Christians Unite!

On my way home in the bus, my heart became very burden for churches everywhere in the world. This pain and burden came upon me when I was sharing with my sister about how certain churches are struggling. When I was sharing that, deep in my heart there was this deep passion for God's people and also certain anger I feel towards them as in how sometimes we Christians are the ones who are bringing downfall upon the churches by squabbling amongst ourselves, rather than building each other up; by rationalising too much, using our human wisdom and understanding to deal with problems rather than going on our knees and pray; by having too many programmes to do church; and by leaving weaker churches in a lurch rather than helping them back on track again.

Sometimes I wish and pray that God will unite all Christians, regardless of denominations, to come together and work as one! Basically to function as a BODY OF CHRIST! I think He wants that but it is the Christians, because of spiritual pride (whether they think they are right or wrong), who are the ones who do not desire for that to happen.

How nice it is if one church can share with another their joys and pains! How marvelous it is if churches can pray for one another than to waste energy by pinpointing the mistakes of another! My apologies if suddenly there is still strong feeling in what I share. My objective is that we begin by interceding for one another; to love one another; to walk with one another; and to work together in the Great Commission that God has given to all believers. Only when we can work towards that that Christ will be made known!

That's my take when I was spending time praying in the bus.

Well, I've let it out... for those who agree with what I've shared, pray with me; for those who disagree, still pray with me because we need to cover every brother and sister, every church in this world in prayer as we continue with our pilgrim's journey.

"I appeal to you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another so that there may be no divisions among you and that you may be perfectly united in mind and thought." 1 Corinthians 9:10

"And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep onpraying for all the saints." Ephesians 6:18

"Now the body is not made up of one part but of many. If the foot should say, "Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. And if the ear should say, "Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body. The eye cannot say to the hand, "I don't need you!" And the head cannot say to the feet, "I don't need you!" On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has combined the members of the body and has given greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it. Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it." 1 Corinthians 12:14-27

Desiring For More Of God!

This afternoon I suddenly felt this stagnation in my walk with the Lord and there is this dissatisfaction in me - basically that desire of wanting to know more of God in my life. There are several reasons to this emptiness I am experiencing:-

1) I feel that I have not been reading as much as I should the Word of God. Basically these questions popped up - how would I know the will of God in my life if I am not reading His Word? How would I discern what is right and wrong if His Word is not the lamp unto my feet and the light unto my path?

2) I have also lost the discipline of being quiet. Basically to be still and know that He is God! Many times when I am faced with the struggles of life, the reaction is to deal with them using my own wisdom and understanding. There were also occasions when I just wanted quick solutions. Then came the question - why not just take a step back, put that particular struggle aside, go somewhere quiet and be still? I used to do that very often even when I was busy to go to the breakwaters of certain beaches or to a reservoir and be still.

3) I have been praying daily but I guess my prayers are loads of requests asking God to do this and that but I guess prayers can also be asking God to help me say no to certain desires in my life. That is why certain questions keep hitting me - have I been praying in accordance to God's will? Have I been willing to wait and let God make all things beautiful in His time and not mine?

4) I used to sing songs of praise to God daily even when I was feeling down but I have stopped doing that regularly - if I do not practice giving praise to God at all times, then how would I ever be thankful regardless of the circumstances I am in?

5) I also miss meeting with a group of siblings-in-Christ in a cell group environment - basically to practice certain Christian disciplines of praising, studying God's Word, praying and fellowshipping.

6) Lastly I have been missing worship services quite regularly sometimes citing excuses that it does not meet my needs and that the whole flow was basically mechanical - basically going through the motion. But I guess the question here is this - if coming together on Sundays is to celebrate the discipline of corporate worship, then I should still go but at the same time, feedback to the pastors and leadership about certain observations I have of the service. Only by doing so will we be able to seek God and work together in enhancing the worship atmosphere of the church.

Well, this holy week will be set aside for me to wrestle with God on the above-mentioned. If I call myself a child of God, then I should desire the heart of my Father and look up to Him for directions? If not, this relationship is not authentic at all. If not, I will not be able to testify of His goodness to many who have yet to know Him? If I want Jesus to be made known, then I have to know Him first!

Having been off tangent for a while, my view of life and towards people have been quite negative. Two days ago my sister pointed out to me the heavy tone I used when speaking to my parents. She encouraged to change that.

I am thankful to my sister for pointing that out to me. This is precisely the result of my spiritual state and I am not happy with it!

"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." Matthew 6:33

A Thankless And Frustrating Task

My chest feels kind of tight since this evening when I was at Orchard Road. It has not been a good day for me.

When I was at home, I reminded grandma to turn off the tap while she was cooking. It has happened many times. When she heard my comment, she took offense of it and remarked that she might as well not cook for the family. I tried to control myself but when she ranted on, I reminded her that she need not prepare meals for the family since lately she has not been well.

As I did not want to blow up the matter further, I just left the house.

It did not help the situation when an appointment I had for the evening was cancelled. That frustrated me even more. In fact I was waiting for a confirmation the whole day as to where and when the appointment would be. I even cancelled another appointment just so I could go for this particular one.

I don't know... sometimes I feel tired sparing a thought for others but what I get in return is something negative. It sounds like a very "me, myself and I" mentality but it has reached a point where I wonder should I even care at all.

Anyway, I spent some time in quiet with God at Fort Canning Hill but left for home to rest as I felt unwell.

