Monday, May 11, 2009

My Help Comes From The Lord

I visited mum in the afternoon and was concerned for her inability to urinate and pass motion. She tried very hard to do them naturally when a nurse brought her to the toilet but could not. In the end a catheter had to be used to help her discharge the waste.

My heart went out to her when I saw how she was trying her best to do the above-mentioned which are so easy for a healthy individual. To know that she could do this about a week and a half ago (before she had her stroke) pains me even more.

Again I felt so helpless. All I could do was to ask God to help her. Tears just rolled down when I could not take it anymore. As I did not want mum to be affected by my reaction to her suffering, I excused myself to somewhere quiet to pray and ask God for His mercy and grace upon her.

Dad told me he is feeling tired. I asked him to go home and rest but he said he will stay with mum till evening. I can see how exhausted he has been since mum's admission. When I was praying, I asked God to give dad extra strength so that he can pull through this difficult period.

I am blogging this in the library as I needed to go somewhere quiet to gather my thoughts. It can be quite depressing going home lately - every one is down; even my doggy is sad - she has been sleeping on my parents' bed, the side where mum usually lies on. Whenever I tried to explain to her what happened to mum and where she is now, Sasha would just droop her head and look at me talk to her. I am so tempted to just smuggle her into the hospital because mum misses her loads too.

Anyway, I shall stop here, pack up and go home. I still have to face reality and try to move on with life.

"I lift up my eyes to the hills — where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth." Psalm 121:1-2

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