How Easy I Forget!

How easy it is for me to forget God's goodness and presence in my life? Yesterday I was talking about how God helped me in my preparations for the Missions Ministry's exhibition. This afternoon I totally forgot that He could have helped me again when I was told by one of the printing shops' staff that my format for the posters was wrong and too big.

My sister was with me when we went shopping for some stuff. Along the way we found this one shop in Peninsula Plaza and that was when I was told about the above-mentioned. Of course I got frustrated and anxious as it was a tedious process to do the layouts of all 8 posters. The thought of re-doing the whole thing at that point of time almost killed me.

As always, she was kind enough to sit down with me at a food-court to see whether she could re-do the layout. It was possible but just too time-consuming. Moreover she had to leave early to meet her family for dinner. With that, I decided to just call it a day. Oh yah, I called another sister-in-Christ and she advised me as to what else I could have done.

As I look back now, I was blinded by a lot of alternatives and avenues which the Lord had provided. I was too engrossed with my anxieties that I was totally oblivious to His presence and promptings.

First, there was my sister whom I know was willing to help me with the reformatting of the posters. Second, there was this other sister-in-Christ who actually asked me to send her the first format which I did to see whether she could help me. Third, another brother-in-Christ also offered his assistance which I mentioned yesterday. Fourth, my sister asked me to consider other shops to see whether they could help. Four solutions given to me and yet I chose to focus on the problem.

I guess this is the result of leaning too much on my own understanding in resolving a problem hence forgetting the One who could have helped me solve it!

I felt really lousy after seeing my sister off at the bus-stop. I decided to walk to Bras Basah Complex to see whether the shops over there could help me. My sister's mum actually suggested this place when she was told that we were going to print the posters.

I prayed as I walked to the complex, asking God to provide a way out for me. I also sought His forgiveness for having reacted negatively to this little problem. I am able to say it is "little" now because my eyes are opened to my foolishness and childishness. This afternoon the whole saga felt as if the end of the world was approaching. :(

Anyway, I walked around and found this shop which was already closing for the day. I walked away but this lady in the shop saw me and asked how she could assist. I shared with her the problem mentioned earlier in the blog. She asked for my thumb-drive, opened the file, considered the problem and said she could resolve the matter for me.

Man, I have never heave such a huge sigh of relief when she assured me that she could do it. Realising that I needed to print 8 A2-size posters, she asked whether I could pick them up tomorrow. I told her I was unable to as I had prior appointments made. She spoke to her colleagues and they all decided to help me do the lay-outs and printing.

Within 45 minutes, everything was done. I thanked all of them profusely, paid for their services and headed home happily. I hung on to those posters ever so tightly when I was heading home as they are prized products of the struggles I have been experiencing since last week.

Though ashamed of the way I handled this matter, I have nothing else to say except thanks be to God!

I hope I will remind myself constantly that God will always be there for me. He had seen me through more serious and life-threatening issues in my pilgrim's journey and yet in small problems like this afternoon's, I have failed to notice His presence.

Lord, be patient with me, I pray.

All glory to Him!

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

I Am Helped!

I am so happy now. The past few days I have been struggling so hard to do all the 8 posters for the Missions Ministry's Exhibition, which will be held during my church's fundraising dinner this Friday. I have never experienced such inertia. Amazing but true!

Every time I wanted to get down to do the above-mentioned, I would just get distracted and ended up doing other stuff - going shopping, watch a movie, go online, etc. Then this procrastination led to anxieties and frustrations. Just yesterday I was at the peak of my worries as I really had no idea how I should present the work of missions in my church.

I guess I struggled in the sense where I do not want the exhibition to portray a picture of achievements because the Missions Ministry is not about counting one's accomplishments. It is more so giving glory to God for all that had happened and also ministering to the people who have yet to know Jesus Christ as their Lord and Saviour.

