Clearing The Air

I have been working on a report since this morning. I just had my late lunch consisting of home-made ham and cheese sandwiches and orange juice. Nothing spectacular of a meal but sometimes simplicity is enough to satisfy one's stomach when hungry. :)

I just have a bit more to go for the report. After that I will head home and then decide whether I want to go for a ride. A dear friend told me that the central part of Singapore is pouring so I shall see whether the weather permits me to cycle later. I have not been cycling on a regular basis lately because of work and home matters. I hope soon I will be able to do so on a regular basis.

This morning I had to counsel someone regarding a misunderstanding he has with a friend. This particular individual was just trying to be a friend to another. He has always been there for her but lately she has been avoiding him.

He just only found out from another friend that the reason is due to the fact that this friend of his thinks that he is interested in her. My friend shared that he has no other ulterior motives other than just being there for his friends but I guess when it involves an individual of the opposite gender, there is bound to have misunderstandings like this.

I believe in this friend of mine and I told him that so long as his conscience is clear, one day the truth will speak for itself. I also told him to continue to do what he has been doing because that is him. He must not let this one incident stop him from showing genuine concern and care for another, be it of the same gender or another.

What saddens my heart is the assumption one makes without making an attempt to clear the air. A lot of times, misunderstandings can be resolved when both parties can just speak to each other about issues. This not only strengthens the relationship, it also builds trust.

I do not know whether someone else has warned my friend's friend that there could be other reasons than just him being a friend to her. Over the years, I have learnt that not all friends' advice or warning is correct. The sad part is when it is wrong, it creates unnecessary rift between the two parties involved. I always believe that there should be a dialogue between these two parties and that if their relationship is close enough, there should be this openness to share even awkward issues.

I have no issues having friends consulting other friends about matters involving me but one should accept advices with a pinch of salt and should there be any concerns, I would expect my friends to come and clear the air with me.

I am glad my friend is feeling better after pouring his heart out. I hope the issue would be resolved sooner than later. It is always a lousy feeling when such incident happens. Sigh.

Okie, I should stop here and carry on with my report. :)

"The LORD searches every heart and understands every desire and every thought." 1 Chronicles 28:9

Listen. Obey. Do.

The running gang decided to do white river rafting this afternoon. It was done at a Grade 2/3 river where the rapids are quite intense.

Right from the start, we had to follow the commands of the instructor who is seated behind the raft giving commands as to what we should do and all.

It was vital for us to listen to his instructions as he knows best about the river and also the technical aspect of the boat.

In the beginning he was telling us what to do all the time but at the later part, fewer commands were given as my team members knew what to do already.

I guess the above-mentioned can be an analogy of a Christian's life journey.

At all times we must listen to the commands of our Instructor who is God Himself. This comes from reading the Word of God regularly. Not just reading but also practicing whatever it says.

Over time, as we read more and more of the Bible, it becomes part of us that we know what is pleasing and displeasing to God. This then leads to obedience and of course living a life of holiness and godliness pleasing to God and also being a good testimony to the people around us.

It was a great experience when I did the activity because life will have a lot of rapids and only the Instructor knows how to bring us out of them. If we choose not to listen, we will be sucked into the fast currents or be thrown overboard and dragged along by the rapids or even drowned.

Surely I do not want that to happen and I will continue to listen to my God and live my life according to His ways, as His are the best! :)

Well, that said - I pulled my calf muscles and they are now very tight and painful. I'm walking with a limp actually. Hopefully when I go for my massage tomorrow, it would help loosen the strained part.

Praise the Lord for His journey mercies. :)

My Much-Needed Rest

This trip to Bali, though the main objective is to celebrate a good friend's birthday, also serves as a much-needed retreat away from the cares of home and office.

I basically need to catch a breather especially when lately I've been swarmed with having to handle matters at home concerning my parents and grandma.

Work also has a lot of deadlines to meet. A high expectation has also been placed on my shoulders in the curriculum-planning I'm tasked with.

I just did my devotion and I was reading Psalm 92 where the chapter begins with, "It is good to praise the Lord..."

For a while in my journey as a Christian, I never could understand why the Bible always asks the readers to have a heart of thanksgiving towards God and also situations.

It then dawned upon me that with this attitude, it basically allows me to see trials, struggles, anxieties, fears, etc, in a different light. It channels our attention from a bleak situation to that of hope.

It brings us out of a dead-end. It reminds us that we need not struggle through life alone.

That is one thing I like about my God. He almost always asks His children to be counter-culture and that's a good feeling. It makes us unique and at the same time allow us to have joy in the midst of adversity.

Well, a much-needed reminder for me.

Anyway, I enjoyed my first day here. Villa Kamboja, my home for the next three days, is simply stunning. The food served and service rendered to us were excellent!

I basically swam and chilled after settling in. I joined the rest of the running gang in discussing our activities for the next few days. I'm so looking forward to it.

Of course we also want the birthday-boy to enjoy the four-day celebration and make this trip a memorable one for him and all!

Before dinner at A&W, we shopped at Carrefour to buy groceries for the next few days. Man, you should see the amount of stuff we bought. Haha. The next few meals will be sumptuous!

Well, I just had a very relaxing massage. Though just an hour, it was excellent. We are going to do more throughout the course of this trip. :)

Okie dokies, time to sleep! A long day awaits tomorrow as we are all going wide-river rafting! Woohoo!

Good night, all! :)

What Is The Point?

For those of you reading this blog and want to fault me for being rude or unfilial for what I am going to write... so be it. I just need to let the frustration out! If not, I will simply go insane.

Sometimes I do not know what is the point of putting in so much effort taking care of my grandma and parents but in the end I am at fault for occasionally advising them not to do certain things which are detrimental to their health.

The worst thing is that my brother and I have to bear the consequences when things happened.

Sometimes I wonder whether grandma's ability to walk again is a bane or blessing. Of course I would want to see it as the latter but lately she has been giving me such great headaches - refusing to tell me or someone else at home that she is going to the toilet or anywhere else in the home. She basically needs to be accompanied at all times just in case she falls.

Well, fall she did just a few days ago. How? Because she went out of the room on her own, fell and knocked her head against the chair. The back of her head is now blue-black. Thank God the swell has subsided. She is also experiencing a bit of sore around her hip area where the operated part is. Sigh.

