Stigma Of Being A Single 2

On 24 June 2008, I blogged about the stigma of being a single. Three years now, it is still no different. In fact, it has become worse.

I decided to write on this again because a youth at the recent church camp was puzzled as to why I am not married since I am already so old. :)

I have just turned 39 and as always, when people wished me a happy birthday, they would ask me when am I going to get married and how come I still do not have a girlfriend and all.

I know most meant well when they asked but in the past three years since I blogged on this topic, I still hear of some hurtful comments made either directly from the persons who said them or from some friends who told me. I have no qualms sharing that some of these were made from friends whom I am close with - they probably think they know me well enough to make certain assumptions.

I still get people coming to me, telling me to be careful when I am in contact with someone of the opposite gender, who is much younger than me. I appreciate their concerns for that but there were incidents where others told me straight in the face that these ladies are too young for me and that I should not be too hopeful or be a cradle-snatcher since I am so much older than them. They even try to sympathise with me by making comments that ladies around my age are now hard to find because many are probably now married. They even asked how come I did not act faster when I was younger.

Why do people always have to draw conclusions like the above-mentioned? Does this mean a 39-year old single man cannot be in contact with women who are much younger just because he is giving others the impression that he is trying to court them as ladies of his age are now hard to come by?

I have a God-sister who is much younger than me and I get that all the time from people who blatantly told me that this brother-sister relationship is maybe a disguise and that if I am serious about her that I should tell her and not pretend to be god-siblings, etc.

Each time I get that kind of remarks, my heart just sank because it shows how superficial people can be and if I may add further, it is also an insult to me, as if I cannot think logically.

There are still comments made of my horizontally-challenged build and also doubts of my gender-preference.

On the latter, one comment was made that I should not be so desperate that since it is so difficult for me to find a nice lady that I am now considering a man to be my partner. This was said not just in my presence but in front of a few people. It may sound like a joke but I wish that person would have been more sensitive to my feelings.

A new remark was made last year about my health. Many would know that I had a kidney ailment a couple of years ago due to an injury sustained while playing rugby in the UK. Because of this I had to undergo dialysis treatment thrice weekly. The comment was that women probably prefer men who are healthy. Well, perhaps it is true.

I always tell people that I may be single but I am not desperate and it remains as it is today. Whether they choose to believe me, that I cannot control. I also cannot let people's assumptions of me make me stand on my toes all the time. Primarily I am accountable to God for my motive and action.

I am happy being a single. Should one day someone around my age (who is rare now) come by my way and we are able to share the same calling God has for us and we are able to click well, then thanks be to Him for that union! If not, life goes on for me.

Below was the blog I wrote three years ago.

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Stigma Of Being A Single

I experienced some pretty unpleasant encounters in the past few days. As the title of this blog states, it is the stigma of being single at the age of 36. Though this does not bother me much, I am still saddened by some who make assumptions which, at the end of the day, can be unfair to me. Hence the disappointment and sadness I feel in my heart.

One encounter has got to do with an impression some individuals have of me that I have ulterior motives when I am closed to someone of the opposite gender who is much younger than me. By this I meant the concern that I am actually going after a young individual, as in courtship. I am okay about the concern aspect but not to the point where conclusions are drawn when I did not have that kind of motives in the first place.

Anyway, I have concluded that if my conscience is clear then I should not be too bothered by this. If I begin to behave awkwardly, then it would show others that I am actually guilty. Hopefully time will show these persons that they have made wrong conclusions and assumptions.

The other encounter was truly an insensitive remark being made. I was asked whether I am a gay because I am still single at this age. The sad thing is this person actually knows me. When I heard that statement being made, I was hurt but so be it. Every one is entitled to their opinion of another and I cannot always defend what they think of me.

Then another remark was made in the subsequent conversation which did not help me either. Another individual commented that perhaps it could be due to my weight; that I should go on a diet so that girls will come after a slimmer Andy Chew. If that is the case, I would rather remain single for the rest of my life because I know superficiality will not bring two parties far.

Why are we so superficial? I use "we" because I am equally guilty of being insensitive and assuming at times.

Well, another interesting part of my pilgrim's journey. Anyway, it is not that I do not want to change my status from being single to married. I cannot, because of what others think of me, rush into a relationship which, if not handled properly, will cause two lives and a friendship to be broken. I would rather maintain the friendship than to break it just because I want to be accepted in society as a married individual; to succumb to peer pressure; to cheapen the love God has given and taught me just because the world has a warped idea of what love is.

I guess I have shared enough. May the Lord be my help in all things!

Time to sleep. I have to babysit Claire tomorrow though I have no clue yet as to the time and place of meet. I am looking forward to it and I pray we will all have fun together.

"Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD." Leviticus 19:18

Let Them Go

This morning I had very troubling dreams of some people whom I have burdens for. The dreams were so real and painful that when I woke up, my heart was very heavy. I acted on these dreams by first praying for these lives as I have no idea what else to do then.

Throughout the day those dreams were still in my mind. As I was pondering on them, sometimes I wonder whether my ministry to these individuals has any significance at all.

In my growing up years as a Christian, I have been taught to give without expecting anything in return but today I wonder it was worth it at all.

Perhaps it is the human side of me which is battling this thought but it is something real. I have been serving God for more than 20 years now. I have given a great significant of my time to the ministries I have been serving in and they all involve lives.

I have experienced a lot of joy serving the people around me but lately there seems to be more discouragement and pain. When I know of certain struggles they are going through, I pray for them. When I felt that there was a need to speak to them, I always ask God to speak through me.

