Friday, December 01, 2006

Fragile - Handle With Care

I was reminded of a precious lesson yesterday afternoon when I was spending some time with the Lord in quiet at church.

It brought to my attention that friendship or relationship in general can be fragile and I need to handle it with care. I cannot take for granted that once it has been built, everything will be stable and that it will grow stronger and stronger.

I learnt once again that it has to be maintained and cultivated. It is a tough process but that is what relationship is about.

In the days when I was a youth and young adult, I lost a couple of friends because I took it for granted that everything will be alright once I know the person up to a certain level. Then when our friendship was tested, it failed and now I have lost communication with them completely.

I lost one of my closest friends whom I shared my life with so deeply when we were serving the Lord together in church. We did things together in university, went out, prayed together several times, joked with each other, etc. We were the bestest of friends, along with another brother but suddenly, my friendship with him just broke apart and I have lost a dear brother. Even during his wedding, I was not invited. Till this day, I still do not know exactly why it happened but it definitely hurt. Initially I was bitter against that brother and he was probably bitter against me too but I have released those bitterness and pain. Sometimes I still pray that God will bring about reconciliation and I hope the day will come.

I confess that several times, I have failed as a friend to another because of my shortcomings. I have also experienced hurt caused by my other friends.

I guess it takes two hands to clap and this should be applied in any relationship.

If there is hurt, one should learn to forgive; if there is any wrong-doing, one should learn to correct; if there is any flaw, one should learn to accept the person as who he is but at the same time run alongside him as he overcomes his weaknesses. Both parties must always attempt to work at the friendship.

Not long ago, I wrote this phrase, "A Christian relationship does not involve only two parties but three - one human at each end with God in the middle to bind them together in Godly love."

I have to admit that even now as I write this, there are a couple of friends whom I am struggling with. I really do not wish to lose them and it is my prayer that God will help us. I have lost enough friends (due to my carelessness and ignorance and at times arrogance) and I do not wish to lose any more.

I hope I will learn to be a better friend to another. I also hope that should I fail them at times, my friends will give me a chance to learn and allow me to build on the friendship from there.

This, I guess, is one of the harder tasks in my pilgrim's journey. God be my help and guide.

"Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." Ecclesiastes 4:12

"If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Ecclesiastes 4:10

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