If I really want to, I can only say she is to be blamed for it.

Then for mum, she is hospitalised for urinal tract infection. Last December she was admitted for the same reason. I thought she would be more sensible and understanding because she is much younger than grandma but it is not to be. During the trip to Genting Highlands with my dad and uncle, she did not drain her urine as often as she should and the worst part is that she used back the same tube which was not stored in a sterile manner. This then caused the infection.

Again, if I really want to, she is simply to be blamed for her current plight.

As for dad, he knows he has diabetes but he does not take his medication regularly, goes out and eat often and still drinks 3-in-1 coffee which is not good for diabetics. The areas around his ankles are beginning to blacken. I am worried simply looking at the condition but he does not seem to.

Who is to be blamed should one day his legs be amputated or his condition deterioriates? He is.

The last member, though not human, is my dog. Though I cannot blame her but grandma and my parents have secretly been feeding her the new year goodies which are lying around the house and she is happily eating the tidbits. Just now, to my horror, I found grandma feeding her nuts which is a no-no as it would kill the dog. This explains why a few nights ago Sasha was vomiting and purging. There were blood in the puke and stools. Thank God nothing serious happened. Sigh again!

I do not know how else to handle the three old folks. Sometimes I feel like giving up and just let them be but I cannot. But when I care, they find me a nuisance, a nag. They have never considered how they have created so much inconveniences for my brother and me.

Both of us have to make time in the midst of our work to cook for them, do the housework and look after their physical needs. If they listen and are appreciative, it would have made our responsibilities as a grandson and son more joyful but lately we are not feeling it.

I am basically tired and at my wit's end.

The question that always comes to mind is what is the point? What is the point of nursing them back to good health but in the end, they do not take care of themselves and fall sick again?! In and out of hospital they have taken turns to do so. Last December, two of them decided to be admitted at the same time and the best part is while I am away. My poor brother had to handle everything at home and in hospital.

Whenever I asked myself whether it is worth it, I can only pray and ask God to help me persevere as I carry out my duties at home. I also pray that He will grant me patience and self-control because there were times I just felt like exploding. Praise the Lord that He has heard my prayers in these areas.

Now I understand the headaches of having to handle a greying population and I have three to deal with.

Though so far I have shared all the unpleasant areas, time and again I reminded myself to focus on the positive side. I will continue to do so though I have to admit there will come another time when I will again pour out my woes like what I am doing now on this blog.

Anyway, time to end here. My brother just arrived. I will go out for a while and catch a breather.

Weekend Is Here!

I dislike receiving calls from the hospital especially after office hours. It makes my heart jump by a few beats as I do not know whether something has happened to mum. Well, just about 5 minutes ago, a staff from mum's ward called and thank God, it was just to ask me to buy a tube of cream from the pharmacy which the hospital has currently no stock.

It is to treat an infection on her right toe. Apparently while cutting her nails, she went too deep into the skin and it is now infected. For a diabetic, it is dangerous as it may cause the wound to be gangrenous. I shall go find it tomorrow.

Mum is still weak though she is more alert today, as updated to me by dad. I was unable to visit her as I have to work the whole day. I also needed to be home to take care of grandma as my brother has to attend to some matters in the evening pertaining to his work.

Well, in the morning before I left for campus, I cooked the rice, made babi pongteh, boiled some winter-melon soup and also fried eggs with turnips for dad and grandma for their lunch. When I came home I steamed some kailan served with a tinge of oyster sauce and fried shallots.

I am glad most of the dishes have been consumed by grandma and dad.

This week I have no chance to cycle because of work and also having to deal with matters at home. I weighed myself yesterday and realised I have put on 2kg. Looks like I have to find a way to exercise in the midst of all these responsibilities and inconveniences.

Hopefully over the weekends I am able to find time to ride once.

During lunch-time I decided to head for TradeHub 21 Building along Boon Lay Way to check out some bike stuff. I thought I was going to spend a short time there but in the end, I was there for close to an hour plus. Well, I bought a couple of stuff for myself and a dear friend and I am pleased with the purchases because these are items we can use for cycling.

I had to rush back for a meeting and while on my way, it dawned upon me that I have not taken my lunch. Haha. It was really a slip of the mind while being so engrossed with the shopping and discussing with my friend as to what we need to get.

Anyway, when I got back to office I had an energy bar and that lasted till I came home.

I think I shall stop here for now. I have to hang the laundry and also take medication for my sore throat. It does not seem to be getting better.

Good night, all, and have a restful weekend ahead! :)

God Will See Me Through!

When will it ever end?!

That is the question I asked when grandma had another fall a short while ago. Again, it is simply because she refused to heed my advice to call for me when going to the toilet. It does not help that mum came back from her holidays with cramps in her legs and she seems weak.

Looks like it is going to be another night of keeping vigil, just to make sure that grandma and mum are okay. How long can I last having to deal with all these? I really do not know. I can only trust God to guide me one step at a time and give me the strength to deal with situations that may come my way.

I wish I do not have a family with so many medical problems but of course in reality it is not to be. Do I blame my parents and grandma for all the inconveniences they are giving me? Nope but one thing I do ask of them is that they listen to my advice. If they do, a lot of their health issues would have been stabilised.

Do I blame God for the above-mentioned? The answer is no too. He has given us the freedom to live our lives and many have chosen to live the way we think is best but sometimes our best is not to be.

There are moments when I am at my wit's end handling matters concerning the family. I have a friend commenting that there is no need to disturb God all the time. I am thankful basically that my God is there for me each step of the way (even when I think I do not need Him) and that I can trouble Him even with the littlest request. If not for Him, I would not have lasted so long.

I have one major meeting to chair tomorrow. I cannot seem to sleep and I do not know how grandma and mum will be when they wake up later. All I ask is for God's mercy and grace to be upon the family and that when the sun rises, all will be well.

I pray for the domestic helper who will be coming at the end of the month that she too will be able to handle the three old folks. As much as she will alleviate some of my burdens, I also know that she will have to bear a major part of it especially when most of the time I am at work. I trust that God will give her the strength and that I will also be sensitive to the stress she is going to face. She is also a human and it is my prayer that God will help us through.

