Christians Unite!

On my way home in the bus, my heart became very burden for churches everywhere in the world. This pain and burden came upon me when I was sharing with my sister about how certain churches are struggling. When I was sharing that, deep in my heart there was this deep passion for God's people and also certain anger I feel towards them as in how sometimes we Christians are the ones who are bringing downfall upon the churches by squabbling amongst ourselves, rather than building each other up; by rationalising too much, using our human wisdom and understanding to deal with problems rather than going on our knees and pray; by having too many programmes to do church; and by leaving weaker churches in a lurch rather than helping them back on track again.

Sometimes I wish and pray that God will unite all Christians, regardless of denominations, to come together and work as one! Basically to function as a BODY OF CHRIST! I think He wants that but it is the Christians, because of spiritual pride (whether they think they are right or wrong), who are the ones who do not desire for that to happen.

How nice it is if one church can share with another their joys and pains! How marvelous it is if churches can pray for one another than to waste energy by pinpointing the mistakes of another! My apologies if suddenly there is still strong feeling in what I share. My objective is that we begin by interceding for one another; to love one another; to walk with one another; and to work together in the Great Commission that God has given to all believers. Only when we can work towards that that Christ will be made known!

That's my take when I was spending time praying in the bus.

Well, I've let it out... for those who agree with what I've shared, pray with me; for those who disagree, still pray with me because we need to cover every brother and sister, every church in this world in prayer as we continue with our pilgrim's journey.

"I appeal to you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another so that there may be no divisions among you and that you may be perfectly united in mind and thought." 1 Corinthians 9:10

"And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep onpraying for all the saints." Ephesians 6:18

"Now the body is not made up of one part but of many. If the foot should say, "Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. And if the ear should say, "Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body. The eye cannot say to the hand, "I don't need you!" And the head cannot say to the feet, "I don't need you!" On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has combined the members of the body and has given greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it. Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it." 1 Corinthians 12:14-27

Desiring For More Of God!

This afternoon I suddenly felt this stagnation in my walk with the Lord and there is this dissatisfaction in me - basically that desire of wanting to know more of God in my life. There are several reasons to this emptiness I am experiencing:-

1) I feel that I have not been reading as much as I should the Word of God. Basically these questions popped up - how would I know the will of God in my life if I am not reading His Word? How would I discern what is right and wrong if His Word is not the lamp unto my feet and the light unto my path?

2) I have also lost the discipline of being quiet. Basically to be still and know that He is God! Many times when I am faced with the struggles of life, the reaction is to deal with them using my own wisdom and understanding. There were also occasions when I just wanted quick solutions. Then came the question - why not just take a step back, put that particular struggle aside, go somewhere quiet and be still? I used to do that very often even when I was busy to go to the breakwaters of certain beaches or to a reservoir and be still.

3) I have been praying daily but I guess my prayers are loads of requests asking God to do this and that but I guess prayers can also be asking God to help me say no to certain desires in my life. That is why certain questions keep hitting me - have I been praying in accordance to God's will? Have I been willing to wait and let God make all things beautiful in His time and not mine?

4) I used to sing songs of praise to God daily even when I was feeling down but I have stopped doing that regularly - if I do not practice giving praise to God at all times, then how would I ever be thankful regardless of the circumstances I am in?

5) I also miss meeting with a group of siblings-in-Christ in a cell group environment - basically to practice certain Christian disciplines of praising, studying God's Word, praying and fellowshipping.

6) Lastly I have been missing worship services quite regularly sometimes citing excuses that it does not meet my needs and that the whole flow was basically mechanical - basically going through the motion. But I guess the question here is this - if coming together on Sundays is to celebrate the discipline of corporate worship, then I should still go but at the same time, feedback to the pastors and leadership about certain observations I have of the service. Only by doing so will we be able to seek God and work together in enhancing the worship atmosphere of the church.

Well, this holy week will be set aside for me to wrestle with God on the above-mentioned. If I call myself a child of God, then I should desire the heart of my Father and look up to Him for directions? If not, this relationship is not authentic at all. If not, I will not be able to testify of His goodness to many who have yet to know Him? If I want Jesus to be made known, then I have to know Him first!

Having been off tangent for a while, my view of life and towards people have been quite negative. Two days ago my sister pointed out to me the heavy tone I used when speaking to my parents. She encouraged to change that.

I am thankful to my sister for pointing that out to me. This is precisely the result of my spiritual state and I am not happy with it!

"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." Matthew 6:33

A Thankless And Frustrating Task

My chest feels kind of tight since this evening when I was at Orchard Road. It has not been a good day for me.

When I was at home, I reminded grandma to turn off the tap while she was cooking. It has happened many times. When she heard my comment, she took offense of it and remarked that she might as well not cook for the family. I tried to control myself but when she ranted on, I reminded her that she need not prepare meals for the family since lately she has not been well.

As I did not want to blow up the matter further, I just left the house.

It did not help the situation when an appointment I had for the evening was cancelled. That frustrated me even more. In fact I was waiting for a confirmation the whole day as to where and when the appointment would be. I even cancelled another appointment just so I could go for this particular one.

I don't know... sometimes I feel tired sparing a thought for others but what I get in return is something negative. It sounds like a very "me, myself and I" mentality but it has reached a point where I wonder should I even care at all.

