I experienced some pretty unpleasant encounters in the past few days. As the title of this blog states, it is the stigma of being single at the age of 36. Though this does not bother me much, I am still saddened by some who make assumptions which, at the end of the day, can be unfair to me. Hence the disappointment and sadness I feel in my heart.
One encounter has got to do with an impression some individuals have of me that I have ulterior motives when I am closed to someone of the opposite gender who is much younger than me. By this I meant the concern that I am actually going after a young individual, as in courtship. I am okay about the concern aspect but not to the point where conclusions are drawn when I did not have that kind of motives in the first place.
Anyway, I have concluded that if my conscience is clear then I should not be too bothered by this. If I begin to behave awkwardly, then it would show others that I am actually guilty. Hopefully time will show these persons that they have made wrong conclusions and assumptions.
The other encounter was truly an insensitive remark being made. I was asked whether I am a gay because I am still single at this age. The sad thing is this person actually knows me. When I heard that statement being made, I was hurt but so be it. Every one is entitled to their opinion of another and I cannot always defend what they think of me.
Then another remark was made in the subsequent conversation which did not help me either. Another individual commented that perhaps it could be due to my weight; that I should go on a diet so that girls will come after a slimmer Andy Chew. If that is the case, I would rather remain single for the rest of my life because I know superficiality will not bring two parties far.
Why are we so superficial? I use "we" because I am equally guilty of being insensitive and assuming at times.
Well, another interesting part of my pilgrim's journey. Anyway, it is not that I do not want to change my status from being single to married. I cannot, because of what others think of me, rush into a relationship which, if not handled properly, will cause two lives and a friendship to be broken. I would rather maintain the friendship than to break it just because I want to be accepted in society as a married individual; to succumb to peer pressure; to cheapen the love God has given and taught me just because the world has a warped idea of what love is.
I guess I have shared enough. May the Lord be my help in all things!
Time to sleep. I have to babysit Claire tomorrow though I have no clue yet as to the time and place of meet. I am looking forward to it and I pray we will all have fun together.
"Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD." Leviticus 19:18
One encounter has got to do with an impression some individuals have of me that I have ulterior motives when I am closed to someone of the opposite gender who is much younger than me. By this I meant the concern that I am actually going after a young individual, as in courtship. I am okay about the concern aspect but not to the point where conclusions are drawn when I did not have that kind of motives in the first place.
Anyway, I have concluded that if my conscience is clear then I should not be too bothered by this. If I begin to behave awkwardly, then it would show others that I am actually guilty. Hopefully time will show these persons that they have made wrong conclusions and assumptions.
The other encounter was truly an insensitive remark being made. I was asked whether I am a gay because I am still single at this age. The sad thing is this person actually knows me. When I heard that statement being made, I was hurt but so be it. Every one is entitled to their opinion of another and I cannot always defend what they think of me.
Then another remark was made in the subsequent conversation which did not help me either. Another individual commented that perhaps it could be due to my weight; that I should go on a diet so that girls will come after a slimmer Andy Chew. If that is the case, I would rather remain single for the rest of my life because I know superficiality will not bring two parties far.
Why are we so superficial? I use "we" because I am equally guilty of being insensitive and assuming at times.
Well, another interesting part of my pilgrim's journey. Anyway, it is not that I do not want to change my status from being single to married. I cannot, because of what others think of me, rush into a relationship which, if not handled properly, will cause two lives and a friendship to be broken. I would rather maintain the friendship than to break it just because I want to be accepted in society as a married individual; to succumb to peer pressure; to cheapen the love God has given and taught me just because the world has a warped idea of what love is.
I guess I have shared enough. May the Lord be my help in all things!
Time to sleep. I have to babysit Claire tomorrow though I have no clue yet as to the time and place of meet. I am looking forward to it and I pray we will all have fun together.
"Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD." Leviticus 19:18
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