I think I have recovered from my jet-lag. It is already 10.15pm here and 4.15am in Singapore and I am still wide awake. Yesterday I was already sleeping like a log as I was super tired. Praise God for allowing me to adapt fast enough so that I can enjoy the remaining four days of my retreat.
Today marks the first day and it was already a thought-provoking session with God and also with my dear brother and sister-in-Christ who are my hosts here.
First things first, I have to say I was humbled. I have known God for 26 years since 1985 and I thought I know Him well enough to answer the questions given to me for today's reflection. Well, that spiritual pride in me was broken and I praise God that today's communion with Him caused me to not take my walk with Him for granted but instead to continue to yearn for more of Him in my life.
Today's focus was on God Himself. Two particular questions posed to me were exceptionally impactful though when you look at them, they may seem similar and so simple to answer.
1) Do you fear God? How is that reflected in your life?
The answer to the first part of the question was a "yes." Then I wrote further and said "but I still sin because my heart and mind are weak. Suddenly these two initial answers stumped me because if I said I fear God, then why am I still sinning against Him? Yes, I can never be sinless but I can surely sin less but has it been so for me?
I wrote further by saying I want to fear God but then the lures of this world can be too great for me to do so.
When I re-read what I wrote, it hit me that I was too quick to answer the question. I guess the modal answer is always a "yes" but that may not necessarily be so in my life right now. Suddenly I became very unsettled.
What I learnt is this - if I truly want to fear God and desire to live a life of godliness and holiness, then I should not be using excuses that my heart and mind are weak or that the lures of this world are simply too great. It is basically pushing of blames which at the end of day still boils down to me. Do I fear God?
If I do, then it is how I surrender my life to God that matters. Once I get the fundamentals right then it can be reflected in the way I live - as a child of God who knows His heartbeat.
2) Is Jesus the Lord and Saviour of your life? How is it reflected in your life?
I know Jesus is my Lord and Saviour. No doubt about it but whether that Lordship is reflected in my life is something that I need to press on to do. When you tell others that you have been saved by someone, that becomes a testimony. So the challenge for me is this - if I have said Jesus is my Lord and Saviour, where and what are my testimonies then?
I learnt that I need to trust God is all areas of my life and not some. By doing so He becomes truly the Lord of my life and no more just the mere profession of it. When I give Him total control, that is when He can work powerfully in and through me.
Well, all of the above-mentioned were very enlightening and I praise God for bringing me back to my senses. After that reflection in the cafe, I just strolled and prayed. I basically let God know that I want to give 100% of my life to Him and will from now on, trust in God and God alone. No more blaming of others but basically strengthening my feeble feet.
Anyway, I was only planning to stay in the cafe at D&V for lunch. Then I decided to watch the National Day Parade on my MacBook Pro while I chomped on my pizza, which was yummy. I was not planning to watch everything but each segment was so captivating that I stayed on.
I was seated along this passage-way that led to the staff's dining area. A couple of the staff who walked by became curious and asked what I was watching. I told them it was Singapore's birthday. In the end there were about four of us watching the parade.
I was initially planning to do my reflection in a park but the wind was so strong that I decided to stay put as the cafe was warm and quiet enough. One of the staff who watched the parade with me gave me a cup of coffee and that really made my day.
I walked the city-centre for a while. After that I needed to go back for dinner. I enjoyed the meal consisting of pastas and mango salad. Of course the fellowship was very insightful.
I shall end here. Looking forward to another day of wrestling with God tomorrow.
Today marks the first day and it was already a thought-provoking session with God and also with my dear brother and sister-in-Christ who are my hosts here.
First things first, I have to say I was humbled. I have known God for 26 years since 1985 and I thought I know Him well enough to answer the questions given to me for today's reflection. Well, that spiritual pride in me was broken and I praise God that today's communion with Him caused me to not take my walk with Him for granted but instead to continue to yearn for more of Him in my life.
Today's focus was on God Himself. Two particular questions posed to me were exceptionally impactful though when you look at them, they may seem similar and so simple to answer.
1) Do you fear God? How is that reflected in your life?
The answer to the first part of the question was a "yes." Then I wrote further and said "but I still sin because my heart and mind are weak. Suddenly these two initial answers stumped me because if I said I fear God, then why am I still sinning against Him? Yes, I can never be sinless but I can surely sin less but has it been so for me?
I wrote further by saying I want to fear God but then the lures of this world can be too great for me to do so.
When I re-read what I wrote, it hit me that I was too quick to answer the question. I guess the modal answer is always a "yes" but that may not necessarily be so in my life right now. Suddenly I became very unsettled.
What I learnt is this - if I truly want to fear God and desire to live a life of godliness and holiness, then I should not be using excuses that my heart and mind are weak or that the lures of this world are simply too great. It is basically pushing of blames which at the end of day still boils down to me. Do I fear God?
If I do, then it is how I surrender my life to God that matters. Once I get the fundamentals right then it can be reflected in the way I live - as a child of God who knows His heartbeat.
2) Is Jesus the Lord and Saviour of your life? How is it reflected in your life?
I know Jesus is my Lord and Saviour. No doubt about it but whether that Lordship is reflected in my life is something that I need to press on to do. When you tell others that you have been saved by someone, that becomes a testimony. So the challenge for me is this - if I have said Jesus is my Lord and Saviour, where and what are my testimonies then?
I learnt that I need to trust God is all areas of my life and not some. By doing so He becomes truly the Lord of my life and no more just the mere profession of it. When I give Him total control, that is when He can work powerfully in and through me.
Well, all of the above-mentioned were very enlightening and I praise God for bringing me back to my senses. After that reflection in the cafe, I just strolled and prayed. I basically let God know that I want to give 100% of my life to Him and will from now on, trust in God and God alone. No more blaming of others but basically strengthening my feeble feet.
Anyway, I was only planning to stay in the cafe at D&V for lunch. Then I decided to watch the National Day Parade on my MacBook Pro while I chomped on my pizza, which was yummy. I was not planning to watch everything but each segment was so captivating that I stayed on.
I was seated along this passage-way that led to the staff's dining area. A couple of the staff who walked by became curious and asked what I was watching. I told them it was Singapore's birthday. In the end there were about four of us watching the parade.
I was initially planning to do my reflection in a park but the wind was so strong that I decided to stay put as the cafe was warm and quiet enough. One of the staff who watched the parade with me gave me a cup of coffee and that really made my day.
I walked the city-centre for a while. After that I needed to go back for dinner. I enjoyed the meal consisting of pastas and mango salad. Of course the fellowship was very insightful.
I shall end here. Looking forward to another day of wrestling with God tomorrow.
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