Right The Wrongs

I feel as if I am going to fall sick - a little feverish. I was with one of the kids in church yesterday and he was down with flu. I can also sense the cough coming as there is this irritation around the throat area. It is also kind of sore.

I am now in Ngee Ann City Coffee Bean - as usual, I am here doing some readings, blogging and also writing a letter. A sister-in-Christ ever asked me why I like to frequent this joint - frankly I do not know. Whenever I want to do the above activities I mentioned, I would automatically just head for this joint. I guess knowing the staff also naturally brings me here since once in a while, they would come by my table and chat a little.

I am still on stand-by and I do not know whether I would be called up at all. I do not like this kind of uncertainty as it disrupts a lot of the plans I have in mind for the week. Anyway, since this is part and parcel of life here in Singapore, I shall not complain and adapt accordingly.

Have you ever had this uneasy feeling of being ignored? Or having this sadness in you because someone you hold dear to is drifting further and further away from the faith? Well, I am experiencing all of these today.

For the first incident, it simply makes me wonder whether I have offended that person who simply does not reply to my smses or MSN messages. I always hope to be rebuked if I have done something wrong against someone. Ignoring me simply does not help me in overcoming certain of my shortcomings. Anyway, I cannot recall offending this particular individual but I apologised anyway, just in case if I did but simply had no recollection.

For the second incident, it was simply a case of reading another dear sibling-in-Christ's blog where this particular individual mentioned about certain problems faced in her life. The burden I have is basically how she has drifted away from God and now depending on her own strength to deal with them. Before, she had experienced how God has seen her through her studies and all, doing well in the process but now, I do not know whether she had forgotten about His goodness and power.

Anyway, I am sharing all these not that I want to bring any one down but that I want these persons to know that I am praying for them. This may not be the best medium or way to solve the problems but I felt led to share them on this blog to show how sometimes tension and struggles happen amongst Christians which at the end of the day, must be dealt, with God as our help. I will also approach the individuals eventually.

My knees are still killing me. I simply cannot squat now - it will be a great struggle to stand up after that. I hope they will be well soon. If the condition is still bad in the next few days, I guess I will have to see the specialist to have them examined.

I shall end here for now.

"Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, for each one should carry his own load. Anyone who receives instruction in the word must share all good things with his instructor. Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers." Galatians 6:1-10

Fleeing Is Not Always A Sign Of Cowardice

Sometimes I have myself to blame for some of the physical sufferings I am going through. I was with the youths at Tavistock Park - they were playing touch rugby. I have always loved playing this sport and being a spectator was not enough for me. I was very tempted to join in. Of course I did though I knew I should not as my left knee-cap was still recovering. Running in weird angles and everywhere also did not help. Sigh. Well, my both knees are super painful now. I cannot squat and when I walk, they are super sore and I could also feel the looseness of the joints. If I am angry, I can only be angry with myself.

Now I can only pray for the Lord's grace to be upon me. I hope He can heal me completely from this injury as I really want to exercise again. It is frustrating when I so desire to work my body out but there is this inconvenience preventing me from doing so. :(

Anyway, I did enjoy myself tremendously especially when I could outrun some of the youths who were chasing after me when I got hold of the ball. I guess this is the first and the last time I am able to play - I think it will be a long time before I could participate in the game again.

I guess from next week onwards, I will serve as a referee and be contented with that role for now.

Well, so much for that. I just got to know of a dear sister-in-Christ's grandma who just passed away. She asked me a couple of questions pertaining to her granny's faith and all. I hope she was able to understand my explanations. I am praying that the Lord will be close to the family during this period of mourning.

I attended the Youth Ministry session this morning and the topic of discussion was on sexual immorality. The youths were reminded what they should or should not be doing when it comes to matters of the heart. It is always that easy to cross the line and sinned against one another and God. I was taught that our body is a temple of the Holy Spirit - we should not defile it. I also learnt that God has given us our bodies as a trust - meaning to say we need to be good stewards of our bodies.

Well, if ever I get married, I know my body is for my spouse and it will not ever be used for other reasons when it comes to issues like sex. The youths were also challenged to flee from sexual sins as that is the best preventive measure one can take to avoid falling into the traps of the evil one. Ultimately we were reminded that things like sex and all are for the purpose of marriage and nothing else. If one can keep that in mind, he or she may strife less against falling into the temptation of pre-marital sex.

Fleeing is good at times - not a sign of cowardice but wisdom.

I guess that is all for today. My legs are really killing me - wearing knee braces for both legs now.

Thanks be to God for everything.

"Everything is permissible for me"—but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible for me"—but I will not be mastered by anything. "Food for the stomach and the stomach for food"—but God will destroy them both. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. By his power God raised the Lord from the dead, and he will raise us also. Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, "The two will become one flesh." But he who unites himself with the Lord is one with him in spirit. Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body." 1 Corinthians 6:12-20

Do Not Be Affected Easily

Today has been a long day. I have been out since morning as I needed to be at the National Day Parade (NDP) briefing. After that I needed to inspect some areas. In the afternoon, I headed to Sentosa Siloso Beach to meet some siblings-in-Christ for a game of volleyball and frisbee. I did not play much as I was quite tired but I had a good time of fellowship with them. We also had dinner and dessert together.

Two things happened which taught me a lesson. It has got to do with people who sometimes get on our nerves - either they spoke bad things behind our backs or they just simply did not follow the instructions given and fouled up in the process.

Both I encountered today - the former happened to a sister-in-Christ and the latter was experienced by me. I shall not go into details but the one thing I was taught is - do not let people and circumstances affect us which in turn make us judge others and sin against God by entertaining thoughts which are unacceptable to Him.

By saying this, I do not mean that we let the matter rest and not deal with it if there is a need to but when it happens, do not let anger cause us to sin. It is tough because our natural human instinct is to react but I was reminded to practise self-control and patience.

I hope I am not being vague here but really, it is pointless to let people or circumstances spoil our day when there are so many other happy and pleasant things for us to enjoy and give thanks to the Lord for. Correction - we should also give thanks for the bad and unpleasant things as well and move on from there. If we continue to dwell upon it, we are actually allowing the evil one to lay a foothold. We should be careful at all times, to be watchful, not to fall into his traps.

I think I over-ate - must watch my food intake as I am putting on weight due to the lack of exercise.

Well, I am sleepy. Time to go to bed. Another long day awaits. :)

"Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil." Psalm 37:7-8

Why Puff Our Lives Away?

I got to know of a Warrant Officer in my army unit who is now suffering from the advance stage of lung cancer. I was quite close to him when I was serving my National Service. I remembered him as a non-commissioned officer who smokes non-stop. I also recalled a time when I was talking to him - basically took the opportunity to encourage him to stop this harmful habit. He said it is impossible as he has been puffing since he was in his early twenties.

