Guarding Of The Tongue

I am very sleepy but I am pressing on as I am doing two things now - typing this blog and watching Liverpool's match against Tottenham Hotspurs. The Reds are leading by one goal to nil! Yay! Go! Liverpool! You'll Never Walk Alone! :)

Anyway, yesterday had been a great day but I think too much eating for me throughout. I had brunch with my God-sister in Toa Payoh. At around 2pm, I went to another gathering for the leaders of the Youth Ministry (YM). Well, I ate so much there - I am still full though it is already past midnight. :)

In between brunch with my God-sister and the gathering for the YM leaders, I was in Bishan Junction 8 to check out some stuff at the shopping centre. It was here I met a dear sister-in-Christ from another church.

While I was talking to her, my PDA-Phone dropped from the holder and I basically mouthed the word, "SHIT!" She remarked that I should not use such unedifying words. I apologised to her for having said that.

Anyway, just now when I was reflecting through the day, I realised how hypocritical I have been because during the preparation for the Youth Camp earlier this month, I rebuked some youth leaders by urging them not to use unedifying words like shit, oh my God, damn, cock, etc.

Now I am using it myself. I have to be very careful not to use such words because the very tongue I used to mouth these words is also used to praise God - how can this be? It just does not make any sense! Moreover, what happens if a younger or weaker sibling-in-Christ were to hear it? I would have stumbled him or her.

Many times we feel that it is okay to use such words (because everyone else seems to be using them) but if we want to remain holy and godly in our daily walk with God, then such practices need to be put to a stop. It is tough but I will strife to build the body rather than to tear it down because of my carelessness.

I praise the Lord for the rebuke from my sister-in-Christ! I pray the Lord will cleanse my mouth and control my tongue so that what comes out of it will be for the glory of His name and the edification of the Body of Christ.

10 more minutes and the match will be over. Cannot wait to sleep soon as I have to play the drums later at the combined service. Long day ahead and wow, today is the last day of the year 2006. Time really flies! I shall write more on my reflection of this year soon.

Praise the Lord for this beautiful day!

"Not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check. When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. Can both fresh water and saltwater flow from the same spring? My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water." James 3:1-11

It Is God Whom We Are Serving!

I pray as I type this blog that I will not fall into a sin of being judgmental. It was more of a disappointment than anything else that I feel a need for it to be addressed.

I am also guilty of this occasionally but it is time that every servant of God needs to reflect and be careful about.

In all our service to Him, how many times have we failed to remember that it is God whom we are serving? And it is not just an ordinary God we serve; every Christian in his or her ministry serves an Almighty God - Creator of heaven and earth; the beginning (Alpha) and the end (Omega)!

I was involved in the worship team rehearsal tonight and this Sunday I am playing the drums. Initially everything went on pretty smoothly but as it proceeded on, things became messy. Members of the team became quite distracted. Everyone was not in sync with one another. The team just went on from one song to another when we knew that certain songs needed to be worked on further. When we could not play properly one of the songs in the list, we just conveniently decided to chuck it. A member received a call from a friend and suddenly he told the team that he needs to leave early.

I am a perfectionist to a certain extent but I will not let this be used against me that I am being too rigid. There are times when I know I need to cool it and be gracious but there are also times when servants of God need to wake up their idea and attitude. When that happens, I will not just keep quiet and pretend that everything was okay.

If one has committed himself to serve the Lord for that particular week, then he should give his all to serve Him. If other things crop up, it should not take precedence of his initial commitment unless it is an emergency that involves life and death.

Moreover this is a team that will be encouraging the congregation to worship the Lord in spirit and in truth. If the members themselves are not practising it, who are we to tell others to do so? It is just so hypocritical!

Anyway, I pray on Sunday that everything will fall in place through the grace and guidance of God. I also pray that God will guide my thoughts and actions because I also have my weaknesses and shortcomings.

Well, I pray the name of the Lord be glorified as the church come together to worship Him on Sunday!

I shall go sleep soon.

May the Lord forgive me if I have sinned in what I have written above.

N.B. - The next time we serve in the various ministries, let us think about Whom we are serving. He deserves more respect. Service is not about us but God!

"Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth." John 4:23-24

"But be very careful to keep the commandment and the law that Moses the servant of the LORD gave you: to love the LORD your God, to walk in all his ways, to obey his commands, to hold fast to him and to serve him with all your heart and all your soul." Joshua 22:5

"Now fear the LORD and serve him with all faithfulness. Throw away the gods your forefathers worshiped beyond the River and in Egypt, and serve the LORD. But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD." Then the people answered, "Far be it from us to forsake the LORD to serve other gods!" Joshua 24:14-16

"Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not men..." Ephesians 6:7

The Still Small Voice Always Triumphs!

I left work early and proceeded to the heart of Shenton Way to enquire about some banking matters. It was an educational time as I visited about 5 different banks to find out about a particular service which I thought they are offering but it was not to be.

Then I headed for Plaza Singapura to buy some things and also to get my lunch. I was on my way to church when I decided to consolidate all the receipts of my purchases. As I was running through every single one of them, I noticed a discrepancy on one receipt.

The price of the product, I remembered clearly, was s$13.90, but on the NETS receipt it printed only S$3.90. When I noticed the mistake, the train was just one stop away from where I was supposed to alight.

Then the battle of the mind began - one side screamed for me to proceed on with my journey and head for church but the other side gently told me to do the right thing by alighting the train, take the next one on the opposite line and head back to the shop. I was hungry at the time of my struggle - I guess the side that was screaming at me was my rumbling stomach. Haha.

I knew I needed to do the right thing and it was off to Plaza Singapura again.

The side that wanted me to ignore the matter was still making a lot of noises - "Why so stupid to head back to where you came from?" "S$10 is not much but still can buy three packets of chicken rice!" "It is going to rain - why so stupid to get caught in it and be all wet?!"

Trust me, those noises were really loud but I ignored them and proceeded on to the shop. I reported the discrepancy to the salesperson who attended to me and she was surprised by the mistake made. She thanked me for my honesty and because of that I got a 10% discount for the item I bought. Haha. S$1.39 off the actual price.

Then the noises came back again - "Go all the way back to the shop to report the mistake and in the end got only 10% discount?! Stupid!" "Now you have to spend an extra S$1.30 for the train ride back to where you were supposed to go. S$1.39 (for the discount received) minus S$1.30 equals S$0.09! What's the point?! What can S$0.09 buy? Not even a piece of chicken! At least S$10 can buy three packets of chicken rice!"

It sounded too much of an inconvenience to do what I did but when I gave thanks to God for giving me the courage to do what is pleasing in His sight, the noises just left except for those in my tummy. Haha.

Though it was S$10, I knew I could not just pretend nothing happened because the God whom I am worshipping is omnipresent (everywhere) and if I had chosen to ignore the matter, next time when I see Him again, the issue would still be brought to my attention and I have to account to Him then.

Well, it felt good after that. When I arrived at the church office, I happily opened my Subway sandwich and had a great time chomping it!

Thanks be to God for His still small voice. That gentle tone of His still triumphs over the loud noises of the evil one and the flesh! Hallelujah! God 1 - Devil 0!

"Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful." Joshua 1:7-8

"All a man's ways seem right to him, but the LORD weighs the heart. To do what is right and just is more acceptable to the LORD than sacrifice." Proverbs 21:2-3

Grace Or Disgrace

Today I have not been really gracious to the people around me. There was this sense of frustration in me which kind of affected my reaction towards people.

I was made to wait for an hour in an appointment with someone in the morning. The person thought that the time of meet was 10am when it was supposed to be 9am. It was an honest mistake on her part but while I was waiting, I allowed negative thoughts to get the better of me. Hence my reaction towards her was one of anger.

