of my ever wondering heart.
Not because of who I am, but because of what You've done.
Not because of what I've done, but because of who You are.

Chorus:
I am a flower quickly fading, here today and gone tomorrow;
a wave tossed in the ocean, a vapor in the wind.
Still You hear me when I'm calling, Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
and You've told me who I am,
I am Yours.

Verse 2:
Who am I? That the eyes that see my sin
would look on me with love, and watch me rise again.
Who am I? That the voice that calmed the sea
would call out through the rain, and calm the storm in me.
Not because of who I am, but because of what You've done.
Not because of what I've done, but because of who You are.

I hope you too are touched by the meaningful and powerful words of affirmation!

Well, the team can only practice that much. The rest we want to leave it to the Lord to guide us accordingly. May His name be glorified! May the church worship Him in spirit and in truth!

Tomorrow is another long day as I have a leaders' retreat to attend. Shall look forward to it anyway!

I guess that is all for this day that the Lord has made for all. Thanks be to Him!

Here's wishing all a restful and blessed weekend!

"Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God." Colossians 3:16

Friends Do Not Exploit

Last night I was discouraged over something that a colleague of mine did to me. She asked for a favour last week to write an article for her. Though I was not really that keen as I was quite anxious over mum's medical report, I agreed anyway since she told me it was urgent.

She gave me a deadline and it was to be submitted by today. I quickly rushed the research, stayed up late and also cancelled a couple of appointments just so that I could complete the assignment.

Then came a call from her yesterday at around 10pm. She basically told me that she does not need the article anymore as she felt that the one she did was more suitable. I was quite puzzled when I heard that. I asked her how come she was also working on an article when she told me last week that she would not have the time to do so? She was stumped for a moment and gave the reason that she wanted to choose between the two when both are completed. That was the last straw - I shared with her my disappointment as in her approach towards the whole matter. Though she apologised, I felt I was being made use of.

When I was spending some time praying about the above-mentioned, I was just asking myself how many times have I been exploited by some of my friends? Why is it that I spared some thoughts for them and yet they are not doing the same for me? Am I being stupid? Am I too nice? These questions I asked were not meant to boast about the sacrifices I make for others even when I do not feel like it. They were more of an evaluation for me as to what I should do next time should another call for help come.

I was already towards the last segment of the 25-page article - now they are but of no use anymore. Though some may say preparing them did help in my knowledge of the topic written but that is not the point. The point is why are others being exploited by the very people whom they regard as friends?

The thoughts I have shared so far are also a chance for me to reflect on how I treat my own friends.

So what is my conclusion to this whole incident after praying about it? Well, I will still do what I can for my friends but with the motive of glorying God and not to win the favours of man. Though I cannot deny I will question the motive the next time a favour is being asked, I will not let this stop me from helping others.

I decided to blog this basically for all of us to think about the way we treat others. A simple question for us to consider - do we want to do to others what we do not want others to do to us? The answer will reveal a lot about us. Spare a thought for our friends. They have feelings too.

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving." Colossians 3:23-24

"An unfriendly man pursues selfish ends; he defies all sound judgment." Proverbs 18:1

"For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice." James 3:16

God's Timing Is Always Spot-On!

Not long ago I shared about my discouragement in leading the missions ministry in church as in how I felt drained, lost and running out of ideas as to how else to steer the committee. Well, this morning and early afternoon I received a boost in my service to the Lord after I had a time of fellowship with my Pastor-in-charge.

After she shared with me about the directions the church is heading next year, I was encouraged and motivated to seek the Lord as to what He wants the committee to do and how we can complement and supplement the church in this area of service. There are a lot to do but I shall not let these taunt me. May the Lord be my source of strength and help.

I praise the Lord for sending someone like my Senior Pastor to spur me on at the appropriate time. Just last night when I was doing a report for the Last Local Conference, I shared my frustrations, disappointments, personal shortomings and struggles as a chairperson. I guess God knew I have reached a stage where I need to be refreshed and encouraged. Truly He knows best!