My neck area feels kind of tight. I hope it will be fine after a while.

I shall end here. Since I cannot seem to sleep, I shall spend some time just reading the Bible and listening to some music.

All of the above-mentioned will come to pass. God be my help.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

Morning Conversation With God

I went out on a super-early morning walk because I was unable to sleep the whole night. It has been a while also since I brought my doggy out on a stroll. I have been thinking of a couple of people and issues and perhaps my mind was too active to shut off.

Sometimes thoughts running in our minds can be happy ones but those I was thinking about are not really unhappy ones but more so of a concern and burden. I needed to submit them to God.

The weather was cool as it was threatening to rain but thank God it was withheld during the course of my walk. I talked to God along the way and I told Him what I could not do based on my human abilities for these persons and matters and that He is the only One who can help me and them.

It was a load off as I prayed. My doggy was happy, I guess, being able to get out of the house for a while. I brought her to the park opposite my home and let her loose to run on the grass patch. It was dark but there were already joggers doing their morning rounds.

I will not go into much details about what I spoke to God about but it has to do with how puzzled I am sometimes in how we, as humans, behave - our pessimism, burdens, bitterness, etc. I was also burdened for some of my siblings-in-Christ's walk with God as in I do not know how to encourage them to turn all these to Him and allow Him to play a big part in their lives so that they do not get too bogged down but to live their lives freely and joyfully.

I am not saying that they should not feel the way they are now but not for a prolonged period because we serve a God so almighty that He can help us if we allow Him to. Our lives are already so short - why let all these troubles put us down when we could choose to enjoy our lives in this short transition we have here on earth by giving God a chance to help us?

It may sound easy for me to say all of the above-mentioned but this is precisely something that I am trying to practice in my own life because I also have my woes and they are so evident that sometimes I am at my wit's end as to how to deal with them.

Since my personal retreat late last year, I have learnt to commit to God most areas of my life to Him - I say "most" because I am, like many others, not ready to let go of everything but day by day I am releasing it and I hope one day I will be able to. All I can say is this - I can breathe better by not dealing with life's struggles alone. :)

Anyway, it was a great time spent with God earlier. After I reached home, the rain came pouring down. It reminded me of how the clouds when they are unable to hold all the moisture anymore that they have no choice but to release it as rain. I guess it is the same for our burdens and struggles... we need to pour them out to God so that we can feel light again. :)

The rain, at the same, also reminded me of God's abundant blessings that He is always ever ready to pour forth upon us. The interesting thing is that sometimes we refuse to let Him do so.

Well, a great morning to start off the day. :)

Mum and dad are not in Singapore as they have gone on a short get-away to Genting Highlands. It is good that they are doing that since it has been a while that they left the country. Sadly they cannot go far due to mum's condition but regardless, it is good that they are out on a short break.

That said, my brother and I are holding the fort at home. Though grandma is recovering well, she still needs to be on a constant watch especially her movements at home. The domestic helper is not going to be here till end of the month so we have to bear with the inconveniences for now.

I am just leaving it to God to help us cope during this period.

Well, I shall end here. A new week of adventure to look forward to. :)

Setback Is Progress

For the past one and a half weeks or so, my team has been working on two major modules which are due for update. We submitted our proposals before the Lunar New Year regarding the revamp and was approved by the relevant authorities.

Yesterday we received news that the proposal for one of the modules needs to be re-looked. The reason was that a particular authority involved in the consultation of the revamp decided to change its stance on some of the topics to be taught.

My team and I were very frustrated as we have gone full-steam in the planning. Now we have to go back to the drawing block and submit another proposal which is to be made by this Friday.

Anyway, last night I decided to put aside the disappointment and just worship the Lord with my guitar. As I spent some time in reflection in the midst of the singing, I learnt that setbacks are not meant to put one down but to make best the whole process and at the end of it all, a result far exceeding one's expectations. An assuring feeling then came upon me that God will see my team through. That was all I needed yesterday. :)

When I arrived in campus this morning, my team and I started work on the proposal. We are coping and progressing well. Praise God for that! We just finished the meeting - 6 hours of brain-storming marathon.

I thought I take this time to blog and at the same time eat the smoked salmon sandwiches I made for lunch. Very hungry as I did not really have my brekkie as I was rushing to campus this morning.

I shall end here for now.

It's The End That Counts!

This morning I brought grandma to the hospital for her medical review. As much as I was concerned that her hip may not be healing well due to the fall she had last Sunday, I prayed and asked the Lord to prepare my heart.

An x-ray was taken when we arrived. After a short wait, the result was out and we met the specialist for the review. Based on the x-ray, grandma's hip is healing well and she is on the road to full recovery, provided that everyone takes all the precautionary measures required.

The doctor, however, advised me to up the physio-therapy sessions which grandma is to do at home. He feels that this will speed up the recovery process and also to strengthen her muscles.

It is a relief to know grandma is well. Again I can attribute all these to answered prayers! :)

I am supposed to help a dear sister-in-Christ today at her office. Last night it only occurred to me that grandma's review is today and I had no choice but to send her my apologies.

After sending grandma home, I headed to Vivocity. Another bookstore, Page One, is closing down and all books are going at 50% off. Stationeries are at 30% discount. I bought a couple of books - mainly for work purposes.

I was not planning to watch a movie but since I was near a theatre, I decided to catch a locally-produced movie entitled, "We Not Naughty!" Well, it was entertaining but to me, the storyline was a little predictable and occasionally messy. The one thing that caught my attention was right at the end when there was this phrase, "It's The End That Counts."

I do not know why it was included but as I pondered on this, it reveals to me something about life. You know, in our living years, we pursue our dreams. We get caught up in the rat race. We experience good or bad relationships with our family and friends. We may or may not take God seriously in our lives. Sad to say, many times He is non-existent in what we say and do... sometimes to the point of going against His will.

One thing I realised as I thought of the phrase mentioned above is this - everything we do till the day we breathe our last must prepare us for THE END and beyond because that is what counts.

We can earn as much money as we want but we cannot bring them with us when we leave this earth. We can compete with others in reaching the top but at the end, we still come crumbling down when we are on our death-bed. We can choose to go against God by disobeying Him or sometimes to the point of denying that there is a God but when we die, we have to stand before Him to account our lives.

