Enjoying The Simple Things In Life

Today for me is basically to enjoy the simple things in life.

I went to another church to worship God. It was a refreshing time and it is one thing I have decided to do once a month from next year onwards.

After service, I went to a park to spend some time in reflection. 2012 is coming to an end and I thought it would be appropriate for me to just look back and thank God for everything that had happened - both the pleasant and unpleasant adventures. I am still reflecting and I will write in detail either on the last day of this year (which I just realised is tomorrow) or the first day of the new year.

Dad came to mind constantly. I miss him dearly. It is almost two weeks since he passed away but every time I come home, it feels as if he is still there, in his room. Then I would picture him coming out with his walking stick to ask whether I have eaten.

A couple of times in the morning, I would jump out of bed, thinking that I needed to tube-feed dad. And when I went out to the living room, it then occurred to me that he has gone to be with the Lord. All the apparatus for his tube-feeding are still on the table. There are still four cartons of milk left unopened. It would have been enough to last him till his medical review which was to be on 3 January 2013.

Anyway, I am sure dad is having a great time in heaven, celebrating Jesus' birthday on Christmas Day, singing with the other angels and dancing (which he liked to do when he was younger) and of course the feasting - I hope he will eat as much as he can because here on earth, he was only fed with milk in his last days.

Well, the consolation whenever I think of dad is that I will reunite with him again when my time here on earth is up. Death as much as it is painful is also worth celebrating because it takes us away from this world of suffering to a place of eternal joy. Frankly I am looking forward to it because there were many whom I knew and cherished who are there now... cannot wait to catch up with them. :)

Below is a poem I wrote while reflecting on the above-mentioned...

Death, oh death, as painful as it is,

does not take away a hope such as this -

that one day a reunion will happen

with those who are now in heaven.

While we await for that moment to arrive,

on earth a close communion with God we'll strive.

Family and friends we will learn to cherish

So that no regrets we'll carry when we perish.

Let us learn to live our lives simply

Because that is what matters eventually.

Dad's departure has taught me to enjoy the simple things in life and they are simply my family and friends. One can earn as much money as he can or sell his soul to a company but when his time is up, it is still family and friends who matters. :)

Well, praise God for the above reminder.

in the afternoon, I met a friend for lunch... someone whom I have not caught up much for a while. I enjoyed every moment with her at an Italian restaurant which has been a favourite place for me lately. After that it was off to my favourite cafe where we had tea and desserts. I am sure those who are close to me will know which these two places are. :)

Well, though we just ate and talked, that meant a whole world to me and I look forward to more of this with her in the near future. :)

As mum needed some groceries, my friend and I went to a supermarket next. For the rest of evening, I decided to spend it with mum and grandma. I cooked for them one of their favourite food - prawn noodles! All three of us had a sumptuous meal together. Dad was in our mind and there at the dining table I could feel his presence with us. Well, he will always be close to our hearts... no doubt about that!

What a great day I had! Praise God!!! :)

Precious Moments

It has been 4 days since dad left us. The wake is now into its third day. During this period, I spent a considerable amount of time next to dad's casket, thanking him for all that he had done for me the past 40 years, recalling the good and bad times we had, seeking his forgiveness for the hurts and disappointments I have caused him occasionally and also letting him know about the numerous friends who came to visit him during this period of bereavement.

I know it is a bit too late to say this but this period has been one of the rare moments when I actually spent so much time with him. The only regret is that I am doing it when he is actually already gone. I wish I could say all the above-mentioned to him when he was still alive.

My dad's passing has opened my eyes to one thing - make it count while it is still possible.

Many of us have been drowning ourselves with work and studies. A considerable number of us spent quite a fair bit of our free time on the computer, shopping, clubbing, etc. I am not saying all these are wrong but the reflection here is basically on how we can cut down on these and take some time to spend precious moments with our loved ones, especially those in our family.

Some may say that we are already spending time since we live under the same roof and seeing each other every day. I think the focus here is "quality time."

How many us actually tell our parents and/or children, "I love you." How many of us say "thank you" when our family members have done something for us? How many of us actually sit down with our parents and/or children to listen to their deepest thoughts and struggles? How many of us actually sought forgiveness when a hurt has been inflicted on another family member? How many of us actually pray for one another in the family or, to take a step further, to pray with one another?

Though dad is no more with the family, I still have mum and grandma living with me. I will from here on take time to be with them and simply to let them know that they mean a whole world to me.

Do not wait till it is too late.

That said, it has been a tiring period for me. I have not rested well since the youth camp which I attended. Though I managed to catch some sleep here and there, they were not really proper ones as my mind has been on active mode since dad's passing.

I am truly blest with the many friends who came to support me - simply spending time with me, praying for me and buying me cups and cups of coffee so that I can have the boost to keep me going. Haha. I am specially touched when I heard some youths and youth leaders actually volunteered their time to keep vigil at night so that my family and I can have sufficient sleep. God bless these precious individuals!

Well, two more days left. As the day draws nearer to the funeral, my heart gets sadder because I know for a fact that he will not be with us anymore physically. The comfort is that he is in a better place now.

I shall stop here. Another long day ahead but God will be my strength. :)

Good-Bye, Daddy

I just spent some time praying with mum before she goes to sleep. From tonight onwards, she will be sleeping alone. Dad passed away suddenly this morning at 8.30am in hospital.

It was sudden because no one expected the above-mentioned to happen. My brother and I received a call from the doctor, just past midnight, asking us to rush to the hospital. I knew something bad had happened to dad.

Just as we arrived at the ward, we saw dad being wheeled out quickly to the Neuro Intensive Care Unit. The doctor asked us to prepare for the worse because dad's heart stopped for 20 minutes but it came back on when they were about to give up. By this time, his condition was already very critical as his organs had failed due to the lack of oxygen in the body. He was given only a few hours to live.

My brother went back to fetch mum and grandma while I waited for my other relatives to arrive.

I managed to spend some time with dad alone. I apologised to him for having not visited him after the youth camp came to a close. I was basically very tired. At that point of time, I was updated that his condition had stabilised when the doctors treated him in the Accident and Emergency Department. I basically planned to visit him this morning. Well, it was not to be. Dad was already in a comatose when my brother and I arrived at the hospital.

I also took the opportunity to thank him for all the 40 years of showing love and care to me. I will always remember him as the father who would wake up every morning, without a complaint, to prepare the milk for me when I was toddler. And when I was in my teens, he would go out to buy food for me when I was hungry. Even after I became an adult, he would make sure that my meals are well taken care of by a simple reminder through a phone call or sms.

