One Of Those Days...

The beginning of the weekend did not start off well for me. I did all my laundry this morning and was about to hang them up when I noticed a dark-coloured blouse (belonging to mum) was placed next to my yellow polo-tee. I panicked as I was afraid the colour of mum's top might stain mine. True enough, my fear came true.

Three brown patches of different sizes were marked on the lower part of the polo-tee. I was fuming mad as I knew it would be difficult to remove them. I also knew the top was not cheap and it was a gift from someone. I called mum and questioned her why did she not think about the risk of staining my clothes or for that matter anybody else's? Though she apologised, I still did not cool down.

I tried my best to remove the stains but they were still there. I decided to soak them in detergent and hot water. After that I had to go out for lunch with some friends. I have no idea whether I can solve this problem. It would be such a waste that nothing can be done about it. Sigh.

I know I could have tried to cool down. Not trying to justify for my blow-up but I have been rather patient in other incidents where the same thing happened. This time I felt I needed to say my piece as I cannot let this keep going on where one after another of my clothes are being destroyed by other people's carelessness. It is very irritating to see such situations happening when I make an effort to take care of the things I have. Yes, I can always buy a new piece of polo-tee but that is not the point.

I have more or less cooled down but the pain of knowing that the damage on my polo-tee may not be reversed pains my heart. I spent some time in prayer to seek the Lord's forgiveness if I had sinned against Him in the process of this. I also asked Him to help me remove the stains. I also prayed for my parents and every one in the family that they will be more careful the next time they wash their clothes. Mum has destroyed three of my tops (inlcuding this one), dad and bro each damaged one and grandma stained two (both occasions when she was dying her hair). Seven in total - how can I not be angry? It is really a waste.

I went for a walk with my doggy when I woke up at around 7am. I tried to run but struggled as the pain around my knees still lingers. Sigh. In the end I just walked - I wonder how much calories I burnt doing that. Anyway, praise God that I still have the ability to walk. I have this fear one day I may not be able to. Even my Senior Pastor commented that I am limping more these days. So be it if one day I have to be confined to a wheelchair.

Okie, shall stop here. I shall go to Kinokuniya and Borders to check out some books after this.

"Strengthen the feeble hands, steady the knees that give way; say to those with fearful hearts, "Be strong, do not fear; your God will come,... he will come to save you." Isaiah 35:3-4

Is Our Alignment Off?

I brought mum to the hospital to collect her medical report. It is now confirmed that she is cleared of all cancer. Thanks be to God for that. The condition of her diabetes is still quite bad and the doctor advised her to control her diet and also to monitor the condition regularly. Mum and dad decided to go out for lunch while I am back in Millennia Walk Coffee Bean to do my usual stuff. I guess I do not have much time left to enjoy such leisure activities before going back to work proper next month.

I got an email this morning from a brother-in-Christ. He is apparently from Scotland. He asked how and why is it wrong to gain the acceptance of man? I did not say that it is wrong for one to do so. I basically used the word "saddens" and I also thought I share my thoughts so that we can evaluate on this area of our lives.

I think we need to always be cautious when we try to win the favours of others. Usually in doing so, we tend to make some compromises. Some points for us to consider:-

1) What are our motives? Are we manipulating others?

2) Do we reach a point where we belittle ourselves, suck up to others and lose our dignity and pride in the process?

3) Are we losing the joy in our lives and in the things we do? Are we feeling tired? Do we get frustrated and angry easily?

4) Are we beginning to doubt ourselves, losing confidence in what we do?

If our answers are mostly, "yes," and negative then the alarm bell should ring loudly in us. God is probably prompting us not to sell our souls just so that we can have a place in this world.

The other sure test is this - where is God in all these pursuits to win the favour of man and find our worth in the standards set by the world? Have we ever consulted Him?

If He is totally out of the equation, then our alignment is off. How can the God of our lives not be included in all the above-mentioned when He should have the biggest say in our thoughts and actions?

Well, I hope I have answered the queries of my Scottish brother-in-Christ.

I guess that is all I have to share on this. I need to head to church later for the Worship Team rehearsal. A brother-in-Christ was supposed to play the drums for this Sunday but because of the demise of his grandpa, he is unable to do so now. I decided to replace him when a request was made by the Worship Leader to cover the vacant slot.

I am feeling super cold here. Cannot wait to get out of here soon.

"A good man obtains favor from the LORD, but the LORD condemns a crafty man." Proverbs 12:2

"Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to win their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord. Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. Anyone who does wrong will be repaid for his wrong, and there is no favoritism." Colossians 3:22-25

Win God's Favour, Not Man's

I am actually very tired now and it is only 4:30pm. I could not sleep this morning when I went to bed. Tried as best as I could, I still tossed and turned and basically stared blankly at the ceiling. In the end I just took the time to pray and read a book. That went on till around 4 plus in the morning.

In the course of my reading, I was inspired to write a poem - not perfect as compared to some of the greatest we have heard but I thought I still share it in this blog.

Journey of Faith

The journey of life
is filled with nothing but strife.
Obstacles big and small pave the way,
sometimes they make one's life sway.
I asked God why must things be so?
He told me to trust Him,
as these struggles make me grow.
I replied, "my human strength is but limited."
"Do not be afraid," my Lord repeated.
What lies ahead of me I do not know,
only in Christ alone will He show.
To Him now I commit my hurt and pain
For there is no one else to break my chain.
Life will always be a faith-journey,
may God continue to make my legs sturdy
to withstand life's agony.
To God be all the glory!

I wrote this because there are still a lot of uncertainties in some areas of my life. Sometimes I tried to deal with them in my own abilities but all I get in return is pain and disappointments. It can be tiring but I have no choice but to face them. I just hope I will remember to include God in the picture.

I had a good time of fellowship with my accountability group. We decided to meet over lunch as later we need to attend a wake of a brother-in-Christ's grandfather. Today we shared about our weaknesses so that we can help one another overcome them with God's help. I am glad we were able to be opened and willing to share our shortcomings. I hope these will remind us that on our own we may not be able to gain victory over our struggles but when we come together to help one another, it will be a lot easier.

One topic we shared saddens my heart. It is regarding the struggle with always trying to gain people's acceptance. How sometimes we find our worth based on the standards set by the world. It will always cry out to us, "If you do not meet these criterion then you are never good enough."

My question is, "When will it ever be good enough?" To me, this strife will go on and on and on and one will never ever be satisfied. Even Christians fall into this trap and we go along with the patterns of this world.

It is not wrong to be ambitious and to work towards excellence but if we believe that our worth can only found in this world then let us re-evaluate. Where is God in all these pursuits? Do we care about what He thinks of us? Do we do things for the sake of the Lord? Are we honouring Him or man?

Life, to me, is to be enjoyed because this is just a transition. We will not always be on this earth forever. Why let strife take away the joy of living? Does it matter that much what people think of us? So what if we are different from the perception this world has of all mankind? Does it make us weird? In fact, as Christians, we are told to be different. The question is "Do we dare to be so?" Have we got the guts to stand against the norms? I am also reflecting on these questions because it is never easy but it is also not impossible.

Well, may God be our help. I sure hope I will not leave God out in everything I do. I am sure if I honour Him, He will honour me in return and it will definitely be far more than I ever imagine.

I am in a very reflective mood these few days. I hope I can learn some lessons during this period.

I am now in Millennia Walk Coffee Bean. The time now is 5:45pm. I took so long to write this blog because as I was in the midst of typing, one of the supervisers came over to speak to me. She was curious to know why I come so often to this joint for the past few weeks and asked me about my occupation and all. Well, I answered her questions accordingly. When she heard that I blog regularly, she asked whether I could give her my blog details. I hope she will be blest as she reads what I write.

Well, I am waiting for 6pm to come... all cakes will be sold at 50% off. Actually this is one of the reasons why I like to visit this branch as it is the only one I know which gives such good discounts. I hesistate to give out this information as it would mean some who are reading my blog will know of this good deal and compete with me in buying the yummy desserts. :) Nah, it is good to share such deals so that all can enjoy.

Time to go. Thanks be to God for what I am going through now. It will come to past soon.

"Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you." Romans 12:1-3

See The Good In Every Individual

This morning I woke up thinking that I needed to bring mum for her radiotherapy treatment. When I looked at the time, I thought I was going to be late and in my blur state, I jumped out of bed. It was only when I opened my wardrobe to get my new set of clothes that I realised there was no need to go to the hospital anymore. It felt weird but it was a good feeling, knowing that mum is well again.

