Everything Takes Effort

Though I have many friends from everywhere, most of them from church, I realised today that there are a lot for me to learn still about friendship. I always thought that as I develop a relationship with someone, the bond would be a close one where both parties can share their lives with one another freely. Yesterday I came to a conclusion that it was not to be - sometimes it may even draw the parties away.

But one thing I know about friendship is this - it takes both hands to clap. If one party gives too much, then the relationship would be very one-sided. Both must make an effort to build up that bond and trust and to spur one another on.

I also learnt that I should not take my friends for granted. I have done that so many times and I guess that had strained some of the relationships.

At the end of the day, I basically told myself that my friends and I are all imperfect people. So long as effort is put in to understand one another and build that relationship, then the friendship would definitely develop and be strengthened.

Well, so much for that.

I went to see an Orthopaedic this afternoon to have my knee checked and the diagnosis, after running some tests, is that I have Patellofemoral Pain Syndrome. The cause is due to excessive running which is subjective as the knees of individuals react differently though they may be doing the same frequency of runs. The other issue is also my weight. I am now overweight - not obese anymore. Praise the Lord for that. I need to lose more weight in order for me to maintain the same frequency that I was doing before the injury. My knees now can only support a lighter frame.

Well, I was given some painkillers and was advised to lay off running for a couple of weeks. I also need to build up the muscles of my legs so that when I run, I do not have to depend solely on my knees.

Anyway, I am thankful to God that the problem is not serious but I have been told that I need to take good care of my knees from now on.

My flu is still there and I started coughing this morning. Fever is gone though. Praise the Lord! I am still walking with a limp and I have been advised to wear the knee brace that my God-sister got for me last year. I did not use it often but now I guess I will. I think God forsaw that my knee is going to be injured, hence He prompted my God-sis to buy the brace for me. He truly works mysteriously.

"Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. "Make level paths for your feet," so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed." Hebrews 12:12-13

"And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching." Hebrews 10:24-25

God's Grace Is Sufficient For Me

It is amazing how God made me well enough this morning to serve Him in the Worship Team. Last night my flu was very bad (sneezed so many times that I actually felt tired) and my fever was about 37.8 degrees Celsius.

I messaged the Worship Team members, my God-sister and a few other friends to pray for me as I sensed the work of the evil one was trying to weaken me to the point where I was unable to serve the Lord. My left knee was still giving me problem.

When I woke up this morning, I told the Lord no matter how I was feeling I would still go to church and serve Him. By His grace, I was able to do just that but I must admit it was a torturous moment for me as my knee was quite painful after a while. The first few songs were quite fast and because of that, there were a lot of movements of my legs. That kind of stressed my knee a little.

There was an interesting experience that I want to share though - despite of all the pain I had to endure, I actually enjoyed worshipping the Lord as I played the drums. I realised since I cannot do anything about the pain and the slight flu that I was still having, I might as well just praise the Lord with whatever I had. That was truly refreshing for me as it allowed me to understand what it meant to worship the Lord in spirit and in truth.

I also told the Lord that my human abilities could only allow me to do limited stuff this morning and asked Him to help me as I played. He did not fail me and answered my prayers. I noticed I actually played better today as compared to other times when I was well. I even played some interesting rhythms for two songs. Thanks be to Him for that!

Well, no words can comprehend how God works so mightily when I am at my weakest.

I shall stop here. Thank you to those of you who have prayed and are still praying for me.

A brand new week of adventure awaits you and me!

Oh yah, Liverpool beat Chelsea 2 - 0! Well done, Reds! The Manchester United - Arsenal match starting soon! I am hoping the Red Devils will lose later so that Liverpool can chase up. It may seem impossible for the Reds to do so but I am still hopeful they may surprise the soccer world with a late comeback! :)

"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

"I can do everything through him who gives me strength." Philippians 4:13

Know Your Calling & Destiny

From 9am to 5pm, I attended a course called "Calling & Destiny" by Kwan Yew Beng of Arrows Ministry.

It was a good time for me as I was reminded of the need to seek God for His calling in my life - to obey Him wherever He wants me to go and to do whatever He wants me to do. I was also challenged to reflect on my value system because like it or not, the values I hold in my life will affect the way I think. It is my prayer that my values are in line with that of God's. If not, it is important that I begin to review and change them accordingly.

One exercise we did touched me deeply and that 1/2 hour or so was a ministry time for me by the Holy Spirit. We were encouraged by the speaker to chart our lives' time-line from birth to the time we knew God to learning more about Him and ourselves through the trials we faced and the gifts and talents He has given us to using them for ministry and finally to reaching a moment where we are sure of our destiny.

That short period allowed me to reflect on my past - how when I was young I had a good relationship with my dad but a bad one with my mum (especially the physical abuses she subjected me to); how I refused to study just so that I can spite my mum for always comparing me to my cousins and her friends' children; how I joined a gang and got influenced by them; how I came to know God as my Lord and Saviour and for Him to affirm my gifts and talents; how I got into the Normal Stream because my Primary School Leaving Examination result was bad; how I failed my 'O' Level examinations twice and having to do my Secondary School education in 6 years rather than 4; how God changed my perspective of studies and honouring my parents (regardless of how imperfect they may be) with it through Rev. Melvin Huang's counsel; how I did well for my 'A' Level examination though I was in a private school (thanks again to Rev. Melvin's strict guidance and monitoring); how my parents (this was when I really forgave my mum and had a reconciliation with her) and grandma turned their lives to Christ; how I adopted my God-daughter; how I did well in my first year of undergraduate studies (allowing me to do an accelerated honours course in three years rather than four) and in the end graduating with a very good degree; how I injured my kidney severely when I was playing rugby in Cambridge; how I had to endure the painful moments of having to go through dialysis treatments three times a week; how I found a job in the teaching industry; how there were ups and downs when I was struggling with my kidney injury; how I broke up with my girlfriend of four years because I was not sure what my future holds when my condition did not improve; how I enjoyed teaching; how the doctor declared me healthy again and not having to undergo dialysis anymore; how I failed in a relationship attempt with someone I love dearly; how I was offered a Master's programme and completing them through the grace of God; how I adopted my God-sister; and now how I am still blessed with a stable job and serving the Lord joyfully in church.

The above-mentioned were significant moments of my life. Though there were many ups and downs, the fact that I am still here being able to write them down speaks volumes of God's faithfulness, goodness and blessings in my life. All glory to Him for the achievements He has given me thus far.

Yesterday I shared about my frustrations regarding my busted knee but today I was made to realise that at the end of it all, God will see me through it as He had always been in this pilgrim's journey I have travelled so far.

There are still many roads for me to trot; many adventures for me to experience; and many more lessons for me to learn - I pray I will be able to press on till the day I finally breathe my last and I sure hope God would say to me, "Well done, you good and faithful servant!"

Thanks be to God for helping me focus my eyes back to Him rather than the pain I am experiencing now on my left knee.

Guess what? I am having a bad flu now (I have been sneezing my lungs out since I came home) - I do not know whether this is warfare or what but it is amazing how in preparing to serve the Lord tomorrow in the Worship Team, I had to have a quarrel with my mum and brother and then to have my knee busted and now my nose running like water gushing out from a tap.

Having written so much, I have to say this in closing - God never fails us even at times when we have failed Him. This is the God I worship and serve and I am proud to let the whole world know about Him. Hallelujah!

Have to say this too - time for me to watch the Liverpool - Chelsea match! Go, Liverpool! You'll never walk alone because Andy is right behind you! :)

"But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit." Jeremiah 17:7-8

God's Plans Are Always Good For Us?

Things just do not seem to work out for me today. This afternoon my left knee cap got so painful that I could hardly walk. Every step I took was just so torturous - hurt till I actually perspired. It was alright in the morning and suddenly it took a turn for the worst just after when I was about to knock off from work during lunch-time. I have this feeling my left knee is busted.

I just wonder when will I ever be spared from all the physical struggles I have been going through all these years - when I was young, I had asthma. It got better as I grew up. Then in 1998 my kidney had to be injured from a rugby match. Because of that, my body weakened and from the stress and anxieties I had to go through, the stomach ulcers began to surface. Just when I thought everything has become normal again when the doctor gave me the green light to exercise after declaring my kidneys almost back to its healthy state, this knee problem must come at a time when I am beginning to love running to keep myself fit and also to lose some of the excess fats on my body!

Sometimes I question God what exactly is He trying to do with my life? I am a human and there come a point of time when enough is enough because I just cannot handle it anymore physically, mentally and psychologically.

