Bless, Blessed and Blessing!

I had a wonderful morning spent with two very old friends... not in terms of the length of our friendship but their age. There used to be 7 of them but 5 have passed on over the years. One is 89 and the other is 82 years of age.

I decided to pay them a visit after I was reminded by a dear friend yesterday about how our lives are so much blessed, compared to many around us. The last time I met the two elderly aunties was during the Lunar New Year celebration where I usually cook a special meal for them.

I brought the two of them to a nearby coffee shop opposite the Subordinate Courts. We had a simple breakfast of some Chinese peanut and red bean pancakes plus hot drinks. One was surprised to meet me when she was walking around Sheng Siong supermarket with her trolley collecting cardboards and cans.

I was very happy when the two beautiful individuals were eager to know how I have been. Haha. I updated them how things are for me. When we were filling each other in about our lives, one thing which hit me was when one auntie mentioned that even though she is constantly experiencing the pain of arthritis and other ailments, she is still glad that she has food to eat, clothes to wear and medications to ease her pain. She also used the word, "Xing Fu", when she mentioned how a church and also a few generous individuals have been giving her the basic necessities to help her get on with life. That two Chinese words basically mean, "Blessed," if I am not wrong. Pardon me if it is not. Oh yah, the auntie also showed me the items she collected and said that as much as she has been receiving donations, she also believes in trying to earn her own living while she still can... she sells the cardboards and cans for a small sum of money.

The time spent was short because one of the aunties gets tired easily. Before we left, I passed each of them a box of essence of chicken and a few other items. One of them quickly opened the box and passed me a bottle. She asked me to drink it, knowing that lately I have not been feeling well. No words can describe how touched I felt. That simple act showed me how much she puts others before self. As much as I hesitated, I decided to drink it and she clapped and said that I am tired no more. Haha.

Indeed I am tired no more... not because of the essence of chicken but to see the joy on the faces of these two wonderful individuals! :)

One auntie carried on with her routine of collecting the cardboards and cans. I accompanied the other home so that she could have her sleep. When I was walking out of her flat, she advised me to keep swallowing rice so that I can get rid of the bone which is still stuck in my throat when I had fish for dinner yesterday.

Wow! Instead of blessing the aunties, I left feeling very blessed!!!

It is interesting how in a span of two days, I was reminded what it means to bless and how great it is to be blessed!

One other thing I learnt from the above-mentioned is this - when one knows the true meaning of being blessed, he or she also knows how to be thankful.

I am grateful to God for providing me a friend to remind me of how blessed I have been and two other friends whom I can bless them!

A great start to a new week. Praise the Lord! :)

"And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work." 2 Corinthians 9:8

God's Timing Is Always Perfect!

Just got home. While waiting for the laundry to be done, I thought I take the time to blog some thoughts which came as a revelation to me.

Yesterday morning I decided to spend some time at Botanic Gardens before seeing a specialist at Gleaneagles Hospital as my chest has been feeling weird lately. It is not the left side but the right. Last week I was supposed to see the doctor but while waiting, mum called to say that she was feeling weak. I had to cancel the medical appointment so that I could rush home to ensure that mum was ok. Thank God nothing serious happened to her.

The funny thing about reading God's Word at the Botanic Gardens was this - I simply could not grasp what it was trying to get at and I told God to reveal more to me as I went through the day.

Well, nothing went right throughout the whole of yesterday, at least that was what I initially concluded but now as I look back, God had a hand in everything.

I was advised by the doctor to go easy in the midst of all the stress I am facing at home and certain struggles I have been going through regarding my burdens for the people around me. I was prescribed some medications and there will be a review in two weeks' time.

As usual, I was questioning God why one thing after another seems to be happening in my life and of course these things are not pleasant ones. It affected my mood and in turn it affected the way I treat my family and friends whom I have been in contact with.

Then came evening when more of the plans made totally went haywire and initially I was quite affected and reacted quite negatively.

It was here I learnt something as I decided to just be still - if I am not perfect, I should not expect others to be one. And if we are all imperfect, why should we be disappointed with one another and hence hold a grudge against one another? Instead we should bear and help each other... that is how then we will all overcome the shortcomings in our lives.

I also thank God for the medications which were prescribed to me yesterday morning. I had to take one when my chest was a little uncomfortable and that helped.

Well, the verses I read were these - "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28)

"He has made everything beautiful in its time." (Ecclessiastes 3:11)

Now I am able to see how God took care of everything in the midst of all the chaos. I am experiencing His peace in my heart now. Finally! I am also able to now give thanks in all circumstances, as stated in 1 Thessalonians 5:18.

I guess that is all I want to share. It has been a long day but thanks be to God for it... looking forward to sleep after I hang up the laundry. :)

God is good and His love endures forever. :)

A Traumatic Off Day

I swapped my off-day on Monday for today and has taken leave on Friday. Tomorrow being a public holiday basically means that I will be enjoying a super-long weekend. It has not started well though.