Then the rain came in the afternoon. Though I did write in one of my previous blogs that I need to give thanks for everything including rain, today it got on my nerves. The past few days of constant downpours have created a lot of inconveniences for me and I believe others too (several of my clothes I washed are still damp; I have to carry an umbrella everywhere I go; the lower part of my jeans or trousers always get wet; my shoes too and it can be really uncomfortable when it has to be worn almost throughout the day; etc).

When I was about to cross the road under the rain, there was this youth in front of me who was blocking my path. I got quite irked because I wanted to get out of the rain as soon as I can. I kind of raised my voice and it scared him a little and he apologised. I could not be bothered and walked on.

When I was writing my journal just now, I realised what I have done throughout the day have created stumbling blocks to people around me. When I confessed to God my sins and sought His forgiveness, there was this sense of shame in me that I allowed circumstances rather than God affect my life and actions.

Well, a hitch in my pilgrim's journey but a progress too for I am thankful to God for humbling me today and teaching me to let Him take control of my life and not anything else around and in me.

It will take a while for me to overcome this but I will press on to do so.

"Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone." Colossians 4:5-6

Truth Or Lie

Lately I feel I am doing too many things and because of that, it kind of affected my commitment level in those areas that I need to focus on.

Just as much as I would like to be as involved as I can in as many places as possible, in the long run, I know I will burn out eventually. I am already beginning to sense it and I need to start letting go of certain things so as to get my life in order again.

The above-mentioned is already causing me to affect people when they see me so distracted with so many things - in the end, instead of being a ministry to these people, I become a stumbling block.

Well, I guess this is one aspect of my pilgrim's journey that I need to constantly remind myself to review and react accordingly.

I am so happy that my friend likes the Adidas Classic Polo-Tee that I changed for her. Initially I got her a black T-Shirt of the same brand for her birthday but in my heart, I knew that was not something she would really like (as the neckline was a little lower than a usual tee). I had no choice but to buy it anyway as it was the best of all the items I saw in the shop at that time.

Then on the day when we went out to have dinner together to celebrate her birthday, we saw this Polo-Tee that I knew she would definitely love and it was confirmed when she said so herself. Anyway, we left it as it was.

A couple of days later, I passed the same Adidas shop and saw the Polo-Tee again. The salesperson asked me whether I wanted to buy it but I said I was not. It was at that time I realised maybe I could exchange the black T-Shirt for the Polo-Tee. I enquired with the salesperson and she said I could do it within 30 days of purchase.

I suggested the idea to my friend and she was very keen about it. The only thing was that she had worn it once and had it washed but she still had all the tag and plastic cover. The T-Shirt was almost as good as new.

Two days ago I went to have the item changed but I struggled whether to tell the salesperson that the T-Shirt has been worn once already. One part said just keep quiet and have it changed quickly but the other part urged me to tell the truth.

In the end, I chose the latter after I prayed for the Lord to give me the courage. Two things could have happened when I made the decision to tell the truth: one is that the shop would not allow me to exchange and I have no choice but to return the black T-Shirt to my friend; two is that it would be allowed.

I was prepared to have my request rejected but to my surprise the salesperson agreed to change for me though I informed him about the T-Shirt having been worn already.

Well, I praise the Lord for giving me the guts to tell the truth and in the end, feeling good about it. I hope I will continue to practise this throughout my journey here on earth.

Okay, I shall end here. Very sleepy. :)

Good night to one and all!

"Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor..." Ephesians 4:25a

Live Today Because Tomorrow May Never Come

26th December will always be a date that many will remember for several years to come. It was two years ago this day that close to 176,000 lives were lost to the tsunami.

No one expected it but when the giant waves came, no warnings were given and many were caught by surprise. Waters swallowed up helpless individuals while there were some who clinged on to anything they could grab hold of.

On that day, many were going through their routines (running their businesses, going to work, fishing out at sea; etc); some were still celebrating Christmas; while there were yet others who were just having fun by the beaches; several were either having their breakfast or still sleeping. Some probably died without even knowing what happened exactly.

From laughter it turned to mourning - families of victims had to collect the bodies of their loved ones; many were and are still waiting for those whose bodies, till today, remain missing.

Today there was a strong earthquake in Taiwan measuring 7.2 on the Richter Scale. A tsunami alert were sent across the region and a 1m high wave is expected to hit The Philippines soon. Nobody knows how many lives have been and will be taken.

Heavy rains poured down on Singapore today; last week heavier downpours were experienced - flooded many places and damaged numerous properties. In Malaysia and Indonesia, lives were lost.

26 December is a day of remembrance for many. It is also a day to remind me not to take my life for granted and to live it as if today was to be my last.

It is ok to plan for my future but over-planning is unrealistic because tomorrow my life may just be taken away.

I guess it is important to learn to thank God when I experience sunrise every morning and sunset every evening. This speaks of His grace and mercy upon my life.

I should also learn to be contented with what I have - if there is rain, thanks be to God; if the weather gets too dry and hot, thanks be to Him too; if I do not own what others have, big deal, praise be to Jesus; if I find my parents or brother or grandmother irritating, praise the Lord! (at least I still have them to irritate me).

Well, I do not know exactly what tomorrow holds - so long as I get to experience today, that is more than enough. Some did not even have the chance to go through today because yesterday was their last.

"And he told them this parable: "The ground of a certain rich man produced a good crop. He thought to himself, 'What shall I do? I have no place to store my crops.' "Then he said, 'This is what I'll do. I will tear down my barns and build bigger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods. And I'll say to myself, "You have plenty of good things laid up for many years. Take life easy; eat, drink and be merry." "But God said to him, 'You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?' "This is how it will be with anyone who stores up things for himself but is not rich toward God." Luke 12:16-21

God Protects!

I want to start off the day thanking God for protecting a very dear friend of mine.

She was driving to my place to pass me something this morning, just slightly past 12am, when her car met with an accident. It involved 3 vehicles and hers was sandwiched between the two.

The front and back were quite bashed up but what I am grateful to God for is that my friend is ok. Her neck area was slightly sore but I just got a message from her that it is better now. Thanks be to God.

Truly, God protects and I praise Him once again that she is okay. Hallelujah! God is good; and His love endures forever!

"But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you. For surely, O LORD, you bless the righteous; you surround them with your favor as with a shield." Psalm 5:11-12

Parable Of The Lost Remote-Controlled Helicopter

"There once lived a man. His name was Andy. He owned a tiny remote-controlled helicopter called Picoo-Z, given to him by one of his fellow colleagues during a Christmas gift-exchange activity. He loved it so much that he played with it every day.

He even brought it to a friend's Christmas Day gathering in this beautiful town called Bishan. His friend lived on the 33rd storey of a condominium.

Andy was eager to display his flying skills to everyone at the party. He started the engine of the helicopter. He increased the throttle of the rotor-blades and off the helicopter flew around his friend's residence.

Andy manoeuvred the machine with great skills - up and down, left and right it flew. He became so good that the helicopter flew out of the windows and down it went - 33rd storey..... 32nd storey...... 31st...... 30th...... 20th...... 10th...... 3rd...... 2nd...... 1st storey.

Because of his love for his machine, he rushed out of his friend's home, took the lift down and frantically searched for his lost helicopter. After 30 minutes, he still could not find it. Dejected he went up. When his friends asked, he sadly told them it could not be found.

Dissatisfied he was that Andy decided to go down again to look for the missing helicopter. He widened his search area but to no avail. Again he went up disappointed.

Two hours later, he did once more. Down he went and down he was because his search was futile.

Andy still has his beloved helicopter in mind, wondering where it could have gone.

This parable reminds us that God loves His children so much that everytime one goes astray, He will not give up His attempts to search for this lost child. He will keep trying till one day this child would be found - just like Andy's desire that one day his helicopter would come back to his side."