When I was young, every Saturday without fail, we would be out watching a movie (Star Wars was the most vivid one) or visit the Botanic Gardens (where we loved to take pictures by this huge clock) or go to Yaohan at Plaza Singapura (where I would buy my Lego and PlayMobil sets) or the zoo (where in one occasion I was flung off my feet when a horse used its head to whack me) or simply just spend time with me at home (watching football matches). 

My love for photography and Liverpool also came from dad's influences.

My first walkman and hi-fi system were also from him and I guess that was how I came to love music, especially singing.

He was also one father who would constantly forgive when I kept hurting and disappointing him, mum and grandma during my really rebellious years. When mum caned me, he would be there to be my shield. He would then apply ointment on the areas where the cane-marks were.

The person who taught me what giving is about also came from dad. He is one generous individual who would give without expecting anything in return and I thank God he has taught me this precious trait and I will definitely pass this gem on to those in the future generations.

Dad used to be the strongest and healthiest in the family. In his thirty over years in the American International Assurance company, he had never once took medical leave or visited the doctor. His physical being started deteriorating after he retired. He just could not stay at home and do nothing. He went even to the point of being a security guard at a school just so that he could do something useful. I remembered him telling me how he loved interacting with the students, teachers and parents.

Mum had a stroke a couple of years ago and dad, being the main caregiver, started feeling stressed out tending to her needs. He himself got a stroke and this led to many other complications.

Despite of his physical struggles, the family's welfare still came first in his mind and in his limited ability, he would still shower us love and care.

I am already missing him and below is a simple poem dedicated to this dear father of mine...

To my beloved father of 40 years,
Thank you for being such a dear.
From a babe to who I am today,
Thank you for showing me life's way.
Hurts and disappointments I've sometimes been,
Thank you for showing me what forgiveness means.
Sacrifices, big and small, you've made,
Thank you for letting the selfishness in me fades.
Good-bye, my daddy dearest,
In heaven we will meet soonest.

This is just a temporary departure, dad. Enjoy your first day in heaven... the street of gold must be a beautiful sight. See you again soon!

Victory!!!

The youth camp just commenced about 4 hours ago. Praise God everything has gone pretty well. Of course there were some minor hiccups here and there but that is common. Mistakes allow us to learn and also not to take things so seriously that we become badly affected by them. I am glad that the Committee Members and the Tribe Leaders are taking the challenges in their stride and giving their best to cheer the campers on and making them feel as comfortable as possible.

This year's camp's theme is "VICTORY" and I am glad we have this as our focus. It is planned not because the campers are losers or defeated individuals. In fact, victory has already been given to us when Jesus died on the cross for the sins of man.

The next four days are basically for these young lives to claim God's victory in their lives and hold on to the identity that they have been given as sons and daughters of the Almighty One. It is my prayer that at the end of this event, these youths will be transformed forever and journey their lives with a Kingdom-focus.

Thank God that I was able to rest well last night after the Camp Committee and Tribe Leaders completed their preparations. The couch I was sleeping on was comfortable and when I woke up at 5.30 this morning, I was all ready to enjoy the four-day camp with my siblings-in-Christ and the friends they would be bringing. :)

I am seated somewhere in town waiting for the first tribe to arrive to obtain their clue for the Amazing Race. Sipping my coffee and with a book in my hand is such a luxury. Being away from home for the next few days is good for me, I guess. Thank God for my brother who has taken over my duty to feed my dad and to take care of the concerns of the household. I shall trust that God will protect everyone at home. Looking forward already to meeting my family on Sunday when everything is over..

Okie, I shall end here. One tribe will probably be here soon.

"No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:37-39

The Gift of Friendship

Finally home after being out the whole day. Majority of the time was spent in church with the Youth Camp Committee as we did our final planning and preparations for the biggest-ever camp we are organising. Praise the Lord!

I am very excited about the camp. Since I am in-between jobs and having to be home most of the time to take care of dad, I spent a lot of time praying towards this event, God has impressed upon my heart that this generation of youths will be ones who will step up and stand out from those in the previous generations. No more about their lives being caught up with the pressures of studies and the strife to do well. No more about being drowned by the lures and patterns of this world.

Instead these young lives will learn to put God first and honour Him in every area of their lives. When they are able to get these fundamentals right, everything they do is no more about what the world tells them to or pursue but letting God lead them all the way. No more leading the defeated lifestyle but one of victory! This will be a TRANSFORMED generation!

Well, though  I have been quite exhausted having to take care of dad and also doing all the housework the past two weeks, I just feel so refreshed when I think about the camp! Even though I will be the oldest in the camp, I go not with the attitude that I know more than the campers but basically have the sole desire to know God deeper. Even where I am now at 40 years of age, there are still areas where I need to be victorious over and I look forward to what God is going to teach me from 13 to 16 December 2012. :)

That said, now to the main objective of this blog...

The past two weeks since dad's discharge, I truly want to give thanks for providing me with friends to support me and also offer help in various ways.

As the milk for tube-feeding is not cheap, a dear brother-in-Christ managed to source them for me at a discounted price. I was even more ministered to by him when I realised on the day he delivered the 8 cartons of milk that he was feeling unwell. He chose to collect the orders first before going to the clinic.

Prior to the above-mentioned, another sister-in-Christ also managed to find another source where I can purchase the milk at a discounted price but it did not come through as the order needed some time for it to be processed. Then I needed the milk urgently as those given by the hospital were running dry.

Then there were other friends who offered to help me do the tube-feeding should there be times when I am unable to. Some messaged to say that they will be praying for my family. Some even offered to fetch my dad to and from any medical appointments should a need arises.

I am truly overwhelmed and touched by all these acts of love and kindness! Praise the Lord for each one of these souls... going beyond their comfort zones and being there for me.

These two weeks I have learnt much from them about showing hospitality. That is why I told God I will want to do something for my friends as well. I basically devoted much of my free time, especially in-between my dad's feeding time, to pray for my friends and it has been such great joy!

I also used some occasions to cut and style friends' hair, a skill I acquired more than 10 years ago when a friend signed me up to go on a hairstyling course with her when I was recovering from my kidney injury. Praise God for many of them who trusted their lovely locks in my hands. They have allowed me to hone my skills and not put what I have learnt to waste. In fact this skill has allowed me to bless kids with cancer, where friends actually donated their hair (10 inches at least) so that wigs can be made for these children who lost their hair to chemotherapy. It is also wonderful to be able to go to an old folks' home to trim the patients' hair.

Well, I thought this period of care-giving to dad will be a boring one but God has proven me wrong. In the midst of the monotony of having to feed him every three hours, friends have been there for me. I am able to also bless them with what God has given me. Glory to Him for that! I also have the opportunities to catch up with lots of reading which have enriched my life and using the lessons learnt to encourage others. :)

Truly, friendship is one of the greatest gift one can have. God knows we cannot function on our own at times and that is where friends come in to help one another. This makes our life's journey much easier to trod. :) Friends also make me feel good simply by their acceptance of me for who I am.

