End-Point And The Process

I just came back from cycling. A good two hours or so. From my place I went to Braddell Road and then to MacRitchie Reservoir where I spent some time by the dam area to reflect on some matters I have been burdened with throughout the second half of today. I also shared with God my concerns. In all I spent about 30 minutes there.

I decided to go home by backtracking the route I took earlier. I wanted to try another direction but looking at the time, I thought it was not that wise to do so. Perhaps another day.

In the morning, I was watching this video clip entitled "Beyond the Gates of Splendour." It was about the lives of 5 young missionaries who decided to go to Ecuador to reach out to the Acua tribe which was known to be very hostile and violent. One of the missionaries was Jim Elliot. To cut the story short, all 5 of them were killed by the tribesmen and their bodies were dumped into the river. It did not end there though. It also depicted how Jim Elliot's wife and few others decided to reach out to the same tribe and eventually many of the people turned their lives to Christ, even the killers of her husband and his four missionary-friends.

I know I am not doing any justice by summarising it this way. If you want to know more about it, you can go to YouTube and search the title of the clip as mentioned above.

“He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose” - Jim Elliot.

This quote has shown me what my life on earth is all about. Life is short, as we all know. Instead of always hoarding what we have, why not use some of these blessings to touch the lives of others? I have a dear friend who once shared with me, when I first got to know her, that she wants to give a portion of what she has to bless others. I was very encouraged by that!

I think doing the above-mentioned gives us more satisfaction in life than anything else in this world - hence the part on "to gain that which he cannot lose."

As I was reflecting on the story of Jim Elliot and his friends, I also learnt one more thing from them. These five men of God knew their end-point in life hence to them there is no fear going through the process.

If they had lived to tell their stories of their ministry in Ecuador, they would still meet God one day when they die of old age or illness. If they were to die while doing His work, which they did lose their lives, they still meet God.

That is why there are very few in this world who are willing to sacrifice so much, as would these men. Perhaps many of us are not sure of our end-point, hence we struggle a lot during the process.

The other lesson I learnt after receiving a sms from someone this afternoon is this - sometimes we fail to see the reason behind someone's action and hence we become too quick to fault that person. If we had sat down and reflected long enough, we would probably realize he or she had meant well all these while.

Yet another lesson which became a prayer for me - ‎"Lord, when I am far away from you and do not know whether certain decisions I need to make in life are pleasing and according to Your will, give me the humility to seek the godly counsel of others. Then give me the wisdom to decide and the courage to obey and do Your will and not mine. Amen."

The prayer above has reminded me that I must not put God to the test by doing something which I know may be against His will, as stated in the Bible, and then expect Him to right it, even though we know of the abundance of His grace. Yes, our walk with God may not always be close but during those times when we are unsure, we need to seek the godly counsel of others and then from there, help us make better decisions.

The above-mentioned is not meant to be holier-than-thou statements but they are some areas I am troubled about and felt the need to share here. I am also evaluating myself whether there are people whom I have misread their good intention because I am blinded by my selfish motives. I am also learning to seek the counsel of others when I am not sure of certain decisions which I may need to make at certain points of my life.

Well, my legs are aching but I feel good - in the cycling aspect where this is probably my first proper ride on my new bike over a longer distance; the time spent in reflection and prayer; and also coming home in one piece. :)

Good night and have a restful weekend ahead.

Nevermind The Inconveniences

I have about an hour before back-to-back meetings commence. The morning meeting is not so bad but it is the afternoon one which I am a little nervous about as we are meeting an important person which I am not at liberty to mention here.

Well, I hope everything will end as scheduled. Tonight I have another gathering which I hope I do not have to rush for.

Yesterday has been an eventful day for me. Towards the evening, I had to come back home at a last-minute's notice as grandma was throwing her tantrums again. As there was no one home, I had no choice but to head back to ensure that she is fine.

She was sharing her frustrations that no one loves her and the usual stuff. At one point she was also crying. I just listened to her as I felt she needed a listening ear. After that I prayed with her.

Sometimes it can be frustrating and inconvenient when I have to deal with situations like the above-mentioned but I learnt yesterday that there is no point questioning thoughts like "Why is God or life being so unfair to me?" or "Why can't my loved ones be healthy and okay so that all these inconveniences will not happen?"

I know they are all valid questions and everyone has the right to ask them but all these are part and parcel of life. Growing old is a natural thing. Being sick can happen to anyone. I have learnt in the past few months that it is pointless to ask the "Whys" anymore as they are quite rhetorical. I guess it is better to focus on the "Hows."

This is where God comes into the picture and the one main thing I can do is to pray. Some may ask, "So what, after that?" Well, to me, usually after praying it will help me look at things in perspective and this will allow me to deal with matters at hand more rationally. It also takes away the frustrations or the disappointments. All these then help me to see that as much as grandma needs my help and it may cost me something, she is afterall my grandma and if I can make a difference in her life by just being there for her, then so be it - I will be there for her! Sometimes I feel that it is easier and faster in handling matters with this attitude.

I hope I make sense here. Anyway, I went out to catch a breather once mum and dad came home. I joined a couple of friends to The Boiler Room to listen to some nice music. After that we had dinner at Vivocity.

This was where another incident happened. While waiting for our food to arrive, we heard screaming from the escalator area which was not too far away from the restaurant we were in. I decided to go and investigate as a crowd was building up.

On one of the escalators I noticed an elderly couple. It was the man I took notice of as he was bleeding from the forehead. I quickly rushed to him and requested for tissue papers from the people around as I needed to stop the bleeding. Praise God for a young parent - he took out a big pack of tissues from under the stroller and I quickly used a thick chunk of it and pressed against the gash which was quite deep.

Soon the security guards came with first-aid boxes. Two nurses were in the vicinity and they took out the gauzes and I used them to cover the wound. One of them called the ambulance and another kind gentleman went to buy a bottle of mineral water so that the injured man can take sips of it.

We occasionally probed whether he was okay by asking whether he felt giddy or numb or whether he saw white spots when blinking. Thank God there was nothing of that sort.

The ambulance came. The police took down my particulars. After that I joined my friends again.