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16

Happy Birthday, Lord Jesus!!!

Lord Jesus, Happy Birthday to You!!! Thank You for coming to be amongst us and ultimately sacrificing Your life on the cross for our sins.

Friends, A God-Blessed & Merry Christmas to you!!! Thank you for all the gifts you have blest me with. I'm truly overwhelmed! :)

I am actually very tired but I have to press on to finish this blog because I want to share God's goodness to those who read my pilgrim's journey and progress.

I am thankful to God for giving me so much calmness when I led the Carols' Night. Everything, from the Psalm 100 choral presentation; to singing of carols; to the quiz; to the children's presentation; to the short message by brother Chong Hiok; and to the last carol, went smoothly.

I praise Him for rescuing me from just going through the motion in my service last evening if not for the time spent with my Lord yesterday when I was by the Marina Bay. Hallelujah! :)

A couple of persons from amongst the congregation committed their lives to God and I rejoice with the angels in heaven for these saved souls.

I was quite discouraged that my brother and his girlfriend could not come as they had to attend a client's party. I guess church party is still not the kind of gathering he is comfortable with.

Well, I am disappointed but as I told a dear friend of mine when I was talking to her about her dad and grandmother who are also not interested in Christianity - we need to continue to pray for these our loved ones and allow God to melt their hearts one day and believe that their lives will be saved by the blood of Christ!

I will keep praying for my brother and his girlfriend, for my friend's father and grandmother and everyone else whom I know are not followers of Christ.

Well, last night's experience for me basically reaffirmed in me that I serve a real and living, faithful and powerful God! I know for sure He will not fail me! :)

I guess it is time for me to key off now and head for bed!

Merry Christmas once again to one and all!!!

"Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved—you and your household." Acts 16:21

"I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life. This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him." 1 John 5:13-15

Be Still And Know That I Am God

Today I spent some time in quiet by the Marina Bay - not too long a retreat but just an hour of being all alone as I look out into the waters and marvel at the beauty of God's creation - looking at the skies, ships, boats and occasional aircrafts flying by.

It is amazing how just 60 minutes of being away from the hustle and bustle could bring times of refreshing to the soul. From all the busyness and anxieties that I have been going through the past one week or so, they were all but forgotten as I reflect on the Lord's goodness and greatness.

I basically shared with the Lord in prayer how suffocated I felt the past few days and how exhausted I was. I also poured out to Him the burdens of my heart; issues that I have to deal in the daily living of my life. After that I read a passage from the Bible and then just kept quiet and allowed God to speak.

One simple message I received - "Be still and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10a

It is THE message I need. I just need to be still and know that God is God. I am not God. I cannot make sure everything be in order tomorrow except God. I must remember that I am just an instrument.

I heaved a sigh of relief after I got the message above and I could feel a load of my shoulders almost immediately.

Well, all thanks and glory be to God! :)

Now I am looking forward to tomorrow and I hope to enjoy myself as much as I can celebrating the birth of the Christ-child.

"Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:28-31

The HEART of Worship is GOD! Not me.

It is now past 2am and I am still up as I had to do some preparations for this Sunday's Carols' Night. I praise the Lord the rehearsal last night for this event went pretty well though I am still not as confident as I wish I should.

During the practice, I was not satisfied with a few things: certain carols I felt the keys were too low; for others I felt the transition from one carol to another should have been smoother; there were yet a few where I felt it should have been livelier. Throughout I wanted this and that. At one point, I concluded that the whole atmosphere did not feel like it is Christmas. Complaints here; dissatisfaction there; God no where.

It was only towards the end of the rehearsal that I felt all the above-mentioned were not important at all. Where was the Heart of Worship? The words of this song (below) reminded me that it is God that matters and nothing else.

Verse 1:
When the music fades,
all is stripped away
and I simply come.
Longing just to bring
something that's of worth
that will bless Your heart.

Bridge:
I'll bring You more than a song,
for a song in itself
is not what You have required.
You search much deeper within
through the way things appear;
You're looking into my heart.

Chorus:
I'm coming back to the heart of worship
and it's all about You,
all about You, Jesus.
I'm sorry, Lord, for the things I've made it
when it's all about You,
all about You, Jesus.

Verse 2:

King of endless worth,
no one could express
how much You deserve.
Though I'm weak and poor,
all I have is Yours,
every single breath.

Well, I guess I can plan all I want as to how well a song is being played or sung but if it means nothing at all in my heart, then everything I did at the practice would have been in vain.

Was I afraid of what others would think of me if I sang the carols too low or slow? At the end of it all, the Carols' Night is not about me but the church singing praises to God for giving us the Christ-child.

I guess I was too conscious of myself and the circumstances that I failed to notice God almost throughout the session.

Well, the worship team has done all we could to prepare for this Sunday, the rest we just have to trust God to lead us accordingly. I hope that night, only God be glorified and no one else. I pray also that God be the focus and not the worship team.

To God be the glory!

"Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth." John 4:23-24

God Is Always In Control!

I came back with a burdened and troubled heart. Suddenly I feel inadequate and it has to do with my responsibility in having to lead the Carols' Night on 24 December, which is just two days from now.

I am unprepared and distracted - I do not have the desire to lead though there is another part of me that wants to. I guess I do not want to because I am totally not ready for this.

I am burdened basically because what I will be doing this coming Sunday deals with lives and if I do not handle this properly, I will open doors for the evil one to lay a foothold, not just in my life but also those in the worship team and congregation.

I have not been praying for the worship team and for those who will be attending. Just an hour ago, I did not even know who are in the team till I asked Tricia.

I got so scared that I asked her and my God-sister to pray for me.

My God-sister replied with a verse which I now find comfort in - "Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain." Psalm 127:1

God also reminded me of my favourite verses from Philippians 4:6-7 - "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

I praise the Lord for giving me peace and assurance from the above passages. I know He is still in control though I am losing control.

Even as I write this blog, it is my prayer that I now surrender what I am to do for 24 December to God and let Him use me accordingly.

I am also reminded now that if God is for me, who is going to be against me? I should not be afraid of the evil one laying a foothold because I have a God mightier than him. It should be God who will be laying a foothold on me and no one else.

I have to write this because this is one part of my life's journey which suddenly hit a curb and I have kind of lost control for a while, veering left and right dangerously.

Well, I do not know what to expect for this Sunday's Carols' Night - may the Lord give me discernment as I go forth in faith.

Oh yah, one answered prayer which I want to share - God healed my diarrhoea as of this morning. Last night, Tricia and a brother-in-Christ, Khang Chau, prayed for my food-poisoning case. I believe there were a few others who interceded for me too.

Well, the Lord answered their prayers and I am much better now. I have not purged yet but my tummy definitely feels comfortable now. Hallelujah! Thanks be to God for His miraculous healing power and the fellowship of believers through prayer!

I guess the last paragraph above gives me peace that God is still there for me and I will keep that in mind as I prepare for Sunday.

God is good all the time and all the time, God is good! :)

"But he (God) said to me (Paul), "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Broken-Hearted People

This morning I was at Suntec City to buy some chicken pies from Don's Pie. They are for the Youth Ministry Christmas Party which will be held very soon - about an hour's time.

As I was walking outside Tower 4 where there were some steel-chairs for the public, I noticed a young lady seated on one of them. She was sobbing. I was tempted to ask whether she was okay but I decided against it as I felt it was not too nice for a guy to do so. I said a prayer for her as I walked into the shopping centre. I hope the Lord has comforted her and that she is better now.

While I was in the taxi, on my way to church, I recalled several times seeing people crying quietly in public - yesterday while I was at Sheng Siong Supermarket in Little India, I saw this elderly Indian lady begging for money and she had tears in her eyes; while I was in the train a couple of days ago, I noticed another young girl whose tears kept flowing; last month while I was at Rochor Centre near Bugis Junction, an elderly man was walking along some shops and he too had tears in his eyes - hunched as he walked.