Anyway, I spent some time in quiet with God at Fort Canning Hill but left for home to rest as I felt unwell.

I thought what I resolved to do when I was in London could be practised when I got back but I guess it is easier said than done. I hope God will help me to press on.

Time Spent With God Is No Time Wasted At All

It will be a matter of a few more days and I will be back to sunny and humid Singapore. As much as I do not want to go back as I prefer the cold climate than hot, I guess I have to face the fact and gear myself up for home.

I also realised going on holidays gives one this unreal sense of being free from all cares and worries. It just makes one not looking forward to going back to the real world when the vacation nears its end.

I am feeling that now because I know when I go home, it is back to taking care of my parents and grandma's needs, handling the loads of issues concerning the ministries I am serving in church, worrying about the expenses of the family, etc.

Anyway, I had a good time spent with God on these burdens when I was strolling in Kensington Garden for two hours in the morning. It was very cold but I enjoyed every minute spent communing with my Master and allowing Him to just speak words of assurance that everything is going to be alright when I go back.

The past few months I have been depending a lot on my own strength dealing with matters at home and it has taken a toll on me physically, emotionally, mentally and even spiritually. This morning's devotion with God at the park reminded me of those times when I would go to the beach or reservoir to just be still before the Lord. I guess I will do more of that when I am in Singapore.

Well, that is all my thoughts for today.

I am very much refreshed. Praise the Lord!

Hello From Chilly London!

It is 9.15pm here. After 4 days here in London, I thought I jot down some thoughts. The weather has been cold, temperature ranging between 1 to 10 degrees Celsius. On Friday when I arrived it was raining and it was the same the next day. Yesterday was the crossover from winter to spring. Apparently spring came early as it was initially scheduled to arrive in mid-March. The past two days have been sunny but it was still freezing.

I love the weather here. The thought of having to go back to Singapore in the sweltering heat just saddens me. My sister told me that the temperature back home has heat a high of 35 degrees Celsius. That is scary!

Anyway, God has been good throughout the trip. The flight went well though it was long. I almost died of boredom towards the last leg. In the plane, I was a little concerned as to whether the match tickets between Liverpool and Blackburn would arrive at the hotel in time or at all. During check-in, I enquired and praise the Lord they were delivered to the front-desk.

It was off to Liverpool on Sunday morning. I decided to go early as I wanted to see a little of the city centre. Then it was off to Anfield Stadium. I wanted to buy some souvenirs from the shop but as it was match-day, the place was crowded. In the end I did not buy any.

It feels good to be back at Anfield watching the Reds play. The last time I watched them 'live' was back in 1998 when I was studying in Cambridge. Then it was against Manchester United which I paid a bomb!!! 300 pounds and the exchange rate was a whopping 3.1!!!

The match was alright - it was not as exciting but it still felt good to be in the stadium. Haha. My friend and I left early as he needed to be back in London as he has an appointment with his course superviser in the morning. Anyway, glad the Reds won 2-1 and it was both nice goals - each from Steven Gerrard and Fernando Torres.

The past two days have been a good time spent on my own and also with the Lord. I basically did photography - taking pictures of Big Ben, the Parliament House, Westminster Abbey, the London Eye, the River Thames, Buckingham Palace and Green Park where I did some nature photography.

At Buckingham Palace there was an incident where this guy who seemed to be a tourist decided to climb on this pillar of one of the gates which is about three-storey high. He seemed to be troubled as he tore what seemed to be a letter. Then two police cars arrived. The man was instructed to come down. While he was attempting to do so through a hole in the statue, he got stuck for about 15 minute. He decided to try again by slipping through his clothes and he was successful but this was where many and I feared he may lose balance and fall off the pillar. Thank God nothing happened. Three fire engines came and with the aid of a ladder the man was down. By then there were four fire engines and six police cars.

Anyway, while I was in the park walking I prayed for my loved ones especially my family back home. It is so weird that when I was with them, I wanted to be away from them but now that I am here in London, I miss them loads. God spoke to me about how I should continue to bear with my parents and grandma though they are now not as healthy as before and because of this they have become sort of an inconvenience for my brother and I.

It is precisely this attitude that I need to repent from because there should not be any entertainment of thoughts that my parents and grandma should ever be seen as inconveniences because God has given us each other for a reason and that is to bear with each other no matter how tough the going may be.

It was a selfish thought on my part to have behaved that way - that was why I was so frustrated and angry. It is easy to write the above thoughts but I will try to change my attitude so as to obey God and also to build my family.

I went to Cambridge this morning and I was there till the late afternoon. I wanted to see whether the university town has changed after 12 years. Well, most looked the same though certain landmarks like King's College is going through some upgrading.

I visited Trinity College and managed to meet some teaching staff whom I got to know during my stint back in 1998. I am surprised some of them could still recognise me. Haha. Probably now I am much rounder. Talk about that, I think I have put on quite a bit since arriving. I have been eating more and drinking more carbonated drinks. Maybe it is because the weather has been cold but I guess I can exercise more discipline and control my diet.

