It feels weird to blog again after taking a break from it. I decided to stop for a while because I just did not feel like doing so but today I shall jot some thoughts down.
Nothing new in my life except certain routines of having to take care of matters at home and also ministries in church. Sad to say, all these have become a "they-are-my-responsibilities-so-I-have-to-do-them" mentality.
I am trying to break from this - slowly I am but it is not enough. I am basically tired in all sense of the word. It is also affecting me spiritually but I am praying that I will not let all these draw me away from God.
On Friday while I was doing a macro-photography session with my sister, I was reminded of how great God is by the little things I came across - the caterpillars which will one day become butterflies, mosquitoes, dragon-flies, lady-birds, flowers, etc.
They all seem to be so care-free - their needs being met every day by the providence of the One who made them. In each shot I took I am constantly assured that this same God will also meet my needs and help me through the adventures of life no matter how mundane it can be sometimes.I have to confess that though I am sure of God's provision and presence, it is difficult to comprehend them when faced with adversities.
Today has not been a pretty good day for me as I feel very oppressed - my chest felt tight, my head pounding, my legs very cramped up. Maybe I am anxious about many things and not putting my full trust in God for the worries I have. I can remember those times when I was able to leave these concerns on the throne of God and I could feel my shoulders being lifted from the burdens. I pray I will be able to do that again soon.
It did not help that I was burdened by a few things this afternoon - mum is not well as lately she has been feeling light-headed. Sometimes her glucose level goes too low and she would feel a little giddy. I took her blood pressure and they were lower than the normal readings. I spoke to a doctor-friend and she advised me to monitor mum's condition.
I was also troubled by my tendencies to over-care for people that I become very affected by them. Sometimes I wish I will just not care for a while but I know I cannot do that. It does not help when this care shown has been mis-read at times and it can be discouraging.
Anyway, the fact that I am blogging again is a good start to share about my life's journey - both the good and the not-so-good experiences.
“The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.” Zephaniah 3:17
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