One At A Time

I had an interesting encounter with a 16-year old boy when I was walking along the pedestrian tunnel from Shaw Brothers Building at Scotts Road to the Orchard MRT station yesterday. This boy was peddling illegal DVD-movies to the passers-by. Initially I walked past him without batting an eye-lid but as I walked on, I felt the need to reach out to him.

I turned back and approached him. As I was stern with him, I told him to pack his things up and walk with me to the MacDonalds Cafe for a drink. He obediently listened to what I instructed him.

I asked him why he needed to do such illegal stuff and he gave the reason that he needed more pocket money. Then I asked him why he did not want to earn them the legal way and he said no one would want to employ him. I told him if I could find him a job, would he be interested? He said it is impossible.

Since we were in MacDonalds itself, I called for the manager and enquired about the employment opportunities for students and whether there were any vacancies. I was told there were and immediately I told the boy to submit his name and contact number. I explained to the manager what I was trying to do and she told me she would take it from there. I also gave her my contact number so that should this boy resigned from his work that I be informed about it. She agreed.

After all the paper-work was done, I asked the boy to break all the DVDs that he was holding on. He did that and threw them into the dustbin. Well, before we departed I told him to do two things - make sure he does not neglect his studies while trying to earn more money and to not get himself into illegal matters anymore. I could only advise him these but the rest is up to him whether he wants to listen or not. I prayed for him as I walked to Kinokuniya Bookstore.

I felt I needed to do the above-mentioned because of his tender age when he should be concentrating on enjoying his youth and not let illegal activities ruin his future. I do not know how others would do if they were in my shoes but at that point, I saw the need to help him see that his actions were wrong and that I should go a step further to also show him that nothing is impossible so long as one tries.

Well, I know I cannot help every one in this world but if I can just make a difference in one or two lives a day, that is enough, I guess.

Anyway, while I was at the bookstore, two dear brothers called me to join them for dinner and I decided to fellowship with them over meal. We also went to Minds Cafe in Selegie Road to play some board games with a couple of other siblings-in-Christ. Praise the Lord for the time we had.

I guess I shall stop here. A very interesting day I had the whole of yesterday. Thanks be to Him once again.

"Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Does he not leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, 'Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.' I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent." Luke 15:4-7

A Day Of Plentiful Changes

I just finished making a presentation - part of a curriculum planning that I am involved in for the new semester which is coming up next month. Anyway, I thought I had the day planned out but everything changed along the way.

I was only told about this meeting last night and the secretary apologised when she realised I was supposed to be involved in the discussion. As I have been on sabbatical, it slipped her mind that I will be coming back mid-September.

Anyway, I had to change an afternoon appointment so that I can fit in this meeting. Though it was an inconvenience but I thank God that I had all the details prepared last week. I had actually wanted to do the preparations this week but decided that I might as well get them over and done with last Thursday.

After the presentation, I was supposed to meet a colleague for tea but it was cancelled because she has another meeting at 4pm later.

Another appointment to have dinner with a friend was also cancelled just about an hour ago because the restaurant I had wanted to bring her to is closed for renovation. Anyway, she has a couple of things to do as well - I thought it is important for her to finish them.

Well, suddenly I have nothing to do. I guess I shall just pop by Kinokuniya and Borders to check out some books and perhaps walk around town area.

What I have related above has taught me something - that man can plan all he wants but at the end of the day, it may not always fall in place. I guess it is the same as man trying to plan everything he can for his life here on earth but who knows tomorrow what will happen to his plans or to him, for that matter.

During the meeting earlier, a few uncalled comments were made about my presentation by a certain individual when what he had mentioned could have been read and understood in an email I sent out last week after I was done with my planning. He kept denying that he did not receive the attachment when others have already read my articles. My boss also showed him that his email address was on the list. I was on the verge of shooting him down but I prayed within me and asked the Lord to help me help this colleague of mine in understanding my concept. Well, when the meeting was over, the both of us stayed in the conference room and I passed him a set of my write-up. I told him I would answer any queries as he read on. Well, none was asked and we departed after 15 minutes.

What discouraged me was the way he made it sound as if I did not do my work when I had actually done it way before I knew this meeting was scheduled for today. I learnt something from this incident - do not put people down unneccesarily even when you think you have the right to do so. It could have been resolved if he had enquired right at the start of my presentation whether the articles have been circulated in advance and perhaps request for a set if he did not have them.

Anyway, so much for that. This morning when I was still in bed, I heard like someone had fallen in the kitchen area. I quickly got up and true enough, mum was seated on the toilet floor and the aluminium door was detached from the hinges (I thank God that the door did not fall on her) - I guess it happened when mum was trying to grab on to something while she was slipping. She was trying to wash the pooh-tray for my doggy. When I saw all that had happened, I was angry within me as mum should have known better to leave all these to the rest of us to handle. But as I was about to make certain remarks, I felt a nudge to just keep quiet. What's the point when mum had already fallen and that little accident could have already affected her physically and mentally. Why make matters even worse by adding more comments? I am glad she is okay.

Well, a day of surprises for me. I guess I shall leave my office now. Thanks be to God for making this day an 'interesting' one.

To man belong the plans of the heart, but from the LORD comes the reply of the tongue. Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed. In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps." Proverbs 16:1, 3 & 9

"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." Proverbs 15:1

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near." Philippians 4:4-5

Thank God For Fathers!

This morning I was at the Youth Ministry and we were discussing about fathers. I have written so many blogs that I cannot remember whether I have typed something on this topic. Anyway, I shall share my thoughts tonight.

I grew up in a family where it was dad who took care of my daily needs right from when I was a babe. Mum was quite a workaholic with her sports equipment business to the point where dad took over the role of a mother.

When I was hungry in the middle of the night, it was dad who took care of me. When I was doing my lower primary education, it was dad who walked me to school. During the weekends, it was dad who brought me out to watch movies without fail. When I was being punished by mum who was a disciplinarian in the family, it was dad who stood up for me and sometimes shielded me from the canes and slaps from mum. It is quite interesting that there is a role-reversal between my parents. When I wanted something like toys or certain gadgets, he would get them for me most of the trime. When I was sick, it was dad who sacrificed his sleep to take care of me, ensuring that my temperature was kept in check and that my medication was taken punctually. I remember clearly how sometimes I saw his red eyes when taking care of me during the period of my kidney ailment. I guess it was painful for him to see his own son down with a medical problem.

I was quite close with dad when I was younger but as I grew older and as I mixed with bad companies during my upper primary education, we grew further apart. Though I have disappointed him many times, he did not bear any grudge but still loved me as before. We do have our differences - I guess that is common between two parties.

Anyway, now that dad has retired, I am trying my best to spend time with him as oft as I can. It is an effort but it is always worth the while when we managed to go out for a drink or when we accompany mum to the hospital. I am already an adult but dad still calls occasionally when I am out, asking whether I have eaten and always caution me to take care of myself wherever I go. Sometimes a little naggy but then I am more touched than irked by his kind gesture.

I am not trying to boast writing this but my caring nature comes from my father but at the same time a weakness also manifests itself from this characteristic - that is we both can be too naggy at times. We mean well generally but sometimes we put people off when we over-care. Haha. I am learning to strike a balance.

So much for my earthly father. I am glad to also know my heavenly Father. Though sometimes dad fails in certain areas, one thing about my Father in heaven is that He never fails me because He is a perfect Father. Though I have learnt from dad quite a bit over the years, nothing can beat the abundant lessons I can learn from Jesus. Dad is afterall a human himself and he has his shortcomings - whatever I cannot learn from him, I will get that from my loving Father. He (Jesus) has a lot of godly characteristics in which I am still trying to attain. I shared these with a youth group today. The passage is taken from 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. I basically challenged the youths to replace the word "love" with that of their names and see whether they have those characteristics. If no, then I told them to ask the Lord to help them practise these traits in their lives.

Another passage is taken from Galatians 5:22-23 where it spoke about the fruit of the Spirit.

Well, if ever I get the chance to be a father, I would like to be like dad and Dad. They have taught me much and I will put to practice these that I have learnt with my children.

May the Lord be my help in the above desire. Thanks be to God for my father and Father! If not for them I would not have been who I am today. My Father is still very much dealing with my life and it will be ongoing even till I die, I guess.