When I was walking along the streets of Cambridge and also while I was at Duxford Imperial War Museum, I gave some thoughts to my desire to serve as a missionary in Camboda. I do not know exactly why but in my heart I just feel that I am not ready. Maybe it is because of my concerns for my family especially my ailing parents and grandma. With my brother getting married some time this year and moving out of the family, this adds on to the concern.

Anyway, I shall continue to seek the Lord on this as I continue to spend time with Him the next few days.

Okie, I shall stop here. I am tired.

I will write more when I have the chance to.

Good morning to all back in Singapore and good night London!

Pilgrim's Journey At One Of Its Lows

Sometimes I wish others can be more understanding and discerning to my struggles as much as I am also learning to be so to them. It is even more painful to know that these persons are ones whom I hold dear to in my heart.

Situations between dad and I have not improved. He is still behaving in a manner as if all these while I am the one in the wrong. What have I done wrong when what I did was to advise him to watch his diet which he has not been doing so lately? Is it not right to care for his physical well-being when records of his glucose level have not been ideal?

Anyway, as much as I know what I should do as a Christian, we are not on talking terms and I guess I will leave it as that for now. In the past whenever we had conflicts I would be the first to seek reconciliation regardless of whether I am in the right or wrong but I feel this time round I will stay put and not make any move.

Though I want to, I shall not let this act of reconciliation be seen as an avenue where he will continue to abuse it. I also do not want this to be seen as a weakness. Otherwise it will dilute the whole idea of restoration of relationships.

It is a lousy feeling but I shall stand firm on my decision.

Another incident today also kind of affected me. I was supposed to have a meal with someone whom I am close with as I wanted to share something which I am hoping the person can pray for me before I leave for my London trip tomorrow. Without informing me, this dear sibling brought some friends along. Yes, though I did not inform this person that I have something to share but I felt that I should be informed of the added company.

Lately, my pilgrim's journey has been in shambles because of the struggles I am facing at home. I am not complaining that I have to deal with these matters but sometimes they can be overwhelming. All these have of course affected the other areas of my life and also certain plans I have in mind. It is frustrating but I pray that God will help me find ways to cope.

That is why I am looking forward to my trip as I need to go somewhere away from home to catch a breather, reorganise and be refreshed. It is long overdue. I hope God will guide me along in the next nine days.

Well, I hope I have not stumbled anyone during this period of mess in my life.

Looking forward to getting my life back on track again.

Lord, Help Me To Continue To Love

I am very angry! Yes, you did not read wrong. I am super angry with dad for always provoking others who have been showing care and concern toward him. It was a supposed routine check of his blood glucose level and in the process of doing that I asked him whether he has been eating the new year goodies because they have depleted quite a bit since the last time I checked. I know no one else at home would eat them as they do not really like such stuff. Only dad is the one who usually munches them.

When I asked him, he started showing his colours and made remarks which caused me to raise my voice a little. When I did that he said I was being rude and that I should show more respect to him. When I heard that, I got angrier. In front of him, I gathered all the new year goodies and threw them into the dustbin.

I'd rather wasting these tidbits than to see dad having another relapse.

It hurts when you show love and care for someone dear to you and in return they do not appreciate them.

I will show respect to every one but when it is being abused I will speak my peace regardless of whether you are my elder or not. Respect is not a right; it has to be earned.

Anyway, I need to share this out - if not I will just explode.

I will spend some time in quiet with God and hope He will help me simmer down.

Wit's End Or Not, God Is There

Sometimes I am at my wit's end as to how to take care of my elderly parents and grandma. When I tell them something which is supposed to be beneficial for their physical well-being, they would react with a "do-not-tell-me-what-to-do" look.

As I have feared for dad not being able to control his diet during the Lunar New Year period by eating all the sweet tidbits for guests, I warned him to watch what he eats and drinks. As I cannot be there all the time to observe his every move, I have to give him the benefit of the doubt.

Well, this afternoon I took his blood glucose level and it was a whopping 15.5mmol/L. Suspecting that he has been keeping mum about his diet, I probed and he confessed that he has been eating the tidbits.

At that point, I just did not know whether I should raise my voice in disapproval or just give up because this "do-not-tell-me-what-to-do" attitude is quickly killing him! Maybe he should get another stroke just to further wake up his idea!

It is just so draining. Grandma is also going through a tough time lately as her gum is giving her a lot of pain. Sometimes she would wake up in the middle of the night groaning in pain. She went to see the doctor just now and has been prescribed some medication to counter the discomfort, I really pray God will heal her.

I do not know how long I can last handling all these old-age issues at home but I guess I have to trust God to help the family go through this transition where more than half the family is no more as independent as before.

I need to be more patient though sometimes it is just so tough but for the sake of every one, I guess I have to.

Man, I thought working is tough... taking care of old folks at home is tougher. Just handling matters at home has taken a lot of my time off to concentrate on other commitments I have, like the ministries in church and my plans for the future. I simply have no more energy to do other

things.

Though my journey so far has been tiring, I am not going to give up on my family just because three of them are well along in years. I just need to learn how to cope and I trust that God will teach me along the way.

I need to breathe and I am looking forward to my short trip to London next Friday. I wish it could have been a longer trip but I guess I need to be thankful that God is giving me this opportunity to take a break.