Thanks be to God for those of you who have interceded for me! That really made a difference. I am especially thankful to my dear sister for being there to help me do the lay-outs and also giving ideas. She could have spent today doing other stuff but she chose to be there for her big brother. I am very blest and I praise God for her! :)

A dear brother also offered to help me. I told him I would probably need his assistance in the area of printing the posters but I shall see how it goes tomorrow when I do the final touch-ups.

The above two paragraphs served as a reminder that there are siblings-in-Christ who are willing to lend a hand when one is in need. I take comfort in that. Praise God for the bond of love!

I basically have one worry left and that is whether the printers accept Microsoft Publisher's format. I will spend some time in prayer later, asking the Lord to clear the path for me.

Well, I guess that is all I want to share for now. I am physically and mentally drained! Looking forward to my sleep now. I pray it will freshen me up for a brand new day tomorrow which I am now truly looking forward to! Yay!

Glory to God on high!

"The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song." Psalm 28:7

Find Rest In God Alone

I am now at Ngee Ann City's Coffee Bean Cafe. The new semester is starting soon. I have decided to clear my leave from now till the last day of the varsity's holidays. Actually I did not have the intention to visit the cafe as I had initially scheduled a couple of activities for the day. All fell through. Since I did not want to be cooped up at home, I decided to come here and just spend some time doing my Missions Ministry's Exhibition stuff. Hopefully the Lord will give me some inspiration to kick off the preparations.

I went for a walk with my dog this morning. Sasha woke me up at 7am and as always licked my face to let me know she was ready to play. I did not have much sleep as I only went to bed at around 3am. I was just spending time praying and reading God's Word as my heart was super-heavy after a conversation with my sister.

I sat under a tree and just kept quiet before the Lord - listening to the howling of the wind, the rustling of the leaves, the chirping of birds, the barking of Sasha and the other dogs playing with her, etc. It was refreshing to be still.

I read the Word of God and then submitted to God the burdens of my heart.

Well, I guess I shall stop here and get some preparations done. Still no inspiration. Lord, please help me.

"Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge." Psalm 62:5-8

Lives Matter!

It has been three days since I came back from Cambodia. Since then my heart has been very burdened and uneasy. There is this sense of insecurity and uncertainty. I wish I have the exact word to pinpoint my feelings now but I just could not find one in my vocabulary list.

I have also been procrastinating in preparing for the Missions Committee's exhibition at my church's fundraising dinner next Friday. I told myself I will get it done after my trip but it is already mid-week and I have not carried out any work yet.

It is not that I do not want to do it - my way of dealing with work is to get it done sooner than later so that I do not have to be bugged by it. The struggle for me now is where to start and how to present the work of missions to the guests whom majority of them are not from my church. In fact, there will be a considerable number who are not even Christians.

As mentioned in my last blog, I left Cambodia with a heavy heart because I do not see the Khmer church, which my church is supporting, growing. Year in, year out, it is the same number of people. There seems to be more struggles in the organisation which the church comes under and also the people's walk with God than growth. Surely something is wrong somewhere.

The frustrating part is that I do not know exactly what is the exact problem. Probably it is a combination of problems. I am basically concerned for the spiritual and physical well-being of my Khmer siblings-in-Christ. If something is not done quickly, then many of them will fall away eventually. I am not discounting the fact that God can move but how so is something that the leadership of the church, the Missions Committee and I need to seek.

Suddenly I feel insecure and inadequate in my leadership as the Missions Committee chairperson. I guess I have to find my sufficiency in the Lord. It is a tiring process but I will press on. May God be my help in this.

I am also disturbed and angry about another matter pertaining to my area of ministry but I am praying this will not lead me to judge and cause others to stumble. I will not share what it is due to the confidentiality of the matter. It just saddens my heart that certain decisions are made without actually being sensitive and discerning about the parties concerned. I pray that the Lord will open our eyes. Well, may God guide me again in this.

What is missions all about? It is basically about lives - those who are ministering and those who are being ministered! May God have mercy on my church and me if we have failed to carry out the Great Commission properly. It is not as easy as just planning mission trips and programmes (basically the feel-good factor) and making decisions pertaining to money matters or infrastructures - at the end of it all, how lives are being touched is of utmost importance!

