Love With Actions And In Truth!

Ever had this struggle I am having now - where you want to show love and concern for your loved ones but when put into actions, they become a nag, a reprimand and sometimes condescending.

Well, I am going through that now - at home especially. Like towards my mum, who is still recuperating, I want to show my care and concern towards what she eats and drinks but when I tell her the do's and don'ts, it seems as if I am commanding and scolding her. It was not meant to be that way but out of nowhere, what I perceived things to be is not the same in reality.

Another case is towards my dad where I want him to be there for mum when I am not around but when I am trying to convey that message, my tone makes it sound as if he has not been doing that and that he has been negligent.

Last example is towards grandma - she has been showing lots of care and concern for mum as in always making sure that mum eats and drinks properly and sufficiently. Sometimes I feel that she is overdoing them but instead of affirming her that she has been doing right but perhaps overdoing it, I made it sound as if it is wrong in whatever she has been doing so far.

At the end, every one gets affected and instead of things turning out right, they all turn out wrong.

I think I am stressed out by recent events at home. As much as I have been praying but I think I am not totally surrendering. I also think I am putting a lot of burdens on myself and it is perhaps time for me to let go of some and let the rest of the family members to share the load.

Well, praise God for sounding this off. I guess I will need to take time off and gather my thoughts and get my act right.

I am done sharing for today. I pray for a restful weekend and a refreshing time of worship to God on Sunday in church.

Good night everyone!

"Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth." 1 John 3:18

P.S.: It is so weird... after all the sharing above, I was thinking what Bible passage should I ponder and popped came this verse when I went to www.biblegateway.com. It just hit the nail on the head! Praise God!

Living The Faith Starts At Home

Mum is sick again - she is down with urine infection and because of that, she is having a fever and feeling cold at the same time. Dad brought her to see the family doctor and was prescribed antibiotics to counter the infection. This medication adds on to the many which she has to consume every day.

When I was told by grandma over the phone that mum was down, I felt very frustrated! I questioned God as to why this must happen to mum again and in the process cause many inconveniences and anxieties to the rest of the family members.

As I remained quiet, hoping for an answer, I realised it was a selfish cry because it was not so much due to my concern for mum which made me question God but more so the dreadful thought of having to handle her medical issues again. Of course this means I have lesser time for myself again after just two weeks since her discharge from hospital.

The above revelation of my inward looking thought taught me to not be too quick to question God every time something unpleasant happens but instead to be still and just search my heart regarding the things I say to God and to know that He is GOD.

Before writing this blog, I spent some time praying. During the conversation with my Abba Father, He revealed to me another thing which I was challenged to do - that is the need for me to live out my faith as much as possible at home.

I have to confess that I have not been doing much, as in openly, simply because it is something that the family is not used to though 4 out of 5 are Christians. We do not pray together; say grace before meals; read the Bible together; ask one another about what we have learnt from the Bible and the weekly sermons; embracing one another with the love of God.

Yes, I can use excuses like we are Asians; that this is not a practice of the family; that this can cause awkwardness; that we have to be sensitive to my brother who is a pre-believer; etc. At the end of the day, dad, mum, grandma and I have to acknowledge that our faith in God must start at home. What we practice in church must also be lived out at home and since I know this now, it has to start with me.

Well, not easy, sad to say, but I will give it a shot from tomorrow onwards. I will not be too aggressive but I shall take baby steps and see how it goes from there.

Thanks be to God for allowing me to learn more lessons today. :)

Sleeping time. Good night!

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you." Philippians 4:8-9

Serve Whole-heartedly

It has been 5 days since mum was discharged and I am glad that she is recuperating well at home. She has been moving around quite a bit. Though I am concerned that she may be overworking herself, I am also relieved that she is at least up and about. I guess she has to do everything in moderation and I will try my best to remind her.