It saddens my heart how one would want to destroy his life by doing something he knows is harmful to the body. The ironic thing is this particular individual is paying to have his life snuffed out - basically buying packs upon packs of cigarettes daily. Those laughing to the banks are the manufacturers of these tobacco products. So what if they put the warning and picture of how harmful smoking is on the packaging - to them it is nothing difficult. By doing so, they are in a way telling people they are doing their part for the society when in actual fact, they do not care at all whether one would be dead tomorrow so long as the profits still roll in.

Well, if they want to show that they really care for mankind, then stop the production completely! It is something unimaginable but I do pray occasionally that one day authorities will stand up against these heartless people and put a stop to this nonsense.

Of course these companies would reason that it is the choice of the individuals whether to smoke or not. True but if they care enough and still have a heart, they should stop this trade once and for all so that individuals do not even have a choice to make.

My aunty died of lung cancer in 1996 because she was a victim of secondary smoke from all the smokers she was surrounded with in the factory she was working in. I was very bitter about it and still is, I must admit. She basically needed to work to earn a living and to help support her family. What she got on top of that is death. I am learning not to judge smokers but whenever I get the chance I will tell them to try to stop.

"If possible, try to smoke less. Stop smoking completely is the best." This is the phrase I always use when I see people puffing their lives away.

Well, I know some people reading this blog may hate me for it or may disagree but the above-mentioned are my views. I guess I have the right to share them.

The Warrant Officer I mentioned above is a very nice gentleman - always there to give support or guidance in training. That is why I am even angrier that he is a victim of this society where we just do not have the guts to stand against what is not beneficial to the well-being of every human being on this earth.

That aside, I do know of Christians who smoke as well and I hope they will overcome and kick this habit as they jolly well know that the individual's body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. We are to be good stewards in what we have been given and I hope we are responsible enough to look after these blessings bestowed upon us. We can choose to ignore this responsibility but I do want to remind us that we are answerable to God for our actions when we meet Him eventually.

Wow, I sure sound very negative and sour over this issue. I hope by sharing these thoughts, it would spark in us to do something at least. Tell our smoking friends to stop is one way. It may not always work but at least we are doing something about it.

This morning my dear friend called to inform me that she has arrived safely in the country she is studying in. Praise the Lord for His journey mercies upon her.

Well, time to stop for now. My apologies if I had offended anyone in what I have written.

"Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body." 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

God Is My Shepherd!

I was at "Wayne's World" just now to do my monthly evaluation. "Wayne's World" was a comedy movie I watched many years ago - it showed these two guys who went to this place where they were in the line of path in which all the commercial aircrafts would fly and land. They would sit on the bonnet of their car and just watched planes after planes landing and taking off. My "Wayne's World" is a beach along the stretch of Changi coastline where I like to go and just sit on one of the stone-benches and watch all sorts of giant mechanised birds fly above me as I spend some time in quiet before the Lord. Well, of course it can be noisy at times when an aeroplane flies past but it was alright.

I had a great time with the Lord as I read my past month's journal-entries and also re-reading my blogs. Many things had happened in the month of July. It has been a tiring one basically but it was all worth it as I also learnt a lot from the experiences.

I have been drained physically, mentally and emotionally from having to handle mum's cancer saga. The falls and all that she had were a great burden for me as I do not wish mum to suffer physically and mentally. It frustrates me when I could not do much to prevent such accidents as I cannot be there for her all the time. I cannot also expect my family members to be there for her all the time. That is why this feeling of helplessness adds on to my already-exhausted self. I did learn something though. Actually it is more of a reminder - though my family and I cannot always be there for mum, there is one Person who can. He is none other than God Himself. With that in mind, every day I pray that He will be by mum's side to take care of all her needs. That brought a lot of comfort and peace in me.

By the way, thanks be to God that her condition is improving. She has two more radiotherapy sessions to go. In two weeks' time, she has to go for another scan after the last session and we would know by then whether the tumour is totally gone. I know it will as I believe God will answer my prayer and the prayers of my siblings-in-Christ who have been interceding for mum. I also want this complete healing to be done so that every one who knows about mum's condition can testify how great and real God is.

I have also been quite busy preparing to go back to work again after almost one year of sabbatical. A lot I have encountered during these several months of being away from work and doing other things that I usually cannot get to do if I am teaching. Praise the Lord for the experiences. I will write all that I have learnt from the various adventures next month when I officially end my sabbatical. The preparation I mentioned at the beginning of this particular paragraph is that of attending staff meetings to know what I am going to be doing when I start work again next month. I have been tasked with many responsibilities but I shall look forward to the challenges ahead.

I have also been helping a dear friend as much as I could to prepare for her trip overseas. I have learnt a lot from doing the various stuff and seeing God providing along the way. He has been good in clearing obstacles upon obstacles, right up to the very day she left which was yesterday. She had many to bring over and yesterday when she was checking in, the overall weight for her baggages exceeded what was allowed. Usually in cases like this, the passenger has to pay for the excess baggage. When I was told of this situation, I whispered a prayer immediately for the check-in staff to be lenient and understanding since my friend is a student. The Lord just told me to use this reason to inform the staff. I did just that. Guess what? The staff accepted the reason I gave and did not charge us for the excess. Praise the Lord. After that I shook the hand of the kind gentleman. :) I am also happy that all went well for my friend at the customs. It was tough to bid my friend farewell but thanks be to God for this opportunity that she has, to experience a different lifestyle overseas.

By the time I finish this blog, my friend would have landed and I wish her well in her endeavours ahead. May the Lord continue to lead her and provide for her in everything she does!

One thing I realised I have failed to do is in the area of the missions ministry in which I have been tasked to take care of. Though I am the chairperson, I realised I have not put my heart and soul in looking into the matters concerning the ministry. I do not wish to use this as an excuse but mum's health condition has drained me so much that I find it hard to do other things. Anyway, I have prayed and asked the Lord to recharge me and to give me a fresh beginning to this area of service.

I am now in Ngee Ann City Coffee Bean. It is always great to be here to just write about the Lord's goodness and also to share about the struggles faced in this pilgrim's journey. The staff in this cafe are friendly as always - greeting me with great enthusiasm and punching my orders without asking me what I would like to have since they already know my standard requests. Praise the Lord for every one of them whom to some extent have become my friends. Haha.

Okie, I shall end here as I may be meeting some siblings-in-Christ for dinner. Still waiting for their confirmation which I hope will come soon. I need time to travel to where they intend to eat.