What bothers me is that all these words of encouragements or sometimes rebukes seem to fall on deaf ears.

I have been asking God why this is so and these past few days, the words I have been receiving are "Let them go."

Maybe I should because after all I am a human trying my best to be there for the people I love but I can only go that far. Perhaps I need to let go of them and trust that God will minister to these lives more effectively.

There is a sense of uselessness that I am experiencing because it makes me wonder whether I am effective at all as a friend or brother to another. Sometimes I wish people can spare a thought for me too but I guess I should not be expecting that.

Well, this is one area of my life now as a Christian and a point in my journey that I am in doubt. Perhaps I should take a sabbatical in ministry and let God equip me again so that I can carry on in the next phase.

Not a good day I have but a needed one for me to reflect and evaluate.

"Listen to my words, LORD, consider my lament. Hear my cry for help, my King and my God, for to you I pray. In the morning, LORD, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly." Psalm 5:1-3

Be Grateful When Kindness Is Shown

I felt I needed to write this after what I saw in the train when I was on my way home from running some errands just now.

From where I was, there were two vacant seats in front of me. When it came to the next train station, three youths, probably from a polytechnic, rushed in and managed to grab the seats. A lady next to them decided to give up her seat for the third youth and she found another along the same row where I was.

The three individuals first caught my attention because one of them rushed into the train as if the end of the world is near and he needed to sit down to catch his breath. I left it as it was after that and went on to browse the Facebook on my iPhone.

What irked me was all the remarks that same youth made to his two friends and it was loud enough for all to hear. First it was about the lady - he said stuff like, "Hiyah! Since she gave you the seat, just take and don't care about her." "She probably felt guilty that you do not have a seat, that is why she is giving it up." He was also using a lot of expletives!

I was so annoyed that I stared towards their direction. Initially they did not notice me. Then a friend of that youth noticed me and alerted him. Again he remarked loudly, "Whenever someone stares at me, I will stare him back!" He was laughing when he said those words.

That was the last straw for me. I stood up, went to him and gave him a piece of my mind. I basically told him he should be thankful that someone has kindly given her seat up for his friend. I also told him to keep all the comments to himself. As I wanted him to feel how the lady would have felt should she have heard his remarks, I told him off that by talking big, it does not show how tough he is but his ignorance and arrogance.

That youth kept quiet but his friend tried to speak up for him. I told that friend I was not referring to him and he kept quiet after that.

I was trying to exercise self-control when I heard those comments made. I even prayed for that youth but when he went overboard, I felt that I needed to rebuke him.

I have seen a lot of these situations and I felt that youths of today have become very insensitive and arrogant as if the whole world owes them something. I am also very troubled by the colourful words which they have been using and sad to say, this is happening in the youths of the churches as well.

I want to blog this to remind myself and all who are reading this to be grateful when kindness is shown to us. The other thing is to mind one's language especially for those of us who are Christians. You cannot use the same tongue for praising God and also mouthing expletives. It may be the norm today but let us not be conformed to the patterns of the world but be transformed by the renewing of our minds.

It takes courage for one to live his life the way Christ wants him to. To follow the ways of the world does not speak much of oneself except of his timidity and cowardice. If we call ourselves Christians, then let us live like one and courageously!

"Those who are kind benefit themselves, but the cruel bring ruin on themselves." Proverbs 11:17

"With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be." James 3:9-10

Making My Calling And Election Sure

This is my first blog for 2011. It is already Day 4 of the new year, of the new decade. I just finished spending time with God and today I read a passage from 2 Peter 1:3-11. It is basically to challenge the readers to make their calling and election sure - to know who they are!

Do I know who I am? If it is a textbook answer - yes! I am a child of God! Am I living as a child of God? That is where I falter and this is where I want to also improve on.

My walk with the Lord has not been superbly great as I have been struggling with a bit of burning out especially from the home front and also in my service as a chairperson in the Missions Committee.

It is tough dealing with matters at home especially lately. Grandma has been throwing her tantrums and having her mood swings. When she is affected, it gets on to my mum and then my dad and then my brother and of course, Andy Chew! It is tiring physically, emotionally and mentally. It does not help that sometimes the three old folks do not appreciate what my brother and I are trying to do for them.

As for ministry in church, whatever that is happening at home is taking a toll on what I am doing in church. This is not an excuse but a fact. I am sometimes so tired that I have no other strength to deal with the matters pertaining to the ministry I have been put in charge of.

Already at this start of the year, I have to look into a few matters which are urgent and I am praying the Lord will help me through this.

I guess so far in the few journal entries I have made in this blogspot, the attention has always been home, church and me but never on God. I guess by knowing that I am a child of God that I need to turn my attention to Him who is the source of power which I need for life and godliness.

I need to get my act right and I am starting by communing with my Lord and Saviour on a daily basis. Prayerfully from there, I will add to my faith goodness, and to goodness knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love!

I pray by practicing this attributes, they will keep me from being ineffective and unproductive in the knowledge of my Lord Jesus Christ.

Well, praise the Lord for this timely reminder.

There will be great adventures ahead. I pray that when it reaches the last day of 2011 that I have nothing else to say except to praise God for helping me grow deeper in Him, by loving the people around me, and of course by sharing His love to those who have yet to know Him, if they so choose to.

