Strife Is Meaningless!

I reached home not too long ago from the Worship Team rehearsal. I am leading worship this Sunday. Due to all the busyness and physical exhaustion I have been going through lately, it was quite difficult to really focus and give my all. Thanks be to God though for pulling me through the practice. Everything went well actually.

Usually I would look forward to Sunday but when I left the Worship Hall just now, it was more of I wanted to rest than being excited about what the team and I are going to do in two days' time.

Yesterday I shared about how meaningless life can be sometimes trying to meet deadlines and going through the routines. Interestingly one of the team members shared a passage which will be used for this Sunday's sermon and it was a warning.

It is taken from Luke 21:34-36 and it reads, "Be careful, or your hearts will be weighed down with dissipation, drunkenness and the anxieties of life, and that day will close on you unexpectedly like a trap. For it will come upon all those who live on the face of the whole earth. Be always on the watch, and pray that you may be able to escape all that is about to happen, and that you may be able to stand before the Son of Man."

When I read the above passage I was basically admonished to not let the strife of life put me down especially in this age of the end-times where Christians await the coming of Christ. Sadly I am not being watchful but it is a timely reminder and I shall take time soon to reflect and evaluate . Anyway I am due to go on a personal retreat since the last month of the old year of 2007 is just three minutes away.

What I am struggling now shows very clearly how easy one can fall into the hustle and bustle of life that if not kept in check, the individual will sink deeper. By the time he realises it, it would have been too late to get out and naturally the person will just drown and slowly die struggling.

Today a sister-in-Christ passed her driving test and she encouraged me to re-take mine. I will, eventually, but passing a driving test is not really at the top of my priority list as there are so many other important things to consider. Anyway, I cannot bring my driving license when I leave this world so I guess that can wait.

I was singing one song during the rehearsal that I will be using for the 11:15am service. I was touched by the words and I guess the needs mentioned in there should take precedence. Anyway, I need to let go of a lot of things in my life that are no longer as important as they were in the past. So be it. Life goes on and I believe God has more for me to look forward to.

I need to wake up early tomorrow as I have a good friend's wedding to attend. She is one of the few Christian friends I first got to know when I went to church as a 12-year old boy. Since then we (4 of us) grew up in church and still maintained our friendship till now. Thanks be to God that she is getting married.

I doubt it will be a restful weekend for me but I shall look forward to it anyway.

AS BREAD THAT IS BROKEN

VERSE 1:
Many hearts are hungry tonight;
many trapped in darkness, yearn for the light;
so many who are far from home, and many who are lost;
O Lord, Your wounded children need
the power of the cross.

CHORUS:
As bread that is broken, use our lives;
As wine that is poured out, a willing sacrifice.
Empower us, Father, to share the love of Christ.
As bread that is broken, Lord,
use our lives.

VERSE 2:
Help us to begin where we are.
Help us to love the people near to our hearts.
Then give our faith a mission field
wherever You may call,
Lord, love Your world through each of us
until we've touched them all.

Do Not Disturb - Man Resting!

A scary thought just came to mind - I may soon die of a heart attack. I am not kidding because this kind of thing is nothing to joke about. I came home, tired and what I saw was this pile of creased up clothes. Though I needed to get a few other things done, I decided to get the ironing over and done with first.

On top of that, many things are calling out to my attention - at work, top management expects my team to meet deadlines (some running concurrently) for the sake of getting the organisation going; in church, I have been told to handle some matters pertaining to the personal needs of few individuals who have made plans which require immediate actions; at home, I have to meet the needs of grandma, mum and dad.

My chest is feeling tight, my head is a little light, my diarrhoea is still there and I am very sleepy because I only arrived home from work at three this morning and left for office again at 7am. Who is going to meet my needs then? I know God is and I am thankful that He is - otherwise I would have collapsed long time ago. But really? Who has ever spared a thought for me in what I am going through now?

It does not help when I received remarks from people (mainly friends) that I should not be experiencing burnt-out syndrome when I have just returned from my sabbatical. It hurts when I hear this - as if one year of being away from work means I have been shaking my legs and eating grapes fed to me by several waiting maids; as if I am not supposed to feel exhausted because I have been perceived to have received one year of rest.

Have any one considered that during that period, I had to deal with mum's cancer; that I have been doing a course; that I have been on an attachment; that I have been giving my time to church to deal with the ministries I have been entrusted with; that I have been spending time with certain individuals, ministering to them? Surely all these require energy!

It is not really a journey that I want to experience but I have to. At the same time, I also need to rest. If not, I cannot go on any further. Will every one be gracious enough for me to do that without telling me that I have to deal with this and that; that I should not rest because I have rested enough for one year?

I am not going to hide my feelings; frustrations; pains; struggles; exhaustion - whatever you may want to call it - on this blog.

As mentioned in the earlier paragraph, I have to do a few things but I am not going to care anymore. I am going to sleep after I am done with this sharing. The top management; the church leaders; my family can penalise me for all they want but I need my rest. I am not a robot. I have reached my limit and I need to recharge.

I know my blog is read by individuals who are both mature and young in their Christian faith; some may not even be Christians... I am not apologetic in what I have written because in this pilgrim's journey that I am on, there are ups and downs and I guess I am in the latter state now. So be it. All I know is this - I will be on my up again after I am rested enough.

Well, I shall leave the worries of tomorrow to tomorrow. What I am going to do now (today; tonight) is lie on my comfortable single-size bed and sleep!

Good night, world!

"The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever." Psalm 23

Start Early Before It Is Too Late

I happened to walk past the Supreme Court while on my way back from lunch. I noticed a family of five gathered at the entrance and I could hear the commotion between the mother and her son. Her son was no more than 18 years of age and from what I gathered, the teenager was charged for an offence he committed. She was saying things like how she was so disappointed; how she has been humiliated; etc.

As I walked on, my heart went out to this family. I prayed for them and I hope things will eventually get better.

Then a few troubling thoughts came to mind. I am one who loves to play with infants and kids. At this age, many of them are very happy-go-lucky individuals. They are adorable and huggable. As I remembered the family I mentioned above, it just dawned upon me whether the parents of that teenager ever wondered how their child would turn out to be when he was still a baby. Of course now they know it and it may have been a little too late especially for a crime already committed. How then will parents know how their child will be like when they grow up?

I guess they will never know but what these young lives will be learning in their growing up years is crucial in shaping their thoughts and characters. Though I am still a single but loves kids a lot, I think I can also play a part in making a difference in helping mould these lives especially in the way I live my own life.

The youths I am in touch with in church now, many I saw them grow up since they were babies. Some have grown to be God-fearing individuals whereas some I have not seen them for a while already. There are yet a few whom I know are struggling in finding who they are and how they should be fitting into society. Some have become bitter and angry.

