I Am Still Andy Chew

On my way back from cycling after seeing a dear friend home, I encountered an ugly incident involving a Mercedes. I signaled way in advance for a right turn at a junction. A taxi gave way but this Mercedes C200 came so close to me and started honking repeatedly. If I had not veered right a little, the driver, in his late thirties, would have brushed me and I would probably have fallen off the bike in the middle of the cross junction.

Being a cyclist, I have learnt to adopt a "You-Win" mentality. If he wants to turn right first, so be it! I will let him win if it so satisifies his ego but I just cannot understand why he had to behave the way he did.

If he thinks I am going to challenge him just because he taunted me... well, I got better things to do. As he drove off, I thanked God, first of all, that I was still pedaling and in one piece. I also shared with Him my frustration and disappointment (not so much of anger) and prayed for the driver that he would come to his senses. The rest I will leave it to God to speak to that person.

Lately I have encountered many incidents involving people's behaviour. I will not go into specifics because that is not the purpose of this blog.

People can taunt me; they can make assumptions or conclusions of me; they can be dissatisfied with whatever I am doing for them; they can have all kinds of expectations of me... well, basically they can do or say anything but one thing I know is that all these will not make me, Andy Chew, a different person just to suit their taste-buds.

I am not perfect (that's what I know) and I am constantly learning but do not expect me to be the most ideal relative or brother-in-Christ or friend or colleague because I cannot. I can try - that's all I can do. But if it so changes me to be someone I am not, I am sorry, I cannot make it and I will not. My request is to accept me where I am now - both my failures and successes.

At the end of the day, I account my life to God first.

Anyway, my day has not been that great. Mum called this afternoon to inform me that grandma has been throwing her tantrums and that she poo-ed on her way to the toilet. When I came home, I asked grandma what happened and she snapped at me.

It did not help that there were several changes made to my day's schedules at work because of an urgent matter I had to attend. In the end it was due to some wrong information being sent out which caused a misunderstanding. It could have been verified right at the start by the relevant person but it was not to be.

Praise God that the matter has been rectified.

The ride was a good way of just letting off steam and also reflecting on the day's adventure. I also prayed for a couple of issues and persons.

I had a pretty good time with my dear friend who rode with me. We had a simple dinner of fish-head curry and rice at Changi Village before riding back to Marine Parade.

Well, I shall go sleep now.

A great and wonderful new day beckons. Night, all! :)

Faith Is Spelt "R-I-S-K"

‎Oswald Chambers said, "A life of faith is not a life of one glorious mountaintop experience after another, like soaring on eagle's wings, but is a life of day-in and day-out consistency; a life of walking without fainting."

His words and also a verse from Isaiah 40:31 reminded me yet again that my walk with God is not based on feelings. It is about consistency. It is about perseverance.

It is about putting Him pre-eminent - always first! Our thoughts, our words, our decisions - basically every part of us must be led by Him. This does not sound logical in the world we live in today where we are taught to take control of our lives but I guess this is where we need to learn to go against the flow. We must remember that it is not us leading Him. In many instances of our lives, we do that. He is not our slave. He is our God!

As I was pondering on today's reading, it dawned upon me that many times we are unhappy about life because we make decisions without seeking God first. We expect Him to bless us in what we have decided but not all the time, we will get what we want. God does not work that way. He is not our genie in the lamp.

Oswald Chambers further mentioned that "living a life of faith means never knowing where you are being led. But it does mean loving and knowing the One who is leading. It is literally a life of faith, not of understanding and reason - a life of knowing Him who calls us to go."

Do I dare to go into the unknown with only one known fact which is my acknowledgement of Jesus Christ as my Lord and Saviour. My honest answer is no but I would like it to be a yes and I guess that is the challenge for me. If my God is all-knowing and I know He loves me, why then should I be afraid to live a life of faith?

There are many areas in my life or decisions that I am still in the process of making which I, of course, hope God would approve of but deep down I also know He does not operate that way. The move now is whether am I willing to let them go when I know it is a clear no-no from Him. It is my prayer that I would.

Well, it remains to be seen and time will tell, I guess. May His name be glorified in the way I live my life! :)

As a friend mentioned in his FaceBook posting - "Faith is Spelt R-I-S-K."

In the morning I was out at Sungei Buloh Wetland Reserves to test out the camera equipment loaned to us. Weather was not that conducive - it was drizzling and the lighting was bad. Doing nature photography should not include flash as much as possible. Because of that, many of the photos did not turn out well. We may have to come again on a clearer day. Hopefully better results will be produced then.