The above-mentioned are some examples of broken people living in an imperfect world. There are actually many more except that we have failed several times to notice these people.

I could have just gone to the young lady seated on the steel-chair and said to her, "Jesus loves you." Whether she accepts it or not, I think that should be the least of my concern. At least she could have known that there is someone out there who loves her despite of the circumstances she is in.

A follow up to what I wrote last night, this Christmas season, it is people like those I have just shared who needs Jesus most and it takes Christians like me to tell them about Him.

The next few days as you and I walk along the streets, notice the people we walk past. We might just see a person who is broken-hearted and if we do, pray for the person and if you dare take a step further, go to him or her and let the person know that Jesus loves him or her. I am going to do that and I may also want to invite him or her to the 24th December Christmas Eve Party in church. It is not too late to invite.

The gift of salvation we received when we accepted Jesus as our Lord and Saviour must go on to the next person who have yet to know Him. If we keep it to ourselves, then others will never ever get the chance to receive this gift.

I was reminded that it was someone who gave me the gift of Jesus that I have Him now in my life.

"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." Psalm 147:3

What Kind Of Gift Am I Giving This Christmas?

"Christmas isn't Christmas till it happens in your heart." How true that is.

I mentioned the first line of this song, "Christmas Isn't Christmas", because I have yet to feel excited about this day. In fact, I should be looking forward to it because it is the birth of my Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ!

Why is it then that I am not enthusiastic about Christmas yet? Several possible reasons:-

1) I was rather distracted by the holiday trip to Bangkok;

2) I have been unwell. On top of my stomach ulcer (which is better, by the way), I got food poisoning from the above trip and till now, I am still having diarrhoea though it is healing.

3) I am feeling exhausted physically - thought the Bangkok break would be a refreshing one but it was not to be.

4) I have some burdens in my heart which I am slowly learning to let God help me overcome them. Carrying them on my own is no joke.

Well, I thank God that He allowed me to reflect on the above-mentioned because on Christmas Eve night, I am leading the Carols' Night - part of the Christmas Project.

If Christmas has not happened in my heart, how then will I be able to encourage others to celebrate the birth of the Christ-child?

I prayed about this just now when I was at the Leaders' Prayer Meeting. On my way home, this word, "Simplicity" came to mind.

I guess I will not complicate this special day commemorating Jesus' birth by doing too many of the insignificant stuffs like running around buying gifts, being too involved in Christmas activities and being anxious about the above responsibility to lead the Carols' Night.

Sometimes all these become primary objectives when in actual fact, the season is all about this baby named Jesus whom God sent to us. Ultimately, He would carry out His task of carrying the cross to the hill of Golgotha where he would be crucified for the sins of all man.

I guess I want to lead a simple Christmas this year and I pray by doing so, God will show me precious insights of His Son.

Gifts have always been closely linked to Christmas. I have been giving to friends almost every year but this year, I want to give every one I know and even those I do not know the ultimate GIFT.

I basically want to give Jesus to people around me so that when Christmas is over, He will still remain close in the hearts of many.

During the prayer meeting tonight, my group prayed for those whom the church is inviting to the Christmas Project. I prayed for my brother, Alvin, and his girlfriend, Jocelyn. I hope to give Jesus to them this Christmas. I have invited them - the rest I will leave God to follow up on them.

Well, I pray the Lord will touch many lives this Christmas and I hope Christians, like me, will be the ones to present the GIFT to as many as possible.

"For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace." Isaiah 9:6

Who Is In Control?

I am not supposed to be blogging now because I promised a friend that I will sleep early. I decided to type a quick note to share about one precious lesson I learnt on the day when I left for Bangkok. It was last Friday, 15 December. I came back just last morning (18 December) at around 1am. Well, this explains why I have not been writing my blog for the past few days. :)

Before I left for the airport last week, I went to Orchard Road for a while to meet my God-sister to check out a sale at Isetan Scotts. I also needed to check out some books which I ordered at Borders.

Just when I was about to board the bus to the airport, I realised I could not find my bluetooth headset for my PDA-Handphone. I frantically searched through all the pockets of my bermudas but could not find it.

I traced back the route I took from the bus-stop to Borders. It was here I recalled detouring to the bank to drop a cheque. I also recalled when I was taking out my wallet that I heard something dropped but I could not find anything when I did a quick scan on the floor.

When I realised I should have checked the floor thoroughly and not take for granted that everything was in order, it irked me to the point where it affected my whole mood. Thirty minutes ago, it was one of joy and excitement as I was looking forward to my holiday trip. Now I was a guy with a face so black that if it was night, people might mistake me for a headless human.

I got so fed-up for not having a headset, knowing that I would use it often during my trip, that I grudgingly went to Lucky Plaza to buy a new one. Paid $115 for it.

Anyway, when I was in the plane headed for Thailand, I realised that I had allowed a small incident to affect me so greatly that it controlled my emotions and also my way of thinking.

When I realised my folly, I asked God for forgiveness and prayed that He will teach me not to let circumstances and for this case, a simple bluetooth headset, get the better of me.

At the time when I resigned myself to having lost the headset, I was angry with myself, the circumstances and also God for letting this happened. I felt that the whole world was against me then.

When I cooled down, I came to term that life still must go on despite of some bad experiences I may face in life. My life should be controlled by God and not other things.

Well, other than that, the trip was a good one - the fellowship I had with all my siblings-in-Christ, the shopping, the food (though I had food poisoning on the third day which kind of dampened my desire to eat lots of seafood which was cheap and good), the massage and also the sight-seeing.

I had a great time of dinner with a friend - celebrated her birthday. I praise the Lord that she liked the food and the presents. Haha. It was a great time of catching up. Thanks be to God for that!

Shall sleep now. :) I will write again real soon. Good night!

"For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope—the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good." Titus 2:11-14

Use The Right Weapon

Yesterday at 6:45pm, I headed for Lido Theatre and got myself a ticket to watch a World War One (WWI) movie called, "The Fly-Boys." I like war movies generally. I actually planned to watch "Flags of our Fathers" but the theatre has stopped showing it. :(

Sorry to those of you who are planning to watch the show because I am going to share in detail what the story was about, which by the way is based on a true account, and one basic lesson I learnt which can be applied in my walk with the Lord.

Come to think of it now, I doubt many people like to watch war movies. I guess I am one of the rare few. :)

Anyway, the story was about a group of young men, mainly from the United States of America, who volunteered themselves to be trained as pilots so that they could fight alongside the French against the Germans. Then, the USA was not in the war yet. The year was 1917.

The bi-planes with a single machine-gun were the aircrafts used by the Allied Forces but they were far inferior compared to the German planes - theirs were tri-planes with twin machine-guns. The German aircrafts were more stable, very powerful, faster and the fire-power was double that of the Allied Forces'.

As aircraft technology was still relatively new since it was not too long ago that the Wright Brothers introduced their first flying-machine before WWI, the bi-planes and tri-planes were actually state-of-the-art machines used at that time.

The movie basically showed how the pilots from both sides engaged themselves in dog-fights. On the German side, there was this ace-pilot who was known to be very ruthless. He shot down many of the Allied aircrafts. He even killed pilots on the ground when they managed to safely land their damaged machines.

One of the veteran pilots from the Allied Forces had always wanted to hunt that ace-pilot down but in the end, he was killed.

The task was then handed over to another pilot who, by the way, was the lead actor.

To cut the story short, there was another dog-fight between him and the German ace. The latter was still far more superior and experienced and he shot many holes into the Allied pilot's aircraft. He (the lead actor) was, of course, injured.