Thanks be to God for the month of July and now for this new month. A lot of adventures ahead but looking forward to them. May God be my help as I go through each and every one of them!

"The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever." Psalm 23

Love The Accuser

I am at the airport now. I am going to send a dear friend off at around 9pm. Since I had nothing to do at home, I thought I come here early to just do some reading and also to write this blog. Time really flies and now my friend is leaving. I remembered we were talking about all the preparations and having a few more months before her departure. Anyway, I am going to miss her as she has been a wonderful friend - always a blessing in my life and I believe, in others as well.

Frankly, I do not really like farewells because to me it is a painful thing. It is always better to have friends, especially those whom I am close with, to be near than far so that it is easier to catch up. Nothing beats meeting up in person to fellowship. I guess there is a season for everything - sometimes facts like friends leaving for studies or to work are inevitable. I guess this is where I thank God for the advancement of technology where there are facilities like Skype, MSN, emails, etc, to maintain the line of communication.

This morning I learnt something about not spoiling someone's day because mine was spoilt by a lady I encountered with at the SingTel shop in Bugis Junction. I went to the shopping centre to change an item at a gift shop and decided to detour to the telecommunications shop to check out some handphone numbers. As the numbers were pinned on the board near the cashier, I had no choice but to squeeze my way through the queue to look at it. A while later, I heard this very hostile voice with this loud remark, "Excuse me!!! What are you trying to do?" I looked at this middle-aged lady and she glared at me. She said that I was standing too close to her when I was actually a few feet away from her. In fact when I was looking at the board, she was not there. Anyway, I told her I was looking at the numbers and she gave me this suspicious look, as if I was going to outrage her modesty by purposely standing too close to her. She continued to stare at me but I ignored her and went on to check out the mobile numbers.

When I turned around to walk away, the fierce lady still gave me that look. I went to her and asked whether she had an issue with me earlier when I was looking at the board. She asked me not to try to be funny and I was puzzled. Anyway, a SingTel staff who had seen me near the board told the lady that I was there before her.

You know, it is people like this lady who sometimes caused others who are innocent to be maligned. The worst thing is, it is a lady's word against that of a man. I was quite irked by this incident. If I had touched her, maybe then it would give her grounds to make certain accusations. I have to confess I had wanted to say something bad which might have hurt the lady's pride but I chose not to. Nonetheless I had to seek the Lord's forgiveness as I had already sinned against Him and the lady by having evil thoughts in my mind.

Anyway, when I was walking out of the shop, I prayed for the lady. I felt better after that.

Well, it was a sad incident but thanks be to God for it anyway.

I guess I shall stop here for now.

"Do not plot harm against your neighbor, who lives trustfully near you. Do not accuse a man for no reason —when he has done you no harm." Proverbs 3:29-30

Earn, Save And Give All You Can

God had a hand in everything I did throughout the day. I went out in the morning to do a couple of things. I went to the hospital to collect some anti-infammatory medicine for my knee - it has been very painful lately. Then I went to the money-changer. It is amazing how I got a good deal from this kind gentleman whom mum has been patronising his business for years especially during those times when she had to travel often. I was shocked this morning when I saw the exchange rate for the currency I had wanted to buy but when I went to the money-changer, he gave me a good deal. Praise the Lord for this man!

It is also amazing to see how God could use another person to prompt me not to buy a particular gift for a friend because yesterday that friend had bought the same kind of item I had in mind of getting today. What is even more amazing was when I spoke to this friend about the item, it was the exact same pattern and colour I saw and was considering.

In the late afternoon, I got a chance to try something new in a skill I acquired a couple of years ago. I thank God all went well and also for the opportunity for me to put it to practice. I was quite nervous and unsure for the past few days whether I would do well since it was my first time using a different tool and method. I prayed about it and all. Praise the Lord He led and guided me accordingly.

My right arm has been rather sore because for three days in a row I went bowling with some youths. I am getting the hang of it and hope to improve further in our future games. I also had a rather good time of fellowship with them.

Yesterday after bowling I went to a shop in Suntec City to collect an item I requested for a one-to-one exchange last week. The management admitted it was a manufacturer's defect and apologised for the inconvenience caused. They were very professional in handling the whole matter and I thank God for His intervention.

I learnt one lesson yesterday at the worship service - "Generous Giving is an Act of Christian Worship." It affirmed in me a struggle I had a couple of days ago where I was wondering whether I have been giving too much. What troubled me was not about what I am losing when giving but more so whether people are comfortable receiving what I give to them.

Of course I should not overdo it. Well, I guess when I feel there is a need to give, I should not think twice but just act accordingly. I always believe God prompts one to give but many times we would want to count the cost first as in both the value as well as whether the person whom we want to give is willing to receive it. By the time we start to rationalise this and that, our energy would have been sapped. After which we decided against acting upon it. In the end the person whom we want to give something to missed out in being blest by God through us.

I was also reminded that though there is a need to save up for rainy days, it should not become a fear instilled upon oneself that there is never enough. I guess so long as there are some amount being saved, the rest should be used for personal expenses and ministry purposes. Well, I know of a sister who works as a full-time worker in a church who once told me that she does not have much in her bank account because she knows God would always continue to provide. Whatever she earns she will keep some for herself and her family and the rest are for others. It is a tough thing to do but that is the joy of giving, I guess.

"Earn all you can, save all you can and give all you can." A saying in John Wesley's sermon on giving which makes a lot of sense and have a lot of power if put to action!

Praise the Lord for this day!

"Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will not be exhausted, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Luke 12:33-34

Placing Our Lives Upon God's Altar

This morning I brought mum to the hospital to check on the swell. The doctor did an x-ray and after examined mum's head, he said there is probably a little blood clot. He said it has to be monitored and if the swell does not subside after one week, he will have to drain it out, just in case if it affects the brain. He also told us to keep a watch on mum's condition - at any time if she is unwell, he advised us to bring her in for another check-up.

Well, it is a wait-and-see situation - sometimes I do not like this kind of scenario as it keeps one in suspense and lately, there is enough of it that I feel too tired to handle them.

Anyway, I am thankful that there was no crack of the skull and the doctor said it would just be a minor procedure to drain the clot. He did warn that we take precuationary measures so as to minimise the possibility of another fall. Though I agreed with him, I really do not know how else to prevent it. I mean, mum can fall anytime and anywhere... so how to ensure these kinds of accidents do not happen again? Maybe the best measure is to pray. Maybe I should pray that there will not be another fall again. Previously I did pray but what I asked of the Lord was that should mum fall, that it would not be a serious one. I guess I should also pray that He strengthens mum's legs. Well, we shall see.