I was with the youths for a game of touch-rugby. Many turned up and I was encouraged by that. A dear sister and I took turn to referee the games. It was fun as usual but every one was super-dirty after everything was over. Some of us had dinner together and we had a good time of fellowship together. I praise the Lord for the bonding and I look forward to more of this in the near future.

Time to sleep. I hope I can though. Another brand new week - well, I shall cherish it as I go through each day. There is a mix of happiness and sadness as I think about the days ahead. Well, I am sure God will help me deal with them as they come by.

Good night, every one!

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law." Galatians 5:22-23

God Created Me Unique

Have you ever wanted to be someone else? Have you ever tried copying someone in terms of his or her dressing/style, accent, likes, dislikes, etc? Yesterday I was at the second night of the Radio Bible Class (RBC) Ministry Bible Conference in St. Andrew's Cathedral and I was reminded to be myself.

I have always wanted to be like Tom Cruise who has got the looks. After watching the movie, "Top Gun," where he acted as a fighter jet pilot, I told myself I am going to be like him. Then I looked in the mirror, I realised it is quite impossible: he's a Caucasian and I am a Chinese; he's got the sharp features and I have the round ones; he's got the six-pack and I have the six-in-one pack; he's tall and I am just an average-height chap.

For a period of time, I felt lousy about the way I look and what I was. Though I have learnt to overcome that, there is no denial that sometimes I still wish I can be someone else. I guess it is a human thing. I also realised that whenever I turn my focus off God, then I become shakey in terms of who and what I am.

I am thankful that I got to know Jesus Christ and over the years in my growing up as a Christian, I learnt to accept myself. In fact, I was reminded last night that I am created unique so that my life can touch those around me when I exercise the gifts and talents God has given me.

At the end of the day, it is not the way I look but what I am inside that can make a difference in the lives of others. At the same time, it is also what is inside that can put people off. I guess I have to always make a conscious effort to watch myself. Wait! Let me add on to that - I think so long as I desire to know God, then my life will naturally become Christ-like and it should bless lives rather than blast lives. Right?

If I can use the uniqueness God has made me to be, why should I want to be someone else? I guess the one and only Person I should want to copy is Jesus Christ Himself. Why should I want to be like another human when I should desire for the Creator who made every human?

Well, it was a good wake-up call for me yesterday. I am Andy Chew. I am given gifts and talents and I will use them to minister to others. I still put people off occasionally because of my weaknesses/shortcomings but I am learning to overcome them bit by bit. Bear with me, every one.

It is quite amazing that a couple of days ago, I was struggling with the issue of my life repelling others more than attracting. I guess God wants to jolt me and not let this affect what I can be and do. May His name be glorified in my words, thoughts and deeds.

Today has been a long day for me. I got a lift to church from a dear brother who came by to pick something up for another friend. Then I had to go to Marina Bay to help set up some stuff for the National Day rehearsal. Then I went to meet a dear brother and sister to plan with them their wedding which will be held at the end of the year. Then it was back to Marina Bay again. When everything was in order, I left before the rehearsal commenced. I shopped alone around town and bought a couple of things. As my left knee was feeling a little painful, I decided to go home.

Well, thanks be to God for sustaining me through this day!

"But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:7-14

Let Us Be Both Mary And Martha

I attended a talk at St. Andrew's Cathedral organised by the Radio Bible Class (RBC) Ministries - the organisation that brings us "The Daily Bread" devotional guide. The talk is for women but men are welcomed to attend. The theme was on "Making Choice Choices" and the speaker is Professor Alice Mathews. The teaching session is held over two days - Thursday and Friday at 7:30pm.

Some of you may be asking what does the theme mean? How come a same word appears twice? Well, in the English Language, the word "choice" has two meanings - one refers to a decision that an individual has to make; the other refers to excellence. In other words, the theme also means, "Making Excellent Choices." Just playing of words by Prof. Mathews.

Anyway, there were two sermons being taught and I would like to share the second one. I will try my best to make it as clear as possible.

The message was on Mary and Martha (Luke 10:38-42) where many preachers like to use this passage to make a comparison - they always seemed to be preaching that Mary was doing the right thing and Martha was doing the wrong thing.

Today's talk debunks the right and wrong issue and I was deeply blest by the way Prof. Mathews explained it. What Martha did was not wrong - her actions were okay but it was her attitude that needed to be changed. In the midst of her doing, she allowed her busyness to get the better of her. In the end, it led to her feeling frustrated and discouraged when her work is not being noticed by others. On the other hand, Mary seemed to have made the right choice of sitting down to listen to Jesus. The speaker stressed that Mary did not choose the better but she simply chose what was good and beneficial.

Then Prof. Mathews led the congregation to the verse before this passage, found in Luke 10:27. She was correcting our understanding of service/ministry. The Mary and Martha analogy was about this very verse she pointed out.

She taught that in order to serve God, it is important for the individual to know Him first-hand and be blest by His Word. Only then will his attitude be right and that he can be more effective in his service.

The other lesson I learnt was this - service is not just about doing. When we choose to love God first as mentioned in verse 27 of Luke Chapter 10 and understand fully what His love is about, will we then know how to show love to others through our service/ministry.

We need to be a Mary first and then a Martha - let us choose to listen to God first and learn more about Him (Mary) and then after that, put to action through our service (Martha).

Many Christians run out of steam in their service simply because they are not communing with God enough daily through the reading of His Word and in prayer. Ministry and knowing God must run concurrently. The latter gives energy and sustenance to the former and when a Christian keeps doing that, his strength will always be renewed. He will also find joy in his service because he knows he is first doing for God and also doing it to bless others what he has been blest with.

Let us be both Mary and Martha in our service! That is a choice choice a servant of God can ever make.

I hope I make sense in what I have written above.

"Now it happened as they went that He entered a certain village; and a certain woman named Martha welcomed Him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who also sat at Jesus’ feet and heard His word. But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she approached Him and said, “Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me.” And Jesus answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:38-42

"He answered: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'" Luke 10:27

Which Is More Important?

I am now in Ngee Ann City Coffee Bean. I am in a limbo now - I am actually feeling a little unwell. I feel lethargic and my body is aching. Later I will be attending a talk in St. Andrew's Cathedral. I want to go for the seminar but at the same time I know I should go home and rest since I am feeling a little whoozie. Anyway, I think I should be well soon - just consumed two panadols given to me by the cafe staff.

Funnily I could not sleep this morning. I tossed and turned in my bed but still could not enter into slumberland. In the end, I just surfed the net. I only managed to sleep at 4am and woke up at around 9am. I was supposed to bring mum to the specialist to check her sugar level - in the end, my brother brought her instead.

Earlier I was running some errands and doing some shopping. As I did not have the energy to go all out, I decided to go to the cafe to have my usual Ultimate Ice Blended. I just finished my reading and thought I blog a little.

As I am typing now, I am actually being entertained by a conversation by these two ladies sitting next to my table. I would love not to eavesdrop but they are talking so loudly that it is hard to do so. One of them is talking about this man in her department who is interested in her. I am not particularly thrilled by what they are talking about. Instead there is this tinge of sadness.

The lady whom the man is interested in is not reciprocating. From what I gathered, it has nothing to do with his character because I did not really hear any of that being mentioned except that he is generally a sweet guy . Instead the reasons she is not interested are: he is just a mere manager; does not own a car; does not go clubbing; and the shirt he wears is from G2000 (I do not know how she knows that though). It did not help that her friend actually agreed that he is not suitable for her. Of course I do not have the full picture but what I heard so far caused me to conclude that the man's character does not matter to these two ladies. The important thing is the material possessions that he owns.

Well, every one is entitled to their opinions but it is disheartening to hear about the above-mentioned. It is no doubt that a certain amount of material possession is important for the sustenance of oneself but it should not at the end of the day be the main factor in accepting someone.

I cannot deny that I have judged the two ladies. I seek the Lord's forgiveness in that but I sure hope my friends do not accept me for what I have but more so for who I am. Every one may not be perfect in terms of character but I feel that is more important than anything else. Is there no life and joy if one is poor?

Anyway, just my thoughts. I shall stop here for now.

