Good-Bye, Daddy

I just spent some time praying with mum before she goes to sleep. From tonight onwards, she will be sleeping alone. Dad passed away suddenly this morning at 8.30am in hospital.

It was sudden because no one expected the above-mentioned to happen. My brother and I received a call from the doctor, just past midnight, asking us to rush to the hospital. I knew something bad had happened to dad.

Just as we arrived at the ward, we saw dad being wheeled out quickly to the Neuro Intensive Care Unit. The doctor asked us to prepare for the worse because dad's heart stopped for 20 minutes but it came back on when they were about to give up. By this time, his condition was already very critical as his organs had failed due to the lack of oxygen in the body. He was given only a few hours to live.

My brother went back to fetch mum and grandma while I waited for my other relatives to arrive.

I managed to spend some time with dad alone. I apologised to him for having not visited him after the youth camp came to a close. I was basically very tired. At that point of time, I was updated that his condition had stabilised when the doctors treated him in the Accident and Emergency Department. I basically planned to visit him this morning. Well, it was not to be. Dad was already in a comatose when my brother and I arrived at the hospital.

I also took the opportunity to thank him for all the 40 years of showing love and care to me. I will always remember him as the father who would wake up every morning, without a complaint, to prepare the milk for me when I was toddler. And when I was in my teens, he would go out to buy food for me when I was hungry. Even after I became an adult, he would make sure that my meals are well taken care of by a simple reminder through a phone call or sms.

When I was young, every Saturday without fail, we would be out watching a movie (Star Wars was the most vivid one) or visit the Botanic Gardens (where we loved to take pictures by this huge clock) or go to Yaohan at Plaza Singapura (where I would buy my Lego and PlayMobil sets) or the zoo (where in one occasion I was flung off my feet when a horse used its head to whack me) or simply just spend time with me at home (watching football matches). 

My love for photography and Liverpool also came from dad's influences.

My first walkman and hi-fi system were also from him and I guess that was how I came to love music, especially singing.

He was also one father who would constantly forgive when I kept hurting and disappointing him, mum and grandma during my really rebellious years. When mum caned me, he would be there to be my shield. He would then apply ointment on the areas where the cane-marks were.

The person who taught me what giving is about also came from dad. He is one generous individual who would give without expecting anything in return and I thank God he has taught me this precious trait and I will definitely pass this gem on to those in the future generations.

Dad used to be the strongest and healthiest in the family. In his thirty over years in the American International Assurance company, he had never once took medical leave or visited the doctor. His physical being started deteriorating after he retired. He just could not stay at home and do nothing. He went even to the point of being a security guard at a school just so that he could do something useful. I remembered him telling me how he loved interacting with the students, teachers and parents.

Mum had a stroke a couple of years ago and dad, being the main caregiver, started feeling stressed out tending to her needs. He himself got a stroke and this led to many other complications.

Despite of his physical struggles, the family's welfare still came first in his mind and in his limited ability, he would still shower us love and care.

I am already missing him and below is a simple poem dedicated to this dear father of mine...

To my beloved father of 40 years,
Thank you for being such a dear.
From a babe to who I am today,
Thank you for showing me life's way.
Hurts and disappointments I've sometimes been,
Thank you for showing me what forgiveness means.
Sacrifices, big and small, you've made,
Thank you for letting the selfishness in me fades.
Good-bye, my daddy dearest,
In heaven we will meet soonest.

This is just a temporary departure, dad. Enjoy your first day in heaven... the street of gold must be a beautiful sight. See you again soon!