I am sharing the above-mentioned so that those who are reading this blog will keep me in prayer. My burdens as mentioned above have affected me spiritually (state of inadequacy) physically (having constant headaches), emotionally (easily angered, frustrated and agitated) and mentally (no motivation to do anything whatsoever - in a state of stagnation).

I needed to let all these out as they have been welling up in me since I came back! Though I am feeling the way I am now, I will press on - standing firm in my faith that God will move and show me the way! I have no doubt about that but for now, being a human, I am exhausted!

Well, this is part and parcel of my journey as a pilgrim. This struggle will come to past soon because God will make a way where there seems to be no way. He works in ways we cannot see - He will make a way! He will surely make a way! I have been singing the words of this song since Monday and they have brought about hope. :)

I shall end here.

"Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God." Psalm 42:11

Showers Of Blessings

I came back yesterday night from a hectic three-day work-trip to Cambodia. I left on Friday morning. After arriving at Phnom Penh International Airport, the hectic schedules began. It was basically visitation upon visitation. By the time each day ended, my Missions Committee member and I were drained physically, emotionally and mentally. Both of us have never slept so soundly before. :)

Yesterday morning I could have slept much later if not for one of the most eventful day of my life. I was woken up abruptly by my Missions Committee member! The whole room was flooded! A tube linking the washing machine to the pipe got dislodged overnight and the whole of the third and fourth floors were water-logged.

We spent about an hour or so drying the place up. We had to rush as we were all running late for the morning service at the Khmer church that my church is supporting. Just before we left the house, my missionary-friend's wife, while carrying her baby girl and walking down the stairs, tripped and hurt her back. She felt a little giddy after that and had to rest. After assessing that she was fine, my missionary-friend decided to go ahead with the church-visit we planned. His wife stayed home to recuperate.

Well, we were late as there were several traffic congestions along the way. It is election period for the country and there were loads of supporters from various political parties holding their walk-abouts.

It was great to catch up with my Khmer siblings-in-Christ at the church though my heart was saddened at the attendance. There were only about 14 worshippers. Several could not come as they had to work; some had to take care of their children who are sick, mainly for stomach ailment. I felt so burdened that I decided to spend some time praying for each and every one of them by name. I trust that God will heal those who are sick; make time for those who are working to come to church; and to bring about a revival in the church.

My team stayed back to fellowship with the members. Many of them were excited to know that two mission teams from my church will be coming over in December. :) I am looking forward to that trip too.

Well, the whole of yesterday got to do with water! On our way to the airport, it started to pour! In fact, I do not know what other words to use to describe how heavy the rain was! I have never seen such rain before. My missionary-friend tried to rush to the airport as we were late. Praise the Lord we managed to be there in one piece and just slightly late. The right side of my clothes were drenched as water started to seep into the van. That was how terrible the weather was!

The flight back to Singapore was delayed due to the downpour. My Missions Committee member and I basically had drinks at the cafe. I also called my sister to chat with her as she was unwell with sore throat, flu and outbreak of rashes. Thank God she is much better now after seeing the doctor this afternoon.

Oh yah! Another thing which got to do with water was the need to sponge my missionary-friend's daughter whose temperature rose to as high as 40.1 degrees Celsius. It happened just after midnight. Praise God that she has recovered since!

Wow! Water! What an encounter with it! When I was in the plane, I was just reflecting. Was yesterday a bad day? Why did one incident happen after another? Well, one thing I realised was this - though so many things occured without any of us expecting them, every one of us were not disheartened or angry or discouraged.

My missionary-friend could have reacted with anxieties for his wife and his house but he did not. Instead thoughout the time he sang hymns and songs of praise! His wife, who was injured, did not react with anger against the flood for making her fall. Instead she was still able to smile and assured us that all would be fine. My Missions Committee member just quietly did the mopping of the floor and said he would use that period as quiet time with the Lord. For me, as I was doing the cleaning up, I basically prayed.