The next scene showed the German pilot flying next to the damaged plane. He gave the injured Allied pilot the smug look. He then flew behind the damaged aircraft and was ready to shoot it down when the injured pilot suddenly made an interesting manoeuvre. Again the aircrafts were flying next to each other. The ace-pilot once again gave that smug look and here came the twist.

The injured airman basically whipped out a pistol, shot three times at the German pilot and he was killed instantly.

The storyline sounds a bit lame, I know, but do not forget that this was a true account.

So, what was the one lesson I learnt? Well, simply use the right and basic weapon to defeat the enemy.

There were the sophiscated flying machines with all the powerful machine-guns. In the end it was but a simple pistol that killed the enemy.

Likewise, in our fight against the evil one, let us not fall into the trap of having to think of complicated strategies to defeat him. God gave us two basic weapons and these will be enough to bring down the devil.

Just use the WORD OF GOD and PRAYER!

Hallellujah! :)

"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints." Ephesians 6:10-18

Can Someone Tell That I Am A CHRISTIAN?

I attended my grand-aunty's funeral at noon today. The procession was to begin at 1:30pm. I went there early to see whether I could offer some assistance should the family need any.

When I arrived, there were others who were there much earlier than me. They were from the temple that one of my late grand-aunty's daughters worshipped in. I do not know the name of the temple but they were all very well-dressed. All in white-top and black-bottom. Out of the 100 over of them, about 75% were young adults. The temple used to be located just opposite Heartland Mall and it has since moved to Sengkang.

I remembered the temple to be a crowded place where there were many youths and young adults attending the worship sessions. There were even carpark wardens along the road to direct traffic as it was always congested with cars.

I remembered the designs to be modern and if one did not notice the details of the building, one would think that a Christian service was in session.

Anyway, I was observing the whole group as the rituals were being done - it lasted more than an hour and the whole rites were very elaborate and repetitive.

The worshippers were very caring and helpful - always there for the family. They did all the preparations so that the family could concentrate on mourning for my late grand-aunty.

When I was observing every detail of the funeral and the devotees, a question popped up in my mind - can someone actually tell whether I am a Christian or not?

I do not really know why this question came to mind but it sure kept me thinking.

How is Christianity different from other religions that people can actually be drawn to it? Why is it that some churches in the world are dying? Why is it that many people feel that Christians are hypocrites? If the Christian faith is alive and real, then why is it that the masses are not attracted to it?

Am I living out my faith? Or am I no different from the world? Is the downfall of the churches the fault of Christians themselves?

It is quite scary to ask all those questions above because it is vital that I, as a Christian, need to know and be sure of my identity in Christ and that I have been redeemed and set free from the bondages of sin and death.

If I continue to live my life defeated and am always discouraged and being negative about what I do, say or think, then I will definitely repel more than I attract people to the faith.

I guess it is time for me to really live out my faith and stand out for Christ!

Something for you and me to think about and act upon. :)

I got my medical test report when I called the hospital. Praise the Lord the stomach ulcer was just a laceration and nothing more. Hallelujah!

Well, it has been another long day - after the funeral, I headed for church to prepare some stuff for the Mission Ministry.

I also had to meet a couple to plan for their wedding next month. It is always wonderful to see another two of my dear friends making a commitment to share their lives together in marriage. :) I hope I will be able to do a good job, with the help of the Lord, so that the couple will enjoy the special day that He has made for them.

Time to rest my body for the day.

"You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven." Matthew 5:14-16

Just Wondering

This morning when I spent some time in prayer for my Khmer siblings-in-Christ, I was challenged once again to do something which I did a couple of Christmases ago. I was moved to use the money that I am going to spend buying presents for friends here this Christmas for another purpose instead - that is to give the amount to those who are in need, both here and in Cambodia.

I shall continue to pray about the above-mentioned - not as in whether to help the needy or not but to decide whether I should do both, as in bless the needy as well as still buy presents for friends. For those who are reading my blog - what do you think? Haha.

I was also wondering - why is it that we want to bless friends with gifts only on Christmas when we can do it any time of the year?

Anyway, these were just two thoughts that kept me wondering.

I went out with my God-sister and God-daughters today. I had a great time with them though I am now a prune. My blood was sucked dry by the trio. I was outnumbered and all decisions made were based on "majority wins" - I guess it is not too difficult to guess who was the losing party. Haiz. :)

Anyway, we went to Sakae Sushi in Wheelock Place for lunch - we had 24 normal plates; 2 red plates; 3 cans of soft drinks; and 2 bottles of orange juice. It is quite scary to see how a group of young girls, one a 7-year old, the other a 10-year old and another a 15-year old girl, could eat so much sushies in a meal. After that, they still could eat ice-cream from Haato. Amazing!

We headed next to Fuji Ice Palace to ice-skate. It was fun, though tiring. It was also amusing to see how my God-daughters skated. They kept falling down that their trousers got so wet from the damp surface. I am thankful that my God-sis was patient enough to guide the two little ones and picking them up each time they fell. In the end, both my God-daughters could skate better.

A lesson I learnt from this is how a stronger brother or sister-in-Christ should help a weaker sibling-in-Christ when in need. To do so, he or she must be patient enough to guide and help pick the person up each time he or she falls. In doing so, eventually that brother or sister would be able to stand firm and move on his or her own.

We left the skating ring at around 4:15pm and it was time to send the two young ones home.

My God-sister and I went on to shop for some stuff. We had a great time of fellowship together over dinner. We also spent some time in Acts Christian Bookstore situated at Raffles City. She bought some encouragement cards and bookmarks.

When we were browsing the shop, we saw a section where Bibles were going on sale. This sparked something in us and it made us wonder why is it that the Word of God, given to us freely by God, has now a price-tag on it and in some occasions, sold at a discount?

Are we using the Word for man's own profiteering by the simple fact that we are selling them and are we cheapening the Bible when it is place on sale at a discount?

I do not mean to start a debate here but it was quite an interesting thought. Maybe if Bibles are available free-of-charge, many more will read it.

Anyway, so much for all that. I am very tired now. Shall sleep soon. Tomorrow is my late grand-aunty's funeral. It should be an emotionally-draining day for all attending. I hope God will help me to comfort my relatives.

"Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their work:

If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up!

Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?"

Ecclesiastes 4:9-11

Do Not Wait Till It Is Too Late!

I was informed today by my parents that one of my grand-aunties whom I was quite close with has passed away. She was not a believer. :( Her name was Po Po Nia (whom I affectionately addressed her as).

She died in an old folks' home. Her children decided to place her in the home after she became blind due to severe cataract and she was also unable to walk due to weak knees. She had diabetes as well.

I mentioned I was closed to her before because she used to stay just two levels below my old flat in Lavender Street. I used to go to her place when my mother wanted to cane me for creating problems in school or when I got myself in trouble when I was out with my gangster-friends.

She was a nice lady - always offering me food to eat and always advising me to be a good boy which I hardly was when I was in primary school. I always got myself into fights or just simply could not be bothered to study just so that I could make my mother angry for always comparing me with the rest of my cousins.

After I moved from the old flat to a new estate, I seldom kept in touch with her. We only see each other during the Lunar New Year or some family gatherings.

I am saddened by her passing and at the same time, I am also angry with myself for not having done more in sharing with my grand-aunty about the God whom I believe in and has done so much for me.

The question was "Why?" Why did I not share with her about Jesus Christ since He has been so good to me? Why is it that only when someone dies then a Christian regrets that he or she could have done something to share his or her faith to the deceased?

Is it because I felt there was still time to do so later rather than now?

As I reflect about it, I realised I must have been kidding myself. In my immediate family, my brother still does not know who Jesus Christ is and I hardly share with him about God because I thought to myself that I can do it later when he is more ready. I think if I continue to have that attitude and mindset, then it is already too late because tomorrow may never come. If that happens, it would be my fault that he died without knowing who Jesus is, simply because I did not see the urgency to share with him the Good News.

