I decided to come to Ngee Ann City Coffee Bean to do some reading and also to blog a little. This morning mum vomitted three times and again felt a little giddy. After tending to her and cooking lunch for the family I decided to go out and catch a breather. I need that once in a while as I cannot deny that it can be quite stressful having to handle the matters of the household. It is not that I find it a drag but for my own good, I need to be away from it for a while so that I can compose and refresh myself. This will then allow me to carry on from where I left off.
My chest is still congested and a little painful - maybe it is a symptom of an imminent heart attack. Well, if the discomfort still persist, I shall go see the doctor when I send mum for her fourth radiotherapy session tomorrow. My knee is also giving me a lot of problems but at least I can still walk - need to put on the brace though.
It is now another new month and it is the second half of the year already. Time really flies. I was just reading through my journal and blogs - I must confess it has been a very tiring and stressful period especially at home. Before I go on, again I give praise to God for sustaining me through the past 30 days or so. If not for His grace and strength through His Word and prayers, I would have burnt out long time ago.
Four main things have been in my mind for the past month or so - one being my family where mum and grandma have not been well. It was discouraging and sad when I heard about mum's cervical cancer. For a short while I was questioning God why is this always happening to me as in all these physical struggles that my family has to go through but then I have stopped doing so. Again I was reminded that God has His purposes and I shall let His will be done in my life and in my family. I felt helpless too when grandma was groaning in pain when her shingles acted up badly. I could not sleep during those few days as I was there to comfort her, to let her know that it would soon come to past and that she should continue to trust God to heal her. When her pain goes away occasionally I would pray with her and I thank God that helped. I still have trouble sleeping every night. Once in a while I would just wake up suddenly and start wondering wondering mum and grandma are okay. I would then walk to their rooms and check. Well, so long as they are okay, this lack of sleep does not matter.
I have a thanksgiving during this trying period though - I think the bond amongst my family members are closer now (especially mum, dad and grandma). We have been praying much and there is this sense of hope in us that God will make all things beautiful in His time. My only concern is for my brother but I will continue to pray for him that one day the Lord will help him understand why the rest of us pray so much and believe in this God whom we have committed our lives to.
The second thing that has been in my mind was about what I shared in yesterday's blog about my commitment in church. Just as much as I love to serve the Lord and His people, I realised I can only do that much as my human strength is limited. I pray He will grant me the discernment to know which areas of ministries I should continue with and which ones to release. I am still seeking Him in this and I am thankful that He has given me this timely reminder. I realised I have not given my all in the main area of my ministry which is missions. I think I should focus on that and perhaps be involved in another ministry, which probably will be the youths. I will serve as a support for the Youth Ministry and I pray God can use me to bridge the gap between the adults and the youths.
The third thing in my mind is about the scholarship. I have not heard from the panel yet and it has been almost two weeks since I went for my final interview. Well, just as much as I am not too bothered by it, it still does, to a certain extent, as it would affect my plans at least for the next few months. Well, I cannot do anything for now - shall leave it as that.
I shall keep the fourth thing confidential for now - it is a constant struggle but I am letting the Lord lead and guide me accordingly. When the time is ripe I shall share about it. It is a burden I have to carry for now. I am taking it one step at a time.
Well, I do not know what this new month has for me - I believe it will not be that bad as it would be an adventure. The question is whether I am willing to go through it and learn something from it. A new chapter of my pilgrim's journey which is slowly unfolding. I shall share about it as the days progress.
This morning, I received a call from a dear brother. He asked whether I could be his wedding coordinator. I gladly accepted his request as it is always an honour to help my siblings-in-Christ who have made a commitment to share their lives together in marriage. I just pray the Lord will guide me so that I can help them have a memorable time of their lives. Last Sunday I also got another request from a brother and sister-in-Christ who are getting married at the end of this year. I accepted it too but when I checked my schedules I realised I have another wedding to plan the following day. Two weddings back-to-back. It is new to me but I shall take up the challenge. May the Lord be my help and strength. I think I would be exhausted after everything is over. Well, it is alright. Weddings only come once in a couple's lives - shall do my best to help them enjoy and cherish the moments. :)
Well, I shall end here. Long sharing. God is good all the time and all the time, God is good.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you." Jeremiah 29:11-12
"He has made everything beautiful in its time." Ecclessiastes 3:11a
My chest is still congested and a little painful - maybe it is a symptom of an imminent heart attack. Well, if the discomfort still persist, I shall go see the doctor when I send mum for her fourth radiotherapy session tomorrow. My knee is also giving me a lot of problems but at least I can still walk - need to put on the brace though.