All of us could have just given up and concluded that it would be a bad day but we did not! Thanks be to God for that! With the attitude that God is in control and that we could all learn something from yesterday's experience, it gave us hope to go through the next hour without much fear or despair. Hallelujah!

My conclusion to the above-mentioned was this - the water which overflowed at my missionary-friend's home and the heavy downpour were evidences of God's blessings rained upon my missionary-friend and his family; my Mission Committee member; and me! Thanks be to God for them! All of us learnt something good which will now be beneficial to our pilgrim's journey.

That is all I want to share for now though there are a lot more to blog about. I shall do it soon.

I am tired. Time to sleep.

Good night!

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

Cambodia, Here I Come Again!

I have been sneezing non-stop since I came home. I took two flu tablets, Vitamin Cs and have been drinking lots and lots of water. I hope after resting tonight, I will be fine. I know I will because a dear sister-in-Christ prayed for me. :)

I have to be up at 4:30am. I need to be at the airport by 6am to check in my stuff and some other items belonging to a dear brother-in-Christ, who is now serving as a missionary in Cambodia. I praise the Lord another dear brother-in-Christ is giving me a lift. That will save me a lot of trouble especially at this unearthly hour. Praise the Lord for His providence!

I am actually quite zombified now. After coming back from shopping this evening, to buy some stuff for my missionary-friend, I did some more packing for the trip. I also needed to reply to some work emails.

I had to submit a report on a study I made and thanks be to God, I managed to complete them in an hour. The deadline is next week but I was asked to do so by this week instead as the document is needed for a meeting on Monday. Since I will be away till Sunday night, I decided to complete the remaining one-third of the write-up by today! That will also take a load off my shoulders when I am in Cambodia. :)

I bought three pairs of jeans today at a sale. My sister and I have been looking around for them for more than two weeks already but could not find any nice ones. While I was walking around Plaza Singapura, I chanced upon the sale and out of the shop, I carried with me three bags of stuff. These three should last me for the next two years. Haha. Yay! No need to crack my brains and strain my eyes for more anymore! I got them at 40% off!

I was out with my sister for a short while. We watched a movie and had a quick dinner before we went on our separate ways. It was a relatively good time spent together. Praise the Lord!

Oh yah, this morning while I was doing my devotion, it was brought to my attention that my temper and emotions have been a little short and moody lately. I guess my heart has been troubled by a couple of stuff. It does not help that I am unsure whether to move forward or not. Some of my closer friends may know what I am struggling with and it is my prayer that the Lord will show me the way.

Though the above-mentioned is so, it does not give me the excuse to behave in a stumbling manner to those I know and do not know. I have to exercise self-control regardless of how I am feeling and what I am going through now.

Many times we feel that we have the right to behave in a certain negative way because we are going through a difficult patch. I guess that is the pitfall to avoid at all course as it is the scheme of the evil one to want us to believe so.

What I learnt this morning was to submit that burden to the Lord and let Him deal with it while I go on with the adventure of each day. Well, may the Lord be my prompter as I take each step of my pilgrim's journey.

Oh yah, I went to watch the Magic Box performance with my sister last night. I shall blog on that another time.

I shall sleep now! Before I go, do pray for me that the trip to Cambodia will be a fruitful one - that I will have a good time of fellowship with all the missionaries and the new pastor of the Khmer church which my church is supporting; that I will be able to gather all the information I need for the exhibits at my church's fundraising dinner; and that God will grant me journey mercies.

I guess that is all. Good night to all and have a blessed weekend ahead! :)

"Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens." Psalm 68:19

God Is Not A Trouble-Maker But A Trouble-Taker!

This morning I was making enquiries about air-tickets to Cambodia. It was kind of last minute as I have to travel out by Friday morning and be back on Sunday evening. This is the only window I can make for the trip. It was planned so late also because I was waiting for the green light from a missionary as to whether the door-gifts that his workers are doing for my church's funraising dinner event on 1 August would be ready. It was only yesterday that I was told they would.