The police called me when I reached home to inform me that the man's gash has been stitched up and that he would be discharged that same day. Praise the Lord for that.

Apparently, the man tripped while coming down the escalator. He fell and hit his head against the sharp edges of the steps. He and his wife were carrying a lot of things and they were strewed all over.

Anyway, like I said, an eventful day but not the kind I would hope for. Haha.

I shall end here and prepare for the meeting. Looking forward to the day ahead! :)

Picking Oneself Up After Falling

I am having some difficulty bending my right wrist as I kind of sprained it when I was learning to ride with my cycling shoes. I fell three times in all. All because I could not release the clips in time when I braked. The first one was okay. The second one I had bruise on my right knee. The third one I twisted my wrist a little and had a few small holes on my palm.

Well, I am getting the hang of it but I am definitely not ready to go on the road with that pair of shoes yet. I guess I will use my track-shoes for now.

I had wanted to cycle to East Coast Park but I changed my mind as I was held up by the servicing of my Polar watch and wear-link. It took longer than expected. A dear friend is cycling there now. Well, another day perhaps.

While waiting I decided to explore the different roads around Boon Tat Street. There are a lot of restaurants and eateries. I also found a couple of them serving Korean food. I shall one day try them.

Anyway, as I did not want to eat much... I basically had fruits at the hawker centre.

Thank God the technical staff at the service centre helped me expedite the process by allowing me to jump the queue on the waiting list. Very sweet of them. It is great to get the watch working again after they changed batteries on both the watch and wear-link. The charges were reasonable too.

Oh yah! I forgot to share about this security guard who was stationed at the Public Utilities Board Pump Station located at the end of this secluded road I was practicing my bike on. He saw me fell down a couple of times and he was there cheering me on to not give up. He said something in Mandarin which I think is this - "It's okay to fall down. Just pick yourself up and try again. You will be better after that."

I was encouraged by his words and it is true. It is okay to fall down because each time you pick yourself up, you are a much stronger individual. Pain is temporary but the lesson learnt is permanent. :)

Okay, I shall stop here. Praise God for protecting me against a more serious injury. :)

An Exciting Day Ahead!

I just read a very long email sent by my dean. Though I only start teaching again in January 2012 he has already been updating me on some plans which are in the pipeline. He also suggested that I attend some of the major staff meeting so that I will not be so lost when I officially commence work in three months' time. This is scary but exciting. Haha.

This Thursday I am supposed to follow him for a meeting and since I am free that day I decided to go along and see how I may contribute to the discussion. Not use to wearing office wear after so long. I hope I will not sub-consciously wear a pair of bermudas and polo-tee to the meeting. ;)

Anyway, I am going cycling this evening... weather permits. My grandma made me laugh yesterday when she commented that my road bike is so "chio" (pretty or beautiful in the Hokkien dialect) that I should just leave it at home and not ride it. Her reason - it would be quite sad to dirty the bike. Hee.

I think she loves the colour as she kept telling me of my late grandpa' bicycle which was always black. She also gave instructions to Sasha, my doggy, to not go near the bike and have her loose fur stuck all over. Sasha understands and now there is this invisible wall where she would just stand at a distant. Such an understanding Silky Terrier I have there.

I have a couple of errands to run today - need to buy lubricants for my bike and perhaps also a jersey. I need to send my Polar watch and the wearlink for servicing as it has been a while since I used them. I also need to settle some banking matters. Lastly grocery-shopping as my fridge is almost empty! :)

Oh yah, this morning I woke up at around 6am but after sending out a message I went back to sleep. I only woke up around 9am and this is a first for as long as I can remember. I guess the past few days have been very exhausting but it was a good rest I had. Praise God!!!

My left eye feels weird. There seems to be a growth. It is better and less painful now but if the discomfort persists, I think I may have to pay the doctor a visit. I have to say that I have not been drinking as much fluids as I should. I am going to do that from today onwards.

Alritey, time to start ticking the "To-Do" list!

Have a blessed day everyone... whatever is left of it! :)

God Provides In All Ways!

It has been a long and tiring day for me. I was with the Youth Ministry Mission Team the whole morning and early afternoon as they continued with their fundraising effort. It was more of collecting the money for the orders made last week than soliciting for more donations as we have met our target in just one Sunday. Praise the Lord!

When we closed the booth at around 1.30pm, I stayed back in church to tabulate and finalise the total order for the T-shirts. It was quite a headache as some members made some changes to their orders and some cancelled. Some still wanted to order as they liked the designs and we decided to accede to their requests.

The whole day I only had one proper meal as I was not too hungry in the morning and I had no time to go out of the church to buy lunch. I did have some keuh pie tees along the way but that was it.

Anyway, I am grateful to God for sustaining me through the day. I am now relieved that the orders for the tees have been made. One of the team members called the printers just now and they agreed to get everything done and delivered by Friday!!! Hallelujah!!! :)

I stayed a little longer to help two dear brothers-in-Christ sell some Cheeky Monkey products to a congregation using our church premise for an evening service. Cheeky Monkey is basically a social enterprise where they sell children's clothing in Cambodia and occasionally in Singapore.

After attending to the last customer and putting everything back into the car, it was off to dinner next. I was so hungry that I could eat a cow but in the end, I had chicken chop instead. Good enough to fill my empty tummy.

I wanted to come home and just rest but grandma told me her television broke down. It took me a while to try to fix it but I guess it is beyond hope. I shall go shop for one tomorrow as grandma cannot live a day without watching her favourite programmes. :)

Oh yah! I have finally bought my road bike. I have a few people to thank for in giving me pointers as to what to look for when choosing a bike and also the accessories - Albert Yeo, Steven Lim, Sean Goh and Timothy Yong. It was also fun shopping with a few dear friends at the various bike shops - Linda Woon, Valerie Tang and Timothy Yong.

I do not want to spiritualise the above-mentioned but I did ask God to give me a shop which can offer me a good deal. Thanks to Linda and Steven, I went to one last shop near Race Course Road and it was that one which sealed the deal as the boss, Ah Hui, offered me a good package.