I am just so tired at times. These several years of physical imperfections have taken away many things I hold dear to my heart - sometimes I feel I have lost many precious moments of my youth due to all these struggles. My peers were all focusing on their job advancements and family planning when I had to deal with the pains from all the needles that had to be poked into my arms. I dared not even think of settling down then because I had no idea whatsoever whether I could live to a ripe old age.

I know all that I have written above sounds as if I am accusing God for being bad and that I am complaining lots. Do not blame me for doing that because I am only human. As much as I am a Christian who has been taught to trust God and have faith in Him, do give me a chance also to live my life as a human and not some super-beings. I think I am entitled to being frustrated at times.

That said, I am grateful to God for preserving my life till now and He has given me a lot of things all these years - His blessings I will always hold dear in my heart but sometimes I just do not understand what His plans are for me when I thought I already knew.

I guess I still have to leave my life to God because deep down somewhere amongst those anger, doubts and hurts, there is this belief He will not fail me. Am I progressing in my pilgrim's journey? Sometimes I do not know. It is like taking one step forward and then suddenly I had to take two steps backward when faced with the trials of life.

So much for that. Sorry for blabbing away - I guess after this I will spend time with God to ask Him to help me.

This afternoon I called my mum and my brother to seek reconciliation for any hurts I have caused during the quarrel in the morning. I apologised to them. My mum accepted it but my brother had a harder time doing so - I guess it will take a while for him to cool down. Well, I have done all I could and the rest I will have to leave it to God to do the healing process.

Though my knee was painful, I praise God for allowing me to play though the pain barrier. I just focused myself on worshipping Him though I must admit it was tough with all that I have written above.

I hope God will heal my knee in His time. For now, I will just carry on playing the drums for as long as my left knee allows me to.

I shall stop here. I just need to sleep. Tomorrow will be a brand new day of adventure for me to look forward to - hopefully there is more good than bad experiences.

Forgive me, Lord, for having gone out of tangent in some of the frustrations shared.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

When Words Hurt

Something happened this morning and it all started because of a trivial matter.

My mum was trying to clean one of the fans by using a small brush to remove the dust. It was flying all over the room and a lot landed on the floor. If she turned on the fan, the remaining dust (which had come loose) would have been blown onto my brother's bed. He was still sleeping at that time.

I told my mum she should not use that method as it would be much easier to remove the cover and blade and have them washed with water. Because of that comment I made, she thought I found her a nuisance and kicked up a fuss. When I saw her reacted that way, I also got agitated. Then my brother woke up and made some angry comments. Tempers flared and quarrels began.

I was already running late for work due to the pain on my left knee. I needed to put some ice on it to soothe the discomfort. Everything got delayed further as I needed to dismantle the fan and have the parts cleaned.

When I was doing that, I dropped the blade which had three plastic petals. One of them broke and when my brother saw it, he thought I was venting my frustrations on it. He then made some remarks. I got even more worked up and demanded that he kept his comments to himself.

After I towelled dry the parts and have them re-assembled, I took my stuff and left the house in a huff as I could not be bothered with everyone anymore.

I am angry with myself, first and foremost, for allowing the devil to lay in foothold in a matter so trivial like cleaning a fan to making three adults quarrel like some small kids.

I could have handled the situation in a better manner but because I was off-guard, I went along with it and made matters worse.

Reflecting on the above-mentioned now, I could have helped my mum do what I thought was a better method than to make so much comments about it. She probably have meant well when she was trying to clean the fan but some words I said could have affected her.

As for my brother's remarks when I broke the blade, I could have allowed him to say what he wanted to but nope, I did not. Instead I allowed my pride to get the better of me by defending myself and by raising my voice at him.

What irked me most is this - a few days ago, I prayed and asked the Lord to help me be a testimony to my brother so that I can share my faith with him but now with this incident, how to?

I spent some time in prayer just now at the rooftop of my workplace. I know what I need to do and I pray I will do it soon. I need to get myself right with God, my mum and brother because this Sunday I am serving in the Worship Team. Tonight there is a rehearsal and I cannot let this affect me to the point where I cannot worship the Lord in spirit and in truth.

Who's right or wrong is not important - what matters is that I seek reconciliation with my mum and brother. I hope they will understand when I speak to them.

I never expected this to happen when I woke up but it did. It hurts to hurt the people I love so dearly. I pray in my pilgrim's journey, there will be less of this though I know it is part and parcel of relationships. Today I fell into a pit because I was not careful. I hope in future I will watch what I say and do.

Time for me to mend broken relationships.

Forgive me, Lord.

"In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold." Ephesians 4:26-27

"Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift." Matthew 5:23-24

Please Update Your Virus File Immediately

Today my Norton Anti-Virus software asked me to do two things: one, to update my virus file (if not, my computer will be at risk against all the malicious bugs lurking around in the cyber-world); and two, to upgrade my software because the license is expiring soon (if not, my computer will not be protected at all).

So I did what it instructed me: I updated the virus file and I also went to buy a new software. Now I am assured that my computer would be safe at least for the next two years.

Symantec: Please do not kill me but I have switched brand because it has better features, takes up less memory, updates the virus file by the hour, is a lot cheaper; the license is for two years and it also allows me to download the software in two computers rather than one.

For those who want to know what brand I got, message me and I will tell you about it. :)

So why did I share about the two warnings given? I co-related the above-mentioned to my walk with God - I was reminded that I also need to update the 'virus' file in my life regularly by downloading the many lessons God has for me from the most efficient and effective Anti-Virus source - The Bible. This is THE product for all Christians to use and update themselves.

If a software can protect my computers from being destroyed by all the viruses, then the Bible can surely do more than that. The Word of God I keep in my heart can be used against the evil one when he tempts me daily - to help me say no when the devil wants me to say yes to his ploys and schemes; and I can also use it to guide my life as to where I should and can go.

As would the warning I receive from Symantec that if I do not update or upgrade my virus file and software respectively, my computer would be doomed for destruction; so will my spiritual life be in chaos if I do not study the Bible regularly (daily, that is).

So the choice is obvious - update ourselves daily by reading the Word of God and practising it wherever we are and in whatever situation we may be in. IT IS FOR OUR OWN GOOD! In this age of consumerism, why miss out on such a good state-of-the-art and perfect PRODUCT? Best still, it is free.

By the way, ever wondered since the Word of God was given to us free, why is it that we have to buy the Bible? Should it not be given to all without a price-tag attached? If it is the Bible Commentary or Dictionary or Concordance, probably a price can be placed on these items. Just a thought that has been ringing in my mind for a while already.

Anyway, I went for a run this morning at around 9:30 and I covered a shorter distant today as I did not want to aggravate the slight pain I am experiencing on my left knee. It was refreshing, as always - took that time to pray for my friends, ministries and also myself. It also allowed me to look at the things I ran past - just to admire the beauty of God's creation.

Well, I had a relatively good day, hope it is for you too. :)

Before I go, remember this (and this is also for me to note) - the next time there is this tugging in our hearts, prompting us to do something with our spiritual lives, it is probably a warning from God to update our lives' virus file immediately. Do not procrastinate - it will probably save us from destruction.

"Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful."
Joshua 1:8

"Have nothing to do with godless myths and old wives' tales; rather, train yourself to be godly. For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come. This is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance." 1 Timothy 4:7-9

"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." Ephesians 6:10-12

An Encounter With A One-Legged Bird

I had a very good rest after a long night at work. Took a hot refreshing bath before I went into Slumberland. I basically slept for about 4 hours. Praise the Lord for the much needed sleep.

I went out after that as I needed to be at Tan Tock Seng Hospital to collect my Glucosamine Sulphate capsules to last me for the next three months. So far this medication has been doing my knees good. Both yesterday and today I experienced a little pain on my left knee but it should be fine after a while. Sometimes it can be quite frustrating to have this pain come on and off.

Since August 2005 when the doctor gave me the green light to exercise after a few years of not being able to do so (due to my kidney injury), I have always wanted to work out my body to keep fit and also to lose the excess weight. Then this pain has to surface and it sometimes breaks the momentum of my exercise regime as I needed to rest my knees.