This period is also good as I need some time to prepare for the Missions Ministry's Exhibition at the fundraising event on 1 August. The trip will be quite hectic as I need to gather latest information of all the ministries that my church is supporting. I also need to take photographs as I believe they speak louder than words expressed.

After checking with a few agents, I began to panic as the prices were scary - between the range of S$550 to S$795. I tried the budget airlines but the tickets were sold out.

I took some time to pray and while I was doing that, I was prompted to call my Senior Pastor for any sources that she might have. Indeed she had! I called the agent and thanks be to God, I managed to get the ticket at S$408! I decided to bring another Missions Committee member along as I need him to help me with the gathering of information and also to connect with the missionaries whom my church are supporting.

Well, answered prayer from the Lord! It was a great encouragement for me as my morning did not start off well due to a very bad backache. I was also quite troubled over a matter which I managed to surrender to God. There is this nagging feeling still but I know I will overcome this burden soon. I basically need the Lord to help me clear all the obstacles. At the end of it all, I would want His name to be glorified and the people involved edified.

The rest of the day was spent on clearing work emails and also finishing a report. By the time I was done, I was actually quite exhausted. My backache started acting up again towards the early evening but it subsided after a while.

Praise the Lord for this day! He will make all things beautiful in its time.

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me." John 14:1

Blessings From Above!

I am very happy today. In the early afternoon I realised I have enough funds now to help a Cambodian family who are in dire straits. The sole breadwinner of the household lost the use of his hands due to an accident at work. As he needs to feed his four kids and wife, their financial status has been in bad shape. A dear brother-in-Christ, who is a missionary, wrote an email to me last month to request whether I could help pool some money to buy a tuk-tuk. It is for several purposes: one is for the man of the household to use it as a taxi to earn some income for himself to support his family; two is also for it to be used as a taxi by another member of the church to pay off his loan (I guess they have to do so in shifts); three is for the church to use it as a mean of transportation to ferry some members to and from church on Sundays!

Well, I thought it would be tough to gather the funds but God again showed me how good He is! All thanks and praise to Him! :)

It is basically encounters like what I have shared above which have allowed me to persevere in my pilgrim's journey. To me this road is not a lonely one because I have my God to walk alongside me. Once in a while, blessings like the above-mentioned just added that extra boost and caused me to desire to know Him deeper and also to serve His people. I mean, who would not want to know this God who has always been at work in the lives of many in this world?! :)

I must say this weekend has been a joyful one - yesterday I was out with my sister and her family on a picnic by the beach along East Coast Park. We prepared stuff like salmon and egg sandwiches, fried rice, chicken nuggets, Carl's Junior's chilli beef cheese fries, cha soba and drinks. The food was in abundance that we could not finish them even though my sister's nieces were also with us.

Oh yah, I brought Sasha along and as always, every one adored her. She was running around with the kids. She also jumped into the sea to play ball with a Golden Retriever. I do not know why but my sister and her sister loves my Silky Terrier's butt! *scratching head* Haha.

Anyway, when Sasha and I were on our way home in the cab, the doggy was so tired that she actually slept through the ride. She gave me a scare though. After I bathed her and all, her right eye suddenly could not open. It remained as that till night-time. I got so worried that I decided to flush it with water. It did not get any better. Knowing that I was at my wit's end, I prayed for healing.

Guess what? This morning, she was completely fine. Praise the Lord!

Okie, enough shared! Time for me to sleep soon!

To God be the glory!

Have a blessed week ahead, everyone!

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. "Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! 12So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets." Matthew 7:7-10

A Day Of Random Thoughts

About 30 minutes ago I got quite angry with dad for feeding Sasha the cake he was eating. All these while I do not encourage my family to let my Silky Terrier consume human food. My fear is that certain ingredients in them may cause some physical problems to my doggy especially her skin since she has long coat.

I take pride that Sasha has not been sick since she became a part of the family in February 2007. I felt I needed to make it known to every one to ensure that we keep to certain rules when it comes to feeding the princess of the house.