"His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature, having escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires. For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But whoever does not have them is nearsighted and blind, forgetting that they have been cleansed from their past sins. There, my brothers and sisters, make every effort to confirm your calling and election. For if you do these things, you will never stumble, and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ." 2 Peter 1:3-11

A Mysterious 2011 Ahead

I am supposed to be at the Watchnight Service as I would usually do on the eve of the new year. This year I have decided to do something different - I'm staying home to do some reflection and to rest.

It may sound boring but on the contrary, I am actually enjoying this quiet time with the Lord - away from the crowd, from all the counting down, from shaking hands with people around and wishing them "Happy New Year!", from staying up late with friends, etc.

The above-mentioned are not wrong - just something I want to break away from, at least for once in my life. :)

A new year dawning. Another year and decade have passed! Sometimes I feel I am trying to catch up with time because it is just flying by so fast. One thing I have decided to do in 2011 is to slow down and spare a thought for myself.

This does not mean I do not care about others - it is just that I need to consider my well-being. The whole of 2010 has been about my parents who had their stroke in the early part of the year, grandma who has been giving the family a lot of inconvenience due to her dementia, and also the ministries I am serving in church - I was planning to release one of my responsibilities but had to stay on for another year because there was no one to fill the empty position.

Yes, all of the above-mentioned are important in my life and I love them all but I need to watch out for myself too. I have to remind myself that I am a human though I am a Christian.

I also need to remind myself that though I am concerned for my parents, grandma and the ministries in church, ultimately it is God who will heal and protect, lead and guide! I simply need to just trust. This year I have been trying to handle all these areas with my own strength.

The other area has got to do with what I want to do next as in my career. I resigned this year from teaching thinking that I could go into full-time ministry - one consideration was to be a missionary. This had to be shelved because of the health issues of the three old folks at home.

I am not disappointed that I could not go ahead with my plan but it is more as to where I should go from here. I cannot remain unemployed for a prolonged period.

One lesson from this is that God has His timing. I guess I just need to let Him make all things beautiful in His time and not mine.

It is going to be an exciting but mysterious 2011 but I shall go through it anyway with Christ above every area of my life. I am also not going to run ahead of Him.

Time to stop here for now! A God-Blessed New Year, everyone!!! :)

“This is what the LORD says— he who made a way through the sea, a path through the mighty waters, “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” Isaiah 43:16, 18-19

Know the GIFT this Christmas!

This may sound weird but I almost could not remember my user name and password to this blogspot. Well, this shows how long I have been absent from blogging and my apologies to those who have faithfully been reading my entries.

As much as I do not want this to happen but the past few months have not been well for me: I have been overwhelmed by the numerous situations which are happening at home - mainly having to deal with grandma who is suffering from dementia and also ensuring that my parents' health are in check; having to deal with the pressing matters concerning the ministries I am serving in church - mainly the missions ministry; I have also been down several times in terms of my health - always catching a cold, etc.

I am not saying that I am any better now. In fact it has reached a stage a few weeks back where I had to ask a few co-workers to pray for me as I was burning out. I just feel very choked up by almost everyone and everything crying out for attention.

Well, the thing about my current situation is that not many people know I am struggling with burning out. As much as I can I do not want to show it for the main reason that I just do not wish to burden others. I know that is wrong hence that day when I had to ask a few people to pray for the current status I am in.

Anyway, I am blogging today because it is the eve of Christmas. It has not been a particular good day for me - just had to deal with grandma who has been calling some relatives up to say that she wants to die and that every one in the family is going against her, etc; before that I had to go back to Vivocity to exchange the 25 photo-frames which I bought in the afternoon as the size was wrong; I was also feeling frustrated during shopping as I do not know what gifts to get for some siblings-in-Christ.

Two questions suddenly popped in my mind - is that what commemorating Christmas is about? What really is the meaning of Christmas?

The simple answer to the second question is this - it is about the birth of the Christ-child. With that leads to the answer of the first question - to commemorate Christmas is simply be still and know that He is God. Not the hustle and bustle that the world has made Christmas to be.

Some might say, "Oh, that would make Christmas so boring and dull." It may be true in the worldly sense but Christmas is about Christ being sent to earth so that He can eventually bring redemption to man's sin by His death on the cross!

If that does not set in my heart and mind, then I have lost the meaning of Christmas. That is probably the reason why I have been so frustrated today! That is also probably the reason why I am in my current burnt-out state because I have lost the whole crux of my relationship with God and also the purpose of my service to Him and His people.

If I am serving simply because I need to get the work over and done with then that is not service at all. I need to treat everything I do as a form of worship to God so that His name will be proclaimed - that the Body of Christ be edified and that those who have yet to know Christ will know Him by the way I live my life and the attitude I have in serving Him and His people.

This fundamental aspect of my walk needs to be there - I have lost it, I confess, but I am trusting God to bring that back so that I can begin to surrender 100% of my life to Him again. When that happens, I can live in peace and leave the worries of my family and ministries completely to my God Almighty.

Christmas isn't Christmas till it happens in my heart. How about yours?

Let us pray that we will hold on to this as we celebrate Jesus' birthday - giving of gifts is secondary; knowing the GIFT is primary!

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13

God Will Make A Way

Before I write on further, I have a confession to make. Just now while at the peak of trying to deal with a conflict between my parents and grandma, I wish they would all die sooner than later. Sorry that you have to read this but it was really my desire then as that would probably solve all of their old-age problems.

Grandma, who is suffering from dementia, has been accusing every one at home for stealing her things when in actual fact, she has been misplacing her things all over her room. Just now, she blamed mum for taking her things and instead of understanding grandma's psychological condition, mum bore a grudge against her.