I know what I have shared so far sounds scary or morbid but the "now" determines the "then." What is it going to be for you and me?

Well, something for us to ponder. It hit me and I will always keep this phrase in mind! :)

Just packed for work tomorrow. I will try to sleep earlier tonight. :)

The Great I AM Defines Who I Am

Before I start blogging proper, here's wishing everyone a very happy birthday. Accordingly to the Chinese tradition, the seventh day of the Lunar New Year is supposedly everyone's birthday! :)

How time has quickly flown by and my one week of break is going to be over soon. Well, praise God for the celebration I had with family and friends. Praise God for taking care of grandma! She has been home for one week. Though she gave us a scare by a fall on the second day of her discharge, praise the Lord that she is protected from another serious injury. In fact, the past two days, she seemed to be walking faster than before. She is also able to pull herself out of bed without the assistance of mum or me. The pain which she initially complained about after the fall is almost non-existent too. Hallelujah!

All these I can only attribute to one thing - answered prayers! Amen? :)

Though I am supposed to take the past week of public holidays and leave to rest, I did not really have the chance to. I was busy cooking for my relatives and visitors who came over. I had to wake up a couple of times in the middle of the night to accompany grandma to the toilet. I had to clean up her room or the living room occasionally when she leaked while walking to the loo. I had to make sure mum and dad had ample rest because when I am not in, either running errands or going for appointments, they will be the alternative care-givers.

Well, no matter what, God has seen me through the above-mentioned and to me, that is enough. So long as what I am doing is for the good of grandma and my parents, I am contented. I just want them to be happy and well. :)

I learn today that what I do here on earth does not define who I am but it is what God has done on the cross that defines me.

In this world, many times we think we are who we are by what we do. That includes failures or mistakes one experiences or commits respectively. If one fails in something, one is branded a useless or good-for-nothing. When one commits a crime, say taking someone's life, one is branded as a murderer. But do you know when Jesus died on the cross for the sins of man, He did it because He sees everyone of us as precious souls worthy to die for?

We are not condemned but redeemed.

If we can just grasp this, there is no need for us to win the favour or recognition of men. There is no need for us to toil so hard in school or at work or at home for people to accept us. If we know our identity in God, there is no fear of making mistakes or failing in some stages of our lives because we know we are not judged by all these but instead, God is always there to run with us till we are back on track again. We are basically never walking alone. God will be there from the start of the race and He will be there with us to the very end too! :)

A revelation also came to mind when I was pondering on the above thoughts. If I know who I am in Christ, I will also know His heart and knowing is not enough, I will follow after His very heartbeat. This means I know what I need to do with my life. I will be clear in what are the things to pursue after. I will basically live my life based on what is necessary to see me through my days on earth. There is no point pursuing what one cannot bring along with him when he leaves this earth. If we can practice this, I think life on earth would be much happier and easier to trod.

From this lesson learnt, I am challenged to weed out those areas which are sucking me dry unnecessarily and basically feed on what is vital to keep me heavenward. :)

I also had a chance to spend some time with a dear friend in cycling last Wednesday, watching a movie on Friday and having meals together. I always praise God for moments like these with friends and I look forward to more of this in the near future.

Well, this week onwards will mark the start of the curriculum-planning where research, brain-storming and probably meetings with relevant authorities or universities or agencies go into full-swing. I am looking forward to them because I have a great team which God provided me with. As much as a lot are expected of us, I am not going to be bothered by that but basically to give my best in every area of this project which has been entrusted to me. :)

I guess that is all. I am bringing grandma for her medical review tomorrow. It is my prayer that she is recovering well. :)

Good night, all! Have a blessed and great week of adventure ahead! :)

Tough But Perservering!

Two days of public holidays to celebrate the Lunar New Year are almost coming to a close. It has been an eventful period for me. In fact it started on the eve, a day after grandma was discharged from the hospital.

Well, just before the commencement of the reunion dinner, grandma had a fall in her room. As I was busy cooking and the rest of my family members entertaining our relatives, grandma was left alone for a while. But that short time proved to be disastrous. I think she kind of knew that her great-grandson has just arrived and she was probably eager to see him. Without asking for assistance, she tried standing on her own and I guess that was how she fell. It was my cousin who found her on the floor.

Since then she complains of pain occasionally - first it was the back center (which was yesterday); this morning she mentioned her surgical area was painful.

I wanted to bring her to the hospital in the morning. I called one of the staff for advice but we were asked to come tomorrow instead as the specialists are not available due to the holidays. I shall monitor grandma's condition today and see how. So far she has been fine and I hope it remains so. If all goes well, I will probably wait till 30 January when grandma is due for her review.

Since grandma's homecoming, I have not been able to sleep properly. About two to three times at night, she would press the buzzer and I would have to wake up to accompany her to the toilet. I am not complaining but just concerned as to why she is relieving herself so often. Mum asked me to put the adult diapers on her but I objected to it as I do not want grandma to be too dependent on that.

Anyway, it is a matter of adapting to grandma's condition and I guess everyone at home will get used to it soon.

Initially I thought I was unable to join some friends for our annual Lunar New Year lunch as I was all set to admit grandma into the hospital but since it was not to be, I decided to catch a breather and go for the feasting and fellowship.

It has always been a great joy being in the company of good friends - some whom I have known for 28 years since we were in Primary 6. Praise God for them all.

We had a good meal at Springleaf Teochew Porridge Restaurant situated along Upper Thomson Road. We broke our tradition of eating dim sum but no regrets as the food was good! After that, we had good coffee at The Yahava Koffee joint just a couple of streets away. The coffee and cakes were great! We were even treated to a coffee appreciation session by one of the barristers. :)

After the get-together, I headed for NEX to buy some groceries. Headed home and rested since.

Well, I am glad I am on leave for the remaining part of the week. Looking forward to it. :)

Grandma Is Home!!!

Just finished preparing the broth needed for the steamboat reunion dinner tomorrow. I am also done with the laundry. It has been a long day but praise the Lord for seeing me through it.

In the morning I wanted to go for a ride on my bike but calculating the time needed, I decided against it. The reason is due to grandma's discharge from the hospital. Praise the Lord!!!