Mum and dad just came back from their holiday to Vietnam and I praise the Lord that they had a good and relaxing trip. Glad to see them come back with a big smile on their faces. I am intending to cook the family a nice feast for dinner. I thought before I do my grocery-shopping that I come to my favourite coffee joint to blog and also to do some reading first.

Yesterday I received an anonymous email from someone whom I think is a lady. She asked me about how she can learn to accept someone whom she cannot stand. She mentioned that each time she sees this person in office, she would try to avoid him. She knows it is the wrong thing to do and she cannot always avoid him since they are working in the same department.

Since this is an anonymous note I thought I reply on the blog instead so that we can all learn from our experiences as to how we can overcome situations or people as mentioned above.

We need to admit that every person has his good and bad character traits. Some people put us off more than others. I do not know whether it is fair to mention this - we can make things better for ourselves if we can learn to accept the person regardless of the difficulty to do so.

How can we try to accept someone who seems to always irk us? I think for us humans, we tend to always look at the bad points of a person. When that happens, we are affected by him. The challenge for all of us perhaps is trying to do the opposite - why not look at his good points instead? I am sure there are a couple. If we can learn to do that, I am sure over a period time, our impression of the person will change for the better.

Of course this may not be a full-proof solution. Another thing we can do is to perhaps speak to the person and let him know your impression of him. I think it is also good to share with him how we are sometimes irked by his actions. Confrontation is never an easy thing to do but for the sake of both parties, sometimes it is essential. There may be awkwardness and perhaps tension but if this can solve a long-term matter, I think it is worth the while.

Well, if after much consideration, we still think you find it hard to confront, then maybe we can share with someone (not too many lest it becomes a gossip) who is close to this person. He or she will then be able to convey our thoughts to the individual.

We have to be realistic enough to acknowledge that it will take time for relationships to improve. In the meantime, I guess it is vital that we try to live in harmony with each other.

This may not be applied to some - another thing we can do is to pray - first, for ourselves to love the person as God would and to see the person with God's eyes. Then we pray for that individual that God would allow him to be aware of his actions and perhaps cause him to be more sensitive to the people around him.

The worst thing we can do is to do nothing at all. Then our lives will always be miserable. My two-cent worth. It is of course easier said than done but it is possible. I have tried and others have already tried towards my own irritating behaviour. I learnt when someone makes the effort to tell me my shortcomings and from there, I would try to make amends and change for the better. I guess this is how we grow.

Well, I guess that is all.

"He who listens to a life-giving rebuke will be at home among the wise. He who ignores discipline despises himself, but whoever heeds correction gains understanding." Proverbs 15:31-32

Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing." 1 Peter 3:8-9

Make The Best Of Today

I came back about two hours ago from the home of two dear brothers-in-Christ whose grandfather passed away suddenly in his room. I was in church msn-ing a few people and was preparing to go home at around 7pm when I got a message from one of the above two brothers informing me that his grandpa has stopped breathing. Though he said he has called his father, I still did not feel at ease and decided to head for his place to see whether I could assist in any way. Thanks to one of the church staff who gave me a lift, I was able to reach their place quickly. I shall leave it as that and not write further. I stayed on to help as much I could. I pray the Lord will prepare the way for the family especially tomorrow in the funeral arrangements.

The incident above has reminded me again how fleeting life can be. One will never know when his time on earth will last. If that is case, why worry so much about what the future holds when what matters is the today we need to enjoy and find meaning in? I guess it is a timely reminder for me especially in what I shared in my previous blog about how frustrating it can be trying to find out what my future (relationship with God and people, ministy prospects, marriage, career, etc.) lies. The future does not matter when one cannot even enjoy and find purpose in the present.

Well, there are still a few things in my life that I need to surrender fully to God and also to seek what His will is. Whatever and however I can, I will continue to dwell in the goodness of the Lord and let Him use me accordingly.

Thanks be to God for the every day He gives us!

"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:33-34

Trusting God For The Unknown

This morning I went to MacRitchie Reservoir to spend some time with the Lord. When I saw people running, I felt kind of sad that I am unable to run for the time being. Though I am thankful to God that my knees are much better, I guess I will not strain them again by running so soon.

I had a good time spent with the Lord though I went to the reservoir with a heavy heart. I basically shared with Him some areas of concern regarding my life and just took the time to worship Him and also to read His Word. It was refreshing though I still do not know what His answers are for me yet.

Sometimes it is frustrating not knowing exactly what the future holds but I was reminded that I have to continue to trust and seek the Lord constantly so that He will show me the way. Well, life is a journey - I guess it is for me to press on and do what is right in the eyes of God and man.

I am now in church. I had a meeting with the Youth Ministry intern to discuss with him about the mission trip to be held in December. Though there are a lot of uncertainties as in the people going and the objectives, we submitted to the Lord in prayer and trust that He will provide the people and also to direct us accordingly as to what we can do for the Khmer people.

Well, I have got nothing much to write today. I will blog again should there be anything else.

“By day the LORD directs his love, at night his song is with me— a prayer to the God of my life.” Psalm 42:8

"The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song." Psalm 28:7

Consequence Of Uncompromised Living

I do not know why but after leading worship yesterday at the service, I felt so exhausted that I did not have anymore energy to do anything else. After lunch, I went home and basically rested. This is the first time I experienced this.

I want to thank God for leading and guiding me throughout the service. Even just before it commenced I was still battling with this motive of winning the favours of man, as I have shared in my previous blog. The temptation was so great that I just did not feel like leading at all.

As I stood in front of the congregation, I whispered a prayer to ask God to transform my thoughts. In the file in front of me were the words I wanted to share. I basically ignored those scripts I prepared and told the Lord I would just let Him speak through me as the service progressed. I did that so that I could remind myself that I had no other choice then but to trust fully in Him to lead me along.

This is the drastic measure I had to take just so that all glory went to my God Almighty and also to not let my pride got the better of me. I asked a few dear friends to pray for me in this struggle and I want to thank them for interceding for me throughout.

I enjoyed the worship so much that even though I stood in front of the church, I was oblivious to their presence but just praised God with all that I had. I was soaked in the very presence of my Lord and I hope the congregation experienced that too. I shared a thanksgiving with the church about mum's healing. Even before I could finished my first sentence, I was choked with emotions as I was overwhelmed by God's goodness in my life. Thank God I managed to compose myself and testified His faithfulness and mercy upon mum to my siblings-in-Christ! Hallelujah!

Yesterday's sermon was on "The Consequences of Uncompromised Living." Usually when the word "consequence" is being used, it refers to a result or effect that someone had to bear for something he did. Usually it has a bad or negative connotation but the message delivered at the service showed us that there is also a result and effect in living an uncompromised life but something good instead will come out of it.

The church was challenged to know God deeper and to find our identity in Him. In doing so, we will then know what God has to say on issues we struggle with and as His children, we would choose to please Him and obey what He tells us. In knowing who God is also assures in us that what He wants of us is always for our good and benefit. Basically we were urged to say "yes" to godliness and holiness and "no" to sin! The message also caused the people to consider the way we carry ourselves as Christians in this world we live in - are we being a good testimony to the people around us or are we stumbling them by the constant compromises we make?

As I was praying before I went to bed last night, it brought to my realisation that what I struggled with in terms of winning glory to self in my role as a worship leader prior to the service was exactly what the sermon was trying to hit on. If I had compromised, probably I would not have been able to share about the above-mentioned, as in the Lord's goodness. I would continue to feel lousy and guilty but now that I know I did the right thing, there is no fear in me of anyone accusing me of doing anything wrong. Thanks be to God for allowing me to experience literally the consequence of uncompromised living.

On Saturday I wrote I wanted to share the "Manifesto of a Lion-Slayer" once I have obtained the powerpoint file from my senior pastor. Well, here goes:-

1) Quit living as if the purpose of life is to arrive safely at death.

2) Grab life by the mane.

3) Set God-sized goals

4) Pursue God-ordained passions.

5) Keep asking questions. Keep making mistakes. Keep seeking God.

6) Stop pointing out the problems and become part of the solution.

7) Stop repeating the past and start creating the future.

8) Consider the sparrows and the lilies.

9) Don’t let what is wrong with you keep you from worshipping what is right with God.

10) Blaze a new trail.

11) Criticize by creating.

12) Worry less about what people think and more about what God thinks.

13) Laugh at ourselves

14) Don’t try to be who you are not.

