Still Walking With My Heavenly Father

Wow! This is my third year blogging and today's sharing will be my 600th. Since the first blog I wrote on 12 November 2006, I have been sharing about the ups and downs of my pilgrim's journey here on earth. Of late, I have not been as regular as I should in jotting down my thoughts but I shall not be pressured to think that I am slowly giving up this practice.

I admit that I am losing steam because the past few months have been trying for me in all areas - physically, emotionally, mentally and to a certain extent, spiritually. I guess that is what this blog-site is about, isn't it? Being realistic and honest that one's life journey will never be smooth. As much as that is true, my objective in sharing my thoughts is to allow those who read my blogs to be reminded that our troddings need not be a lonely one but to have God and like-minded friends to walk with you.

Haha. That is why I support Liverpool. I love their motto - "You'll Never Walk Alone." Okie, I shall not go too much into that lest I go out of control which I can be when cheering for the Reds!

As I write the above-mentioned, all I can say as I look forward to the future, which to me is always a mystery and full of surprises, is this - I will journey through life joyfully. Of course that does not mean you will always see me smiling but I will not let valleys and mountains along the way to stop me from pressing on.

I guess going down the valleys occasionally will help me look up and be reminded that my God is there to pick me up. As for going up the mountains, may I be just a little closer to heaven and use those moments to be refreshed by looking across the horizon and be mindful that I should not be boxed up by the troubles of life and fail to see what's around me. :)

Well, this week so far has been a fruitful and productive one. One thing which I have been procrastinating for a while is finally done - that is updating the Missions Ministry's Notice Board. I did a feature of the Children's Ministry's mission trip back in December 2008. Though it is three months overdue but I think it will still speak to those who read the testimonies of most of the team members especially the children who went! It is my prayer that as more read the board, they will be challenged and encouraged to go into the harvest fields and bless the lives who are already there and also the people in those lands.

I also praise God for the Missions Committee. We have met twice this month to deliberate on matters concerning the ministry. I am very encouraged by the enthusiasm of every member. That definitely excites me in wanting to do more for God, church and also those whom we are reaching out to. I am also happy that more in the church are expressing their desires to partner the Committee in living out the Great Commission. Hallelujah! :)

Okie, I am tired. I shall go sleep now and look forward to the weekends ahead!

To God be the glory! :)

“My salvation and my honor depend on God ; he is my mighty rock, my refuge.” Psalm 62:7

"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. All of us who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. 16Only let us live up to what we have already attained." Philippians 3:12-15

"Though I am free and belong to no man, I make myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible. To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law. To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God's law but am under Christ's law), so as to win those not having the law. To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings. Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize." 1 Corinthians 9:19-27

The Sting Of Death?

One of the rare Sundays when I am at home blogging at this time. I am still recovering from a flu and it just got worst again after coming home from church. I started sneezing and my nose has been flowing like an opened tap since.

I told myself I should sleep early tonight but I cannot! For the sake of my favourite soccer team which will be playing later - kick-off at midnight. Haha. I know it is crazy to stay up to watch the game but even if I try to sleep, I will not be able to. :(

It is even more exciting to know that Liverpool can close the gap today with Manchester United after the Red Devils lost their game last night. Chelsea also lost. I am just hoping the Reds will not fumble later. I will probably die of a heart attack should that happen. :)

Anyway I wanted to blog yesterday but something was wrong with the blogspot website. I wanted to share about an exercise I took in Facebook which supposedly could predict my death. After answering a few questions, I have been informed that I will die on 29 February 2016.

Wow! That is less than 7 years from now. When I saw the date, frankly I was not disturbed by it. In fact, if I really know when I would die, I would definitely look forward to it. Why? Simply from the words of this old song..."This world is not my home, I'm just passing through..." I would rather be in heaven than be on this earth where there are so much pain and sufferings.

This morning when I was at the service, I was further challenged by the inscriptions on a tombstone which my pastor read to the congregation about a missionary - "When he came there was no light; when he left there was no darkness." I would like to also be known that way but to work towards that, I have to start now.