Initially I kept my cool but when both parties started ding-donging at each other without trying to find a solution to the situation, I had to say my piece.

I basically told them that having grievances against each other will not ever solve a problem. I told mum that she knowing full well that grandma was merely forgetful should not make matters worse by trying to defend herself by shouting back at her. Instead do the most sensible thing by helping her locate the missing items.

I volunteered to do so as I was very confident the items could be found and in a matter of fifteen minutes ravaging through grandma's stuff, I found a stack of money and her jeweleries. I showed them to every one and told them that things can be solved peacefully if pride is not in the way.

Dad just had a fall. Sigh. While solving the conflicts between mum and grandma, I forgot to lay the hose of the washing machine to the toilet while doing laundry. Water was all over the kitchen. Dad slipped while entering it. He said he is okay except for a slight sore on his left hip area. I am praying he will be alright. I shall monitor his condition tomorrow.

I am just so stressed up with things at home. Sometimes I wonder why such situations must happen in my family though I know I am not the only one in the world who is facing struggles. Every one is.

I basically need to surrender every one at home and all the burdens I have to God because He is the only One who can "make a way when there seems to be no way. He works in ways we cannot see. He will make a way. He will make a way." I shall take comfort in the lyrics of this song, "God Will Make A Way."

I shall stop now and spend some time being still before the Lord: seeking His forgiveness for the confession I made in the first paragraph; surrendering my troubles to Him.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

Excuse Me, Are You A Christian?

It has been a long and tiring day for me but fruitful though.

This morning it was raining very heavily and I needed to be in church early to set up the booth for the "Each One Give One" Bible Donation Drive. This is part of the church's effort to bless others what God has blessed us with as we prepare for the church's anniversary celebration. I planned to arrive at church by 8.15am and I left my home at 7.30am hoping to catch a cab.

Twenty minutes later there was no sign of any taxis. Usually I would get frustrated but instead of reacting that way, I prayed. I asked God to give me two cabs - one for me and the other for this elderly lady who was carrying a toddler. After that I carried on waiting.

Suddenly a white car stopped right in front of me and in it I saw this couple and two children waving at me. I looked again and I realised it was this family from my church. They asked whether I was heading for church and after acknowledging that, I got a lift from them.

It was amazing as this couple usually do not come by my estate but because of the rain they had to drop their son off in school for an archery lesson.

Well, I asked God for a cab and He gave me a private car driven by my fellow siblings-in-Christ. All praise and thanks to Him! I hope the elderly lady and the toddler did not have to wait too long for a taxi.

Today is the last day of the Bible donation drive. Five weeks ago, the Missions Committee I am chairing hoped to raise at least 1,000 Bibles for the Khmer-Christians who are not able to afford a Bible as it is too expensive. Then the Assistant Pastor challenged the Committee to raise 5,400 Bibles instead since it is the church's 54th Anniversary. When I was given that figure I was not too optimistic but went on with the drive.

Five weeks now, the Lord has shown the Committee and I how great He is! The church as a whole raised a total of 5,796 Bibles with another 600 more coming from another group of siblings-in-Christ who have yet to send in the cheque. That will then give us a grand total of 6,396 Bibles!!!

Wow! God is indeed good and His love endures forever!!!

After the drive, I needed to conduct a missions training session for the Youth Ministry's Mission Team. I was sharing with them the history of missions in the Methodist Church and in our local church.

I remembered sharing with my younger siblings-in-Christ the need for us to be missionaries wherever God placed us in - home, school, work, anywhere basically. I told them it is not enough to call ourselves Christians... we should also live it out so that others can see Christ in us and they will be drawn to His saving grace.

Well, one incident in the evening when I was having desserts with some closed friends put that point I mentioned above to the test.

We were in Swensen's and we decided to order the Giant Earthquake where it consisted of 8 scoops of ice-creams. We gave this waitress who attended to us the 8 flavours. When she repeated our orders she got some flavours wrong. So we repeated the whole list again and when she read out the order, it was wrong again.

That was when some of us, including myself got a little impatient. I decided to write for her all the flavours we wanted. After that she went to have them prepared.

Then came the Giant Earthquake and immediately when it was placed on the table we noticed that some flavours were not right. One of my friends went to see the manager and verified the order with her.

Obviously the waitress was affected when she saw what was going on. My friend came back and he told the rest of us that the lady who attended to us was actually intellectually handicapped as explained to him by the manager. She was employed as part of this programme to help them integrate better in society and also to earn a living for themselves. When I heard that, I felt really sad that I had reacted negatively to the whole situation.

We could also see the lady sobbing when she was clearing some plates. That made me feel really lousy. If I had been more conscious of my behaviour and my role as a Christian then I would have shown more grace. What happened if the complaint we made could have cost the waitress her job and the ability to support her family?

Anyway, I felt led to write the waitress a note on behalf of the group basically to encourage her. I asked the manager to pass the slip of paper to her on our behalf.

What a rebuke it was! Well, a good wake-up call basically for me.

May God have mercy on me.

I shall stop here. A lot to reflect this week.

"Do to others as you would have them do to you." Luke 6:31

Love Is The Solution

Today is one of those mornings when I was anticipating a great day ahead but it turned out to be totally the opposite. Sigh.

When I left my bed for the kitchen, mum told me that grandma is throwing her tantrums again and that the latter is accusing the former for not giving her her monthly allowance again. As usual when such incidents happened, one would rake up the past and then all the grudges would surface again. It could have been resolved easily if one gives way but for my family's case, it was not to be. One must win the other to be satisfied.