Well, the next time I see a boy or a girl, I will say a word of prayer for him or her and just hope that one day they will all grow up to be godly men and women.

Anyway, time for me to get back to work. It will be a long night for my team as we have many things to prepare for a meeting tomorrow.

"Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." Proverbs 22:6

Live A Life Against Logic

It has been 6 days since I last blogged. I have been away on a mission trip to Cambodia. Throughout my stay in this land that my church has adopted, I was unable to get internet access. Well, I guess it was good not to have it available - at least I could concentrate on the plans of the two teams: one a Mission Team and the other a Vacation-With-A-Purpose (VWAP) Team.

I was supposed to be on last night's flight back to Singapore but I was told that the flight was overbooked. Initially there were two of us who were unable to secure a seat home but just before the gate closed, the staff managed to find an available business-class seat.

Initially they wanted us to pay the difference but after telling them that this is not a fault of the passengers for the airline adopting an over-booking policy so as to maximise profits (by minimising chances of empty seats), they agreed to upgrade my sister-in-Christ for free. Praise the Lord for that!

I had no choice but to stay on for another night at a dear sister-in-Christ's place. It did not help that I was unwell. When I got to the missionary's home (thanks to a lift I got from a dear Khmer brother-in-Christ who came all the way from his office to pick me up), I took my temperature and it was running at 39.1 degrees Celsius. I was also down with food poisoning where I purged several times. The fever is gone but the diarrhoea is still there, though not as bad. I sponged myself the whole night through with several cooling gel pads that I bought from a pharmacy before I left. I pasted them all over my face and that caused the fever to subside. It would have been so funny if someone got to see what were on my face. Anyway, thanks be to God that I am better. This is the first time I have fallen sick in the many trips I have made to this country.

Initially I was angry with the airline (which I will not name) for being so irresponsible but as I reflected on it, I saw God's hand in it. I guess it was better for me to stay over in Phnom Penh last night due to my weak bowel. If I had been on the flight, I probably would have to go to the toilet several times.

Moreover the two ground staff working for the airline tried their very best to secure for me a flight back this morning. One was a Singaporean and the other a Khmer. They were very apologetic for the inconvenience caused and it was for this reason that I decided not to name the airline responsible for the delay of my return. It is sad that a company regards profits more than the welfare of its customers. Well, I guess that is what the world is about.

Anyway, the trip throughout went well. Praise the Lord for that! Members from both teams had a great time ministering to certain groups of people: two orphanages and a church that mine is supporting. I am glad some expressed interest to serve further in the mission ministry and I pray the Lord will move these persons to encourage others to go into the harvest fields.

While I was talking to a sibling-in-Christ regarding this ministry, I was reminded that missions is for every Christian and not some. Many times, the majority feels that they are not up to it when in actual fact, they have been commissioned by Jesus to go and make disciples of all nations.

Missions is not about being ready. It is about being available. Once that individual avails himself to God, he will be equipped accordingly. Many times, we did not consider the faith factor where God can work wonders through someone who is willing to just take a step of faith and says, "Lord, here I am, use me." It may sound illogical for someone to go to an unknown land if he is not ready but I guess the Christian faith is about going against human logic. I mean, who in the world would have expected God to send His Son to die for the sins of man when He could have wiped out the whole world just by a snap of His fingers?!

Well, four children went for this trip. One in the Mission Team and the other three in the VWAP Team. God used them to touch the lives of both the young and the old and in a debrief session that I attended, they shared about how God has ministered to them. They were also able to share what are some of the other things that they can do in future when they go again. Yes, these four young lives want to go again because they saw God moving throughout the 5 days.

I also thank God that the members of both teams got to know each other better through doing things together and also through conflicts. Yes, there were conflicts but they were resolved through honest sharing and these situations allowed one party to understand the other deeper. All praise to the Lord for that!

Oh yah, the extra night I spent in Phnom Penh also allowed me to understand the pains of the life of a missionary - remarks made by fellow Christians which were unedifying; the red-tapes of the leadership in churches; financial issues where churches sometimes focus too much on money matters rather than the human needs.

Anyway, I left Cambodia with a tinge of sadness - missing all the friends I have made in this beautiful land once torn by atrocities created by their own people.

I was also affected when I heard about the news of the tragedy faced by the Singapore's Dragon Boat Team who lost 5 of their rowers to a freak accident caused by strong undercurrents. They were in Cambodia to participate in the dragon boat competition - part of the country's Water Festival Celebration. Yesterday I was at the river (Tonle Sap) where the accident happened and I said a prayer for the families of the 5 victims. May the Lord comfort them at this time as they mourn the deaths of their loved ones.

After touching down, I headed straight to church to settle the items I bought for the Christmas Bazaar this weekend. I also needed to prepare the songs for this Sunday's praise and worship at the 11:15am service. Praise the Lord I was able to get both done. I just need to send the songs out to the Worship Team by tomorrow.

The next few days will be very busy for me, both at work and in church. My project team updated me of the things we need to do - just reading the email overwhelmed me. I also need to prepare for this Sunday's commissioning of the missionaries that my church is supporting. This includes a newsletter that I need to do.

Anyway, one thing at a time and eventually all would be completed with God's help.

All glory be to God for the time spent in Cambodia!

"Then Jesus came to them and said, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." Matthew 28:18-20

"Jesus replied, "I tell you the truth, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and it will be done. If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer." Matthew 21:21-22

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." Hebrews 11:1

All Things Will Come To Pass

I wanted to blog after work but I did not. I got home past midnight as I was preparing for a meeting today with my team. I could not even go for the rehearsal for the song item that some friends and I are putting up for another friend's wedding. From the look of it, I may not be able to be involved at all. Next Thursday there is another rehearsal but I am able to attend again due to the Missions Policy Review Committee meeting.

I just finished my team meeting - a super-long session where we started at 9am and ended at around 3pm. We even ordered in lunch and continued discussion as we ate. Though long, the top management has given the team the mandate to decide on the curriculum but we have been told that they may or may not be implemented on the proposed date initially given to us.

Frankly, that is the least of my concern because once we have put the curriculum in place, there is no concern as to when it will be executed since the framework and materials are already there. What the team needs to do now is to continue with the guidelines given to us and just work accordingly. Some of my team members were affected when they heard about the delay but I encouraged them not to feel that way as we still need to do the remaining part of the project. The curriculum will be implemented eventually, just not as initially planned.

I tried to sleep as early as I could but was unable to as I was troubled over some thoughts regarding the review of the Missions Policy that I am currently doing with some leaders of the church. Sometimes I feel it is a waste of time putting in so much effort when eventually the contents will still be questioned by the leadership at large. If that is going to happen, why form a sub-Committee to look into this and waste the time of the members currently involved reviewing the policy? We might as well involve every leader so that every one will have their say.