Time for me to hang the laundry.

Good night, world! :)

"Two are better than one,

    because they have a good return for their labor:

¹⁰ 

If either of them falls down,

    one can help the other up.

But pity anyone who falls

    and has no one to help them up.

¹¹ 

Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.

    But how can one keep warm alone?

¹² 

Though one may be overpowered,

    two can defend themselves.

A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."

--- Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Hope in God

Not having blogged for a while, this feels a little weird but I will try to get over it and share a couple of thoughts.

My life for the past two weeks or so have been revolving around my father - every three hours, beginning from 6.00am, I will have to feed him. My domestic helper is away for a month to attend to her son's wedding. Having been away from her family for 5 years, I thought she deserves to have the time spent with her family especially during this special occasion, which only comes once in a person's life.

Though the tube-feeding can be monotonous at times, I have grown used to it except for the past three days or so - dad has been having a bout of diarrhoea. He soils himself each time he had to rush to the toilet. Whenever that happened, I would be the one having to clean him up.

I have to admit that it has been a humbling experience for me as I had to clean him up. I will spare you the details on how I did that and to what extent. Interestingly, this has allowed me to appreciate my parents and grandma especially the inconveniences they themselves had to go through when bringing me up.

Dad's mood was exceptionally bad throughout this day. I guess he is frustrated as to the helplessness he has been going through since he had his second stroke in July. I was also affected because dad's frustration caused mum to feel that way too and when I had to mediate at times, I was snubbed. There were moments when I was at my wit's end.

Both last night and tonight I had to leave the house to catch a breather and also to ensure my sanity is in check.

At Sentosa Boardwalk yesterday I read Psalm 42, two verses (vv. 6 and 11) spoke to me and they are of the same words...

Why, my soul, are you downcast?

    Why so disturbed within me?

Put your hope in God,

    for I will yet praise him,

    my Savior and my God.

The verses were spot on. I was downcast and troubled. What hit me was the next few lines where they reminded me to put my hope in God and to praise Him in the midst of all these. Tough to praise God when one is going through a trying time but if he can do just that, it is a very uplighting experience because the whole perspective of the struggle shifts from self to God.

I have been a Christian for 27 years and God still needs to nudge me at times to do what is beneficial and the above-mentioned was truly timely.

At Changi Beach just now, I saw the beauty of the countless stars in the sky. One word came to mind when I was admiring the glittering spots up in the heavens - it was "Faithfulness." God's faithfulness, to be precise. It was assuring that though I am like one of the many millions of human beings created, He still takes care of my needs as an individual. With that, I just prayed and surrendered to Him the cares of this world.

There was another thought that troubled me but I will share that another day.

I hope dad will get well soon - both his diarrhoea and also the tube-feeding.

God will see everyone through... just need to press on for now.

Good night.

Eventful Period

Yesterday I spent a considerable amount of time praying in my room. Dad will be discharged on Friday. The hospital rejected my request to ward him for a longer period. My main reason for that is due to the fact that there may be complications related to his tube-feeding. I found out about this on Monday when I went for the Caregiver's Training session.

At one of the feeding sessions, I had to do a litmus test using some stomach contents which I needed to pump out from my dad. The nurse who was supervising also could not. She said it is important to have the litmus test to ascertain a possibility of infection.

Following that observation, I asked how often would such cases be especially when dad needs to be fed six times. The nurse said it could be as often as once daily. When this happens at home, dad would have to be sent to either a General Practitioner ("GP") or Polyclinic or to the Accident and Emergency ('A&E") Department so as to have his stomach checked.

When my brother and I heard that, it worried us more as we really cannot afford the time to always send him to one of the above-mentioned due to our work and all. If it is going to be so regular, then it would be better off that he stays in hospital till the tube-feeding is weaned off.

Anyway, as mentioned, the request was rejected and now we will just have to accept the fact that dad may be going in and out of the house often to have his stomach checked should there be regular cases of infection.

Yesterday when I was considering all the adjustments which need to be made at home for all, I felt very overwhelmed because my work has been affected badly and I seriously do not know how situation will be when dad is back home. As much as I would love him to be discharged, I am frankly not looking forward to it because of the above complications which may happen.

I surrendered to the Lord all my burdens and concerns because I am at my wit's end. Only He can help me and everyone else at home. Above all, I pray there will be no cases of infection. I also prayed for God to help me bear with these current inconveniences. I also concluded that during this period, the focus is not about me but dad. I will just have to go through this period with joy and walk with dad through this period of recovery.

So much for that. I have not been training as often as I should for the Charity Bike 'n' Blade 2012 which is just one month from now. I simply cannot because of dad's condition. Even at times when I could, I was just simply exhausted.

That said, I did push myself to cycle longer distances twice last week, covering more than 80km. Today, though I am feeling tired and also having to get some work done in office, I will have to get over the inertia and just ride and hopefully to cover above 100km.

As of now, I am only short of $621 before hitting my target of $30,000 that I am raising for the event. But the overall target of $350,000 set by the organising committee is still short of $80,700. Since I still have 30 days or so left, I will try to raise as much as possible.

It has been a tiring process to get the funds in but I have been very encouraged by all my family and friends who have donated. I have never imagined being able to raise the current amount. Truly, glory to God for helping me and I know He will continue to help me as I press on.

I need to work my schedules so that I can put in more training sessions even though I have to handle matters at home. It seems impossible but I shall pray that God will help me manage my time better.

The past one and a half weeks, I have basically encountered incident after incident involving individuals needing medical care. I was at home two Saturdays ago when I heard a loud crash. At the cross junction near my apartment block was an accident involving two cars and a motorcycle. As I am trained in first-aid, I rushed down to help. Thank God out of the six victims, only one was seriously affected with neck and possibly spinal injury. I had to immobilise the lady while waiting for the ambulance to arrive. The rest had superficial injuries.

Then last Wednesday when I was cycling past a school in the east, I noticed a lady-driver vomiting in her car. She was slouched on the driver's seat and her daughter was trying to help her. I was informed that the lady is an ex-stroke patient. As I was not going to take any chances, I wanted to call the ambulance but not long after, the lady's husband came and told me that he would be sending her to the National University Hospital where her medical records are.

Two days ago when I was in Chinatown looking for dad's milk formula, I came across a young man suffering from cerebral palsy. He was shaking violently on his wheelchair and fell onto the gound. I carried and placed him back onto the chair but he fell again. I decided to call the police to come and assist me but another passer-by had earlier called for an ambulance. Soon both came. After checking that the young man was okay and having obtained his address, we all accompanied him home. It was later that I was informed by a neighbour that the man was upset that his parents had recently abandoned him and he is now in the foster care of his aunty.