"Someone in the crowd said to him, "Teacher, tell my brother to divide the inheritance with me." Jesus replied, "Man, who appointed me a judge or an arbiter between you?" Then he said to them, "Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions." And he told them this parable: "The ground of a certain rich man produced a good crop. He thought to himself, 'What shall I do? I have no place to store my crops.' "Then he said, 'This is what I'll do. I will tear down my barns and build bigger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods. And I'll say to myself, "You have plenty of good things laid up for many years. Take life easy; eat, drink and be merry." ' "But God said to him, 'You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?' "This is how it will be with anyone who stores up things for himself but is not rich toward God." Luke 12:13-21

God Will Finish The Battle

Thanks be to God!!! I want to start off this blog with thanksgiving. God truly deserves all praise and glory for all that He has been doing for mum and the family. Mum went for a scan this morning after her treatment. The result revealed that her tumour has diminished by two-third the size. The doctor said it is a very good sign and he recommended four more radiotherapy sessions to totally eradicate the problem!

Well, though there is still the one-third of growth left, I cannot help it but to be grateful to God. The family has gone through a lot. Today I feel I can breathe better. I can also feel the weight on my shoulders lighter now. The past couple of weeks have been a roller-coaster ride for me - my mood was swinging (my apologies if I have offended any one), my sleep was lacking, my mind was swaying, my energy was sapping. I praise God for sustaining me through. I told Him He has to help me - I needed to be strong as every one else in the family was quite troubled. Sometimes I had to force myself to smile when it was tough to do so. Now as I look back, I have nothing but relief. The battle is not over but I know God will finish it for mum and my family.

After accompanying mum home, I went to the beach along East Coast Parkway to just be quiet before God. For one and a half months there were a lot of things crying out for attention. I had no choice but to entertain them. Today after I got the report, I just felt I needed to be quiet. As I shared with God my gratefulness by the breakwater, I could not hold the tears of joy that were flowing down my cheeks. It was a time of refreshing for me.

Truly the Lord is good and His love endures forever! I know this period has strengthened my parents and grandma's faith in God. As for my brother, he smiled when he heard the news. I know somewhere in his heart, he knows there is a true God in action - I hope he will be curious to know more about this Almighty God whom the Chew family has come to know of and worships.

Godma just called and I shared with her the good news. She rejoiced with the family. As mentioned in my previous blog where I shared about the lesson I learnt from the touch-rugby game - I want to thank those of you who have been reading my blogs and have been praying for and with my family. God has answered our prayers and is still listening. Thank you for supporting my family and I. I still covet your prayers till the healing is done - I hope this testimony will affirm in us that our God never fails.

To God be the glory, honour and praise!

"You are worthy, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they were created and have their being." Revelation 4:11

God's Will Be Done

I just spent some moments with mum in prayer - tomorrow she'll be going for her sixth radiotherapy session and after that she'll undergo a scan for the doctor to ascertain the progress of the treatment so far.

I am anxious. She is too. In fact my whole family is. Well, I am thankful we went to God in prayer, asking the Lord to prepare our hearts for the results. I shared with the family that just as much as we want to pray for healing for mum, we also need to pray for the Lord's will to be done in her life and in the lives of the rest of us. Well, we gave thanks for everything that had happened already and those that are to come. I think that allowed us not to demand of God for what we want but to believe that what He has put us through is for our good and the building of our faith and family.

Well, I shall leave my thoughts as that for now. I shan't write further today though I have a couple of things to share. Another day perhaps.

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:2

Winning Life's Race Together

Have you ever wondered how time flies so fast that you do not even know where it went to? Lately I have been feeling this way though I know time moves at a constant pace. Sometimes I wish it would move slower so that I could catch up with it but obviously it does not work that way. Sometimes I wish time would stop completely especially during those moments when I cherish them most - again those were just wishful thinking. Of course there were occasions when I wish I could turn back time (as written in my previous blog) and live my life differently or hope certain parts of my life would be changed but as I have mentioned, it would never happen.

Well, I guess I have to be grateful for the present, thankful for the past and hopeful for the future. Time is, afterall, in God's hand.

It has been a rather long day - I brought mum to the hospital for her diabetes check-up. Because of that I could not go for my accountability group meeting with three of my brothers-in-Christ. I had wanted to go because I have a couple of things that I would like to share with them but I guess that has got to wait for now. Well, just as much as I am disappointed not being able to attend the session, I guess I have my obligation to take care of mum's physical well-being. No dispute that family matters come first. Anyway, mum's sugar level is high - I hope the medication will help stabilise it.

After sending mum home, I went out to run some errands for myself and also for some friends. I also needed to settle some banking matters which was a headache but thanks be to God, it was resolved. I also went to buy a couple of things. When I was in town I met a dear brother by coincidence. As he needed to buy an electrical item, I brought him to Lucky Plaza where I know some shops carry the product and could offer a reasonable price. He managed to find it in the first shop we stepped into. The price was also good.

As my brother was not feeling well, he headed home to rest while I carried on with my errands. Well, it is always fun to shop with friends especially when looking for things and purchasing them at a satisfactory price.

Anyway, so much for that. I went to join some siblings-in-Christ to play touch-rugby at Tavistock Park at 5:30pm. As my left knee is still recovering and my body not up to par, I did not play but instead I took the role of a referee and guided the game along. Every one had fun. I wish in the next game, more will participate.

I learnt one spiritual lesson from the game. Touch-rugby basically requires the cooperation of the team members to manoeuvre the ball around each other so that one of the members will go for a try at the touch-line to win a point for the team. It is basically a concerted effort and not an individual one. One of the rules is that there should not be a foreward pass of the ball from one team member to another. Every one must be behind the member who has the ball.

I guess the above-mentioned serves as a reminder for me that in the race I am running in my pilgrim's journey, I cannot do it on my own. Instead I need my siblings-in-Christ to always be behind me to support and ready to help me when I am in dire straits. They are also there to help me when the opponents (the devil) try to bring me down. The one thing that humbled me when I was reflecting on this game is basically this - when I succeed in going for a try, the glory is not my own but it has to be shared with my spiritual family members who were there to hold me. Of course, God receives the highest praise as He is always there to push us on and to supply anything that we lack in.

Well, I shall end here. Praise the Lord for the thoughts given to me as written above.

"You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love. The entire law is summed up in a single command: "Love your neighbor as yourself." If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other." Galatians 5:13-15

Great Significance - Can I?

I learnt a few lessons today - in fact two were from the service. The sermon was on "Redemptive Significance" and it was a good reminder for me especially as a Christian in this world and as a friend to another.

As a Christian, I learnt the need to live my life in a manner that I can allow others to see Christ working in me as a testimony. But when I was pondering on that point, there was a battle as in how can I live that kind of life? Must it be one where I have to be super-spiritual? I asked the Lord about this and my take is that no one can - as in Christians are still humans and humans err. I guess I can only live as much as I can a life that is pleasing in God's sight. I also need to have a desire where I yearn to allow God to mould and transform me accordingly especially my sins and shortcomings. It will take time for others to see a transformation but I guess that is alright. To me, that is the most effective way in reaching out to others. Through this, not many words need to be spoken to convince, just allowing others to see the change in me is enough to testify that the God whom I worship is real and true. I can be of great significance in the sight of others if I choose to do so. It is my prayer that I can be.

As a friend, I want to make a difference in someone's life. In my blog yesterday, I shared about how I sometimes feel I repel others more than I attract. I cannot deny I have my shortcomings and weaknesses which sometimes, if not kept in check, may put others off. It is a constant struggle. A dear sister spoke to me on this issue last night and she asked whether it is due to low self-esteem. I cannot deny that as well. Frankly I do not generally have much confidence in myself when I am with people. Many times I struggle a lot to not show it and I always thank God for reminding me that I have Him to lead and guide me. I guess it is due to past failures that cause me to have this insecurity. Still learning about this aspect of my life. I guess I am trying my best to be as best a friend to another - sometimes I pass; sometimes I fail. Hope all will bear with me when the latter happens.

The other lesson I learnt at service got to do with my role as a worship leader. Though I have been leading worship for years, I am thankful that God is still teaching me new things through others who care to point out some areas in which I can improve on. A dear brother shared with me after the service that I should not use the points to be preached in the sermon in the praise segment as it will then become repetitive. My initial purpose of doing that was to reinforce the theme of the service but I guess what my brother shared made sense as well. Praise the Lord for teaching me in this area.

Well, I guess that is all I want to share for today. I am feeling a little unwell - very lethargic and body feels weak. I hope I can sleep it off tonight and be well tomorrow.