I almost went to a shop in Siglap to get it as the assistant said his offer was the best. Well, I guess not and I am grateful I can save a couple of hundreds for the same bike I have been eyeing and not forgetting the accessories.

Ah Hui spent the whole day assembling the bike for me and when I went in the evening to collect it, he could have just handed the bike over to me and be on with it but he did not. He ensured that everything is in order before I left for home. That meant he had to close his shop later than usual and having his dinner late. Praise God for this wonderful gentleman. I will surely go back to him for future maintenance or purchases. :)

Anyway, it has been an eventful weekend. I also went to watch the All Blacks vs France. It was payback time and the All Blacks won the match by 37 - 17!!! The result kind of exorcised the defeat back in the World Cup 2007.

Alright! Time to stop and get some sleep.

Have a blessed week ahead and enjoy the adventures that will come our way! :)

Accepting Correction As Part of Life

My colleague called me yesterday and we spoke for a while. She heard that I was teaching a class on Tuesday and asked how it was to be back. I told her I am already looking forward to it though it will still be a couple of months more.

As usual, we also talked about the down-side of our job especially in the area of one's teachability. In this age of the internet where information are readily available at the click of a few buttons, the younger generation thinks that they know all and better than others, even those who are older than them. Because of that mentality, they think that they do not need the counsel of others.

The above-mentioned reminded me of a quote a dear mentor gave me when I was once a young rebellious youth - "Andy, if you are not ready to accept rebuke/correction from others, you are not ready for life." When I first heard that, I thought it was a load of crap.

It was only at those points of my life when I fell badly that I realised all the information I have accumulated, thinking that they are enough to help me journey through life, are insufficient. The counsel of others, who have been through similar situations, are the most effective in moulding my character to be who I am today, though I have to remind myself that I am still "Work in Progress" no matter how old I am.

My colleague and I concluded that we must never give up on anyone. As for me, I will also pray for these individuals. It can be discouraging especially when my good intention has been misunderstood but the last thing I should do is to throw in the towel.

If those, who have tried to help me in my growing up years, had given up on me then, I think my life would have been very much different now. That is why I am always very grateful to God for providing these precious individuals to be part of my life. They will always hold a special place in my life forever and I welcome more of such friends as I continue in my life's adventure. :)

I also told my colleague this... people who have the guts to correct me are usually those who care enough to do so and these are individuals whom I would consider my true friends. These are the ones who will stick with me through thick and thin.

These are just some thoughts I gathered after the phone conversation. Yesterday evening I went to check out some brands of road-bikes and have short-listed a few which are within my budget and size. I may enquire another brand later in the day and after that I should be able to make an informed decision. :)

Alritey! Time to key off and get some work done.

"Better is open rebuke than hidden love." Proverbs 27:5

Tough Decisions

This morning I brought grandma out for breakfast and then did some marketing with her. We had chee cheong fun and each a cup of coffee. I want to do this often with her because her memory is slowly fading away and there may come a time when she will just be an empty shell where she may not even know what is going on in her life.

I basically want her to know that she is still being loved no matter how bad her dementia may be. Sometimes it is frustrating when she starts to throw her tantrums but she is after all my grandma and I cannot because of these inconveniences cause me to give up on her.

To me she is the greatest grandma because she took care of me since I was a baby. Mum and dad had to work and she was the one who took pains to tend to my daily needs. Even at this present age, she still has my well-being in mind. Though I am able to support myself now as an adult, every morning before I leave the house, she will just hand me a $2 note and ask me to use it to buy something to eat. $2 may not mean much nowadays but to me it is a lot because it was given to me with love.

I also remembered when I was learning to walk, I had two bad falls and my forehead was cut deeply by the edge of the door frame and needed stitching. Then my parents' relationship with grandma was not good and they blamed her for pushing me down. She just took it in her stride and went on to babysit me.

Anyway, I always keep the $2 notes grandma gave me and at the end of each month I would put the money back in her favourite bag so that she can use it for herself. She will not know that it is me who put the money there because at this age and with the deteriorating condition of her dementia, she is unable to think so much.

I walked her home before I left for a dear sister-in-Christ's office. May God continue to bless grandma' life richly.

I just did my quiet time and spent some moments praying. I have made a decision on a matter which I have been considering about for the past few days. It was not an easy one but I still had to make that tough choice. Well, I will leave it as that and not share it here as it is private. All I can say is that it is for the sake of another party which makes me decide on the above-mentioned.

I guess that is all. I do not know how the day will be but I will look forward to the adventures ahead.

Repaying Their Love and Kindness

One of those days when I have to help grandma locate her money which she has hidden all over her room. It is amazing how she can do that but it is very frustrating having to comb through every corner to find a $50 note her and a $10 note there. In all I have found more than $500. She can even keep two $50 notes in her trousers' pocket and it is hidden in a pile of other trousers she has. She used to keep the money in her favourite bag but lately the pattern seems to have changed.

I cannot deny that I was a little worked up because when she hides the cash and could not find them, she will then accuse me of not giving her her monthly allowance. Every time when I want to talk to her, I pray and ask God to give me the sensitivity of words used as it is really not something she is doing on purpose but more so her forgetfulness. I always ask God to help me not give up on her though it can be tiring at times. I am also trying to see what new method I can use to help her remember where she keeps her money.

Another person I am worried about is dad. Lately I noticed that his hands are trembling quite a bit. I suspect he is suffering from Parkinson's Disease. I want to send him for check-up but he always refuses to. I really do not know what to do with him. I will continue to persuade him. All I can do now is to pray that he will listen to my advice and at least see what the doctor says after the medical examination.

Sigh. Sometimes I wish God can take all these problems away from my loved ones but I guess all these are part and parcel of growing old. I guess my prayer should be more of asking Him to give me the patience, perseverance and understanding as I try my best to take care of the three old folks who took pains last time to care for me when I was young. I guess it is my turn to do so and repay their love and kindness.

Well, I am quite exhausted physically, emotionally and mentally today. I shall do some readings and perhaps take out my guitar to worship God and just give thanks in all circumstances. :)

For those reading my blog, please keep my family and I in prayer. Thank you.