This afternoon I went to visit a sister-in-Christ's office in Jalan Eunos area. It has been a while since I visited them as I have been busy with work and all. I also wanted to see a photography session that she was doing with another friend. We had lunch together.

While on our way back to the office, which is near the Singapore Post Building, I noticed a man lying in the middle of the cross-junction. I saw his fallen motor-bike next to him. I knew it was an accident.

My instinct was to go and help him but for a moment, I hesitated because exactly a month ago, on 30 March 2014, I tried helping an injured cyclist but he did not pull through that accident. In my heart, I really could not bear to see another succumb to his injuries.

As much as I was struggling with that, I saw no one helping the man. I just gathered up the courage and went ahead.

I did not expect the accident to be a serious one but when I approached the injured Malay gentleman, I then realised the full extent of his injuries. I quickly shouted for the passers-by to call the ambulance as the man needed immediate medical help.

He basically sustained very deep cuts to his lips, tongue, nose and right eye-lid. I asked him to lay as still as possible and went on to check the other parts of his body for injuries. While doing that, he suddenly turned his head to the left and that was when his right eye-ball got slightly dislodged from the socket.

Immediately I had to immobilise him. I quickly knelt down and held his head in between my laps and used a thick stack of tissue papers provided by a passer-by to cover his injured eyes, basically to shield it from the intense afternoon sunlight. The man kept asking what would happen to his eye because he heard a comment made loudly by a passer-by on the severity of his injuries.

I had to keep assuring him that help is on the way and that he would be in good hands. He was in shock and was numbed to his injuries at that point of time. I whispered prayers of mercy on the gentleman and also asked God to quickly send the ambulance over.

It came not too long after and I let the medics take over. After they had immobilised the man with the proper equipment, I helped strapped him and carried him onto the stretcher-trolley with the help of a few passers-by.

I have yet to get an update on the injured man and I am still praying that God has mercy on him. May He save the man's eye and that he will recover fully. If you are reading this blog, please intercede with me for the SingPost dispatch rider.

I really do not know why I keep encountering one accident after another... so far most of them are really serious ones and I was unable to help much with their injuries. Just about 30 minutes ago, a friend of mine, who is a doctor, encouraged me to look at all these as opportunities to offer emotional and mental support to the injured because that is what they need while waiting for professional help to arrive. Well, as much as possible I do not want to encounter another mishap but if I do, I will take heed of my friend's encouragement and be there for the injured.

I guess if I were in their shoes, I would also want someone to be there for me.

I am tired and will try to sleep soon but before that I just want to share a painful lesson I was reminded of recently on relationship.

As it has not been a good month for me (as shared in my last blog), I have been quite emotional and just a few days ago while a dear friend tried to offer some advice, I kind of snapped at her. In doing so, I know it has strained our relationship and I am very troubled by it.

It takes many months and years to build a relationship but you only need one day of carelessness to strain or break a relationship. I have sought for forgiveness and I really hope for a reconciliation soon.

Let us cherish all the relationships we have with our family and friends. Let us also treat them with care. I hope this reminder for me has not come a little too late though.

That is all, I guess,

Good night.

What A Day, Week and Month!

It is Friday. I am supposed to shout, "T.G.I.F.!" (right?) but seriously I am not too sure whether I am able to thank God for that.

I think many expect a Christian like me to be able to give thanks in all circumstances (1 Thessalonians 5:18) but I am seriously struggling to do so... at least for the time being.

Why? Well, I am basically drained (physically, emotionally and mentally).

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WHAT A DAY!

Today is mum's 69th birthday. In the morning, I had it all planned out for the celebration. Then came around 9am when mum suddenly became lethargic and weak again (she felt the same way yesterday afternoon). She suggested that we postpone the lunch. I called the restaurant and cancelled the reservation.

I had to monitor her condition from then on. I even called the specialist who attended to mum during her hospitalisation and gave her all the readings for mum's blood pressure, glucose level and temperature. She basically advised that mum just rest and have small intakes of food throughout the day.

Around 2pm, mum's condition seemed to have improved and she suddenly suggested going out for lunch but now to a nearer restaurant. My brother and I felt that she was fit enough to go out and off we went to NEX. By the time we arrived at the restaurant it was already 3pm.

Everything went pretty well at the restaurant. All enjoyed the dishes we ordered. My nephew was a great entertainer and all had an enjoyable time.

After the lunch celebration, grandma wanted to walk around the mall and we acceded to her request. It was here something happened. Towards the end part of the shopping, while walking along a narrow part of the mall, this young woman, who simply could not wait for mum and my brother (who was holding mum's arm) to pass, just squeezed her way through. In doing so, it caused mum to trip and fall and the worse thing was that she fell almost on top of my nephew, who was walking in front of her.

My brother and I quickly picked mum up and my sister-in-law checked on my nephew. I was so angry that I shouted at the young lady and gave her a piece of my mind. The sad part was that she was not apologetic at all. Sigh.

Thank God both mum and my nephew were okay. The latter was basically in shock and had a slight bump on his forehead.

We headed home and continued to ensure that mum and my nephew were okay. So far so good.

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WHAT A WEEK!!