There were moments when I wished God could give me a new pair of legs but I know it won't happen. He will heal but to detached my legs from my body to have them replaced with new ones is impossible and outrageous, for that matter! I am not saying He is incapable of doing it, since He is God, but I think it is not what He had planned it to be when He created limbs for us humans. :)

Anyway, talking about legs, this afternoon I had an interesting encounter with a one-legged bird perched on one of the branches of a tree next to Orchard Paragon. I was waiting to cross the road when I suddenly heard an interesting chirping. I looked around but could not see any birds. Then as I intently listened and scan the branches again, I saw it! It is a Javan Myna, very common in Singapore. It is a black bird with a yellow beak. Sometimes you can see some bald-headed ones that look like mini vultures (hmmm... never knew birds have receding hair-line and balding problems too). Anyway, it was perched on the branch with just one leg.

The wind was quite strong when I saw the bird but yet it was able to stand firm against the forces of nature. The pedestrian light turned green but I decided not to cross as I wanted to observe the behaviour of this extraordinary bird.

There were other Javan Mynas flying around but this one bird chose to stay on the branch and it was chirping happily away. I have never heard such beautiful music created by a bird and I was mesmerised by its singing. I basically stood where I was for a good 10 minutes just watching every movement it made. I did attract some attention from passers-by who also looked up at the direction where I was focusing on. I hope no one thought I was doing a Candid Camera stunt. :)

Well, I learnt two things just by watching this one-legged Myna:-

1) Though handicapped, it did not stop itself from doing what other birds do - flying; chirping and perching on branches of trees. It was also not shaken by the forces of the wind blowing against its puny body. It stood firm and could still sing happily - in fact it sang more than the rest of the birds around it. Though different from the other birds of the same species, it still lives on.

Putting it in human context, I was basically reminded that though sometimes I am faced with adversities, I should not see my life as hitting a dead-end. Instead I should press on by travelling other alternative routes that God would surely provide.

That bird could have given up and die but it did not. God still fed it and I think the bird was not the least worried about food as it probably knows they are somewhere so long as it keeps searching for them. This is how God created the Myna to be.

It goes the same for us humans, God created us not to choose the road of death or discouragement when faced with trials of life. Instead He created us to trust in Him so that we can continue with our life's journey and be strengthened by the lessons we learnt from the obstacles we face along the way.

If God can help the one-legged winged creature, why should He not help us even more?

2) The handicapped Myna chose to be different from the rest of its species. The other birds were frantically flying around or against the wind because the branches were swaying violently for them to perch on. Yet this one creature was able to stay calm and be undeterred by its surroundings, chirping happily away. If that same Myna chose to fly around like the rest of the birds, then I would have crossed the road long time ago without noticing it at all.

The above-mentioned reminded me that as a Christian, I need to stand out though sometimes it is easier to blend in. Just like the bird, I need to set an example or be a good testimony to the people around me by being different in the way I live out my life. Only when I choose to do that, will others be able to notice me. It then gives me the opportunity to share my faith to them.

Well, it is amazing how God can teach me precious lessons through the one-legged Javan Myna.

I shall attempt to practice them from here onwards. The pilgrim's journey carries on.

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? "And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

Matthew 6:25-34

Keep Watch!

It is 4:20am now and I am still awake. I am actually at work - I had to cover the duties of two colleagues who are down with food poisoning. They must have eaten something somewhere together to have this tummy upset. I hope they will be well soon.

I was very tired when I got the urgent call from one of the senior staff. It was in the midst of the Local Church Executive Committee (LCEC) meeting that the buzz came. I was so tempted to tell him that I could not make it but praise God I did not. It would have been irresponsible of me to evade an urgent call for help. I probably would have lied too.

I am definitely running on adrenaline now but I also know I will surely sleep like a log later. Cannot wait for that to happen actually. Already thinking of my bed.

Well, the busy part of the shift is over. That's why I decided to update the blog now.

It was quite funny when I told one of the Lay Ministry Staff (LMS) that I had to go to work after the LCEC meeting. I was telling her that I might not have the time to go home and wash up first but to head straight for office with my smelly clothes I had on. Then one of the leaders offered me a ride home. I was elated as I really needed a bath. You see, I have been out the whole day before I headed for the meeting. A bath would have been appropriate!

Anyway, the LMS told me I shouldn't bathe so that my smelly self would keep me awake the whole morning. Haha. I'd definitely be awake but the people around me probably would be DEAD! She is so evil, right? :)

Anyway, after all the teasings she told me probably God has a reason for me to be called back. I was just reflecting on that and I guess I can think of one now.

My colleague was talking to me just now about the recent heavy rainfall and also the other natural calamities happening around the world. She also mentioned about how terrorism is so rampant nowadays. She was just wondering whether the end of the world is approaching. By the way, she is a Christian.

Anyway, my answer to that is I do not know whether these are signs of the end times. It could be but to me I am not really too bothered by that because what is more important is whether we are ready for the coming of the Lord again should He appear during our life-time.

No point predicting the signs when what matters is the readiness. I told her what we should be concerned now is the way we live our lives and whether we have been training ourselves towards holiness and godliness. It also reminded me the urgency to reach out to my loved ones who have yet to accept Jesus as their Lord and Saviour.

When we can do the above-mentioned, even if Jesus were to come tomorrow, we will not be afraid as we are ready to give Him an account of how we have led our lives here.

I might not have given her the theological aspect to the question she asked but this was what I had to remind her and myself when we were touching on that topic.

Okie dokes, so much for that.

A dear friend asked me via sms about my driving yesterday - she thought I had started but I told her it will be next week. I shared with her my qualms about the driving test and she basically encouraged me not to let my fears cripple me. She also asked me to look to God. Yup, I guess even when it comes to things like a driving test that I need God to help and guide me. I will keep her encouragement in mind each time I take my driving lesson.

Alright, time to go - another colleague just got breakfast. Yumz. :)

"Therefore keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come. But understand this: If the owner of the house had known at what time of night the thief was coming, he would have kept watch and would not have let his house be broken into. So you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him." Matthew 24:42-44

Stand In Awe Of God

I thought I was supposed to have my first driving lesson but when I went to the driving school, I was told that it is a theory class that I had to attend. The duration was about 1 1/2 hours.

I kind of suspected that it would not be a practical lesson today because last week when I told a friend about it and when she asked about the time, she said it is weird to have the practical lesson at 9am when it is supposed to be 8:30am. Anyway, the class was a good refresher course for me since I have not touched the steering wheel of a car for a couple of years already.

Well, I will start proper next Tuesday. I shall look forward to it.

I had to run some errands after the class. When I was in Raffles City, I met Mr Thaksin (Thailand's ex-Prime Minister) and his wife. They were shopping. When I saw them, I was quite surprised but decided to give them a smile when we made eye-contact. He smiled back and walked on.

This man is a billionaire but he did not have any bodyguards with him. He and his wife just held each other's hand as they shopped. Some noticed them but for those who did not, the couple would probably be passed off as any other person in the street.

I do not know how others would have felt or reacted but when I saw him, my heartbeat started to increase and there was this sense of "I-am-not-worthy-to-be-in-your-presence" awe. It was crazy to have felt that way but it came upon me there and then.

As I carried on with my errands, something dawned upon me along the way. Will I have the same sense of awe for God when I know He is around? In fact, He is around all the time since He is omnipresent. If that is the case, do I stand in awe of Him at every moment of my life?

Well, sad to say, not all the time. I guess the saying "Familiarity Breeds Contempt" holds true when one knows another too well and take the person for granted. The scary thing is I am taking the Almighty God for granted. I hope He will have mercy on me for times when I do that.

I went to see the Traditional Chinese Medicine practitioner about my arm. He did some twisting here and there and used some red lamp treatment. Well, the shoulder feels less sore now. Hopefully in due time, everything would be alright.

I got a call from the Blood Bank again to donate my blood as soon as I can. The 'O+" blood type is running dry. They called me last week actually but I did not have the time to go. Since they called again, I decided to detour to the Singapore General Hospital for the donation. I pray this small bag I have given would save a life.

Okie, I shall stop here. Need to go buy dinner before I attend the Local Church Executive Committee's meeting.

I shall write again if there is anything else.

"Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, for our "God is a consuming fire." Hebrews 12:28-29

God Will Never Fail Us!

I just came back from a run. The weather was so nice that I decided to try new routes today. From my place, I ran along Upper Serangoon Road to Boundary Road; then hit a short stretch of Lorong Chuan; to Ang Mo Kio Avenue 1; to Bishan Park A (the one with the big field); then to the Park Connectors along the canal linking Bishan to Toa Payoh Lorong 8 and finally back to Potong Pasir. The total distant I measured using my PDA's Global Positioning System was 9.6km.

I do not know what possessed me to run so far but I just ran. Started at around 5:45pm and finished around 7:15pm.

