When I came home just a while ago, I was told by dad that mum had a fall yet again. Sigh. She was walking down the stairs to the void-deck for a walk with dad when she missed a step and fell backwards. What else can I say? Having two falls in a span of a couple of days is quite alarming for me.
The back part of mum's head bumped against the railings - I was angry that no one informed me about the accident. Even when I came home, no one told me about it immediately. It was only when I asked dad why mum slept so early that he updated me.
I quickly went to examine her head and could see a slight swell. I guess I will have to bring her to see the doctor again tomorrow. I am so tired having to deal with this time and again. Not that I am blaming mum but I am basically just exhausted. When will this ever stop?
Dad reasoned that it was not a serious matter but I told him for a person like mum who is suffering from cancer, any fall or accident is serious enough to warrant extra precaution. Already her body is weak and if she is constantly subjected to falls, it will further weaken her and that will not help in her general physical well-being. I really hate to nag but in times like these, how can I not to?
I hope the swell will subside tomorrow. I also asked dad to monitor mum over the night - that if she vomits or feels giddy that we immediately send her to the Accident and Emergency Department. I am praying that she will be fine. Sigh.
Sometimes I really wonder what God is trying to do with my life. Can He not see that I am drained? Has He not heard my plea for help to deliver mum and the family from this cancer ordeal? Even if He wants us to learn something from this, when then does the learning stops? I know learning is a life-long process but surely one needs to rest and not be over-loaded with lessons.
I dare not even think of what is to come next - will there be another accident? Will there be another illness? Will there be more interrupted sleep for me? Will I always have to suffer in this life that I live here on earth? When will suffering stop other than facing death in the eye?
I just came back from the Worship Team rehearsal - we are encouraged to give thanks in all circumstances. Yes, I have been doing it but sometimes in moments like what I have mentioned above, it is just so tough. How to?
Anyway, I should just shut up for now. I apologise for sounding as if I have doubt about God. I am not - I am just frustrated, burned out physically, emotionally and mentally, impatient, etc.
Time to go wash up and let some cold water wake my stupid ideas up and refresh me. Looks like it is going to be a tough weekend ahead. So be it.
Never knew this pilgrim's journey is so hard to travel on. I do not mind trotting it but just give me some chance to recuperate before the next trial comes. I need it!
The back part of mum's head bumped against the railings - I was angry that no one informed me about the accident. Even when I came home, no one told me about it immediately. It was only when I asked dad why mum slept so early that he updated me.
I quickly went to examine her head and could see a slight swell. I guess I will have to bring her to see the doctor again tomorrow. I am so tired having to deal with this time and again. Not that I am blaming mum but I am basically just exhausted. When will this ever stop?
Dad reasoned that it was not a serious matter but I told him for a person like mum who is suffering from cancer, any fall or accident is serious enough to warrant extra precaution. Already her body is weak and if she is constantly subjected to falls, it will further weaken her and that will not help in her general physical well-being. I really hate to nag but in times like these, how can I not to?
I hope the swell will subside tomorrow. I also asked dad to monitor mum over the night - that if she vomits or feels giddy that we immediately send her to the Accident and Emergency Department. I am praying that she will be fine. Sigh.
Sometimes I really wonder what God is trying to do with my life. Can He not see that I am drained? Has He not heard my plea for help to deliver mum and the family from this cancer ordeal? Even if He wants us to learn something from this, when then does the learning stops? I know learning is a life-long process but surely one needs to rest and not be over-loaded with lessons.
I dare not even think of what is to come next - will there be another accident? Will there be another illness? Will there be more interrupted sleep for me? Will I always have to suffer in this life that I live here on earth? When will suffering stop other than facing death in the eye?
I just came back from the Worship Team rehearsal - we are encouraged to give thanks in all circumstances. Yes, I have been doing it but sometimes in moments like what I have mentioned above, it is just so tough. How to?
Anyway, I should just shut up for now. I apologise for sounding as if I have doubt about God. I am not - I am just frustrated, burned out physically, emotionally and mentally, impatient, etc.
Time to go wash up and let some cold water wake my stupid ideas up and refresh me. Looks like it is going to be a tough weekend ahead. So be it.
Never knew this pilgrim's journey is so hard to travel on. I do not mind trotting it but just give me some chance to recuperate before the next trial comes. I need it!
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