Oh yah, I visited the elderly lady who collects cardboard while on my way home. I gave her a packet of tea. I am glad that she has a good collection today. I just pray that whoever buys from her the cardboard will not cheat her in any way.

I guess that is all.

Have a restful evening, everyone.

Back Teaching... Just For A Day

I just reached home after covering a class for a colleague. It has been a while since I taught but I was looking forward to it. Now that I have done it, I have to admit that I miss teaching and I am already looking forward to starting work again on 2 January 2012. It is always a joy to interact with students and teaching kind of takes away the mundane of work as you get to talk to people all the time. Well, as much as I am eager to go back, I am also enjoying these last few months of break.

Some of my students were surprised to see me. They thought that I am back for good. I teased them that I am not ready to see them as yet especially on a daily basis. Haha. That's why I needed a long break after having taught for so many years, I added. :)

As I needed to rush home, I did not have time to meet some of them for lunch. Well, there will be many opportunities when I start work proper next year.

I reached campus early. I took the time to read God's Word and do some reflections. I will pen my thoughts down on my reflections when I am ready to. I have a few major decisions to consider and wonder whether what is the right thing to do. :)

It Has Always Been About Lives

I just finished talking to a dear brother-in-Christ who called me to ask how I have been and also to pray for me. I am deeply encouraged by his thoughtfulness and initiative. I shared with him how things have been for me this week and also about the initial concern I have for the fundraising effort by the Youth Ministry Mission Team today.

I am grateful to God for allowing the above conversation to happen as I was quite discouraged the whole afternoon about whether it is worth the effort to give my time for others and in turn be misunderstood by one or two of them. All it takes is this minority because I sometimes asked myself where have I gone wrong when all these while I have meant well. Perhaps the method of approach used was wrong and if it is, I apologise and am willing to learn from it.

When I came home and while doing my laundry, I decided to speak to a friend whom I have known for years from a counselling course we attended together. I was just sharing with him about the above struggle. He said he gets that all the time but what matters is the person you are caring for. Ministry has always been about lives and he said that if my focus remains as that, then it is clear that setbacks faced along the way are secondary. They should not be totally ignored, of course, but to be used as reflections and evaluations as to how else we can be more effective in touching lives.

I will approach this struggle with prayer first and from there I will know what else to do.

Anyway, praise God for guiding the youths through their fundraising activity in church this morning. We have hit the target we need to raise and God is good to allow this to happen within a day. The drive was to be done over three weeks but looks like there is no need for that anymore. Hallelujah!

Well, it has been a bittersweet weekend.

Have a blessed week, everyone.

Unique Individuals We Are

Praise God for today. I learnt a valuable lesson on friendship and it was a humbling experience. I guess I need to remind myself that I should not generalise friendship/relationship but to adapt accordingly with different friends because everyone is created uniquely. I just hope my ignorance in this area has not affected any of them but every mistake I make is a moulding experience. I just hope through this I can be a better friend to another. All I ask is for some grace and opportunities for me to learn and grow.

As much as I am asking for grace and opportunity from my friends, it is also my prayer that I will do likewise towards them. The past few months or so, I felt betrayed to a certain extent by a few individuals especially when I have put in so much time and effort in my relationship with them. I thought there was already an understanding between them and me but I guess not. It is painful sometimes but this is where we learn... of course not in the most ideal situation but nevertheless there were precious lessons to be brought home.

This is where I am reminded yet again that every day in life is about learning... I am not saying this because I have been a teacher all these while. :) Learning will only stop when I cease to exist anymore.

Anyway, I went to test-ride a road-bike with a dear friend. I like the feel of the bike but the only thing is the seat which I guess I will get use to eventually or to have it change to fit my butt better. Haha. Riding it over a short distance already gave me the kick and I guess this confirms this deep desire to want to go further with this sport/activity.

I headed for Parkway Parade on my own after that to check out some DVD players. Initially I wanted to grab a bite there but in the end I decided not to as I was not too hungry. After making some purchases, I took a bus to Old Airport Road Hawker Centre to buy a container of beancurd for grandma. I know she always likes the beancurd from there and since I was near, I thought I just swing by to get it.

I just finished hanging the laundry and I guess I will sleep soon.

Good night, all and have a restful and blessed weekend ahead. :)

It Has Always Been About Resting

After having dinner (Thai food at City Plaza) and ice-cream (Ice Cream Chef along East Coast Road) with two dear siblings-in-Christ last night, I headed home feeling very tired. The night before I did not have the chance to sleep much as I was trying to solve the mystery of the missing address book in my iPhone 4.

This morning mum found it strange that I slept so early and asked whether I was okay. Haha. I teased her that I was very drunk and she got a little concerned. When I saw the worried expression on her face, I laughed and told her I was just tired. She then ordered Sasha, my Silky Terrier, to bite me. :)

Anyway, I woke up with the strong urge to check out some bicycles today and I will do so later with a friend. I am actually excited that I will be riding on a regular basis once I have acquired one.

Well, back to the tale of the missing address book, I was initially quite worried that I have lost more than 600 over contacts. Thank God my Mac Office Outlook still has a back-up of all the information. As I was afraid I may lose that set as well, I quickly did another back-up.

I got a help from a dear sister-in-Christ. All these while, I have been sync-ing the information on my Outlook but now I will have to bypass that and use the Address Book and iCal applications in my MacBook Pro.

Praise the Lord they are back in order. Initially I felt kind of handicap without my contacts and schedules.

Lately I have come across many friends who are feeling tired because of work and all. I am burdened for them though many would conclude this is part and parcel of life. As much as it is, I have always reminded myself and others that there is more to life than the mundane things we do daily.

I remembered this quote, "When the going gets tough, the tough gets going." Yes, it is true that the tough needs to get going during trying period but tough as we may be, we must admit that we are human too. Hence I decide to rephrase this quote - "When the going gets tough, it is not always the tough gets going but resting." Sometimes it is wiser to rest sufficiently so that we can get going again. In the long run, it is more sustainable and less frustrating.

An Enjoyable Cook-Out!

Yesterday has been a long but enjoyable day. I cooked for my cell-group as part of an advance birthday celebration for my sister.