Well, even as I write, I am encouraged by two siblings-in-Christ who shared with me that they want to be involved in missions - one is from my church and the other from another church. It is my prayer for both myself and other fellow believers that we will bring light to places where there are darkness.

So, whether I would die in 6 plus years' time, I am not perturbed by it! Bring it on, I say, for death has no sting on me!

Anyway, for now I will work on building a deeper relationship with God and live a life pleasing in His sight and edifying to those around me. It is not easy but I shall persevere, God be my help. :)

I shall end here for now.

Have a blessed week ahead!

"Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?" The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain." 1 Corinthians 15:55-58

Responding To The Call

I had wanted to blog yesterday but after arriving from Cambodia, I started sniffing and coughing. When evening arrived, I also had a slight fever. I basically slept early and am better now though still a little lethargic.

I had to get some work done - endured through the constant blowing of my nose. I have been drinking lots of water, taking flu tablets and also lozenges as I could feel the sore throat coming.

It is amazing how God sustained me through the three days in Cambodia. On Friday night, I was also unwell - my left arm was numb and I was a bit worried that it could be a stroke. I asked my sister whether my speech was slurred and my left face muscles drooping but she said they were okay. Phew! Praise God!

I was a bit anxious as I have never felt this numbness before. I messaged my accountability group members and some close friends to intercede for me. On Sunday I felt the flu coming as I was sneezing constantly but it was gone by noon.

Anyway, that aside. I enjoyed the time spent in Phnom Penh especially the fellowship I had with the missionaries sent by my church. They have been my friends since our youth and still maintaining communications after so long and being so far away is very much cherished!

My Missions Committee members and I also had a fruitful time of discussion with the District Superintendant overseeing the sister-church we are supporting. I am glad things are beginning to be in place regarding the future of this Khmer-church which I have been burdened for since I became the chairperson of the Missions Committee.

I also praise God for the time spent with my Khmer siblings-in-Christ when my team worshipped at their church. Though we only meet once or twice a year, the bond has already been established and we could just carry on from where we left off and encouraging one another in the faith as we interacted.

I am especially blest to hear from one of the missionaries that my sister-church is experiencing a revival. It is my prayer that the Holy Spirit will sweep through the church and cause the members to grow in leaps and bounds in their walk and also in reaching out to their neighbours

I was especially touched when an invitation was made to one of my Committee members and I by a leader of the sister-church to attend his daughter's wedding. Initially we were unsure whether we could make it but in the end I felt that it is important and essential to be there to show this dear brother-in-Christ that we care and cherish this relationship with him. He was so happy to see us when we arrived at the ceremony that he embraced us!

Attending the Khmer wedding ceremony and banquet was an eye-opener for me as I have never witnessed one. I have seen it on YouTube but that was it. Though very long and elaborate, I enjoyed the time.

Oh yah, after the service on Sunday, we went to one of the members' home to pray for his mother-in-law who is very sick and now bedridden. We prayed together with her though we did not know whether she has embraced Jesus as her Lord and Saviour. Though she could not speak, she gestured in a manner where we could tell she was thankful for our visit. I hope God will have mercy on this dear individual.

During this trip, I made two new friends - one from Hong Kong and the other from Singapore. I met this the new-found friend from Hong Kong when my team were having lunch at a hawker centre in Russian market. She has been travelling alone - going to Malaysia and then Cambodia and now back in Malaysia before heading for India. Anyway, we interacted with her as we ate. I was happy when she said that she is a fellow sister-in-Christ. One of my Committee members persuaded this sister to visit Singapore and we could be her host. She said she would consider.

The other friend I got to know is from another Methodist Church in Singapore. She is also in the Missions Committee of her church. She is still in Cambodia on a work-trip. Being able to fellowship with individuals like her assured me that there are Christians still responding to the call of Jesus in living out the Great Commission. It is my prayer that every Christian will see that he/she is a part of this call and not just some.