To God be the glory for everything. Journey goes on in the brand new week ahead - making a conscious effort to be a blessing to the people I will be meeting along the way - family members; friends; acquaintances, strangers, needy, anyone basically. :)

"But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy. Dear friends, I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul. Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us." 1 Peter 2:9-12

The Beatitudes

I just came home from a get-together for a friend. It was a surprise gathering for her and I believe all who were present hoped she enjoyed herself.

Earlier I was with some friends for a drink at Villa Bali near Queensway area. It was a nice and cosy place to sit down and chat.

I attended the Youth Ministry Mentors' (YMMs) monthly fellowship at a dear brother's home. It was a good time of sharing of our lives and prayer needs so that we could encourage and intercede for one another.

We touched on the Beatitudes found in Matthew 5:1-16. If you have read this passage before, it sounds very gloomy and discouraging because it touches on some negative aspects of life (both the physical and spiritual).

When I was pondering on the 16 verses, it dawned upon me that yes, though the passage sounded very sad but it was there for a reason and "grace" came to mind. I saw the grace of God in all that were written because He is warning and encouraging the readers that it is not a bad thing having to go through the negative aspects of life. There are precious lessons to learn from it. It is usually in times of trial and tribulation that one learns the most. I guess the Beatitudes were there to remind us of this. Another lesson I learnt from this was - if we can try to see our struggles as something good and our attitude towards overcoming them is one of trust in the Lord to pull us through and finding joy in this difficult times, it can be a testimony to many around us. This would then cause them to wonder who is this God we are worshipping. I hope we will press on in this so that we can let others see Christ in us in how we live our lives.

This is a timely lesson for me because today I suddenly feel I have not been a sensitive friend to my other friends. Sometimes I feel I repel more than I attract people. I do not really know why I feel this way but it kind of bugged me.

Well, I guess it is good to experience the above-mentioned as it allows me to evaluate. Sometimes I have to confess that I really have no idea how to be a friend to another. I struggle with this constantly. When it happens, I would usually do two things - one, I would try my best to be the friend I think I should be but many times I would fail miserably. At the end of it all, I still do put some friends off; two, I would just distant myself and stay clear of people so that my actions would not affect others.

This is not the first time I am struggling with this - maybe I have not learnt this lesson fully as yet.

As I am writing the above thoughts, it occurred to me that maybe God wants me to grapple with this due to what I am going to do tomorrow as a worship leader. As the passage will be on how one can be of great significance wherever he or she goes, perhaps I have to learn something from this first before encouraging the congregation what they can do.

Anyway, I pray the Lord will lead and guide me as I serve Him tomorrow. I always feel very burdened before I lead - I guess leading worship is not just about singing songs but also being sensitive to the Spirit's leading, obeying what He wants me to do and stirring the church to a certain direction.

I shall end here. I am looking forward to worshipping God tomorrow with the rest of my siblings-in-Christ. May the Lord teach us what it means to worship Him in Spirit and in truth.

"Now when he saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down. His disciples came to him, and he began to teach them saying: "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God. Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. "Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you. "You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men. "You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven." Matthew 5:1-16

Looking Heavenwards

I just arrived at Ngee Ann City Coffee Bean. While ordering my usual Ultimate Ice Blended, two staff who know me after being a regular customer here spoke to me and asked how come I have not visited the joint for more than a week already. I told them I was busy with stuff. Like old friends, they updated me on one of their colleagues having just been promoted to the rank of a supervisor. I am happy to hear about the promotion because that staff, by the name of Boon, is really friendly and his customer service standard is considered excellent! As he is off today, I asked his two colleagues to convey my congratulations to him the next time he is on duty. :)

I had lunch with a dear sister-in-Christ earlier at Miss Clarity Cafe. I missed their chicken leg with mushroom sauce and potatoes a lot and am satisfied now that I have consumed it. Praise the Lord! I decided to come here to spend some time reading the Bible and also to write this blog. My sister had to meet her boyfriend after the meal so we went on our separate ways. I was thinking of preparing for the praise and worship session but decided I shall do it tomorrow in the church office before the worship team rehearsal.

I was awake early in the morning. I could not sleep basically. I went online to check my emails and I was surprised to receive a note from a certain individual who shared with me about the struggles he is facing in his life currently. One phrase in the email caught my attention and I would like to share a bit of my thoughts on it. I have sought permission from this brother-in-Christ to write on this topic.

The phrase was "How I wish I can turn back time and change some things of the past." My question is "Do we really wish to turn back time?" What makes us think that if we could turn back time and change some things that the outcome would be better? What happens if they are worst than what we are currently going through now? Where is God in this thought that we are having now?

I asked the above questions because there were several times in my life that I wanted things to be different if I could just turn back the clock:-

1) I wished I was born in a different family; If that is not possible, I wished I could have a different mum;

2) I wished I was less rebellious;

3) I wished I was more studious;

4) I wished my character would have been more attractive;

5) I wished I could have exercised more and be less horizontally challenged;

6) I wished I was not sick;

7) I wished there were less failures in my life as in studies, relationships and other pursuits;

8) I wished I was more confident.

9) I even wished, at one point, I could have served less in church so that I have more time to socialise outside of church. Can you believe that?

We all know we cannot turn back time; we all know what is in the past stays in the past. But there are a few things we know we can do in the present:-

a) Give thanks to God for the unpleasant things that had happened in our lives. Tough but by giving thanks, we are basically telling God and ourselves that there is a reason for what had happened and by reflecting, perhaps we can cherish the lessons we have learnt and see how these encounters can build our character and make us to be a better and stronger person. Ultimately, by giving thanks, we are acknowledging God's will being done in our lives - that we trust Him enough to let our lives' journey mould us to be the kind of person He wants us to be;

b) To press on ahead and let God help us in what we can do now. The past we cannot control but we can stir the present and with God's help, we can move ahead and try not to commit the same mistake that had happened before.

c) To help each other in the healing of emotions and to press on in what is ahead to win the prize that God has called us heavenward. Pressing ahead brings us closer to heaven; trying to go back to the past simply brings us further away from where God wants us to be.

Having written the above-mentioned, I have to say I am glad to have gone through this pilgrim's journey thus far. When I was going through it, of course I found them a drag but now I shall go through what God wants me to experience with a positive attitude because He knows what is best for me. I also know He will not allow anything to harm me in the course of the lessons He is teaching me.

In the nine "I wished" I wrote earlier, let me share what I have learnt so far:-

1) Though my family was in constant quarrels in the past and mum used to abuse me a lot physically, I now thank God for giving them to me. All these unpleasantness have caused us to learn about our flaws and shortcomings and now we see our wrongs. We are constantly overcoming them and we are beginning to see the inner beauty of one another at home. It reminds me also that my family members are humans. The best part is my parents and grandma have God to help them now. Though my brother is still a non-believer, I believe God is also teaching him and helping him.

2) Being rebellious was wrong because I wanted to irk my mum for the pressures she put me through. I have learnt and she has learnt from this as well. The lessons taught I now use them to help others who are going through the same struggle.

3) When God opened opportunities and alternative routes to allow me to continue with my studies, I learnt to cherish them. I learnt to be studious over time (because I am grateful for the avenues He provided for me) and the fruit of my labour paid off. I thank God for what He has given me especially the qualifications I now have. All glory be to Him!

4) My character is still being moulded by God and it will be so till I die. I can never be 100% attractive to others because of the flaws, weaknesses and shortcomings that I still struggle with. It is my prayer that the people around me will see the beauty that God has also created in me. I am still "Work In Progress" as I had written before. In saying this, I am also learning to accept other people's beauty and ugliness.

5) There were many times I wished I could have been a thinner person because I feel that people are more attracted to this kind of build but I am not too bothered by it anymore. I want people to accept me for what and who I am and if ever I want to lose those few pounds, it would be for my health sake and nothing else. Of course I have hit a snag in this due to my knee injury. I hope I can be well soon to carry on where I left off.

6) Then I wished I was healthier. Well, now indeed I am better physically. It was a painful process when I was suffering from my kidney ailment but having gone through pain for a period of time, having them taken away now allows me to appreciate life better. The lessons I have learnt from this are invaluable and I will use them to bless others who are going through certain health problems currently. One of them is mum.

7) Failures I have experienced allow me to cherish successes more. It also reminded me that sometimes having to take the longer route to reach the same destination is okay because I can learn more in that journey and to understand better why they happened. Thanks be to God!

