Dad was admitted into hospital this afternoon for stroke. For a man who has never stayed in hospital all his life, being a first came as a surprise to all at home especially when he has been in the pink of health for most of his 76 years except for a short period when he was diagnosed to have mild diabetes, which happened many years ago. This also happened quite suddenly.
He was on his way to church with mum when his legs just lost control and he fell in the bus. This was not the first time as he had experienced that last night - he could not get up after being on the sofa. He managed to after a while but while he was trying to carry my doggy, he fell. He seemed ok before he went to sleep. This morning before I left for church, he looked fine too.
Anyway, my cousin went to pick mum and dad up where the incident happened and I told him to bring dad to the Accident and Emergency Department though dad was adamant that he did not want to. I was told he even shouted at mum for insisting.
I rushed with my sister to Tan Tock Seng Hospital and when my cousin's car arrived, dad could not even alight on his own. His legs were like jelly and I had to carry him out and place him on a wheelchair.
The doctor ran some initial tests and found that his sugar level and blood pressure were high. Dad's right side of the body was affected. A CT scan was also done but could not find any clots. Praise God for that! The medical staff tried to do a MRI but while dad was in the chamber he got so scared that he asked to be brought out. The test was cancelled.
I just received a call from dad - he said he is unable to sleep. I guess it is natural especially in a place he kind of dread to go since he has been there so often when he was taking care of mum while she was recovering from her stroke.
Anyway, I felt super discouraged when I was told of dad's condition in the morning when I got a call from mum. I am still in the midst of recovering from my tiredness when now I have to deal again with another health issue of another family member. I was hoping I will never have to visit a hospital again but I guess not. For a moment I felt angry!
In the evening I spent some time with God and surrendered dad's health to Him. In a moment of silence, God told me this incident is not about me. I guess that was a timely message because this incident is definitely not about me but dad. Yes, it is an inconvenience for me but at the end of it all, it is about dad.
When I was able to grasp that fact, I realised I needed to let go and allow God to do the healing work on my dad in His time. I also told the Lord to use me as a vessel of peace and encouragement to dad. He needs all these now rather than me falling into a state of self-pity and anger. No point wasting my energy on these when it can be channelled to something good for dad.
It was a good time spent as it helped change my perspective.
I am also grateful to the many siblings-in-Christ who have been supporting dad in prayers.
Anyway, I shall end here and get some sleep now. A new day awaits tomorrow and I know God's mercies are new every morning.
"Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him." The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him..." Lamentations 3:22-25
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