I have no qualms sharing this - I am very disappointed with dad. Sometimes I feel like giving up showing my care and concern for his physical well-being.
I admitted the last time when I told him to watch what he drinks (especially fizzy drinks), my tone was a bit condescending but yesterday's incident was far from that.
I do not know whether is it because dad is old hence he does not really bother about his personal hygiene but there are some practices which my brother and I feel that he still needs to watch. Anyway, yesterday I casually asked him to take care of one part of his hygiene. I said it in a nice, casual and friendly tone - the reply I got was the same as the soft-drink incident.
He raised his voice and said that it is his life and if he should suffer, it is his problem and not ours, etc. What I do not like about dad is that he never stops to think first before trying to defend himself and his words can sometimes hurt deeply - yesterday it felt like a sword jabbing into my heart.
What pained me was he did it in front of mum which I felt was insensitive of him. This morning when I took mum's blood pressure and when I told her about the reading, she sighed. I asked her whether she has been thinking a lot and she said yes. I guess she still worries for the family. Anyway, I prayed with her in the presence of dad who was also in the room.
I hardly pray with mum especially on issues of the family but I felt led to do so at that point. I basically asked the Lord to help the members in my family not to treat each other like enemies but to love. I also prayed that He will help us forgive each other of past hurts caused and to let Him heal and united the family.
This is my heart's desire for the family. Yesterday after the incident with dad, I decided to go out and breathe a little. I took a train to Hougang and walked around the area. I reflected and I also spoke with God.
Someone ever told me not to air my dirty laundry on my blog. I do not know on what basis he was telling me not to do it but for me I will continue to do so as it is a real struggle I am experiencing as a Christian and an adult in this life's journey.
I am blogging it not to put anyone down but to basically let others know how I deal with life the human way initially and after that the Christian way (which sometimes is hard to practice as there is this constant battle between human wisdom and Godly wisdom) and eventually how God pulled me through this particular episode of my walk.
Another reason I jot my thoughts down is for readers of my blog, who are Christians, to pray for me.
Anyway, it is so ironic that I actually shared with my accountability group on Wednesday about my struggles at home and how I am trying to deal with it the correct way and when I had to do it the following day, I got such an unpleasant response from someone I love.
Well, my family members are humans too. I guess I will have to bear with them just like I want others to bear with my shortcomings.
"As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace." Ephesians 4:1-3
"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." Colossians 3:12-14
I admitted the last time when I told him to watch what he drinks (especially fizzy drinks), my tone was a bit condescending but yesterday's incident was far from that.
I do not know whether is it because dad is old hence he does not really bother about his personal hygiene but there are some practices which my brother and I feel that he still needs to watch. Anyway, yesterday I casually asked him to take care of one part of his hygiene. I said it in a nice, casual and friendly tone - the reply I got was the same as the soft-drink incident.
He raised his voice and said that it is his life and if he should suffer, it is his problem and not ours, etc. What I do not like about dad is that he never stops to think first before trying to defend himself and his words can sometimes hurt deeply - yesterday it felt like a sword jabbing into my heart.
What pained me was he did it in front of mum which I felt was insensitive of him. This morning when I took mum's blood pressure and when I told her about the reading, she sighed. I asked her whether she has been thinking a lot and she said yes. I guess she still worries for the family. Anyway, I prayed with her in the presence of dad who was also in the room.
I hardly pray with mum especially on issues of the family but I felt led to do so at that point. I basically asked the Lord to help the members in my family not to treat each other like enemies but to love. I also prayed that He will help us forgive each other of past hurts caused and to let Him heal and united the family.
This is my heart's desire for the family. Yesterday after the incident with dad, I decided to go out and breathe a little. I took a train to Hougang and walked around the area. I reflected and I also spoke with God.
Someone ever told me not to air my dirty laundry on my blog. I do not know on what basis he was telling me not to do it but for me I will continue to do so as it is a real struggle I am experiencing as a Christian and an adult in this life's journey.
I am blogging it not to put anyone down but to basically let others know how I deal with life the human way initially and after that the Christian way (which sometimes is hard to practice as there is this constant battle between human wisdom and Godly wisdom) and eventually how God pulled me through this particular episode of my walk.
Another reason I jot my thoughts down is for readers of my blog, who are Christians, to pray for me.
Anyway, it is so ironic that I actually shared with my accountability group on Wednesday about my struggles at home and how I am trying to deal with it the correct way and when I had to do it the following day, I got such an unpleasant response from someone I love.
Well, my family members are humans too. I guess I will have to bear with them just like I want others to bear with my shortcomings.
"As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace." Ephesians 4:1-3
"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." Colossians 3:12-14
1 comment:
This is real life, and we get no exemptions just for being Christians! We Christians are so hung up about sharing our problems, that we even take offense when others try to do so.
I hope you will be able to share your burdens with someone who will listen and not judge. We all need someone like that from time to time. I don't need someone to "fix" me.
Post a Comment