All of the above have reminded me of how frail life can be and how one should help another so that the road to recovery will be much easier to trod. Hence, these have motivated me to keep doing what I can for the two beneficiaries: St. Luke's Hospital and Eldercare, which the Charity Bike 'n' Blade 2012 is trying to bless.

Okay, I shall stop here. A long account especially when I have not blogged for so long.

God is still good even though I am in a situation which I have no desire to be in. He will see all of us through and dad will be healed in the name of Jesus! :)

Pressing On

Last evening after I left the hospital, I was very tired but I did not feel like going home. In the end, I headed for Sentosa Boardwalk to just spend some time with God and also to do some reading. The weather was unusually very cool as the skies were overcast. It really made the whole atmosphere more conducive to just chill after a whole day of talking with doctors and nurses and encouraging dad to persevere even though he is in pain.

I started to reminisce those times when I was still very young when dad brought me to so many movies at the old Lido, Odeon and Capitol cinemas. I also missed those times we spent together shopping at Yaohan and playing in the open fields of the Botanic Gardens.

I also remembered moments when dad would shield me whenever mum caned me. She was the disciplinarian. I still have the first Sony Walkman which he got for me because I love listening to music.

Then over the years we drifted. The reason is mainly I have my commitments and schedules and hardly had the time to spend with him. We had our quarrels and disagreements too.

As I was reflecting on the above-mentioned, all I conclude is that good times need not only be reminisced. It can still happen now and also the future; it is just how we want to make it to be.

I told the Lord that things are changing in my family. My grandma and parents are all getting very old. Instead of giving excuses that there is a generation gap, I will want to spend quality time with them before it is too late. Basically to enjoy each other's company.

I left the hospital a while ago after ensuring that dad is okay. As he was feeling sleepy, I thought I let him rest. A nurse on duty informed me that dad pulled out the tube which was inserted into his nose cavity this morning. As he needs to be fed through the tube, they had to re-insert it even though it is uncomfortable for dad. I had to spend some time with him to explain the whole purpose and the challenge to him is that he tries his best to endure the pain but only for a short while. I told him if he can do that, he will get well sooner and after that he can again eat and drink normally through the mouth.

I prayed with dad for a while and hope this will allow him to be aware of God's presence in and around him. I also trust that God's peace be upon dad and this will then calm him down and rest much.

I did not sleep well last night as I was thinking of a lot of things - not just matters concerning dad but also my relationship with some individuals. For some we have drifted and I am praying that things will improve over time. It is my desire that I do not take relationship for granted but to cherish those whom God has given me the honour to know as friends.

Well, just some thoughts for this period. I am trying to find time to cycle this week. I need to remind myself that life needs to go on as normal as possible. Tough but it has to.

Okay, I shall stop here.

Only God Can Heal

Yesterday has been a traumatic day for all in my family especially my brother and I as we had to be at the Accident and Emergency Department of Tan Tock Seng Hospital twice.

Dad fainted at the bus-stop while he was on his way to church. Two strangers called for the ambulance and he was rushed to the hospital. I was informed about this when I was in church and I had to rush to the A&E. My brother came shortly after.

After checking his psycho-motor skills and running some blood tests, he was given the green light to go home when the results did not reveal anything serious. I was a bit skeptical about the discharge as I suspected dad was having a stroke as his speech was a bit slurred and he was still weak in terms of his mobility. I reminded the doctor that my dad is a ex-stroke patient and I even asked twice whether he was sure that dad could be discharged. When he assured me, I took his word for it and we all headed home.

Things got worst when dad came home. He fell three times within a span of two hours. My brother and I also noticed that his mouth was not normal. He simply could not walk anymore. That was when we decided that he needed to go back to the A&E.

This time a M.R.I. was carried out. After all the tests were done and the results released, it was confirmed that dad has a stroke and needed to be warded.

This was when all the frustrations surfaced. We were instructed to go up to the ward to obtain detailed information about dad's condition from the neurologist on duty. We did just that.

When we were in the ward, we asked the nurse on duty whether there was a need for us to stay back to wait for the doctor's update or should we just go home and obtain the update today. We were told to stay back.

The Medical Officer came. Five times he was aware of our presence: once when he entered the ward; once when he took dad's medical file, twice when he took some tissue papers to blow his nose and once when he was talking to one of the nurses.

Then came another doctor who is the Registrar. When he came in, he asked the M.O. whether he had eaten. The M.O. said no. Then together they examined dad's medical file. After 45 minutes, they stood up and left. I could hear one of them said, "Let's go for dinner."

My brother and I were surprised by that and asked the nurse on duty what was going on. As she was unsure, she called one of the doctors and after making the enquiry, she updated us that they had to attend to an emergency.

Having already overheard that they were going for dinner, I told the nurse that was a blatant lie. The nurse was stumped because I told her, as a matter of fact, that they were not attending to an emergency but was on the way to have their dinner. She quickly apologised. We expressed our disappointment to her though it is not her fault.

I understand totally that doctors are humans and they too need to eat but do not lie especially when they knew my brother and I were there and yet did not spare a minute or two to update us.

She advised us to go home. Before we left, we requested that a doctor call us in the morning to update us but no one called. It was only when I was in the hospital and having to request for a doctor to speak to me that I was updated that there were three issues pertaining to dad's condition: one was hemorrhaging of the brain on both sides; a blood clot on the right; and a chest infection.

The tricky part is that the hemorrhaging and blood clot cannot be treated together. Hence aspirin cannot be given to thin the blood to remove the clot as this may worsen the hemorrhaging. But this would also mean that more clots may be formed. Both will affect dad's stroke. Doctor is taking a one-step-at-a-time approach and see how. The next one week will be crucial. Another CT scan will be done next week to see whether his condition does improve.

I am basically quite tired from this episode and I think it is also for my brother. On top of having to handle dad's hospitalisation, we also need to ensure that mum and grandma are okay too.

Looking on the bright side, I am able to see God's hand in all these. He provided two strangers at the bus-stop to catch dad when he fainted and then they called the ambulance. Next was how my brother and I detected the anomaly of dad's mouth which made us decide to send him back to the A&E. This decision was later affirmed by the neurologist who told me that if dad had not been admitted earlier, he may even fall into a coma.

As much as I did ask God, "Why this again?!", I also know He will be the only One who can heal dad. I am also glad my church is also praying for him. I was especially touched to know that the congregations from both services yesterday interceded for dad.

A big "Thank You" to those who have been praying. I still covet more of your prayers.