Yesterday I was also feeling bad about not being supportive towards someone's idea and desire for something. I gave my views based on my ever logical thinking and concerns but I failed to see the part where it could have made the person happy if I had supported the suggestion. I learnt and I praise the Lord for the lesson taught.

At the beginning of this week I was sharing how this week would be a busy one. Well, half of it is gone and I praise God that He has been sustaining me thus far.

I shall stop here for now.

"Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him." Psalm 34:8

My God Is Real!

I am back in Ngee Ann City Coffee Bean. One of the supervisors just voted me as the most frequent customer to the joint. Candidly, that is. Actually, I did not plan to visit the joint. I only made the decision when my parents decided to spend some time on their own after mum's last radiotherapy session.

By the way, mum has been certified well - the tumour on the cervix is gone. Completely healed! Praise the Lord! She need not undergo radiotherapy treatment anymore. All she need to do now is to visit the specialist once a month for the next half a year. I was so relieved when I got the report and I just could not contain my joy. I basically messaged a couple of people to share with them the goodness of the Lord.

This is now a load off my shoulders. It has been a burden for the past few months but now that I have received this result, it was worth the struggle. I also want to thank all my loved ones, siblings-in-Christ and friends who have prayed for mum and my family and also offered words of encouragement - you have been a great blessing to us!

God, along the way, gave me affirmations through a few people that mum would be healed. Each time I received these words, I always claimed them in my heart and believed that God would see mum and my family through. A sister once urged me to pray that mum would be healed completely so that the family can proclaim with confidence to others that the God whom we worship is real and powerful. Now that it has happened, I want to proclaim that it is indeed true. We also want to give all thanks and praise and glory to Him!

I guess mum and dad can now enjoy their Vietnam trip this Friday. I pray the five days they will be spending together will be a refreshing one.

I have another 'good' news to share - my application for a PHD scholarship was unsuccessful. :) Thanks be to God for the experience anyway. The panel encouraged me to apply again next year - they told me basically that I am not ready this year due to the request I made for a year's deferment should I get it - this was due to mum's ill-health. The other reason was that I am not experienced enough as compared to the rest of the candidates. I accepted their decision and will see where God wants me to go when the door is opened again.

Now that I have written the above-mentioned, I can see God's timely plan in revealing both good and not-so-good news on the same day. They basically balanced out. :) I am grateful to Him for all the blessings bestowed upon me.

Well, another thing I want to thank God for - I managed to choose all the songs for this Sunday's service. I was quite anxious yesterday but after talking to the preacher last night and praying about it, I was able to decide on the songs without much of a problem. I basically went to Botanic Garden for a time of quiet and praise this morning and that was when I confirmed the list! Hallelujah!

Okie, time for me to key off.

"Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray. Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of praise. Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective." James 5:13-16

Differences Can Be Resolved Peacefully!

I thank God for the two South Koreans who were released by the Talibans. I will continue to pray for the remaining 19 still held captive. Someone asked me before about my feeling on this incident - whether I am angry with the Muslim extremists? Frankly, I am not. I feel more sadness than anger - not just with this particular group of people but with human beings, in general.

I am sad that one fellow human is killing another just because one holds a stronger belief in something which then leads him to commit an extreme act.

All these taking of innocent lives and wars and religious and political differences will continue to persist from one generation to another so long as two parties are not willing to seek peace and understand each other better. Impatience, pride, judgmental spirit, hatred, bitterness and unforgiveness are always the cause of this strife!

I know it is never easy to deal with the differences of humans but do not because of this, cause one to believe that it is okay to kill just so that the message can be put across strongly to another party. Let us look back in history - many lives have been taken, have the differences been solved? No! Why can't then we learn from these past experiences? It is a vicious cycle. Are we blind to this? Or are humans too slow in realising?