Well, the Lunar New Year has been quite tiring, having to entertain the many relatives who popped over but it was a great time spent with them. In some of the new year greetings I sent to friends, I encouraged them to make Jesus known to the relatives and friends whom they are visiting. I have been doing that by praying for them and letting them know that I will continue to pray for them. Well, just wanting to plan the seed first and allow God to work the rest.
I shall end here.

"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.” Romans 8:35 & 37

Bless Someone This Lunar New Year!

First of all, a blessed Lunar New Year to all the Chinese and a Happy Valentine's Day to all!

I was contemplating whether to blog because it has been a long day for me yesterday. I had to run some errands in the morning; cook for last night's reunion dinner; bathe my Peach-Face Love-Bird and Silky Terrier; and then do a major mopping of the whole house and also other small little areas which need some clean-up.

My fingers are all wringled up; my back is aching; my skin is a little itchy (probably from contact with detergents of all sorts); my nose sniffing from too much dust flying around; and knees a little painful due to my osteo-arthritis. Haha. Yes, getting old is it!

Anyway, I still have to stay awake as I am doing the laundry and waiting for the washing machine to beep so that I can start hanging out the clothes!

I do not know why but this Chinese New Year ("CNY") I was reminded of a sermon preached by my church's assistant pastor (last year, I think) where he encouraged the congregation to bless the relatives and friends whom we are visiting with the love of Jesus and to pray for their household. I guess I am going to do that since this year's CNY coincides with Valentine's Day.

From the past few day's of spring-cleaning, I was also reminded of my life in which it also needs some sprucing up. I guess it is important to spring-clean our lives once in a while so that we can purge all that is unpleasing in the eyes of God and only entertain what is beneficial to our daily pilgrim's journey. I guess this is part and parcel of the sanctification process where we need to deliberately repent from ALL sins in our lives. Of course it does not necessarily always happen overnight but throughout the journey, we need to cast away these sins.

This is a good wake-up call as I have not been diligent in taking care of my walk with the Lord lately. Well, I pray I will begin to let God to take full control of my life again and from there allow Him to mould me as He deems appropriate.

I am still tired physically, emotionally and mentally with my parents and grandma's ill-health but praise the Lord that things are getting better at home. The physio-therapist will be releasing dad sometime next week as dad is able to be independent again after his recent stroke!

God is indeed good! I am still concern for grandma whose memory is failing her quite badly. I am trying as much as I can to affirm her each time she does something right or she could remember something so as to let her know that she is still appreciated. Sometimes I must confess that my patience run short when dealing with her constant forgetfulness but I am trying my best to give her the benefit of the doubt and be more sensitive as I know this condition is something she cannot really control.

Mum seems okay and I pray God will continue to sustain her this way.

Well, that said! I am looking forward to a short far-away trip so as to allow me to catch a breather from things at home and also in church as in the ministries I am serving in. Though I am going with a dear brother-in-Christ, I am going to take some time just to go on a personal retreat so as to reflect and evaluate my priorities. May the Lord direct me accordingly and allow this trip to be a refreshing and fruitful one.

Okay, I have blogged enough. I am tired and laundry is almost done!

Good night, world!

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16

Pilgrim's Journey Still Must Go On

Just took dad's blood glucose test and it registered 14.4mmol/L on the meter. That is cause for concern because it is quite high. Anyway, I prayed for him and hope that the Lord will help bring down the glucose level to a healthier level. I also need to review what he has been eating to ensure that his condition will improve in the next few days.

Since my last blog, it has been about home mainly. It is less tiring but handling home matters still sucks up a considerable amount of my energy which could have been channelled for other areas of my life. I guess those have to wait. Anyway, all thanks to God for sustaining every one at home.

I seriously need a break. By that I mean going away to somewhere far away. It may happen at the end of the month but the plan is not fixed yet. I will be contented with just doing photography. Well, I shall write more when the trip is finalised.

My walk with the Lord can be better and I hope to get back on track again. Lately I have not been able to give my all for the ministries I have committed myself to. I also need to watch the way I carry myself lest I stumble someone if my life is not in check from time to time. It is a struggle because every day I feel exhausted. Haha.

Well, that is all for now. The pilgrim's journey still has to go on! May the Lord be my guide and strength. :)

"Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful." Joshua 1:8

Three Deaths and An Accident

In one day I encountered three cases of death and one major accident involving a warehouse fire.

While I was walking towards the community centre in my estate, I saw a pair of legs sticking out of a police make-shift tent. When I asked one of the passers-by what had happened, I was told that man had a heart attack and died on the spot.

Then when I was in the bus on my way to the hospital to visit dad, I witness a warehouse fire along Upper Serangoon Road. There were several fire engines and ambulances at the scene. I just hope there were no fatalities or serious injuries.

Next was when I arrived at the ward where dad is. I noticed the bed on his left was totally empty (mattress and pillows all removed). Dad told me that the patient passed away in the middle of last night. I have been talking to his family members for the past few days and once in a while I would pray for the elderly patient.

In the afternoon while I was running some errands, I received an email from a dear English missionary to Cambodia informing me that her father had just passed away and the cremation was just two days ago.

Wow! Too many sad news to handle in one day. Once again I was reminded of how fleeting life can be.

Anyway, I just pray that God will bring comfort to the families of these individuals who have passed on. May their hearts be healed in His time.