8) Being confident was never my strength and I am still struggling with this. I am still learning about it but I now know one thing - when I do not have confidence in myself, I find it in the Lord who reminds me constantly that He is my refuge and strength, an everpresent help in times of need (Psalm 46:1).

9) This wish I had was a stupid one because then I thought I could have used the time to socialise and know other people more and maybe can find my life-partner in the course of it. Now I know nothing beats serving the Lord and making a difference in other people's lives. If He so knows my desire to share my life with someone and if it is His will, He will give me the lady whom I love and cherish a lot.

Well, I am sure long-winded but I shall not be apologetic here because these are the goodness of the Lord that I want to testify. I am not boasting about the above-mentioned. May the Lord deal with me if I had that motive - I want to remind us and myself included that it is important to press forward and not look back - it is the future that we can change and let us help one another in this. Of course, let us not forget about God. :) Wait! Please do not get me wrong that it is wrong to look back. It is perfectly fine to do so but it should not and must not affect us.

Let us continue to fight the good fight, press on to finish the race and keep the faith!

I shall end here. Again, thanks and glory be to God!

"Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:13-14

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing." 2 Timothy 4:7-8

Ironing Is Good!

Last night I was ironing a huge pile of clothes and it took me a total of two hours to do so. As it was quite boring just ironing, I took the time to pray and sang the songs I chose for this Sunday's praise and worship. My family members, especially my bro (who is a non-believer), most probably have thought that I was mad. Anyway, praying and singing while ironing surely made the whole session more meaningful and fun. It felt faster too especially with the large amount I was doing.

I learnt a couple of lessons from this ironing activity - I was reminded that I am like the T-shirt or shirt or trousers or hankerchief. My life is full of creases - pet-sins, weaknesses, shortcomings, etc. With these creases of life, they tend to make me messy, unattractive and a put-off especially in the sight of others.

God is like the iron - whenever He sees the creases of my life, He will be there ready to iron me out and remove those imperfections if I allow Him to. If I refuse, then I will be like the pile of clothes in the basket, all creased up and forever a mess!

Upon learning this lesson, I prayed and confessed my sins, weaknesses and shortcomings to God. I admitted to Him that I need Him to help me iron out these mess I have created. I also shared with the Lord that I want to live a life in a manner where I am "attractive" to others and above all, pleasing in the sight of Him. Tough, as it may be, but I hope with His help, I will learn to overcome the creases of my life.

As I was ironing, I also noticed holes or slight tears along the seams of some of the clothings. I would basically stop my ironing and take out a needle and thread to mend those holes or tears. God does that to our lives too - He wants to mend the pain, the hurts, the emotional or physical scars, the disappointments, the rage, the hopelessness of our fragile lives. He has a lot of things to deal with especially when His creation is so huge but I know my God will stop doing everything and spend the time with me to heal me spiritually, physically, emotionally and mentally.

Again I took the time to pray that God would help me cope with the pains that I am still experiencing especially the physical and emotional ones that I have been carrying for a while. I shared with Him from the bottom of my heart my struggles in these areas. I hope in His time, He will release me from all these.

One more lesson I learnt about ironing - that of broken relationships from quarrels, misunderstandings, clashes of character, envy, jealousy, unforgiveness, bitterness and betrayal. Most of the time when there is a rift in relationships between two parties, the normal thing to do is to break that bond and forever become enemies. Do you know that the normal thing for a Christian to do, especially in situations like this, is always the opposite of our natural reaction? We basically need to iron out our differences, forgive one another and rebuild the relationship. Of course this will take a while but it is better than not doing anything about it. Why give up a relationship so easily when it has been so tough building it since it first started?

Well, again I shared with the Lord some of the struggles I have with a few friends whom I cherish a lot. I hope He will always prompt me as to what I should do and that I will always strive towards building each other up than tearing one another down.

Okie, so much for my sharing. I brought mum to the hospital in the morning. By the way, I woke up feeling cheery as I know after today's radiotherapy session, mum is one step closer to full recovery. Not many steps left and I am looking forward to the day when I hear from the doctor that all the cancer cells in mum's cervix have been eradicated! Next week is a crucial week as mum will have to go for a scan to ascertain whether there is improvement. I shall claim in the name of Jesus that it will be so. May the Lord's will be done in this area.

In an hour's time, I have to attend a leaders' meeting. A couple of days back I was not looking forward to it but today as I was praying in Botanic Gardens, I felt the joy of having to attend it. In my heart I know it may not be that bad afterall especially in what I am to present. The Lord prompted me to let my words be few and I shall do that later.

Well, I shall blog on that when I get home. So far, thanks be to God for all that He has taught me and for pulling me through the day thus far.

To Him be the glory!

"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18

"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." Psalm 147:3

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:9

"Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift." Matthew 5:23-24

Bring A Good Cheer To Someone

I was in Chinatown this afternoon to collect some documents. It was not planned but I praise the Lord that He made my trip a pleasant one. I am especially pleased with the good customer service of this agency that I went to. The lady whom I have been liaising with for the past one week or so has been so accommodating that I have nothing but praise for her willingness to help meet all the requests I asked for.

When she saw me at the counter, she came out personally to greet me and shook my hand though I could tell she was very busy.

This kind lady, who is probably in her late 40s or early 50s, has been very sweet. In the process of confirming with her the purchase of the product over the phone, she even tried to get a discount for me but was not allowed to as I was not eligible for it. She also ran through the checklist with me to ensure I have everything in order. She even secured something for me from another agency when I requested for it. Though the standard arrangement could have been settled verbally, she printed the approval letter so that I do not have to worry about showing proof of document should there be a miscommunication.

After I have made the payment, I waved her goodbye - she was in another room but looking out of the window, she returned the wave. I felt I needed to give her something for such a good service rendered. I went to Coffee Bean to buy her an Ultimate Ice Blended (my favourite!) and a muffin. I went back to the agency to pass her the two items. She thanked me in Cantonese and I said, "You are welcome!" in the same language though my vocabulary was so limited. I do not know why she thinks I know how to speak Cantonese because since I first spoke to her on the phone, she slowly switched to this language. I thank God for giving me the gift of tongue in speaking the dialect and also the gift of interpretation for understanding it. :)

Anyway, it is people like this lady who makes the day of others. I hope I can be like her.

I was in church earlier to prepare for the praise and worship session that I will be leading this Sunday at the 11:15am service. Before I looked at the songs and thought of what to do, I spent some time in prayer. The Lord as always answered my prayer and guided me through the preparation. Songs just came in one after another. I have a draft list now. I shall take the rest of tonight to ponder on them and hopefully the Lord will give me the discernment to know whether they are the confirmed ones so that I can pass the list to the Worship Team.

I decided to go for a walk with my dog after coming back from Chinatown. As I was walking, I took the time to thank God for all that He has done for me today. I also took the moment to converse with Him the needs of some of my friends (especially for their health) and also for myself (health as well).

Tomorrow mum is going for her fifth radiotherapy session - she has not vomitted for a couple of days already and I thank God for that. I prayed for her that this is a good sign and that she is on the road to recovery. I hope to give her and dad a well-deserved treat when all the treatments are over and done with and also when the doctor has given her a clean bill of health. I hope to send them on a holiday when this ordeal is over so that they can celebrate the Lord's goodness in another land.

Well, last week I did not look forward to Wednesday because of mum's treatment but I guess I shall look forward to tomorrow - I want to believe that every time a treatment is completed, mum is one step closer to healing. If that is the case, why should I not be looking forward to the day of her visitation to the hospital?

My left knee just gave me problems again. There was a sharp pain when I sat down just now. Well, it is better now - maybe I strained it when I was walking with Sasha.

Okie, I shall stop here. Got piles of clothes to iron.

Thanks be to God for today!

"A cheerful look brings joy to the heart, and good news gives health to the bones." Proverbs 15:30

Standing By One Another

I just finished writing my journal. As I was reflecting and jotting my thoughts, my heart felt heavy and sad. A dear brother-in-Christ corresponded with me over the MSN - he asked me whether I was okay during the dinner appointment we had with a few other siblings-in-Christ.

We were sharing about how superficial we can be sometimes when in the presence of one another; how we fail to help one another when we see something not right in another person's life; how sometimes we make use of one another and take each other for granted; how when we see someone struggling in their faith and yet not confronting the issue but instead closing an eye to the whole matter; how we place other areas of our lives above God. We were burdened that these are happening amongst Christians.