15) Quit running away.

16) Chase the lion!

Food for thought as we ponder on each of the above 16 points. Yesterday evening I went to a birthday cum farewell party for a brother-in-Christ. There was a band engaged by my friend's father and during the gig, a few of us were invited to play the instruments with the professionals. I played the drums when the song "La Bamba" was being sung and it was fun to just jam along. It was stressful though - playing with a band that has been in the music business for so many years and also doing so in front of 30 over people. :) Fumbled here and there but enjoyed myself thoroughly.

Well, time to stop. Can write more but shall leave that to some other time.

To God be all thanks and glory!

“I have set the LORD always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.” Psalm 16:8

Be A Man Or Woman Of Your Words

Just as much as I do not want to give the devil too much credits, I also cannot deny that he is up to his no good. He is basically distracting me from my preparation for tomorrow's praise and worship session that I am leading at the 11:15am service. A few things happened and they all got to do with people whom I know.

One of them is grandma. As every one at home is away overseas (mum and dad in Vietnam and my brother in China), she kept calling me a few times to ask me to come home quickly. Reasons were: to feed my dog when she could have just taken two scoops of the pellets and place them in the bowl; to clear the pooh from the tray which she could have just left them as they were since the tray was for the purpose of containing Sasha's droppings. This is the first time she asked me to do all these and I do not know why.

My brother messaged me to say that he is extending his stay in China by another day. As I knew grandma was expecting him to be back in Singapore today, I decided to call home to inform her of my brother's extension. Then grandma became paranoid and kept calling me to ask why my brother is not coming back; whether he is alright; is there something wrong with the plane; etc. I understood her concerns - that is why the first few times when she called I was calm and explained to her about the reason and assured her that all is fine. But when the calls became too frequent, they kind of got on my nerves. Sigh.

Then I got a message from a sister-in-Christ who informed me that she could not help me with a project. I was hoping she could but failed to persuade her to do so. I was fine with this but what saddened my heart was another agreement we had which I took it as a promise from her but she kind of broke it. Then it reminded me of a few other promises that my other friends and siblings-in-Christ recently broke too. It is just so disappointing when such incidents happened especially from people whom I cherish. I always expect my friends to keep their promises just as much as I myself, as a friend to them, am trying to keep my words. This is not to boast but to illustrate that we need to be men and women of our words. Yes, I cannot deny that we do fail at times due to circumstances and all but when it is happening too frequently by the same person, then I really question the kind of friendship we have.

Anyway, maybe I hold dear to all the relationships I have with people. That is why I am feeling this way. I am learning to be gracious but sometimes I must admit that it is tough - I guess I am still training myself to be patient and more understanding.

I just reached home. I was out with the running gang for dinner and then went up to the 37th storey of Standard Chartered Building to watch the last episode of the Fireworks Festival done by a team from China. The view from where we were were spectacular. It was a waste I did not bring my camera as I was at the Leaders' Retreat. Anyway, I enjoyed viewing the pyrotechnic display.

Before I came online to write this blog, I spent some time in prayer and shared with the Lord what I wrote above. I pray I will still fix my eyes on Him as I lead tomorrow and that I will not let circumstances distract me. I do not know why but in my heart there is this feeling that I am trying to impress people with my service tomorrow than having the desire to glorify God. This is a concern for me as I do not want to let pride to come into the picture as the heart of worship is all about God - not me, the music, the words, the atmosphere, etc.

Well, I pray God will be my side as I lead. May He increase and I decrease during the time of praise and worship.

I shall try to sleep soon. For those going to church tomorrow, have a wonderful time blessing the name of Jesus and learning from His Word. Those hesitating for whatever reasons, I pray you will try to go no matter how you are feeling and let God minister to your heart as you worship Him.

Let everything that has breath praise the Lord!

"Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue lasts only a moment." Proverbs 12:19

"Let everything that has breath praise the LORD. Praise the LORD." Psalm 150:6

Be A Lion-Slayer!

I am now in The Coffee Conniosseur along Boat Quay. I am meeting the running gang later for dinner after their run and also to watch the last episode of the Fireworks Festival along Marina Bay. I missed the first yesterday as I was at the Worship Team rehearsal. I heard from friends who went that it was good! Sigh. Anyway, I am thankful I can watch today's.

I attended the Leaders' Retreat from 9am to around 3pm. It was a good session as we evaluated what the church did for the past one year - giving thanks to God for the many things that went well and seeking His forgiveness for those that we fumbled. We also discussed a little of what the church is to do next year.

I like the devotion that my Senior Pastor gave at the beginning of the session. She urged the leaders not to let the past mistakes that the church did and the conflicts that we had with one another to haunt and stifle what we are to do for the future. Instead she encouraged us to move on and let God lead us accordingly from where we left off.

She also spurred the leaders to not let difficulties faced in ministries to discourage us but instead to be ready to face the odds. This then will allow us to trust in God totally as we know we will not be able to deal with them in our own strength and understanding. She parallelled the odds we sometimes encounter as that of a lion suddenly pouncing onto our path. The natural reaction is for us to run away. Instead she told us to be a lion-chaser. To run after the lion and kill it. She challenged the leaders to be revolutionaries and not reaction-aries. She shared at the end a manifesto which I failed to note down in my PDA. I have requested for her powerpoint file. When I get it, I will share them in the next blog. Below is the Bible reference that my pastor used to illustrate her points.

Well, I left the retreat refreshed unlike previous years when I was more disheartened than encouraged. It has also excited me to consider ways to steer the Missions ministry since next year's theme is on "Outreach - His Commission." Of course I need the Lord to help me.

I am also looking forward to tomorrow's worship session at the 11:15am service. May the church have a wonderful time worshipping the Lord and may God be pleased with it. :)

Thanks be to God for today!

"Benaiah son of Jehoiada was a valiant fighter from Kabzeel, who performed great exploits. He struck down two of Moab's best men. He also went down into a pit on a snowy day and killed a lion. And he struck down a huge Egyptian. Although the Egyptian had a spear in his hand, Benaiah went against him with a club. He snatched the spear from the Egyptian's hand and killed him with his own spear. Such were the exploits of Benaiah son of Jehoiada; he too was as famous as the three mighty men. He was held in greater honor than any of the Thirty, but he was not included among the Three. And David put him in charge of his bodyguard." 2 Samuel 23:20-23

My Identity Is In Christ Alone!

Today has been a super-long day for me. Started at 6:30am when I met my accountability group for a time of fellowship. Then it was to my church before heading to Paya Lebar Methodist Church for the Young Methodist Leaders' Conference mentors' prayer meeting.

It was a great time spent praying for the mentors and also for the participants. I am looking forward to the conference next month - it will be my first time leading a group at the retreat and I still do not know what God can do through me. I guess I shall take the next few weeks to seek Him in this.

I went back to my own church after that and spent the whole afternoon preparing for the Worship Team rehearsal and also for Sunday's service. By then I was already drained.

I met a brother and sister-in-Christ just before the practice to discuss with them about their wedding plans at the end of the year. I am glad to be able to help coordinate their big day. Last Sunday I was asked by my Assistant Pastor to help another couple in their wedding preparations. Though I do not know them, I agreed since God has given me this experience. May the Lord use me to lighten the loads of these my siblings-in-Christ. I also hope to know them better and to make their wedding a memorable one.

A dear brother, who is supposed to be the drummer for this week, could not join us tonight as he could not secure an air-ticket back to Singapore from Thailand. We managed to cope without him when another brother, who is rostered to play the bass, covered the percussions instead. The rehearsal was a refreshing time for me as the words of all the songs ministered to me. I want to share the lyrics of the closing song - I was affirmed of my identity in Christ and it brings comfort and joy that I have a mighty God as my source of strength and help when in need.

Who Am I?

Verse 1:
Who am I? That the Lord of all the earth
would care to know my name, would care to feel my hurt.
Who am I? That the bright and morning star
would choose to light the way, of my ever wondering heart.
Not because of who I am, but because of what You've done.
Not because of what I've done, but because of who You are.

Chorus:
I am a flower quickly fading, here today and gone tomorrow;
a wave tossed in the ocean, a vapor in the wind.
Still You hear me when I'm calling, Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
and You've told me who I am,
I am Yours.

Verse 2:
Who am I? That the eyes that see my sin
would look on me with love, and watch me rise again.
Who am I? That the voice that calmed the sea
would call out through the rain, and calm the storm in me.
Not because of who I am, but because of what You've done.
Not because of what I've done, but because of who You are.