I am still trying to re-energise myself after a hectic two weeks of trying to handle matters at home. Frankly I still feel drained. It does not help that this week will be quite busy with my cousin's wedding and also with matters concerning the Missions Ministry. I am trying my best to get back in momentum concerning this area of responsibility that God has entrusted me with.

One of my weaknesses is trying to handle things by myself and forgetting many times that there is a Committee available to assist me. Today a dear brother from the Committee asked how I was and I guess he is willing to share a load of what I am bearing now. I am encouraged by that and I also praise God for sounding off to me that I need to let go and allow others to help me.

I need prayers from all of you who are reading my blog. I was telling my Pastor-in-Charge that there are many times I want to do a lot of things for God and His people but I just do not have the time to give my all as I have other commitments (like that of home and work matters) to handle as well.

One thing she reminded me of hit me - yes, there are many commitments in life but when we offer God our time for church ministry, it should not be the leftovers. That is so true. I guess I am at this point of my journey where I need to learn to set aside time deliberately for ministries so that they will not be neglected. Easy to say but hard to practice. No matter what, I will try to adapt and change accordingly. :)

Well, a new week has arrived and I will look forward to it no matter what the challenges may be. I know God is still leading the way. I just pray I will have the faith to follow Him.

Oh yah, yesterday I witnessed a vehicular accident right before my very eyes - while a dear brother-in-Christ was giving me and my God-sister a ride home, a car suddenly jammed its brakes along the main road, spun and came to a stop when it hit a side-barrier.

My brother-in-Christ stopped the car by the side of the road and we went to make sure the driver was alright. Thank God he was but his car was quite a wreck. After confirming that he was completely fine, we went on with our journey.

It was quite an experience for me.

Anyway, time to sleep. It has been a tiring day after being at church in the morning; at Botanic Gardens in the afternoon with my God-sister, her sister and nieces; at MacRitchie Reservoir with the running gang. I enjoyed the time of fellowship though. It was refreshing and encouraging.

I enjoyed the time at Botanic Gardens as I was engrossed with my macro-photography where I took many shots of a dragon-fly at very close range (photos attached). It allowed me to admire the beauty of God's creation simply by an insect. :) I also took a picture of a moth when I was at MacRitchie Reservoir (photo also attached).

Good night, everyone and have a blessed week ahead!

"Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not men, because you know that the Lord will reward everyone for whatever good he does, whether he is slave or free." Ephesians 6:7-8

Restoration In Progress

Mum was discharged from hospital yesterday after being admitted last Thursday. Praise God everything, as in the tests carried out on her, turned out well except for the kidney stone. Her glucose level is still a bit high but definitely much lower than last week. Her blood pressure has gone back to normal.

Well, I praise God for seeing mum through the six days in the Singapore General Hospital. She rested well during this period and I guess that helped.

I am also happy mum is adapting well since coming home. In fact this morning she made an appointment with the hairdresser to have her hair set. :)

I guess that is a good sign. What I am praying now is that mum will be more careful of what she eats and drinks from henceforth. She over-indulges at times but now she must know that she cannot if she does not want to be admitted again.

I am tired - physically, mentally and emotionally. I hope to be restored soon so that I can get back with my own life - there are much to do yet no time and energy for that.

No matter what, God has always been good and I know He will keep me and all at home going! :)

"Your righteousness reaches to the skies, O God, you who have done great things. Who, O God, is like you? Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up." Psalm 71:19-20

God Is Good To Mum And All

I am glad and relieved that mum will be coming home tomorrow after staying in hospital for almost a week. Praise the Lord that so far most of the results for the tests carried out have turned out good except for the kidney stone.

Mum's sugar level has dropped to 7.4 which is the best since her admission. Well, I am praying now that she will be careful in what she consumes when she gets back to the routines of life again. I guess I will have to keep reminding her and also to ask dad to keep a look-out since they are always together.

I did not see mum today as I needed to do something for my brother at his shop. He went to the hospital in the evening and it was there that he got all the updates.