We acknowledged that Christians are humans too but the difference we can make in another person's life is the need for us to take an effort to help one another in our struggles with sins and our shortcomings. If we are not doing that, then who else would? If we feel the nudge from God to help a brother or a sister and chose not to respond to that prompting, how then will we help one another grow in the Lord and in maturity?

It is tiring having to deal with the above-mentioned but the both of us reminded each other that we cannot avoid our responsibility and obligation to spur one another on. We challenged each other to do something about it though it can be drag and we have decided to begin with prayer for one another.

Well, I pray God can use the both of us. I also hope God will bring others into my life to help me in my struggles and desire to be a better person for Him and the people around me.

I went out to run some errands for myself and others in the afternoon. I thank God I managed to get most of the things done but along the way I was also disappointed I could not get a discounted deal which initially I thought I could.

Anyway, thanks be to God for guiding me through the running around!

I am leading worship this Sunday and I have yet to sit down and seek the Lord in what songs to sing and what to do for the service. I hope I can do that tomorrow when I spend the day in church. I pray God will give me the discernment and that I will obey His promptings.

Lately I feel a little dryness in my walk - I hope the Lord will refresh me soon and bring me out of this rut.

"And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching." Hebrews 10:24-25

Practising The Right Things

It has been two days since I last blog. I did a wedding photography assignment for two of my siblings-in-Christ who tied the knot yesterday (at the wedding service) and celebrated their marriage in feasting today (at the wedding banquet). In all I took more than 600 pictures. I just finished editing them and will pass the photo-CD to the couple soon. I hope they will like them. It has been a joy serving them on their big day. I am exhausted but I shall finish this blog first before I go to bed.

I think I might have offended someone. I pray my friend is not too angry with my indecisiveness or any of my other shortcomings. I did not mean to agitate but I guess I might just have done so.

Yesterday I had another unpleasant encounter in the midst of my photography session. I learnt something from there that I asked the Lord to help me not commit the same mistake. Anyway, this incident has no relation to the wedding of my two siblings-in-Christ.

I hope as a brother-in-Christ to my other siblings in church, I will not lay obstacles or make things difficult for them that it becomes a stumbling block. Sometimes we let rules or policies (which are necessary to have for the sake of orderliness) get the better of us to the point where we become inflexible and in turn kills the excitement of a brother or sister who is eager to share God's goodness to others. Why be so rigid when we know by going an extra mile to accommodate this sibling, the larger body of Christ will be edified? I think it is okay occasionally to break or bend some rules made by man for the sake of being supportive to someone else's ministry.

Today I have been reminded of something which I am sometimes guilty of - never get personal or show prejudices against someone when there is something that you do not like or cannot accept about that individual. Many times we let the flaws of someone get the better of us that it is tough to accept that person. Have we ever realised that we too have our shortcomings and surely we do not want our friends or others to use that as a weapon to put us down, right? If that is so, then why are we doing it against others?

I have a confession to make. I went out with a few younger siblings-in-Christ last night to spend some time with a sister who will be leaving us very soon for overseas studies. While in the car, we were talking about a few people and suddenly I joined in and started saying a couple of negative things against a sibling-in-Christ which I now feel I should not have done so. What do I gain by making those remarks? I was the oldest in the group and yet I set such a lousy example to the younger ones which in my heart I wish others will not do it to me.

Gossips are to be thrown out of our lives. If the negative things we say about someone are not for the correction or building of that person, then just keep the comments to ourselves and not let this cause us to sin against God.

Mere talk about someone without resolution is gossip; but constructive talk about someone with the desire to build him up is edification.

I am very sleepy now. I shall end here. May the Lord and all whom I have offended forgive me - I am still "Work in Progress."

To God be the glory for guiding me in the photography task.

"A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much." Proverbs 20:19

"A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret." Proverbs 11:13

Hold Fast To The Lord

I am now in church. I just had dinner. I went down to buy food for two other persons. The whole afternoon I have been here - had to attend a meeting which I am thankful to the Lord for as it has thrown some light to the matter that I am looking into pertaining to the Missions Ministry. Well, the road ahead is still quite long but I shall press on and trust that the Lord will lead and guide me accordingly.

I woke up early to collect some health supplements from a dear brother-in-Christ. As he was finishing his shift soon, I had to quickly catch him before he left for home. He offered to send them to me personally but I felt it was not right to request from him the supplements and still expect him to deliver them to my place. Anyway, I treated him to breakfast as a token of my appreciation. We had a great time of fellowship - talking about our lives, our struggles, mum, and church ministries.

I praise the Lord for this dear friend as he has been there for my family especially when he heard about mum's cancer. He has also been helping me obtain supplements at a good deal whenever I need them.

When I was sharing with my friend about some burdens I have been carrying, he encouraged me to hold fast to the faith I have in the Lord. He was telling me burdens are sometimes good to carry for a while because ultimately when it is lifted off me (when the Lord feels that it is time to do so), the feeling is really great. The sudden lightness will propel me to thank the Lord for the journey travelled and to cherish the lessons learnt. He reminded me that God does not torture His children, He is just nurturing them. Food for thought for me.

I ran some errands after that - I wanted to donate blood after meeting my friend but when I went to the blood bank I was told I am not due yet for the next donation.

I am feeling quite lousy today - cannot really pinpoint why. Maybe it is a combination of a few things. Then I was reminded again to be joyful in the Lord always. I was in the toilet just now - I looked at myself in the mirror, adjusted my cheeks and lips to a smiling position. I think I look better smiling than sulking. I shall heed the Lord's advice and find joy even when it is tough at times. :)

Anyway, I shall end here. This weekend is basically filled up with wedding photography assignments for a brother-in-Christ's wedding. I am quite stressed by this as I always fear the pictures will not turn out fine. I pray the Lord will just help me along tomorrow and on Sunday.

Well, thanks be to God for everything that happened today.

"The LORD your God is testing you to find out whether you love him with all your heart and with all your soul. It is the LORD your God you must follow, and him you must revere. Keep his commands and obey him; serve him and hold fast to him." Deuteronomy 13:3b-4

Relationships Matter!

Today I have learnt a few lessons pertaining to handling relationships with my friends. This afternoon I reconciled with a dear brother-in-Christ for the heated email I sent the day before when I was feeling frustrated and disappointed regarding a matter I needed to look into and felt I was being rushed. I was humbled that this dear brother took the initiative to apologise for any misunderstandings caused when I should be the one to do so since I reacted quite negatively. He even volunteered to help me in the fact-finding process - I am truly touched by his kindness and willingness to help a brother in need.

The lesson I learnt in the above-mentioned is that when there is a friction between two parties, it is vital to put aside pride and choose reconciliation. This will then allow both parties to move on and see how they can deal with the differences. This is also a mature approach to resolving conflicts. It pleases God too.

Conflict stalls relationships; Reconciliation develops them!

I also learnt something pertaining to my blogs especially when I share about people. Just as much as I find no wrong in writing about them, not every one is always comfortable being mentioned in a public forum. I have been insensitive and ignorant and I apologise to those whom I have offended. It will not happen again and I will be more careful next time.

The lesson I learnt here is probably not to be too overly-excited in what I write to the point where I fail to be sensitive to the feelings of others. I pray the Lord will guide me as I overcome this shortcoming of my life.

I had dinner with two friends. I realised my communication skills especially to someone new are still very lacking. Though those who know me usually see me being quite talkative but when there is someone new I always get tongue-tied as to what to say or do. Just as much as I would like to make the person comfortable, talking too much or too little may make him or her uncomfortable too.

What did I learn from this? Well, I guess I need to have a balance of both and not always pressure myself that I have to be the one doing the talking or making the person comfortable. It is important but it must not, at the end of it all, render me ineffective. Well, I hope the Lord will teach me regarding this.

As mentioned in some of my previous blogs, there are still a lot of things that I am learning in my life - I hope in the process of doing so, my friends will bear with me and grant me grace at times when I still fail.

Well, there were a few other things I did throughout the whole of yesterday but I shall leave them as that.