I basically prepared cheeses from The Netherlands and crackers as starters. The soup of the day was clam chowder. It was followed by the main course of baked crab and butter rice and salad. We ended with majority having a glass of Nespresso coffee and all having a piece of Red Velvet cake baked by a dear brother-in-Christ.

I was too tired and full to eat so I basically served my cell group members. Cooking is like that - throughout the day as you prepare, you will just munch as you go along and by the time the dishes are to be served, you are just too full and tired to eat. But like I said - I enjoyed every second of it. :)

Well, I hope everyone enjoyed themselves. Praise the Lord for pulling me through. :)

Yesterday when I was just reflecting on certain areas of my life as I was preparing for the cook-out, I was reminded that those things in my life which do not come easy are cherished more. As I was talking to God about it, I confessed to Him that I have taken many things for granted and I prayed that He will teach me to count my blessings and to use them to bless others.

It is quite random that while cooking I had such thoughts but I will take it as a reminder.

The past few days I have been burdened with something which I felt I could have done better and more sensitively. I do not know whether it is too late to learn from this but I pray God will help me in this. It is vague but I shall leave it as that. A lesson learnt that I need to pace myself lest I become a stumbling block.

Anyway, I am still considering which road-bike to buy and also battling whether to get a new one or a second-hand model. I shall see how as I continue to consult those who have been in this sport for a while and also the various relevant websites.

I shall end. Good night, all.

Hard Knock, Literally!

It has been a packed day. I had to conduct a workshop in the morning for a group of students who are interested in going to Cambodia to do some community work. It was more of a Q&A session with them but I started off by sharing how I got involved in the work of missions in Cambodia 10 years ago and what kept me on till now.

I basically emphasized on the importance of having a heart for the people. If you do not have that, it will just be going through the motion but if you do, then it is all about passion! The people whom you are reaching out to can tell. That is why when I first went to Cambodia, a young Khmer boy asked me whether I would be back again because he can tell who are the ones who are interested in his life and his people and who are not.

I hope this will stir in the hearts of the students that community work is not going to be a one-off involvement. It should be a continuous effort. It is emotionally draining. No doubt about that. But the result is always an encouraging one. So long as one life is touched, that is good enough!

After that, it was off to grocery-shopping. Preparing a four-course meal is perfect but also a lot of work but I am already looking forward to it. I will not share in details here until after the gathering is over. :)

I was at NEX buying all the ingredients but before I did that, I had to answer nature's call. While walking to the toilet, an emergency out-swinging door opened suddenly and slammed right smack on my forehead. There was a small gash and blood started to trickle down but I figured it was nothing serious to warrant a visit to the doctor. There is a slight swell now.

Looking back, seriously how coincident can it be that I had to be where I was and the door had to open at that point of time. Anyway, it was a freak accident. Just about 30 minutes ago, I had my bath after coming back from a night meeting... I totally forgot about the bruise on my forehead and when I towelled dry my head area, it rubbed against the wound and it bled again. Haha.

I guess I will have to be more careful tomorrow.

Well, I think in our journey, we need to get knocked once in a while to wake up our senses. Well, though mine was a literal one but it sure reminded me of the need to not take things for granted and be complacent about life.

I need to go chop some garlic now and soak them in olive oil for the salad that I am preparing.

Good night, everyone. Have a restful night and a great day tomorrow! :)

One Investment Worth Considering

I am reminded today that there is no such thing as a loss when investing one's time in someone's life. If we can make a difference, why not? There is basically this satisfaction in seeing a smile on someone's face when you spend the time with that person.

Of course, there will be times when pain is involved as well... especially when that someone you are reaching out hurts you in return. The question is - why focus on the pain when you should focus on the process? Not all the time, there will be immediate effect in ministering to an individual. Some may take a while longer but the result is usually the same - a life being touched.

The above-mentioned is a follow-up on what I blogged yesterday. I was reflecting today on whether it was wrong for me to write those thoughts but I felt it was okay since it is something that I am struggling with now.

I was also reminded that when I was growing up, a few very caring siblings-in-Christ and a teacher did not give up on me. Who and what I am now is a result of their persistence in reaching out to a wayward child. If they had given up, I will probably not be a lecturer where now I am returning their kindness and love by investing my time in the lives of others - my students.

Another powerful tool which I have been using when ministering to lives is prayer. It reminds me that I am a medium for God to use me in touching another life. Initially I took the full load of caring for someone on my shoulders and there were many occasions when I felt discouraged when there were no results. There were also moments when I just wanted to throw in the towel and simply give up! But now, the load is no more on mine but Jesus'. It is definitely much easier in reaching out to others because now I know I have God by my side to help me.

Prayer also helps me to persevere and when there is no progress still, I will just pray and hope that in God's time, He will make all things beautiful.

Yesterday a parent who is worried for her child came to speak to me just outside the sanctuary of my church. She shared about her concerns especially when her child is now looking for an identity in this world. It is heartening to know that this mother loves her child so much that she is willing to share it with someone outside of the family just so that together we can reach out and touch the life of that young person.

I encouraged her to keep on praying while concurrently spending time with her child. I also assured her that some of the mentors in the Youth Ministry are also making an effort. As I was praying about this in the morning, I had peace in my heart that one day, that young life will be transformed and he, in return, will someday touch someone else when he becomes an adult and mentor to another.

I also remembered a dear friend sharing with me that she wants to help at a hospice but she feels she is not ready for it. I understand how she feels because it can be emotionally draining. I am praying for her daily that God will use her good intention eventually to touch a terminally-ill patient. Sometimes it is not about words of comfort but one's presence by their side which will make the dying leave this world peacefully.

If there is one investment worth considering, this is it! Investment of lives - good returns guaranteed!

What Am I To You?

As much as I should pray against negative thoughts that come by once in a while, I also reflect on them and consider whether are they really negative or a fact. I should not just be denouncing them without giving due consideration.

Today a thought was in my mind constantly. It is about the feeling of being made use of. I know I should not suspect anyone having that motive but over time, you can tell whether it is or not. It is a sad feeling.