I am now in Ngee Ann City Coffee Bean. I decided to get out of the house for a breather. It is sad that I have to go out to be refreshed but I really need it. Initially I was planning to run some errands but some youths asked me to join them for a game of bowling. I shall do that and maybe release some of my stress by rolling those heavy balls and strike the pins down.

I did not sleep well last night - in fact, I dozed off on the couch in my living room while reading. Once in while I would wake up. Twice when that happened, I saw my parents' room-lights were on and I went in to find out whether all was okay. I am glad nothing happened - mum just needed to go to the restroom during those two occasions.

I am not prepared for my service tomorrow as a drummer. It is hard to give thanks since yesterday but I am trying. This morning when I spent some time in prayer before sending mum to the hospital, I was reminded of the song that I was given during the Worship Team devotion to reflect on. The words read...

Upon Your Altar

Verse:
Holy Father, we humbly bow to worship.
God, the Son, with grateful heart of praise.
Holy Spirit, please work Your power amongst us on this day
as we purpose to serve You and obey.

Chorus:
Upon Your altar, O Lord,
we place our lives
as a holy, acceptable sacrifice of praise.
Upon Your altar, O Lord,
we place our lives
as a holy acceptable sacrifice of praise.

Well, it is my prayer and desire that I will be a holy acceptable sacrifice of praise to the Lord tomorrow as I play. I guess I will just have to place my life and my family's upon the altar and trust that God will continue to take care of us.

Alright, time to stop for now.

"Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise—the fruit of lips that confess his name. And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased." Hebrews 13:15-16

"Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray. Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of praise. Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective." James 5:13-16

A Difficult Pilgrim's Journey

When I came home just a while ago, I was told by dad that mum had a fall yet again. Sigh. She was walking down the stairs to the void-deck for a walk with dad when she missed a step and fell backwards. What else can I say? Having two falls in a span of a couple of days is quite alarming for me.

The back part of mum's head bumped against the railings - I was angry that no one informed me about the accident. Even when I came home, no one told me about it immediately. It was only when I asked dad why mum slept so early that he updated me.

I quickly went to examine her head and could see a slight swell. I guess I will have to bring her to see the doctor again tomorrow. I am so tired having to deal with this time and again. Not that I am blaming mum but I am basically just exhausted. When will this ever stop?

Dad reasoned that it was not a serious matter but I told him for a person like mum who is suffering from cancer, any fall or accident is serious enough to warrant extra precaution. Already her body is weak and if she is constantly subjected to falls, it will further weaken her and that will not help in her general physical well-being. I really hate to nag but in times like these, how can I not to?

I hope the swell will subside tomorrow. I also asked dad to monitor mum over the night - that if she vomits or feels giddy that we immediately send her to the Accident and Emergency Department. I am praying that she will be fine. Sigh.

Sometimes I really wonder what God is trying to do with my life. Can He not see that I am drained? Has He not heard my plea for help to deliver mum and the family from this cancer ordeal? Even if He wants us to learn something from this, when then does the learning stops? I know learning is a life-long process but surely one needs to rest and not be over-loaded with lessons.

I dare not even think of what is to come next - will there be another accident? Will there be another illness? Will there be more interrupted sleep for me? Will I always have to suffer in this life that I live here on earth? When will suffering stop other than facing death in the eye?

I just came back from the Worship Team rehearsal - we are encouraged to give thanks in all circumstances. Yes, I have been doing it but sometimes in moments like what I have mentioned above, it is just so tough. How to?

Anyway, I should just shut up for now. I apologise for sounding as if I have doubt about God. I am not - I am just frustrated, burned out physically, emotionally and mentally, impatient, etc.

Time to go wash up and let some cold water wake my stupid ideas up and refresh me. Looks like it is going to be a tough weekend ahead. So be it.

Never knew this pilgrim's journey is so hard to travel on. I do not mind trotting it but just give me some chance to recuperate before the next trial comes. I need it!

Gossips Hurts And Destroys

I am now in Suntec City Coffee Bean. I decided to come here to check my emails and also to do my reading. I met another of my accountability group at Raffles City. When we ended at around 9:15am, it was still early for all retail outlets to be opened. Since I need to go to one of the shops in this shopping centre, I thought I might as well spend the time doing something meaningful like the first sentence I mentioned.

I enjoyed the time of fellowship with my brothers-in-Christ as we shared about the joy and struggles of life, offering one another lessons that we have learnt in which can be applied in the current situations we are in. I also find these times refreshing and also assuring, knowing that I am not going through my walk alone but having my siblings-in-Christ around to support me. It makes my pilgrim's journey easier to travel especially when the going gets tough.

I was reminded of something regarding helping one another especially in our weaknesses and struggles in life. One sad thing we always do (Christians are equally guilty of this) is that we always talk about the character-flaws of a person behind his or her back but never go beyond the desire to help them - sometimes having to confront, if there need be. We would also go to a point where we speak as if the person is beyond hope of turning for the better. I was just thinking how different are we to these people whom we are talking bad about? To me, we are basically the same. The fact that we gossip already speak a lot about our own flaws. Who are we then to speak of others'?

Being in an accountability group showed me that we can and should help one another in our struggles - to put to action what we are talking about so that we can grow together and overcome the shortcomings of our lives. We can talk all we want about the faults of another and it will always be the same unless something is done about it. If there is no desire to help the person whom we have something against, then just keep quiet and save ourselves from sinning against God. I hope the next time when we want to talk about someone's flaws without the intention to help the person, think it in such a way that we are no better than him or her should we fall into the trap of gossipping.

Well, I am learning to overcome the above-mentioned myself. This is the current thought I have, hence I decide to include it in this blog.

Time for me to stop. The shops are about to open.

Have a blessed day, everyone!

"A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much." Proverbs 20:19

"Furthermore, since they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, he gave them over to a depraved mind, to do what ought not to be done. They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; they are senseless, faithless, heartless, ruthless. Although they know God's righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them." Romans 1:28-32

God Will Make A Way

Today has been a day of uncertainty but in the end all turned out well. It was exactly how I prayed for the Lord to help me - to make things fall in place eventually.

After I woke up and washed up a little, I mopped the whole house. As I was waiting for a sms, I decided to do some housework first. I also cooked lunch for grandma and my parents - made some of their favourites like sambal prawns, steamed brocolli with mushroom-based sauce and of course lots of garlic. I also made boiled winter-melon soup with pork-ribs used as the stock.

As I was rushing to collect something from a friend, I did not really spend much time with my family over lunch - I just had a bowl of rice and a bit of the dishes. I was not planning to have lunch outside but when my friend asked me to join her and two other brothers-in-Christ for a meal, I decided to do so, mainly for fellowship. I did not eat much though as I was already quite full. We all had Thai food which was good.

