I have been having pretty bad headache since the accident. The doctor who saw me yesterday said that it is common for victims suffering from whiplash to experience the pounding effect on the head. The neck area is still stiff but much better than two nights ago.
I spent the whole afternoon in the hospital collecting my medications and then having to wait a long while for my turn to have my neck and spine areas examined. The outpatient clinic was exceptionally crowded. Perhaps it was the eve of a public holiday that the hospital is receiving a surge of patients.
After having a very late lunch and running some errands in the town area, I headed home. As usual I was hoping to rest but rest I did not get. Grandma and mum were at loggerheads again over an unusual ant-infestation in their rooms. They were spraying so much insecticides that when I entered the flat, I could hardly breathe in a pocket of fresh air.
I told them spraying itself does not help as we need to find the source of the attraction. In grandma's room, to my horror, she has a couple of bags of food items in boxes stashed beside her cupboard. Some of them are already decomposing. I asked her why keep all these stuff in her room and not the kitchen. No answers.
As for my parents' room, I know it is caused by dad because he eats stuff in the room. I could see crumps on the floor and all.
I reached a point where I had to gather the three old folks in the hall and explained to them the cause. Instead of thanking me, as usual, I was told off by dad that where he wants to eat his stuff it is his business. I prayed and asked God to help me exercise self-control. As for grandma and mum, I told them that solving matters with a hot head will not make them better. Mum then made the same old remarks that grandma is creating all these unnecessary problems. Grandma then said that she is better off dead.
After hearing all that from dad, mum and grandma, I just had to put my foot down and told them to listen to what they are saying. Three elderly members of the family, with a combined age of 230 years, behaving like a bunch of kids.
I told them I have been trying to reach out to everyone. I have been reacting to crises at home in a calm and controlled manner... always retreating myself when there is an issue because I do not want to regret my action for having said or done something which may hurt the other party involved. But what do I get in return? No effort whatsoever from them to make things better at home. I asked them why. I implored them to pray about what I have shared. After that, I went to throw away all the food items, sweep the floor and wash up.
The rest of the night, whatever that was left of it, I spent in the room.
I wanted to blog about the above-mentioned last night but I decided against it as I was flustered. In my cries to God when I spent some time in prayer and praise, I asked Him why are my loved ones behaving negatively towards me? They are either giving me the hostile treatment as if I have said something very unreasonable or they are giving me the cold treatment as if I am non-existent. I am like nothing to them!
I told God that I have been applying all the lessons I have learnt from my retreat and I have been controlling myself from saying and doing the wrong things to my grandma, dad, mum, brother and sister but everyone does not seem to consider my feelings. I have been reaching out to them but who is going to reach out to me?
I know I need to persevere. I know I need to keep on praying. I know I need to love. I know I need to forgive. I know this is a learning process. But I also know I am a HUMAN with FEELINGS! Sometimes I wonder whether they have forgotten that.
I was unable to sleep well. I woke up at around 5.30am and I decided to go for a walk. I did not talk to God but instead I decided to be still. I just needed His peace to be upon me. It was a good one-hour exercise and time spent with the only One who knows and understands me best.
I came home, ironed the clothes and washed up. Usually I would strike a conversation with everyone at home but I decided not to today. Perhaps I should just leave everyone alone for a while. Hopefully it will do them and me good.
I will not give up loving them. I will keep praying. I will continue to reach out. I have a big God beside me to keep me going.
I am not sure what to do for the day yet. I shall see how.
During the walk at the park, this thought came to mine about my loved ones - "Sometimes wanting to be a master over something, they became a slave to it instead." The words were as clear now as when I was walking and keeping quiet. Is it a warning? To all or to a specific person?
I shall ponder and seek God on this throughout the day.
I spent the whole afternoon in the hospital collecting my medications and then having to wait a long while for my turn to have my neck and spine areas examined. The outpatient clinic was exceptionally crowded. Perhaps it was the eve of a public holiday that the hospital is receiving a surge of patients.
After having a very late lunch and running some errands in the town area, I headed home. As usual I was hoping to rest but rest I did not get. Grandma and mum were at loggerheads again over an unusual ant-infestation in their rooms. They were spraying so much insecticides that when I entered the flat, I could hardly breathe in a pocket of fresh air.
I told them spraying itself does not help as we need to find the source of the attraction. In grandma's room, to my horror, she has a couple of bags of food items in boxes stashed beside her cupboard. Some of them are already decomposing. I asked her why keep all these stuff in her room and not the kitchen. No answers.
As for my parents' room, I know it is caused by dad because he eats stuff in the room. I could see crumps on the floor and all.
I reached a point where I had to gather the three old folks in the hall and explained to them the cause. Instead of thanking me, as usual, I was told off by dad that where he wants to eat his stuff it is his business. I prayed and asked God to help me exercise self-control. As for grandma and mum, I told them that solving matters with a hot head will not make them better. Mum then made the same old remarks that grandma is creating all these unnecessary problems. Grandma then said that she is better off dead.
After hearing all that from dad, mum and grandma, I just had to put my foot down and told them to listen to what they are saying. Three elderly members of the family, with a combined age of 230 years, behaving like a bunch of kids.
I told them I have been trying to reach out to everyone. I have been reacting to crises at home in a calm and controlled manner... always retreating myself when there is an issue because I do not want to regret my action for having said or done something which may hurt the other party involved. But what do I get in return? No effort whatsoever from them to make things better at home. I asked them why. I implored them to pray about what I have shared. After that, I went to throw away all the food items, sweep the floor and wash up.
The rest of the night, whatever that was left of it, I spent in the room.
I wanted to blog about the above-mentioned last night but I decided against it as I was flustered. In my cries to God when I spent some time in prayer and praise, I asked Him why are my loved ones behaving negatively towards me? They are either giving me the hostile treatment as if I have said something very unreasonable or they are giving me the cold treatment as if I am non-existent. I am like nothing to them!
I told God that I have been applying all the lessons I have learnt from my retreat and I have been controlling myself from saying and doing the wrong things to my grandma, dad, mum, brother and sister but everyone does not seem to consider my feelings. I have been reaching out to them but who is going to reach out to me?
I know I need to persevere. I know I need to keep on praying. I know I need to love. I know I need to forgive. I know this is a learning process. But I also know I am a HUMAN with FEELINGS! Sometimes I wonder whether they have forgotten that.
I was unable to sleep well. I woke up at around 5.30am and I decided to go for a walk. I did not talk to God but instead I decided to be still. I just needed His peace to be upon me. It was a good one-hour exercise and time spent with the only One who knows and understands me best.
I came home, ironed the clothes and washed up. Usually I would strike a conversation with everyone at home but I decided not to today. Perhaps I should just leave everyone alone for a while. Hopefully it will do them and me good.
I will not give up loving them. I will keep praying. I will continue to reach out. I have a big God beside me to keep me going.
I am not sure what to do for the day yet. I shall see how.
During the walk at the park, this thought came to mine about my loved ones - "Sometimes wanting to be a master over something, they became a slave to it instead." The words were as clear now as when I was walking and keeping quiet. Is it a warning? To all or to a specific person?
I shall ponder and seek God on this throughout the day.
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