It is like when you are of use to that person, you mean anything and everything to him or her but when that value is no more, you are non-existent. Some may tell me, as a Christian, I should not think of a particular person that way... yes, I am trying not to but has that person ever spared a thought for me... the lousy feeling of being exploited?

I think it is a two-way thing. On my part, I should not entertain the thought and be bitter about it but the other party must also consider the way I feel.

Where am I going in sharing this? Well, I am going to approach the above-mentioned with love and I will continue to do that no matter how tough it may be. Only by showing that love, will it cover over a multitude of sins... that means nothing will affect me and I will continue to give as much as I can to my loved ones and friends.

I cannot just because I have a suspicion of someone who may have that motive to stop me from being a friend to him or her. Eventually God will convict the heart of the person and He will transform that life. My role is to continue to do what is right.

Before my retreat, I confess I harboured a lot of bitterness and grudge but not anymore. No point. It is not worth it. It is also not pleasing in the eyes of God and edifying to the people around me.

I cannot remember whether I have blogged about this but since this thought has been in my mind lately, I felt the need to share it. It is for me to evaluate whether I, myself, have made use of someone else. I confess I did and I pray God will change me in this area of my life.

Well, all these can affect relationships between both parties but that effect, I pray, should not cause the two parties to drift apart but instead be strengthened as they learn from their mistakes and follies.

This has been my prayer.

May God help us all and may we always cherish one another!

"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins." 1 Peter 4:8

The Elderly Lady Who Eats Scraps

Towards the late morning, I decided to go to Toa Payoh Lorong One to have my brunch. Actually it was not the food that lured me there but more so an elderly lady whom I bumped into a few months ago when I was there lunching at the hawker centre with some of the church staff.

I found her and like the last time I saw her, she was eating off the scraps left behind by a customer. This time she was finishing the leftovers of a plate of fried carrot cake. Not much left but she was eating them. Sigh.

I decided to get a plate of freshly fried ones for her. My observation about this lady is that she probably has a mental disability. No matter what she is suffering from, she is still a human and I was just wondering what can we do to help people like her.

Anyway, I placed the plate on the table. She stared at me blankly and started eating it. I also got her a cup of tea. As I walked away, I prayed for her and trust that God will provide for her daily needs through others who have compassion for her.

Usually after seeing a situation like this, I just do not have the heart to eat something extravagant. This basically reminded me to be contented with whatever food I get to eat daily because not everyone can enjoy that sort of luxury.

It also reminded me of a church member, who has passed on, who used to set aside an empty chair at the dining table in his home just so that when he comes home from work and sees a needy person, he would invite him or her to dine with the family. How many of us are willing to do the same?

I came home after that. I basically did some more housework. When I was done with that, I played with Sasha. She is exceptionally playful today. When I was reading the newspapers in the living room, she would sit on the papers. When I shoo-ed her away, she would gallop like a horse - running as far and as fast as she could. I managed to catch her at one point and just tickled her.

I just did some more research on road-bikes and was talking to a dear brother-in-Christ about it on FaceBook. I have another brother-in-Christ who is considering selling his bike but I need to know more about the specifications and price before I decide. Next week I may go check some out at the shops and then make a decision from there.

A fruitful Saturday so far. I do not know what I am to do next but I shall take it easy. :)

Before I go, should any of you decide to eat at Toa Payoh Lorong One hawker centre (the one which sells the famous handmade mini pows) and if you do see the elderly lady, buy her something to eat. Maybe have the food packed so that she can bring it with her wherever she goes.

It's A Privilege To Love

I just finished doing housework. Eversince coming back from Brewertz after watching the All Blacks beat Tonga 41 -10, I have swept the floor, washed all the fans, ironed all the clothes and cleaned the toilets. Praise God for pulling me through all these.

After I washed up, grandma asked me to go into her room and we chatted for a while. She asked me a strange question as in whether she has been a burden to the family and whether her forgetfulness has inconvenient my parents and I.

I assured her that she has not been. I also told her that everyone loves her no matter how difficult things can be at times. I also told her that God loves her. She then made an interesting remark which showed me that all these months of affirming her rather than putting her down has worked amazingly.

She said she is grateful that she still has a family whom she can depend on. I smiled when she said that. I added another point for her to note - that above all else, she should be grateful to God for seeing her through each day. She agreed as she told me she has been praying every morning, afternoon, evening and night.

I am glad to hear all that! :)

Through this brief conversation, all I can say is this - it is always a privilege to love. It can never go wrong.

I could have scolded my grandma whenever her nonsense surfaces but it would not help her in any way. Instead she would feel lousy. I could have resented my parents whenever they quarrel but that would not solve the issue they are squabbling with. If I had shown my frustration, I would have been embroiled into that very situation I am trying to resolve. I could have ignored the elderly lady I met in the streets of The Haag in The Netherlands but there would be this niggling feeling that perhaps for that day, she might not have food or water to drink. Likewise for the cardboard aunty I met near my estate, if I have left her alone, she probably may not have a new umbrella to shelter her from the rain or the sun. I could have not bothered about the Cambodian boy who asked me whether I would come back the next year but in my heart I know he would have been disappointed if he had not seen me again.

The above list can go on and on and on. I am also not sharing all these to boast about what I have done. All I can testify is that the love shown to me by God and now the love I show to others has made a difference and impact.

It is definitely much better than bearing a grudge or a hatred or a resentment or a selfish thought. All these stifle us whereas the ability to love frees us to do more! :)

I am also glad that in the course of my life's journey, I have had the privilege to love some women whom I had considered being my life-partner. Though I have entered into one serious relationship only and though it did not work out in the end due to circumstances involving my kidney injury a few years ago, it was a joy to have shared my love with that person.

Well, I do not know whether I would ever have the honour to love another lady but having loved before has brought a lot of joy in my life. Along the way should there be another opportunity, then all praise to God for that. :)

I hope I make sense in what I have written so far. :)

I shall rest now and look forward to the weekend ahead.

A Day Of Fact-Finding

It has been a long day but thanks be to God for seeing me through it.