I just evaluated whether it was rude of me to chide my dad for what he did. My conclusion is that I was not but I guess I need to ask him whether he was alright with what I said. I shall do that tomorrow morning when I see him again.

This afternoon I have been answering several emails related to work. This is one of those rare moments where there was this sudden influx of mails. Praise the Lord I managed to send all of them out. Oh yah, I have concluded that the word "Urgent" has been misused several times when one sends out an email to another. I hope we will be careful with the usage in future. If this is being abused, then in future "Urgent" will not be seen as one anymore. It is like the case of a boy cries wolf. Names will not be mentioned here because we all know whether we are guilty or not with this abuse of words!

Anyway, my heart is quite burdened for the Missions Ministry's exhibits that I need to put them at the fundraising dinner on 1 August 2008. It just dawned upon me that there is not much time left to prepare. In fact I do not have sufficient information especially from the missionaries overseas to showcase what the church has been doing with regards to the work of missions in Cambodia.

Well, I have submitted to the Lord these anxieties and I know He will help me complete everything before event! :)

Nothing much to write but no matter what, thanks be to God for guiding me through this day!

Choices

I went for a walk with my doggy this morning at the park. The weather was cool and very nice for a stroll. It felt as if I was in a temperate country. One of the rare mornings with such low temperature. Thanks be to God for that!

As usual I would let Sasha run around while I sat next to a tree and read God's Word. I read Genesis 3 and throughout the time when I was pondering on this chapter, the word, "Choices," kept running in my mind.

It then occured to me that life is about making choices. Though God mentioned to Adam and Eve not to eat the fruit of a particular tree, He did not stand guard by it to make sure they adhered to His instruction. Adam and Eve were given the freedom to choose. They were instructed and they knew what they needed to do but in the end it was their choice to decide - whether to obey or rebel?

As I evaluated on my life, it dawned upon me that I have been making many choices throughout my 36 years on this earth. Some choices were wrong (like purposely doing badly in my studies when I was in primary school just so that I could spite my mum for always pressurising me to excel); some were silly (always getting myself into trouble by joining a gang); others were right (in making a decision to accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and Saviour).

One thing I learnt this morning was this - though in the course of my life I have made wrong choices, it does not mean that it is the end of the road for me. Yes, it can be painful at times having to bear the consequences of my choices but at the end of the day, another choice needs to be made - the choice to continue feeling lousy or the choice to consider how I can bring myself out of this and turn things around.

Wrong choices can be made right. Remember this. So long as you have the ability to choose, there is always a way out!

I was also reminded that most of the time when a choice needs to be made, we would roughly know which one to choose. The struggle for us is that sometimes we choose the opposite - instead of loving, we choose to hate; instead of forgiving, we choose to bear grudges; instead of living a holy and godly lifestyle, we choose to sin by our unwillingness to let go of our pet sins; instead of making a difference in someone else's life, we choose to be self-centered; instead of spending time with God, we choose to play computer games, watching TV, etc; instead of trusting others, we choose to doubt them; instead of being happy, we choose to be sad. These are just some examples.

Let us make the right choice the next time when we have to make one. Why put ourselves through misery and regret by going against?

Let me end with this - include God in your choices! You will not go wrong. Well, now it is your choice whether to believe this statement or not. :)

"Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the LORD God had made. He said to the woman, "Did God really say, 'You must not eat from any tree in the garden'?" The woman said to the serpent, "We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, 'You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.'" "You will not surely die," the serpent said to the woman. "For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil." When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves. Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the LORD God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the LORD God among the trees of the garden. But the LORD God called to the man, "Where are you?" He answered, "I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid." And he said, "Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?" The man said, "The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it." Then the LORD God said to the woman, "What is this you have done?" The woman said, "The serpent deceived me, and I ate." Genesis 3:1-13

Life Is Like A Rollerblading Experience!

