This morning when I was spending some time in quiet along the Singapore River where Clarke Quay is, praying and reading God's Word, I was prompted to consider the commitments I have in church. The sense I got was that I am doing too much and that I need to cut down.
Well, what are my commitments in church? I am the chairperson of the Missions Committee; I am in the Local Church Executive Committee (LCEC) (of course this is by default since I am the chairperson of a ministry); I am in two accountability groups; I am involved in the Youth Ministry (YM); I am a Worship Leader of the 11:15am service; I play the drums in the band; and I am a photographer of the Communications Ministry.
When I listed the above-mentioned, I almost could not breathe as I did not realise I am over-committing. It is scary to suddenly realise this because for a while I have been doing and doing and never stopping to reflect and evaluate.
I prayed about it and deep down in my heart, I know which ones I am just doing for the sake of them. The weakness in me is that I always think I should be the one filling in the gaps because some of these ministries are short of people but if I keep doing this, then I am not allowing others who are not serving to step up.
I was reminded I cannot be the 'saviour' of the world and in this context, the church.
I have already indicated to the band leader that I will be stepping down as a drummer after the March roster. Now I have also decided to let go of my role as a Worship Leader though I have not mentioned this to the Worship and Music chairperson. You see, being involved in this ministry also requires the person to attend a time of feeding of God's Word pertaining to the area of worship and service. The fact that I have not been able to attend for the past few months actually speaks a lot of my commitment. To be fair to the rest who have been attending, I think I need to stop serving in this area for now. Another worrying sign related to this area of ministry is the lack of joy whenever I prepare for the worship session. Sometimes I do it grudgingly and it is not right to have this kind of attitude when service to God and the church should be one of joy and willingness.
There is, no doubt, a lack of worship leaders as one is already down because the dear sister is expecting a child but like I said, I cannot, because of that, fill in gaps.
I have also decided to let go of my role as a photographer in the Communications Ministry. Yes, I like photography but interest is different from doing it as a commitment. In fact I have not given my all in this area and again this is not fair to the coordinator of this ministry.
I am not relinquishing my role as the chairperson for the Missions Ministry as it is not time yet. I feel I can still contribute to this area of service. I also want to assist in the YM as my heart has always been for the youths. I am continuing with the accountability groups too as it is important for me to account my life to a few of my brothers-in-Christ. I may let go of one eventually but not now.
Well, these are my thoughts for now.
It has been a long day at work. I came back not too long ago from a rehearsal for this Saturday's wedding service that I am leading for two of my dear siblings-in-Christ. After that I had supper with two ex-coursemates from university.
Thanks be to God for sustaining me till now. Time to sleep. Another day of adventure awaits me. :)
"Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen." 1 Peter 4:10-11
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