Anyway, the rest continued with a conference they were attending while I decided to head for the Esplanade Library to read my book and also to listen to some classical music. Then I got a call from the shop that I was supposed to collect an item from - the laundry staff told me he has yet to locate the item and requested for an extended grace period. I told him to try his best as I knew he had to search through many piles of clothings to locate the item for me.

An hour or so passed and I decided to head for Orchard Road to check out a few things. Then another call came while I was in the train and the same staff informed me that it might be impossible to locate the item by today. He said he would try his best and we hung up. I was exceptionally pleased with his service.

I also had to make a few other calls regarding some enquiries while walking around town. Then the friendly staff called me the third time and said the item I was looking for has been sent for laundry based on the record he checked. I went on with my window-shopping. Guess what? The fourth call came and this time I was told the item has not been sent for washing yet. It was quite funny as in how the staff explained that it was a huge mess at where he was and I told him not to worry.

I went to Henderson Road to collect the item - took me a while to locate the shop as it was an industrial estate. I shook the hand of the gentleman who took so much effort to help me out. After that I went back to town area to have the item returned to the shop where it was bought from. This is to allow the company to do some investigations on it as to whether there was a manufacturer's defect.

When all that was done, I headed for Bugis. I bought some fruits back and while I was heading towards the bus-stop, I saw a middle-aged couple quarrelling. I prayed for them as I walked on. I hope they have patched up.

I came home and had dinner. After that it was ironing time and as usual, there was this mountain of clothes that I needed to conquer - I think climbing Mount Everest would have been much easier. Anyway, I prayed as I ironed and as time went by, the mountain became a hill and eventually it was gone. Thanks be to God.

Did I learn anything from all that I have written above? Yes, God makes level all mountains and valleys so that I can trot my pilgrim's journey easier - not that there will not be any trouble but that God is always there to make things lighter for us to bear.

I woke up wondering whether I could settle the exchange of the item by today (initially I thought it would not happen), prayed about it and now as I look back, God's hand was in it all these while. Thanks be to Him!

Alright, time to rest now - I have to be up early to be at City Hall MRT to meet another group of brothers for a time of fellowship over breakfast. I did not meet them the last time - looking forward to the time of accounting our lives to one another.

Good night, everyone. Sleep tight!

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

God's Word - What's It To Us?

When I was on my way home in the train, I was observing this two-year old boy. He was playing with his father. I could also tell that he was testing a few things with his dad as in whether he could get away with them by going against his father's instructions or wishes.

Whenever this boy did something right, the father would smile and give him a pat on the head. Each time he did something wrong and displeasing, his dad would ask the boy to open his palm and he would give him a gentle smack. After that the father would explain to him what is the right thing to do.

Of course the boy did not almost immediately understand what his father was teaching him. Over time, he will learn and do the right thing though. This can only happen when he listens to his father, who bothered to lead and guide. It also happens because there is a relationship between the two individuals.

The above incident reminded me of what my accountability group members were sharing earlier when we met to fellowship over dinner, as in how sometimes we struggle to read God's Word - not having the desire to do so. The group is trying to help each other to read the Bible as that is God's spoken Word in writing. If we do not read, how would we know then to lead our lives in a manner pleasing in God's sight and also as a testimony to those around us?

God took the effort to give us His Word so that it serves as a lamp unto our feet and a light to our path. How would we know God better if we do not read about Him? If one does not have the desire to read His Word, it speaks a lot about the individual's relationship with God and also the pursuits of his life on this earth.

It is sad to see many Christians living their walk without the light before them. Sometimes I falter in this area too. We justify that we spend time daily in prayer but what is the point of speaking to God when we do not even know what He would be speaking to us in reply to our requests made? There are many ways God speaks - there is no doubt about that but I know most of the time, it is through His Word that we know the answers to our prayers.

The Word is sharper than any two-edged sword but most of the time, what a Christian carries in his hand is a weapon of destruction, not against evil principalities and sins but instead it is capable only in destroying his own life and others - that weapon is called human wisdom and understanding. We always think we know best when in actual fact, we are clueless about life - hence we are always experimenting. Why waste time and hurt ourselves doing that when the Word already gives clear instructions as to how we can live life to the fullest?

Have we also considered using the Word to bless the lives of others? This thought just came as I was typing the above paragraph. Yes, sometimes reading a Bible passage may not be applicable to us at that particular point of time but it may speak to another whose life is going through a time of crisis or discouragement or loss or pain/hurt or uncertainty or struggle. Use it to touch that person. Doing so will cause the both parties to see the power of the Word in action!

As I am writing all of the above-mentioned, I am also kicking myself in the butt to wake up my ideas.

Well, who do we choose to listen - God's voice or ours?

I played with the boy towards the last few stations before mine. A cute lad. Sometimes he seemed all set to run out of the train each time it reached a station but he knew it was the wrong thing to do and he did not. He then looked at parents and me, giggled and continued with his hide-and-seek game with me. Guess where he was hiding? Behind the metal bars in the middle of the train carriage. When I was about to alight, he said bye and I returned it with a wave and a smile. Thanks be to God for that boy.

"For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart." Hebrews 4:12

"My son, do not despise the LORD's discipline and do not resent his rebuke, because the LORD disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in." Proverbs 3:11-12

"All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work." 2 Timothy 3:16-17

God Has A Sense Of Humour

I brought mum for her treatment in the morning. I decided to also ask the doctor to check on her back. They did an x-ray on her and found no abnormalies. Praise the Lord. While waiting for her I basically went to Botanic Gardens to spend some time in quiet. I took the time to pray and also to write some thoughts down in my journal.

I was just evaluating why yesterday I felt a little lousy and I guess it is a combination of stuff - mainly mum's fall the day before, my struggle as to how much care and concern I should show to my siblings-in-Christ and friends (sometimes I feel I am over-doing things for people), my role as a Missions Ministry chairperson (I know I have not put my heart and soul into this because of mum's health issue and also fatigue in general) and also wondering about my stand-by next week (an obligation all men in Singapore have towards the nation) whether I would be called up.

Anyway, I submitted all the above-mentioned to the Lord. I was also praying for a few people and while doing that, I received a prompting to do something for someone. I followed up on it after sending mum home. I am thankful there may be some fruit from the enquiry made when I went to the shop where the item was bought. I basically need the Lord to now speak to the management whether the product can be exchanged on a one-to-one basis as it was, to a large extent, due to manufacturer's defect.

Something funny happened in the process of doing the above-mentioned. Initially I thought this product was bought from another shop. I actually called my ex-army friend who now works for that company. He was kind and helpful enough to see how he could assist. As I do not have the product number, I basically described to him the colour and all. We hung up after discussing all the options and to follow up on it when I have more details.