I tried to find out from grandma what happened but she kept quiet. I decided to leave her alone as it was no point forcing her to say anything. I advised her to keep her cool and reminded her that all these while, she has been receiving her allowances as they are all in this little box which I gave her so that she knows where she keeps her money.

The situation was made worse when my brother intervened. He started raising his voice at every one. I do not blame him for being angry when he witnesses such incidents because this has been going on for as long as we were born into the family. He and I are very fed-up with this constant bickering.

Anyway, this led to both of us losing our cool and we ended up quarreling with each other.

I am not ashamed to share that out of the five of us in the family, four are Christians. My brother is not. As much as it is perceived that Christians should be able to handle the above situation with a cool head, sometimes it is not to be because Christians are humans too.

As humans, we are all fallen nature hence this is still happening in my family. I am not using this as an excuse but what I want to share next is my prayer for the family (including myself) and it is something I trust that God will teach my family and I - to learn to love as He loves; to forgive as He forgives; and to surrender the past hurts and let God heal us in the present. Unless this can be practised, the problem will persist. Unless we love one another as God loves us, we still do not know God fully. I have to admit it is tough for me to practice even but I will keep pressing on.

I am now in church as I needed to get out of the house to catch a breather. I had wanted to stay home initially to spend time with my family but in this current situation, giving each other space to breathe is a better option.

Though the above-mentioned has dampened my day, I pray that I will remain focused and carry on with what I need to do for today. God be my help.

"Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us. We know that we live in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother." 1 John 4:7-21

Great Commission Christians

Since Tuesday I have been sniffing and blowing my nose till it feels like dropping off again... well, I used "again" because I have been down three times in a span of one month and that is no joke. I do not know why my immune system is so low lately. I am praying this will be the last time I fall sick as in the months ahead I have a lot of things to deal with.

Anyway, praise the Lord for the rest I had though I have a couple of things to handle the past few days and awaiting a busy weekend ahead.

Though it would be hectic, I am looking forward to them all - tomorrow I have to attend the Worship Team rehearsal as I am playing the drums after taking a break for a real long time. I have decided to commit to this once a month; Saturday morning I have to prepare for the NDP rehearsal; then I will excuse myself in the afternoon to head for church to attend the "A Day of Prayer for Missions" organised by the Missions Committee on a quarterly basis; after that it is back to The Padang for the National Education Show.

Sunday morning it would be the continuation for the "Each One Give One" Bible Donation Drive (two more weeks!) where the Missions Committee is encouraging the church to donate Khmer Bibles to the Khmer-Christians who cannot afford to buy one as their monthly income are just so low. This is part of the Church's Anniversary Celebration where we want to bless others what God has blest us with especially in paying up all the debts for the Redevelopment Project. It is also part of the Missions Committee's objective in discipling this "unreached people group" we have adopted.

Next will be playing the drums at the 11.15am service and in the afternoon I have to facilitate the missions training for the Youth Ministry's Mission Team who will be going to Cambodia in December.

Well, typing the above three paragraphs is already breathless for me but I am trusting God who is my strength to pull me through them all. I know I am going to enjoy every moment of the events listed. :)

Oh yah, this Sunday is Missions Emphasis Sunday. On Tuesday I was in church compiling, printing and collating the Missions Ministry's Prayer Booklets - all 650 of them. One church staff asked me whether it was worth the effort doing all these. I understood the angle she was coming from as we all know not all will even flip through the first page of the booklet and many will leave them on the pews and chairs after the services but I told my dear sister-in-Christ this - so long as one person flips through the pages and prays for the items listed, all thanks and praise to God because those needs are covered and will be answered in the name of Jesus!!! That is worth all the effort!!! :)

It is just so important for Christians to intercede for the work of missions overseas and locally especially for those who have answered God's call to be missionaries in a land where they are totally new to. I wonder how many Christians back here in Singapore would understand the struggles and loneliness these servants of God are and how much they need to be covered in prayers.

Well, not all may be in the mission fields overseas but every one can play a part for missions at least in doing one thing - going down on our knees and cry for the mercy and grace of God to be upon the missionaries and the many lives still lost. Who knows? That may just be a spark to encourage more to go and make disciples of all nations and cause millions of hearts to turn to God and to be politically correct, without being forced to accept Jesus as their Lord and Saviour but out from their own free will!

Missions is also right at our door-steps especially in Singapore where there are so many foreign workers employed in all sectors of the economy. If every one (Christian) can reach one, many will go back to their own homelands and share the love of Christ to their loved ones and countrymen.

It is not an easy task but the God I worship is an Almighty God and He can do things which are impossible. All we need is to avail ourselves and He will do the rest. :)

Okie, I have said enough. Time for me to go blow my nose AGAIN and then rest!!!

Have a great weekend ahead!!! ;)

"And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints." Ephesians 6:18

World Crap

I am thankful that the World Cup is over - not that I have watched every match hence having a soccer hangover now. In fact it is the opposite - I am proud to say and surprise myself that I did not watch a single match at all. Amazing for a soccer fanatic like me!

The first reason is my decision to boycott the World Cup totally. I find it absurd for two telcos (you know who they are) to fight over the rights of broadcasting the matches that they actually tried out-bidding each other not by the thousands of dollars but millions. Then came FIFA who exploited the whole situation and charged the telcos exorbitant fees.

Well, in the end the two ignorant and childish telcos realised that it was stupid to compete against each other and ended up joining forces to telecast the matches which by then the fees had sky-rocketed!