Before I ran, I told the Lord that I felt like running today and asked Him to help me. I also asked Him to give me the courage to smile at every person I would be running past and it was a great experience. I will share more as I write on.

I spent a lot of time during the run speaking to God about some matters concerning my life, my friends and also ministries.

I prayed for my friend's friend who met with an accident while she was holidaying in the U.S.. When I logged on to the MSN about 15 minutes ago, I was told that she had been discharged but has to remain in the U.S. for a little while more. Praise the Lord! An answered prayer!

Then I prayed for my God-sister's schoolmate who was diagnosed to have leukemia. When I prayed for her, my heart was at peace that she is going to be alright. I messaged my God-sister immediately after the run. When she replied, it affirmed what the Lord assured me. I was told that her schoolmate's condition is not so serious. She is basically now on medication and the cancer cells are not "active" (as stated by my dear God-sis). Again a prayer answered as in her condition being not as bad as I feared it to be initially.

I also prayed for the salvation of my brother and his girlfriend and also for my friend's father and a few other people whom I know are pre-believers. I do not know how else to pray for them except for the Lord to open their hearts so that the saving grace of Jesus will enter into their lives. Sometimes it feels that it is going to be really tough but when I prayed, I pleaded with God to be merciful upon them and I claimed Acts 16:31 that one day all in the household will be saved! When I did that, I know that God is already softening their hearts.

I prayed for my right arm that God will heal it completely and for my stomach ulcer that it will go away soon. I think it is still there - occasionally I can feel the sore around my tummy area but I thank God that it is not as bad as it was. Tomorrow I shall go and see the Traditional Chinese Medicine practitioner (sinseh) about my arm - hopefully he will be able to correct it.

There were other prayer needs that I submitted to God - shall not type all of them out as it would take a real long time.

Anyway, I thank God that I was able to smile to as many people as the muscles around my cheeks allowed me to. I seldom do that - first of all, I would be too tired to do so due to all the huffing and puffing from the running; secondly, I was scared that people would think I am mad or have some ulterior motives towards them especially the ladies.

Anyway, I put all that aside and gave almost everyone the best smile I could give! And guess what? Many smiled back and some waved. Some even asked me how I was. Wow! A stranger doing that to another.

"What's the big deal in doing so?" Some of you may ask. Well, it may not be a big deal but what I wanted to do was to brighten these people's lives. Whether they needed it or not, that was not my main concern. It also brought joy and some light to my own life and it felt good because the past few days have been quite gloomy for me spiritually and emotionally.

I wanted to end soon but I have to write this down - I also prayed for Cambodia and the people whom my church is supporting. Just got an email from two of my dearest partners in ministry - Kevin and Claire. They shared about how God has been good in providing them many new opportunities in their tent-making ministries. I was quite burdened for them but when I read what they wrote, it brought a smile and I know that God is assuring me that everything is in good hands - His hands!

It is amazing how earlier I was praying for so many things concerning my life and others and when I came home from the run, I was told of so many good news and answered prayers. Hallelujah! Truly the Lord is good and His love endures forever!

It is moments like these when things may not be going well in my life that God is using situations around to assure me that everything is going to be alright in Christ eventually! :)

I shall end here. Praise the Lord for allowing me to complete the run.

Oh yah, I am starting my driving lesson tomorrow. I am kind of looking forward to it but at the same time, fearful that I will not pass again when the test finally comes in a couple of months' time.

Anyway, to God be the glory for everything today!

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

"Strengthen the feeble hands, steady the knees that give way; say to those with fearful hearts, "Be strong, do not fear; your God will come,...... he will come to save you." Isaiah 35:3-4

"If the LORD delights in a man's way, he makes his steps firm; though he stumble, he will not fall, for the LORD upholds him with his hand." Psalm 37:23-24

Grandma, The Greatest!

I came home not too long ago from my grandma's 83rd birthday celebration. I brought her and the family to a Chinese restaurant in a hotel located along the Marina Bay area. I praise the Lord she enjoyed the dinner. I think I over-ordered though because I chose all the dishes she likes. I did not want to miss out any basically.

After the last course, she candidly whispered into my ear that she was so full that her baju-kebaya (an outfit worn by the Straits Chinese aka Peranakan or Baba) might just rip apart. :)

I just wanted mama (as she is affectionately known) to enjoy this special day that God has made for her. She has toiled many years having to take care of the family and this is just a small act of appreciation for her love towards me and every one else in the family.

In fact, her birthday was on 7 January (last Sunday) but we could not celebrate it then as she was having a bad gastritis attack.

I am very grateful to mama because she is the one who has been taking care of me since I was a baby. Even now at the age of 34, she is still taking care of this "Ah-Boy."

When I was doing my lower primary education, she was the one who walked me to and from school - rain or shine. When I became a difficult child to handle because of bad influences I got from some gangster-friends, she always tried to protect me when my mum caned me. She would even use her own body to cover over mine so that mum would stop whacking me.

When I did not do well for my 'O' Level exams and had a bad quarrel with my mum over that, mama would be the one to encourage me to press on and not give up.

There are just so many things that I can write about her love and care for me but I think the above-mentioned are enough to show what a great woman she is.

Mama's life has not been that great since she was a young woman - she became a widow a few years after her marriage with my grandpa. She did not remarry as she was too busy working. Mama had to take care of the three kids (one son and two daughters) on her own. She slogged a lot just so that her kids were fed enough.

Mama now only has one of her children left - my mum. Her son died when he was a young man due to an illness; her daughter passed away in 1996 because of cancer. Having two of her children gone before her had been devastating for mama but I am thankful to God for His wonderful plan.

It was after my aunty passed away that mama decided to turn her life to Christ. I was ministering to my aunty during her last days and there was this one day she decided to accept Jesus as her Lord and Saviour. When mama saw how her child decided to give her life to Christ, she broke down. A few weeks after the funeral, she told me she wanted Jesus in her life too and I led her in the sinner's prayer.

Not too long later, my parents also became Christians.

Wow, I do not know why I decided to share so much about mama. I guess I need to give her all the credits she deserves!

Well, I will always praise the Lord for her. I confess sometimes I take her love and care for granted. I pray the Lord will teach me not to do that but to cherish her as much as possible while she is still here on earth.

Well, thanks be to God for all that He has done today.

"Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved—you and your household." Acts 16:31

Be A Spirit-Filled Disciple

My right arm is still having some pain and I suspect it was from the bus accident two Thursdays ago. The pain sometimes stretches to the shoulder area. It was alright the past few days but this morning, the sore came back.

I woke up this morning with a heavy heart too. I guess I am still reflecting on what God spoke to me during the Fusion Rally. There are also some other thoughts which I am still seeking God to guide me.

Anyway, this morning's sermon by Rev. Lai Kai Ming was like a follow-up to what I heard from the Lord last night and I praise Him for that. The five steps he mentioned to a Spirit-filled life are:-

1) Confess my sins (An attitude towards repentence);

2) Yield (Surrender) to the Lord (An act of obedience and submission);

3) Ask (An act of faith);

4) Give thanks (An act of appreciation);

5) Expect great things to happen (An act of anticipation).

During the time when the Worship Leader was leading the songs, "Shepherd Of My Soul" and "Empower Me," I basically followed the five steps and gave to God what was burdening my heart. It felt good to release them before His throne of grace and I pray the Lord will continue to teach and mould me to be the kind of person He wants me to be.

I am at home now. I was planning to go for a run but looking at the rain, I doubt I can now. I was hoping to talk to God while I exercise, I guess I have to change my plan. There are just so many things to say to Him today. Maybe later tonight if the rain stops, I will go for a jog.

Today feels very sombre but I know the sun will shine again in Singapore and in my life. Guess sometimes it is good to experience some dark and gloomy moments so that I can appreciate the light which I sometimes take for granted.

I shall stop here. Celebrating grandma's birthday later. I hope she would be happy with what I have planned for her. She has been a great and caring granny all these years of my life and I hope she will like the place I am bringing her to. I do not know why but I feel there are not many years left for my family and I to celebrate mama's birthday. :( I hope God would prove me wrong because I do not wish to lose her though I know I will have to in His time. Well, this is part and parcel of God's plan.

"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." John 15:5

Man Conspire But God Convicts

Sometimes I feel I put people off. I know I have and I need to be careful. Some ways in which I do that are:-

1) I nag;

2) I brag;

3) I overdo things;

4) I put people down too easily;

5) I am impatient;

6) I am distracted;

7) I am insistent;

8) I am opinionated.

I am sure there are other areas which I hope, along the way, God and the people around will correct me so that I can learn from my weaknesses and shortcomings.