I was zombified the whole morning as I could not sleep properly due to my neck again. It is difficult to sleep on my sides as my neck felt strained. As much as I could, I slept flat on my back and when I had to turn, I would do it slowly. I think I may have aggravated it when I did photography for the Charity Bike 'n' Blade but it was worth it because I enjoyed the event a lot.

I was just talking to a dear brother about it in the afternoon. I am glad there may be a possibility that the event may continue next year but it is not cast in stone yet. If it is, I told him I am willing to help in a bigger capacity. By the way, he is the chairperson of the charity drive.

I may also participate as a cyclist but that depends on how much training I will be putting in from now till then. Having spoken to a few bike enthusiasts, I am quite fixed on taking up this sport again. I guess before I do that, I should consult the doctor about my neck. I do not think it is going to be a big issue. :)

Another friend is also interested so both of us will be checking out some bikes next week.

I also spent a considerable part of the day thinking about something. I spoke to a dear sister and a dear brother about it so as to obtain their opinions. I know what are the steps to take in dealing with this. I just pray God will give me the wisdom and obedience to do what is pleasing in His sight and edifying to the people around me.

In the evening I had a dinner-meeting with two advisers of the Youth Ministry Mission Team. We needed to discuss and decide on some areas of the trip and after much deliberation, we managed to agree on what we are to do next. It is going to be exciting and I am already looking forward to the trip in December! :)

By the time we ended, I was dead tired. I wanted to do some grocery-shopping at NTUC but decided against it. I figured I can do it tomorrow.

I had to do my laundry first. In between I was messaging here and there.

Well, I guess that is all for today! Praise the Lord! :)

Praise God For A New Friend

I came back not too long ago from a dinner appointment with a dear friend whom I got to know at the Charity Bike 'n' Blade event over the weekend. It was an impromptu meeting as it was only decided in the evening.

I was planning as to what to eat for dinner and I had cravings for the beef noodles in Marine Parade and the wanton noodles in East Coast Park. While my friend and I were corresponding over sms, she decided to check out some road-bikes along East Coast Road and I asked to go along with her as I was interested as well.

She picked me up at Bedok MRT Station and we had to rush to the shop as it was closing in about 15 minutes' time. We had a near-miss accident at a cross junction but thank God my friend managed to stop in time. I hope she was not too startled by the incident. :(

We could not try out the bicycles as the shop was about to close and my friend's car was parked temporarily along the road. She was also in her office-wear. I guess we will probably check it out again soon.

Anyway, we were both interested in cycling after last week's event. Mine was more a rekindling of interest as I used to cycle quite a bit when I was younger. Well, I am just considering whether this would be a long-term activity I would engage myself in. I shall see how. :)

We had dinner at Waraku Restaurant around Katong area and it was a great time of catching up with one another. Before we departed, we went to the NTUC supermarket in Marine Parade to buy a bottle of milk and a loaf of bread.

Praise God for a wonderful day! A long day awaits me tomorrow but looking forward to it already. :)

Be Responsible Please!

--- Bao Bao when he was first rescued ---

--- Bao Bao six months later ---

This is Bao Bao, a 7-year Schnauzer. He was rescued by the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals ("SPCA").

For as long as this dog existed, he has been placed outside the shop of a florist in the west. The leash to hold the dog was long enough only for him to stand and sit. His coat was matted and all its teeth were rotten. The skin was also infected.

On the day of the rescue, he was drenched by the rain and was almost drowned by a pool of rainwater. He was half-dead when found.

SPCA wanted to put the poor doggy to sleep but a kind lady decided to take him in. He recovered miraculously but has to have all its teeth removed due to the decay and a small section of one of the ears had to be removed due to an infection.

Though Bao Bao is a dog, he does not bark or could hardly know how to walk as his life-time here on earth was only about standing and sitting down.

The doggy is now under the care of a dear sister-in-Christ's mum who decided to take over the role as caregiver from the kind lady who initially took it in. This was done through Action for Singapore Dogs ("ASD").

From what I have been told, Bao Bao is always in a blur state, non-responsive and my heart just went out to him as I heard of his plight. Sigh.

This is to all those out there who are considering buying a pet - be it a fish or a hamster or a chinchilla or a rabbit or a dog or a bird. To you it may just be another animal but it has life so please treat it as you would a human. If you are not ready to take care of it and treat it as a part of your family, then I say do not even consider buying it!

I decided to blog about this as I want to send out a message stating that all things created by God is to be treated with much respect. We are to be good stewards, even to animals!

Faith + Prayer = Miracles!

I am now waiting for the laundry to be done. While waiting, I thought I blog.

It has been a fruitful day. This morning I went for a run at the park... in fact it was more a jog as I did not want to aggravate my knees. I also did a couple of sit-ups... my abdomen and back are feeling a little sore now. My neck too. I was telling a dear friend that I may not be able to sleep well tonight as it is a little sore today.

Anyway, before I headed home I went to find the elderly lady whom I got to know the other day. I managed to find her pretty easily. She was collecting some boxes. I went over to say hi and she smiled and called me "Ah Di." I felt so young suddenly! Hee. :)

I asked her whether she would like to join me for breakfast and she quickly declined. I did not want to insist so as not to make her feel uneasy in any way. I went over to the coffee shop to buy some toast and a packet of tea for her. She kept thanking me and I told her to think nothing of it. I bade her farewell and went back home.

Oh yah! The new pair of Asics shoes are so comfortable to run in. I hope this will motivate me to exercise more. I am going easy though. :)

Before I showered I took out the new printer from the box and installed them. It took me a while to install the software as it was not compatible with the Mac OS X Lion. I had to call Epson Help-Line but the staff who spoke to me was not able to provide me the new ones as they are not released yet.

Anyway, I went around it and still managed to get the wireless printing configured. Now I am able to print without a cable and the quality of the photos was excellent!!! One of the best so far!

I spent the morning doing my devotion and also evaluating how my life has been since coming back from the retreat in The Netherlands. It will be a month tomorrow.