My brother and I went to fetch her home. I could see the smile on her face when she donned on her own clothes and ditched the hospital garb which she has been wearing since 8 December 2011. Yup, one month and 13 days in total!

Anyway, from the ward to the car-park, she was on her new wheelchair. When we arrived at our block, she alighted and insisted on using the walking frame. Walked she did and climbed she succeeded! Yup, she climbed the four flights of stairs by holding on to the railings with one hand and the other on my brother's arm. She was tired when she reached the third level but I was so proud of her! :)

As always, our dear Miss Sasha ran out to greet grandma and she did that a couple of times, galloping in and out of the house.

Well, that marks the whole saga which started on the last month of last year... now on the first month of the new year, grandma is recovering well and she will be healed completely sooner than later! God has answered the prayers of those who interceded for her throughout this period. I am especially thankful to my church members, who are on the PrayerNet, and always keeping grandma in prayer daily! :)

Till now, everything has been going well except for one incident where grandma leaked when she was walking to the toilet but the other visitations to the loo were fine!

I bought this wireless twin-receiver door-bell for grandma to call my parents or me when she needs assistance. Well, it has been so effective that I even got scolded for taking my time to her room when she buzzed for us this evening. Maybe I should just turn the buzzer off and pretend I did not hear anything. Hee hee. :)

Grandma's appetite was great too! I cooked her favourite dishes to be eaten with porridge and boy oh boy, she ate like she has not eaten for months! :) Anyway, I am glad she is eating well. Praise the Lord!

Other than taking care of grandma, I also prepared the ingredients for the reunion dinner and even had the chance to clean the windows!

I rested for a short while before leaving for Marine Parade to collect some foodstuff from a dear friend. I also needed to pass her some things. After that we shopped for a while at NTUC and we bought Mandarin oranges and a bottle of milk.

Well, it has been an eventful day but a good one! Praise the Lord! :)

Time for me to catch some sleep! Tomorrow another long day but looking forward to it! :)

Good night, all!

Praise God For Life!

I am blogging my thoughts in the train now. I managed to find a seat and thought I just write since I have not done so for a while.

First of all, I want to thank God for the ability to wake up this morning to breathe in the fresh air and also to look at the sunrise. These are things which we sometimes take for granted. I am reminding myself about this because yesterday my friend and I almost met with an accident when a taxi suddenly swerved into our lane.

Though my friend was annoyed and the taxi driver seemed unapologetic, what matters is that a serious accident was averted and we are still able to experience life.

I felt bad about the whole incident because if I had not accepted my friend's offer to give me a lift home, the above-mentioned would have been avoided and perhaps her evening would have ended in a happier note.

Anyway, though the day did not end the way I hoped it to be, I learnt a couple of lessons here and will cherish them in my heart and apply them in future.

I met my godsister's cousin for breakfast at Vivocity and at the same time collect some orders I made for the Chinese New Year celebration. It was a great time spent with him as we talked about my work, his school, our passion for cycling and other topics of interest. Praise God for this dear buddy. Though it was just an hour spent chatting and eating at McDonalds, it was an enjoyable one. :)

Towards the later part of the afternoon, I brewed something for grandma, my parents and also a friend. I hope they all like it because I did not get to see them drink it. :)

The evening was spent with my friend having a Peranakan dinner. We had Babi Pongteh, Assam Pedas and also Chap Chye at Joo Chiat area. After that we went to do some grocery-shopping. I also bought a vacuum cleaner as the old one is falling apart.

I woke up with a heavy heart and I will keep it as that. When I reach campus later, I will take some time to pray about it.

Have a blessed day, everyone!

Re-Solutions

This morning I was feeling a little sad over a matter which once in a while affects me because I was reminiscing some happy memories. I know I should be happy since they are happy memories but when I compare then and now, things have changed and that is the sad part for me.

I know things will never remain the same but I cannot understand why it has to change so drastically. I am being vague here and I will keep it as that.

Sometimes I wonder some of the things I deliberately choose not to do are the right choices but I still feel that they have to be done for the sake of a situation or a person. I have never wanted it that way but sometimes I am forced to make decisions against my comfort zone and I pray they are doing good for a particular circumstance or individual.

Anyway, I think that is part and parcel of one's life journey where sometimes there are thorns which will be part of one's adventures. Of course I am also praying that things will improve over time and that is one thing I will keep on praying.

This morning I was reminded that I must always remain in Jesus, who is the vine. In my life there are many branches and there will always be some which are not bearing fruits. I must learn to allow Him to cut off these branches so that I can grow and develop to be the individual God has always wanted me to be. Many times I allow bad branches to hinder my growth in Him and other areas of my life and this should not be so.

Well, this leads me to the word "resolution" which is always part of one's agenda when entering into a new year. For me, I have learnt to see the word in a different light this year. I see "resolution" as "re-solution." This may just apply only in my life so please do not quote me when I define this word based on what I have experienced so far in my 40 years that I have been on earth.

I think there are many things in my life which I know I need to do but I do not do or not doing enough. Hence they hinder my growth and in the development of my character. Knowing what I need to do is already a solution but what happens when I do not use this solution. Well, the obvious thing to do is to try again and to me I would see this constant trying as "re-solution." because "re" basically means "again." It can also mean that one has been doing it but it needs to be an on-going action hence every year, the resolution is the same.

Do not be discouraged if you have not been keeping up with your resolutions. It is not the end of the road if you have failed... keep trying and that is where you will grow! It is only when you give up that you stop growing. And when making resolutions, consider those which will help you grow in character and in your outlook in life because these are ones which will last forever and beneficial to you!

In the past one year or so, there is only one thing I see as the MOST important thing that I need to keep doing and that is growing in my walk with God constantly. If ever I need to make resolutions, this is it! One and only because if my walk with God is right and growing, I know basically what I need to do with my life - in the areas of my relationships with my family and friends; in my life's goals; in understanding what money is to me; in seeing what I own as not mine; in being thankful in all circumstances be it good or bad; etc.

Well, I hope I make sense in my sharing above. Haha. :)

Anyway, it feels good that I need not work tomorrow because Mondays are my free days since I opted for a four-day work-week! It is not meant for me to wild them away but to use these off days to basically rest in the Lord, to spend time with my family and not forgetting my friends too. :)

Have a blessed week, everyone! :)

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples." John 15:1-8

Friday the 13th Is Just Another Day

Friday the 13th - a day many people are afraid of. A day when many would prefer not to take risk and play it safe. A day when every one is extra careful when crossing roads, switching on electrical appliances, etc.

