Three Deaths and An Accident

In one day I encountered three cases of death and one major accident involving a warehouse fire.

While I was walking towards the community centre in my estate, I saw a pair of legs sticking out of a police make-shift tent. When I asked one of the passers-by what had happened, I was told that man had a heart attack and died on the spot.

Then when I was in the bus on my way to the hospital to visit dad, I witness a warehouse fire along Upper Serangoon Road. There were several fire engines and ambulances at the scene. I just hope there were no fatalities or serious injuries.

Next was when I arrived at the ward where dad is. I noticed the bed on his left was totally empty (mattress and pillows all removed). Dad told me that the patient passed away in the middle of last night. I have been talking to his family members for the past few days and once in a while I would pray for the elderly patient.

In the afternoon while I was running some errands, I received an email from a dear English missionary to Cambodia informing me that her father had just passed away and the cremation was just two days ago.

Wow! Too many sad news to handle in one day. Once again I was reminded of how fleeting life can be.

Anyway, I just pray that God will bring comfort to the families of these individuals who have passed on. May their hearts be healed in His time.

Dad may be discharged tomorrow. It is not the suggestion of the doctors but dad's. As this is his first time being warded, I guess the death of the patient next to him and the sound of all the equipment around him are just too much for him. It is not confirmed yet that dad can come home. The doctor will inform me tomorrow when he looks at the report of dad's progress.

Well, dad is generally much better compared to the day he was sent to the Accident and Emergency Department. He is now experiencing a very sore throat. His physio-therapist is pleased with his mobility though he still has to be careful when he moves from one spot to another.

My honest opinion is that dad should remain in the hospital for a few more days but if he is unable to rest well because of the surroundings, then I guess it is better to be home. I just have to prepare myself to ensure that he is able to cope well at home without medical care by the professionals.

I should stop here as I am tired. I have been feeling this way the past few days already. Thanks be to God for sustaining the family and I! He is good all the time!!!

Good night, everyone! :)

His Mercies Are New Every Morning

Dad was admitted into hospital this afternoon for stroke. For a man who has never stayed in hospital all his life, being a first came as a surprise to all at home especially when he has been in the pink of health for most of his 76 years except for a short period when he was diagnosed to have mild diabetes, which happened many years ago. This also happened quite suddenly.

He was on his way to church with mum when his legs just lost control and he fell in the bus. This was not the first time as he had experienced that last night - he could not get up after being on the sofa. He managed to after a while but while he was trying to carry my doggy, he fell. He seemed ok before he went to sleep. This morning before I left for church, he looked fine too.

Anyway, my cousin went to pick mum and dad up where the incident happened and I told him to bring dad to the Accident and Emergency Department though dad was adamant that he did not want to. I was told he even shouted at mum for insisting.

I rushed with my sister to Tan Tock Seng Hospital and when my cousin's car arrived, dad could not even alight on his own. His legs were like jelly and I had to carry him out and place him on a wheelchair.

The doctor ran some initial tests and found that his sugar level and blood pressure were high. Dad's right side of the body was affected. A CT scan was also done but could not find any clots. Praise God for that! The medical staff tried to do a MRI but while dad was in the chamber he got so scared that he asked to be brought out. The test was cancelled.

I just received a call from dad - he said he is unable to sleep. I guess it is natural especially in a place he kind of dread to go since he has been there so often when he was taking care of mum while she was recovering from her stroke.

Anyway, I felt super discouraged when I was told of dad's condition in the morning when I got a call from mum. I am still in the midst of recovering from my tiredness when now I have to deal again with another health issue of another family member. I was hoping I will never have to visit a hospital again but I guess not. For a moment I felt angry!

In the evening I spent some time with God and surrendered dad's health to Him. In a moment of silence, God told me this incident is not about me. I guess that was a timely message because this incident is definitely not about me but dad. Yes, it is an inconvenience for me but at the end of it all, it is about dad.

When I was able to grasp that fact, I realised I needed to let go and allow God to do the healing work on my dad in His time. I also told the Lord to use me as a vessel of peace and encouragement to dad. He needs all these now rather than me falling into a state of self-pity and anger. No point wasting my energy on these when it can be channelled to something good for dad.