It was off to campus next as I needed to drop something off in office and also to give some instructions to my secretary as I will be away on a leaders' retreat from Wednesday to Saturday.

I came home with a headache. I guess I did not have enough water. After hydrating myself and taking a nap, I woke up fine again. Praise God.

After that I did some housework. Though I have a domestic helper now, I must remember that she is only human and the load needs to be shared regardless. That said, the bedsheets were changed, the floor vacuumed and the laundry done.

I went out for a while to look for a battery grip for my camera but I was informed that it has not been released by Canon and it will take a while before I can get my hand on it. Well, I guess I will make do with what I have for now.

I wanted to ride but it drizzled so there goes my plan to do so. Perhaps tomorrow I will make another attempt before leaving for the retreat. :)

The Power of Yielding

Two days of meeting outside campus and over a rainy season is such a dampener. Pardon the pun. I have to bring an umbrella around. My socks a little wet because I accidentally stepped on a puddle of water. On top of that, it was so cold in the conference room where the discussion was held. Brrrr.... :)

Anyway, it is over. Two short work-days for my team. We just had our debrief and I am now spending some time doing my devotion and also, as you can see, blogging some thoughts down.

I am just praying next week, the weather will be drier as I need to try out some camera equipment out-field. Of course I will be handling the Canon ones while two of my team members will be using Nikon's. In fact this Saturday we will begin our photo-shoot sessions by attending the "Fashion Steps Out at Orchard." I guess it is going to be fun shooting models along Orchard Road as they strut the latest outfits for the different brands involved. I hardly do fashion-shoots but I am already so looking forward to it. :)

I was just reading today's devotion from the book, "My Utmost for His Highest" and Oswald Chambers shared in his opening paragraph which hit me instantly, "The first thing I must be willing to admit when I begin to examine what controls and dominates me is that I am the one responsible for having yielded myself to whatever it may be. If I am a slave to myself, I am to blame because somewhere in the past I yielded to myself. Likewise, if I obey God I do so because at some point of my life I yielded myself to Him."

I can almost immediately identify what he was saying. Many times we blame others or the devil or circumstances for certain struggles we go through but in all these, we hardly admit that we are usually the cause of them all. This word then comes into the picture, "Yielding."

If we yield to ourselves and subject ourselves to the lust ("I must have it now!") of this world, then we are enslaved to the things we covet for. If we yield ourselves to bearing a grudge against someone, then we will always find ourselves finding fault with the person or always being angry with him or her. If we yield ourselves to pornography, then we will subject ourselves to undesirable websites where sex and orgies reside. If we yield ourselves to greed, then we will never be satisfied with what we have. If we yield ourselves to anything which we know is displeasing to God, then what He says does not matter.

Well, basically in the course of them all, we are constantly striving and many times we find ourselves struggling to get out... that is if we ever want to.

I like it that yielding can also be to Someone who can make a difference in our lives and of course, this Someone is God Himself. We can be set free only through the power of redemption. Yielding to Jesus will break every kind of slavery in any person's life. It is my prayer that I will choose this kind of yielding.

Even now as I am blogging this lesson I learnt, already in my heart I know I have yielded to areas which I know may not be beneficial to my life. Tough, I have to admit, but I will press on and with God's help, I know I can overcome - one at a time. :)

Okay, I am distracted even as I jot my thoughts down. There are these two cute girls sitting next to me! Haha! Caught you there! I know what is in your mind. Not big girls, if you are thinking of that, but two little ones. One of them keeps coming to my MacBook and peeping into what I am doing. Every time when I know she is coming, I will switch from blogging to a YouTube video showing the PowerPuff Girls. She and her sister would then watch along with me.

Her mummy just asked what we are watching and she laughed when I told her about it. :)

That is another reason why I like to do work in the cafe. I get to talk to some of the staff whom I know after patronising for years two Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf outlets - Millennia Walk and Ion Orchard.

Okie, the two girls are coming back again. I think I shall stop here and continue with our PowerPuff Girls' video. :)

Lose To Win

Looks like I can forget about going cycling again. I am now in Millennia Walk. Just finished a meeting. I was planning to go home but when I saw the rain, I decided to buy a drink at Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf to catch up on my reading. Yesterday was also a failed attempt to ride with a dear friend due to the overcast weather. As I am still recovering, I did not want to be caught in the rain and worsen my flu which is already more than a week old.

I miss spending time in a cafe to read or to blog my thoughts. Being able to do so now is a good feeling. :)

The past one week or so, as mentioned in the opening paragraph, was spent at home recuperating. I was down with fever, sore throat, cough and flu. I was initially given two days of medical leave and a course of anti-biotics but that did not help. I had to see the doctor again. My medical leave was extended and given another course of anti-biotics. I felt better but till now, I am still not fully recovered.