I am just frustrated. I am not saying that feedback is bad but if I have been entrusted to form a sub-Committee to look into this matter, then give the Committee and I the trust that due considerations and thoughts have been given to the Revised Missions Policy.

I spent some time in prayer when these thoughts came to mind. The peace I got was to continue to give my best for the Lord and let Him deal with other concerns which I have no control of. I guess I will continue to be burdened by this till the Revised Policy is approved by the leadership. That is if it gets approved in January.

Anyway, again that is beyond my control and I shall leave it to God to speak to the rest.

I hope I do not sound critical of the leadership (frankly I am not) - just that lately there are so many things that I have to do to the point where I am weak emotionally, mentally and physically. Spiritually I am still ok - thank God for that.

I am blogging this as it is a real struggle that I am going through now. I need a break soon but I guess it will only come after January.

In order to keep my actions in check, I have decided to take several pit-stops daily to reflect by reading God's Word and in prayer. I need to do this. If not, I will definitely be going through the motion and if not careful, I may stumble the people around us.

Already this morning before I slept after washing up and entertaining certain negative thoughts which I shared above, I was already on the verge of veering off-course. Praise the Lord for His Word to bring me back on track. I hope the Word will continue to be a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.

Well, I am going home immediately after I am done with this blog. I will probably nap before I take some time to prepare for a sermon that I will be preaching on Sunday at Takhmao Trinity Methodist Church in Phnom Penh. I am leaving for Cambodia tomorrow morning. That reminds me that I have yet to pack for the trip. Haha. :)

Anyway, all these will come to pass. I just have to deal with all of the above-mentioned one at a time. I like to remind myself of this as it brings comfort that all these busyness are not permanent but temporal. They will be over eventually!

No matter what, I am looking forward to meeting my Khmer siblings-in-Christ and also the missionaries. I pray the Lord will speak to me as I spend the next five days in a land where He has called me to since Year 2000.

May the Lord go ahead of the two teams going!

"Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path." Psalm 119:105

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving." Colossians 3:23-24

Thank You For The Food We Eat!

My team and I went to Katong to have Peranakan food for lunch. The craving was triggered off when my Pastor-in-Charge (PIC) messaged to inform me that the Trinity Annual Conference meeting that she is currently attending is catering lunch from this place called Guan Hoe Soon which serves nice Peranakan cuisines.

When I read her note, I told myself that I had to eat the delicious food too. I had my favourite dish called "Buah Keluak" - a kind of nut cooked in spicy sauce. I ordered a bowl all to myself. The last time when I went with my PIC to this restaurant for food-tasting for a couple's wedding reception, I was not satisfied with the amount I consumed for the above dish. This time round I do not want to be disappointed again and indeed I was not as I chomped the nuts - digging out the contents from its shells and mixing them with the sauce and rice. Haha.

I am now back in office very contented and full.

The day so far has been rather busy actually. The whole morning my team had to attend this briefing and it lasted three hours. The team was commended and rewarded for a job well done so far in the curriculum-planning. Glory be to God for that! We were given some new tasks to research on. They are not as bad as what we did in the past one and a half months but still effort needs to be put in.

I have another meeting later at 6pm and it is going to be quite long. I actually have a rehearsal for a song item for a friend's wedding. I am crossing my fingers I am able to attend it. Quite slim a chance from the look of it. Sigh.

Anyway, I shall deal with one matter at a time and if I can go, thanks be to God! If I cannot, praise be to Him as well.

I shall get back to work now.

Weaknesses Can Be Overcome

Tomorrow is my doggy's first birthday. Mum wants me to buy Sasha a cake or something that she will enjoy. I am totally clueless as to what sort of treat to give to this little princess of the household. She has been having good stuff every day - what other goodies are there for her? Man, I don't think the phrase "A dog's life" is applicable to her!

Anyway, I went to office in the morning for a meeting and headed home just before lunch as I was on half-day leave in the afternoon to meet a dear friend. She was assisting me with a project and since she is free today, we met up at around 1:30pm to complete the task. She also gave me a super-belated birthday treat. Haha. My birthday was in June. I guess it is good to know that after 5 months, celebration still goes on. Hee.

After finishing the recording, we went to Ngee Ann City Crystal Jade for a very late lunch at around 4pm. As we were both unwell, we had each a bowl of porridge. She also ordered this delicious pot of bean-curd cooked with diced century eggs and salted fish. Other dishes were three varieties of tim-sum and several cups of Chinese tea that this waitress kept pouring when our glasses were empty.

I enjoyed the time of fellowship with my friend as we caught up with one another about work, ministries in church and also our personal lives. I also shared with her some struggles related to people as in how I sometimes feel that humans tend to always look at the weaknesses and shortcomings of an individual to the point where they cloud the good side of him or her. We tend to always think that the person would never change when in actual fact, every one who has some kind of character flaws would want to overcome them and be a better person.

Anyway, it was good to let that out as I have been rather troubled by this lately.

After our meal, we went on to buy a pair of cuff-links. I needed them for my new shirts. We went to Tangs Store to check out the many designs. My friend helped me choose and we agreed on one which I like a lot. I cannot wait to use tomorrow when I go to office.

We went home after that as she needed to meet her family for dinner and I had to meet another friend.

Well, no matter how sometimes I feel burdened in my heart over a few matters, I still thank God for allowing me to pull through the day.

I shall stop here now and head off to bed. I was told by a colleague of mine that there will be an important meeting tomorrow.

"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:9-10


"Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." Hebrews 4:14-16

God Does Not Short-Change Us

It has been 4 days since I last blogged. This shows how busy and tired I have been but all these busyness have now come to pass! Thanks be to God for that!

My second presentation on Thursday went very well and the panel has approved my team's proposals. With this and Tuesday's approvals, my team has been given the green light to carry on with the planning of the curriculum with the resources we have gathered in the past one and a half months.

We gave ourselves a day off on Friday but it was not really a break for me as I needed to prepare for the Mission and Vacation-With-A-Purpose (VWAP) trips. I was in church the whole day printing devotional guides, prayer letters, contact cards of all important numbers in case of an emergency, buying of first-aid items, etc. I also had to meet two of the accountability groups I am committed to. In the morning, I met with the older ones and in the evening was with the younger ones. I had to also prepare for the Local Church Executive Committee (LCEC) meeting where I had to seek the approval of two proposals that I had to make for the Missions Committee.

Yesterday's LCEC meeting was a scary one as I was asked numerous questions regarding the proposals I made. Though I was drained after answering all the queries, I am grateful to God that both were approved by the leaders present.