I hope you too are touched by the meaningful and powerful words of affirmation!

Well, the team can only practice that much. The rest we want to leave it to the Lord to guide us accordingly. May His name be glorified! May the church worship Him in spirit and in truth!

Tomorrow is another long day as I have a leaders' retreat to attend. Shall look forward to it anyway!

I guess that is all for this day that the Lord has made for all. Thanks be to Him!

Here's wishing all a restful and blessed weekend!

"Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God." Colossians 3:16

Friends Do Not Exploit

Last night I was discouraged over something that a colleague of mine did to me. She asked for a favour last week to write an article for her. Though I was not really that keen as I was quite anxious over mum's medical report, I agreed anyway since she told me it was urgent.

She gave me a deadline and it was to be submitted by today. I quickly rushed the research, stayed up late and also cancelled a couple of appointments just so that I could complete the assignment.

Then came a call from her yesterday at around 10pm. She basically told me that she does not need the article anymore as she felt that the one she did was more suitable. I was quite puzzled when I heard that. I asked her how come she was also working on an article when she told me last week that she would not have the time to do so? She was stumped for a moment and gave the reason that she wanted to choose between the two when both are completed. That was the last straw - I shared with her my disappointment as in her approach towards the whole matter. Though she apologised, I felt I was being made use of.

When I was spending some time praying about the above-mentioned, I was just asking myself how many times have I been exploited by some of my friends? Why is it that I spared some thoughts for them and yet they are not doing the same for me? Am I being stupid? Am I too nice? These questions I asked were not meant to boast about the sacrifices I make for others even when I do not feel like it. They were more of an evaluation for me as to what I should do next time should another call for help come.

I was already towards the last segment of the 25-page article - now they are but of no use anymore. Though some may say preparing them did help in my knowledge of the topic written but that is not the point. The point is why are others being exploited by the very people whom they regard as friends?

The thoughts I have shared so far are also a chance for me to reflect on how I treat my own friends.

So what is my conclusion to this whole incident after praying about it? Well, I will still do what I can for my friends but with the motive of glorying God and not to win the favours of man. Though I cannot deny I will question the motive the next time a favour is being asked, I will not let this stop me from helping others.

I decided to blog this basically for all of us to think about the way we treat others. A simple question for us to consider - do we want to do to others what we do not want others to do to us? The answer will reveal a lot about us. Spare a thought for our friends. They have feelings too.

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving." Colossians 3:23-24

"An unfriendly man pursues selfish ends; he defies all sound judgment." Proverbs 18:1

"For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice." James 3:16

God's Timing Is Always Spot-On!

Not long ago I shared about my discouragement in leading the missions ministry in church as in how I felt drained, lost and running out of ideas as to how else to steer the committee. Well, this morning and early afternoon I received a boost in my service to the Lord after I had a time of fellowship with my Pastor-in-charge.

After she shared with me about the directions the church is heading next year, I was encouraged and motivated to seek the Lord as to what He wants the committee to do and how we can complement and supplement the church in this area of service. There are a lot to do but I shall not let these taunt me. May the Lord be my source of strength and help.

I praise the Lord for sending someone like my Senior Pastor to spur me on at the appropriate time. Just last night when I was doing a report for the Last Local Conference, I shared my frustrations, disappointments, personal shortomings and struggles as a chairperson. I guess God knew I have reached a stage where I need to be refreshed and encouraged. Truly He knows best!

Yesterday I was also feeling bad about not being supportive towards someone's idea and desire for something. I gave my views based on my ever logical thinking and concerns but I failed to see the part where it could have made the person happy if I had supported the suggestion. I learnt and I praise the Lord for the lesson taught.

At the beginning of this week I was sharing how this week would be a busy one. Well, half of it is gone and I praise God that He has been sustaining me thus far.

I shall stop here for now.

"Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him." Psalm 34:8

My God Is Real!

I am back in Ngee Ann City Coffee Bean. One of the supervisors just voted me as the most frequent customer to the joint. Candidly, that is. Actually, I did not plan to visit the joint. I only made the decision when my parents decided to spend some time on their own after mum's last radiotherapy session.

By the way, mum has been certified well - the tumour on the cervix is gone. Completely healed! Praise the Lord! She need not undergo radiotherapy treatment anymore. All she need to do now is to visit the specialist once a month for the next half a year. I was so relieved when I got the report and I just could not contain my joy. I basically messaged a couple of people to share with them the goodness of the Lord.

This is now a load off my shoulders. It has been a burden for the past few months but now that I have received this result, it was worth the struggle. I also want to thank all my loved ones, siblings-in-Christ and friends who have prayed for mum and my family and also offered words of encouragement - you have been a great blessing to us!

God, along the way, gave me affirmations through a few people that mum would be healed. Each time I received these words, I always claimed them in my heart and believed that God would see mum and my family through. A sister once urged me to pray that mum would be healed completely so that the family can proclaim with confidence to others that the God whom we worship is real and powerful. Now that it has happened, I want to proclaim that it is indeed true. We also want to give all thanks and praise and glory to Him!

I guess mum and dad can now enjoy their Vietnam trip this Friday. I pray the five days they will be spending together will be a refreshing one.

I have another 'good' news to share - my application for a PHD scholarship was unsuccessful. :) Thanks be to God for the experience anyway. The panel encouraged me to apply again next year - they told me basically that I am not ready this year due to the request I made for a year's deferment should I get it - this was due to mum's ill-health. The other reason was that I am not experienced enough as compared to the rest of the candidates. I accepted their decision and will see where God wants me to go when the door is opened again.

Now that I have written the above-mentioned, I can see God's timely plan in revealing both good and not-so-good news on the same day. They basically balanced out. :) I am grateful to Him for all the blessings bestowed upon me.

Well, another thing I want to thank God for - I managed to choose all the songs for this Sunday's service. I was quite anxious yesterday but after talking to the preacher last night and praying about it, I was able to decide on the songs without much of a problem. I basically went to Botanic Garden for a time of quiet and praise this morning and that was when I confirmed the list! Hallelujah!

Okie, time for me to key off.

"Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray. Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of praise. Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective." James 5:13-16

Differences Can Be Resolved Peacefully!

I thank God for the two South Koreans who were released by the Talibans. I will continue to pray for the remaining 19 still held captive. Someone asked me before about my feeling on this incident - whether I am angry with the Muslim extremists? Frankly, I am not. I feel more sadness than anger - not just with this particular group of people but with human beings, in general.

I am sad that one fellow human is killing another just because one holds a stronger belief in something which then leads him to commit an extreme act.

All these taking of innocent lives and wars and religious and political differences will continue to persist from one generation to another so long as two parties are not willing to seek peace and understand each other better. Impatience, pride, judgmental spirit, hatred, bitterness and unforgiveness are always the cause of this strife!

I know it is never easy to deal with the differences of humans but do not because of this, cause one to believe that it is okay to kill just so that the message can be put across strongly to another party. Let us look back in history - many lives have been taken, have the differences been solved? No! Why can't then we learn from these past experiences? It is a vicious cycle. Are we blind to this? Or are humans too slow in realising?

I would love to bring in my religious stand on this since these South Koreans are my brothers and sisters-in-Chirst but I am not going to because that is not the point. The point I want to bring across is this - let us stop being childish and start waking up our foolish ideas. I have never been in the political scene and I do not know what the leaders of governments are thinking but one need not be a politician to know that everything takes time to resolve - one just need to be patient and have the willingness to give and take. We can never always have a win-win situation but so long as we keep trying, this world will be a better place to live in. Lives of our fellow humans will be preserved and peace will prevail. Let us let love cover over a multitude of sins and differences. My thoughts may be idealistic. Will it work? Yes! The question is - are we willing to wait to see things change by the effort we put in to settle matters peacefully?

Well, just my thoughts as a commoner.

Anyway, I am actually trying to prepare for the songs for this Sunday's praise and worship session but unable to do so because I have yet to hear from the preacher for this Sunday. I have listed a couple of songs which I think can be used but I guess I can only confirm them after I have received the sermon outline.

It is actually quite frustrating but I quickly channelled that feeling to God - knowing that I do not want this waiting to lead me to sin against Him and the preacher. I also do not want to open avenues for the devil to lay a foothold. The reason why I want to finalise the list soon is so that I can send it out to the Worship Team - to allow them to practice on their own first.