Mum vomitted once in the middle of the night before. I was awoken when I saw the light from my parents' room. I cleaned her and also gave her some medications to soothe the nauseous feeling. After doing all that I could not sleep further no matter how I tossed and turned. I guess I was anxious for mum. Anyway, I am thankful to God that she did not vomit anymore throughout the whole of yesterday.

When I came home she was already asleep. I hope she will have a good and peaceful rest.

I shall stop here too.

Thanks be to God for the many lessons I learnt.

"Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates correction is stupid." Proverbs 12:1

"Pride only breeds quarrels, but wisdom is found in those who take advice." Proverbs 13:10

"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace." Ephesians 4:2-3

Wake The Giant In Us

I was taking the North-East Line from my place to town when I saw Pastor Michael in the train. I wrote about him before - as in how he offered me lozenges when I was coughing in the train a couple of months ago. He also goes around the island to give tuition to needy students and he carries a huge dictionary everywhere he goes. He also reaches out to poor families.

Well, when I saw him just now, he was still carrying the dictionary; still very well-dressed - in his long-sleeved shirt and tie; he still has his box of lozenges - when I was clearing my throat, again he whipped out the box and offered me one lozenges. I decided to approach this interesting elderly man as I was curious to know a few things about him. I hardly meet Pastor Michael so when I chanced upon him, I could not let this opportunity slip by.

I asked this kind gentleman why is it that he does not want to just rest since he has retired from the pastoral ministry? He told me that there is no such thing as retirement. He said so long as he still has the means to travel and do things independently, he will continue to serve the Lord and His people. He also told me one day should he become immobile, as long as he can still speak, he will want to continue doing God's work.

Then I followed up with another question, why is it that he is giving tuition and helping needy families instead of other activities that he could have done? He mentioned this point which kind of hit me and it was thought-provoking. He said as a Christian, our ministry is not about reaching out to fellow Christians but to the pre-Christians out there who need God more than those who have already known Him. He then justified that he is not saying it is not important to reach out to the congregation of the church but it is more crucial to bring the pre-Christians to Christ because time is not in our hands. He then asked me - "What will happen to these people if Christ were to come tomorrow?" Then he went on to share that so long as he can reach out, he will do so.

I alighted at Dhoby Ghaut MRT station while Pastor Michael went on with his train-ride to Outram MRT station. As I was walking to the North-South Line, I was just thinking to myself - "If every Christian can be like Pastor Michael, many more would have come to know the Lord; many more who are broken-hearted would have experienced the love of God; many more would have found hope."

I think it is time for Christians to be more outward-looking than inward-looking. It is time to live out what Christ has commanded us to do. It is time, especially in this world full of war, hatred, strife, struggles, poverty, hurt, etc, that light be brought forth in the many lives still unreached, still in darkness.

Pastor Michael chose to make a difference. How about me? How about you? Let us wake up the giant that God has created us to be and start making an impact.

"My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you. Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it—he will be blessed in what he does. If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless. Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." James 1:19-27

Don't Worry; Be Happy

At 9am I brought mum for her treatment. She was running a slight fever after that but the nurse sponged her forehead. She felt better and was allowed to go home. I prepared lunch for my parents and grandma before heading for church. Got a call from dad that mum vomitted twice after she had her lunch.

I was doing my devotion along the corridor of the hospital and today I have been reminded to be joyful always. When I woke up this morning and because of the lack of sleep I had, I was quite grumpy. I was not looking forward to the day as well because of mum's radiotherapy. As I was praying on my bed, the Lord just told me to be joyful. From then on I was just thinking about this word.

I think it is good to be joyful always even in affliction because then we are reminded that trials and struggles we face are not bad but they are there to build us up in the faith and also in character. This is not about positive thinking but usually we learn most during bad times than good because for the latter we tend to take things for granted. As humans, we usually see struggles as bad because it is a lousy feeling and always a drag having to deal with them. It can sometimes be time-consuming and energy-sapping. But if we look at all these with a positive attitude, it is a good experience afterall. It brings us down for a moment but it also allows us to look up and know that there is God by our side to lead and teach us.

I am now in the church office and have been here since noon. I have been busy with a couple of things. What I learnt as mentioned above was put to a test in two incidents I faced. In one of them, I guess I passed but in the other, I kind of failed.

I was helping my dear friend to secure a good deal for her air ticket and also for her mum and sister who will be travelling with her. When I called the first few travel agencies, I did not get very good news from them as I was told many flights have been fully booked as her date of travel next month is considered as super-peak period due to the summer holidays in Europe. The prices are also considerably higher than usual. I started to panick and was also a little discouraged. It did not help when the customer service of some of these agencies were below par.

Anyway, I stopped for a moment and decided to spend some time in prayer. I asked the Lord to provide for me in the next few calls that I was to make. I know He would not disappoint me as I was really at my wit's end, trying to secure the three seats. I also know that He would not disappoint my friend because since He has given her the chance to study overseas, surely He would provide her the air ticket to travel to the country of study as well. That gave me a lot of peace.

After I closed my prayer, I resumed making enquiries with the rest of the agencies I listed and guess what, the subsequent three that I called gave me hope because they told me there are seats available but limited. Small hiccups here and there as in the dates of the intended departure did not coincide with the flights that were available. Pricing was also a factor. As I went along, I continued praying. Finally one of the agencies got back to me and they offered a reasonable price for the three air tickets and the dates were also suitable for my friend and her family members. We quickly got the agency staff to make a tentative booking. Then a call from another agency came and offered a better price but all three have to be placed on the waiting list. Well, I requested for the agency staff to try securing the seats by a certain date. I shall pray that the Lord will provide a way in this.

Well, God is truly good that when I needed Him the most and was quite discouraged, He provided a way out. Hallelujah!

The other incident I felt I have failed was about the matter that I need to handle pertaining to the Missions Ministry. As the leadership needed a closure to this matter, I felt pressured to provide a quick report on this. Of course it is easier said than done due to new developments in the course of the fact-finding. I was quite discouraged and in replying to one of the emails sent to me, I sort of shared my frustrations and disappointments. Well, as I look back on this now, I felt I could have dealt with this in a more positive manner. I guess this is one area of my life that I am still learning to overcome.

Well, time for me to stop - need to attend a prayer meeting soon.

To God be the glory and thanks be to Him for all that He had provided. :)

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Every Day Is An Adventure

I decided to come to Ngee Ann City Coffee Bean to do some reading and also to blog a little. This morning mum vomitted three times and again felt a little giddy. After tending to her and cooking lunch for the family I decided to go out and catch a breather. I need that once in a while as I cannot deny that it can be quite stressful having to handle the matters of the household. It is not that I find it a drag but for my own good, I need to be away from it for a while so that I can compose and refresh myself. This will then allow me to carry on from where I left off.

My chest is still congested and a little painful - maybe it is a symptom of an imminent heart attack. Well, if the discomfort still persist, I shall go see the doctor when I send mum for her fourth radiotherapy session tomorrow. My knee is also giving me a lot of problems but at least I can still walk - need to put on the brace though.

It is now another new month and it is the second half of the year already. Time really flies. I was just reading through my journal and blogs - I must confess it has been a very tiring and stressful period especially at home. Before I go on, again I give praise to God for sustaining me through the past 30 days or so. If not for His grace and strength through His Word and prayers, I would have burnt out long time ago.

Four main things have been in my mind for the past month or so - one being my family where mum and grandma have not been well. It was discouraging and sad when I heard about mum's cervical cancer. For a short while I was questioning God why is this always happening to me as in all these physical struggles that my family has to go through but then I have stopped doing so. Again I was reminded that God has His purposes and I shall let His will be done in my life and in my family. I felt helpless too when grandma was groaning in pain when her shingles acted up badly. I could not sleep during those few days as I was there to comfort her, to let her know that it would soon come to past and that she should continue to trust God to heal her. When her pain goes away occasionally I would pray with her and I thank God that helped. I still have trouble sleeping every night. Once in a while I would just wake up suddenly and start wondering wondering mum and grandma are okay. I would then walk to their rooms and check. Well, so long as they are okay, this lack of sleep does not matter.

I have a thanksgiving during this trying period though - I think the bond amongst my family members are closer now (especially mum, dad and grandma). We have been praying much and there is this sense of hope in us that God will make all things beautiful in His time. My only concern is for my brother but I will continue to pray for him that one day the Lord will help him understand why the rest of us pray so much and believe in this God whom we have committed our lives to.