Okay, time to stop.

Love The Sinner. Hate The Sin.

Yesterday news were broadcasted everywhere about the arrest of Pastor Kong Hee and 4 other leaders from City Harvest Church. After that, barrages of comments were made online and offline, both pleasant and unpleasant, from Christians and non-Christians alike. Many were judgmental that a Christian leader should not be doing this and that. Many condemned him and his wife as well.

My mum also discussed with me about the above-mentioned and she was sighing as to how come a leader as prominent as Pastor Kong Hee should be misappropriating church funds for personal gains, etc. At some point, she too became very critical.

When it reached a point where I felt the criticism needed to stop as it was going nowhere, I challenged my mum to consider this statement - "Love the Sinner. Hate the Sin."

To me, we are all no different because we are sinners in the first place. For those of us Christians, yes, we are challenged to live a life of godliness and holiness but like it or not, we are still humans and we are constantly exposed to the lures of this world. At some point or another, we still sin but it is through the cross where Jesus died for all that we are forgiven (through the confession and repentance of our sins).

Before we comment further on Pastor Kong Hee and the four leaders, let us examine ourselves whether we are any different from them. They may have misappropriated $26.6 million dollars but was there a time when you had taken something in which no one saw or knew - for example, a stationery item or items from the office; or taken your parents' or friends' money without their knowledge; or a cutlery set from the airplane you were on while heading to a holiday destination; etc?

That action is called STEALING. Yes, it may not be worth the millions but stealing is stealing. A sin is a sin. Period.

We are always very quick to judge but let us learn to always take a step back before we even attempt to say or do anything.

I am equally guilty of this but let us learn from this episode the need to exercise restraint.

Pastor Kong Hee and the four other leaders need our love and support during this period. It does not mean we condone their actions. We just need to help each other in our pilgrim's journey so that we do not fall deeper into sin but to get out of it.

If we call ourselves brother or sister-in-Christ to another, let us be ready to rebuke and correct each other in love. If we call ourselves friend to another, let us stand by him or her even when a mistake is made and help the individual through this moulding process. At some points of our lives, we may need someone else to help us overcome our shortcomings too.

Well, I felt the need to share the above-mentioned.

“Does the Lord delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying the Lord? To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams." 1 Samuel 15:22

 “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” John 8:7b

Updates Of Sorts

It has been about a month since I updated my blog - a busy period for me as I am in the last phase of a project I am overseeing. I have been involved in a review and revamp of three syllabuses for the past three months or so. Two have been passed and I have one more to go. By tomorrow, if all goes well, the project will come to a close after the third syllabus is approved by the relevant authorities.

It has been a great joy working with my team. They are a bunch of committed and fun-loving people. Praise God for all of them. It is people like them who make work something to look forward to. Even though there were down times, we were able to spur one another on and overcome those difficult phases. I will miss this group but the consolation is that we are still colleagues. I am sure there will be other opportunities for us to work together again in future.

I am also trying to increase my training sessions for the Charity Bike 'n' Blade 2012. There are 102 days left. Now that my project is ending and the university holidays are here, I will cycle more especially in the areas of distance and hill-trainings.

The past few weeks have been slow-moving. Whenever I come back from work, it is either I am too tired or simply too lazy to do anything else except to relax on my bed and catch up with some readings.

Well, procrastination needs to be overcome.

Donations for my fundraising effort have been trickling in but not much in the past few weeks. I will also take the next few weeks to consider how I can appeal to more to contribute. Well, my goal is $100 for every kilometer I ride and it is confirmed that the total distance this year is 304.81km.

I am pressing on though I have to admit that it can be quite tiring to ask for donations. :)

In my last blog, I mentioned about this elderly lady whom I met on the train and my effort to connect her with the Department of Care and Counselling in Tan Tock Seng Hospital. Well, last week after bringing her husband for a check-up, she called me to inform that they need not pay for their medication anymore as they are now under the MediFund support! Praise the Lord!

She kept thanking me for helping them out and I told her it was a joy to know that they can now free themselves from the worries of meeting their medical expenses. I encouraged them in getting well and also for the auntie not to overwork herself. She said they want to give me a simple treat for the assistance rendered. After much persistence, I relented and I will be meeting them sometime next week for a meal. :)

Two weeks ago, I also attended the Youth Ministry Leaders' retreat in Pulai Springs Resort in Johor Bahru. It was a great three-day period spent together in seeking God for directions in ministry, in studying His Word, in planning and also fellowship. I really praise God for the fruitful time spent and it is evident that He is working in and through the leaders and also the youths. I am going to keep praying that our eyes will always be fixed on God - may His name be glorified and His people edifiied always in the Youth Ministry.

I have a lot more to share because lately there were a couple of thoughts running in my mind. I have also taken a considerable amount of time praying for these thoughts. Well, I will update more in the coming days and I hope I can be more consistent in my blogs.

Oh yah! I have a testimony to share about grandma. I think I have shared before that she has been suffering from incontinence. I have been praying and I have also asked the church to intercede for her. Well, in the past one week or so, I have observed that she has stopped leaking completely when she walks to the toilet! That is truly an answered prayer! Hallelujah! :)

Well, I shall stop here for now. I need to go run some errands for my parents and grandma.

The Lord bless and keep you all! :)

Our Little Is Their Much

I just came in office a couple of minutes ago. I am usually not that late for work but today is an exception because of some train hiccups in the west.

Anyway, instead of getting frustrated which I found no point to as it would not help speed up the recovery process, I decided to strike up a conversation with someone in the train.

I spoke to an elderly lady, a cleaner, who was on her way to work. She shared with me that she must not be late for work as her pay would be deducted. She then went on to share that she needs the money to pay for both her husband's and her medical expenses.

I was then curious to know whether she has sought help for higher or full subsidy of her medical bills. She told me she did not know that there is such a scheme.

I quickly whipped out my iPad and surfed Tan Tock Seng Hospital's website for the Department of Care and Counselling. I gave the lady a number to call where she can speak to a Medical Social Worker about her plight.

I also suggested that she asked her son or daughter to help her contact the hospital and it was here I found out that her only child, a son, passed away when he was only 34 years old. :(

Before I alighted at Boon Lay Station, I gave the lady my name-card. I asked her to call me should she need my help to contact the hospital. She thanked me and that was where we parted our ways.

I just prayed for the lady and her husband that God will provide for them at this age when they should be enjoying life and not get so bogged down with medical expenses and all.

The above encounter is precisely one main reason why I am so enthusiastic in wanting to raise as much funds as possible for the Charity Bike 'n' Blade 2012. God has blessed me time and again in my life. Being able to cycle is also a blessing and now I want to use this blessing to bless others.