I am now in Millennia Walk Coffee Bean - decided to come here to listen to some music, read a book and also to let God inspire me as to what songs I can use for this Sunday. It is a quiet and nice place to be at as compared to the one in Ngee Ann City.

I guess I shall end here for now.

Peace to all mankind!

"Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it." Psalm 34:14

"When a man's ways are pleasing to the LORD, he makes even his enemies live at peace with him." Proverbs 16:7

"Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord." Romans 12:17-19

"For, "Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech. He must turn from evil and do good; he must seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayer, but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil." 1 Peter 3:10-12

"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins." 1 Peter 4:8

Reacting Towards Circumstances

A few interesting things happened today which I want to thank the Lord for. Well, if you have guessed correctly - yup, I am writing this blog in Ngee Ann City Coffee Bean. I think by now those of you who have been reading my blogspot know that I frequent this cafe a lot, at least for now when I am still on my sabbatical.

I have shared before that many of the staff here know me by name and each time they see me, they would give me the broadest smile ever. What I did not share about is this particular staff whom I see very often but he never gave me a smile, not even once. But each time when I see him, I would just smile at him and say, "hello!"

Anyway, just now I met this interesting gentleman again. I smiled and to my surprise, he returned a smile! Praise the Lord! It sounds trivial in what I have just written. To me, it means a lot because that indicated the ice is now broken and probably I may move one step forward and begin to talk to him. Well, I shall do this another time. Shan't scare him for now.

When I arrived at the cafe, I realised all the tables except one near the power sockets have been occupied. But someone at the other table has already plugged into the power source. When one of the cafe supervisors saw that I was trying to locate for a power socket, she kindly passed me an extension plug so that I can tap on the power source too. I was very touched by her thoughtfulness. Praise the Lord for providing through this kind lady.

Another encounter I want to share. I was on my way to town from home. While walking along the underground tunnel to the train station, I saw two secondary school-boys throwing rugby ball to and fro in the station. I told them not to do so as they might break a few things. I walked on after that. The train arrived and coincidentally we boarded the same carriage. I smiled at them and started talking to them. I asked them whether they were ruggers and they said they play for the school. When I heard that, I used this topic to continue our conversation. I even invited them to join the youths on Sunday for the touch-rugby game. They said they will try to come. I shall hope for it.

I realised encounters like what I have shared above always make my day! It is just a matter of how I deal with them as they come along. I could have ignored the guy who does not smile at me and bear a grudge against him for being arrogant. The question is - what is the point? By reacting that way, I have built up walls and even spoilt my mood. As for the two boys whom I asked not to play in the train station, I could have made some assumptions about them as being childish and inconsiderate. I could have continued to show them my fierce look when we entered the same carriage. The question again - what is the point? By feeling this way, I have closed the door to knowing them better.

I guess at the end of the day, it is up to us whether we want to make the best of opportunities to enjoy each day of our pilgrim's journey. Many times we say people or situations spoil our day but think again - most of the time, it is us who spoil it by our reactions.

I want to thank God for a few other things - for granting journey mercies to my friend and her mother during their holidays; for protecting another dear friend against serious injury in an accident; for giving my God-sister a favourable result for her 'O' Level Chinese examination.

Time for me to stop here. Thanks be to God for a good start to a busy week. :)

"... give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:18

Everything Is Possible In Christ!

This new week has a lot of things that I need to do. I also need the Lord to lead and guide me accordingly. Mum will be going for her last radiotherapy session this Wednesday. After that she will go for a scan. I have been feeling quite anxious the past few days about this. I have been praying that the result will reveal that mum is completely healed.

I am also going by faith in the above-mentioned because I have booked for mum and dad to go on a short holiday (5 days) to Vietnam beginning Friday. I was praying whether I should do so and was at peace throughout the time I was seeking God regarding this decision.

I am also leading the praise and worship for the 11:15am service next Sunday. I have not prayed and thought about it. I hope I will be able to listen to the Lord as to what He wants me to do. I am looking forward to it but at the same time, I have this burden of being distracted by the busy schedules.

This Saturday is also the Leaders' Retreat which is another area where I need to start asking the Lord as to what else He wants the Missions Ministry to do for the new church year. Next year's focus is on outreach and mission - that means the Missions Ministry will need to do more. It is a daunting task but I pray, with God being our Guide, all in the committee will see where God wants us to go and do.

It is quite scary as I look at the above things that I need to do - I know all will turn out well but the human fear tells me otherwise.

Anyway, funnily I had some things which I wanted to talk about in today's blog but facing the monitor now, I cannot recall what they were. I will write again should I remember.

I shall look forward to this brand new week with joy and hope. May God be my help. I shall spend some time in prayer after this to surrender to God the above-mentioned and also to pray for a few people whom I feel a burden for.

A new week of adventures, here I come!

"Sing to him, sing praise to him; tell of all his wonderful acts. Glory in his holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the LORD rejoice. Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always." Psalm 105:2-4

"Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you." Psalm 9:10

Zero Has Value

Have you ever had your teacher calling you "stupid"? Have you ever got your parents calling you "good-for-nothing"? Have you ever heard your friends calling you "lousy"? Have you felt yourself being the lowliest of the lowlies; that you are flawed; that you are a mistake caused by your parents or for that matter, God?

I felt the above-mentioned many times in my growing up years especially when I faced failures or when I could not reach certain expectations set by my parents or when I had made some major mistakes or when I was lagging behind or when I compared myself with others who are doing far better than me or when I faced rejections of any kind (be it in my work proposals, ministry ideas, relationships, etc). Even now I still feel that I am not good enough occasionally.

This afternoon God opened my eyes to His impression of me. I was with the Youth Ministry Mentors (YMMs) for their monthly get-together where they come for a time of worship, sharing about their walk with God lately and updating one another of the upcoming events for the ministry and also praying for and with one another.

After a time of praise, we were shown a video clip called "Full Flame" by Reinhard Bonnke where he shared to a group of Brazilians how God chooses and uses people for His ministry. He brought to light the 12 disciples that He chose - if you look at them individually you will realise that they were people of no or little significance. One of them was a tax-collector, some were fishermen and there was even one who was a thief.

The evangelist is not saying that God cannot use significant people for His work. He can! Brother Bonnke, who is a German and was not good in his studies (especially Mathematics), wants every individual to know that no one is useless, good-for-nothing, flawed or a mistake in the eyes of God. When he was young he was called a "zero". In Germany, that basically means he is no good!

Reinhard Bonnke evangelises mainly in Africa - he was called by God to go to this land when he was a mere 10-year old boy. Can you imagine that? He has touched millions of lives in his ministry, brought many of them to Christ and still making a difference in people's lives till date.

Brother Bonnke wants all of us to know that when we as "zeroes" stand with the ONE who created all things, there is value to that digit and that we can make an impact everywhere we go and with whatever capabilities we have.

When one "zero" is being used by the ONE, 10 lives can be touched; when two "zeroes" are being used, 100 lives will be blest; when three "zeroes" are called forth, 1000 lives will be transformed; and the figures go on and on and on and eventually millions will be saved. Can we see now how significant we can be? If the 12 disciples Jesus chose can minister to the multitudes, so can we!

After the get-together, I headed for town to Borders to collect some books I ordered. Before going to the bookstore, I had to alight at Dhoby Ghaut MRT Station. I decided to detour to Fort Canning Park to spend some time with God and to speak with Him about the lesson I learnt from the video. It basically affirmed in me that I am a somebody and that God can use me to bless anybody if I am willing to. I made a commitment to the Lord that from now onwards, I will avail myself anytime, anywhere to bless anyone He wants me to. May He equip me accordingly. May many be blest through me though I know I will fail at times. May His name be glorified in all that I do.

I am still tired physically but amazingly what I experienced above has refreshed me completely. Truly, the Lord is good. Thanks be to Him!

For those reading this blog, your zero has value. Find what your strengths and giftings are - every one has at least one - use it to the fullest.

Well, the football season commences today. I am looking forward to watching the Liverpool-Aston Villa match later at 12:15am. I will share more on this football issue in my next blog.

Here's wishing all of you a blessed and restful weekend!