This fear instilled upon humans are all man-made. Simply because 13 is considered an unlucky number due to it being irregular in numerology and Friday being considered inauspicious (e.g. Black Friday being associated with stock market crashes and even to the point of Jesus being crucified on a Friday) should not become a bondage upon any individual.

Every day there are deaths, suicides, divorces, accidents, earthquakes, etc. One should not think that Friday the 13th has a higher probability of all these misfortunes or calamities.

Today there are two misfortunes befalling upon two groups of friends - two dear siblings-in-Christ met with a vehicular accident but both are spared from serious injuries and another two dear siblings-in-Christ had to deal with a missing maid only to find out today that she has committed suicide.

When I posted the above-mentioned online, some messaged to inform me that it is due to Friday the 13th.

As much as it might seem coincidental, I reminded myself that fear is not of my God whom I worship, for fear is of this world. Even if fear is to grip me, I will pray and trust that my God will protect me and I will continue on with life. My God is greater than anyone and anything and I will at all times focus my eyes on Him than on all these folklore and superstitions.

So much for that. No point writing on such nonsensical matter.

This morning, my team had to give a presentation on the curriculum planning which we have been tasked to do for this semester. As much as we were anxious, we gave our best and thanks be to God, our proposal has been accepted. We were given the green light to carry on with our plans and I am already looking forward to them! Work will begin proper after the Lunar New Year celebration. For now, I have asked my team to concentrate on the celebration for now and be ready for our task ahead after the festive period.

Well, unlucky day? Nope, it was a happy and blessed day for my team and I! In fact, I praise God for blessing me with such enthusiastic team members even though we have worked together for only a week. All of them worked so hard this week. No one even complained about having to rush the presentation. We just wanted to do it once and do it well and it went that way. Hallelujah! :)

After the debrief I left campus to head for the hospital to meet the doctor and therapist. I was supposed to do so yesterday but it was postponed. I was updated on grandma's condition. Though I was informed that she has been a bit naughty lately by not wanting to do all the exercises required, her overall recovery progress is positive. There might just be a possibility that she will be home by next week. Well, that is good news! :)

I had to run some errands after that - to settle the medical bills for grandma's admission and surgery when she was in Tan Tock Seng Hospital for 22 days; had to go to the bank to settle some matters; then to an electrical fair in Suntec to check out some appliances which I need to buy for the apartment I rented in campus.

I also went to buy some new year goodies for my family in anticipation of the festive celebration which is just one week away.

As much as I am tired, I am glad I managed to complete all the To-Do list for the day. :)

Once again, unlucky day? Nah! This is the day that the Lord has made and I will rejoice in it! :)

Every Day Is A Blessing In Itself!

I am still feeling a little sleepy but I am thankful I am able to feel this way. Funny as it sounds but after yesterday's near-death accident while cycling, being able to wake up this morning to breathe in the fresh air and experience the sunrise is good enough for me.

It is the worst experience by far for me since I started cycling.

I was riding with a dear friend along the Changi Coastal Road. Nearing the midway mark, I decided to switch to the lower bar but while doing that, I suddenly lost control of the bike and started to swerve right which is to the outer lanes and towards the other side of the road where the oncoming traffic is.

I was all set to fall and praying that there would be no cars behind or in front of me. As I was anticipating that, I did not know how I was able to grab hold of one of the brakes and slowly stir myself from falling though the bike was wobbling badly. Till now, I do not know how I did that but I want to attribute it to the grace and mercy of God.

My friend did not see the incident as she was in front of me. When I regained my composure, I basically cycled back to the other side of the road and caught up with her.

This morning when I woke up and just lazed on bed, I reflected on yesterday's incident. The headwind last night was bad so I do not know whether that is one of the contributing factors. Frankly I am also not use to using the lower bar and that probably is the main cause of it all.

Anyway, I guess God knows that I should not get injured due to the three old folks whom I need to take care of but this incident has woken me up to the probable dangers which I need to be more aware the next time I cycle.

Have a blessed day everyone... every day is a blessing in itself - cherish it. :)

Ministry Work Is Everywhere And Anywhere!

I know I should be sleeping because tomorrow is my first day at work but I want to share something which I know it is not by chance but through God's divine appointment.

After dinner with two dear siblings-in-Christ in 112 Katong Mall, I wanted to take a cab home but having noted that the peak-hour surcharge now stretches to 12am, I decided to take the bus and then a train home.

Having alighted at my estate's train station, I walked in the tunnel to my apartment block. Towards the end I met this elderly lady (whom I spoke to quite some time ago) who stays just one block next to mine. I asked her why she was not taking the escalator. She told me she lost her Senior Citizen's Concession Pass and she was advised to go to Hougang Interchange tomorrow.

She asked me for directions to the above location. As she does not know which train station to alight, I advised her to take bus service 147 and just alight when it reaches the interchange and that would be where she can apply for a replacement card. I am glad that is a better option for her and she will do just that tomorrow.

I remembered her telling me before that she is attending a church so I asked how the experience has been for her. She said she is enjoying it. I think she could not remember that I told her before that I am a Christian so she asked me whether I am one. Immediately after I told her I am, she asked me to pray for her there and then for her giddiness and also arthritis. I felt awkward initially as we are in a public area but I know I should not reject her request.

I directed her to one corner outside the MRT station so that I could intercede for her. Just when I was about to tell her I could only pray for her in English, she asked whether I could do so in Mandarin. Man, that was when I panicked! Andy Chew praying in Mandarin?!!! Aiyoh!

Anyway, as I really wanted her to be blest and assured that God is going to heal her, I told her I would. We bowed our heads and there was a five-second silence. It was not that I was thinking of what to pray but I was actually crying out to God to help me speak in the language as requested.

The first word was like the first step I would take as I leap off a bridge in a bungee-jump but to my surprise, words after words just poured forth! After I ended with an "Amen!", I quickly asked the elderly lady whether she understood my prayer. She said she did. I wanted to be sure so I asked her what I prayed and she shared with me the contents.