Sometimes I wish more can step up to donate because what we give means a lot to those who need the funds for their medical needs. Well, for now, I can only keep trying and praying.

Praise God for those who have already contributed and I know more will come forward in the remaining 129 days left. :)

It's A Privilege To Help The Under-Privileged

Finally I get to sit down and have my smoked salmon sandwiches after a really busy morning of meetings. It started at 8.30am and only ended about 15 minutes ago. My team decided that we have all the items in the agenda covered before heading off for lunch. Praise God for their commitment and perseverance.

Phase 2 of our curriculum planning is half-way through already and I am thankful that everything is going according to plan. I am supposed to be travelling during this period but it will be put on hold as some professors from the United States of America will be coming over. If we can cover as much of our planning with them as possible here then there is no need for me to travel.

I am actually okay with not travelling as I will need all the time to train for the Charity Bike 'n' Blade 2012. I do not know what am I getting myself into - 300km of gruelling terrains and weather conditions from Kuantan to Rompin (first leg) to Kota Tinggi (second leg) but I have decided to take up the challenge as it is for a good cause.

The event hopes to raise S$300,000 for two beneficiaries, namely St. Luke's Hospital and St. Luke's Eldercare. Since 31 March, I have raised $7,210 and my target is to hit $10,000. My initial goal was $5,000. As I passed each mark, I guess I will increase it by $5,000 and trust that God will provide through my friends. Well, slowly but surely, the announcement will come one day where it reads, "$300,000 achieved!"

I also managed to secure a $5,000 sponsorship and am sourcing for more. Hopefully more will come forward to do so. :)

I am looking forward to 24 August. Whether I finish the entire journey is not important. What matters is the difference we will make in the lives of the under-privileged. No matter how tough it is, I will cycle every meter and keep going! :)

If you are reading this and feel led to give, please do so at https://www.give.sg/TeamGIVE/AndyChew/charity-bike-n-blade-2012. For more information on the event, please visit http://charitybnb.sg. :)

Okie, back to work. Hope to finish earlier as I will be meeting a dear friend later for cycling (if weather permits). If not, we will have bak kut teh (pork-ribs soup) for dinner. Yums.

A Restful But Troubling Off Day

I just received a shocking news that someone in a certain country will be sold to a family because her brother could not pay up a loan he took from them. It is sad that in this era which we live in, there is still such a practice. It may be a case of desperation but to sell a sibling away is still something hard to comprehend. I pray for the Lord's hand to be in this situation and that He will make a way for this family. Sigh.

I am in the midst of raising funds for two beneficiaries: St. Luke's Eldercare and St. Luke's Hospital. It is through an event called Charity Bike 'n' Blade 2012 where a group of cyclists will be riding a distance of 300km, commencing in Kuantan for the first leg and then in Rompin for the second leg and finishing in Kota Tinggi.

This is my first time participating in a long-distance event ever since I took up cycling in September 2011. What moved me to be involved is basically to put to good use the bicycle God gave me and help others in need. I have benefited a lot since I took up this sport - exercising on a regular basis and feeling fitter having lost 16kg in 5 months. I still have quite a few more kilos to shed to reach my ideal weight but what I am now is already a progress. Hallelujah!

The route from what I heard is not easy - with numerous rolling hills, powerful head-winds, fatigue, etc. Sometimes I kind of asked myself why did I have to do this. Well, I guess I shall take it as a challenge. Whether I complete the route or not is secondary. So long as I can raise some funds to help the needy, I would be more than contented. :)

Just received a friend from the airport who is in town for a night's stopover before heading for Hong Kong. He is a professor around my age but not a typical kind. He is a surfing dude from the United States of America, teaching in Brown University. We got to know each other two years ago when we attended a conference. Since then we have been corresponding regularly.

Anyway, just left the hotel after having a short chat with him. He also brought along a bicycle part for a dear friend of mine. I had to trouble him to buy it for me as it is cheaper in the U.S.. It is a waste I am unable to catch up further with him as he has a tight schedule before leaving tomorrow morning.

Well, I shall end here.

Praise God for a short week... this being Holy Week.

I Am Still Andy Chew

On my way back from cycling after seeing a dear friend home, I encountered an ugly incident involving a Mercedes. I signaled way in advance for a right turn at a junction. A taxi gave way but this Mercedes C200 came so close to me and started honking repeatedly. If I had not veered right a little, the driver, in his late thirties, would have brushed me and I would probably have fallen off the bike in the middle of the cross junction.

Being a cyclist, I have learnt to adopt a "You-Win" mentality. If he wants to turn right first, so be it! I will let him win if it so satisifies his ego but I just cannot understand why he had to behave the way he did.

If he thinks I am going to challenge him just because he taunted me... well, I got better things to do. As he drove off, I thanked God, first of all, that I was still pedaling and in one piece. I also shared with Him my frustration and disappointment (not so much of anger) and prayed for the driver that he would come to his senses. The rest I will leave it to God to speak to that person.

Lately I have encountered many incidents involving people's behaviour. I will not go into specifics because that is not the purpose of this blog.

People can taunt me; they can make assumptions or conclusions of me; they can be dissatisfied with whatever I am doing for them; they can have all kinds of expectations of me... well, basically they can do or say anything but one thing I know is that all these will not make me, Andy Chew, a different person just to suit their taste-buds.

I am not perfect (that's what I know) and I am constantly learning but do not expect me to be the most ideal relative or brother-in-Christ or friend or colleague because I cannot. I can try - that's all I can do. But if it so changes me to be someone I am not, I am sorry, I cannot make it and I will not. My request is to accept me where I am now - both my failures and successes.

At the end of the day, I account my life to God first.

Anyway, my day has not been that great. Mum called this afternoon to inform me that grandma has been throwing her tantrums and that she poo-ed on her way to the toilet. When I came home, I asked grandma what happened and she snapped at me.

It did not help that there were several changes made to my day's schedules at work because of an urgent matter I had to attend. In the end it was due to some wrong information being sent out which caused a misunderstanding. It could have been verified right at the start by the relevant person but it was not to be.

Praise God that the matter has been rectified.

The ride was a good way of just letting off steam and also reflecting on the day's adventure. I also prayed for a couple of issues and persons.

I had a pretty good time with my dear friend who rode with me. We had a simple dinner of fish-head curry and rice at Changi Village before riding back to Marine Parade.

Well, I shall go sleep now.

A great and wonderful new day beckons. Night, all! :)

Faith Is Spelt "R-I-S-K"

‎Oswald Chambers said, "A life of faith is not a life of one glorious mountaintop experience after another, like soaring on eagle's wings, but is a life of day-in and day-out consistency; a life of walking without fainting."