"For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. For it is written: "I will destroy the wisdom of the wise; the intelligence of the intelligent I will frustrate." Where is the wise man? Where is the scholar? Where is the philosopher of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? For since in the wisdom of God the world through its wisdom did not know him, God was pleased through the foolishness of what was preached to save those who believe. Jews demand miraculous signs and Greeks look for wisdom, but we preach Christ crucified: a stumbling block to Jews and foolishness to Gentiles, but to those whom God has called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength. Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: "Let him who boasts boast in the Lord." 1 Corinthians 1:18-31

"O LORD, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD. You hem me in — behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain. Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me," even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with you. If only you would slay the wicked, O God! Away from me, you bloodthirsty men! They speak of you with evil intent; your adversaries misuse your name. Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD, and abhor those who rise up against you? I have nothing but hatred for them; I count them my enemies. Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." Psalm 139

Honour God At All Times!

Finally I am done with my involvement in this year's National Day celebration. It is a hot day and I decided to come to my favourite coffee joint in Ngee Ann City to cool myself down with a serving of Ice Mango Creme. I did not have enough sleep -tempted to go home to nap but decided against it. I shall endure till tonight.

I had to write a report and throughout the time when I was facing my computer, I was thinking about how I should word it. It burdened my heart because what I had to write will affect an individual. I could not lie as I am accountable to God for it. I prayed for wisdom and after much consideration, I finished it up. I related the whole account and gave my explanation. I also made some recommendations to the whole matter. I pray all will turn out fine for everyone eventually. I know it will because I tried all I could to honour God in what I have stated.

I have been informed in an email that a minister will be worshipping in my church this Sunday. Initially my heart became anxious as I will be playing the drums and I am still unsure of certain parts. In that short moment of fear, I was being rebuked with regards to my focus on the whole matter. The question that hit me was this - "Who am I trying to please?" The answer was obvious - I am supposed to please God and not the minister, who is also a human. I sought the Lord for forgiveness and peace was restored in my heart.

Well, I guess I shall stop here for now and do some reading.

"These are the things you are to do: Speak the truth to each other, and render true and sound judgment in your courts; do not plot evil against your neighbor, and do not love to swear falsely. I hate all this," declares the LORD." Zechariah 8:16-17

"Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ." Galatians 1:10

Do Not Take Things For Granted

I just had a nice cool bath. Returned home not too long ago. It has been a long day and night yesterday. Finally it is almost over as in my involvement with this year's National Day Parade (NDP). I need to do more clearing up later in the morning. I hope to get them over and done with by noon.

All went pretty well at the parade. All had fun. I had to carry out my duties and walking was a must. It did not help that both my knees have been painful and weak. A couple of times they felt like they were going to snap and I am not kidding when I said that. Anyway, praise God for having sustained me.

I had a couple of good and bad encounters throughout. I shall not name the bad ones. No point as we are all humans. I basically had to deal with a few very impatient and unreasonable people but all turned out fine in the end. I had fun with some kids who enjoyed ravaging through their goodie-bags. Some complained they did not have this or that item and I had to ask the Ambassadors of the Sea (students in marine creature's outfits) to obtain the items for them.

I had to help a mum babysit her three-year daughter - she needed to go to the restroom and there was no one else to look after her little one. Anyway, I did some balloon-sculpting for the cute girl - three in all. I hope the additional items did not add to the burden of the mother.

I also helped a lady in her 60s to look for her seat. After she had gone to the restroom, she could not remember where she was seated. I walked with her three times round the yellow zone but to no avail. I could tell she was anxious - got her a drink to cool down and continued searching for her family members when she was ready to move again. It was about half an hour later that she found her family. Poor lady - she was there to enjoy the parade but in the end, she had to go through the agony of locating her loved ones. Thank God all went well in the end.

Every year when the nation celebrates her birthday, I never fail to give thanks to God for this beautiful island-nation. Whenever I take taxis or when I am at the coffee shops, I do hear of people complaining about the government; about how stressful this society can be; about the high cost of living; about not having enough jobs and having a low salary; about why men need to do national service; about how this tiny red dot on the map is overcrowding.

I do not disagree with some of the above points made but looking at all these gripes, there are also many blessings which we fail to see in many occasions.

Singapore is a peaceful and prosperous country - we should be thankful for that. There are other countries who are constantly at war or facing poverties. As for government - yes, the People's Action Party has been in power for many years and yes, there is a lack of opposition parties to voice otherwise but this government has seen Singapore through the past 42 years without much of a scandal as compared to a lot of other nations where the governments are unstable, always full of differences and quarrels, officials being corrupted and all. Some citizens want opposition parties in Parliament but let us pray that regardless of who the main party is, the officials are ethical and upright.

No doubt the cost of living is rising and there is a always a competition for better jobs. Salaries may not rise as equally fast as the cost of living. All these are real concerns but if we can just sit back for a moment, should we not be thankful that at least we have a place to live in, a job we are holding and a salary we are still drawing monthly? There are many in this world who dare not dream of what tomorrow lies because today may be their last.

As for National Service - if no one takes up the role to protect this nation, who will? Employ mercenaries? Nothing beats protecting your own country. I had served my national service and I enjoyed the 2 1/2 years with the friends I got to know, the skills I learnt, the memories I cherished. There were bad memories (especially the physical and mental aspects) but still those years allowed me to see life differently - no more sheltered by my parents but going into the unknown on my own and pulling it through with God's help. If the country has given me so much, I should give back in return a portion - basically to pledge my loyalty to the nation and call Singapore my home. Whether this tiny dot is overcrowding or not, I am not too overly concerned about it so long as there is harmony among the people. This is something so delicate that it should not be taken for granted.

Well, I have said enough. I just re-read what I wrote above and it sounded as if I am a pro-government citizen. Well, I am basically stating facts and I am reminding myself to be thankful that I have a place to call my own. All these years as I was growing up, I have learnt to be contented with what I have and to give thanks for them - hence what I have written is a reflection of my gratefulness to God for all the blessings He has bestowed upon this land and me.

Thanks and glory be to God! Before I end, do pray for this nation regularly. We should not be complacent but to trust that God will continue to bless every Singaporean.

Time for me to sleep. Happy Birthday, Singapore! Good night!

"I will make you into a great nation and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you." Genesis 12:2-3

Give Ourselves Another Chance

I was on my way to Tampines MRT Station in the evening to get a lift from a dear brother-in-Christ to a dinner appointment with 6 other brothers-in-Christ near Changi. When I was in City Hall MRT Station, there was an announcement about a train disruption between Tampines and Pasir Ris MRT Stations. I thought a train had broken down.

When I alighted at Tampines, I saw a lot of police officers and the train line on the opposite track was closed. When I got out of the station, I asked one of the officers what had happened and he told me someone had fallen onto the track. It was not certain then whether he or she accidentally or purposely fell off the platform. The body was apparently still under the train.

While waiting for my brother to come by, I was near a police van. I did not know that it would be the van which would be transporting the body to the mortuary. I saw the undertakers carrying the body in a bag. It saddened my heart when I witnessed the whole incident.

This is not the first time that an individual had fallen onto a train track. Many of these were due to suicide attempts. I sure hope this evening's incident was not one of them.

There are a lot of sufferings in this world we live in - people who are broken-hearted; who have lost their jobs; who are facing financial difficulties; who find no meaning in life anymore; who are suffering from a sense of guilt for something they had done in the past and feel that their deeds are unforgiveable; who have low self-esteem; who are oppressed spiritually; who have failed dreams/ambitions. Of course there are many other reasons but these are a few I can name for now.

I know it is not easy to face all these problems and burdens. If anyone reading this blog is going through a tough time, please do not fight life's battles alone. Talk to someone about it.

I, for one, had thoughts of ending my life a couple of times when I faced many failures and disappointments in the past. I guess I did not do it simply because there were people around whom I can talk to; people who were there for me. It did make my burdens lighter when I talked to someone about them. It also shifted my attention from one of hopelessness to a light at the end of the tunnel. Slowly the thought of death now shifts to the thought of pressing on and giving myself a second chance.

I also have my God to remind me that He is always there when I need Him. Till date, He has not failed me though sometimes I wonder why He takes so long to help me in some of my struggles. I guess the verse in the Bible that says, "He makes all things beautiful in His time" reminded me that He is still helping me but not based on my timing but His. Though I had to wait, it was all worth the while as He still met my needs.

To any of you out there who are thinking of committing suicide, please give yourself another chance even if you had given yourself many chances already. Please talk to someone - a family member, a friend, a colleague, a counsellor, a teacher, a pastor, a police officer, a passer-by. I am a Christian - if you see a church, go in there and speak to one of the workers. If you want, say a word of prayer (even though you may not be a Christian) - "Jesus Christ, help me in my time of needs. I am at my wit's end. Come to my aid and show me the way. Amen." Please remember that death is not an option to life's problems.