Three-quarter way through the meeting, I had to rush off to conduct a wedding service for a couple from the church. Though I do not really know them, I decided to assist in their wedding preparations and service when my Assistant Pastor requested of me to guide them. Praise the Lord all went well from the start to the end of the service. I was so happy to see another two lives coming together in holy matrimony.

After the wedding reception, I went home to wash up and change to a more comfortable set of clothes as I needed to go out again to buy a birthday present for a good friend's son's birthday. I went to Forum Galleria Shopping Centre. On my way to Toys R Us, I met a sister-in-Christ. I got a shock when someone tapped my shoulders. It was a pleasant surprise to see this dear sister. We did not chat for long as she was rushing to attend a debrief for a course that she was doing yesterday.

I spent about an hour looking around for a suitable gift. I was lost among the thousands of toys - there were so many varieties to choose from. In the end I settled on this educational table where a child can learn phonetics, alphabets and numbers. It was really high-tech, I must say. My good friend and I were so intrigued by it that after fixing all the parts, we were playing and fingering all the functions available. The birthday boy stood there and looked at us. He must have wondered why these two grown-ups were playing with his present. Haha.

Anyway, we had pizzas, chicken wings and dips. Yummilicious. We also had a very nice chocolate cake from Shangri-la Hotel. By the time everything ended, it was already almost 11pm. After washing up when I got home, I had to prepare for today's Mission and VWAP teams' packing of donated items and also other administrative matters pertaining to a briefing that I had to conduct for all the members going.

Well, thank God all went well just now in church for the packing and briefing. Time really flies - another four more days and the teams are off to Cambodia to fellowship with our Khmer brothers and sisters-in-Christ. I cannot wait to meet up with them again and also to minister to those who have yet to know who God is.

After this morning's sermon where the guest preacher shared about God's greatest gift being the salvation He has given to all mankind, I am even more excited to share this to the Khmers. I am also reminded by the message to be grateful for what I have and that I should not complain about life. The preacher said something which made a lot of sense to me - that the bad things we experience are always relative. It is just how we perceive situations and in turn deal with them. God always gives good things to His creation but it is always how humans, like us, like to compare what we have with others and when we see them as better, we think that our own lives are lousier or worst than them. It then affects us and our views of life become miserable.

I want to share this message with the Khmers especially when they have gone through atrocities like the Pol Pot Regime where millions of Cambodians were killed. I hope the message of Jesus will bring about healing and allow them to be delivered from the past and move on with peace and joy in the future.

I hope I made sense in what I have written so far. :)

Well, the past week has taught me to trust God in many ways. Initially I thought I was unable to pull through so many things that I had to do but when I prayed, I felt at peace, knowing that no matter how long or rough a road I had to trod in my life, it will eventually be over. Now as I look back, it is so true. The difficult and tideous path is now easy again. Was it my doing and effort? Nope. If it was based on my ability, I would have felt frustrated and probably given up but with the knowledge that God would be helping me and also the need to glorify Him in all I do, it was actually a pleasant experience! In fact, I sang and praise God with so many songs that one task after another was accomplished without much complaints. There were struggles at times but not so bad to the point where they caused me to stumble the people around. Glory be to God!

What else can I say? One word basically - Hallelujah!!!

Okie, I have written too much for this blog - there are just so many good things to testify. Haha.

Dinner time - Thai Express, here I come. I cannot wait to eat my favourite soft-shell crab curry.

Alright, till I blog again, the Lord bless and keep you all!

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. "Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!" Matthew 7:7-11

"Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good. His love endures forever." Psalm 136:1

God Does Not Stop Halfway!

I was so physically exhausted that I wanted to call off the Missions Policy Review Committee meeting 30 minutes before it commenced. I was yawning and my eye-lids were so heavy that I really felt that I could not go on anymore.

Of course I knew the meeting had to go on. I basically went out to the Fire Escape staircase to ask God to just give me enough strength to last me through the meeting. After that I went back into the church office.

I wanted to start on time but could not as one of the members, a key member, was late as he had to take care of his daughters who were down with the flu virus. This super-bug is everywhere, I have to say. I have been coughing badly the whole of today and I found it hard to purge the phlegms. My chest is a little painful as well.

Anyway, instead of starting at 8pm, we only began our discussion at 8:30pm. We had to make some changes to the amended first half of the policy. That lasted us till 9:15pm. When we moved on to the second half, we spent close to 30 minutes discussing about some financial issues. We still had about 10 pages to go and had 45 minutes to complete them as the church's closing time was at 10:30pm.

I whispered a prayer to the Lord to help the Committee come to a consensus and it was amazing how everything went on smoothly after that. Thanks be to God!

Though there were some deep thoughts to be given during the discussion, I am very encouraged by the passion of the Committee members (from different ministries) for the work of missions. We just did not want to go through the motion and get everything over and done with but we gave due consideration to the needs of the individuals we are supporting. That was very encouraging to see.

Though I knew every one was tired after the meeting, there were still joy and affirmation. I guess that is what Christian service should be - that the Lord will refresh us even though the task given at times may be trying; that the members of the body, though individually is drained but collectively, could still find strength and support in one another to press on. Praise the Lord for that.

Well, second draft almost done. Yay! Next will be for the Pastor-in-Charge to look at it. I went home with gratitude to God for being so good and ever faithful.

I shall stop here and re-look at some of the points that I will be presenting tomorrow for my meeting with another panel of important officials. I am super tired now but knowing that by noon tomorrow everything would be over is a great boost for me to just suffer for a little while more. Haha.

I want to give 100% to this presentation and with God's help and blessing, I pray this panel will unanimously approve of the proposals so that there is no need for my team to relook into the research we have done these past weeks.

Well, to God be the glory, no matter what the outcome may be! :)

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

Do Not Doubt God

My team is done with the assignment given to us on Monday. Thank God for that. We decided to work late yesterday so that we can submit our article first thing this morning. We are now working on our presentation for tomorrow. We are progressing quite well with every one pitching in to do their part. We are about three-quarter way through and I hope to finish my part by 3pm so that I can rush to church to prepare for the Missions Policy Review Committee meeting this evening.

I need to read all the amendments made by one of the Committee members so that tonight should there be any queries on any of the points, I would be able to answer them accordingly. I am actually already quite drained mentally and physically. I hope the Lord will sustain me through, at least till I am done with the meeting in church.

It does not help that I am still unwell. On top of that, I do not really have the time to rest because of this busy week. I really cannot wait for tomorrow's presentation to be over. If there is nothing much on Friday, pending the outcome of the presentation, the team will probably declare a day off. I am praying it will be so as Saturday will be another long day with the Local Church Executive Committee meeting in the morning; the wedding service in the afternoon and thereafter, the wedding banquet in the evening.