A hard lesson but I will work on my character flaws and pray that the Lord will help me.

Last night I had a purposeful time praising God when I was at the Fusion Rally at Suntec Convention Centre. I was with the youths from my church.

The time of praise, though some songs are new, allowed me to worship God from the bottom of my heart. It was during this moment where the Almighty God was so real and near that I was convicted of what I wrote in the beginning paragraphs. Thanks be to Him for that.

I guess there are still many lessons for me to learn in my pilgrim's journey.

"Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." Hebrews 4:14-16

The Analogy Of A Rappeller

I am writing this blog in Starbucks Cafe situated next to Orchard California Fitness Centre. It is a nice cosy place with not many people as it is situated in a secluded area of Orchard Road.

Earlier I was in Serangoon Garden Secondary School (SGSS) to assist the Boys' Brigade (BB) in their recruitment drive. One of the main attractions at the booth was the rappelling segment where two of the BB Boys demonstrated the activity.

I want to praise the Lord for allowing 43 Secondary One students to indicate their interest in joining the uniform group. I pray most, if not all, will commit to this ECA throughout their secondary education.

I am also thankful to God that I am better now physically. I was quite weak yesterday when I came home from SGSS. I napped for a while. Then woke up to write my blog. After that, I slept all the way till this morning at around 8am. My bones still ache a little though.

I learnt a precious spiritual lesson from the rappelling exercise that was conducted earlier. For the rappeller, he has to trust the instructor in everything especially the following three components - from the hooking of the safety rope (to prevent him from falling down when he climbs over the rail), the descending rope (controlled by the rappeller) and the guiding rope (controlled by the instructor) to the unhooking of the safety rope just before he descends.

If he does not trust the instructor fully, he will not have the confidence to execute the activity and would probably be holding on to the railings for his dear life!

The rappeller represents the Christian; the instructor represents God; the safety rope, prayer; the guiding rope, the Word and the descending rope, the journey that the Christian has to go through or experience.

The Christian must trust God fully in all he does, otherwise he will not be able to know where to go and what he has to do as he journeys through life. Just like the trust the rappeller has for his instructor.

As would the instructor who attached the three kinds of ropes to the rappellers; God also gave us three important elements: prayer; the Word; and also the journey of life for us to learn and grow through the adventures we face.

Only when we pray and believe that God would guide us would we then be ready to release our lives into His hands to begin our journey (just like the unhooking of the safety rope); the Word would still be attached to us so that along the way when we face doubts or are lost, it would serve as a light and encouragement for us to move on.

There is actually one more aspect to the rappelling activity - at the foot of the tower, there is always one or two relayers holding on to the guiding rope. Should there be an incident where the rappeller is decending too fast or falling, the relayers will immediately pull taut the guiding rope so that it will stop the rappeller from falling further.

These relayers represent the fellowship of believers. This is important as it allows one to help the other when he or she is struggling and the basis in which the support is given is the Word of God.

The above-mentioned reminds me that my journey as a pilgrim must have all these five fundamental components to keep my life in order and safe - God; prayer; the Word; the fellowship of my siblings-in-Christ; and life's adventures. Any of these missing will put my life in jeopardy and the worst-case scenario is that I will fall hard!

By the way, in order for the rappeller to perfect this skill, he needs to keep practising it. I think it goes the same for the Christian walk - in order for us to remember the components mentioned, remembering them in our minds is not enough. They have to be practised!

Thanks be to God that I had a fruitful day. It rained very heavily the whole of today. Inconvenient it has been for all but still, praise the Lord for giving the earth water so that all can drink it for their survival. :)

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

"And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching." Hebrews 10:24-25

"Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path." Psalm 119:105

"All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work."

2 Timothy 3:16-17

Making A Difference

I am feeling a little unwell. It is quite a sudden thing. I was okay in the morning as I was able to complete my run with a dear friend. I was also able to roam around looking for ingredients for the beef stew that I was intending to cook for my family. In the end I had to shelf the idea to next week as some stuff were not available due to my late grocery-shopping.

When I came home, I decided to nap and when I woke up, that was when I got a little woozy. I did not get to rest much after that as I needed to leave for Serangoon Garden Secondary School to assist the Boys' Brigade in their preparation for the school's Extra-Curricular Activity Day tomorrow.

The run this morning was refreshing as my friend and I covered a distance of about 5km. The plan was almost ruined as it was raining heavily around 9:30am - the supposed time we planned to start. We waited for a while and praise the Lord, the downpour eased up and off we went for our exercise.

I also passed my friend the planner I bought yesterday and I am thankful to God she likes it. I did not state this in yesterday's blog - I found the cover so ugly that I decided to replace it by designing my own cover. :)

This morning I was saddened by the sudden passing of a lecturer who used to teach me Sociology when I was doing my undergraduate study in NUS. Apparently he had a heart attack while talking to a student in his office. He was pronounced dead a few hours later in hospital.

I know Prof Rajah as a man who always went the extra mile for his students and he cared to listen whenever someone approached him for assistance. Well, he would be dearly missed by many.

I will always remember this one time when I had to be in NUS for a meeting and when he saw me, he asked whether I missed him so much that I decided to come by to pay him a visit. I replied candidly that I did - to the point of dreaming about him daily. Hee. :)

When he realised I am also in the teaching profession, he basically gave me a pat and said, "Andy, I did not know I inspired you so much!" He laughed as he was saying that. Truly a comical guy he was. To a certain extent, Prof Rajah did inspire me. :)

Well, he made a difference in many people's lives. He was not forced to do that but he made a choice to touch the hearts of people whom he was in contact with.

I hope to learn this from him. May the Lord give me the desire to want to be a blessing to the people around me. :)

"Those who are wise will shine like the brightness of the heavens, and those who lead many to righteousness, like the stars for ever and ever." Daniel 12:3

The Lord Provides!

Today has been a long one for me. I had to be at the Supreme Court in the morning for the T.T. Durai's hearing. I was all geared up to stay on for the whole day but in the end, I needed to be there till only lunch-time as there was a twist of event during the trial.

It was off to Raffles City next to buy a Personal Planner for a dear friend of mine. I thought Cards N Such still carries it but I was told by the salesperson that the shop does not hold the stocks anymore. I was informed that Kinokuniya has them but I was not ready to buy it from there as I know it will be very expensive.

I went to the Information Counter to borrow the Buying Guide. I called Life, Crest, Mount Zion, Acts, SKS and Trumpet Praise Bookstores. All told me they either ran out of stocks or did not bring in any this year. Acts Bookstore has some Planners but they included last year's calendar pages. Well, that would have been my last resort if all else failed.

Tecman was the last shop on my list since all other options had been exhausted. As I was walking along Raffles Hotel to Bras Basah Complex where the store is located, I asked the Lord to provide me just one and I would be the most grateful person in the world!

I walked around the shop but could not find any on the shelves. I decided to ask one of the salespersons. She told me she was not sure and she enquired with her colleagues about it. I was not too optimistic. Well, some said no more stocks; some were not sure; then there was this one other colleague who said there might be one left at the Cashier's Counter.

Off we went to the counter and lo and behold, the one and only Planner stood on the counter with its arms opened wide, crying out to me, "Buy Me! Buy Me! Bring me home!" I opened my arms and ran towards it. (Picture this scene in slow motion)

When I went closer to have a look, it was truly a Planner but an UGLY one! Pale green in colour with a print of a single rose. Man! Well, the Lord did answer my prayer but when I was praying, I forgot to add that the Planner must be a nice one. Sigh.

Just then, my friend, whom I was buying the Planner for, called me. I told her I found one but was not nice. She said it was okay and asked me to get it anyway. Well, I paid for it but was not too happy with my purchase.

Sigh again. What an ungrateful being this Andy Chew can be! The Lord provided and yet he is complaining! Much to be desired, I say!

Actually now that I reflect on the above-mentioned, I have to say "Thanks be to God!" for hearing my cry for help because I recalled as I was queueing up to pay for the Planner, another lady came into the shop to ask whether there were any organisers left. Just imagine if I had come into the shop a little later? So truly, praise the Lord! :)

Okie, so much for the Adventure of the Illusive Planner!

Now to something sad - just these couple of days, I received two bad news. One was from my God-Sister who messaged at 3:30pm to inform me that one of her schoolmates has been diagnosed with leukemia. She is now in NUH undergoing various tests to ascertain the severity of her condition. A 16-year old girl preparing for her 'O' Level exams this new year and she has to receive such news.