It was a good time spent as it helped change my perspective.

I am also grateful to the many siblings-in-Christ who have been supporting dad in prayers.

Anyway, I shall end here and get some sleep now. A new day awaits tomorrow and I know God's mercies are new every morning.

"Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him." The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him..." Lamentations 3:22-25

Heal The Sick

Towards the late afternoon, I went to Chinatown to buy some toiletries from a shop which mum and I have patronised for years. As I was waiting for the lift, I noticed an elderly woman seated at a bench in the hawker centre. What caught my attention was not her dozing off but her pair of legs. It was so swollen that the size is three times that of a pair of healthy legs.

My heart went out to her and as the lift door closed, I said a prayer of healing for the lady.

I am sharing this because as I am blogging this encounter, channel 8 is featuring a documentary and guess what? It is about the lady.

Apparently she had a fall two years ago and was hospitalised. When she was discharged, apparently she did not take her medication proper. That led to infection of the legs where the swell is due to the accumulation of pus. To make matters worse, the pus oozes out as she walks and it leaves a foul smell.

The documentary also featured her home which the lady refused to let the television crew in as the place was very messy. The neighbours whom the presenter spoke to complained about the smell diffusing from the lady's home and said that the authorities have offered her medical help but she refused.

I do not know whether is it because the lady is too poor to seek medical treatment or she is simply just being stubborn but I pray God will provide a way for the lady.

I think I will try to strike a conversation with her the next time I see her. I am sure there is a reason why God allowed me to encounter her twice in a day.

Anyway, please keep her in your prayers. I cannot remember the name of the lady. I believe God will bring healing. :)

Refresh Me, O God!

I just realised this is my first blog for 2010. Well, sad to say, I have to start it off with a news not that encouraging - I am tired, in all sense of the word. It is just so weird to have to confess this especially when it is only 11 days into the new year.

Eversince I came back from the mission trip last month, I have not been able to rest. I have to nurse a very bad tummy which took almost two weeks to heal. I am sick again and it happened last Thursday. I was down with initially a fever, then the flu... now I still have the flu (worse than before) and on top of that, sore throat and cough.

I really want a break as in perhaps going somewhere far away to just refresh myself (I realised I have not done so for more than three years already) but looking at the number of commitments I have to deal with, I do not know where I can find a slot to do so. Everyone and everything seem to be crying out for my attention.

It comes to a point where I just feel like exploding. In fact, the past few weeks, there were already signs of my exhaustion but I ignored them - I have been feeling frustrated; I have been complaining; I have been judging... today reaches a point where I just cannot take it anymore.

I had to deal with a situation pertaining to my ministry. To me, it was a straight-forward matter but along the way, the issue got worse. When I got a call to ask me to speak to a particular leader direct, I did and my tone was not gracious at all. When I have composed myself, I will find an opportunity to seek forgiveness from the brother-in-Christ.

Yesterday I was rostered to lead in the praise and worship for the 11.15am service. It was by God's grace that everything went well. I say this because last week when I was preparing for it, I did not put in my heart and soul to it. Then of course when I fell ill, it just worsened things.

During the rehearsal, I was just going through the motion and when there were some hiccups and needed ideas to rectify them, my mind was simply a blank.

On Saturday I cried out to the Lord in desperation... I told Him that whatever was going to happen at the service is not about me but Him. I do not want my struggles to be the focus as I am just an instrument. I pleaded with the Lord to make right what was wrong.

God being God, He heard my cries and guided me every step of the way. I was encouraged when I received a few affirmations after the service. All glory to Him!!!

Tomorrow I have two meetings... as much as I do not want to attend them, I prayed and asked the Lord to just help me through them. Anyway, I will share this with one of the pastors soon as I want to account my current struggles with either one of them. I do not want my human limitations to cause anymore persons to be stumbled.

For those of you who are reading my blogs, please keep me in your prayers. I covet that for now.

Time for me to stop here.

Good night, all.

"Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:28-31