In anticipation of mum's discharge from the hospital, I did some housework just now - mopping the floor and washing all the fans in every room and in the hall. It was tiring but it was all worth it.

I went to watch a movie with my God-sister at Orchard Cineleisure. It was this show entitled, "Defiance" - a story about how some 1200 Jews were saved from the atrocities of the Germans and how they fought for their freedom by protecting themselves.

The one thing that kept coming back to me while watching the show was this - that man in general is sinful and that is why God sent His Son to die for all and not some. Yes, though the Jews were oppressed by the Nazis, their actions also sometimes showed the down-fall of man by killing Germans in the name of vengeance and stealing from farmers in the name of saving themselves against starvation.

One phrase I learnt from the main actor (wordings may not be exact but here's the gist of it) - "though we may be hunted by the Germans like animals but that does not mean we have to be like animals by killing unnecessarily." Easy to say but hard to practise especially in a war context but we should all try not to live lives like animals because others are treating us like one.

Anyway, I am tired.

It has been a restful day! Praise God!

Yay! Mummy is coming home! :)

"If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. On the contrary: "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head." Romans 12:18-20

One Step At A Time

It has been a few days since I last blogged. I have been busy and tired with having to run to and from hospital, visiting mum; frustrated with matters of the household as there are much to be done but no time to attend to all; trying to stay positive so that others at home like grandma and dad do not worry unnecessarily.

Sometimes I just needed to get out of the hospital and home just to retain certain sanity and it helps by doing some activities like photography (quite therapeutic, I must say, taking shots of nature and people, allowing me to see things in fresh new perspectives and of course communing with God as I go along) and doing a bit of shopping of groceries and visiting the bookstores and pet shops.

I am supposed to lead worship this coming Sunday but looking at the amount of things I have to handle at home, I had to make a selfish decision by requesting for someone else to replace me. Preparing for worship session takes time and lately it is not easy for me to have that luxury to sit down and seek God in considering the flow of the session and the songs to be used. The Worship Team have been supportive and accommodating and I praise God for my siblings-in-Christ serving alongside me.

Just yesterday I realised I have neglected also the Missions Ministry which I am committed to as a chairperson. It is my prayer that I will adapt to the current situation I am in and at least spare some time to deal with this area of ministry and not lay it dormant.

I submitted all of the above-mentioned to God when I was worshipping Him at the service. I was prompted to do two things: to take one step at a time to deal with the numerous responsibilities and tasks mentioned; to keep in constant step with God by reading His Word so that it continues to fall on good soils and in prayer.

Well, after all the yada yada... praise God mum is feeling better now. She gets tired easily but she is definitely much stronger as compared to the day she was admitted. I requested of the doctor to do a full medical examination on her so that nothing is missed out since mum is an ex-stroke and cancer patient.

Just today I was told mum has a kidney stone which will be blasted some time this week with laser treatment. I guess by tomorrow more results will be released for the other tests done on her.

I am grateful to God for His grace and mercy on mum. The doctor told me the other day that if mum had delayed her admission by another day, she would have suffered a massive stroke and the condition would have been irrevisible. I was relieved to hear that. Truly all thanks and praise to the Giver of life for His goodness!

I shall end here. Need to do some ironing now. :)

ONE STEP AT A TIME!

"Again Jesus began to teach by the lake. The crowd that gathered around him was so large that he got into a boat and sat in it out on the lake, while all the people were along the shore at the water's edge. He taught them many things by parables, and in his teaching said: "Listen! A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants, so that they did not bear grain. Still other seed fell on good soil. It came up, grew and produced a crop, multiplying thirty, sixty, or even a hundred times." Then Jesus said, "He who has ears to hear, let him hear." When he was alone, the Twelve and the others around him asked him about the parables. He told them, "The secret of the kingdom of God has been given to you. But to those on the outside everything is said in parables so that, "'they may be ever seeing but never perceiving, and ever hearing but never understanding; otherwise they might turn and be forgiven!'" Then Jesus said to them, "Don't you understand this parable? How then will you understand any parable? The farmer sows the word. Some people are like seed along the path, where the word is sown. As soon as they hear it, Satan comes and takes away the word that was sown in them. Others, like seed sown on rocky places, hear the word and at once receive it with joy. But since they have no root, they last only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, they quickly fall away. Still others, like seed sown among thorns, hear the word; but the worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things come in and choke the word, making it unfruitful. Others, like seed sown on good soil, hear the word, accept it, and produce a crop—thirty, sixty or even a hundred times what was sown." Mark 4:1-20