I want to praise God that I am able to release all my burdens to Him and let Him take over from where I left off. I cannot deny that I still think about some of the issues and people I am struggling with but since coming back, I have been praying and surrendering them to God. I have done all I can to reach out and I will still do so once in a while. Now I can only hope in Him and wait for that day to come when my prayers are answered. I must testify that it is prayer that has kept me going each day and making my life more optimistic. All I know is that my God will not fail me.

I was sharing with my dear friend whom I went to IKEA with that my kidneys were healed because so many people prayed for me. It may sound illogical but that is what faith is!

When faith is coupled with prayer, it becomes an explosive combination where no one can actually explain its sheer power! No science or medical explanation can dispute that fact! That is why there is such a word called "MIRACLE."

Anyway, I will write more on my evaluation in my future blogs.

Going to IKEA at 9.45pm was a first for me. My friend could only make it around that time because earlier in the evening she has to attend her yoga session and then have dinner with a friend. It was a good time to shop though as it was not crowded. The only thing is that out of the 4 items in my list, I could only get two as the other two were sold out.

Though the shopping time was short, I had a great time catching up with my dear friend.

Okie dokie, time to hang my laundry.

Mission Team's Answered Prayer

I just had a talk with grandma in her room. Earlier she came to tell me that my parents and I want to kick her out of the house. I asked her when she heard about this and she said in the morning.

I probed further as to which part of the morning and she said around 9am. It was here that I concluded she was thinking negatively again as my parents were out of the house at around 7.30am and I was the only one home.

Grandma is acting strange today as she called me several times within an hour to ask me, first of all, to eat out as she would not be cooking. Then she called again to instruct me to call my parents to eat out too. A couple of minutes after, she rang again to say that she would be frying rice. In the last call she made, she asked whether the family would be eating in or out.

Anyway, I did not reprimand grandma for the above-mentioned. I prayed with her and also encouraged her to continue to think of something pleasant than always let negative thoughts enter her mind.

I left her to be on her own. I went on to do some stuff for the mission trip. Praise God for His provision. About two weeks ago, I spoke to one of the missionaries in Cambodia as to whether the team can stay in his hostel. He informed me that during that period when the team will be in Cambodia, the occupancy is full.

He assured me though that he will find an alternative accommodation for us. Then a call came in this morning to inform me that the above hostel has expanded their business as they have just bought another housing unit which is just a few doors away. Truly this is an answered prayer!

I informed the team about the good news and I am sure they will be all excited to meet up with my missionary-friend and his staff in the hostel. :)

Well, I shall end here as my eyes are already closing. I have been feeling sleepy throughout the day as I was awoken abruptly by my doggy. She jumped onto the bed at around 6.30am and started licking my face. She then climbed onto my tummy and laid there. Sigh. Since when have I become her bed? Maybe my tummy is too fleshy and comfy. Haha.

Anyway, good night, all! :)

Charity Bike 'n' Blade

I was contemplating whether to do housework after coming back from a two-day expedition with about 100 cyclists from Singapore to Kota Tinggi and back to Singapore again. In the end, I decided to do so. It is a sooner or later matter so I might as well just finish them. This will then free me to do other stuff for the new week ahead.

I am very tired and burnt but it was all worth it as the whole cause of this event has raised more than half a million dollars for a hospital. I have taken about 800 photos but after throwing away all those which I do not like, I am left with about 500.

This is my first time doing a photography on such an event and I was excited! Though I had to wake up at 3.30am on the first day just so that I can be at West Coast Park by 5.00am, I was not complaining as I know God was going to do something great!

Something great He truly did - the whole event went smoothly and all cyclists and volunteers were safe when it came to a close at 3.00 this afternoon. By then I was already quite zombified as I had to wake up at 4.00am so that we could have breakfast at 5.30am before the second round of the expedition commenced at 7.00am.

Other than photography, I was also helping the other volunteers in serving drinks to the cyclists at different water-points as it was a gruelling 350km distant for them. We also gave out bananas to them for extra energy. Along the way, I ate a couple of them.

The organisers and volunteers were a fun lot of people. Though I only knew them yesterday, we were able to connect. I also got to know the other three photographers - Wei Yu, Wai Chung and Ashton. We talked about how we started to like photography and also what we do as a living. It was great to have known them. We even exchanged contacts to continue to keep in touch with one another.

I also got to know a new friend, Linda, who is a colleague of a dear brother-in-Christ in church. We talked quite a bit on missions and how we want to return a portion of what we have been blest with to others. I pray God will use this dear friend mightily as not many people hold that kind of desire in blessing others with what they have! Praise the Lord for her!

Oh yah!!! I had the bestest bak kut teh on our way to Kota Tinggi. The organisers were raving about it and it kind of raised my expectation. In the evening, I went over to one of the organisers' rooms to savour it and it was GOOD!!! On our way to the hotel, during the expedition, we bought three thermal pots worth of this yummilicious dish! Nothing was left at the end of it all!

It was sad when the event came to a close as I really enjoyed the time spent taking photos of the cyclists before, during and after their rides and also knowing the volunteers. I regretted I could not make it last year but I am thankful to God that I am able to this year, though I was roped in late to cover one of the photographers who could not make it.

After the certificates of participation and service were handed out to the cyclists and volunteers respectively, we departed our separate ways.

I was with Linda and another new friend I made, Wai. We decided to drive to Tebrau City in Johor Bahru to buy some stuff from Jusco. I bought mooncakes for grandma. After dropping Wai just before the Johor Immigration check-point, Linda and I headed back to Singapore. We continued our conversation from where we left off last night and it was a fruitful journey back.

Well, I am TIRED! I shall stop here.

Before I key off, I also had a great time of fellowship with my room-mate, Kenga, who is also from my church. We talked about the church and how we should play a part in serving God and His people and also the need to keep on praying for the pastors, leaders and members that we will all know what is the purpose of us being a church. I am glad to know of this brother who is also burdened for the church and we reminded each other to not cease interceding for her especially since God has helped us grow in the number of years we have been worshipping in this congregation.

Interestingly, both of us had considered leaving the church before but we decided to stay on to see how we can contribute in helping everyone grow in the Lord and to be a light in the community God has placed us in.

That is all, I guess.

Have a blessed week, everyone and good night! :)