My jaw dropped but I quickly fixed it back. I really praise God that He allowed me to speak a language which I am weak in but at that point it was powerful enough to minister to a person who wants to be healed by God. All glory to Him!

Well, all I hope now is that the lady is well! It is not my prayer that healed her. It is her faith in God which did! :)

The above encounter reminded me that ministry to others is everywhere and anywhere. It is not just confined in a church. :)

The Story About An Old Man

Let me tell you a story...

There is this old man who was happy that his family is celebrating his 80th birthday with a grand dinner! Prior to the big event, he was telling everyone about it. He was so proud of his family members.

Then came the BIG day. At the restaurant, every one shook the hand of the man, wished him a very happy birthday and gave him huge red packets with loads of money in them.

But that was all! Around the dinner table, everyone was talking to each other except to the elderly man. They did not want to listen to his life-story. His children were talking about the latest business ventures or stocks and his grandchildren were either playing amongst themselves or being glued to games on the iPhone, iPad or other gaming devices.

Throughout the feasting, the old man was alone even though there were many around him.

The above is basically an analogy of how we sometimes treat God when we go to church. The church is a place where God's children come together as a body to worship Him. He is supposed to be the main SUBJECT but sad to say, many a times, He is cast aside like the old man in the above story because other subjects became more attractive.

Christians sometimes go to church to meet up with friends to talk about everything and anything except God... about business opportunities, family holidays, gossips, shopping, etc.

If that is the case, then why go to church? Why not a country club? Or restaurants? Or a public area?

I basically have one thing to say... I am guilty! Guilty of treating church like a social club and not treating this place with reverence and with the awareness that God's presence is real in the church I attend.

I am glad I went to church this morning after having cycled about 70km from Potong Pasir to West Coast to Chinatown and back to Potong Pasir again. I was actually quite tempted to just stay home and chill but I felt that I needed to be in church to worship God with my spiritual family.

If I had chosen to skip church, I would not have heard about the above story. If I had not heard about the story, I would have sometimes gone to church for the wrong reasons.

Now, whenever I go to church, be on Sundays or any other days, I will tell myself I am going to a sacred place where it is all about God and no one else. It does not mean though that it gives me the excuse to skip church if I know my motive for that day is wrong. It should be a reflection just before leaving home to right a wrong. :)

How desperate am I for God? I sure hope I am more desperate for Him compared to other persons or areas in my life! He must and will always come first. It is a struggle and even if I have to make right this thought daily, I would gladly just do it! :)

Well, a very good reminder for me today! Praise the Lord!!!

I am nursing a strained lower left back! Whenever I walk too fast, it will hurt. If I sit down and apply too much pressure to my left, the back becomes very sore. I think I hurt it when I hit a pothole while cycling this morning to cheer three cycling kakis in their drive to raise funds for a care centre. Praise God for protecting the three of them and all those who were cycling with them in support of their noble effort!

I am glad a dear friend gave me a bottle of salonpas spray not too long ago for another injury. Now it has come in handy again. She advised that if it is still not well that I should apply Chinese oilment or medicinal plasters. As much as I dislike the smell of these two remedies, I may just consider them if the back still hurts bad. :)

Okie, I think it is time that I sleep.

Oh yah! I am starting work officially on Tuesday!!! *cheers* Back to teaching! My first - my one and only passion! I do not know what to expect but that is where the fun and thrill is! Well, a new journey with a new adventure and get paid to go through it some more! Looking forward to it as I did when I started in 1998! :)

I pray I will be a shining light in the place God has given me. May I be a testimony to all whom I will be in contact with! Tough at times when I am put to a test, I guess it is better to struggle with this than to be numbed to it!

Good night, world! Have a God-blessed week ahead!

Ta ta! :)

A Complaining Spirit Is Always About Self

This morning I woke up with no plans to do housework but looking at the state of my home, I decided to do so. My initial plan was to just laze around, watch a movie or two from this iPad application a dear friend downloaded for me, before visiting grandma.

Anyway, I started sweeping the floor. It did not help that strong wind was gushing into the house through the windows in the living room. Dust were flying everywhere. I had to close all of them before I could carry on. Then my dog started running around and kicking the pile of dirt I swept to the middle.

After that, I decided to mop the floor. Again my dog was in my way. She was walking around the house leaving paw-prints on the floor as it was damp. Dad came back from breakfast and stepped on the floor... leaving footprints now.

The complaining spirit within me began to manifest itself - grumbling as in why do I always have to be the one doing the housework, etc.?

It did not help that I realised the bedsheets have not been changed for a week and I told mum why is it that they have to wait for me to change them when they could have done it themselves?

Just before I started blogging the above thoughts, I sat down to catch a breather. It was here that I realised I should not have reacted the way I did and not said those words to mum.

From this episode, I was rebuked about how selfish I have been. This complaining attitude I had has nothing to do with others. It was all about me. I complained because I felt it was unfair that I needed to do all the work. I grumbled because I was telling myself I could have done this and that instead of sweeping and mopping the floor, changing the bedsheets and also doing the laundry. I told my mum off because in being so engrossed with myself, I have forgotten the feelings of others.

Well, a few things to note the next time I do housework: one is to do them with a happy attitude. If I think I will not be able to do so for that day, then leave the housework to another day when I am more prepared; two is to do it for others joyfully and with a heart of a servant; three, that all these housework will come to pass if I can just concentrate on the doing than the complaining.

Okay, just some thoughts that I want to share while waiting for the laundry to be done.

The washing machine just beeped. Time to hang the laundry! After that, off to see granny in hospital. :)

"Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Just Focus On The ONE!

I just finished all the paperwork for grandma's transfer to the Tan Tock Seng-Ren Ci hospital. She is there now for her rehabilitation programme which will probably take a month or so. Intensive physio-therapy sessions will also be carried out. I pray all these will aid grandma in the recovery process and that she will be able to walk again in no time! :)

I am spending some time now in the Coffee Bean outlet located at Millennia Walk. I decided to take some moment to be on my own and reflect on the year which has been tumultus but thanks be to God for pulling me through it.

Just the other day when I was feeling super-stretched having to take care of grandma and mum's hospitalisation and dealing with dad who is not taking responsibility in consuming his medication regularly, I told the Lord what a lousy year it has been.