Is it not ironic that a good news should be shared immediately to someone else and yet many Christians (me included) who have the Good News are not doing so? Is there something wrong with our faith that makes us not eager to share something good to another who does not know it?

A dear friend of mine, as I am typing this blog, is with her friend now watching a movie called "The Nativity Story." She saw the need to share the Good News to her friend. A seed has been planted in a life tonight.

If I could have taken more effort to share my faith to my late grand-aunty, perhaps she might have become part of God's eternal family now. But it was not to be.

All Christians should make use of every opportunity to share his or her faith, not later but now. Once we hesitate or procrastinate, it might already be too late!

I hope in my pilgrim's journey here on earth, I will progress in my outreach effort from one of waiting to do it later to one of doing it immediately by creating opportunities. We have been given the freedom to use the 24 hours given to us daily - if every Christian can spare 30 minutes or one hour daily to share his or her faith to someone over a meal, then in 30 days, 30 seeds would have been planted in 30 lives. In 365 days, 365 lives would have been reached out to.

For the church I am currently worshipping in, there are 800 members. If one can reach out to another daily, then in a year, the church would have shared the Good News to 292,000 lives (800 members x 365 family members or friends).

Some may say sharing the Good News to one person a day is too much. Perhaps it is. Realistically, even I myself may find it tough to do so. But think again, even if we halve that, it is still a staggering number of 146,000 souls whom we may possibly have won into God's eternal kingdom. If we quarter the initial figure, it would still be an awesome figure of 73,000 lives.

Statistics, at the end of the day, is not the focus. It is more so my willingness to reach out to someone who is a part of my life - he or she can be my family member, relative or friend. If I cherish this person, then I will not, in any way or have any excuse, to not share Christ to him or her now.

Sorry, Po Po Nia. :(

"Therefore my people will know my name;
therefore in that day they will know
that it is I who foretold it.
Yes, it is I."

How beautiful on the mountains
are the feet of those who bring good news,
who proclaim peace,
who bring good tidings,
who proclaim salvation,
who say to Zion,
"Your God reigns!"

Listen! Your watchmen lift up their voices;
together they shout for joy.
When the LORD returns to Zion,
they will see it with their own eyes."

Isaiah 52:6-8

In Christ Alone

I have to start today's blog with this - "Thank You, Almighty God, for everything."

I have to say those words to my gracious Father - if not for Him, I really would not have known what to do when I was placed in a couple of situations where my limited human understanding and ability just could not allow me to handle them.

In my previous blog, I mentioned certain incidents that happened during the first two days of the Youth Ministry Camp 2006.

Yesterday was the most trying for me.

One thing happened after the other. I did not even have the time to catch a breather.

The camper who had asthma attack on the second day of camp when we were at Sentosa had another last night. It was worst than the previous as she was wheezing badly and a couple of times, she got so weak that her breathing stopped. I had to shout at my dear sister-in-Christ to ensure that she would keep breathing. I had to make her sit upright with her head tilted up at all times. I had to also rub her chest.

After about 15 minutes, when her condition did not improve, I decided she needed professional medical attention urgently. We called a member of the church who is a doctor. We were advised to go to her clinic which she had to open specially for us.

I had to carry my sister-in-Christ down from the third level to the basement one carpark. I was already actually very tired, especially after a long day outing with the campers doing some community blessings. I had to also carry her from the car into the clinic. I thank God for giving me the strength to carry her.

Anyway, the camper was given a breathing apparatus with some medication attached to the machine. The equipment is called Nebulizer. The vapour produced helped to clear the air passage and she was able to breathe better in the process. She was also given an injection and had to take two kinds of oral medications.

When her condition stabilised, we brought her back to church. The camp committee decided that the camper should go home to have a proper rest. After she packed up, two other leaders and I accompanied her home.

When we reached back church, someone informed me that a camper had fallen down in the ladies' toilet. I quickly rushed up to attend to her.

The camper was already on a chair when I went into the toilet. I was concerned that she was moved from floor to an elevated platform like a chair because if the camper had a spinal injury, something more serious might occur during the transfer.

Anyway, I had to press gently her spinal cord - if she had a sudden jerk or no feelings at all, then her case could have been serious. Praise the Lord none of these were visible.

We let her rest for a while. I made the decision that she should go home so that she could sleep on a proper bed as all campers were sleeping on the floor with just a sleeping bag. I also advised the camper's father that he should bring her daughter to the hospital for a scan if her condition did not improve the following day.

When I came back to church again, I had to attend to a few other campers who had constipation, gastritis attack and headaches.

Throughout the above incidents, I appeared to remain calm (so as not to affect the campers who were either injured, unwell or present at the scenes watching) but inside me, there were cries of desperation and for help.

I needed help from my Almighty God because it pained my heart badly to see how difficult it was for my dear sister-in-Christ to breathe and the cold she had to bear; the pain for another sister had to endure after the fall; and for the rest of the campers who were affected when they knew about the incidents.

When I was on my own, tears just flowed because it was then that I could release all the fears, anxieties and pains openly.

What have I learnt? Simply that God does not fail when we cry out to Him for help. Really - I experienced that first-hand when I attended to all the incidents that happened right from Day One of the camp.

I sang the words of one of my favourite songs...

Verse 1:
In Christ alone will I glory
though I could pride myself in battles won.
For I've been blessed beyond measure
and by His strength alone I overcome.
Oh, I could stop and count successes
like diamonds in my hand.
But those trophies could not equal
to the grace by which I stand.

Chorus:
In Christ alone I place my trust
and find my glory in the power of the cross.
In every victory let it be said of me;
my source of strength, my source of hope
is Christ alone.

Verse 2:
In Christ alone will I glory,
for only by His grace I am redeemed.
Only His tender mercy
could reach beyond my weakness to my need.
Now I seek no greater honor
than just to know Him more
and to count my gains but losses
to the glory of the Lord.

Last Line:
My source of strength, my source of hope
Is Christ alone

You know, initially when I was reflecting on all that had happened, I thought to myself, "Wow! How come so much spiritual warfare? The devil is really laying a foothold in the camp."

Now as I look back again, I think I should stop giving the evil one so much credits. He could have created some havoc but he was forgetful enough to remember that ultimately, God will triumph. He forgot that at the end of it all, God receives the glory!

The camp is definitely a success. The theme was on "Faith" and faith was definitely practised and strengthened throughout - through prayers that the campers uttered for their fellow siblings-in-Christ; through the testimonies shared today before the camp came to a close; the encouragement and support given to each other.

Well, thanks and glory be to God who never fails us!

"Believe me when I say that I am in the Father and the Father is in me; or at least believe on the evidence of the miracles themselves. I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father." John 14:11-13

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4

Faith

The past two nights of the Youth Ministry Camp, Pastor Joel, the speaker from Bedok Methodist Church, spoke on the topic of faith.

Hebrew 11:1 says, "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."

These two sessions made me reflect on my life - I was asking myself do I have faith in God and will it last till the day I die (which may be as soon as the next second or as long as another 40 years) especially in those areas that do not run smoothly.

I'm sure I do trust God to lead and guide me but many times I let disappointments got the better of me. In the end, I just give up and sometimes become bitter.

Well, there were occasions when my faith was put to the test during the camp. Other than my photography task, I am also to take care of the medical welfare of the campers. Thank you to the army for sending me for medical training which has been very helpful. Praise the Lord!