I just realised Sunday will also be a long day as I have to help the Mission and VWAP teams in their packing of donated items and after that conducting a final briefing with them.

Thank God for seeing me through thus far and I know He will do so till all the busyness are gone! :)

A student of mine called to share with me that she has been very stress with her revisions for the varsity exams which started this week. She is a sister-in-Christ and the first thing I asked her was whether she has been praying. The answer was a no, citing reasons that she has no time, etc. I basically encouraged her to do just that.

I do not know how many of us believe in the power of prayer because I have heard many Christians sharing about their struggles and when asked whether they have submitted all these burdens to God, the answers were usually a no.

I am not trying to judge here but should it not be the first thing for us, as His children, to come before God and submit to Him our needs so that He can provide for us accordingly?

When I probed further, the sister told me that she does not know how God can help her during this stressful period. My answer to that is basically to remind her that God knows what to do but we need to surrender our struggles to Him. Our task is to bring to Him our requests and that is all. We have no right to question what He should do or how He can meet those needs because He knows best as to how to answer our prayers.

Have we all lost our faith in God? If prayer is not the first thing that comes to mind when we are struggling, then I really wonder where does God stand in our lives and whether we truly believe He will help us.

I am reflecting on this as well since this week is manic for me. I must confess occasionally I tried to deal with matters with my own ability and strength but as brothers and sisters-in-Christ, let us remind and challenge each other to put God first in all we do. Only when we can help each other in this, will we then be able to cope with the pressures of this world we are living in. Believe you me, there will be more of these coming our way especially in this life's journey.

It is not to scare us but to challenge us to go to the Source for help and face challenges head-on with a smile and accepting them with joy. Though there were moments where I felt like crying when I was preparing for all the presentations and research, I realised I smiled more than I frowned because I know my God is there to guide me through and He has been doing so. Thanks be to Him for that. That also explains all the singing of songs while I was working. Haha. :)

Well, that said. Time for me to carry on from where I left off for my preparations. Today's theme song for me is "I Will Offer Up My Life".

I Will Offer Up My Life

Verse 1:
I will offer up my life
in spirit and truth.
Pouring out the oil of love
as my worship to You.
In surrender I must give my every part;
Lord, receive the sacrifice
of a broken heart

Chorus:
Jesus, what can I give, what can I bring
to so faithful a friend, to so loving a King?
Savior, what can be said, what can be sung
as a praise of Your name
for the things You have done?
Oh my words could not tell, not even in part
of the debt of love that is owed
by this thankful heart.

Verse 2:
You deserve my every breath
for You've paid the great cost;
giving up Your life to death,
even death on a cross.
You took all my shame away,
there defeated my sin;
opened up the gates of heaven
and have beckoned me in.

"Seek the LORD while he may be found; call on him while he is near. Let the wicked forsake his way and the evil man his thoughts. Let him turn to the LORD, and he will have mercy on him, and to our God, for he will freely pardon. "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:6-9

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

God Of Wonders

I am eating my corn-beef sandwiches now and reading some documents at the same time for the new assignment that was given to the team yesterday. I decided to take a break and blog a little of what had happened so far on this second day of the work-week.

I am done with one of two major presentations for this week. We started at 8:30am and ended at around 11:15am. Thanks be to God all went well and the panel has unanimously accepted our proposal. This is a great boost and encouragement to the team as it now paves the way for us to execute the other plans that are in the pipeline for the next one month or so.

One more presentation to go on Thursday and it is with another panel. I pray they too will approve another proposal that the team is making. Once that hurdle is cleared, we can all breathe a lot better.

My nose has been running like a tap. When I was giving the presentation, it was rather embarrassing that I had to keep blowing my nose. It is now so red that I am like Rudolph, the Red-Nose Reindeer. Haha. Anyway, Christmas is just round the corner - can blend in with the season, I guess. :)

Perhaps later I should just go out and catch some fresh air, rather than inhaling the recycled air in the office. Hopefully a bit of sun can do my nose some good. It is actually quite painful because of the constant blowing. I pray I will be well soon especially when I have to go on a mission trip next Thursday.

Today I have been humming and singing another song entitled "God of Wonders". The words remind me of how mighty God is and also His holiness. Singing praises to God while working especially in a relatively stressful environment does help to calm my heart especially when there are anxiety-attacks that I am unable to cope with the workload in office.

Well, I guess I shall go back to reading my documents.

GOD OF WONDERS

Verse 1:
Lord of all creation;
of water, earth, and sky.
The heavens are Your tabernacle.
Glory to the Lord on High!

Chorus:

God of wonders, beyond our galaxy.
You are holy, holy.
The universe declares Your majesty.
You are holy, holy.
Lord of heaven and earth. (2X)

Verse 2:
Early in the morning,
I will celebrate the light.
And as I stumble through the darkness,
I will call Your name by night.

Bridge:
Hallelujah to the Lord of heaven and earth! (3X)

"Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ." Ephesians 5:19-20

Busyness Tires; Praise Refreshes

I pulled through a busy day. Thanks be to God for that.

My team is given a new research assignment today and the deadline will be on Wednesday. I am in the midst of preparing for a major presentation tomorrow - three-quarter way through. No time to think much about the new assignment. I guess that will have to wait till tomorrow - after lunch hopefully. That is if I have time to go out and grab a bite. Maybe I will prepare corn-beef sandwiches in the morning and bring to office so that I can eat in.

Anyway, while I was in the midst of a meeting, dad called to inform me that a drawer belonging to one of the cupboards had collapsed. The plywood base broke under the weight of all the contents in the drawer. I told him I would deal with it when I am done with work. Now that I am home, I still cannot handle it as I do not have the materials to replace the base.

I had to multi-task in the morning - preparing the powerpoint slides for tomorrow and calling the Lay Ministry Staff (LMS) of my church to enquire about two proposals that I need to make during the Local Church Executive Committee (LCEC) this Saturday. I was hoping to send out the email to the LCEC members before noon but was unable to do so due to lack of information. If I have the energy later, I will try to finish up the proposals by tonight.

I took a short break in the midst of all the busyness and went to the Singapore River to pray and read the Bible. It was refreshing and the passage I pondered lifted my spirit. While I was working, I was either humming or singing one of the praise songs used at yesterday's 11:15am service. The title is "The Time Has Come". At one point, my colleagues thought I was turning crazy as I was doing the drumming sequence with my hands while reading some documents. Haha.

I guess singing praises to God while working can go hand in hand. I should do more of that this week since it will be so manic.