Dad may be discharged tomorrow. It is not the suggestion of the doctors but dad's. As this is his first time being warded, I guess the death of the patient next to him and the sound of all the equipment around him are just too much for him. It is not confirmed yet that dad can come home. The doctor will inform me tomorrow when he looks at the report of dad's progress.

Well, dad is generally much better compared to the day he was sent to the Accident and Emergency Department. He is now experiencing a very sore throat. His physio-therapist is pleased with his mobility though he still has to be careful when he moves from one spot to another.

My honest opinion is that dad should remain in the hospital for a few more days but if he is unable to rest well because of the surroundings, then I guess it is better to be home. I just have to prepare myself to ensure that he is able to cope well at home without medical care by the professionals.

I should stop here as I am tired. I have been feeling this way the past few days already. Thanks be to God for sustaining the family and I! He is good all the time!!!

Good night, everyone! :)

His Mercies Are New Every Morning

Dad was admitted into hospital this afternoon for stroke. For a man who has never stayed in hospital all his life, being a first came as a surprise to all at home especially when he has been in the pink of health for most of his 76 years except for a short period when he was diagnosed to have mild diabetes, which happened many years ago. This also happened quite suddenly.

He was on his way to church with mum when his legs just lost control and he fell in the bus. This was not the first time as he had experienced that last night - he could not get up after being on the sofa. He managed to after a while but while he was trying to carry my doggy, he fell. He seemed ok before he went to sleep. This morning before I left for church, he looked fine too.

Anyway, my cousin went to pick mum and dad up where the incident happened and I told him to bring dad to the Accident and Emergency Department though dad was adamant that he did not want to. I was told he even shouted at mum for insisting.

I rushed with my sister to Tan Tock Seng Hospital and when my cousin's car arrived, dad could not even alight on his own. His legs were like jelly and I had to carry him out and place him on a wheelchair.

The doctor ran some initial tests and found that his sugar level and blood pressure were high. Dad's right side of the body was affected. A CT scan was also done but could not find any clots. Praise God for that! The medical staff tried to do a MRI but while dad was in the chamber he got so scared that he asked to be brought out. The test was cancelled.

I just received a call from dad - he said he is unable to sleep. I guess it is natural especially in a place he kind of dread to go since he has been there so often when he was taking care of mum while she was recovering from her stroke.

Anyway, I felt super discouraged when I was told of dad's condition in the morning when I got a call from mum. I am still in the midst of recovering from my tiredness when now I have to deal again with another health issue of another family member. I was hoping I will never have to visit a hospital again but I guess not. For a moment I felt angry!

In the evening I spent some time with God and surrendered dad's health to Him. In a moment of silence, God told me this incident is not about me. I guess that was a timely message because this incident is definitely not about me but dad. Yes, it is an inconvenience for me but at the end of it all, it is about dad.

When I was able to grasp that fact, I realised I needed to let go and allow God to do the healing work on my dad in His time. I also told the Lord to use me as a vessel of peace and encouragement to dad. He needs all these now rather than me falling into a state of self-pity and anger. No point wasting my energy on these when it can be channelled to something good for dad.

It was a good time spent as it helped change my perspective.

I am also grateful to the many siblings-in-Christ who have been supporting dad in prayers.

Anyway, I shall end here and get some sleep now. A new day awaits tomorrow and I know God's mercies are new every morning.

"Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him." The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him..." Lamentations 3:22-25

Heal The Sick

Towards the late afternoon, I went to Chinatown to buy some toiletries from a shop which mum and I have patronised for years. As I was waiting for the lift, I noticed an elderly woman seated at a bench in the hawker centre. What caught my attention was not her dozing off but her pair of legs. It was so swollen that the size is three times that of a pair of healthy legs.

My heart went out to her and as the lift door closed, I said a prayer of healing for the lady.

I am sharing this because as I am blogging this encounter, channel 8 is featuring a documentary and guess what? It is about the lady.

Apparently she had a fall two years ago and was hospitalised. When she was discharged, apparently she did not take her medication proper. That led to infection of the legs where the swell is due to the accumulation of pus. To make matters worse, the pus oozes out as she walks and it leaves a foul smell.

The documentary also featured her home which the lady refused to let the television crew in as the place was very messy. The neighbours whom the presenter spoke to complained about the smell diffusing from the lady's home and said that the authorities have offered her medical help but she refused.

I do not know whether is it because the lady is too poor to seek medical treatment or she is simply just being stubborn but I pray God will provide a way for the lady.

I think I will try to strike a conversation with her the next time I see her. I am sure there is a reason why God allowed me to encounter her twice in a day.

Anyway, please keep her in your prayers. I cannot remember the name of the lady. I believe God will bring healing. :)

Refresh Me, O God!

I just realised this is my first blog for 2010. Well, sad to say, I have to start it off with a news not that encouraging - I am tired, in all sense of the word. It is just so weird to have to confess this especially when it is only 11 days into the new year.

Eversince I came back from the mission trip last month, I have not been able to rest. I have to nurse a very bad tummy which took almost two weeks to heal. I am sick again and it happened last Thursday. I was down with initially a fever, then the flu... now I still have the flu (worse than before) and on top of that, sore throat and cough.