The first day, one of the campers was hit quite hard by a soccer-ball on the arm and in turn, her elbow hit her ribs. She was in pain. Initially she was okay after I asked another sister-in-Christ to spray some ointment on her but about 30 minutes later, she said she had difficulty breathing and that her left side of her body was a little numb. It was then that I panicked. I decided to send her to the doctor. After she was examined, we were told that there was to be no cause for concern and some medications were prescribed to help ease the pain.

Yesterday, another camper had quite a bad asthmatic attack - she collapsed while playing some beach games. When I rushed to her, she was gasping. At that point, I was also scared and I whispered a prayer and asked God to help me.

I made her sit up straight, her head rested on my thigh areas as I stood behind her. I lifted her head a little so that she could breathe better. Her breathing was regulated after a while and I gave her ventolin to inhale.

After about 10 minutes, we decided to move her to a more shady area. When she was about to sit down under the shelter, again her asthmatic attack came. I panicked even more as I did not expect it to happen for a second time. I prayed even harder and more desperately.

After fanning her and making her sit upright and head lifted a little again, she recovered eventually. I was so happy when I saw the recovery. Hallelujah!

These two incidents were really a test for me. As I look back now, I remembered very clearly each time after I prayed that I became calm. I could even hear this small voice telling me what to do and I just followed - I knew it was the voice of God guiding and instructing me.

He did more than just the above-mentioned. He provided us the ventolin inhaler we needed. The beach was quite sparsed with beachgoers but when the Camp Commandant ran around looking for the inhaler, he found it.

Not only did God do this, he also provided us very timely with the church's facility officer who was there in both incidents. He has a car and that was truly 'heaven-sent' (maybe I should sign up for my driving test again and buy myself a car for incidents like this when an automobile will come in handy) - the first incident was to bring the camper to the clinic and the other was to send her back to church so that she could rest.

Well, there are areas in my life that I need to cry out to God and it is my prayer that I will always hear that still small voice to lead and guide me accordingly. There are occasions when I could not hear that voice at all. I think it was not because God did not listen to my prayers, I guess He wanted me to wait. Waiting is always a test of my faith because I do not know what to expect except to continue living in suspense till He shows me the direction. One thing I am also certain is that God makes all things beautiful in His time and not mine. Thanks be to Him for that assurance!

I am glad I have learnt some things from the camp. I pray my faith in God will last till the day I die. I do not know how big the next trial is going to be for my life but I guess even now as I anticipate that, I will trust God to pull me through them and make me a better person for Him and for the people around me.

My life's journey continues - many roadworks and pot-holes along the way but as the song goes... "God will make a way where there seems to be no way. He works in ways we cannot see, He will make a way for me. He will be my guide, hold me closely to His side. With love and strength for each new day. He will make a way. He will make a way."

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." Hebrews 11:1

God's 24-Hour Hotline

Yesterday has been a long, fruitful and happy day for me.

I went to visit the kids again at the Paediatrics Department in the afternoon. I brought along some toys I got from Toys R Us and they (as in Wendy, Li Wen, Jestina, Shanti, Wen Ping and Shay) were all so happy.

I decided to buy them a toy each as I wanted to bring some joy into their lives as they go through some physical inconveniences during this period.

I did not stay long as I had to meet my God-sister. Shay's parents were in the room when I stopped by and we spoke for a short while. I told them that I was a kidney patient. I encouraged them a little as I shared how I overcame certain obstacles in the course of having to go through all the check-ups and dialysis treatments.

Before I left, I prayed with them after confirming that they are Christians - they worship at Prinsep Street Presbyterian Church.

I bade the kids farewell and in my heart, I prayed that they will all recover completely and grow to be men and women after God's heart - testifying to others how God brought them through the ordeal. I hope for those who still do not know God that they will one day.

I had a great time of catching up with my dear God-sister as we went to buy face-paints for the camp later. We also bought some candies to encourage the campers and did some window-shopping after that. It was dinner at Heeren next. Praise the Lord for the food He provided as the both of us fellowshipped over meal. :)

I joined the leaders and some church members for a time of prayer in the Prayer Chapel. We even went to the vicinities around the church and in Serangoon North to claim those lands which we will be penetrating into for the Christmas Outreach programmes.

It was a walk of faith that God will open the hearts of the residents as we invite them to the Christmas Eve Celebration. The youths will do the invitations on Saturday while the rest of the church will do so on Sunday.

We went back to the Prayer Chapel again after the Prayer Walk and continued interceding for the church.

Well, in the course of having so much to do yesterday, I thank God for reminding me to pray unceasingly. It brings a lot of peace in me after praying because now I know God is in the process of answering the cries of His children. Keeping that in mind, I do not have to worry anymore about my struggles or that of my siblings-in-Christ or friends. Hallelujah!

"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints. Pray also for me, that whenever I open my mouth, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should." Ephesians 6:10-20

Press The Button Of Prayer

I spent the later part of the morning and the early afternoon in hospital. I went for a check-up because the past few days my tummy area has been rather painful and I suspected it is the recurrence of the stomach ulcers.

A scan and biopsy were carried out and it is confirmed that I have an ulcer the size of a 20-cent coin. This is considered small already. I used to have one the size of a 50-cent coin.

The doctor had to do a biopsy to ascertain the extent of the infection and also to ensure that it is nothing more than just an ulcer. The part of my tummy where the needle was inserted is now sore.

Well, I am so used to visiting the hospital that another trip today did not affect me whatsoever. It is like going to a place to visit old friends as in the doctors and nurses. Haha.

Since a couple of years ago when I was diagnosed to have acute renal failure and having struggled a couple of months questioning and finding out what God's will is for me to go through all these illnesses, I have learnt to leave it to Him.

I cannot deny that I am anxious about the report which will be released next week but by worrying, it does not make things better. If that is the case, the only way now is to leave it in God's hand and trust Him to make a way for me.

Anyway, in between the scan and the biopsy, there was a gap of two hours. Since I cannot have lunch, I decided to go to the Paediatrics Department to visit some children. I also know some nurses there. In the past, after I was done with my dialysis treatment, I would go up and play with the kids for a while.

As I was coming out of the lift, I was greeted by a girl, who is 7 years old. Her name is Wendy Sim. She just smiled at me and asked whether I was visiting my child. I told her I was not and she gave me this puzzled look. I just told her I wanted to visit the kids like her in the wards and she started showing me around, introducing me to some of the children she had befriended.

I got to know 5 young ones in all: three girls and two boys - the girls are Jestina, Li Wen, Shanti and the boys are Wen Ping and Shay. The youngest of them all was Shay - he is only 3 years old.

I got a chance to talk to two nurses I know. I found out from them that Wendy is suffering from some intestinal disorder where she will just vomit out most of the food she eats. As for Shay, he has kidney ailment. If people do not know that he has problems with his kidneys, they will probably find him very cute - chubby face and all. It is not because this boy is fat but he has water retention. His case is considered quite serious as he has been in and out of hospital almost 4 times this year.

I found out that Wendy, Li Wen and Shay are Christians. The two girls were showing Shay some pictures they coloured and I could tell that some of the characters are from the Bible. There was also a scene of a manger where Li Wen coloured the sheep purple. :) Li Wen suffers from vertigo - she is hospitalised because she hit her head against a chair when she lost her balance.

I took up the courage to pray with my three young siblings-in-Christ. I assured them that Jesus is always there for them when they need Him. I told them that Jesus is like a nurse - when they need help, all they have to do is press the button by their beds and the nurse will come to them.

Li Wen asked whether Jesus is as fierce as one of the nurses they know and I told them He can be, sometimes, if they disobey. Haha. I hope I did not scare them.

As for Shanti, Jestina and Wen Ping, I prayed quietly for them and I hope God will also help them in their time of need or pain.