I would love to bring in my religious stand on this since these South Koreans are my brothers and sisters-in-Chirst but I am not going to because that is not the point. The point I want to bring across is this - let us stop being childish and start waking up our foolish ideas. I have never been in the political scene and I do not know what the leaders of governments are thinking but one need not be a politician to know that everything takes time to resolve - one just need to be patient and have the willingness to give and take. We can never always have a win-win situation but so long as we keep trying, this world will be a better place to live in. Lives of our fellow humans will be preserved and peace will prevail. Let us let love cover over a multitude of sins and differences. My thoughts may be idealistic. Will it work? Yes! The question is - are we willing to wait to see things change by the effort we put in to settle matters peacefully?

Well, just my thoughts as a commoner.

Anyway, I am actually trying to prepare for the songs for this Sunday's praise and worship session but unable to do so because I have yet to hear from the preacher for this Sunday. I have listed a couple of songs which I think can be used but I guess I can only confirm them after I have received the sermon outline.

It is actually quite frustrating but I quickly channelled that feeling to God - knowing that I do not want this waiting to lead me to sin against Him and the preacher. I also do not want to open avenues for the devil to lay a foothold. The reason why I want to finalise the list soon is so that I can send it out to the Worship Team - to allow them to practice on their own first.

I am now in Millennia Walk Coffee Bean - decided to come here to listen to some music, read a book and also to let God inspire me as to what songs I can use for this Sunday. It is a quiet and nice place to be at as compared to the one in Ngee Ann City.

I guess I shall end here for now.

Peace to all mankind!

"Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it." Psalm 34:14

"When a man's ways are pleasing to the LORD, he makes even his enemies live at peace with him." Proverbs 16:7

"Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord." Romans 12:17-19

"For, "Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech. He must turn from evil and do good; he must seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayer, but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil." 1 Peter 3:10-12

"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins." 1 Peter 4:8

Reacting Towards Circumstances

A few interesting things happened today which I want to thank the Lord for. Well, if you have guessed correctly - yup, I am writing this blog in Ngee Ann City Coffee Bean. I think by now those of you who have been reading my blogspot know that I frequent this cafe a lot, at least for now when I am still on my sabbatical.

I have shared before that many of the staff here know me by name and each time they see me, they would give me the broadest smile ever. What I did not share about is this particular staff whom I see very often but he never gave me a smile, not even once. But each time when I see him, I would just smile at him and say, "hello!"

Anyway, just now I met this interesting gentleman again. I smiled and to my surprise, he returned a smile! Praise the Lord! It sounds trivial in what I have just written. To me, it means a lot because that indicated the ice is now broken and probably I may move one step forward and begin to talk to him. Well, I shall do this another time. Shan't scare him for now.

When I arrived at the cafe, I realised all the tables except one near the power sockets have been occupied. But someone at the other table has already plugged into the power source. When one of the cafe supervisors saw that I was trying to locate for a power socket, she kindly passed me an extension plug so that I can tap on the power source too. I was very touched by her thoughtfulness. Praise the Lord for providing through this kind lady.

Another encounter I want to share. I was on my way to town from home. While walking along the underground tunnel to the train station, I saw two secondary school-boys throwing rugby ball to and fro in the station. I told them not to do so as they might break a few things. I walked on after that. The train arrived and coincidentally we boarded the same carriage. I smiled at them and started talking to them. I asked them whether they were ruggers and they said they play for the school. When I heard that, I used this topic to continue our conversation. I even invited them to join the youths on Sunday for the touch-rugby game. They said they will try to come. I shall hope for it.

I realised encounters like what I have shared above always make my day! It is just a matter of how I deal with them as they come along. I could have ignored the guy who does not smile at me and bear a grudge against him for being arrogant. The question is - what is the point? By reacting that way, I have built up walls and even spoilt my mood. As for the two boys whom I asked not to play in the train station, I could have made some assumptions about them as being childish and inconsiderate. I could have continued to show them my fierce look when we entered the same carriage. The question again - what is the point? By feeling this way, I have closed the door to knowing them better.