His words and also a verse from Isaiah 40:31 reminded me yet again that my walk with God is not based on feelings. It is about consistency. It is about perseverance.

It is about putting Him pre-eminent - always first! Our thoughts, our words, our decisions - basically every part of us must be led by Him. This does not sound logical in the world we live in today where we are taught to take control of our lives but I guess this is where we need to learn to go against the flow. We must remember that it is not us leading Him. In many instances of our lives, we do that. He is not our slave. He is our God!

As I was pondering on today's reading, it dawned upon me that many times we are unhappy about life because we make decisions without seeking God first. We expect Him to bless us in what we have decided but not all the time, we will get what we want. God does not work that way. He is not our genie in the lamp.

Oswald Chambers further mentioned that "living a life of faith means never knowing where you are being led. But it does mean loving and knowing the One who is leading. It is literally a life of faith, not of understanding and reason - a life of knowing Him who calls us to go."

Do I dare to go into the unknown with only one known fact which is my acknowledgement of Jesus Christ as my Lord and Saviour. My honest answer is no but I would like it to be a yes and I guess that is the challenge for me. If my God is all-knowing and I know He loves me, why then should I be afraid to live a life of faith?

There are many areas in my life or decisions that I am still in the process of making which I, of course, hope God would approve of but deep down I also know He does not operate that way. The move now is whether am I willing to let them go when I know it is a clear no-no from Him. It is my prayer that I would.

Well, it remains to be seen and time will tell, I guess. May His name be glorified in the way I live my life! :)

As a friend mentioned in his FaceBook posting - "Faith is Spelt R-I-S-K."

In the morning I was out at Sungei Buloh Wetland Reserves to test out the camera equipment loaned to us. Weather was not that conducive - it was drizzling and the lighting was bad. Doing nature photography should not include flash as much as possible. Because of that, many of the photos did not turn out well. We may have to come again on a clearer day. Hopefully better results will be produced then.

It was off to campus next as I needed to drop something off in office and also to give some instructions to my secretary as I will be away on a leaders' retreat from Wednesday to Saturday.

I came home with a headache. I guess I did not have enough water. After hydrating myself and taking a nap, I woke up fine again. Praise God.

After that I did some housework. Though I have a domestic helper now, I must remember that she is only human and the load needs to be shared regardless. That said, the bedsheets were changed, the floor vacuumed and the laundry done.

I went out for a while to look for a battery grip for my camera but I was informed that it has not been released by Canon and it will take a while before I can get my hand on it. Well, I guess I will make do with what I have for now.

I wanted to ride but it drizzled so there goes my plan to do so. Perhaps tomorrow I will make another attempt before leaving for the retreat. :)

The Power of Yielding

Two days of meeting outside campus and over a rainy season is such a dampener. Pardon the pun. I have to bring an umbrella around. My socks a little wet because I accidentally stepped on a puddle of water. On top of that, it was so cold in the conference room where the discussion was held. Brrrr.... :)

Anyway, it is over. Two short work-days for my team. We just had our debrief and I am now spending some time doing my devotion and also, as you can see, blogging some thoughts down.

I am just praying next week, the weather will be drier as I need to try out some camera equipment out-field. Of course I will be handling the Canon ones while two of my team members will be using Nikon's. In fact this Saturday we will begin our photo-shoot sessions by attending the "Fashion Steps Out at Orchard." I guess it is going to be fun shooting models along Orchard Road as they strut the latest outfits for the different brands involved. I hardly do fashion-shoots but I am already so looking forward to it. :)

I was just reading today's devotion from the book, "My Utmost for His Highest" and Oswald Chambers shared in his opening paragraph which hit me instantly, "The first thing I must be willing to admit when I begin to examine what controls and dominates me is that I am the one responsible for having yielded myself to whatever it may be. If I am a slave to myself, I am to blame because somewhere in the past I yielded to myself. Likewise, if I obey God I do so because at some point of my life I yielded myself to Him."

I can almost immediately identify what he was saying. Many times we blame others or the devil or circumstances for certain struggles we go through but in all these, we hardly admit that we are usually the cause of them all. This word then comes into the picture, "Yielding."

If we yield to ourselves and subject ourselves to the lust ("I must have it now!") of this world, then we are enslaved to the things we covet for. If we yield ourselves to bearing a grudge against someone, then we will always find ourselves finding fault with the person or always being angry with him or her. If we yield ourselves to pornography, then we will subject ourselves to undesirable websites where sex and orgies reside. If we yield ourselves to greed, then we will never be satisfied with what we have. If we yield ourselves to anything which we know is displeasing to God, then what He says does not matter.

Well, basically in the course of them all, we are constantly striving and many times we find ourselves struggling to get out... that is if we ever want to.

I like it that yielding can also be to Someone who can make a difference in our lives and of course, this Someone is God Himself. We can be set free only through the power of redemption. Yielding to Jesus will break every kind of slavery in any person's life. It is my prayer that I will choose this kind of yielding.

Even now as I am blogging this lesson I learnt, already in my heart I know I have yielded to areas which I know may not be beneficial to my life. Tough, I have to admit, but I will press on and with God's help, I know I can overcome - one at a time. :)

Okay, I am distracted even as I jot my thoughts down. There are these two cute girls sitting next to me! Haha! Caught you there! I know what is in your mind. Not big girls, if you are thinking of that, but two little ones. One of them keeps coming to my MacBook and peeping into what I am doing. Every time when I know she is coming, I will switch from blogging to a YouTube video showing the PowerPuff Girls. She and her sister would then watch along with me.

Her mummy just asked what we are watching and she laughed when I told her about it. :)

That is another reason why I like to do work in the cafe. I get to talk to some of the staff whom I know after patronising for years two Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf outlets - Millennia Walk and Ion Orchard.

Okie, the two girls are coming back again. I think I shall stop here and continue with our PowerPuff Girls' video. :)

Lose To Win

Looks like I can forget about going cycling again. I am now in Millennia Walk. Just finished a meeting. I was planning to go home but when I saw the rain, I decided to buy a drink at Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf to catch up on my reading. Yesterday was also a failed attempt to ride with a dear friend due to the overcast weather. As I am still recovering, I did not want to be caught in the rain and worsen my flu which is already more than a week old.

I miss spending time in a cafe to read or to blog my thoughts. Being able to do so now is a good feeling. :)

The past one week or so, as mentioned in the opening paragraph, was spent at home recuperating. I was down with fever, sore throat, cough and flu. I was initially given two days of medical leave and a course of anti-biotics but that did not help. I had to see the doctor again. My medical leave was extended and given another course of anti-biotics. I felt better but till now, I am still not fully recovered.