That was my conclusion initially. It cannot be good when all these unpleasant events were experienced throughout the course of this year - at the beginning of 2011 I decided to take a break from work so as to pursue my desire to serve in the mission field but with my parents' ill-health and grandma's dementia, I had to shelf the idea.

Then came the stomach ulcers which I had to battle with. They were so painful that sometimes I could not even do or eat anything. They became so bad that I had to undergo a surgery to have a nerve removed and the ulcers patched up.

I had to also deal with issues involving my relationships with two individuals - one of them being very dear to me. It sometimes made me wonder whether it is worth it at all to invest so much of my time and effort in their lives when what I get in return is misunderstandings. Instead of fostering a closer bond, now a rift has formed and I do not know whether it would ever be mended. I am still praying daily that it would but that is all I can do for now. I have done whatever I could but situations remain as they are. One thing I learnt is this - as much as I love and care for these individuals, I realised at the end of the day, it is their lives and they are free to choose how to live them though I have sounded off my concerns. I have also learnt to be more tactful in sharing my burdens for them.

All these took a toll on me physically, emotionally and mentally. With the advice of some friends, I decided to go on a personal retreat to The Netherlands and that was a refreshing one for me - being away from the cares of this world and just spent time with God and on my own. I am grateful to two dear siblings-in-Christ's hospitality when I was there and also for their counsel.

Just when I thought the worse is over, it was not. Grandma was hospitalised when I was in the United Kingdom. She was admitted after having fainted at home. She was discharged a few days later after being nursed back to health. The reason for her fainting spell was related to her dementia where sometimes she forgot to eat. This led to her feeling weak and also having a Vitamin B12 deficiency which affected her memory power.

I thought the month of December would be a quiet one for me to prepare myself to go back to my teaching profession but again it was not to be. On the first day of the mission trip to Cambodia, grandma complained of an excruciating pain on the hip. She was rushed to the hospital and the doctors found out that she had a hip fracture after a x-ray was done. She sustained it when she had a fall at the market. She did not inform anyone about it and I only noticed her limp on the day when I was about to fly off to Cambodia. That same night she was admitted.

To add to my stress and anxiety, three days later, my brother message to inform me that mum was also admitted. She was down with Urinal Tract Infection and her blood glucose level was very high. I was on the verge of cutting short the mission trip so as to go back to help my brother but he told me to concentrate on my work with the mission team.

When I arrived home, I realised no decision was taken regarding grandma's fracture and it has already been more than a week. What angered me was the part where my cousins were not in favour of an operation, citing the reason that it may not be cost-effective due to grandma's old age.

When is it that age should be the deciding factor as to whether one deserves an operation or for that matter to live or die? EVERYONE deserves the right to live a good quality of life regardless of age! I told everybody off and reminded them that she is our grandmother and a human who deserves all the right to have her fracture rectified.

The most baffling thing is that the specialist has even recommended surgery after observing that grandma is fit to undergo the procedure despite of her old age.

Then when the day of surgery came, it had to be postponed because of diaper rash and urine infection. This added to everyone's concerns and stress level. Last week it reached a peak where it affected the mood of every member at home. Mum and dad quarreled. It did not help that my brother heard about it and decided to handle the squabble. I had to rush home to be the mediator.

When everything had calmed down, I just retreated and went somewhere to cry out to God for His intervention in all the above-mentioned. I felt very frustrated not being able to help grandma, my parents and my brother. I told the Lord I was at my wit's end.

If I had just concentrated on all the negative events above, then of course, the year is truly a nightmare. Then came these past few days when I decided to focus on the good part of the year and there were many too.

First of all, I get to rest from work and the fact that I am not working, I am able to handle all that had happened at home. It would have been more exhausting if I had to work and at the same time take care of the matters concerning home.

Though I am unable to serve as a missionary, I was able to focus on the Missions Committee which I was still chairing in the first 9 months of the year. I was also able to serve in the Youth Ministry which is another area of ministry dear to me.

Being able to go for a surgery to rectify my stomach ulcers was also something good though I had to go through the initial painful process. Now that it is over, I am free from the pain and the chances of having a recurrence are low.

The trips to The Netherlands, United Kingdom and Cambodia were also very refreshing for me. I cherished every moment especially marveling at the wonderful creation of God in other parts of the world.

I am also grateful to God for allowing me to enjoy an alternative sport which is cycling. Because of past injuries, I am unable to run or play any contact sports but when I participated in the Charity Bike 'n' Blade as a photographer, I was introduced to the world of cycling. I also made a lot of new friends from the event.

A dear friend, whom I got to know from the cycling trip, and I decided to check out some racing bikes when we came back. Each of us bought a bike after having visited several shops and we have been cycling since. It is a sport I now enjoy thoroughly because it has helped me do some exercise and I have lost a considerable amount of weight since. :)

I also praise God for allowing me to know friends like the one I mentioned in the above paragraph. Though it has just been a few months, I am glad that we have got to know each other better through the cycling sessions and also over meals and other leisure activities.

I have also joined three cycling groups - The Fellowship of the Ride, The Love Cycling Singapore and also The Christ Methodist Church Cycling Club! Though I only know most of them for a couple of months, some of them have already touched my life by praying for me during this difficult period.

That said, I am really thankful to God for giving me friends who have been there for me. They went the extra mile to ask for my prayer needs. Some even messaged me daily to ask how I am. Some even spent time with me over meals. They have indeed been a blessing and I will always remember their love and care forever.

I have to admit that if it were not for them, I would not have been able to pull through this period! God knows I am unable to handle matters on my own and He graciously provided these precious individuals to help me share the load! They have my promise that I will be there for them in their times of struggle. In helping one another, our journey here on earth is made easier to trod. :)

So is it still a lousy year? Nah! It is a matter of perspective. If I focus on the WHOM (God, that is), every trouble pales in comparison because my God is great and nothing is too big for Him to handle especially when it involves His children.

That said, my struggles will still be there but going into the new year, I will fix my eyes on Him and Him alone. Soon, all will come to pass and there will be many more years (whatever that is left) for me to look forward to. :)

If you think I am going to share my resolutions next... well, nope. I will save them for another day. :)

To God be the glory for 2011! :)

"Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever." Psalm 107:1