I shall carry on with my preparations for tomorrow. One busy day gone, 4 more to go! It will come to pass. I still cannot see Friday but I shall look forward to it when I can begin to breathe better. :)

The Time Has Come

Verse:
Found love beyond all reason,
You gave Your life Your all for me
and called me Yours forever.
Caught in the mercy fallout;
I found hope found life;
found all I need.
You’re all I need!

Pre-Chorus:
The time has come
to stand for all we believe in.
So I for one am gonna
give my praise to You.

Chorus:

Today today it’s all or nothing.
All the way!
The praise goes out to You.
Yeah! All the praise goes out to You.
Today today I live for one thing;
to give You praise
In everything I do.
Yeah! all the praise goes out to You.

Bridge:
All we are is Yours
and all we’re living for
is all You are;
is all that You are, Lord.

"Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it—he will be blessed in what he does." James 1:22-25

Deal With Today; Tomorrow Can Wait

Just by looking at the schedules for this new week, I am already feeling very tired. Tomorrow my work-team will be given a new assignment; I also have to prepare two proposals for the Local Church Executive Committee (LCEC) meeting; Tuesday and Thursday I have two major presentations in the presence of some high level personnel; Wednesday I have another Missions Policy Review Committee meeting; Saturday I have to attend the LCEC meeting in the morning; after that I have to conduct a wedding service at noon for a couple from the church. On top of all these, I have to prepare for the Mission and Vacation-With-A-Purpose (VWAP) trips which will be held next week from 22 to 26 November 2007.

I do not know how exactly will I be able to cope with such workloads but I shall trust that God will provide me with His strength and guidance.

I believe I will be able to pull through eventually just like what God did for me this morning when I was playing the drums for a difficult song. In the end all went well - judging from the feedback given by some members of the congregation and the Worship Team. I really enjoyed playing the drums and at the same time, worshipping the Lord.

I was out with a dear brother and sister-in-Christ and their son. We went to check out some electrical products at Millennia Walk Harvey Norman. Before that I detoured to another brother-in-Christ's home to collect a LCD monitor for my brother's computer as his had already broken down.

Anyway, I can only write this much as I am very tired now. All thanks and praise to God for pulling me through this day.

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34

God Is In Charge

Just took my temperature - there is still a slight fever of 37.4 degrees Celsius. My nose is flowing like a running tap and I have been coughing quite badly. The medication prescribed to me yesterday is doing some good. I hope to recover after I finish the whole course.

I hardly had any rest the whole day as I had to be in church in the late morning for the Missions Policy Review Committee meeting. Yesterday I was quite burdened over this as I did not know how the meeting would turn out but in the end God showed and assured me that He is in control and all will be well.

After today's meeting with the Committee comprising of a Lay Ministry Staff, an Associate Lay Leader, the Finance Committee chairperson and a small group leader who is a lawyer, the discussion went well as we moved from one section to another. Truly the Lord used different parts of the body of Christ to give constructive opinions to the whole Policy and though we only completed half of it, I was at peace and contented as I could see every point falling in place.

We are meeting again on Wednesday to finish the other half and I am sure the Lord will continue to lead and guide us and that by the end of that meeting, the second draft would be ready for the Pastor-in-Charge to have her say.

Doing this Policy has excited me especially in my service to the Lord and His people in the Missions Ministry. May this Policy allow the Missions Ministry to be more effective in challenging the church to be more involved in the work of missions and also to give better and holistic support to the current missionaries that the church has commissioned.

After the meeting, I had to attend the Worship Team rehearsal. The whole of yesterday and today I have been listening to one of the songs that we will be playing tomorrow at the service. Though the drumming sequence is not easy, I praise the Lord that He guided me through the practice and I am almost there in the flow of one section of the song to another. I cannot deny I am still anxious about it especially when I play in front of all the congregation but I guess I will continue to fix my eyes on God rather than on the people.

Well, I am looking forward to the session but at the same time having my reservation - no matter what, I shall just enjoy myself using this talent God has given me to bless His holy name. :)

All thanks and praise be to God for all that He had done for me this Saturday. I was weak physically but He pulled me through this day and I am actually recharged spiritually!

I shall heed a brother-in-Christ's advice by sleeping soon. :)

"Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen." 1 Peter 4:10-11

What Kind Of Tongue Do I Have?

My fever is back again. It always happens in the night. I have been sick since two days ago. Initially it was just flu and it got really bad when I started sneezing non-stop after coming back from church on Wednesday night.

Yesterday the fever was very high at 39.8 degrees Celsius. It felt as if my brain was about to explode and my breath was super hot especially when I exhaled. I could not sleep properly as I was shivering.

I felt really lethargic. That explains why I did not blog yesterday. I went to see the doctor this morning and he prescribed one course of antibiotics; flu tablets and cough mixture. I was also given one day medical leave. I hope the medication will heal me soon as I have a busy day tomorrow in church - having to meet the Missions Policy Review Committee at 11am. After that at 2pm, I have to be at the Worship Team rehearsal as I have been rostered to play the drums on Sunday. There are a couple of challenging songs but I am looking forward to trying them out as in the drumming sequence. May the Lord be my help in that.

This morning after I left the clinic I went to the travel agency to collect the air tickets for the Mission and Vacation-With-A-Purpose teams. I was sent on a wild-goose chase though. I followed the address given to me on the invoice but when I arrived at the agency which was located in Singapore Shopping Centre, I was told that that was not the place to collect the tickets. I was re-directed to Peninsula Plaza. I had to take the MRT to City Hall and walked to the shopping centre.

Along the way, a brother-in-Christ called me and gave some feedback regarding the revised Missions Policy - as I was already feeling very lethargic and frustrated over the running around just to collect the tickets, I kind of snapped at him. I did apologise but I should have exercised some self-control though things were not working out as planned.

Anyway, I headed for church after I was done with the collection. I took the medicine. They were quite strong and I felt a little drowsy. I napped for a while before I carried on to do some work. I was supposed to join a brother-in-Christ and his friend for dinner but I changed my mind and went home. I did not have the appetite and as I was felt warm again, I thought it would be better that I sleep early tonight and hopefully feel better tomorrow.

I joined the Youth Worship Team for a while in their devotion. I felt burdened for both the leaders and the youths especially when I listened to them speak. This is supposed to be a group of musicians and worship leaders to lead the rest before the presence of God in worship and yet some of the words they used in their speech were so unedifying. Moreover they were in the house of God. Sometimes I wonder how much do we revere God and whether we are living our lives in fear and awe of Him. May the Lord be gracious and merciful unto us all.

Does speaking less of words like "shit" or "damn" or "cock" or "hell" or "fish" (in place of the word "f***") make us less happening than those who keep using them? How then do we stand out as Christians when basic things like the words we use, we do not even practise?