This evening the running gang decided to go to Changi Beach area for our weekly run. I was glad they made an exception for me. As MacRitchie Reservoir's terrain does not allow me to rollerblade there, my dear friends chose Changi instead so that I could do so while they ran.

It was a good time of exercising and reflection. I also learnt a lesson or two along the way. I have to say that the pathway along Changi Beach is not really that suitable for rollerbladers as the ground was undulating. There were also lots of twigs. The big ones sometimes caused me to stumble. Throughout I had to look down to see whether the path I took was safe. There were also slopes to look out for - some were gentle while there were others which were pretty steep. The latter ones were quite scary. There were a few times when I had to take some calculated risks and trust that God would protect me from losing control as my speed accelerated while going down.

I guess my life's journey is like that too. There will always be ups and downs like the uneven road I took while I was blading. Life is always an adventure! I also need to occasionally look at the "twigs" of my life (sins, temptations, the way I carry myself, my view of life, the words I use, the way I treat others, my attitude towards the things I do, etc). If I do not keep all these in check, then these obstacles will cause me to stumble. Of course when that happens, the fall would be very hard and painful. The slopes I encountered sort of symbolise the way I trust God to lead me in all the decisions I have to make in different transitions of my life. Some will be easy to make while there are others where I just have to trust God to guide me as I go ahead with my decisions.

Well, though the rollerblading experience was quite tedious with so many things to look for, I had lots of fun though. Life should be fun to go through too! We learn as we fall; we grow with each experience we go through; we find satisfaction and contentment with each transition; etc. Yes, there will be setbacks but let us not forget what comes after that? Sunshine after the rain; a rainbow after a storm!

Thanks be to God for that!

Well, I am looking forward to the new week ahead. I do not know what God has in store for me but I know they are going to be real good! :)

Have a blessed week, everyone! I am tired. Time to sleep. :)

"Strengthen the feeble hands, steady the knees that give way; say to those with fearful hearts, "Be strong, do not fear; your God will come...... he will come to save you." Isaiah 35:3-4

Seek First; Then Act!

Today is a day of mixed feelings. The whole afternoon I was busy doing a write-up related to work and it took me several hours to have it completed. It was a last-minute assignment thrusted upon me. Though I did not feel like taking it, I decided to do so for my colleague who is down with severe food-poisoning. I pray she will get well soon.

Anyway, I was hesitant to do the above paper because I did not have enough information to do so. Moreover I have other work matters to handle which I am in the midst of doing. The frustration mounted when my notebook became uncooperative. It basically swallowed up 5 pages of what I had written. They went missing suddenly and pressing the 'Undo' function did not help retrieve the missing data.

I had to re-write that particular segment again and being agitated as I was, I did not put in as much effort as I did initially. All I wanted was to get the work over and done with. I did finish the article though and I praise the Lord for helping me out.

In the morning I went out for a walk with my doggy. As usual, I let her run around the park while I spent some moments reading God's Word and praying. I was just seeking God in a particular area of my life which I will want to keep it private for now. It has burdened me for a while. I guess I just needed some peace and also assurance from the Lord. Sometimes what the human heart desires may not be in line with what God wants for me. Well, I still do not have the answers but I shall wait and let Him show me the way.

I spent a considerable amount praying and also being in quiet. I guess the struggle above also added up to the mixed emotions I have been experiencing the whole day. It did not help also that physically I am still unwell. My back still gives me some discomfort though I must say that my neck is much better - being able to turn my head more without feeling much pain. Praise the Lord for that.

I am also burdened for someone close to me. I submitted this dear individual's struggles to God. I was even more troubled when I heard that there is no improvement to something that this dear sibling is working on. I trust that the Lord will make a way soon.

I am also struggling with a project that I am doing for the Missions Ministry. I am still trying to find the relation and purpose to this whole matter. I hope I am making sense in what I have written so far in this paragraph - you know, sometimes it is hard to move on in doing something when you do not see the connection. Maybe I should speak to the person-in-charge and understand better the objective of it all. I am sure the Lord will direct me accordingly.