Then I went to the shop where I thought the product was bought from and could not find it. I even described it to the salesperson. Initially I thought that design was sold out and told them it was alright. I was about to go to another retail outlet to enquire when it dawned upon me that it might not have been purchased from that shop. True enough, the item was bought from another shop. I felt so bad that I actually called my ex-army friend to apologise. We both laughed about it.

So much for this funny incident. Eventually I hope I can have the item replaced. Well, I am now in Starbucks Cafe in Suntec City. Since I am here and there is free wireless access, I thought I just blog a little before I meet some brothers-in-Christ for a time of fellowship over dinner. I also need to run some errands.

Well, I guess God has a good sense of humour - knowing that I am a little down, He allowed the above incident to lighten things up and to bring a smile to my face. Thanks be to Him for that!

Alright, I shall stop here and move on with my errands. On with my day's adventure - whatever that is left of it.

"Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." 1 Peter 5:6-7

We Are All Imperfect

I went to watch a play just now called "Happy Endings: Asian Boys Volume 3." The topic was on gayism. Just as much as the acting was good and entertaining, I must say I struggled with the contents in there. I feel this way because of my religious beliefs but I do not shun this group of my fellow human beings. I have no right to judge them because I am imperfect myself. Well, I shall leave it as that for now.

I went to donate blood in the afternoon. The insertion of the needle this time round is exceptionally painful - the nurse who attended to me was trying to navigate the needle. She was unsuccessful in the initial attempts. When she finally found the vein, I think she inserted the needle beyond the boundary where the painkiller was administered. Even now, my arm is still sore and stinging. It is also a little swollen. Anyway, I hope that bag of blood will help someone in need.

After the donation, I went to town to check on the boy whom I was ministering to yesterday. He has started work and I was happy to see him in his McDonalds' outfit. He may be posted to another branch but for now he stays at the one in Orchard.

A friend sounded me off that the boy may have to compensate for the DVDs I asked him to destroy - for me, that is the least of my concern because I want him to take responsibility for his actions. He should know what he did was wrong and this is the consequences. If he does not want to lose more money in future, then he should not commit this mistake again. I may sound insensitive in what I have mentioned - what would you do if you were in my position? Well, I will be meeting him again in a couple of days' time and shall follow-up on the compensation issue.

I shall sleep soon. Tomorrow is mum's seventh radiotherapy session. She informed me this morning that her back ached a little - I guess it must have been from the fall. I will monitor her condition tomorrow - if there is still the soreness, I guess I will have to let the doctor check on that.

I was running around town after meeting the boy to collect a couple of forms from a few banks. Learnt a couple of new things about banking in the process. Well, praise the Lord I managed to get the information I needed.

Alright, time to stop here. I am feeling a little lousy today but thanks be to God anyway.

"Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. "Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." Luke 6:36-38

One At A Time

I had an interesting encounter with a 16-year old boy when I was walking along the pedestrian tunnel from Shaw Brothers Building at Scotts Road to the Orchard MRT station yesterday. This boy was peddling illegal DVD-movies to the passers-by. Initially I walked past him without batting an eye-lid but as I walked on, I felt the need to reach out to him.

I turned back and approached him. As I was stern with him, I told him to pack his things up and walk with me to the MacDonalds Cafe for a drink. He obediently listened to what I instructed him.

I asked him why he needed to do such illegal stuff and he gave the reason that he needed more pocket money. Then I asked him why he did not want to earn them the legal way and he said no one would want to employ him. I told him if I could find him a job, would he be interested? He said it is impossible.

Since we were in MacDonalds itself, I called for the manager and enquired about the employment opportunities for students and whether there were any vacancies. I was told there were and immediately I told the boy to submit his name and contact number. I explained to the manager what I was trying to do and she told me she would take it from there. I also gave her my contact number so that should this boy resigned from his work that I be informed about it. She agreed.

After all the paper-work was done, I asked the boy to break all the DVDs that he was holding on. He did that and threw them into the dustbin. Well, before we departed I told him to do two things - make sure he does not neglect his studies while trying to earn more money and to not get himself into illegal matters anymore. I could only advise him these but the rest is up to him whether he wants to listen or not. I prayed for him as I walked to Kinokuniya Bookstore.

I felt I needed to do the above-mentioned because of his tender age when he should be concentrating on enjoying his youth and not let illegal activities ruin his future. I do not know how others would do if they were in my shoes but at that point, I saw the need to help him see that his actions were wrong and that I should go a step further to also show him that nothing is impossible so long as one tries.

Well, I know I cannot help every one in this world but if I can just make a difference in one or two lives a day, that is enough, I guess.

Anyway, while I was at the bookstore, two dear brothers called me to join them for dinner and I decided to fellowship with them over meal. We also went to Minds Cafe in Selegie Road to play some board games with a couple of other siblings-in-Christ. Praise the Lord for the time we had.

I guess I shall stop here. A very interesting day I had the whole of yesterday. Thanks be to Him once again.

"Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Does he not leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, 'Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.' I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent." Luke 15:4-7

A Day Of Plentiful Changes

I just finished making a presentation - part of a curriculum planning that I am involved in for the new semester which is coming up next month. Anyway, I thought I had the day planned out but everything changed along the way.

I was only told about this meeting last night and the secretary apologised when she realised I was supposed to be involved in the discussion. As I have been on sabbatical, it slipped her mind that I will be coming back mid-September.

Anyway, I had to change an afternoon appointment so that I can fit in this meeting. Though it was an inconvenience but I thank God that I had all the details prepared last week. I had actually wanted to do the preparations this week but decided that I might as well get them over and done with last Thursday.

After the presentation, I was supposed to meet a colleague for tea but it was cancelled because she has another meeting at 4pm later.

Another appointment to have dinner with a friend was also cancelled just about an hour ago because the restaurant I had wanted to bring her to is closed for renovation. Anyway, she has a couple of things to do as well - I thought it is important for her to finish them.

Well, suddenly I have nothing to do. I guess I shall just pop by Kinokuniya and Borders to check out some books and perhaps walk around town area.

What I have related above has taught me something - that man can plan all he wants but at the end of the day, it may not always fall in place. I guess it is the same as man trying to plan everything he can for his life here on earth but who knows tomorrow what will happen to his plans or to him, for that matter.

During the meeting earlier, a few uncalled comments were made about my presentation by a certain individual when what he had mentioned could have been read and understood in an email I sent out last week after I was done with my planning. He kept denying that he did not receive the attachment when others have already read my articles. My boss also showed him that his email address was on the list. I was on the verge of shooting him down but I prayed within me and asked the Lord to help me help this colleague of mine in understanding my concept. Well, when the meeting was over, the both of us stayed in the conference room and I passed him a set of my write-up. I told him I would answer any queries as he read on. Well, none was asked and we departed after 15 minutes.