I need to learn to confront when I encounter such incidents - if not, I am equally guilty of condoning the actions.

Anyway, it is just so scary that some of us Christians are living two kinds of lifestyles - when we are at a worship environment we sing of God's praises and yet when we are out of that environment, our words become so flowery.

By writing the above-mentioned, I have to also watch my own speech.

Just took my temperature - 38.1 degrees Celsius. I shall go rest now.

"Not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check. When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water." James 3:1-12

Pilgrim's Agony

It is past 4:30am and I am still awake. I just simply could not sleep as there were a lot of thoughts running in my mind now. Earlier I took some time to pray for the man who was arrested yesterday and I also asked the Lord to go ahead of him to prepare all that is necessary for the charges he will have to face. I also hope he is able to sleep well in whichever lock-up he was sent to. I also read Psalm 121 - at least it gave me some peace and assurance.

It is a lousy feeling whenever I think about the above-mentioned. Now that this has happened, I hope the Lord will show me what else I can do for this particular person. I really want him to know that I am interested in his life and I hope I will be able to walk alongside him.

Well, thought I just jot some of these thoughts down. One of the hardest parts of my pilgrim's journey I am experiencing now.

I need to sleep - long day ahead.

"I lift up my eyes to the hills — where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip — he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The LORD watches over you — the LORD is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. The LORD will keep you from all harm — he will watch over your life; the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore." Psalm 121

Toughest Decision Ever Made

What I am going to write today is not going to be easy. In fact, it is one of the most difficult thing I have ever done to an individual. Since it was difficult, why then did I still do it? I felt it would be for his good. Anyway, I will not be vague anymore in today's blog.

I had to witness the arrest of the man I spoke about on the 23 October 2007 blog. All the burdens, struggles, betrayal, sadness and anger I mentioned for the past few days were all related to this man. I'm not going to reveal his name as I feel it is important that no one ostracises him the next time he is released from prison and may be invited back to the church for spiritual support.

It all started on 23 October when this man was referred to me by a friend. I took the case up to see how I could assist this individual. The crux of the whole matter was that he needed to loan some money - he cited reasons that he just got released from prison in July this year and did not have enough money to last him till he receives his first pay-cheque. He said he needed to pay for the rental of a room.

We invited the man to church and along with a Lay Ministry Staff (LMS), we tried our best to help him. We asked questions as we wanted to know him better since that was the first time we knew him and also from there see how else we can support him other than just his financial needs. At the end of the session, we trusted his account and passed him $150.

Then a couple of days later he messaged my friend for some more money - saying that the initial $150 he received was to pay for the rent and that he did not have money for food and transport. My friend decided to lend the amount to him through me. I met the man and after we spoke for a while I passed him the cash. Instead of $150, I handed to him $160.

In my conversation with my friend, I was saddened that this individual told her that he was being questioned by the LMS and me the first time we met him as if he was being interrogated like a prisoner. We did not have that in mind as we were interested to know more about him as a person and not an ex-convict.

Anyway, the next day, the man called and informed me that he lost the money my friend lent him while he was walking to a client's place. This was the beginning of my suspicion as I felt it was just too coincidental. Then he asked to borrow some more money. I told him I would think of some other means. He messaged a couple of times after that but I did not reply. In one of the messages he told me if I do not wish to help him, he could find other means.

After that I told him to come to church on Saturday to meet the LMS and I. He initially rejected the offer but after a while, he messaged to say he would come over. When we met, the LMS asked the man whether all these while he has been telling the truth and he said he had. Anyway some of the things he re-accounted began to contradict themselves. This aroused even more suspicion for the LMS and I but we still passed him $50 instead of the $90 he requested. We also got him to thumbprint an I.O.U. since he said he lost his identity card (ic) along with the rest of the contents like the $160 I passed him the other day, the EZ-link card which the LMS passed him when we first met him, a cashcard and some name-cards. Again we suspected he was telling another lie about the loss of his ic because when we first met him and requested to have the ic photostated, he said he did not want to bring it out for fear that he might lose it. Now he said he has lost it with the rest of his stuff.

Anyway, on Sunday evening, again he messaged me and asked whether we could pass him the remaining $40 as he had run out of cash. Again I did not reply his messages and in one of them, he said it was okay if I did not want to help anymore and that he would sell his company's handphone and use the money for his expenses. After that there was no more news from him.

Then came yesterday when the LMS messaged to update me on some information about the man. She got them while she was attending a Social Worker's Seminar. She asked one of the staff of another church whether she has heard of the man's name as he had mentioned her church before. It was then that the staff shared about this man who had been going to her church and had been using the same reasons to obtain money.

It was from there I decided to do some investigations myself. After work, I went to check out two addresses the man gave me - one belonged to his boss' home office and the other was the rented place. Both were bogus - the flat number he gave did not exist. This was when I felt sad and angry.

Then came this morning when I decided to call another church to ask for the pastor who counselled the man while he was in prison. It was from this conversation that I received more shocking news - the man was not convicted for rioting as he initially stated; instead it was for deserting National Service; he was not released this year but some time in late 2005 or early 2006; he has been going around churches since then asking for money as many of these churches had also enquired about the man from this pastor; this individual has a Filipino wife.

Anyway, in the morning the man called the LMS to say he wanted to collect the $40 from her. It was scheduled at 4pm and both the LMS and I met him in church. Prior to that I prayed and asked the Lord to change the heart of this man and that he would at least tell us some truths.

When we started talking to the man, he said he had a few things to confess which I thought was good and that if he would be willing to come clean, we might not want to take any actions against him. We listened to him and to our disappointment, the 'truths' were also lies as we already had enough information to know whether he is bluffing us or not. The LMS even kept asking whether he was telling the truth and he said he was.

The Pastor-in-Charge after hearing about how this man had not been willing to be opened to us reported the case to the police. They came and it was from here that we learnt that the individual is a wanted man at two police divisions. One for something related to property matters and the other was for Absence Without Official Leave (AWOL). The church decided not to take actions against him regarding the loan we gave him.

It was not an easy decision for all to make regarding having to report the man to the authorities. We felt it would be for his good and also for the rest whom he may cheat should no action be taken. Initially we told the police to let him off with a stern warning but after informing us about the other crimes he had committed, it was beyond our means to let the man off.

The LMS and I are affected by the above-mentioned but as I have mentioned on my 23 October blog, I will go all the way to help this individual. I have informed the police to notify me of the hearing date so that I can be there for him. Whether he is angry with me for having him arrested, that I will not know until I see him. I shall also be praying for him daily and see how else God can use me to reach out to this individual.