I really want a break as in perhaps going somewhere far away to just refresh myself (I realised I have not done so for more than three years already) but looking at the number of commitments I have to deal with, I do not know where I can find a slot to do so. Everyone and everything seem to be crying out for my attention.

It comes to a point where I just feel like exploding. In fact, the past few weeks, there were already signs of my exhaustion but I ignored them - I have been feeling frustrated; I have been complaining; I have been judging... today reaches a point where I just cannot take it anymore.

I had to deal with a situation pertaining to my ministry. To me, it was a straight-forward matter but along the way, the issue got worse. When I got a call to ask me to speak to a particular leader direct, I did and my tone was not gracious at all. When I have composed myself, I will find an opportunity to seek forgiveness from the brother-in-Christ.

Yesterday I was rostered to lead in the praise and worship for the 11.15am service. It was by God's grace that everything went well. I say this because last week when I was preparing for it, I did not put in my heart and soul to it. Then of course when I fell ill, it just worsened things.

During the rehearsal, I was just going through the motion and when there were some hiccups and needed ideas to rectify them, my mind was simply a blank.

On Saturday I cried out to the Lord in desperation... I told Him that whatever was going to happen at the service is not about me but Him. I do not want my struggles to be the focus as I am just an instrument. I pleaded with the Lord to make right what was wrong.

God being God, He heard my cries and guided me every step of the way. I was encouraged when I received a few affirmations after the service. All glory to Him!!!

Tomorrow I have two meetings... as much as I do not want to attend them, I prayed and asked the Lord to just help me through them. Anyway, I will share this with one of the pastors soon as I want to account my current struggles with either one of them. I do not want my human limitations to cause anymore persons to be stumbled.

For those of you who are reading my blogs, please keep me in your prayers. I covet that for now.

Time for me to stop here.

Good night, all.

"Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:28-31

Bye, 2009. Hello, 2010!

It is the eve of the new year. I am now in church, waiting for a youth programme, "Surrender," to begin. It is a time for the youths to come together and evaluate on the year 2009 and for them to surrender their plans for the next year to God.

Time flies that we are now going into the first decade of the millennium which seems to zoom by so quickly.

2009 has been a year of turmoil (not necessarily bad if I may just add) for me - considering what is the next step God wants me to take and to actually obey Him regardless of whether I like the directions He is showing me, which usually are those that stir the comfort zone I have been in.

It has been 11 years since I entered the teaching profession - I have to say they have been wonderful moments especially in the many lives I have encountered each year. As much as I enjoyed being a teacher, there is still a void in me which has been causing me to consider the calling I have received from God many years back (when I was in the Methodist Youth Fellowship) to go into the full-time ministry.

I shelved this idea as I have been advised by my mentors to consider teaching in an academic institution as a mission field. No doubt it has been but after all these years, I felt it is time for me to consider the next step. There is no confirmation as yet but I shall make concrete plans to see how and where God is leading me. The year 2010 will be that period for me to search.

2009 has been a trying year too as I have to handle a lot of issues at home especially mum's health. All thanks and praise to God that she has recovered and is now up and running though I have to caution her once in a while to go easy. I had to also deal with grandma and dad who were very affected but God is always good to see them through their anxieties.

The last few months of this year have not been good for my walk with the Lord as I suddenly felt this sense of tiredness - not to the point of burning out but more so feeling very drained wondering what God wants me to do with my life. A lot of things I have to handle in the Missions Ministry also took up a lot of my energy but praise God the Missions Committee members were there to share the load.

The above-mentioned sometimes led to frustrations and it is obvious especially to those who are closer to me.

Anyway, I am looking forward to the year ahead. Whatever the Lord wants me to go through, I shall do so. I also need to start to get back on track again so that I can listen to God more clearly as I pray; as I read His Word; and as I be still and let Him speak.

I shall end here for now. :)

Have a blessed and adventurous 2010, everyone!!! :)

“This is what the LORD says— he who made a way through the sea, a path through the mighty waters, "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.” Isaiah 43:16, 18-19

A Short Break I Need

I am now at the airport, waiting to board the plane to Kuala Lumpur to link up with a few friends who drove up to the Malaysian capital this morning. Though it is not a trip to a faraway land, I am still looking forward to a good break after a hectic two weeks of being away in Cambodia and also coordinating two dear friends' weddng which ended this afternoon. In fact it has been a hectic couple of months, having to prepare for three mission/Vacation-With-A-Purpose trips.

Praise the Lord the wedding went as planned. Indeed He is good! I enjoyed myself coordinating the whole event and I am happy that two more friends have tied the knot and now living their lives together as one. May the Lord continue to lead and guide them as they enter this new chapter of their lives.

As always, the parents of the bride asked when it would be my turn and my answer will always be if God so desires me to have a life partner, surely He will show me that someone who shares the same calling in serving the Lord actively. And for those who know me well enough, that also means praying for courage to make the move. I have regretted not doing so not too long ago - though I regret it now but I guess it is a lesson learnt.

Anyway, the mission trip with the youths was good as I got to know each one of them better but out of the 12 of us who went, 11 (including me) came back with suspected food poisoning of varying intensity. I had to see the doctor twice in order for my tummy to get well. Two youths had to be hospitalised as a precautionary measure but praise God they are now discharged and reccovering well.