Thank God for tele-conferencing, I was able to work at home and hold meetings with my team. Again, praise God for my team members! They were more concerned that I get well than being so engrossed with work when I should be resting.

This morning I took some time to do my devotion. During my reflection on some issues I am experiencing now, I was reminded that to lose at some points of my life is the road to victory. I learnt that losing is not a weakness nor victory a trophy. They are basically experiences in which help build my character.

As I was pondering on that, a song suddenly came to mind...

IN CHRIST ALONE

Verse 1:
In Christ alone will I glory,
though I could pride myself
in battles won.
For I've been blessed beyond measure
and by His strength alone, I overcome.
Oh, I could stop and count successes
like diamonds in my hands
but these trophies could not equal
to the grace, by which I stand.

Chorus:
In Christ alone,
I place my trust
and find my glory
in the power of the cross.
In every victory,
let it be said of me -
my source of strength,
my source of hope
is Christ alone.

Verse 2:
In Christ alone will I glory,
for only by His grace
I am redeemed.
And only His tender mercy
could reach beyond my weakness
to my need.
Now I seek no greater honor
than just to know Him more
and to count my gains but losses
and to the glory of my Lord.

Amen to those words of the song! :) As I was just humming along, I was challenged to do what the later segment of the second verse read, "Now I seek no greater honour than just to know Him more and to count my gains but losses and to the glory of my Lord."

It reminded me to surrender my life totally to God so that His life, who is greater than mine, can consume me in such a way that everything else around does not matter as much as Him. This is a great revelation for me because an individual's life, in complete devotion to God, is not going to be affected by the setbacks and victories of life because they are just temporary to him. What matters is the life beyond. What matters is knowing the One who gave us life. We can still enjoy everything here on earth but it must not blind us from what is eternal.

I guess I shall stop here and read my book. :)

The Sickly Feeling

I have been down with flu, cough and fever for three days already. Before that I had sore throat but that has fully recovered. Praise God!

I went to see the doctor yesterday and was prescribed with some medication. I left half-way through work as I was unable to carry on. My body felt weak and I was feeling very dazed. I also asked the doctor to check whether I have the hand-foot-mouth disease as I was informed that my godson has it. He examined me and assured me that I do not have it for now but asked me to monitor for ulcers and rashes. So far so good.

He also checked on the bruises I sustained while walking grandma at the void-deck two days ago - I was struck by a metal beam when two workers were bringing it out from the lift-shaft. He is concerned that one of the gash is still not closing up well. Tomorrow I will have to see him again and he will decide whether I will need stitching or not then.

This morning, though I was on medical leave, I had to be in campus for an important presentation. Thank God all went well and after two hours of dialogue, I headed home and have been resting since.

My fever still comes on and off. That is the irritating part of it all but praying that God will heal me soon.

I will stop here for now. There are more to write but I am just too groggy to do so.

Much To Learn As A Care-Giver

I need to exercise more patience when taking care of grandma. Lately, she has not been able to control her bladder well. Sometimes while walking to the toilet to urinate, she would leak. As much as I should understand that sometimes she may be too weak to hold her bladder, there were moments when I would raise my voice at her - just asking her stupid questions like why is she leaking, etc.

It always happened at the spur of the moment. When I come to my senses, I realised that it was insensitive of me to blame her because I know it is something that she does not wish to happen. Sigh.

I guess I have much to learn as a caregiver and I hope she would understand my frustrations at times - having to mop the floor and dry it so that she and mum would not slipped and fall; having to wash the soiled undergarments and also her sarongs; having to bring her to the toilet to rinse her legs; and after that to hang the laundry.

The above paragraph may seem like it is nothing much but having to do this a few times in the middle of the night almost daily can be overwhelming when I am already tired from a day's work in office, etc.

Anyway, I am not complaining. Just sharing my frustrations so that readers of my blogs can pray for me and of course for grandma that God will strengthen her so that she can better control her bladder, etc. I know He can heal. I just need to be patient during this healing process.

I met a dear friend yesterday evening to do a couple of things together - we went to collect our Cycle Packs at the F1 Pit-stop Building. After that we stayed around to watch the Criterium Races and also to shop around the various booths selling cycling products. Well, there were a couple of things I like but I did not buy. Maybe I shall go again tomorrow to check out. :)

After that we went to Ngee Ann City to change a bag but since there was nothing which my friend fancied, at the advice of the boutique staff, we headed to the DFS Singapore outlet, along Scotts Road, to check out the range there. She managed to find one item she likes but because of some miscommunications between both stores, we were told we cannot do the exchange.

We were quite disappointed and frustrated when told about it and having walked so far, my friend basically told the staff that the reason is unacceptable since we were informed that we can go to the DFS store to have the product exchanged. After making a few calls by the staff, the manager was able to strike a compromise and in the end, the item was changed. Praise God!

We had ramen for dinner and that was already around 9pm. I felt bad that my friend had to have her meal so late. Well, after that we headed home.

Thank God the evening ended well. :)

Okie, time to sleep. Good night, all!

God's Will Versus Mine

My legs are like jello now. In the evening, after coming home from work, I was deciding whether to cycle or not. One part of me just wanted to laze at home as I was mentally tired but the other side urged me to just change into my gears and ride on.

Well, I chose the latter as I needed to let off some steam after being bogged down by matters concerning work and home. There were also some personal thoughts running through my mind. It was a right choice because during the ride, I took the time to reflect and also spoke to God about these issues.

One personal issue I am praying about has to do with God's will versus mine. Many times I am drawn to follow my way but I know by doing so, that is disobedience. Though this concerns my future, I have to remind myself that I must not be rash in my decision. In short, I still want to glorify and honour God.

As I was praying about this, I just have this peace in my heart to just enjoy the moments. I guess I will do just that. :)

As I have stated in my FaceBook posting earlier today, I am thankful to God for my curriculum-planning team. They are a bunch of individuals who are full of initiative, enthusiasm and energy. I also forgot to mention that they are also very thoughtful.

As I was preparing to go back to teaching, I was asking God whether the team I would be working with will be a bunch of people whom I can get along... well, I guess the above-mentioned is an answered prayer. :)

Each day as I leave for work, though I know that there will be loads to conquer, I will leave my home with a smiling face. Haha. I know when my team members read this, their heads would be swelling with pride. :)

Anyway, I also took the time to pray for my family. Thank God so far everyone is well. I pray it would be so for the longest time ever because my brother and I need a break from all the shocks that the three old folks have given us.

Okie, I shall end here. Time to sleep. Looking forward to tomorrow as it is Friday! After work, I am joining my dear friend to the F1 Pit Building to collect our Cycle Pack. After that, we need to change something at Ngee Ann City.

Praise God for today and everyday.

Good night, all! :)