What discouraged me was the way he made it sound as if I did not do my work when I had actually done it way before I knew this meeting was scheduled for today. I learnt something from this incident - do not put people down unneccesarily even when you think you have the right to do so. It could have been resolved if he had enquired right at the start of my presentation whether the articles have been circulated in advance and perhaps request for a set if he did not have them.

Anyway, so much for that. This morning when I was still in bed, I heard like someone had fallen in the kitchen area. I quickly got up and true enough, mum was seated on the toilet floor and the aluminium door was detached from the hinges (I thank God that the door did not fall on her) - I guess it happened when mum was trying to grab on to something while she was slipping. She was trying to wash the pooh-tray for my doggy. When I saw all that had happened, I was angry within me as mum should have known better to leave all these to the rest of us to handle. But as I was about to make certain remarks, I felt a nudge to just keep quiet. What's the point when mum had already fallen and that little accident could have already affected her physically and mentally. Why make matters even worse by adding more comments? I am glad she is okay.

Well, a day of surprises for me. I guess I shall leave my office now. Thanks be to God for making this day an 'interesting' one.

To man belong the plans of the heart, but from the LORD comes the reply of the tongue. Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed. In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps." Proverbs 16:1, 3 & 9

"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." Proverbs 15:1

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near." Philippians 4:4-5

Thank God For Fathers!

This morning I was at the Youth Ministry and we were discussing about fathers. I have written so many blogs that I cannot remember whether I have typed something on this topic. Anyway, I shall share my thoughts tonight.

I grew up in a family where it was dad who took care of my daily needs right from when I was a babe. Mum was quite a workaholic with her sports equipment business to the point where dad took over the role of a mother.

When I was hungry in the middle of the night, it was dad who took care of me. When I was doing my lower primary education, it was dad who walked me to school. During the weekends, it was dad who brought me out to watch movies without fail. When I was being punished by mum who was a disciplinarian in the family, it was dad who stood up for me and sometimes shielded me from the canes and slaps from mum. It is quite interesting that there is a role-reversal between my parents. When I wanted something like toys or certain gadgets, he would get them for me most of the trime. When I was sick, it was dad who sacrificed his sleep to take care of me, ensuring that my temperature was kept in check and that my medication was taken punctually. I remember clearly how sometimes I saw his red eyes when taking care of me during the period of my kidney ailment. I guess it was painful for him to see his own son down with a medical problem.

I was quite close with dad when I was younger but as I grew older and as I mixed with bad companies during my upper primary education, we grew further apart. Though I have disappointed him many times, he did not bear any grudge but still loved me as before. We do have our differences - I guess that is common between two parties.

Anyway, now that dad has retired, I am trying my best to spend time with him as oft as I can. It is an effort but it is always worth the while when we managed to go out for a drink or when we accompany mum to the hospital. I am already an adult but dad still calls occasionally when I am out, asking whether I have eaten and always caution me to take care of myself wherever I go. Sometimes a little naggy but then I am more touched than irked by his kind gesture.

I am not trying to boast writing this but my caring nature comes from my father but at the same time a weakness also manifests itself from this characteristic - that is we both can be too naggy at times. We mean well generally but sometimes we put people off when we over-care. Haha. I am learning to strike a balance.

So much for my earthly father. I am glad to also know my heavenly Father. Though sometimes dad fails in certain areas, one thing about my Father in heaven is that He never fails me because He is a perfect Father. Though I have learnt from dad quite a bit over the years, nothing can beat the abundant lessons I can learn from Jesus. Dad is afterall a human himself and he has his shortcomings - whatever I cannot learn from him, I will get that from my loving Father. He (Jesus) has a lot of godly characteristics in which I am still trying to attain. I shared these with a youth group today. The passage is taken from 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. I basically challenged the youths to replace the word "love" with that of their names and see whether they have those characteristics. If no, then I told them to ask the Lord to help them practise these traits in their lives.

Another passage is taken from Galatians 5:22-23 where it spoke about the fruit of the Spirit.

Well, if ever I get the chance to be a father, I would like to be like dad and Dad. They have taught me much and I will put to practice these that I have learnt with my children.

May the Lord be my help in the above desire. Thanks be to God for my father and Father! If not for them I would not have been who I am today. My Father is still very much dealing with my life and it will be ongoing even till I die, I guess.

I was with the youths for a game of touch-rugby. Many turned up and I was encouraged by that. A dear sister and I took turn to referee the games. It was fun as usual but every one was super-dirty after everything was over. Some of us had dinner together and we had a good time of fellowship together. I praise the Lord for the bonding and I look forward to more of this in the near future.

Time to sleep. I hope I can though. Another brand new week - well, I shall cherish it as I go through each day. There is a mix of happiness and sadness as I think about the days ahead. Well, I am sure God will help me deal with them as they come by.

Good night, every one!

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law." Galatians 5:22-23

God Created Me Unique

Have you ever wanted to be someone else? Have you ever tried copying someone in terms of his or her dressing/style, accent, likes, dislikes, etc? Yesterday I was at the second night of the Radio Bible Class (RBC) Ministry Bible Conference in St. Andrew's Cathedral and I was reminded to be myself.

I have always wanted to be like Tom Cruise who has got the looks. After watching the movie, "Top Gun," where he acted as a fighter jet pilot, I told myself I am going to be like him. Then I looked in the mirror, I realised it is quite impossible: he's a Caucasian and I am a Chinese; he's got the sharp features and I have the round ones; he's got the six-pack and I have the six-in-one pack; he's tall and I am just an average-height chap.

For a period of time, I felt lousy about the way I look and what I was. Though I have learnt to overcome that, there is no denial that sometimes I still wish I can be someone else. I guess it is a human thing. I also realised that whenever I turn my focus off God, then I become shakey in terms of who and what I am.

I am thankful that I got to know Jesus Christ and over the years in my growing up as a Christian, I learnt to accept myself. In fact, I was reminded last night that I am created unique so that my life can touch those around me when I exercise the gifts and talents God has given me.

At the end of the day, it is not the way I look but what I am inside that can make a difference in the lives of others. At the same time, it is also what is inside that can put people off. I guess I have to always make a conscious effort to watch myself. Wait! Let me add on to that - I think so long as I desire to know God, then my life will naturally become Christ-like and it should bless lives rather than blast lives. Right?

If I can use the uniqueness God has made me to be, why should I want to be someone else? I guess the one and only Person I should want to copy is Jesus Christ Himself. Why should I want to be like another human when I should desire for the Creator who made every human?