The other was from my God-Sister's sister who told me a friend of hers met with a serious car accident while she was holidaying in the U.S a week ago. This young lady is still an undergraduate, studying in NUS. She is now in the intermediate ICU under observation.

The above-mentioned has reminded me of how fragile our lives can be and that I should not take it for granted. I did question why such things must happen but my finite mind just cannot comprehend the infinite plan of the Almighty God. I guess I can only pray...

"Lord, be with Louise tonight as she sleeps that she will not be too anxious about the results that she will be receiving tomorrow. Please grant her Your grace and mercy. Make her well in Your time. Send Your angels to comfort and encourage her.

For Janelle, please strengthen her body so that her injuries will recover soonest possible. Help her to endure the pain during this period. Amen."

I know the Lord has heard my prayers and is in the process of healing these two precious children of His.

Well, I guess it is time for me to sleep. I have to wake up fairly early to go for a run with my friend.

Thanks be to God for allowing me to go through this day!

"This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him." 1 John5:14-15

"Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective." James 5:14-16

"And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints." Ephesians 6:18

Delight In The Lord

I forgot to write this on Monday's blog - I just signed up for driving lessons again and they will commence next Tuesday. It has been a while. To be exact, since the last time I failed my driving test which was a couple of years ago.

I was encouraged by a friend and a few others to re-take.

Well, not as excited as I used to feel when I initially signed up for my very first lesson. I also do not have the confidence as to whether I will pass this time round. I will just have to give my best and see how from there. No matter what the outcome may be, I will still praise the Lord.

I shall update accordingly on the above-mentioned.

I just came home from a birthday celebration for a friend. I am so happy for her as I just came to know from another friend (who was also at the gathering) that she got into a relationship with a guy recently. I pray the Lord will guide them as they develop their friendship.

It is always wonderful to know when two persons come together in sharing their lives with one another and building each other up.

Anyway, have you experienced at least once in your life an issue you are pursuing but the burden is you do not know what the result will be at the end of it all? Well, I am going through that now. I guess this is part and parcel of my pilgrim's journey. I will continue to seek the Lord regarding this.

The process for this searching is tiring. Sometimes it can be frustrating. I guess I will not let all these put me down but to let God show me His will as I seek Him.

Okie, a long day ahead for me. I guess I shall go and sleep now.

Good night, every one! :)

"Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4

Made A New Friend Today

I went for a run just now at around 6:30am. It was a cool morning and the weather threatened to rain but I decided to go ahead with my exercise.

I ran around the park opposite my place. Remember the Gurhka soldier who saluted when he ran past me? Well, I saw him again during my third round and guess what? He saluted me again. Haha. It was so funny!

But I felt it was wrong to pretend that I am one of them. As he was running in the opposite direction, I had to quickly turn back to catch him. Boy, was it tough to catch up with him as Nepalese are known for their long-distance running capabilities and they are really fast runners!

I think he was quite surprised and scared as to why this 'officer' was chasing after him. I greeted him and I asked whether he knows how to speak English. Well, he does a little. The fact that I spoke to him in English meant that I am not one of the Gurhka soldiers. I told him that I am a Singaporean living in Potong Pasir.

Out of curiosity, I asked him why he saluted me in both occasions and true enough, he said I looked like an officer and that I was stern-looking. :) Maybe next time I should run with a constant smile on my face. Haha.

By the way, the soldier's name is Durga. He is new to this island-nation. He arrived in Singapore only in November with his wife and baby son. Durga is only 22 years old.

Anyway, I am glad that he did not kill me on the spot when I revealed my identity. Phew! I told him we'll probably see each other quite often since I planned to run regularly. I even initiated having breakfast with him one of these days after a run. He smiled and said ok.

Well, I thank God that I got to know someone new out of an interesting encounter. I pray I will get a chance to have breakfast with Durga soon and along the way to share my faith with him should the opportunity arise.

I completed my run after four rounds. It was refreshing to sweat it out! :)

Oh yah, remember I mentioned in my previous blog that I look like someone who is quite handsome. Since I promised to reveal him, here goes......

He is......

none other than......

ANDY CHEW!!!!!!

Haha! I know! I know! So thick-skin, right?! Hey, at least I added the word 'quite' before "handsome." Haha.

Okie, I know it is lunch-time. Sorry to spoil your lunch by what I said in the last few paragraphs. :)

Time to go! Have a great meal, everyone!

"You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven." Matthew 5:14-16

One Of A Kind - Priceless

I happened to chance upon this TV programme, "Nip & Tuck," which my brother is watching now. For those of you who do not know what this series is about... well, it is regarding people who are not happy with their looks seeking these two plastic surgeons to help them become a new person through different surgical procedures. Some from fat to thin; some from short to tall; from a male to a female or vice versa; from flat nose to a sharp one; etc.

During the advertisement segment of that programme, I went to my parents' room where there is this big mirror in there. I decided to have a good look at myself.

I was just scrutinising my body as I looked at my reflection... yeah, I am fat; hairline receding; my nose is quite broad and a little fat; my face looks fierce when I do not smile; I have got a nasty scar on my forehead which is so obvious that when I was sent to the medium for some divine consultation, he said it was good to have that scar as it serves as a third eye so that I can see better and not fall again. Haha. This visitation was set up by my parents (who were then not Christians) after I fell and hit the same place on my forehead twice on different occasions. I was stitched up quite a bit. :)

After all the observations I made, I looked eye to eye with my reflection and asked this question, "So Andy, are you happy with yourself despite of all these physical 'flaws'?" My answer to that was a "Yes!"

Why should I not be happy? If God, who is perfect, has created me to look the way I am now, who am I (His creation) to tell Him that my looks are not up to standard? My receding hairline was hereditary - my dad has it, my grandpa had it and so did my great grandpa; my nose was flat since birth; I did not choose to have those scars on my forehead - because all babies had to learn to walk after reaching a certain age, he or she had to fall a couple of times first in order to learn the skill of walking. Just that I learnt to walk at a wrong place where there was a door frame; being fat, I admit, was my fault. I did not watch what I ate and hence the formula - what I eat = how I look. There was also these two years when I could not exercise because of my kidney ailment and that was when I ballooned drastcially; I cannot do much about my fierce look. I think that is why God always allows me to laugh and smile lots so that I do not scare people off too often. Haha. :)

Well, if I cannot accept myself as what I am, then I cannot accept God as the One who created me since I came into being. And if I cannot accept God as my Creator, then I will never be able to give Him full control of my life since I will take things into my own hands and have myself modified so that I can be pleased with myself.

Anyway, physical look is subjective. Some people may say, "Andy, you are like this, better to look like that." Then there will be others who may tell me, "Andy, you are like that, better to look like this."

Take my horizontally-challenged body, for example. When I was fat just before I was enlisted into army, some of my relatives and friends said that I needed to be thinner as I would look better. After I finished my 5-month Basic Military Training (for obese recruits) and having lost 17kg from a weight of 84kg, the same people told me it was better for me to be fatter because I looked like a bamboo stick and they prefered my teddy-bear frame. Hmmm..... ??? I was a confused young man, I must say. :)

I have learnt to praise God for what and who I am now. How others think of me may affect me sometimes but in the end, I will still give thanks to God and will only seek His approval and not that of man's.

Well, I pray in my pilgrim's journey ahead, I will continue to learn to accept myself and others as how God has created us to be. My human shortcomings may cause me to have prejudices but I pray God will help me see others with His eyes and not mine.

Will I look into the mirror and scrutinise myself again? Yes, I will. Haha! :)

Guess what? When I was looking at myself just now, I never knew I look like someone who is quite handsome. I think most of you would know him. Think hard.

How?

Any guesses?

Well, if you want to know, wait for my next blog then. :)

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."

Psalm 139:13-16

Do To Others As You Would Have Them Do To You

Finally I can catch a breather and take some time to write about a conversation that I overheard from two colleagues while I was having my breakfast at the cafeteria. My table was next to theirs and they were loud enough for me to listen to the topic discussed. I did not mean to eavesdrop though. This sparked some thoughts which I felt I should include them in todays' blog.

Well, they were talking about how one of their friends was recently diagnosed to have ovarian cancer. That friend is only 27 years old and she just had an engagement with her boyfriend in October last year.

The main part of that conversation was about how her fiance has decided to break up with her and apparently she is now in depression - over her cancer and the break-up. What a double blow it must have been for this lady. :(

What saddened me was the next remark made by one of the two colleagues. She said it is better for the break-up to happen because that friend with ovarian cancer is not healthy anymore and who knows next time, even if she recovers from this ordeal, whether there will be another recurrence.