The second thing that has been in my mind was about what I shared in yesterday's blog about my commitment in church. Just as much as I love to serve the Lord and His people, I realised I can only do that much as my human strength is limited. I pray He will grant me the discernment to know which areas of ministries I should continue with and which ones to release. I am still seeking Him in this and I am thankful that He has given me this timely reminder. I realised I have not given my all in the main area of my ministry which is missions. I think I should focus on that and perhaps be involved in another ministry, which probably will be the youths. I will serve as a support for the Youth Ministry and I pray God can use me to bridge the gap between the adults and the youths.

The third thing in my mind is about the scholarship. I have not heard from the panel yet and it has been almost two weeks since I went for my final interview. Well, just as much as I am not too bothered by it, it still does, to a certain extent, as it would affect my plans at least for the next few months. Well, I cannot do anything for now - shall leave it as that.

I shall keep the fourth thing confidential for now - it is a constant struggle but I am letting the Lord lead and guide me accordingly. When the time is ripe I shall share about it. It is a burden I have to carry for now. I am taking it one step at a time.

Well, I do not know what this new month has for me - I believe it will not be that bad as it would be an adventure. The question is whether I am willing to go through it and learn something from it. A new chapter of my pilgrim's journey which is slowly unfolding. I shall share about it as the days progress.

This morning, I received a call from a dear brother. He asked whether I could be his wedding coordinator. I gladly accepted his request as it is always an honour to help my siblings-in-Christ who have made a commitment to share their lives together in marriage. I just pray the Lord will guide me so that I can help them have a memorable time of their lives. Last Sunday I also got another request from a brother and sister-in-Christ who are getting married at the end of this year. I accepted it too but when I checked my schedules I realised I have another wedding to plan the following day. Two weddings back-to-back. It is new to me but I shall take up the challenge. May the Lord be my help and strength. I think I would be exhausted after everything is over. Well, it is alright. Weddings only come once in a couple's lives - shall do my best to help them enjoy and cherish the moments. :)

Well, I shall end here. Long sharing. God is good all the time and all the time, God is good.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you." Jeremiah 29:11-12

"He has made everything beautiful in its time." Ecclessiastes 3:11a

Am I Committed?

Today has been a rather stressful day. I needed to be in church to look into a matter pertaining to the Missions Ministry. As I did my research on it, I found out more and more things which require my attention and action. I am quite clueless as to how to deal with them - still seeking the Lord to lead and guide me in this area. I also need the discernment to handle it in the most sensitive way.

I did not plan to go to church but because of the above-mentioned, I had to make a trip down. Well, though it was quite a headache checking past datas and all, I also had fun fellowshipping with the church staff - once in a while joking with one another. That released a bit of the pressure in me. Praise the Lord.

I initially planned to run some errands for myself and a dear friend in the afternoon. I managed to do it after church though. By the time I reached home I was totally exhausted.

My chest feels rather congested today, even now. I hope it will be fine after a night's rest.

Anyway, I have been thinking about this word, "Commitment," the whole of today. I have been asking myself how have I been committed to God, family, friends, ministries and work. I realised sometimes I am doing too many things to the point where I am like butter being spread out too thinly on a slice of bread. At the end of the day, I am unable to give my best in what I do.

I think it is vital for me to sit down and start re-evaluating where God wants me to go and what He wants me to do especially in church. Two main areas I have a burden for - one is in missions and the other in the youths. Though I serve in the Worship and Music Ministry too, my passion in that area is not as deep as the two I just mentioned. I still love to worship-lead and play the drums though.

Well, I guess I cannot be a jack of all trades, master of none. To me, commitment is like a marriage where I give 100% to only one lady I love. If I start having more than one, then I cannot truly love that woman I initially committed myself to. To make that final decision to whom I want to marry, it has to go through a process of reflecting and seeking. It is during this period that I confirm my love for her and then after move on to spend our lives together.

I hope the analogy above makes sense. Being sure of where God wants me to go and do also prevents me from falling into the danger of burn-out! A person who is called by God is continually being renewed spiritually, physically, emotionally and mentally as he serves Him but a person who is driven can only go that far and when his resources are depleted, he falls away and stop serving.

I am thankful God gave me this timely warning - I shall spend the next few days pondering on this.

Mum is feeling better and her rashes are easing up. I hope the Lord will continue to give her the strength she needs and the hope to keep her going.

Okie, I shall end here for now. Thanks be to God for sustaining me through this hot and humid day.

"His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires. For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins. Therefore, my brothers, be all the more eager to make your calling and election sure. For if you do these things, you will never fall, and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ." 1 Peter 1:3-11

"Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not men, because you know that the Lord will reward everyone for whatever good he does, whether he is slave or free." Ephesians 6:7-8

Do Not Be Possessed By Possessions!

I am very tired now but did not have the chance yet to really rest except for a power-nap I took while waiting for a meeting to commence this afternoon. I am still sleepy - I hope after finishing this blog, I will be able to go to bed early tonight.

I was unable to blog last night as I was at a dear brother's 21st Birthday Party. By the time I came home it was already past midnight. I had to dress up as a school-boy as it was a theme-party. I felt so awkward to be in uniform again. Looking at the photos I took while editing them for the birthday-boy, I was quite horrified when I saw myself. :)

Anyway, it was fun because it reminded myself of how messy I was when I was in primary school; how I carried my bag with the sling over my forehead; how I need to always wash my school-shoes everyday because they would be dirty since I had to go into the drain to catch fish; how my shirt pocket would tear each time I got myself in fights.

It was also nice to see the rest of my siblings-in-Christ dressed up - some in school uniforms; some in punk-rockers' outfits; some in cartoon characters' costumes. Interesting to see them being so sporting!

This morning I am thankful to God for the message preached during the service. Lately the Lord has been teaching me on stewardship and today's sermon helped me overcome some of the doubts I have about giving (not just in monetary form but basically anything I might want to offer to another person). It also confirmed that I should just give when God moves me to and not be bothered by other factors.

I have been warned against three dangers pertaining to this word "Covetousness." It means "reprehensible acquisitiveness"; "insatiable desire for wealth and possessions"; "possessed by possessions"; "greed." He also offerd a solution to each of them.

The first danger is against the Spirit of Poverty where one has the feeling of always not having enough. The solution is to have Contentment where one should be happy for what he has and live according to his means.

The second danger is against the Spirit of Insecurity where one has the need to prove that he is somebody by the things he possessed. The solution is to have Confidence especially finding our worth in Christ and not in our possessions. He also warned against arrogance where sometimes we tend to show off our wealth.

The third danger is against the Sprit of Insignificance where one has the need to prove that he is better than others by having more. The solution is to practice Charity. In doing so it reminds us simply that what we have is from God and not by our mere effort. We are also not to hoard our wealth but to use them to bless others.

I have no qualms confessing that I sometimes fall into these traps but lately God is teaching me to give more so that others can be blest. I am also learning to be happy with what I have in terms of my possessions and not covet for more when what I now own is enough to see me through the basic needs of my daily living.

Well, it is not going to be easy practising being contented, confident and charitable but with God's help, I hope to learn and put to action the above lesson.

Today the church commemorates Youth Sunday. The Youth Ministry took over the services. I was involved with the 11:15am service and I thank God for every of these young lives He used. They led in the praise and worship - one served as a worship leader; four played in the band; at least eight formed the choir; a couple of them did ushering; and one took care of the projection.

Every one of the above-mentioned did well and I believe the Lord is pleased with their services. Well, I pray He will continue to use them mightily.

I slept around 4am editing the photos, burning them onto a CD-R and then I had to do the designs on it. I had to wake up early so that I could join the Youth Worship Team for a time of prayer and rehearsal. As I had some time, I detoured to NTUC Supermarket to buy some fruits for my dear friend who is having a sore throat. Thank God I managed to find some starfruits.

My knee is still bad but I am thankful to God for allowing me to endure the pain.

Anyway, time to stop blogging and start sleeping.

To God be the glory for today!

"Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work." 2 Corinthians 9:6-8

"Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life." 1 Timothy 6:17-19

"You may say to yourself, "My power and the strength of my hands have produced this wealth for me." But remember the LORD your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth, and so confirms his covenant, which he swore to your forefathers, as it is today." Deuteronomy 8:17-18

"Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." So we say with confidence, "The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?" Hebrews 13:5-6

"But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs." 1 Timothy 6:6-10