I guess at the end of the day, it is up to us whether we want to make the best of opportunities to enjoy each day of our pilgrim's journey. Many times we say people or situations spoil our day but think again - most of the time, it is us who spoil it by our reactions.

I want to thank God for a few other things - for granting journey mercies to my friend and her mother during their holidays; for protecting another dear friend against serious injury in an accident; for giving my God-sister a favourable result for her 'O' Level Chinese examination.

Time for me to stop here. Thanks be to God for a good start to a busy week. :)

"... give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:18

Everything Is Possible In Christ!

This new week has a lot of things that I need to do. I also need the Lord to lead and guide me accordingly. Mum will be going for her last radiotherapy session this Wednesday. After that she will go for a scan. I have been feeling quite anxious the past few days about this. I have been praying that the result will reveal that mum is completely healed.

I am also going by faith in the above-mentioned because I have booked for mum and dad to go on a short holiday (5 days) to Vietnam beginning Friday. I was praying whether I should do so and was at peace throughout the time I was seeking God regarding this decision.

I am also leading the praise and worship for the 11:15am service next Sunday. I have not prayed and thought about it. I hope I will be able to listen to the Lord as to what He wants me to do. I am looking forward to it but at the same time, I have this burden of being distracted by the busy schedules.

This Saturday is also the Leaders' Retreat which is another area where I need to start asking the Lord as to what else He wants the Missions Ministry to do for the new church year. Next year's focus is on outreach and mission - that means the Missions Ministry will need to do more. It is a daunting task but I pray, with God being our Guide, all in the committee will see where God wants us to go and do.

It is quite scary as I look at the above things that I need to do - I know all will turn out well but the human fear tells me otherwise.

Anyway, funnily I had some things which I wanted to talk about in today's blog but facing the monitor now, I cannot recall what they were. I will write again should I remember.

I shall look forward to this brand new week with joy and hope. May God be my help. I shall spend some time in prayer after this to surrender to God the above-mentioned and also to pray for a few people whom I feel a burden for.

A new week of adventures, here I come!

"Sing to him, sing praise to him; tell of all his wonderful acts. Glory in his holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the LORD rejoice. Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always." Psalm 105:2-4

"Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you." Psalm 9:10

Zero Has Value

Have you ever had your teacher calling you "stupid"? Have you ever got your parents calling you "good-for-nothing"? Have you ever heard your friends calling you "lousy"? Have you felt yourself being the lowliest of the lowlies; that you are flawed; that you are a mistake caused by your parents or for that matter, God?

I felt the above-mentioned many times in my growing up years especially when I faced failures or when I could not reach certain expectations set by my parents or when I had made some major mistakes or when I was lagging behind or when I compared myself with others who are doing far better than me or when I faced rejections of any kind (be it in my work proposals, ministry ideas, relationships, etc). Even now I still feel that I am not good enough occasionally.

This afternoon God opened my eyes to His impression of me. I was with the Youth Ministry Mentors (YMMs) for their monthly get-together where they come for a time of worship, sharing about their walk with God lately and updating one another of the upcoming events for the ministry and also praying for and with one another.

After a time of praise, we were shown a video clip called "Full Flame" by Reinhard Bonnke where he shared to a group of Brazilians how God chooses and uses people for His ministry. He brought to light the 12 disciples that He chose - if you look at them individually you will realise that they were people of no or little significance. One of them was a tax-collector, some were fishermen and there was even one who was a thief.

The evangelist is not saying that God cannot use significant people for His work. He can! Brother Bonnke, who is a German and was not good in his studies (especially Mathematics), wants every individual to know that no one is useless, good-for-nothing, flawed or a mistake in the eyes of God. When he was young he was called a "zero". In Germany, that basically means he is no good!