God's Healing Grace

I just came back from the hospital. Mum was admitted this afternoon as she was trembling badly and incoherent in her speech and action. We brought her to our family doctor and her blood pressure was abnormally high.

As mum was a stroke patient, the doctor suggested that we send her to the Accident and Emergency Department so that further tests can be carried out.

The initial results showed that mum's sugar level is very high and there is some anomaly in her blood. More tests will be carried out tomorrow to ascertain the actual problem.

This whole incident happened when I was out running some errands. When the family doctor called me, I got a shock and immediately rushed to the clinic to fetch mum to the hospital. As I feared the worst, I messaged a couple of my siblings-in-Christ to intercede for mum.

All thanks and praise to God for answering all our prayers as mum's condition seems to have stabilised when the doctors treated her.

Well, I am tired. Tummy is still not too good.

I covet continued prayers for mum from those reading my blog and are my fellow siblings-in-Christ.

"Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray. Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of praise. Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective." James 5:13-16

Diarrhoea Galore

I thought I had recovered from a mild food poisoning a few days ago but I was wrong. I woke up this morning, feeling very weak and my tummy was churning. Last night after dinner I already felt weird as in having that bloated feeling. I took some medication and went to sleep.

I recovered from the bloatedness but diarrhoea came next and I had to visit the toilet several times. After all that purging, I felt like a prune and had to hydrate myself by consuming lots of water and istonic drinks.

I basically slept through the day. In the afternoon, fever set in but it has subsided since.

I am feeling much better now (though weak) after taking several courses of charcoal tablets. My stools are hardening too so that is a good sign, I guess.

My doggy played nurse today by keeping me company. She was sleeping next to me almost all the time and licking me whenever I tossed around in bed. Haha.

Well, that sums up my day. Praise God for sustaining me till now. :)

Friends Forever

I shall keep this short as I am feeling unwell from a case of mild food poisoning. I do not know which food I ate that caused me to have diarrhoea. Over the weekend, it was really pigging out time with mainly the MacRitchie Running Fellowship. I think we should now call ourselves the MacRitchie Eating Fellowship. Haha.

On Saturday, the gang met for a Lunar New Year Feast at East Ocean Restaurant in Shaw Towers. Yesterday we had fried spring chicken at Arnold's in City Plaza. In the evening I had dinner with my God-son and his family at IKEA.

I enjoyed the time of fellowship with these my siblings-in-Christ. We have been friends for more than 10 years already. It is my prayer that we will continue this friendship for as long as possible and that this group will grow deeper in building each other up in the faith.

On Friday I went to the Flower Festival in Sentosa with my sister. We took a lot of pictures of the wide varieties of flowers featured. We also watched the Chingay Festival at the viewing gallery in Marina Square. I won two tickets in a contest organised by the People's Association.

We were initially thinking of buying two tickets from another friend but since I won them, we cancelled our reservation which I felt bad doing that. Frankly, I would rather buy the tickets as the location for those is much better than the one my sister and I were at.

Anyway, we also took a lot of pictures at the event though I do not particularly like night photography due to the absence of light.

That said, the above-mentioned affirmed in me my love for photography. I will spend a considerable amount of time in 2009 to better myself in this skill and to use it to encourage the people around me. :)

Well, time for me to end here. I shall sleep now and hopefully by tomorrow I will be well.

Good night, all and have a blessed week!