I am disappointed and appalled by the comment made because it seemed to me that once someone is diagnosed to have a serious illness, he or she is now of a lower grade.

I used to suffer from kidney ailment and still have recurring stomach ulcers. This morning's encounter with the two ladies made me wonder how many people around me are thinking the same way as them. The worst thing was this - they are friends to the 27-year old lady. How can they say such a thing behind her back?

I was troubled by what I heard. After eating my sandwiches, I went up to the rooftop of my workplace to spend some time in prayer.

I asked the Lord whether am I a lower grade human because I was seriously ill before? I am also curious as to how many of my friends share the same thoughts as the two ladies in the cafeteria. I do not mean to doubt my friends but this incident has caused me to wonder.

Well, the peace I found was this - everyone has their opinions and I cannot control what they think or say. I should not be affected by their thoughts if my identity rests firmly in Christ alone. So long as I know the Lord loves and accepts me for whatever condition I am in (be it whether I am not as healthy as others or whether I am fat), that is more than comforting already. I also know that when I die and am with the Lord, the body I have now will be renewed and it will be one that is spotless.

A good start to the new week - I am thankful to God for allowing me to reflect on my identity in Him. :)

Though I have written the above-mentioned, I have to admit that today's encounter with the two ladies and the previous one with the other lady who called me "fat-shit" have shaken me a little as to how people would think of me. I guess it is human for me to feel insecure.

I pray that I myself will not be prejudiced against others which I have to confess that I do at times. If I am affected by what the two ladies spoke about, then I must also think of the people whom I sometimes spoke ill of. They too would be hurt.

In my journey ahead, I pray I will think before I speak lest I hurt my friend.

"Do to others as you would have them do to you." Luke 6:31

The Joy Is In The Giving

I played the drums this morning for the combined service in church. I was very sleepy and I was also affected that Liverpool lost to Arsenal 1 - 3. I was tired because the match was at 1:10am and the game ended at around 3am. By the time I slept it was 3:30am and I needed to wake up at 7am so that I could be in church by 8:30am.

It was foolish of me to stay up to watch the match when I knew I needed enough rest so that I would be alert when serving God.

Well, my lack of sleep did affect me when the Worship Team was rehearsing before the service commenced. I forgot what I did during the Friday's rehearsal. I was agitated when I could not recall and then I got affected when everyone else also could not remember. One thing added on to another and the next thing I knew, I was totally off tangent from God.

The ironic thing was this - during the prayer before the practice, I prayed that God will help every team member not to depend on our strength. And guess what I did after that? I depended on my own strength and because of that it frustrated me and affected others.

I think it was irresponsible of me to sleep late just so that I could watch my favourite team in action.

Though everything went well eventually during the service, I told the Lord to help me change my attitude in future when I am preparing for worship or service on Sundays.

I think it is only right that I have enough energy for Sundays so that I would be effective in all that I do. For that, in future I will not do anything or stay up past 12am on Saturdays - even if Liverpool plays a match past midnight.

I guess it is time to re-prioritise. If not, I will stumble others than to build them up.

So much for that. This afternoon I was also reminded of something else - when I give, do not expect to receive. I need to remember the joy is in the giving. Even though I am doing it for a brother or a sister, the attitude should first be me doing it for God. If I expect to receive all the time when I give then I would be disappointed many times over and it is pointless to be affected by that. Well, if someone appreciates what I do or give to him or her, then I will see that as a blessing but glory will go to God. :)

Well, it is time for me to sleep. Have to be at work by 7am.

Do not know what the new week holds for me - shall look forward to it no matter what. :)

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, 24since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving." Colossians 3:23-24

"Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work."

2 Corinthians 9:6-8

Persistence In Prayer

Both of my arms are sore. I did not write this on my Thursday's blog as I found the lesson I learnt during the late Aunty Suan's wake service more important and meaningful.

Anyway, the bus I was in that day met with an accident during a heavy downpour. I was on my way home to change my top as a dear friend whom I was with told me that the polo-tee I was wearing (which had red prints) was inappropriate for a wake service. I agreed with her and decided to change it as I did not want to be disrespectful to the late Aunty Suan and her family.

Anyway, the bus basically banged into a car in front that was trying to beat the red light but could not. When the driver of the car jammed the brakes, the bus could not react in time and the road being wet too, slammed into the back of the Toyota Corolla.

I saw the whole incident as I was sitting towards the front. When I knew the accident was imminent, I held on tightly to the handle of the seat before me. I guess the forward motion of the sudden jerk kind of strained the muscles of my arms. Initially it was okay but while I was playing the drums last night during the Worship Team Rehearsal, the sore came and till now, it is still there.

I praise the Lord nothing serious happened. No one was really injured except for some minor sprains. One lady, who was standing in the bus, fell during the collision but she was alright. Praise the Lord for that. :)

Anyway, this was not what I wanted to share for today's blog but thought I still do so as I am struggling a little as I type. :) Last week my legs were sore due to the run and this week, my arms are taking over the torture. Maybe next week it will be some other parts of my body. Haha. I hope not. :(

As I was saying, this morning I went for a run at the park opposite my home. It used to be Bidadari Christian Cemetery but all the graves have been exhumed and it is now a beautiful garden for runners like me and also the Gurkha soldiers who live near my place.

There was this funny incident where one of the soldiers thought I was one of them. Maybe because of my fierce look when I do not smile or perhaps I looked like one of his officers, he saluted me when he ran past me. I was quite amused by that and just smiled at him.

It was a good thing he did not stop to talk to me. Otherwise my identity would have been exposed and he probably would have killed me there and then with a twist of my neck, breaking the vertebrae. As most of us know, Gurkha soldiers are known for their ferorcity in battle - I am thankful to God that I was spared being used as a dummy for his unarmed combat practice. Phew!

Anyway, this is also not what I wanted to write. Sigh. Sorry to bring you round the world a couple of times before I actually share what I had initially planned to. :)

Alright, to the point! I always like to pray when I run. I do not pray aloud for two reasons: one I do not want the other runners like the Gurkha soldiers to think I am a mad man; and two I am not that fit to be able to pray verbally as I run because Mr Chew here was panting so badly that he could not even say a word of "hi" to the soldier who saluted him.

Anyway, I always pray in my heart during my run - submitting to God my petitions. Some of them are new while there are others which I have been praying for a long while already. Many have already been answered. Thanks be to God for that!

It was those that I have been praying for quite some time and have yet to be answered that reminded me of the Parable of the Persistent Widow found in Luke 18:1-8.

In fact this morning I asked God when He would answer those prayer items and I guess He wants me to continue to be persistent. I will do that because some of those requests are matters close to my heart - one of them being my brother's salvation. I believe strongly that the Lord will make all things beautiful in His time. :)

That said, I thank God for reminding me to press on in my prayers.

I think I have said enough for today's blog. Praise the Lord for today as I had a great time fellowshipping with God during the run; fellowshipping with my God-sister over lunch and shopping; and fellowshipping with my family over dinner.

Time now for the Liverpool vs Arsenal FA CUP Third Round match! Till I write again, may the Lord grant rest to one and all tonight!

"Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up. He said: "In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared about men. And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, 'Grant me justice against my adversary.' "For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, 'Even though I don't fear God or care about men, yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won't eventually wear me out with her coming!'" And the Lord said, "Listen to what the unjust judge says. 7And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?" Luke 18:1-8

Cherish Relationships

It has been a long day for me. I am now in church. I wanted to do something for my friends' wedding, which is in three weeks' time, but I realised I brought along the wrong thumb-drive. All the information I need is stored in the other drive.

Well, since I cannot do that, I shall update my blog for the day.

Earlier I attended the funeral of my friends' mum. I will write more on that as I go on. After the funeral, I had lunch with some friends who also attended the procession. Then I came to church and a while later, I met my accountability group for a time of catching up. In two hours' time, I have Worship Team rehearsal - this Sunday I am playing drums again. Praise the Lord for that! :)

Though the final send-off for my friends' mum was a sad moment for everyone, I also know they are assured that she is now with the Lord. It was wonderful to see how closely-knitted the family is and this showed me how important it is to maintain a close bond amongst family and friends.

Throughout the funeral, the word "relationship" kept surfacing. I was reminded how vital it is to cherish my relationship with family and friends. Many times I take them for granted and in some occasions, the relationship was strained due to my carelessness and insensitivity.