To the rest of us, open our eyes to those around us. If you see any one in need, go to the person and find out whether he or she is fine. That one move may save that person's life. You may think that you are not equipped to help. Sometimes the best help is not in the talking but the listening. Ever wondered why God gives us two ears but only one mouth? It is to remind us to listen more than to talk. We always watch movies that depict only super-heroes coming to the aid of those who are helpless or in trouble - do you know that you too can be a super-hero? No need to wear any colourful costumes or masks, just be a friend and make a difference in his or her life.

Well, what I witnessed this evening kind of took away the excitement that I had for the dinner. I thank God for reminding me that all of us need help some day from someone else - the challenge and encouragement is to approach that someone and go through life's jouney together. It makes the travelling easier to bear.

May the Lord comfort the family of the victim and provide for them accordingly.

I shall end here. I have a couple of other things that I want to write but shall leave them to another day.

"The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." Deuteronomy 31:8

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

Right The Wrongs

I feel as if I am going to fall sick - a little feverish. I was with one of the kids in church yesterday and he was down with flu. I can also sense the cough coming as there is this irritation around the throat area. It is also kind of sore.

I am now in Ngee Ann City Coffee Bean - as usual, I am here doing some readings, blogging and also writing a letter. A sister-in-Christ ever asked me why I like to frequent this joint - frankly I do not know. Whenever I want to do the above activities I mentioned, I would automatically just head for this joint. I guess knowing the staff also naturally brings me here since once in a while, they would come by my table and chat a little.

I am still on stand-by and I do not know whether I would be called up at all. I do not like this kind of uncertainty as it disrupts a lot of the plans I have in mind for the week. Anyway, since this is part and parcel of life here in Singapore, I shall not complain and adapt accordingly.

Have you ever had this uneasy feeling of being ignored? Or having this sadness in you because someone you hold dear to is drifting further and further away from the faith? Well, I am experiencing all of these today.

For the first incident, it simply makes me wonder whether I have offended that person who simply does not reply to my smses or MSN messages. I always hope to be rebuked if I have done something wrong against someone. Ignoring me simply does not help me in overcoming certain of my shortcomings. Anyway, I cannot recall offending this particular individual but I apologised anyway, just in case if I did but simply had no recollection.

For the second incident, it was simply a case of reading another dear sibling-in-Christ's blog where this particular individual mentioned about certain problems faced in her life. The burden I have is basically how she has drifted away from God and now depending on her own strength to deal with them. Before, she had experienced how God has seen her through her studies and all, doing well in the process but now, I do not know whether she had forgotten about His goodness and power.

Anyway, I am sharing all these not that I want to bring any one down but that I want these persons to know that I am praying for them. This may not be the best medium or way to solve the problems but I felt led to share them on this blog to show how sometimes tension and struggles happen amongst Christians which at the end of the day, must be dealt, with God as our help. I will also approach the individuals eventually.

My knees are still killing me. I simply cannot squat now - it will be a great struggle to stand up after that. I hope they will be well soon. If the condition is still bad in the next few days, I guess I will have to see the specialist to have them examined.

I shall end here for now.

"Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, for each one should carry his own load. Anyone who receives instruction in the word must share all good things with his instructor. Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers." Galatians 6:1-10

Fleeing Is Not Always A Sign Of Cowardice

Sometimes I have myself to blame for some of the physical sufferings I am going through. I was with the youths at Tavistock Park - they were playing touch rugby. I have always loved playing this sport and being a spectator was not enough for me. I was very tempted to join in. Of course I did though I knew I should not as my left knee-cap was still recovering. Running in weird angles and everywhere also did not help. Sigh. Well, my both knees are super painful now. I cannot squat and when I walk, they are super sore and I could also feel the looseness of the joints. If I am angry, I can only be angry with myself.

Now I can only pray for the Lord's grace to be upon me. I hope He can heal me completely from this injury as I really want to exercise again. It is frustrating when I so desire to work my body out but there is this inconvenience preventing me from doing so. :(

Anyway, I did enjoy myself tremendously especially when I could outrun some of the youths who were chasing after me when I got hold of the ball. I guess this is the first and the last time I am able to play - I think it will be a long time before I could participate in the game again.

I guess from next week onwards, I will serve as a referee and be contented with that role for now.

Well, so much for that. I just got to know of a dear sister-in-Christ's grandma who just passed away. She asked me a couple of questions pertaining to her granny's faith and all. I hope she was able to understand my explanations. I am praying that the Lord will be close to the family during this period of mourning.

I attended the Youth Ministry session this morning and the topic of discussion was on sexual immorality. The youths were reminded what they should or should not be doing when it comes to matters of the heart. It is always that easy to cross the line and sinned against one another and God. I was taught that our body is a temple of the Holy Spirit - we should not defile it. I also learnt that God has given us our bodies as a trust - meaning to say we need to be good stewards of our bodies.

Well, if ever I get married, I know my body is for my spouse and it will not ever be used for other reasons when it comes to issues like sex. The youths were also challenged to flee from sexual sins as that is the best preventive measure one can take to avoid falling into the traps of the evil one. Ultimately we were reminded that things like sex and all are for the purpose of marriage and nothing else. If one can keep that in mind, he or she may strife less against falling into the temptation of pre-marital sex.

Fleeing is good at times - not a sign of cowardice but wisdom.

I guess that is all for today. My legs are really killing me - wearing knee braces for both legs now.

Thanks be to God for everything.

"Everything is permissible for me"—but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible for me"—but I will not be mastered by anything. "Food for the stomach and the stomach for food"—but God will destroy them both. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. By his power God raised the Lord from the dead, and he will raise us also. Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, "The two will become one flesh." But he who unites himself with the Lord is one with him in spirit. Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body." 1 Corinthians 6:12-20

Do Not Be Affected Easily

Today has been a long day. I have been out since morning as I needed to be at the National Day Parade (NDP) briefing. After that I needed to inspect some areas. In the afternoon, I headed to Sentosa Siloso Beach to meet some siblings-in-Christ for a game of volleyball and frisbee. I did not play much as I was quite tired but I had a good time of fellowship with them. We also had dinner and dessert together.

Two things happened which taught me a lesson. It has got to do with people who sometimes get on our nerves - either they spoke bad things behind our backs or they just simply did not follow the instructions given and fouled up in the process.

Both I encountered today - the former happened to a sister-in-Christ and the latter was experienced by me. I shall not go into details but the one thing I was taught is - do not let people and circumstances affect us which in turn make us judge others and sin against God by entertaining thoughts which are unacceptable to Him.

By saying this, I do not mean that we let the matter rest and not deal with it if there is a need to but when it happens, do not let anger cause us to sin. It is tough because our natural human instinct is to react but I was reminded to practise self-control and patience.

I hope I am not being vague here but really, it is pointless to let people or circumstances spoil our day when there are so many other happy and pleasant things for us to enjoy and give thanks to the Lord for. Correction - we should also give thanks for the bad and unpleasant things as well and move on from there. If we continue to dwell upon it, we are actually allowing the evil one to lay a foothold. We should be careful at all times, to be watchful, not to fall into his traps.

I think I over-ate - must watch my food intake as I am putting on weight due to the lack of exercise.

Well, I am sleepy. Time to go to bed. Another long day awaits. :)

"Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil." Psalm 37:7-8

Why Puff Our Lives Away?

I got to know of a Warrant Officer in my army unit who is now suffering from the advance stage of lung cancer. I was quite close to him when I was serving my National Service. I remembered him as a non-commissioned officer who smokes non-stop. I also recalled a time when I was talking to him - basically took the opportunity to encourage him to stop this harmful habit. He said it is impossible as he has been puffing since he was in his early twenties.

It saddens my heart how one would want to destroy his life by doing something he knows is harmful to the body. The ironic thing is this particular individual is paying to have his life snuffed out - basically buying packs upon packs of cigarettes daily. Those laughing to the banks are the manufacturers of these tobacco products. So what if they put the warning and picture of how harmful smoking is on the packaging - to them it is nothing difficult. By doing so, they are in a way telling people they are doing their part for the society when in actual fact, they do not care at all whether one would be dead tomorrow so long as the profits still roll in.

Well, if they want to show that they really care for mankind, then stop the production completely! It is something unimaginable but I do pray occasionally that one day authorities will stand up against these heartless people and put a stop to this nonsense.