Reinhard Bonnke evangelises mainly in Africa - he was called by God to go to this land when he was a mere 10-year old boy. Can you imagine that? He has touched millions of lives in his ministry, brought many of them to Christ and still making a difference in people's lives till date.

Brother Bonnke wants all of us to know that when we as "zeroes" stand with the ONE who created all things, there is value to that digit and that we can make an impact everywhere we go and with whatever capabilities we have.

When one "zero" is being used by the ONE, 10 lives can be touched; when two "zeroes" are being used, 100 lives will be blest; when three "zeroes" are called forth, 1000 lives will be transformed; and the figures go on and on and on and eventually millions will be saved. Can we see now how significant we can be? If the 12 disciples Jesus chose can minister to the multitudes, so can we!

After the get-together, I headed for town to Borders to collect some books I ordered. Before going to the bookstore, I had to alight at Dhoby Ghaut MRT Station. I decided to detour to Fort Canning Park to spend some time with God and to speak with Him about the lesson I learnt from the video. It basically affirmed in me that I am a somebody and that God can use me to bless anybody if I am willing to. I made a commitment to the Lord that from now onwards, I will avail myself anytime, anywhere to bless anyone He wants me to. May He equip me accordingly. May many be blest through me though I know I will fail at times. May His name be glorified in all that I do.

I am still tired physically but amazingly what I experienced above has refreshed me completely. Truly, the Lord is good. Thanks be to Him!

For those reading this blog, your zero has value. Find what your strengths and giftings are - every one has at least one - use it to the fullest.

Well, the football season commences today. I am looking forward to watching the Liverpool-Aston Villa match later at 12:15am. I will share more on this football issue in my next blog.

Here's wishing all of you a blessed and restful weekend!

"For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. For it is written: "I will destroy the wisdom of the wise; the intelligence of the intelligent I will frustrate." Where is the wise man? Where is the scholar? Where is the philosopher of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? For since in the wisdom of God the world through its wisdom did not know him, God was pleased through the foolishness of what was preached to save those who believe. Jews demand miraculous signs and Greeks look for wisdom, but we preach Christ crucified: a stumbling block to Jews and foolishness to Gentiles, but to those whom God has called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength. Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: "Let him who boasts boast in the Lord." 1 Corinthians 1:18-31

"O LORD, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD. You hem me in — behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain. Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me," even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with you. If only you would slay the wicked, O God! Away from me, you bloodthirsty men! They speak of you with evil intent; your adversaries misuse your name. Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD, and abhor those who rise up against you? I have nothing but hatred for them; I count them my enemies. Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." Psalm 139

Honour God At All Times!

Finally I am done with my involvement in this year's National Day celebration. It is a hot day and I decided to come to my favourite coffee joint in Ngee Ann City to cool myself down with a serving of Ice Mango Creme. I did not have enough sleep -tempted to go home to nap but decided against it. I shall endure till tonight.

I had to write a report and throughout the time when I was facing my computer, I was thinking about how I should word it. It burdened my heart because what I had to write will affect an individual. I could not lie as I am accountable to God for it. I prayed for wisdom and after much consideration, I finished it up. I related the whole account and gave my explanation. I also made some recommendations to the whole matter. I pray all will turn out fine for everyone eventually. I know it will because I tried all I could to honour God in what I have stated.

I have been informed in an email that a minister will be worshipping in my church this Sunday. Initially my heart became anxious as I will be playing the drums and I am still unsure of certain parts. In that short moment of fear, I was being rebuked with regards to my focus on the whole matter. The question that hit me was this - "Who am I trying to please?" The answer was obvious - I am supposed to please God and not the minister, who is also a human. I sought the Lord for forgiveness and peace was restored in my heart.

Well, I guess I shall stop here for now and do some reading.