Thank God for tele-conferencing, I was able to work at home and hold meetings with my team. Again, praise God for my team members! They were more concerned that I get well than being so engrossed with work when I should be resting.

This morning I took some time to do my devotion. During my reflection on some issues I am experiencing now, I was reminded that to lose at some points of my life is the road to victory. I learnt that losing is not a weakness nor victory a trophy. They are basically experiences in which help build my character.

As I was pondering on that, a song suddenly came to mind...

IN CHRIST ALONE

Verse 1:
In Christ alone will I glory,
though I could pride myself
in battles won.
For I've been blessed beyond measure
and by His strength alone, I overcome.
Oh, I could stop and count successes
like diamonds in my hands
but these trophies could not equal
to the grace, by which I stand.

Chorus:
In Christ alone,
I place my trust
and find my glory
in the power of the cross.
In every victory,
let it be said of me -
my source of strength,
my source of hope
is Christ alone.

Verse 2:
In Christ alone will I glory,
for only by His grace
I am redeemed.
And only His tender mercy
could reach beyond my weakness
to my need.
Now I seek no greater honor
than just to know Him more
and to count my gains but losses
and to the glory of my Lord.

Amen to those words of the song! :) As I was just humming along, I was challenged to do what the later segment of the second verse read, "Now I seek no greater honour than just to know Him more and to count my gains but losses and to the glory of my Lord."

It reminded me to surrender my life totally to God so that His life, who is greater than mine, can consume me in such a way that everything else around does not matter as much as Him. This is a great revelation for me because an individual's life, in complete devotion to God, is not going to be affected by the setbacks and victories of life because they are just temporary to him. What matters is the life beyond. What matters is knowing the One who gave us life. We can still enjoy everything here on earth but it must not blind us from what is eternal.

I guess I shall stop here and read my book. :)

The Sickly Feeling

I have been down with flu, cough and fever for three days already. Before that I had sore throat but that has fully recovered. Praise God!

I went to see the doctor yesterday and was prescribed with some medication. I left half-way through work as I was unable to carry on. My body felt weak and I was feeling very dazed. I also asked the doctor to check whether I have the hand-foot-mouth disease as I was informed that my godson has it. He examined me and assured me that I do not have it for now but asked me to monitor for ulcers and rashes. So far so good.

He also checked on the bruises I sustained while walking grandma at the void-deck two days ago - I was struck by a metal beam when two workers were bringing it out from the lift-shaft. He is concerned that one of the gash is still not closing up well. Tomorrow I will have to see him again and he will decide whether I will need stitching or not then.

This morning, though I was on medical leave, I had to be in campus for an important presentation. Thank God all went well and after two hours of dialogue, I headed home and have been resting since.

My fever still comes on and off. That is the irritating part of it all but praying that God will heal me soon.

I will stop here for now. There are more to write but I am just too groggy to do so.

Much To Learn As A Care-Giver

I need to exercise more patience when taking care of grandma. Lately, she has not been able to control her bladder well. Sometimes while walking to the toilet to urinate, she would leak. As much as I should understand that sometimes she may be too weak to hold her bladder, there were moments when I would raise my voice at her - just asking her stupid questions like why is she leaking, etc.

It always happened at the spur of the moment. When I come to my senses, I realised that it was insensitive of me to blame her because I know it is something that she does not wish to happen. Sigh.

I guess I have much to learn as a caregiver and I hope she would understand my frustrations at times - having to mop the floor and dry it so that she and mum would not slipped and fall; having to wash the soiled undergarments and also her sarongs; having to bring her to the toilet to rinse her legs; and after that to hang the laundry.

The above paragraph may seem like it is nothing much but having to do this a few times in the middle of the night almost daily can be overwhelming when I am already tired from a day's work in office, etc.

Anyway, I am not complaining. Just sharing my frustrations so that readers of my blogs can pray for me and of course for grandma that God will strengthen her so that she can better control her bladder, etc. I know He can heal. I just need to be patient during this healing process.

I met a dear friend yesterday evening to do a couple of things together - we went to collect our Cycle Packs at the F1 Pit-stop Building. After that we stayed around to watch the Criterium Races and also to shop around the various booths selling cycling products. Well, there were a couple of things I like but I did not buy. Maybe I shall go again tomorrow to check out. :)

After that we went to Ngee Ann City to change a bag but since there was nothing which my friend fancied, at the advice of the boutique staff, we headed to the DFS Singapore outlet, along Scotts Road, to check out the range there. She managed to find one item she likes but because of some miscommunications between both stores, we were told we cannot do the exchange.