In the evening I went out with my sister to do a little shopping. We just needed to get away from what we were doing. Well, I praise the Lord for the fun we had buying some stuff and spending a considerable amount of time fellowshipping with one another over dinner.

Well, I am feeling better now. One of those days in my pilgrim's journey that I need to face the battle of emotions. Sitting down now writing this blog has caused me to realise that God has pulled me through the day. He has helped me resolved a couple of the stuff I mentioned above. :)

Time for me to stop here and catch a wink or two.

Thanks be to God for all things! :)

Have a blessed weekend, everyone!

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? "And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:25-34

Fleshly Behaviour Vs Godly Behaviour

I have a confession to make. As much as I feel I have the right to feel this way but it is no excuse for me to behave the way I did yesterday.

Anyway, towards the later part of the afternoon I was on my way to Queensway Shopping Centre to look for a bag where I can put my pair of rollerblades in. I took a bus from North Bridge Road and it was one of the worst rides I have ever had. I thought it was just for a while that the driver drove the way he did. In the end it was not to be.

Usually drivers would brake gradually when reaching a stop but not for this guy. He would wait till the last minute then he would do it - causing those standing to grab the handles they could find and holding them on with their dear lives! There were also a couple of elderly passengers and I could tell that they were feeling a little uncomfortable physically. In fact, when I got off the bus, I felt as if I was on a boat before. Basically there was this rocking feeling in me. For a moment, I needed to recompose myself by regulating my breathing patterns.

Anyway, there reached point where I could not take it anymore. I went to the driver and told him to be more considerate and to drive carefully and I even used the word "please". What angered me more was he was indfferent to my complain and continued with his reckless driving.

I went online using my PDA-phone and called the SBS Transit hotline. As the line was closed already, I left a message and describe the whole incident in the voice recording service. I hope someone from the bus company will call me soon.

I thought about it for a long while and felt that it was only right for me to file a complain on this maniac driver. It is basically an accident waiting to happen and surely I pray it will not be.

What I felt I did wrong was the outward expression of my anger which the passengers around me could see and hear. I was fuming basically as I was always sitting at the edge of my seat, staring at the driver; I was also using unedifying words like "shit" and "idiot' very regularly. There was also this voice screaming out to me to just shout at the driver to wake up his ideas. I thank God that I was able to control myself and not do it as it would really get very ugly if I did so.

Looking back now, it seems a little comical too - in the above paragraph, I was actually cursing and swearing but sometimes in between I would pray for the driver that God could speak to him. Then when he did the sudden braking again, I would snap into my angry mode again.

Anyway, when I got off the bus and while the driver was waiting for the countless passengers to board, I stood and stared at the driver at an angle by the side of the road where he could see me. Once in a while he would glance toward my direction and I would just glare at him as if fire would just shoot out from my eyes and burn him to ashes! That was how angry I was.

I came home after buying my bag - not from Queensway Shopping Cenre but back at North Bridge Road in Peninsula Plaza. I took some time to reflect on what had happened. I sought the Lord for forgiveness and prayed for the driver that God would protect him against any mishap and that he would be more careful and thoughtful as he drives.

Well, a harrowing experience it was. I am happy with the bag I bought. Small but big enough to hold my rollerblades and still have space for me to put my wrist-guards, towel and water-bottle. Yay!

At least that was the consolation to the unpleasant ride I had. Yesterday morning I was with my sister - we treked at MacRitchie Reservoir and also went on the tree-top walk. We basically walked for three hours, covering the circuit of the reservoir. It was tiring but a good time of exercise for the both of us.

We wanted to trek all the way to Bukit Timah Hill but in the end we could not as we needed to fetch my sister's younger sister from school.

The three of us went to MacDonalds for lunch and we also ran some errands before we went on our separate ways.

I guess that is all. Time to stop here and get some work done.

Have a great day ahead!

“The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? "I the LORD search the heart and examine the mind, to reward a man according to his conduct, according to what his deeds deserve.” Jeremiah 17:9-10