"These are the things you are to do: Speak the truth to each other, and render true and sound judgment in your courts; do not plot evil against your neighbor, and do not love to swear falsely. I hate all this," declares the LORD." Zechariah 8:16-17

"Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ." Galatians 1:10

Do Not Take Things For Granted

I just had a nice cool bath. Returned home not too long ago. It has been a long day and night yesterday. Finally it is almost over as in my involvement with this year's National Day Parade (NDP). I need to do more clearing up later in the morning. I hope to get them over and done with by noon.

All went pretty well at the parade. All had fun. I had to carry out my duties and walking was a must. It did not help that both my knees have been painful and weak. A couple of times they felt like they were going to snap and I am not kidding when I said that. Anyway, praise God for having sustained me.

I had a couple of good and bad encounters throughout. I shall not name the bad ones. No point as we are all humans. I basically had to deal with a few very impatient and unreasonable people but all turned out fine in the end. I had fun with some kids who enjoyed ravaging through their goodie-bags. Some complained they did not have this or that item and I had to ask the Ambassadors of the Sea (students in marine creature's outfits) to obtain the items for them.

I had to help a mum babysit her three-year daughter - she needed to go to the restroom and there was no one else to look after her little one. Anyway, I did some balloon-sculpting for the cute girl - three in all. I hope the additional items did not add to the burden of the mother.

I also helped a lady in her 60s to look for her seat. After she had gone to the restroom, she could not remember where she was seated. I walked with her three times round the yellow zone but to no avail. I could tell she was anxious - got her a drink to cool down and continued searching for her family members when she was ready to move again. It was about half an hour later that she found her family. Poor lady - she was there to enjoy the parade but in the end, she had to go through the agony of locating her loved ones. Thank God all went well in the end.

Every year when the nation celebrates her birthday, I never fail to give thanks to God for this beautiful island-nation. Whenever I take taxis or when I am at the coffee shops, I do hear of people complaining about the government; about how stressful this society can be; about the high cost of living; about not having enough jobs and having a low salary; about why men need to do national service; about how this tiny red dot on the map is overcrowding.

I do not disagree with some of the above points made but looking at all these gripes, there are also many blessings which we fail to see in many occasions.

Singapore is a peaceful and prosperous country - we should be thankful for that. There are other countries who are constantly at war or facing poverties. As for government - yes, the People's Action Party has been in power for many years and yes, there is a lack of opposition parties to voice otherwise but this government has seen Singapore through the past 42 years without much of a scandal as compared to a lot of other nations where the governments are unstable, always full of differences and quarrels, officials being corrupted and all. Some citizens want opposition parties in Parliament but let us pray that regardless of who the main party is, the officials are ethical and upright.

No doubt the cost of living is rising and there is a always a competition for better jobs. Salaries may not rise as equally fast as the cost of living. All these are real concerns but if we can just sit back for a moment, should we not be thankful that at least we have a place to live in, a job we are holding and a salary we are still drawing monthly? There are many in this world who dare not dream of what tomorrow lies because today may be their last.

As for National Service - if no one takes up the role to protect this nation, who will? Employ mercenaries? Nothing beats protecting your own country. I had served my national service and I enjoyed the 2 1/2 years with the friends I got to know, the skills I learnt, the memories I cherished. There were bad memories (especially the physical and mental aspects) but still those years allowed me to see life differently - no more sheltered by my parents but going into the unknown on my own and pulling it through with God's help. If the country has given me so much, I should give back in return a portion - basically to pledge my loyalty to the nation and call Singapore my home. Whether this tiny dot is overcrowding or not, I am not too overly concerned about it so long as there is harmony among the people. This is something so delicate that it should not be taken for granted.

Well, I have said enough. I just re-read what I wrote above and it sounded as if I am a pro-government citizen. Well, I am basically stating facts and I am reminding myself to be thankful that I have a place to call my own. All these years as I was growing up, I have learnt to be contented with what I have and to give thanks for them - hence what I have written is a reflection of my gratefulness to God for all the blessings He has bestowed upon this land and me.