Well, I pray this new year will also be a time for me to strengthen and renew relationships that I have built. It is also a time to seek reconciliation and I pray God will humble and give me the courage to seek forgiveness if I have stumbled my family and friends in any way.

Why is it that suddenly this word "relationship" came to mind? Well I only live once here on earth and I do not know when I would die - if I do not cherish the relationships God has given me now, then I will never have the chance to do so anymore.

My family and friends that I have are blessings from God - I need to be a good steward for that. It is never easy to maintain or build relationships but they are also not impossible. I pray God will help me as I love everyone I hold dear to my heart.

I shall end here. I shall nap for a while before I go for the practice.

Thanks be to God for relationships!

"Therefore encourage one another and build each other up..."

1 Thessalonians 5:11a

In Order To Live, One Must Be Ready To Die

Tonight I attended a wake service of one of my dear friends' mother who passed away on New Year's Day. She is Rev Lai Kai Ming's mother-in-law and her name is Madam Ong Ah Suan. It was a touching session for all who attended especially the testimony shared by her son on how Aunty Suan (as she is affectionately known) lived her life since she accepted Jesus as her Lord and Saviour; how she remained cheerful and optimistic even though she was suffering from cancer and was told that she only had six months to live.

I do not really know why I titled today's blog as "In Order To Live, One Must Be Ready To Die." It came to mind when I got a lift home from one of my accountability group members. I will try as much as I can to share the thoughts that ran through my mind during the service and on my way home.

By the way, this statement was put across to me about 8 years ago by a close brother-in-Christ when I was diagnosed to have Acute Renal Failure. I kind of forgot about it till tonight when I heard about the way Aunty Suan lived her life.

I was down and discouraged when I was told that my left kidney was failing me and that the right one was also not doing too well. I was angry with God for letting this happened and the next few weeks after I got the report, I basically fell into depression and I just did not know what to do with my life anymore. Everything, then, seemed hopeless and meaningless.

A dear brother met up with me and one of the few questions he asked was this, "Andy, are you ready to die?" It sounded very insensitive of him to do so but as he explained further, that question was actually very valid.

He asked me whether Jesus is my Lord and Saviour and I told him Jesus is. whether by believing in Him, I have eternal life and I said I have; whether after I die, I will go to heaven and I said yes.

After I gave him all the answers, he told me that I should be ready to die since I am sure of my salvation. "Why then are you so sad and depressed and angry?" he asked. When I was on my own, reflecting on the conversation I had with my dear brother-in-Christ, it finally made sense that if I know where I am going after death which will be a place far better than life on earth, then I should not be discouraged that I am afflicted with a serious illness.

I should instead try to live my life on earth as best as I can because when it finally comes to an end, I would be ready to face a new life in heaven.

I think many times I do not know how to live because I forgot what death means to a Christian like me. "This world is not my home, I am just a passing through" - a song reminding me that my life here on earth is just a transit.

The doctor told Aunty Suan she had only six months left but instead she lived on for another 12 months. In the 18 months before she passed away, she knew clearly where she would be going and having that knowledge, she lived her life to the fullest and as normal as she could (despite of the pain she had to suffer from chemotherapy sessions and also having broken all four of her limbs). That touched many people around her.

Well, I shall end here. I hope I am making sense in sharing the above. Even if I am not, ponder on the statement - does it make sense? Food for thought. :)

"For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain." Philippians 1:21

Important! Check Your Battery Level Regularly

A couple of days ago my friend's car broke down. It was at the carpark when this happened. As he was starting the engine, there was a thud sound and everything went haywire - there was this constant clicking sound; his windows could not be wound down; his lights flickered; his gears could not be disengaged.

We started speculating what was the cause of it - we suspected it was the alternator which I was told is this device that distribute electricity throughout the car.

Anyway, my friend called the Automobile Association and 45 minutes later, the technician came. He inspected the engine, ran some tests and concluded that the battery has gone flat.

He jumpstarted the engine and true enough, everything went well. My friend had to change the battery on the spot and he paid S$220 for it.

When all was done, the car worked perfectly and everything went back to normal.

I guess this incident has taught me the importance to check my life's battery level. Many times I fail to inspect it and like my friend's car, it will break down eventually. Everything in and about me will go haywire - a lot of noises will begin to sound off; the light will start to dim or flicker; the mechanism in me will not be disengaged. Slowly, all system will break down. Eventually I will fall away from God; my relationship with family and friends will become strained; my service and ministries in church will become a chore and my life will begin to stumble rather than build up the Body of Christ.

I am thankful to God for showing me this lesson. I will check my battery level regularly. I pray I will not fall into a state where in the end I need the Technician (God) to jumpstart me. But this is a comforting reminder to me as well that should my life fall into a state where everything breaks down because I did not take the effort to review my life regularly, I know God will always be there, ready to start me off again when I cry out to Him.

It is always not hopeless should we fall into that rut. Praise be to God for His faithfulness in our lives though many times we are unfaithful to Him.

Have this RED label pasted in your mind - IMPORTANT! CHECK YOUR BATTERY LEVEL REGULARLY

"Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:1-2

Spiritual Conditioning

My thighs are very tense now - both yesterday and today I ran a total of about 16km. Suddenly I felt like running. Sounds like Forrest Gump. :)

I had trouble going down the stairs these two days as my legs felt as if there were weights attached to them. Whenever I want to sit, I had to throw my butt onto the chair because I could not control the muscles around my thighs. I was all ready for the chair to collapse because of the immense force applied to it each time I attempted to sit. Quite amusing, I must say. :)

Anyway, while I was running God reminded me of the verse from Philippians 3:14. I have not been exercising as regularly as I should in the past two months. My knees were giving me problems and I was also busy with ministries and projects at church.

A couple of times as I covered the routes, I felt like giving up - yesterday I had to stop here and there because I felt a sharp pain where my right rib-cage is; today I stopped more than yesterday because my rib-cage still hurt and my legs felt very heavy. My mental stamina was also weak.

One lesson I learnt about running which can be applied in my walk with God is this - my spiritual journey needs to be constantly conditioned like that of a runner. If he stops for a period, he had to start all over again to get into form. Likewise for my spiritual journey, I need to consistently keep in touch with God daily to grow in Him. If not, the momentum will not be there. Then the temptation to be lazy sets in and as time goes by I will become complacent. When God takes second place because of my ill-disciplines, everything else of the world takes His position and slowly He pales away in my life. I pray this will not happen.

The other lesson I learnt is perseverance. The thought of having to run 8km scared the wits out of me. I became anxious and at times I complained as to why I was so stupid to put my body through all these rigorous trainings when I could have just spent that one hour or so in a restaurant eating Xiao Long Baos, steaks, lagsane, pork knucles, etc. Hmmm... yumz!!! Oops, side-tracked for a moment. Sorry.

As I was saying... as I ran on, I wondered how long more before I was able to see the finishing point. I have to confess that there were several moments when I just wanted to give up and take a slow walk back but I decided to press on. I cried out to God to help me endure and in many occasions He gave me the extra boost and I was able to go on and reach the end point. It sure felt good when that happens.

I guess in my walk with God and in my pilgrim's journey this year which still has 363 days to go, I need to press on when the going gets tough. I need God to run ahead to show me the way; beside me to cheer me on; behind me to support me should I collapse and in me to give me the strength to go on. I have to admit I will fall along the way because of my human-ness but I hope to practice perseverance. I do not wish to lose my momentum in my spiritual race because it is just so dangerous to fall into the trap of complacency.

One more lesson I learnt got to do with the pain which I am now experiencing. As of all physical trainings, pain is part and parcel of the regime. If one can overcome the pain barrier at the initial stage because the body has yet to be conditioned properly, then what comes after that is the ability to push the body to go further and the pain would just vanish as it progresses.

It goes the same for my walk. If I can just overcome the inertia and endure the initial pain in reading God's Word and in praying daily, then as it goes along, it becomes so much a part of me that I do not have to struggle much anymore. In fact, when I get to know God even deeper, then the desire to want to do more for Him and to allow Him to use me at a greater capacity would be a natural response on my part.

It also helps me to stand firmer when I am blasted with the lures of the world because the muscles around my legs would have been better-developed and I would be stronger to fight on.

Well, just talking about the above-mentioned would be pointless. I guess it is time to start my spiritual exercising. May God be my personal trainer - some say He is the best in Singapore, JB and even Batam ah! To me I think He is the best in the world! :)

I shall report on my pilgrim's progress as the journey goes on.

For now, it is time to break chairs as I sit down because I really cannot control myself to do so gently. :)

"I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:14

"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air." 1 Corinthians 9:24-26