Well, it was a good wake-up call for me yesterday. I am Andy Chew. I am given gifts and talents and I will use them to minister to others. I still put people off occasionally because of my weaknesses/shortcomings but I am learning to overcome them bit by bit. Bear with me, every one.

It is quite amazing that a couple of days ago, I was struggling with the issue of my life repelling others more than attracting. I guess God wants to jolt me and not let this affect what I can be and do. May His name be glorified in my words, thoughts and deeds.

Today has been a long day for me. I got a lift to church from a dear brother who came by to pick something up for another friend. Then I had to go to Marina Bay to help set up some stuff for the National Day rehearsal. Then I went to meet a dear brother and sister to plan with them their wedding which will be held at the end of the year. Then it was back to Marina Bay again. When everything was in order, I left before the rehearsal commenced. I shopped alone around town and bought a couple of things. As my left knee was feeling a little painful, I decided to go home.

Well, thanks be to God for sustaining me through this day!

"But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:7-14

Let Us Be Both Mary And Martha

I attended a talk at St. Andrew's Cathedral organised by the Radio Bible Class (RBC) Ministries - the organisation that brings us "The Daily Bread" devotional guide. The talk is for women but men are welcomed to attend. The theme was on "Making Choice Choices" and the speaker is Professor Alice Mathews. The teaching session is held over two days - Thursday and Friday at 7:30pm.

Some of you may be asking what does the theme mean? How come a same word appears twice? Well, in the English Language, the word "choice" has two meanings - one refers to a decision that an individual has to make; the other refers to excellence. In other words, the theme also means, "Making Excellent Choices." Just playing of words by Prof. Mathews.

Anyway, there were two sermons being taught and I would like to share the second one. I will try my best to make it as clear as possible.

The message was on Mary and Martha (Luke 10:38-42) where many preachers like to use this passage to make a comparison - they always seemed to be preaching that Mary was doing the right thing and Martha was doing the wrong thing.

Today's talk debunks the right and wrong issue and I was deeply blest by the way Prof. Mathews explained it. What Martha did was not wrong - her actions were okay but it was her attitude that needed to be changed. In the midst of her doing, she allowed her busyness to get the better of her. In the end, it led to her feeling frustrated and discouraged when her work is not being noticed by others. On the other hand, Mary seemed to have made the right choice of sitting down to listen to Jesus. The speaker stressed that Mary did not choose the better but she simply chose what was good and beneficial.

Then Prof. Mathews led the congregation to the verse before this passage, found in Luke 10:27. She was correcting our understanding of service/ministry. The Mary and Martha analogy was about this very verse she pointed out.

She taught that in order to serve God, it is important for the individual to know Him first-hand and be blest by His Word. Only then will his attitude be right and that he can be more effective in his service.

The other lesson I learnt was this - service is not just about doing. When we choose to love God first as mentioned in verse 27 of Luke Chapter 10 and understand fully what His love is about, will we then know how to show love to others through our service/ministry.

We need to be a Mary first and then a Martha - let us choose to listen to God first and learn more about Him (Mary) and then after that, put to action through our service (Martha).

Many Christians run out of steam in their service simply because they are not communing with God enough daily through the reading of His Word and in prayer. Ministry and knowing God must run concurrently. The latter gives energy and sustenance to the former and when a Christian keeps doing that, his strength will always be renewed. He will also find joy in his service because he knows he is first doing for God and also doing it to bless others what he has been blest with.

Let us be both Mary and Martha in our service! That is a choice choice a servant of God can ever make.

I hope I make sense in what I have written above.

"Now it happened as they went that He entered a certain village; and a certain woman named Martha welcomed Him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who also sat at Jesus’ feet and heard His word. But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she approached Him and said, “Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me.” And Jesus answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:38-42

"He answered: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'" Luke 10:27

Which Is More Important?

I am now in Ngee Ann City Coffee Bean. I am in a limbo now - I am actually feeling a little unwell. I feel lethargic and my body is aching. Later I will be attending a talk in St. Andrew's Cathedral. I want to go for the seminar but at the same time I know I should go home and rest since I am feeling a little whoozie. Anyway, I think I should be well soon - just consumed two panadols given to me by the cafe staff.

Funnily I could not sleep this morning. I tossed and turned in my bed but still could not enter into slumberland. In the end, I just surfed the net. I only managed to sleep at 4am and woke up at around 9am. I was supposed to bring mum to the specialist to check her sugar level - in the end, my brother brought her instead.

Earlier I was running some errands and doing some shopping. As I did not have the energy to go all out, I decided to go to the cafe to have my usual Ultimate Ice Blended. I just finished my reading and thought I blog a little.

As I am typing now, I am actually being entertained by a conversation by these two ladies sitting next to my table. I would love not to eavesdrop but they are talking so loudly that it is hard to do so. One of them is talking about this man in her department who is interested in her. I am not particularly thrilled by what they are talking about. Instead there is this tinge of sadness.

The lady whom the man is interested in is not reciprocating. From what I gathered, it has nothing to do with his character because I did not really hear any of that being mentioned except that he is generally a sweet guy . Instead the reasons she is not interested are: he is just a mere manager; does not own a car; does not go clubbing; and the shirt he wears is from G2000 (I do not know how she knows that though). It did not help that her friend actually agreed that he is not suitable for her. Of course I do not have the full picture but what I heard so far caused me to conclude that the man's character does not matter to these two ladies. The important thing is the material possessions that he owns.

Well, every one is entitled to their opinions but it is disheartening to hear about the above-mentioned. It is no doubt that a certain amount of material possession is important for the sustenance of oneself but it should not at the end of the day be the main factor in accepting someone.

I cannot deny that I have judged the two ladies. I seek the Lord's forgiveness in that but I sure hope my friends do not accept me for what I have but more so for who I am. Every one may not be perfect in terms of character but I feel that is more important than anything else. Is there no life and joy if one is poor?

Anyway, just my thoughts. I shall stop here for now.

"Someone in the crowd said to him, "Teacher, tell my brother to divide the inheritance with me." Jesus replied, "Man, who appointed me a judge or an arbiter between you?" Then he said to them, "Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions." And he told them this parable: "The ground of a certain rich man produced a good crop. He thought to himself, 'What shall I do? I have no place to store my crops.' "Then he said, 'This is what I'll do. I will tear down my barns and build bigger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods. And I'll say to myself, "You have plenty of good things laid up for many years. Take life easy; eat, drink and be merry." ' "But God said to him, 'You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?' "This is how it will be with anyone who stores up things for himself but is not rich toward God." Luke 12:13-21