The chairman of one of the telcos even had the cheek to tell would-be subscribers that it would only cost $1 a match when it could have been much lower if they had thought of doing a joint-venture in the first place. If he made it sound so affordable then provide the service for free! Talk is easy but it showed how foolish they have been.

Next was something I felt very sad, burdened and angry. Instead of watching soccer matches as they are - a game - there were Christians (some who are children of church leaders) who actually succumbed to temptations and placed bets on almost every match. When some lost, they started cursing and swearing, not in private but in public like on Facebook, etc. Do they not feel ashamed especially in front of those who know they are Christians? Where have the months or years of Christian Education in their lives gone to? Writing this reminds me now of a sibling-in-Christ who is in debt because this individual bet more than he/she could afford.

For those who are reading this blog, are you one of the above-mentioned? If you are, please evaluate your actions and testimonies.

The most outrageous of the World Cup saga was placing trust in animals which are of lower being than humans to predict each match winner - one is an octopus named Paul (man, the Apostle Paul must have turned over in his grave for this) and the other was a parrot called Mani. Sigh. Some worshiped them like idols while others want to kill and cook them because the predictions were not likings to their ears and pockets.

It may sound hilarious as one looks back now but it also shows how fallen man is.

World Cup? Nah. World Crap? Yah!

"No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. "Make level paths for your feet," so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed." Hebrews 12:11-13

God Reigns In My Trials

I was running some errands this afternoon when I received a call from my brother that grandma had a fall in the kitchen. He suspected that her left toes may have been broken or dislocated and her hips affected.

I rushed back home and with the help of my cousin, we drove grandma to the Accident & Emergency Department of Tan Tock Seng Hospital. As usual, there was a long wait for her to be examined and have the X-rays taken.

While waiting, I sent out short messages to some siblings-in-Christ to inform them of the accident and asked them to intercede for grandma.

The X-rays showed a hairline crack on grandma's left toe and hip but I was glad that they were not serious enough for her to be admitted. After collecting the medication, we headed home.

I am thankful that grandma was not seriously injured but her mobility will be a problem for at least the next one month or so. She was told to rest as much as possible and has to use a walking stick should she need to go to the toilet.

I am praying for God to have mercy upon my parents and grandma - in the past one year, their health have taken a turn for the worse with both my parents having a stroke, then with grandma being diagnosed with dementia and now her fall.

I also prayed for God to be gracious to my brother and I as we have been quite drained physically, mentally and emotionally taking care of their needs.

I have been unwell myself for the past three weeks - downed with some viral infection which gave me high fever, flu, cough, headache and sore throat; I had food poisoning this week which brought back the fever. My cough is still persisting and once in a while I keep having this pounding headaches.

If I have to say all these happened at a wrong timing, it is really so. The Missions Committee which I am chairing is working on a relocation project for a church we adopted in Cambodia. Two weeks ago I was supposed to have a meeting with the Committee members but I fell sick badly. It had to be postponed to the following week.

I am supposed to present the project to the church leadership tomorrow and now I do not know whether I can even attend the meeting as I have to make sure things at home are in order first.

On Wednesday I was to meet my Pastor and two Committee members to do the powerpoint slides for the presentation and the day before I was down with food poisoning.

In the afternoon I was informed by a brother-in-Christ that one of my Missions Committee members' sister passed away suddenly on Tuesday due to a serious asthma attack.

I am not trying to link everything to spiritual warfare but I cannot discount the fact that we are engaged in one. As much as I am quite discouraged with all that had happened, I am still fixing my eyes on my God Almighty as I know He will not fail me by leaving me in a lurch. Sometimes I cannot fathom why He allowed certain trials to happen but I will respect His will and trust that they happen for a reason.

I have not been blogging since the beginning of last month as I am simply tired. I have never felt so tired in my life before. I also cannot deny that I have not kept my temper in check lately, especially at home and towards those whom I am closer with. I pray I will continue to press on and find joy in the Lord who will be my strength.

If some of you think that I have decided to stop blogging totally... well, I am not. To those who have affirmed me that you have been blest reading my blogs, a big thank you to you. All praise to God for allowing me to share His goodness through this medium. I will press on but bear with me that I may not be able to blog as oft as I would love to as my human strength is limited.

I am tired now. I shall try to get some rest soon.

The Lord bless and keep you all.

"I can do everything through him who gives me strength." Philippians 4:13

Conversation Seasoned With Grace

Yesterday I took a cab home. The driver asked me to guide him as he is new and was not sure which route to take and all. That sparked a conversation between us.

I basically asked where he stayed and he mentioned Serangoon North. As my church is near his estate, I asked further whether his block is near one where my church is involved in a community project running a computer centre. He said his was situated directly opposite the centre.

It was here when I mentioned my church that he shared with me his recent imprisonment of 6 months. He was convicted of a crime for the failure in checking the work permit of an employee in the coffee shop he was running. He told me while serving his term he took the time to read the Bible though he was a free-thinker. I still do not know whether he is one as I did not get the chance to ask further. I also did not want to do so earlier in our conversation as I did not want him to misunderstand that I was trying to convert him.

He went on to say that once in a while he attends services at a church located in the western part of Singapore. He said he likes to go there listening to the testimonies of Christians but remarked that it is a little far from where he stays.

He also testified how God has helped him especially after he was released. Before he was sentenced, he had no clue whatsoever in cooking and he prayed for God to give him this skill as he needed it for his coffee shop business. He tried his hands on cooking and apparently he did well as people love his food especially his fried bee hoon.