I had a great Easter Sunday - went to church to celebrate Jesus' resurrection; had an enjoyable time with a friend over lunch, movie and ice-cream; had a great evening with some Liverpudlians at my pastor's home to see the Reds beat Norwich City.

I headed home after that and it was here mum first told me that she felt nauseous. I gave her some medication and decided to monitor her condition. Slightly past midnight, she started to develop a temperature, vomited three times and her blood pressure was also on the rise. She became quite limped and it was here I decided to call the ambulance. While trying to have her sit up, I also notice some blood stains on the bedsheet.

The medics arrived - mum's temperature was past 39 degrees Celsius; her blood pressure was also very high and she was in a daze.

She was rushed to the Accident and Emergency Department of Tan Tock Seng Hospital. After several hours of tests and observation, mum had to be hospitalised.

By the time I headed home, I was already without sleep for more than 35 hours. I still could not sleep as I had to send out some memos regarding a meeting which I was supposed to chair on Tuesday. It was an important meeting which could not be postponed so I had to instruct a colleague to cover for me.

By the time I went to bed it was already almost 11pm.

Oh yah, did I mention that grandma was also down with stomach flu on the same day mum was hospitalised? Yup, there you go.

From Monday till now I have not been able to sleep properly. In the middle of the night, I would just wake up a couple of times to ensure that grandma and mum are fine. Every little sound would just jolt me out of my bed!

Mum was discharged on Wednesday after doctors could not find any hemorrhaging in her body after scopes were carried out.

The whole week I have not been able to go to office and it is supposed to be an important and busy one for me. Whatever time and energy I could spare, I would work from home.

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WHAT A MONTH!!!

Last month during the OCBC Cycle 2014, I decided to help a cyclist who was involved in a serious accident during the initial part of the event. If you have read the newspapers about it, you would have been informed that the injured cyclist did not survive the mishap. He succumbed to his injuries two days later.

Throughout the time, while waiting for the ambulance to arrive, I was holding his hand, asking him to stay awake. I was praying that God would sustain him. He tried getting up a few times but I had to ask him to stay as still as possible because I did not know the full extent of his injuries.

When the ambulance finally came (which to me, felt like ages!), I was optimistic that he would pull through.

Then came two days later, I was informed that the cyclist had passed on.

I just felt really really sad. At one point I was asking God how come he did not answer the several prayers I made for this man. He was so young - just 24 years of age!

The next few days I had nightmares of the accident... the face of that young man kept appearing in my sleep. I would wake up, feeling very down.

I had to also assist in the investigation and that took a toll on me too. I could not reveal much of this, as it is still ongoing, but deep down I was disappointed and angry with a few parties.

I have more or less come to grip with the cyclist's death but I have to admit that now I have some fear of cycling. I am also concerned for those of my friends who are fellow cyclists.

So much for that. 

About two weeks ago, when I was on a recce trip for a cycling charity event, my right elbow suddenly snapped - so loud that some in the car I was in heard it.

After coming back from the trip, I had my elbow examined and it was diagnosed as a case of bursitis - the inflammation of the bursa. Twice I had to have some fluid build-up drained and twice I had to have steroid jabs. Even till now, I still experience some pain (though not as excruciating as I initially had it). If the pain still persists, I may have to go for an operation to remove the bursa.

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Well, that is the account for the current season of my life.

As much as I am feeling pretty negative about life lately, I am thankful for some friends who have stood by me.

One friend touched me deeply when he decided to drop by the Accident and Emergency Department to pass me some food and drinks when he realised I did not have my breakfast and lunch. His workplace was in the west but he took the effort and went out of his way to ensure that I was adequately fed.

There are also friends who have been praying for mum, grandma and me. Some even made a point to message me a couple of times a day to ask how things are for us.

I am also thankful for some of the me-times I have been having. I basically needed to go away to somewhere quiet just so that I could reflect and re-group my thoughts. If not, I would have gone mad literally!

The time spent with God - reading his Word, reading Christian literature, being quiet and praying -  really helped.

How long more do I have to go through this? Well, I am not sure. It has been four years or so already that either dad or mum or grandma would give my brother and I a scare almost every quarterly. It is sad that dad has passed on during one of these scares.

I just pray God will sustain me as I continue to carry out my duties as a son and grandson to my mum and grandma respectively.

Being a human, sometimes (like now) I will fall into self-pity, anger, disappointment, frustration, etc but life still have to go on.

Just realised I have not blogged for more than a year already. Wow!

Anyway, below are few passages from the Bible or Christian literature which have spoken to me lately...

"He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:29-31

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6

"The great thing about faith in God is that it keeps a man undisturbed in the midst of disturbance." --- Oswald Chambers

"Negative thoughts and emotions can overwhelm you and rob you of perspective. If you don't shut them down, self-destruction can seem like the only escape because you can't see another way out. A great many people have fleeting thoughts of suicide or self-harm. What will save your life in these situations is to shift your perspective from yourself to those you love, from the pain of right now to the greater possibilities of the future." --- Nick Vujicic