I thought what I resolved to do when I was in London could be practised when I got back but I guess it is easier said than done. I hope God will help me to press on.

Time Spent With God Is No Time Wasted At All

It will be a matter of a few more days and I will be back to sunny and humid Singapore. As much as I do not want to go back as I prefer the cold climate than hot, I guess I have to face the fact and gear myself up for home.

I also realised going on holidays gives one this unreal sense of being free from all cares and worries. It just makes one not looking forward to going back to the real world when the vacation nears its end.

I am feeling that now because I know when I go home, it is back to taking care of my parents and grandma's needs, handling the loads of issues concerning the ministries I am serving in church, worrying about the expenses of the family, etc.

Anyway, I had a good time spent with God on these burdens when I was strolling in Kensington Garden for two hours in the morning. It was very cold but I enjoyed every minute spent communing with my Master and allowing Him to just speak words of assurance that everything is going to be alright when I go back.

The past few months I have been depending a lot on my own strength dealing with matters at home and it has taken a toll on me physically, emotionally, mentally and even spiritually. This morning's devotion with God at the park reminded me of those times when I would go to the beach or reservoir to just be still before the Lord. I guess I will do more of that when I am in Singapore.

Well, that is all my thoughts for today.

I am very much refreshed. Praise the Lord!

Hello From Chilly London!

It is 9.15pm here. After 4 days here in London, I thought I jot down some thoughts. The weather has been cold, temperature ranging between 1 to 10 degrees Celsius. On Friday when I arrived it was raining and it was the same the next day. Yesterday was the crossover from winter to spring. Apparently spring came early as it was initially scheduled to arrive in mid-March. The past two days have been sunny but it was still freezing.

I love the weather here. The thought of having to go back to Singapore in the sweltering heat just saddens me. My sister told me that the temperature back home has heat a high of 35 degrees Celsius. That is scary!

Anyway, God has been good throughout the trip. The flight went well though it was long. I almost died of boredom towards the last leg. In the plane, I was a little concerned as to whether the match tickets between Liverpool and Blackburn would arrive at the hotel in time or at all. During check-in, I enquired and praise the Lord they were delivered to the front-desk.

It was off to Liverpool on Sunday morning. I decided to go early as I wanted to see a little of the city centre. Then it was off to Anfield Stadium. I wanted to buy some souvenirs from the shop but as it was match-day, the place was crowded. In the end I did not buy any.

It feels good to be back at Anfield watching the Reds play. The last time I watched them 'live' was back in 1998 when I was studying in Cambridge. Then it was against Manchester United which I paid a bomb!!! 300 pounds and the exchange rate was a whopping 3.1!!!

The match was alright - it was not as exciting but it still felt good to be in the stadium. Haha. My friend and I left early as he needed to be back in London as he has an appointment with his course superviser in the morning. Anyway, glad the Reds won 2-1 and it was both nice goals - each from Steven Gerrard and Fernando Torres.

The past two days have been a good time spent on my own and also with the Lord. I basically did photography - taking pictures of Big Ben, the Parliament House, Westminster Abbey, the London Eye, the River Thames, Buckingham Palace and Green Park where I did some nature photography.

At Buckingham Palace there was an incident where this guy who seemed to be a tourist decided to climb on this pillar of one of the gates which is about three-storey high. He seemed to be troubled as he tore what seemed to be a letter. Then two police cars arrived. The man was instructed to come down. While he was attempting to do so through a hole in the statue, he got stuck for about 15 minute. He decided to try again by slipping through his clothes and he was successful but this was where many and I feared he may lose balance and fall off the pillar. Thank God nothing happened. Three fire engines came and with the aid of a ladder the man was down. By then there were four fire engines and six police cars.

Anyway, while I was in the park walking I prayed for my loved ones especially my family back home. It is so weird that when I was with them, I wanted to be away from them but now that I am here in London, I miss them loads. God spoke to me about how I should continue to bear with my parents and grandma though they are now not as healthy as before and because of this they have become sort of an inconvenience for my brother and I.

It is precisely this attitude that I need to repent from because there should not be any entertainment of thoughts that my parents and grandma should ever be seen as inconveniences because God has given us each other for a reason and that is to bear with each other no matter how tough the going may be.

It was a selfish thought on my part to have behaved that way - that was why I was so frustrated and angry. It is easy to write the above thoughts but I will try to change my attitude so as to obey God and also to build my family.

I went to Cambridge this morning and I was there till the late afternoon. I wanted to see whether the university town has changed after 12 years. Well, most looked the same though certain landmarks like King's College is going through some upgrading.

I visited Trinity College and managed to meet some teaching staff whom I got to know during my stint back in 1998. I am surprised some of them could still recognise me. Haha. Probably now I am much rounder. Talk about that, I think I have put on quite a bit since arriving. I have been eating more and drinking more carbonated drinks. Maybe it is because the weather has been cold but I guess I can exercise more discipline and control my diet.

When I was walking along the streets of Cambridge and also while I was at Duxford Imperial War Museum, I gave some thoughts to my desire to serve as a missionary in Camboda. I do not know exactly why but in my heart I just feel that I am not ready. Maybe it is because of my concerns for my family especially my ailing parents and grandma. With my brother getting married some time this year and moving out of the family, this adds on to the concern.

Anyway, I shall continue to seek the Lord on this as I continue to spend time with Him the next few days.

Okie, I shall stop here. I am tired.

I will write more when I have the chance to.

Good morning to all back in Singapore and good night London!