Well, I have been to Cambodia more than 20 times since Year 2000 and never once am I tired of this country which God has called my church to. In fact, this trip has stirred in my heart whether I should serve God and the Khmer-people for a period of time. I am still seeking and hopefully God will show me further this prompting.

Time to stop here and for me to sleep early to continue the process of recuperation.

All glory to God for a wonderful and fruitful trip!

"Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." Matthew 28:19-20

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." James 1:27

The Presence Of God

As I am writing, my nose is sniffing. I think I have caught a cold after being caught in the rain. I am trying to pump Vitamin Cs to counter it. I pray that I will be well soon as I will be going to Cambodia with two other Missions Committee members on a work-trip.

I am looking forward to this trip to catch up with my church's missionaries and also the missions organisations we are supporting.

It will be a short trip of just three days from Saturday to Monday but I think they are enough to achieve the objectives. I am praying that God will go ahead of us and prepare the way and may He give the three of us discernment and wisdom as we mull over a few matters concerning the ministry.

Personally, this trip will do me good as well - to just be away from the routines of the Singapore lifestyle and breathe in a refreshing air of just living simply as would the Khmer people. Trips to Cambodia always cause me to reflect and be thankful that though there are worries back home, every human being elsewhere has their struggles too.

Sometimes I may think that my troubles are the worst of them all but when I see in person the hardship that other people face, my concerns pale in comparison to theirs.

Well, I am looking forward to what God has in store for me.

Oh yah, I have a dear friend, who knows of the struggles I am facing lately at home, asking me whether life is still not bad since the going has been tough. Sometimes I have to confess it is bad but I guess it is also relative - if I fight the struggles alone, of course the going is tough but if I choose to include God in the picture, then surely the tough gets going.

Well, I am trying to keep this in mind and be conscious of the presence of God in my life.

I shall stop here and go blow my nose.

Good night and have a blessed week ahead!

"I can do everything through him who gives me strength." Philippians 4:13

Hide Me, Lord!

Yesterday was the peak of my frustration, stress and burden for having to handle matters concerning home. I felt like screaming; I felt like running away from home (yes, at this age of mine) as I felt very choked up; I felt like blinking all my worries and concerns away.

I went out to catch a breather and while I was in the train I messaged my accountability group members and some close friends to pray for me.

Physically I felt unwell too - my tummy was churning, my left shoulder was aching and my chest was tight. I will not be surprised if one day I will be a stroke patient myself.

What led to the above-mentioned was just how sometimes grandma gets too overly concerned for mum. I am not saying that is bad but overdoing it can get on people's nerves.

Naturally mum is still weak as she is recovering and there grandma keeps pestering me to bring her to see the Chinese physician, citing reasons like since Western medication does not help, perhaps Chinese medication would.

Then she kept asking mum whether she is hungry and that she should drink more plain water than fizzy drinks (which she has not since being discharged); she then went on to ask mum to drink some herbal tea which I felt must be consumed in moderation and not all the time.

What caused me to explode was when mum was sleeping/resting, grandma went to her room and asked her how come she has been sleeping so much and whether she is really alright.

I had to say something here but out of my frustrations, I was insensitive to grandma's feeling by asking her to just leave mum alone. I even made a comment which I knew I should not say but I just could not control at that point of time - that was reminding her of all the curses she used on mum when they were quarrelling in the past and now that she is sick, what is the point of showing so much concern!

Well, going out for a while brought my senses back! I just pray that the Lord will sustain me for as long as possible - sometimes I just feel like giving up. That is the easiest way out but I know I cannot since this is the reality of life and perhaps a point in my pilgrim's journey which I need to trod harder.

This is not a good period for me, I have to say. I pray I will learn something from here which can turn my weaknesses to strengths so that I can cope better when I face another crisis.

With regards to yesterday's struggle, I am still reflecting as to what could I have done better where instead of putting grandma down, I could have affirmed her.

"I spread out my hands to you; my soul thirsts for you like a parched land. Answer me quickly, O LORD; my spirit fails. Do not hide your face from me or I will be like those who go down to the pit. Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul." Psalm 143:6-8

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9