Of the more than 20 times I have been to Cambodia, this is the worst of them all but God is merciful and good to restore us back almost to full health.

There were a few times during the trip when I wanted to call it quits in leading youth teams because it is a heavy responsibility having to take care of sons and daughters of parents who have painstakingly brought them up to who they are now. Sometimes the fear is there that something might happen to them and I am to be blamed for it.

Anyway, in the end I learnt that God is in charge. With that, I guess I will continue to lead teams up to anywhere in the world so that God's name may be preached to those who have yet to hear of Him.

Well, time for me to end here.

I shall write more soon.

Have a blessed week, everyone! :)

Compassion for My Neighbours

I have been busy the past few weeks that I did not have the time and energy to blog. I decided to do so today - better than never, I guess.

Anyway, on my way back just now, I saw this elderly man standing in front of me. He is probably in his late seventies. Ever had this experience where you see someone and suddenly you feel like crying? Well, that was precisely how I felt. I think he has cataract on both his eyes. He was frail and in his pocket was a slip of paper where the man's particulars were on it. I guess it is to allow strangers or the relevant authorities to send him home should he get lost.

Well, I was quite disappointed that no one in the train offered their seats to him, even for those who were sitting on the "reserved" seats for those who need them most. Anyway, I asked him whether he needed a seat and it was then that I realised the lady behind him was either his daughter or relative. She said it was alright.

As I continued on my journey, I suddenly felt the need to pray for the man. I asked the Lord to restore his sight so that he can see clearly again. I hope my faith in the Lord will cause the man to be healed. I guess I need not see it to believe so I shall leave it to God to do the healing process.

Well, tomorrow onwards I will be seeing more who are like this man when I go to Cambodia on a mission trip with the Youth Ministry team. Sometimes it can be emotionally draining when you see the injustices of this fallen world. I guess I shall channel my disappointment to one of hope as I pray for the Lord to remove the pain and poverty of many around us - our neighbours, those who are in need basically.

I covet the prayers of those who are reading this blog as 11 youths and I spend 6 days in Phnom Penh - these few days may not be enough to change the world but if we can make a difference in at least one person's life, all thanks to God! :)

Time for me to stop here and do some packing.

Till I blog again, the Lord bless and keep you all. :)

"On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. "Teacher," he asked, "what must I do to inherit eternal life?" "What is written in the Law?" he replied. "How do you read it?" He answered: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'" "You have answered correctly," Jesus replied. "Do this and you will live." But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, "And who is my neighbor?" In reply Jesus said: "A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he fell into the hands of robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, took him to an inn and took care of him. The next day he took out two silver coins and gave them to the innkeeper. 'Look after him,' he said, 'and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.' "Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?" The expert in the law replied, "The one who had mercy on him." Jesus told him, "Go and do likewise." Luke 10:25-37

Accountability To One Another

Last Sunday I thought my busy week was over but came Monday, I realised it was not to be. Another week has gone by and I should think this new week would be a more breathable one. Haha.

I am now at the airport waiting for the arrival of the mission team from the Women Society of Christian Service ministry. They have been in Cambodia since Thursday- I pray their time spent with the Khmers was a fruitful and ministering one.

It has been a long day for me. After attending the 8.45am service, I went out to have brunch with my sister. It was a merry-go-round for us. We were planning to eat dim sum in the East but the restaurant has closed down. We then headed to the one in the North but realised it was not the branch of the one in the East. In the end, we settled for sushies. :)

Anyway, it was back to church again to prepare for the Youth Ministry Mission Team meeting. We started at 2.00pm with devotion and prayer, followed by a run-through of the activities which we will be doing in Cambodia. After that we practised the magic tricks and balloon-sculpting we learnt in the early phase of the training segment. Before we closed I conducted a security and trip briefing.

By then it was already 5.00pm. I was so tempted to go home and rest for a while but decided against it as I knew then I would not want to go out again. Anyway, I headed for town to run some errands before taking the train to the airport.

I just finished dinner - had pasta at a fusion restaurant and I am now at a cafe waiting for the ladies to leave the baggage area.

Well, yesterday I attended a leaders' training session where it touched on accountability. I was reminded of the importance to account my life to a group of closer siblings-in-Christ so that they can help keep my walk in check and in step. I have two accountability groups - one with brothers around my age and the other to a group of younger brothers.

As much as I would love to spend more time with them, I realised lately it has been tough due to family commitments. It has been a struggle to fellowship with all 6 of them. I am praying and working on being regular again.

I learnt yesterday that if I cherish accounting my life to others, then I would make time to meet my siblings-in-Christ. If I really cannot, I probably could update my status to them via email. I guess the essential thing is not to break the communication.

Okie, time for me to stop here. I shall blog again soon.

Have a blessed week ahead!

My Alabaster Jar

ALABASTER JAR

Verse 1:
This alabaster jar is all I have of worth.
I break it at Your feet, Lord,
it's less than You deserve.
You're far more beautiful,
more precious than the oil.
The sum of my desires
and the fullness of my joy!

Pre-Chorus:
Like you spilled Your blood,
I spill my heart
as an offering to my King.