As I was typing the above account with the kids, I realised the lessons I shared with them can also be applied in the lives of older Christians like me. It served as a reminder that God is Emmanuel - He is always with us and when we are in need, all we have to do is to press the button of prayer and He will come to our aid. Just as much as I hope I did not scare Li Wen when I told her that Jesus can be fierce if she disobeys, it is actually true that He will be angry if we chooses to rebel.

Well, for me it is a fruitful day in the midst of the physical pain I had to endure.

Thanks be to God for pain because then it makes me realised how human I am. :)

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? "And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:25-34

Contentment

The Christmas season is here. Bright colourful lights have changed Orchard Road into a sea of precious stones. Stores everywhere are having sales of up to 75%. Almost every one is putting up his or her wish-list. People are buying gifts for their friends. Christmas trees are being decorated with different ornaments. Parties are being planned. Turkeys and honey-baked hams are being roasted. Wow! Super-magical, isn't it? Wonderland!

Just this morning, I was brought back to the realities of life and I realised Christmas may not be as magical as the stores made it to be, especially for some groups of people whom the society has forgotten amidst all the hustle and bustle.

I, along with some colleagues of mine, went to visit some poor and needy families, to interview them and it brought tears to my eyes that on the outskirts of all the lights and festivities, at the corners of this land of the blessed, there are darkness in some homes.

The families do not have lights because they do not have the money to pay for their monthly utilities; they do not even have the means to travel to places like Orchard Road (though Singapore is so small - a tiny red dot as some politicians remarked) to see all the lights and participate in the sales because the bus or train fares could have been used to meet their other needs; their wish-list is probably not for a new pair of Adidas shoes or Crumpler bag or Zara clothes but that they can just have the minimal to last them through each day. That itself is already a bonus. They dare not think about tomorrow because it is just too painful to look so far ahead; they do not even have a few cents to buy small gifts like sweets for each other during their birthdays; they do not have Christmas trees. The closest to that is a few pots of withering plants in their homes; luncheon meat in place of turkeys and honey-baked ham and that can of meat is to last them, sometimes, up to a week for a family of five.

I was humbled. Humbled to the point where I cannot even move, literally. The Springfield polo-T and Levis jeans I wore, the Canon camera I held, the Seiko watch on my wrist, the Crumpler bag I carried, the Bum Equipment shoes on my feet, the Braun Buffel wallet I held, the Oakley shades hung around my neck. I wished there and then I was naked because all these items are luxurious commodities that the families saw me wearing and yet many times, I took these stuff for granted and even covet for more when I know deep down that I already have more than enough. The sad part is that sometimes I even complained to God that my life is so miserable because I do not have some things that others own.

Lunch time for me after this. It is just so easy for me to order a plate of rice with a few dishes and chomp them down in a matter of minutes. To those needy families, I wonder whether they even have that same plate of rice and dishes to feed not one mouth but five.

I had $52 in my wallet and I thank God that they were all in smaller denomination of notes. We visited five families in all. I gave $10 to each family before we left. $10 x 5 families = $50 but I had $52. What did I do to that $2? I kept it for myself so that I could use it for my own needs... in fact I clearly remembered I wanted to use it to buy myself a drink. I regretted keeping that $2 because I could have easily gone to an ATM machine to draw out some money for my usage later.

I do not know how long $10 will last for each of the families. That $2 could have made a bigger difference to them.

I was not informed of these visitations and only came to know about them when I reported to work. I thank God for this surprise because it was a wake-up call for me.

The mission team came back last Tuesday from Cambodia reaching out to the Khmer-people. Today, almost one week later, it brings to my attention that ministry to people need not be done just overseas like that of the mission trip I just participated. Ministry can start here in Singapore where there are needy families whom Christians can reach out to and make a difference in their lives.

When I came back to the office after the visitations, I went up to the rooftop to pray. The first thing I asked God was to help me to be contented. All these while, my life is too bogged down with the wants of this and that. Does it make a difference once I have them? Nope. Because after that, I will want more and after that, even more and it goes on and on and on.

Thank You, Lord, for what I have now. Thank You.

"But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs." 1 Timothy 6:6-10

Over-Caring

Sometimes I wish I do not have to care about the people I love. Really. But then I cannot because caring is a natural outcome of love. I do not wish to make this sound negative but it is something I am struggling now as a friend or brother to another.

I feel sometimes I am over-caring. In doing so, instead of touching a person's life, I stumble him or her in the process. Instead of drawing us closer, we are drawn further away from each other. Instead of being more open to one another, the person I am showing my concern towards shuts himself or herself up. Instead of appreciating one another, we become bitter towards one another. One of the ironies of relationship.

At the end of it all, I realised my strength becomes my weakness. Sigh. What burdens me most is that I do not want my brother or sister or friend to find me a pain in the neck because that was never my intention. All I ever wanted is to let the person know that I am there for him or her all the way regardless of our differences in views expressed and decisions made.

Today I think I've stumbled one very close sister because of the above-mentioned. :( I hope she will bear with me. I also pray that she will understand my struggles because I cherish the relationship with her dearly and I am burdened with certain areas of her life.

Well, since I came back from the mission trip, a couple of things in my life have gone hay-wire: friction in relationships - involving one or two persons (the stumbling block I have caused and the hurts I am experiencing); ill-health - my stomach ulcers are acting up, I think. Experiencing sharp pains regularly. Could not sleep at night sometimes.

I guess I have to be on the watch against the schemes of the devil. I have fallen into some of his traps already. I hope God will help me.

I also pray He will counsel me as I resolve some issues in my life.

The above-mentioned is one area of my journey that I wish I do not have to experience but I guess not. I hope at the end of all these struggles, my life will attract more than it repels.

"Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, ..." 1 Peter 5:6-9a

Fragile - Handle With Care

I was reminded of a precious lesson yesterday afternoon when I was spending some time with the Lord in quiet at church.

It brought to my attention that friendship or relationship in general can be fragile and I need to handle it with care. I cannot take for granted that once it has been built, everything will be stable and that it will grow stronger and stronger.

I learnt once again that it has to be maintained and cultivated. It is a tough process but that is what relationship is about.

In the days when I was a youth and young adult, I lost a couple of friends because I took it for granted that everything will be alright once I know the person up to a certain level. Then when our friendship was tested, it failed and now I have lost communication with them completely.

I lost one of my closest friends whom I shared my life with so deeply when we were serving the Lord together in church. We did things together in university, went out, prayed together several times, joked with each other, etc. We were the bestest of friends, along with another brother but suddenly, my friendship with him just broke apart and I have lost a dear brother. Even during his wedding, I was not invited. Till this day, I still do not know exactly why it happened but it definitely hurt. Initially I was bitter against that brother and he was probably bitter against me too but I have released those bitterness and pain. Sometimes I still pray that God will bring about reconciliation and I hope the day will come.

I confess that several times, I have failed as a friend to another because of my shortcomings. I have also experienced hurt caused by my other friends.

I guess it takes two hands to clap and this should be applied in any relationship.

If there is hurt, one should learn to forgive; if there is any wrong-doing, one should learn to correct; if there is any flaw, one should learn to accept the person as who he is but at the same time run alongside him as he overcomes his weaknesses. Both parties must always attempt to work at the friendship.

Not long ago, I wrote this phrase, "A Christian relationship does not involve only two parties but three - one human at each end with God in the middle to bind them together in Godly love."

I have to admit that even now as I write this, there are a couple of friends whom I am struggling with. I really do not wish to lose them and it is my prayer that God will help us. I have lost enough friends (due to my carelessness and ignorance and at times arrogance) and I do not wish to lose any more.

I hope I will learn to be a better friend to another. I also hope that should I fail them at times, my friends will give me a chance to learn and allow me to build on the friendship from there.

This, I guess, is one of the harder tasks in my pilgrim's journey. God be my help and guide.

"Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." Ecclesiastes 4:12

"If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Ecclesiastes 4:10