Sadly he gave up his coffee shop business which I could not recall the reason for doing so.

Anyway, he went on to apply for a taxi license and it was only recently that he passed the examinations.

Well, before I alighted I gave this gentleman my contact number and also the details of my church services. I also told him I will pray for him as he was feeling a little unwell. After returning my change, we went on our separate ways.

Ten minutes after I arrived home, I received a call and it was the taxi driver. He told me that he did not give me the correct change. He basically short-changed me by S$2.00. I told him it was okay and he said he will return the money the next time we meet. I hope by saying that it would be at the church service this Sunday.

It was a wonderful ride home being able to share with someone more about Christ.

I pray he is better now.

This encounter reminded me once again to make full use of any opportunities to share Christ with those who are interested to know more. :)

"Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone." Colossians 4:5-6

Servants Of God - Glorify God And Not Self!

I just finished ironing over 30 pieces of clothes though I was tired when I came home. Since I would have to iron them eventually, I might as well do them now.

I know I have not been blogging regularly as much as I would love to but for today I feel compelled to do so as I was troubled by a service I attended at a certain church in the east which I shall not name. I was invited by a friend as her church had a guest speaker from Chicago, USA.

Right from the start of the service I was already feeling uncomfortable though prior to that I was actually all excited to worship God through praise, listening to His Word and of course fellowship with a group of new siblings-in-Christ.

The words of one of the songs during the praise session were questionable as the worship leader kept repeating this phrase, "Jesus, lift me higher" I felt that when we are offering praise to God that Jesus should be the One being lifted higher and not us. I decided not to sing it as the words did not make sense at all.

Next is the volume in the hall which was so loud that it became more irritable than edifying. Some may dispute that maybe older people like me may not be used to such high volume but on my left, there was this group of youths who also commented the same thing.

I also feel that nowadays certain denominations of churches are creating too much hype in the stage settings... and it is already very sad that the word "stage" (mentioned by the senior pastor) is being used because that denotes a performance rather than a platform where people are drawn into the presence of God. "Chancel" would have been a better word.

Anyway, back to the topic of hype, I feel that wasted finances are channelled to buying too many hi-tech equipment - on the "stage" there were like 6 huge LCD televisions, three big projection screens, a camera mounted on a boom which was super distracting as it kept going up and down when the worship session was on, colourful lights flashing here and there as if it was a disco floor. There was also this video person who was constantly walking across the "stage" featuring each musician who was playing and the sad part was that every one of them was placed on a raised platform as if they were the main focus of the worship... to a certain extent, it felt as if it was. Why did I say that? When the camera was not featuring them they were basically motionless as they played but when the video-person came to them, they started to show off their moves by twisting and turning. Hmmm...

Yes, this service was mainly for the youths but we just need to be careful that worship is not about letting our emotions get the better of us but to simply go back to the heart of worship which is none other than focusing on God Himself. We need not have to feature musicians etc on screen because then that would kind of give the glory to them. Appreciating them for their service is different from featuring them so prominently when God should have been the One in focus.

Then came the speaker. I was all ready to listen to the Word being preached but it was not to be - he started making some advertisements about his products and that went on for a good 10 minutes.

After that commercial break, he went on to thanking the church for making him more well-known by setting up a facebook account about him and how he felt flattered etc. Man! I just wanted to tell him to just move on instead of trying to glorify himself on "stage."

Finally his "sermon" but throughout there were more questions in me than being edified by the Word. He was preaching on bringing the future to the present and how that would make Christians more victorious etc. It is okay to trust God for our future because He is all-knowing but it is different when the whole message he was giving sounded as if we are telling God what we want our future to be like and that He must jolly-well bless our desires. It is no doubt we can ask God for anything in His name but there is also the element of having to be in accordance to His will.

Then he was telling the congregation that they can tell God what they would like to be - millionaires, beauty pageant winner, CEOs, President of the country... basically all the glorified positions one could think of but is that what life is about? It felt really wrong when he kept repeating these positions over and over and over again. Then what happens to the less glorified jobs that the world has labelled them to be which are also available in this world like being roadsweepers, cleaners, janitors, etc... are these jobs not also blessed by God?

How about being called into full-time ministry or for that matter not being able to obtain that position we want, does that mean God is not blessing us? I just feel it is dangerous to give people empty promises as it would stumble them.

What made me really mad was when the preacher used God's name in vain... a couple of times he used phrases like "Oh my God!" and "My God!" Hey, as a supposedly renowned speaker, he should be careful in using these phrases so loosely. Sigh.

Then he was preaching about Jacob and how he fell in love with Rachel but in the end he was cheated into marrying Leah, Rachel's sister. That was okay till he mentioned this point where Jacob was disgusted about Leah being fat.

How can you put fat people down in your sermon when God has created every one in His image and that none should be discriminated against? It was really sad. I was telling my sister this - if it was not for my friend's invite, I would have left the service long time ago!

Oh yah, I forgot to mention that throughout his sermon, secular songs were played in the background to enhance the atmosphere of his message which I felt was using this medium to play the minds and emotions of the congregation.

I had to fill up a guest's card at the end of the service and I was told to rate the service... is it that important?! I rated it as 4 out of 10 and I also remarked in the card that I would want to speak to the pastor on the above-mentioned.

One positive point I must say about this church is that the connection from entering the church to leaving it was great... the greeters, ushers and even the congregation made newcomers like me very welcomed. This observation I would take it back to my own church and see how we can work on that to bring every individual into the presence of God and making them comfortable.