Of course these companies would reason that it is the choice of the individuals whether to smoke or not. True but if they care enough and still have a heart, they should stop this trade once and for all so that individuals do not even have a choice to make.

My aunty died of lung cancer in 1996 because she was a victim of secondary smoke from all the smokers she was surrounded with in the factory she was working in. I was very bitter about it and still is, I must admit. She basically needed to work to earn a living and to help support her family. What she got on top of that is death. I am learning not to judge smokers but whenever I get the chance I will tell them to try to stop.

"If possible, try to smoke less. Stop smoking completely is the best." This is the phrase I always use when I see people puffing their lives away.

Well, I know some people reading this blog may hate me for it or may disagree but the above-mentioned are my views. I guess I have the right to share them.

The Warrant Officer I mentioned above is a very nice gentleman - always there to give support or guidance in training. That is why I am even angrier that he is a victim of this society where we just do not have the guts to stand against what is not beneficial to the well-being of every human being on this earth.

That aside, I do know of Christians who smoke as well and I hope they will overcome and kick this habit as they jolly well know that the individual's body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. We are to be good stewards in what we have been given and I hope we are responsible enough to look after these blessings bestowed upon us. We can choose to ignore this responsibility but I do want to remind us that we are answerable to God for our actions when we meet Him eventually.

Wow, I sure sound very negative and sour over this issue. I hope by sharing these thoughts, it would spark in us to do something at least. Tell our smoking friends to stop is one way. It may not always work but at least we are doing something about it.

This morning my dear friend called to inform me that she has arrived safely in the country she is studying in. Praise the Lord for His journey mercies upon her.

Well, time to stop for now. My apologies if I had offended anyone in what I have written.

"Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body." 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

God Is My Shepherd!

I was at "Wayne's World" just now to do my monthly evaluation. "Wayne's World" was a comedy movie I watched many years ago - it showed these two guys who went to this place where they were in the line of path in which all the commercial aircrafts would fly and land. They would sit on the bonnet of their car and just watched planes after planes landing and taking off. My "Wayne's World" is a beach along the stretch of Changi coastline where I like to go and just sit on one of the stone-benches and watch all sorts of giant mechanised birds fly above me as I spend some time in quiet before the Lord. Well, of course it can be noisy at times when an aeroplane flies past but it was alright.

I had a great time with the Lord as I read my past month's journal-entries and also re-reading my blogs. Many things had happened in the month of July. It has been a tiring one basically but it was all worth it as I also learnt a lot from the experiences.

I have been drained physically, mentally and emotionally from having to handle mum's cancer saga. The falls and all that she had were a great burden for me as I do not wish mum to suffer physically and mentally. It frustrates me when I could not do much to prevent such accidents as I cannot be there for her all the time. I cannot also expect my family members to be there for her all the time. That is why this feeling of helplessness adds on to my already-exhausted self. I did learn something though. Actually it is more of a reminder - though my family and I cannot always be there for mum, there is one Person who can. He is none other than God Himself. With that in mind, every day I pray that He will be by mum's side to take care of all her needs. That brought a lot of comfort and peace in me.

By the way, thanks be to God that her condition is improving. She has two more radiotherapy sessions to go. In two weeks' time, she has to go for another scan after the last session and we would know by then whether the tumour is totally gone. I know it will as I believe God will answer my prayer and the prayers of my siblings-in-Christ who have been interceding for mum. I also want this complete healing to be done so that every one who knows about mum's condition can testify how great and real God is.

I have also been quite busy preparing to go back to work again after almost one year of sabbatical. A lot I have encountered during these several months of being away from work and doing other things that I usually cannot get to do if I am teaching. Praise the Lord for the experiences. I will write all that I have learnt from the various adventures next month when I officially end my sabbatical. The preparation I mentioned at the beginning of this particular paragraph is that of attending staff meetings to know what I am going to be doing when I start work again next month. I have been tasked with many responsibilities but I shall look forward to the challenges ahead.

I have also been helping a dear friend as much as I could to prepare for her trip overseas. I have learnt a lot from doing the various stuff and seeing God providing along the way. He has been good in clearing obstacles upon obstacles, right up to the very day she left which was yesterday. She had many to bring over and yesterday when she was checking in, the overall weight for her baggages exceeded what was allowed. Usually in cases like this, the passenger has to pay for the excess baggage. When I was told of this situation, I whispered a prayer immediately for the check-in staff to be lenient and understanding since my friend is a student. The Lord just told me to use this reason to inform the staff. I did just that. Guess what? The staff accepted the reason I gave and did not charge us for the excess. Praise the Lord. After that I shook the hand of the kind gentleman. :) I am also happy that all went well for my friend at the customs. It was tough to bid my friend farewell but thanks be to God for this opportunity that she has, to experience a different lifestyle overseas.

By the time I finish this blog, my friend would have landed and I wish her well in her endeavours ahead. May the Lord continue to lead her and provide for her in everything she does!

One thing I realised I have failed to do is in the area of the missions ministry in which I have been tasked to take care of. Though I am the chairperson, I realised I have not put my heart and soul in looking into the matters concerning the ministry. I do not wish to use this as an excuse but mum's health condition has drained me so much that I find it hard to do other things. Anyway, I have prayed and asked the Lord to recharge me and to give me a fresh beginning to this area of service.

I am now in Ngee Ann City Coffee Bean. It is always great to be here to just write about the Lord's goodness and also to share about the struggles faced in this pilgrim's journey. The staff in this cafe are friendly as always - greeting me with great enthusiasm and punching my orders without asking me what I would like to have since they already know my standard requests. Praise the Lord for every one of them whom to some extent have become my friends. Haha.

Okie, I shall end here as I may be meeting some siblings-in-Christ for dinner. Still waiting for their confirmation which I hope will come soon. I need time to travel to where they intend to eat.

Thanks be to God for the month of July and now for this new month. A lot of adventures ahead but looking forward to them. May God be my help as I go through each and every one of them!

"The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever." Psalm 23

Love The Accuser

I am at the airport now. I am going to send a dear friend off at around 9pm. Since I had nothing to do at home, I thought I come here early to just do some reading and also to write this blog. Time really flies and now my friend is leaving. I remembered we were talking about all the preparations and having a few more months before her departure. Anyway, I am going to miss her as she has been a wonderful friend - always a blessing in my life and I believe, in others as well.

Frankly, I do not really like farewells because to me it is a painful thing. It is always better to have friends, especially those whom I am close with, to be near than far so that it is easier to catch up. Nothing beats meeting up in person to fellowship. I guess there is a season for everything - sometimes facts like friends leaving for studies or to work are inevitable. I guess this is where I thank God for the advancement of technology where there are facilities like Skype, MSN, emails, etc, to maintain the line of communication.

This morning I learnt something about not spoiling someone's day because mine was spoilt by a lady I encountered with at the SingTel shop in Bugis Junction. I went to the shopping centre to change an item at a gift shop and decided to detour to the telecommunications shop to check out some handphone numbers. As the numbers were pinned on the board near the cashier, I had no choice but to squeeze my way through the queue to look at it. A while later, I heard this very hostile voice with this loud remark, "Excuse me!!! What are you trying to do?" I looked at this middle-aged lady and she glared at me. She said that I was standing too close to her when I was actually a few feet away from her. In fact when I was looking at the board, she was not there. Anyway, I told her I was looking at the numbers and she gave me this suspicious look, as if I was going to outrage her modesty by purposely standing too close to her. She continued to stare at me but I ignored her and went on to check out the mobile numbers.

When I turned around to walk away, the fierce lady still gave me that look. I went to her and asked whether she had an issue with me earlier when I was looking at the board. She asked me not to try to be funny and I was puzzled. Anyway, a SingTel staff who had seen me near the board told the lady that I was there before her.

You know, it is people like this lady who sometimes caused others who are innocent to be maligned. The worst thing is, it is a lady's word against that of a man. I was quite irked by this incident. If I had touched her, maybe then it would give her grounds to make certain accusations. I have to confess I had wanted to say something bad which might have hurt the lady's pride but I chose not to. Nonetheless I had to seek the Lord's forgiveness as I had already sinned against Him and the lady by having evil thoughts in my mind.

Anyway, when I was walking out of the shop, I prayed for the lady. I felt better after that.

Well, it was a sad incident but thanks be to God for it anyway.

I guess I shall stop here for now.

"Do not plot harm against your neighbor, who lives trustfully near you. Do not accuse a man for no reason —when he has done you no harm." Proverbs 3:29-30