Thanks and glory be to God! Before I end, do pray for this nation regularly. We should not be complacent but to trust that God will continue to bless every Singaporean.

Time for me to sleep. Happy Birthday, Singapore! Good night!

"I will make you into a great nation and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you." Genesis 12:2-3

Give Ourselves Another Chance

I was on my way to Tampines MRT Station in the evening to get a lift from a dear brother-in-Christ to a dinner appointment with 6 other brothers-in-Christ near Changi. When I was in City Hall MRT Station, there was an announcement about a train disruption between Tampines and Pasir Ris MRT Stations. I thought a train had broken down.

When I alighted at Tampines, I saw a lot of police officers and the train line on the opposite track was closed. When I got out of the station, I asked one of the officers what had happened and he told me someone had fallen onto the track. It was not certain then whether he or she accidentally or purposely fell off the platform. The body was apparently still under the train.

While waiting for my brother to come by, I was near a police van. I did not know that it would be the van which would be transporting the body to the mortuary. I saw the undertakers carrying the body in a bag. It saddened my heart when I witnessed the whole incident.

This is not the first time that an individual had fallen onto a train track. Many of these were due to suicide attempts. I sure hope this evening's incident was not one of them.

There are a lot of sufferings in this world we live in - people who are broken-hearted; who have lost their jobs; who are facing financial difficulties; who find no meaning in life anymore; who are suffering from a sense of guilt for something they had done in the past and feel that their deeds are unforgiveable; who have low self-esteem; who are oppressed spiritually; who have failed dreams/ambitions. Of course there are many other reasons but these are a few I can name for now.

I know it is not easy to face all these problems and burdens. If anyone reading this blog is going through a tough time, please do not fight life's battles alone. Talk to someone about it.

I, for one, had thoughts of ending my life a couple of times when I faced many failures and disappointments in the past. I guess I did not do it simply because there were people around whom I can talk to; people who were there for me. It did make my burdens lighter when I talked to someone about them. It also shifted my attention from one of hopelessness to a light at the end of the tunnel. Slowly the thought of death now shifts to the thought of pressing on and giving myself a second chance.

I also have my God to remind me that He is always there when I need Him. Till date, He has not failed me though sometimes I wonder why He takes so long to help me in some of my struggles. I guess the verse in the Bible that says, "He makes all things beautiful in His time" reminded me that He is still helping me but not based on my timing but His. Though I had to wait, it was all worth the while as He still met my needs.

To any of you out there who are thinking of committing suicide, please give yourself another chance even if you had given yourself many chances already. Please talk to someone - a family member, a friend, a colleague, a counsellor, a teacher, a pastor, a police officer, a passer-by. I am a Christian - if you see a church, go in there and speak to one of the workers. If you want, say a word of prayer (even though you may not be a Christian) - "Jesus Christ, help me in my time of needs. I am at my wit's end. Come to my aid and show me the way. Amen." Please remember that death is not an option to life's problems.

To the rest of us, open our eyes to those around us. If you see any one in need, go to the person and find out whether he or she is fine. That one move may save that person's life. You may think that you are not equipped to help. Sometimes the best help is not in the talking but the listening. Ever wondered why God gives us two ears but only one mouth? It is to remind us to listen more than to talk. We always watch movies that depict only super-heroes coming to the aid of those who are helpless or in trouble - do you know that you too can be a super-hero? No need to wear any colourful costumes or masks, just be a friend and make a difference in his or her life.

Well, what I witnessed this evening kind of took away the excitement that I had for the dinner. I thank God for reminding me that all of us need help some day from someone else - the challenge and encouragement is to approach that someone and go through life's jouney together. It makes the travelling easier to bear.

May the Lord comfort the family of the victim and provide for them accordingly.

I shall end here. I have a couple of other things that I want to write but shall leave them to another day.

"The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." Deuteronomy 31:8

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10