Anyway, after that I had dinner with my sister and two other friends at Toa Payoh and had a good time of catching up with them.

Okay, I am tired and have spoken enough.

Good night, world! :)

Down But Not Out

It feels weird to blog again after taking a break from it. I decided to stop for a while because I just did not feel like doing so but today I shall jot some thoughts down.

Nothing new in my life except certain routines of having to take care of matters at home and also ministries in church. Sad to say, all these have become a "they-are-my-responsibilities-so-I-have-to-do-them" mentality.

I am trying to break from this - slowly I am but it is not enough. I am basically tired in all sense of the word. It is also affecting me spiritually but I am praying that I will not let all these draw me away from God.

On Friday while I was doing a macro-photography session with my sister, I was reminded of how great God is by the little things I came across - the caterpillars which will one day become butterflies, mosquitoes, dragon-flies, lady-birds, flowers, etc.

They all seem to be so care-free - their needs being met every day by the providence of the One who made them. In each shot I took I am constantly assured that this same God will also meet my needs and help me through the adventures of life no matter how mundane it can be sometimes.I have to confess that though I am sure of God's provision and presence, it is difficult to comprehend them when faced with adversities.

Today has not been a pretty good day for me as I feel very oppressed - my chest felt tight, my head pounding, my legs very cramped up. Maybe I am anxious about many things and not putting my full trust in God for the worries I have. I can remember those times when I was able to leave these concerns on the throne of God and I could feel my shoulders being lifted from the burdens. I pray I will be able to do that again soon.

It did not help that I was burdened by a few things this afternoon - mum is not well as lately she has been feeling light-headed. Sometimes her glucose level goes too low and she would feel a little giddy. I took her blood pressure and they were lower than the normal readings. I spoke to a doctor-friend and she advised me to monitor mum's condition.

I was also troubled by my tendencies to over-care for people that I become very affected by them. Sometimes I wish I will just not care for a while but I know I cannot do that. It does not help when this care shown has been mis-read at times and it can be discouraging.

Anyway, the fact that I am blogging again is a good start to share about my life's journey - both the good and the not-so-good experiences.

“The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.” Zephaniah 3:17

Tactful I Am Not

I did the weirdest thing just a while ago. I went for a walk with my doggy at around 3am. I was unable to sleep no matter how I tried as I was very burdened over someone I love dearly.

Sometimes I just wish I do not have this discerning side of me where I could sense something amiss about someone and after sharing with that person, it turned out to sound like I have judged the individual or seemed to try to control him or her.

It is a super lousy feeling. As I was talking with the Lord during the stroll, I told Him how troubled I was; how inadequate I felt. I confessed to God that my human ability could only bring me that far and that now I could only surrender this person to Him and let Him take over from there.

There were times I wish I could have made myself clearer when I try to communicate certain issues with someone. Well, it still remains a wish because I have not made that person any better but worse it seems.

Anyway, maybe I should just keep things to myself and just pray for the people I am burdened for and leave it as that. Probably God could speak to them better in His own ways. Who am I to do that when I am just only a fellow human being?

I hope the Lord will lift my spirit up later when I worship Him in church.

Well, this morning's experience is just one of those things I hate to encounter in my pilgrim's journey. Perhaps it is a lesson for me to learn.

He Is Risen!

The Liverpool match is on but I am more drawn to blog some of my thoughts down than to watch the Reds play against Birmingham City. Hopefully when I am done, I will still be able to catch the last few minutes of the game.

Today is Easter Sunday - a day to mark the resurrection of Jesus who died on the cross for the sins of mankind on Good Friday. It is amazing to see two very significant phenomena here: one the miraculous rising from the dead of Jesus; and the other an individual who is willing to die for others.

I do not know about you but just these two points show how great Jesus is - to rise from the dead is no ordinary feat and it definitely has to do with some super-natural intervention in order for this to happen. I am not going to dwell on that though but more so to remind myself that the God whom I worship is not dead but alive! That the God whom I embrace as my Lord and Saviour loves me and all in the world that He is willing to die for their wrongs so that fellowship between man and Him can be restored.

I was listening to the sermon this morning and one thing I took home with me was this - God made everything right in my life. Even though I may sin occasionally, He still sees the right in me and not the wrongs... hence His forgiveness is always there when I confess my sins and repent from them. Taking that one step further, for a person who is willing to die for a sinful person like me, if I am not touched by that, I do not know what else would. I cannot deny that I am deeply grateful hence I do not wish to keep crucifying this Jesus by continuing with my wayward lifestyle and pray that He will help me live a life of righteousness! That I am alive in Him and dead to sin! That others will see Christ in me and be drawn to know who He really is!

I can also confidently tell the devil who always meddles with the minds of Christians that I am no more a slave to sins but liberated by the blood of Jesus! That I need not dwell on my sins anymore but more so to work towards a life of godliness and holiness in the remaining days of my pilgrim's journey.

There is no doubt it would be tough because as a Christian, I am also still a human but the difference is that God will be there to walk me through this adventure. When I reach the finish line, may He be pleased with my life.

I wrote this phrase on my Facebook account last night...

"Andy Chew and the world are alive today because of the One who died on Good Friday. Andy Chew rejoices every day because of the One who rises on Good Friday. Hope remains because of the One who lives, for in the tomb there are no remains."

Indeed I can continue to hope because of Jesus, my risen Saviour.

Happy Easter!

“In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace” Ephesians 1:7