Thursday, September 22, 2011

Tough Decisions

This morning I brought grandma out for breakfast and then did some marketing with her. We had chee cheong fun and each a cup of coffee. I want to do this often with her because her memory is slowly fading away and there may come a time when she will just be an empty shell where she may not even know what is going on in her life.

I basically want her to know that she is still being loved no matter how bad her dementia may be. Sometimes it is frustrating when she starts to throw her tantrums but she is after all my grandma and I cannot because of these inconveniences cause me to give up on her.

To me she is the greatest grandma because she took care of me since I was a baby. Mum and dad had to work and she was the one who took pains to tend to my daily needs. Even at this present age, she still has my well-being in mind. Though I am able to support myself now as an adult, every morning before I leave the house, she will just hand me a $2 note and ask me to use it to buy something to eat. $2 may not mean much nowadays but to me it is a lot because it was given to me with love.

I also remembered when I was learning to walk, I had two bad falls and my forehead was cut deeply by the edge of the door frame and needed stitching. Then my parents' relationship with grandma was not good and they blamed her for pushing me down. She just took it in her stride and went on to babysit me.

Anyway, I always keep the $2 notes grandma gave me and at the end of each month I would put the money back in her favourite bag so that she can use it for herself. She will not know that it is me who put the money there because at this age and with the deteriorating condition of her dementia, she is unable to think so much.

I walked her home before I left for a dear sister-in-Christ's office. May God continue to bless grandma' life richly.

I just did my quiet time and spent some moments praying. I have made a decision on a matter which I have been considering about for the past few days. It was not an easy one but I still had to make that tough choice. Well, I will leave it as that and not share it here as it is private. All I can say is that it is for the sake of another party which makes me decide on the above-mentioned.

I guess that is all. I do not know how the day will be but I will look forward to the adventures ahead.

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