We were quite disappointed and frustrated when told about it and having walked so far, my friend basically told the staff that the reason is unacceptable since we were informed that we can go to the DFS store to have the product exchanged. After making a few calls by the staff, the manager was able to strike a compromise and in the end, the item was changed. Praise God!

We had ramen for dinner and that was already around 9pm. I felt bad that my friend had to have her meal so late. Well, after that we headed home.

Thank God the evening ended well. :)

Okie, time to sleep. Good night, all!

God's Will Versus Mine

My legs are like jello now. In the evening, after coming home from work, I was deciding whether to cycle or not. One part of me just wanted to laze at home as I was mentally tired but the other side urged me to just change into my gears and ride on.

Well, I chose the latter as I needed to let off some steam after being bogged down by matters concerning work and home. There were also some personal thoughts running through my mind. It was a right choice because during the ride, I took the time to reflect and also spoke to God about these issues.

One personal issue I am praying about has to do with God's will versus mine. Many times I am drawn to follow my way but I know by doing so, that is disobedience. Though this concerns my future, I have to remind myself that I must not be rash in my decision. In short, I still want to glorify and honour God.

As I was praying about this, I just have this peace in my heart to just enjoy the moments. I guess I will do just that. :)

As I have stated in my FaceBook posting earlier today, I am thankful to God for my curriculum-planning team. They are a bunch of individuals who are full of initiative, enthusiasm and energy. I also forgot to mention that they are also very thoughtful.

As I was preparing to go back to teaching, I was asking God whether the team I would be working with will be a bunch of people whom I can get along... well, I guess the above-mentioned is an answered prayer. :)

Each day as I leave for work, though I know that there will be loads to conquer, I will leave my home with a smiling face. Haha. I know when my team members read this, their heads would be swelling with pride. :)

Anyway, I also took the time to pray for my family. Thank God so far everyone is well. I pray it would be so for the longest time ever because my brother and I need a break from all the shocks that the three old folks have given us.

Okie, I shall end here. Time to sleep. Looking forward to tomorrow as it is Friday! After work, I am joining my dear friend to the F1 Pit Building to collect our Cycle Pack. After that, we need to change something at Ngee Ann City.

Praise God for today and everyday.

Good night, all! :)

Clearing The Air

I have been working on a report since this morning. I just had my late lunch consisting of home-made ham and cheese sandwiches and orange juice. Nothing spectacular of a meal but sometimes simplicity is enough to satisfy one's stomach when hungry. :)

I just have a bit more to go for the report. After that I will head home and then decide whether I want to go for a ride. A dear friend told me that the central part of Singapore is pouring so I shall see whether the weather permits me to cycle later. I have not been cycling on a regular basis lately because of work and home matters. I hope soon I will be able to do so on a regular basis.

This morning I had to counsel someone regarding a misunderstanding he has with a friend. This particular individual was just trying to be a friend to another. He has always been there for her but lately she has been avoiding him.

He just only found out from another friend that the reason is due to the fact that this friend of his thinks that he is interested in her. My friend shared that he has no other ulterior motives other than just being there for his friends but I guess when it involves an individual of the opposite gender, there is bound to have misunderstandings like this.

I believe in this friend of mine and I told him that so long as his conscience is clear, one day the truth will speak for itself. I also told him to continue to do what he has been doing because that is him. He must not let this one incident stop him from showing genuine concern and care for another, be it of the same gender or another.

What saddens my heart is the assumption one makes without making an attempt to clear the air. A lot of times, misunderstandings can be resolved when both parties can just speak to each other about issues. This not only strengthens the relationship, it also builds trust.

I do not know whether someone else has warned my friend's friend that there could be other reasons than just him being a friend to her. Over the years, I have learnt that not all friends' advice or warning is correct. The sad part is when it is wrong, it creates unnecessary rift between the two parties involved. I always believe that there should be a dialogue between these two parties and that if their relationship is close enough, there should be this openness to share even awkward issues.

I have no issues having friends consulting other friends about matters involving me but one should accept advices with a pinch of salt and should there be any concerns, I would expect my friends to come and clear the air with me.

I am glad my friend is feeling better after pouring his heart out. I hope the issue would be resolved sooner than later. It is always a lousy feeling when such incident happens. Sigh.

Okie, I should stop here and carry on with my report. :)

"The LORD searches every heart and understands every desire and every thought." 1 Chronicles 28:9