It is now another new month and it is the second half of the year already. Time really flies. I was just reading through my journal and blogs - I must confess it has been a very tiring and stressful period especially at home. Before I go on, again I give praise to God for sustaining me through the past 30 days or so. If not for His grace and strength through His Word and prayers, I would have burnt out long time ago.
Four main things have been in my mind for the past month or so - one being my family where mum and grandma have not been well. It was discouraging and sad when I heard about mum's cervical cancer. For a short while I was questioning God why is this always happening to me as in all these physical struggles that my family has to go through but then I have stopped doing so. Again I was reminded that God has His purposes and I shall let His will be done in my life and in my family. I felt helpless too when grandma was groaning in pain when her shingles acted up badly. I could not sleep during those few days as I was there to comfort her, to let her know that it would soon come to past and that she should continue to trust God to heal her. When her pain goes away occasionally I would pray with her and I thank God that helped. I still have trouble sleeping every night. Once in a while I would just wake up suddenly and start wondering wondering mum and grandma are okay. I would then walk to their rooms and check. Well, so long as they are okay, this lack of sleep does not matter.
I have a thanksgiving during this trying period though - I think the bond amongst my family members are closer now (especially mum, dad and grandma). We have been praying much and there is this sense of hope in us that God will make all things beautiful in His time. My only concern is for my brother but I will continue to pray for him that one day the Lord will help him understand why the rest of us pray so much and believe in this God whom we have committed our lives to.
The second thing that has been in my mind was about what I shared in yesterday's blog about my commitment in church. Just as much as I love to serve the Lord and His people, I realised I can only do that much as my human strength is limited. I pray He will grant me the discernment to know which areas of ministries I should continue with and which ones to release. I am still seeking Him in this and I am thankful that He has given me this timely reminder. I realised I have not given my all in the main area of my ministry which is missions. I think I should focus on that and perhaps be involved in another ministry, which probably will be the youths. I will serve as a support for the Youth Ministry and I pray God can use me to bridge the gap between the adults and the youths.
The third thing in my mind is about the scholarship. I have not heard from the panel yet and it has been almost two weeks since I went for my final interview. Well, just as much as I am not too bothered by it, it still does, to a certain extent, as it would affect my plans at least for the next few months. Well, I cannot do anything for now - shall leave it as that.
I shall keep the fourth thing confidential for now - it is a constant struggle but I am letting the Lord lead and guide me accordingly. When the time is ripe I shall share about it. It is a burden I have to carry for now. I am taking it one step at a time.
Well, I do not know what this new month has for me - I believe it will not be that bad as it would be an adventure. The question is whether I am willing to go through it and learn something from it. A new chapter of my pilgrim's journey which is slowly unfolding. I shall share about it as the days progress.
This morning, I received a call from a dear brother. He asked whether I could be his wedding coordinator. I gladly accepted his request as it is always an honour to help my siblings-in-Christ who have made a commitment to share their lives together in marriage. I just pray the Lord will guide me so that I can help them have a memorable time of their lives. Last Sunday I also got another request from a brother and sister-in-Christ who are getting married at the end of this year. I accepted it too but when I checked my schedules I realised I have another wedding to plan the following day. Two weddings back-to-back. It is new to me but I shall take up the challenge. May the Lord be my help and strength. I think I would be exhausted after everything is over. Well, it is alright. Weddings only come once in a couple's lives - shall do my best to help them enjoy and cherish the moments. :)
Well, I shall end here. Long sharing. God is good all the time and all the time, God is good.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you." Jeremiah 29:11-12
"He has made everything beautiful in its time." Ecclessiastes 3:11a
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