Well, that is all I want to share. Am I relieved now that the man has been arrested? Nope. All I ask now is that he will learn from his mistakes and give God a chance to change his life.

"Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses." Proverbs 27:6

"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!" Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

Never Give Up!

I took my driving test this morning. All went well throughout two-third of the journey. I only had 16 demerit points prior to the immediate failure I was given when I mounted a kerb while engaging a U-turn.

I am actually quite indifferent to the failed attempt because I am already numbed to it. I have reached a point where the license does not mean much to me anymore. Like I said, maybe God is still training me not to be too impulsive in wanting to get a car as I know deep down that is my weakness. I confessed to a couple of friends about this. I also know there is an ulterior motive of wanting to own an automobile but I shall not reveal it here.

Have I signed up for the next test? Nope. Why? If I have to give a reason - it would be my busy schedules till end of this year. Of course that is not the only reason. I am actually quite scared of failing again and having to spend so much money to get a piece of plastic to allow me to drive sometimes makes me wonder whether it is worth the effort or not. Moreover I could have used all the money I have spent on attaining that card for better use.

Anyway, we shall see. Thanks be to God for the experience once again.

This morning I got a couple of messages which troubled me again but I have just been informed of some updates which saddened and at the same time, angered me. Yesterday I wrote that certain trust I have for a person has been betrayed. It is now 100% betrayed. Sigh. I am going to act upon this but I shall pray and see how I should deal with this situation I am in.

Again, it is very vague. I will only account the whole matter after I have dealt with it.

I shall stop here for now - got a meeting to attend.

"My brothers, if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring him back, remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of his way will save him from death and cover over a multitude of sins." James 5:19-20

Good To Do Good

It is Monday morning and I am still awake. In fact I just finished ironing a pile of clothes belonging to every one in the family. I am tired but I am unable to sleep. That's why I decided to just press all the shirts and trousers that were hanging in the rooms.

It has been two days since I last blogged. I did not feel like doing it though many things had happened. Since Saturday I have been struggling with trusting people and I also have doubts of some of the friendships I have made.

Sometimes I wonder why I put in so much effort and yet at the end of the day, I am being doubted by some judgement calls I made. I was also being accused by a certain individual whom I am counselling for my unwillingness to help when all these while I have been finding ways to provide assistance for this person. What affected me most was when I realised trust has been betrayed in the course of the above paragraph. It is precisely during moments like these that I want to just give up and not care anymore. Why should I?

Yes, there are all these cliches of doing all things for the Lord; giving thanks for the bad experience; pressing on when the going gets tough; no one is perfect; etc. I am mindful of them but sometimes do think first before saying anything that may be hurtful to another party. I am also a human who has feelings.

I am not writing all these to expect gratitude from others or to boast about my desire to help the people around me but these are the very struggles I am experiencing now and I hope to learn from them and see how I can move on from here.

Anyway, thanks be to God for everything.

Despite of the burdens I have been carrying lately, I want to thank God for pulling me through the praise segment that I led at the 11:15am service. Since Friday when the Worship Team met for rehearsal, I have been unable to focus properly but to God be all thanks and praise that the session went as smoothly as it could.

Later is my driving test. I have no confidence whatsoever because I have not had the time to practice further due to my busy schedules. I have prayed and I have also asked others to pray that I will have an attitude of thanksgiving regardless of the result I will be receiving. I am also undecided whether to go for another attempt should I fail the test again.

Well, there are many other things I want to share but I guess I should try to sleep. I shall write again later today... if I have the time as I have to rush to work after I am done with driving.

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." Galatians 6:9

Lord, Grant Me Wisdom

The past two days have not been easy-going for me as I struggle to do the right thing regarding a situation I am currently in and it has to do with people. Even now as I type this blog, my heart is very heavy. I made a decision and it was a tough one but it was after I spent several times seeking the Lord for guidance and wisdom. I have also sought the counsel of some people from and outside church. I will answer for the action eventually if it was a wrong one made but I shall stick to what I have decided for now.

It will affect some individuals involved hence the burden I carry on my shoulders. Yesterday I shared about an incident and I thought it was resolved but today something else happened and it made me wonder whether to buy the story told to me.

Do I lack discernment? I really do not know. Frankly speaking, the decision I made was not one where I am washing my hands off this case I am handling. I am actually providing a solution and yet it was not accepted by the party involved. It makes me wonder why. The way I was rejected made it sound as if I was insensitive but I thought it was for the good of all involved.

Well, I made a judgement call this evening and I shall let the Lord prompt me accordingly. Maybe I am not the right person for this matter but I really want to help.

All of the above-mentioned sound very vague but I shall leave them as that. The whole day I was not able to work properly and my team members in office could tell. Even when I was at the Worship Team rehearsal I was unable to concentrate. Well, thanks be to God for pulling me through the day.

Anyway, that is all I want to share. May the Lord be my help.

"If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does." James 1:5-8

"But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere." James 3:17

Seeking Peace

Early this morning I was awoken by a couple of smses and from then on my heart was troubled over something which, as far as I saw it, was a misunderstanding. I shall not disclose too much information as I feel it is not right to do so in a public website or for that matter, share it with others who are not involved. Anyway, I tried my best to explain the whole situation over smses and MSN but I did not feel comfortable doing it through these mediums as sometimes one could not tell the tone or expression of the other.

Anyway, I have submitted the above-mentioned to the Lord and hope He will make clear to the relevant parties the truth of the whole matter. I also had to deal with the source where the information was disseminated. I had to leave my office before lunch-time to meet the person and I thank God it was a fruitful time spent together. I am glad the air was cleared. I hope it is.

The whole incident has scared me quite a bit but I will press on in letting God give me the discernment to know what I should do the next time I encounter the same situation. I am sure since I have allowed Him in my decision-making, He will also make a way should there be a misunderstanding.

I had to rush back to the office to make a presentation to some high-level personnel. Fumbled here and there but overall, they understood the proposals my team made. They have approved some of them. Those not will have to go back to the drawing block which was something all of us were hoping it would not happen as we have another new project coming up. Anyway, thanks be to God for everything.

After the meeting, I rushed to church for a brainstorming session with the Lay Ministry Staff regarding the first draft of the revised Missions Policy. Along the way, I bought lunch. Got a burger from Burger King and ate it before I went to the LMS' office. We started at 4:15pm and ended around 7pm.

I was physically and mentally exhausted. I had wanted to go home immediately but realising that I need to email the first draft to the rest of the Review Committee for our first meeting next week, I decided to complete the amendments in the church office. Thanks be to God I completed them and will find some time to email the document to the Committee members tomorrow.

I shall stop here. To God be the glory for all that had happened since this morning.

"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to one hope when you were called— one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all." Ephesians 4:2-6