Chorus:
Here I am, take me,
as an offering.
Here I am, giving every heartbeat
for Your glory.
Take me.

Verse 2:
This time that I have left
is all I have of worth.
I lay it at Your feet, Lord,
it's less than You deserve.
And though I've little strength
and though my days are few,
You gave Your life to me
so, I will live my life for You.

I am leading worship at the 11.15am service on Sunday. Since last week, I have been considering what songs should be used. Though on Monday I sent out the list to the Worship Team, I was still not satisfied with the choices. It was mainly due to the songs being sung too many times already. There is nothing wrong in that but I just did not have the peace. There was a time when I asked the Lord to just provide me with at least a new song though I have not updated myself with the latest.

Anyway, in the course of this week I was in church to print out the Missions Ministry Newsletters to be distributed to members and friends on Sunday as it is Missions Emphasis Sunday. One of the church staff was reading the introduction I wrote and it reminded her of a song she sang in the church her husband is pastoring.

Last night she emailed me a link in YouTube where she introduced me the above song by Gateway Worship. I listened to it and immediately it clicked - the words are so appropriate for this week's theme. After viewing the clip, I emailed the Worship Team - sent them the link and the lyrics with chords and messaged them to read the mail.

Well, we met just now for a rehearsal and the song linked well with the rest! Hallelujah! :)

I like the words where they speak of giving God our all and not just a fraction of our lives or time or only when we have some spare moments then we avail ourselves for Him to use us.

I was just sharing with the team that even if we give our all to Him, it pales in comparison what God has given to us or done for us - his death on the cross for our sins and the gift of eternal life for those who believe in Him!

I guess it is the same to answering to the Great Commission Jesus has given to His children. It is not only when we have the time or when we feel like it then we tell others about God. It is about obedient to this command (not a request, mind you) - it is about sharing with others what God has done all the time.

Well, I learnt one thing about sharing God with others all the time - I need to have a living relationship with God daily. If I am constantly learning from the Lord, encountering Him, then it would be a natural thing for me to want to tell others about Jesus. In fact people will see Jesus in my life because of the way I live.

It is a challenge and struggle but it is not impossible. I pray that I will continually grow in the Lord and I am praying this for my siblings-in-Christ too.

I have a lot of things to share concerning this week but I will leave them to another day! Looking forward to the "A Day of Prayer for Missions" tomorrow! :)

Good night, all! Have a restful weekend ahead!

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will — to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding. And he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ, to be put into effect when the times will have reached their fulfillment—to bring all things in heaven and on earth together under one head, even Christ. In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, in order that we, who were the first to hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory. And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession—to the praise of his glory. For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way." Ephesians 1:3-23

God - My GPS

I am actually very tired but I want to jot some thoughts down before I sleep. I just realised it has been a while since I last blog - very busy lately. Praise God for His sustenance all these while. :)

Anyway, it has been a wonderful day spent at the United World College (South East Asia) located along Dover Road. I was there with two dear brothers-in-Christ manning a stall at the school's Christmas Fair selling children's clothings and quilts of a social enterprise - Cheeky Monkey. We also did that on Thursday at the Singapore American Club.

Though sales were not that great but we still thank God for allowing us to sell some items and also giving us chances to tell others of this ministry. It has been great interacting with people of different races, nationalities and religions. I enjoy doing this because it gives me opportunities to speak to strangers and occasionally bringing God into the picture in our conversations.

As much as it was fun, it is also very tiring. Anyway, all thanks and praise to God for allowing me to participate in this area of His work. :)

On our way home after dinner, we happened to drive alongside this van and my God-son's father pointed out the three GPS (Global Positioning System) devices that are installed on the dashboard of that vehicle. We were laughing that the driver probably did not want to get lost or that he has a couple of places to go. It was a funny sight but as we drove on, it dawned upon me that as much as we need a GPS device to point us to the correct way in order to reach our destination, in my Christian journey I also need a GPS to show me the way. That GPS of my life is none other than God Himself.

It is sometimes sad to note that we acquire a device to guide us physically but when it comes to our spiritual journey, we cast aside THE GPS who is the Way, the Truth and the Life!

I am challenged never to push God aside in all areas of my life - be it my thought, word or deed. In life we only need one GPS. Not two or three because once God is enthroned in my life, I know I will always be brought back to the path that leads to life eternal. Of course I may sway to the left and right occasionally because of my sinful nature but my God will bring me back on track! :)

Well, I guess that is the lesson I learnt today.

As I have been telling some friends and also in my Facebook, next week will be a super-busy one for me - I have to carry out my duties as a soldier in a reserved unit of the army; prepare for the 11.15am service I will be leading the following Sunday and also the Worship Team rehearsal on Friday; prepare and print the Missions Ministry Newsletter by Wednesday; prepare and attend the "A Day of Prayer for Missions" next Saturday; and lastly hold a briefing for a mission team going to Cambodia this month and attend another mission team's preparation the following Sunday.

The above schedules look scary but to a certain extent, I am also looking forward to them all. All I need is for the Lord to see me through one day at a time. I need to basically turn on my life's GPS. Haha.

Okie dokes, I shall end here. Time to sleep so that I will be all refreshed for church tomorrow!

Good night, world!

"Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." John 14:6